Turning Tables
by scared of clouds
Summary: "Her mind whirled through the memories, all the moments that she'd lived through that had led her to the truth of the matter – that James Potter had her, heart, body and soul, whether either of them knew it or not. Some of the memories were good, some bad, but all led here, towards James and whatever came next." L&J, seventh year.
1. Chapter 1 - Broken

**A/N: Hi everyone, this is my first fanfic upload to this site, so please forgive me if the formatting or anything looks a little off, I'm still figuring it out! Any suggestions are welcome, and I'd be grateful if anyone could warn me if they feel my rating needs to be changed at any point, as I'm not sure exactly where the boundaries are. **

**Much love and thanks for giving it a try x**

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) _**_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

Lily Evans sat on her bed and stared out of the window, her legs tucked under her and her purple bedspread half hanging off onto the floor; the rest of her room was neat and tidy like always, except for the broken picture frame lying forlornly on the carpet, its glass shattered and frame crumpled. The shouts from downstairs echoed up to her ears as her mother raged at her sister, but Lily didn't hear them. Her mind kept replaying the argument that had led to this, the insults Petunia had flung at her, which – even though she'd heard them all before – seemed to have extra venom behind them today.

_'Freak!' _

_'It's a good thing that Hogwarts place keeps weirdos like you away from normal people!'_

_'I tell my friends you go to a boarding school for troubled teens! That's if I have to admit I have a sister at all!' _

The sound of the front door slamming brought Lily back to reality. She stretched out her stiff legs from under her, and scrubbed her eyes with her fists before walking over to the wreckage of the framed photo. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand – her willow and unicorn hair wand that had turned Tuney against her forever – tapping it lightly against the shattered glass.

'Reparo.'

The frame and glass flew back together and Lily was once again looking at a Muggle photograph of her and Petunia on her first day at primary school. The two girls had their arms around each other and were grinning hugely at the camera, identical looks of happiness lighting up their faces.

She would never have thought then that twelve years later she and Petunia would be having one of the worst fights they'd ever had, over Lily not being invited to meet her future in-laws. She would never have dreamt that her sister would be so full of resentment that she would speak such spiteful words to her, never imagined that Tuney would one day be so ashamed of her that she would refuse to involve Lily in her life.

It was worse this summer than any of the ones before. Now that she was seventeen and could do magic outside of school whenever she wanted Petunia watched her like a proverbial bloody hawk, ready to lose her cool the second Lily showed any sign of 'abnormal behaviour'. Her mother kept telling her to be patient, blaming the strain Petunia was under organising her engagement party (she was obsessed with making the 'right impression' on Vernon's friends and family) for her treatment of Lily.

But today's argument had been too much even for her mother, and now Petunia had stormed out and she was left crying in her room for yet another relationship that had completely fallen apart on her. A few years ago she would have been able to run out of the house and tell Sev about it; now she didn't even know if he was home for the summer. She kept telling herself sternly that she shouldn't regret the loss of his friendship - after all it had been a miracle that kept it up for as long as they had given who his other _friends_ were. But on days like this, when Tuney seemed to hate her just for existing and her parents were exasperated and upset by the rift between their two girls, Lily found herself wishing for their friendship, for someone who could understand and sympathise with how she was feeling.

'Alright Evans, are you a Gryffindor or what? We don't sit in a pathetic heap on the floor of our bedroom feeling sorry for ourselves do we? No. We get off our backsides and sort ourselves out.'

Lily stood up, bolstered by her internal pep talk. She shook her red hair out of its band and smoothed it back into a neater ponytail, moving to the mirror to check her reflection as she did so. She groaned out loud at the sight of her puffy, tear-stained cheeks and swollen red eyes.

'Why is it that some women can actually manage to make it look attractive when they cry, and I end up looking like a Hippogriff with a hangover?'

She grabbed a handful of face wipes from her dresser and scrubbed her face, grateful for the cooling feeling that was at least taking some of the redness from her cheeks. Feeling slightly calmer and more collected, she walked to her desk and sat down, pulling quill, ink and parchment from one of the drawers.

_Marly_

_I hope your holiday has been as good as you hoped so far, it's weird to think that you're in France with Alice right now, and I'm sat at home._

_I know we've only been home for a week but it feels like bloody forever since I've seen you! Being home with Petunia is slowly frying my brain, and I've spent more time in the company of Dreary Dursley than anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together should ever have to. I haven't seen any sign of Sev though, which I suppose is a good thing if it means he's finally given up trying to apologise to me. _

_Anyway, I'm going to stop whining at you now, I just wanted to check that it's still ok for me to come and stay with you next week? Let me know, and I'll arrange to get the Knight Bus or something. _

_Much Love_

_Lily_

She sealed the envelope and walked over to her window, opening it all the way so she could lean out; she whistled twice, and Artemis, her barn owl swooped down onto her windowsill. Petunia hated birds, and since Lily had gone to Hogwarts she had developed an especially strong hatred of owls, so Lily had compromised by building a nesting box for Artemis in a large tree in the back garden. She tied the envelope to the leg Artemis was obediently holding out, and the owl was in flight almost before she'd finished.

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **_**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

Lily didn't leave her room at all that night, though both her parents came to try to persuade her, first to come down for dinner then to join them for a film. Petunia didn't come home, and though they tried not to show it, her parents were worried. Not so much about Petunia staying out, Lily thought, as the growth in the rift between them.

She woke the next morning, groggy and fully clothed on her bed, the window still wide open and the lily-patterned curtains (her mother's idea of a joke) being blown around by the strong winds outside. She slammed the window shut and trapped a finger in her haste. Sticking her aching digit in her mouth and cursing as quietly and inventively as possible, she made her way out of the room and into the bathroom, where she splashed water on her face in an attempt to stir herself into full wakefulness. She gestured her wand at the bruised finger and muttered 'episkey' under her breath; it went hot, then cold and then she sighed in relief as the pain disappeared. The finger was still slowly turning blue and was slightly swollen and clumsy, but at least it didn't hurt. She left the bathroom and walked down the stairs to the kitchen, making each step slow and deliberate, both to avoid waking her parents and to avoid any further injuries, since luck didn't seem to be on her side today.

She made toast and poured orange juice for herself, and then settled down at the kitchen table with yesterday's Daily Prophet. It made for grim reading; reports of attacks on muggle-borns, unexplained fires and a host of other violent acts that couldn't be openly attributed to Voldemort, but were almost certainly down to his Death Eaters. She'd have to make a point of throwing this out before her parents got a chance to read it.

A tap on the window made her jump, and she looked over to see a handsome, but completely unfamiliar tawny owl tapping on the outside. She opened the window to let the bird in, praying that Petunia wouldn't choose this moment to return home, and took the letter that was attached to its leg; 'Lily Evans' was scrawled messily on the envelope in handwriting she didn't recognise.

_Lily_

_I know it's probably a shock that I'm writing to you, but something really terrible has happened and I didn't know any other way to contact you._

_Marlene's parents were found dead yesterday, the dark mark was seen over their house. My dad is part of the auror team working on the case, although it's pretty obvious who's responsible. Marly is flooing back to my parents house today, she's going to stay with us until she decides something more permanent. I don't know if Alice is coming with her or nor, but I thought you might want to come and see her? I guess she's going to need her friends right now. You can stay here for a few days if you like, there's plenty of room._

_If you can come, let me know your address and I'll come and get you, I know you don't have your apparition test yet, and it'll be much quicker than the Knight Bus. _

_James Potter _

_PS you can send a reply back with Apollo, I've told him to wait._

The letter hadn't even hit the floor by the time Lily was halfway up the stairs to her desk.

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Lily hastily tied her reply to James to Apollo's leg and within seconds he was gone. It had taken her less than ten minutes to read the letter and pen a quick reply.

_James_

_Come and get me anytime. My address is 12 Potter's Lane, Cokeworth._

_Thank you_

_Lily_

Now she just had to worry about parental permission. She ran back upstairs and into her parent's room, making no attempt at being gentle as she shook them awake.

'Mum! Dad! Wake up, come on!'

Once she'd managed to get rouse both of them to the point where she deemed them capable of listening to her, she spoke in low, slightly panicked tones that she felt conveyed the urgency of the situation accurately.

'I know it's early, and I _know_ this is unexpected but I have to go. It's Marlene, her parents have been killed and I have to go and see her!'

'What? What was that darling?' asked Rose Evans, her voice groggy and confused as she sat bolt upright in bed, turning to focus on her daughter, while her husband groped around on the bedside for his glasses, muttering under his breath and knocking things over.

'There's been...a...horrible accident.' Lily had to privately admit to herself that she was impressed that she had managed to ad-lib a reasonable story under pressure and with no preparation, but_ s_peaking out loud about Marly's parents made it seem more real somehow, she had to suck in a deep breath to steady herself before she could continue. 'Marlene's parents have both been killed. I need to leave today, she's going to need to see her friends. I can't leave her on her _own_ mum.'

Her mother squinted more closely at her and rubbed a hand over her sleepy eyes, pushing her hair back from her face. 'How on earth did you find out about this? And what time is it anyway?'

'It's half past five. Sorry. And I got a letter from James Potter from school, Marlene's coming back from France to stay with his family until she decides what to do. He says I can stay for a few days, so I'm going to go stay with her. Okay?'

'Hang on a minute Lily.' interrupted her father, eyes narrowing as he honed in with typical parental precision on the one part of the previous sentence she hoped they'd overlook. 'When you say stay with Marlene then, you actually mean stay at the house of a boy we've never met?'

'Dad, this is not the time for you to get over-protective.' Lily stated firmly, her tone steady as she made eye contact with her father. 'My friend needs me, and fooling around with boys is the _furthest_ thing from my mind right now. I don't think I've ever given you a reason not to trust me have I?'

'She's right Will.' said her mother. 'Marlene will need her friends around her, she must be having a terrible time. We've always trusted Lily's judgement before, and I don't think they're likely to be throwing wild parties. Besides, I imagine this boy's parents will be there?' She looked to Lily for confirmation.

'Uh, I assume so.' Hopefully that sounded okay to her parents - truth was, Lily didn't know anywhere near enough about James Potter's home life to give an adequate assessment of his parents willingness or ability to supervise them. Based on his behaviour at Hogwarts, she couldn't imagine discipline was a major part of their parenting repertoire.

'There.' Lily's mother nodded. 'Nothing to worry about Will.' She turned back to Lily. 'What time will you be going dear?'

'I'm not sure, I'm waiting for them to let me know.' Lily mentally replayed Potter's letter and her response, trying to recall if there'd been any mention of a time-frame from either of them. She was relatively sure not. 'I probably won't be here when you get home from work, but I'll owl you to let you know I'm okay.'

'Okay.' Her mother leant forward and kissed her forehead before flopping back down on the bed and closing her eyes. 'You should go and pack. There's some money in the kitchen drawer, take what you need.'

Lily gave both of her parents a grateful smile, though neither one of them had their eyes open to see it. 'Thanks.'

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_


	2. Chapter 2 - Potter

**Disclaimer which I completely forgot about on the last chapter - the Harry Potter universe and all characters belong to JKR!**

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Two and a half hours later, Lily was pacing up and down in the kitchen, wishing she'd resisted drinking coffee at that hour of the morning, since it had increased her agitation to record levels. She'd showered and dressed in record time, flung some clothes and essentials into her trunk – Merlin only knew what she'd packed, she'd probably be wandering around James Potter's house in a bloody party dress – and shrunk said trunk down to the size of a backpack with a shrinking charm. Now she could do nothing but wait. And wait for James sodding Potter of all people! James Potter, the most infuriating, unreliable person she could think of, and she had to _depend_ on him. Not only that, she was going to have to see him repeatedly over the next week - and they'd presumably be spending it in extremely close quarters - and possibly even be grateful to him for his thoughtfulness in inviting her and his kindness towards Marly. This could be the longest week of her life.

With that, her thoughts turned to Marlene, and she immediately felt guilty; worrying over her –admittedly somewhat strained and difficult – relationship with Potter when one of her closest friends had woken up an orphan. She was berating herself out loud for this thoughtlessness when a deep, amused-sounding voice came from behind her.

'Talking to yourself Evans? I'd be worried if it was anyone else, but I've always thought you must spend a lot of time in conversation with yourself – after all, you never listen to anyone else, and when you really get going, none of us can get a word in edgeways anyway.'

She closed her eyes, muttered a silent prayer for patience to whatever gods might be listening, and then turned around to face James Potter, Marauder-in-Chief.

He stood leaning against the door frame, bright sunlight streaming in from the garden behind him, the light breeze rustling his already messy hair. Some boys, Lily knew, spent hours messing around with potions and hair products to get that 'just-rolled-out-of-bed-I-don't-care-how-my-hair-l ooks' image, but James Potter just naturally looked that way. Everything came naturally to James Potter. It was – probably – the most annoying thing about him. Although, if pressed, Lily could have written a list of things about James Potter that just _wound_ her up for some inexplicable reason. He just always got to her somehow.

'Talking to myself is usually the easiest way to avoid having to have a conversation with you or any of your friends Potter, so I perfected it a long time ago. It's the only way I hear a sensible voice sometimes.'

James' face broke into a wide, slightly crooked grin at that. Unfortunately for Lily's already shaky frame of mind, it just enhanced the good looks that had so many of the girls at Hogwarts melting as he walked past. Thankfully she was immune. Obviously. Noticing it didn't count.

'Aww Evans, I've missed you! Sirius is nowhere near as good at insulting me as you are. And Marly...'

His voice trailed off as the name left his lips, and the smile fell from his face as quickly as it had arrived. His hand came up to run through his hair, and the sparkle that was usually present in his hazel eyes dimmed. He looked, in that moment, an incredibly different person.

'How is she?' asked Lily softly.

'About as bad as you'd think.' replied James, his voice softening as he matched her gentle tone. 'I can't _imagine_ what it's like. I mean, losing your parents has always got to be awful, but to be so young when you do, and for it to be so sudden and violent...I don't know how she's coping to be honest.' That hand continued to run trails through his hair as he spoke. He paused and made an obvious effort to sound less miserable. 'Alice is with her, and I think they'll both be happy to see you.'

Lily hadn't taken her eyes off him as he'd spoken, her mind noting every nuance, every flicker of his features as he answered her question with an honesty and sincerity that she found oddly disarming. She didn't think she'd ever seen James Potter be so serious before, and she had to admit she was a little touched by his obvious and candid concern for Marly. She'd never have claimed to have known him well – she'd always found the majority of the Maurader's pranks irritating rather than funny, she'd been annoyed by his smart-alec mouth and Merlin knew they'd almost come to blows over his treatment of Sev – but it occurred to her now that she actually didn't know him at all. After six years of being in the same school, the same house, the same classes, she knew very little about him on a personal level.

Their relationship had become a lot more cordial over the last school year – coinciding with the final breakdown of her friendship with Sev – but it remained rather adversarial, the two of them making biting, albeit not unfriendly remarks to each other on an almost daily basis. Needling each other was a great source of amusement for them both, but she thought they were both secretly grateful that it no longer had the edge of antagonism that had marked a large part of their earlier association. He hadn't asked her out since that day by the lake, and that was a relief, but he rarely missed a chance to make a dirty comment or poke fun at her studious habits. Her role as prefect was also a sore point, and always had been; it required her to grapple with his rule-breaking nature after all, but she had come to recognise over the last school year that it was simply his nature to be mischievous and find trouble wherever he went. She had largely given up on trying to control him, and had settled for damage limitation.

The possibility that she had misjudged him occurred to her, and not for the first time, but her thought process was interrupted by his large hand being waved in front of her face.

'Earth to Evans? Anybody home?'

He was closer than she remembered, and it made her jump a step backwards. Seeing the surprise on his face, she blushed and then cursed herself, both for zoning out and for blushing uncontrollably in his presence. Again.

'Sorry' she mumbled, looking down at her hands which were twining nervously around each other. 'I was just thinking...about Marly.' Guilt settled in her stomach at the lie, but admitting the truth was unthinkable.

James was still looking at her cautiously, but now a flicker of sympathy appeared on his face.

'I know. I'm struggling with it myself. I've known the McKinnons my whole life, and suddenly they're just _gone_. And seeing Marly like she is at the moment – it's like she's not Marly anymore. She's barely spoken.' He paused before adding 'She'll be pleased to see you though. You're good at making people feel better about things.'

He was still looking at her, but she was having trouble meeting his gaze. There was no doubt in her mind that he was genuinely worried for their friend, but it had never occurred to her that the loss of the McKinnon's might have been a loss for him too. She'd spent all morning bitching privately about how awful it was going to be to see him over the next few days, and he'd been dealing with Marly while coming to terms with things himself. The guilt that was still in her stomach had settled into a hard knot as she considered how selfish she'd been in her attitude. Well, she could make up for it by doing everything she could for her friends now.

'Okay. Well I'm all packed and ready to go, so...' She made a vague gesture as words failed her.

'We'll apparate from outside if that's okay with you, I find it easier to do a side-along with a bit of space around me.' He noticed the shrunken trunk on the table behind her and raised an eyebrow. 'Is that all you're bringing with you? You pack lighter than any woman I've ever met.'

Lily let out the smallest of laughs, feeling a certain rush of relief as the worst of the tension surrounding them broke.

'I packed in such a rush I couldn't even tell you what's in it. I just hope I remembered important things like underwear.'

She blushed again as soon as she realised what she had said, but he just smiled, and bit his lip as he tried to hold back a laugh.

'Okay, well if you can hold onto it we'll just apparate it with us, save us sending it separately. Ready?'

'Sure.'

He grabbed her trunk over her protests and walked out. She followed him out of the back door, stopping to lock it and hide the key under a plant pot, then walked over to where he stood on the lawn. She reached out and took the trunk with her left hand and looked at him, waiting for further instruction. Again, she couldn't help feeling a little consternation at needing James Potter to instruct her in something. The faintest trace of a smirk on his face didn't help.

He looked over at her and held out his left hand, palm upwards.

'Just give me your hand, and follow me as I start to turn, I'll do the rest...what's the matter with your hand?'

She glanced down at her right hand which had been reaching out for his and saw the blackened index finger, which had only became an even nastier shade of purple in the hours since her fight with the window.

'Oh, trapped it in a window this morning. It doesn't hurt, I used a healing charm'

He took her hand in his, his larger one engulfing it, and lifted it towards his face to examine the swollen finger critically.

'Well you didn't do a very good job, look at it! Hold still a minute would you?'

She had been trying to squirm her hand out of his grip, which was ridiculous now she came to think of it, since she needed to hold his hand to apparate. She relaxed her hand in his and watched as he put his free hand over their joined ones and slowly ran his index finger down the length of hers. She let out a gasp as she watched her finger reduce in size then turn back to its normal pale skin colour.

'How did you do that?'

He looked down at her with the faintest glimmer of amusement reappearing in his eyes for the first time since he'd mentioned Marly.

'In case you hadn't noticed already, I'm quite good at magic. And from the looks of things, I'm definitely outstripping you in the healing charms department.'

'Whatever Potter, when did you learn wandless magic? **_I _**don't know wandless magic '

'It's no harder than any other kind, it's just requires different focus.'

Definite dodging of the question there. 'You're not going to answer me are you?'

'No. Give me your hand so we can get out of here.'

She huffed out a breath, then put her right hand in his left, staring resolutely forward and refusing to meet his eyes. James smiled to himself. No way in hell was he ever going to admit that the healing charm didn't actually require him to touch her at all. Grin still on his face, he turned in a circle and apparated them both away.

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **__**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

Lily landed awkwardly and would have fallen if James hadn't grabbed her waist and steadied her. His quick reaction time made her suspect that he'd anticipated her clumsiness, and she had to bite back the urge to snap at him. She hadn't quite realised how close they were standing until an older version of James walked past them, and then she leapt backwards as if she'd been stung.

'Your mother and I won't be back till late tonight James, if we're back at all, so take care of the guests would you? You must be Lily Evans my dear, so very glad you're here, and so sorry we had to meet under such terrible circumstances. James' mother and I are required rather urgently in work at the moment, sure you can understand, but I hope we'll catch up very soon and meet you properly, James has often talked about you. I'm sure you'll be a great help to Marlene.'

James's father had barely drawn breath during his entire speech, and he shook her hand extremely quickly before apparating immediately. Noted her shell-shocked look, James apologised for his father's hurried greeting.

'Sorry about that, he always talks quickly at the best of times, but he's under a lot of stress at work at the moment. Much worse now since he's lost Mr McKinnon. Anyway, come on in, I'll take you to Marly.'

Up until that point Lily had paid no attention to the surroundings, and she suddenly realised how large and how well kept the garden she was standing in was, and when she turned to follow James back the way Mr Potter had come she saw the most beautiful house she'd ever laid eyes on. It was red brick, three stories high, with large windows and a balcony with wrought iron railings wrapping around the first floor, creating a shaded porch around the ground floor of the house.

Realising she wasn't following him, James turned around to where she had stopped dead in the middle of the gravelled driveway to stare. He took two steps back towards her and smiled almost apologetically. His hands were tucked in his front jeans pockets and he jerked one shoulder in an awkward half shrug. the gesture was oddly appealing.

'Family money.'

Then he reached out for her hand and pulled her forward, leading her into the house. She was too dumbfounded to even complain about being manhandled.

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **__**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_


	3. Chapter 3 - Secrets

**Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter, and I don't. Wouldn't mind borrowing James for a bit though. **

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James led Lily up the front steps and into the wide hallway, pausing to take her trunk from her unresisting hand, returning it to its normal size with his wand and then dropping it unceremoniously on a luggage rack by the front door. Catching her worried look, he gave her the smallest of smiles.

'Don't worry, it won't get lost or anything. One of the house elves will take it to the right room for you.'

'Oh.' Temporarily flustered, Lily stopped for a moment, and he came to an abrupt halt just ahead of her. 'I could do that myself you know, I'm not really use to having someone do that kind of thing for me – and besides, I'm sure your house elves have enough extra work to do with so many guests around at the moment...'

She realised she was babbling, but couldn't seem to stop herself. She'd been thrown completely off guard this morning, first by the news about Marlene's family, then by the fact that she felt she'd found out more about James Potter today than she had the previous six years. Now she was standing in a huge, expensively furnished house talking about house elves carrying her luggage for her. She was completely overwhelmed, she knew it showed, and she was more afraid than she would ever admit that he would tease her forever about this. She _hated _feeling out of her depth.

'Have you ever actually met a house elf?' he interrupted, his face betraying nothing worse than a brief flicker of amusement at her ramble and subsequent blush. He folded his arms across his chest and observed her closely before continuing. 'No? Well I can tell you, they _love _visitors and extra work. The only reason they aren't here right now, wrestling your luggage from you and trying to offer you tea and biscuits is because mum has taken them all with her to the ministry to keep up the supply of refreshments to the aurors. So don't worry.'

He looked and sounded so sincere that Lily felt the corners of her lips twitch into an almost-smile, but she still really wasn't that comfortable about having someone wait on her – especially a house elf. Still, this wasn't her house, and she didn't really have a right to complain about other people doing things differently; and even after six years she was still unsure of many things about the magical world, so maybe it was best to just be guided by him on this. Right. Suck it up Evans. Realising he was still waiting for a response, she gave him a tentative smile.

The sound of heavy footsteps stomping down the staircase shook her out of her thoughts, and a loud male voice echoed through the hallway.

'Prongs, you're back! Aaah, and you brought flowers. A flower anyway.'

Lily turned to see Sirius Black heading towards her, his trademark cocky smirk on his face as he walked up to them. She briefly wondered if he practised it in the mirror, before he shocked her completely by wrapping his arms around her in a very friendly hug.

'And how have you been Blossom?'

'Blossom? Black, if you ever call me that again I'll hex your nose clean off your face. Blossom is a cow's name.'

Lily shoved Sirius back, leaving one finger pointed threateningly at him, and tried her absolute hardest to pretend she couldn't hear James sniggering behind her, reminding herself again to keep her temper firmly in check. Sirius paused and considered her sentence carefully before replying. 'You know, that opening was so obvious there isn't even going to be any satisfaction in insulting you, so I'm not going to. You take all the fun out of everything Evans.'

James stepped between them, feeling it would be prudent to stop them from hexing each other after less than five minutes in each other's company, but nonetheless uncomfortable in the role of peacemaker between his best friend and the girl he...well...never mind.

'Are you going now Padfoot? Sooner the better I think.' James spoke, emphasising his words and raising his eyebrows as he looked directly at Sirius. Sirius gave a sudden grin at the obvious double meaning in James' words, but then quickly sobered up and nodded.

'I'll be as fast as I can.'

He gave Lily one last cheeky grin and headed out of the main door, giving her a wink before spinning around on the top step and apparating with a flourish.

'He never bloody changes does he? Life is one big game to Sirius Black, and the world is his playground.' Lily grumbled, turning back to James, whose face had turned stony at her comment.

'You shouldn't be so harsh, Evans, or so quick to judge. Sirius is under just as much stress as everyone else – probably more - and he deals with it by pretending it's all a joke. He doesn't mean any disrespect, and Merlin knows it can be nice to have somebody trying to stay positive through all this.'

James' eyes were boring into hers, and her skin felt hot and prickly as she flushed under his scrutiny, but she found herself unable to look away from his disapproving gaze; his usually sparkling eyes had a hard edge and his voice had a definite cold tone as he chided her for her attitude. She hadn't entirely meant it – sure she could find Sirius' devil-may-care act irritating, but she actually appreciated his sense of levity under normal circumstances. She felt completely bewildered as she realised that she'd been unfair and James was calling her out on it; more, she realised to her further embarrassment, she was in his home, where he was kindly letting her stay so she could be with her friend, and she had decided to start off by insulting his best mate.

'You're right.' She spoke hesitantly, but firmly.

James looked slightly shocked at that, but his stance retained the defensiveness it had taken on since she had insulted his friend's behaviour.

'Excuse me?'

'I said you're right. It isn't fair of me to criticise Sirius, and I didn't mean to be so unfeeling. I'll apologise when I see him later. He is coming back isn't he?'

James relaxed and gestured for Lily to follow him towards the staircase that Sirius had come down before responding to her question. 'Yeah. Well, I mean he lives here, so he doesn't have much of a choice really.'

'He lives with you? I didn't know that.'

'Well, we don't exactly run around Hogwarts proclaiming the fact to be honest. Can you imagine the rumours?' James gave a fake shudder of horror, and Lily found herself actually relaxing slightly for the first time that day.

'Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. Couldn't have the sexuality of the Marauders called into question could we?'

'Oh, I couldn't give a sod about if people think I'm gay, it's them thinking my standards are low enough to go for that tosser!'

Lily couldn't quite stifle the giggle that wanted to escape, and James' lips twitched as her noticed her struggle to keep a straight face.

'Haven't you just finished berating me for being mean about him? Double standards there Potter.'

'Yeah, but he's my best mate, I'm allowed to call him any rude name I like. And I do. Frequently.'

Lily's lips twitched again, and she almost walked straight into James as he stopped abruptly, his expression serious, although she thought she could see a hint of something like repressed anger. 'I think I should probably tell you the real reason he's here, because it bothers him to talk about it and I'd prefer if it didn't come up in conversation and make things awkward. He ran away from his parents last summer, and he's lived here since then. He hasn't spoken to them or his younger brother since, and he doesn't anticipate that he will again - he prefers not to advertise it to everyone, so not many people know. Just don't mention it unless he does first okay?'

Lily was shocked, and slightly appalled at herself actually, as she realised that, just like with James, she had shared a common room with Sirius for years and known absolutely nothing about him, least of all that he had a rough home life.

'Why..why did he leave?' She stammered out the question. 'Are his parents awful?'

James snorted in disgust. 'Awful does not even begin to cover it Lily. Sirius' parents are Voldemort...enthusiasts shall we say? Obsessed with pure-blood status and the need to subdue the "vermin". They went beserk when he was sorted into Gryffindor, the whole Black family had been Slytherin for generations, and they think he disgraces the family by being a "blood traitor". Arseholes.'

James glanced at Lily to gauge her reaction before he continued. 'Not all of his family are like that though, a few of Sirius' cousins have been disowned, and his great-uncle left him an inheritance, so he's not exactly penniless. But still...it's hard for him, to not have any family...any _blood_ family. So he lives here. I'm pretty sure my mum likes him better than me actually.'

Lily nodded slowly, trying to absorb the information before looking back at James. 'I won't say anything, not to anyone. You can...he can trust me.'

James looked at her appraisingly, then continued up the stairs. She started after him, absorbing the tasteful decoration, and to her surprise a number of muggle contraptions, including a telephone on the table of the landing they had reached.

'Where did Sirius go anyway?' she asked suddenly.

James stopped again and turned to face her, the muscles in his jaw tightening.

'To look for Remus. We tried to owl him about the McKinnons, but the owl came back with the letter unopened. I guess normally we wouldn't be too worried; you know, we'd just assume he'd gone away and forgotten to let us know...but times aren't exactly normal are they? And Remus...well, he could be a target for Death Eaters.'

'Because he's a werewolf?'

James froze, his expression somewhere between shocked and furious, though Lily thought she detected an underlying hint of panic. 'Where the bloody hell do you get off making accusations like that? Do you know what would happen to Remus if that kind of rumour got around? I thought you were better than that kind of malicious gossip Evans.'

Noting that he practically snarled out her surname, and admittedly slightly scared of the anger that was evident in his eyes, Lily felt the need to take two deep breaths before looking him directly and steadily in the eye and responding. She refused to be cowed by his anger, even though she could respect that it obviously came from a desire to protect his friend.

'It's not gossip, and I would never – never – repeat it to anybody else. But I'm not stupid or unobservant; Remus is sick every month, always at full moon, and comes back a couple of days later covered in scratches and bruises. And you saved Se...Snape from a "monster" that Sirius told him about, coincidentally also at full moon. I put it all together a while back Potter. Remus is a werewolf, you and Sirius – and probably Peter too, I suspect – know about it, Sirius told Snape where to find him at full moon, and you saved him because you knew Remus wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.'

James hadn't moved during her whole speech. It was like he was rooted to the spot, but the anger had slowly melted from his face, leaving it a curious mix of shock and fear. Lily nervously clasped her hands in front of her and waited for his reaction. It was somewhat unexpected when it came. 'Have you...have you mentioned _any_ of this to anyone?

Lily shook her head slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on his in a silent refusal to back down.

'To Remus?'

She shook her head again, then spoke slowly and carefully, trying to make sure she couldn't be misunderstood.

'I didn't want to embarass him, to make him uncomfortable around me. I mean, we see each other a lot – prefect duties and everything. If he wanted to talk to me about it, he would. If he doesn't, fine. I don't talk to him about my horrendous excuse for a sister, so why should I push him to confide his...personal issues.'

'Personal issues. I've never heard it expressed quite like _that_ before.'

'It's better than "furry little problem" don't you think?' snapped Lily. 'And that lie about a badly behaved rabbit was the most _ridiculous_ excuse that Sirius has ever been stupid enough to come up with.'

James snorted a laugh. 'I can't disagree with you on that one, although I have to say it was hysterically funny at the time.'

He quickly became serious again and looked at her steadily, his frown making his eyes narrow. Lily felt a brief urge to reach forward and straighten out the furrow between his eyes with her thumb, but instead kept her hands clasped firmly together and in front of her.

'Okay. Your... supposition... is correct. But please, let _me_ tell Remus that you know, and...don't mention it to him unless he brings it up?

Lily nodded slowly, reaching a hand up to tuck her hair back behind her ears before replying. 'I like Remus. He's a good person, and he's one of my best friends. When you tell him, could you tell him that? Tell him that it doesn't change anything; not for me anyway. If it changes things for him, I understand...but I hope it doesn't.'

James' facial expression lightened slightly, and he gave her the faintest smile before turning to gesture to the nearest door on the right.

'That's your room. Marlene is next door, Alice is on the other side of her. I thought maybe she'd like to have people in easy reach. The balcony connects all three of your rooms together, and that's the bathroom opposite.' He paused briefly, then continued. 'Feel free to go down to the kitchen or the sitting room or wherever...just...do whatever it takes to help her okay? And call me if you need anything.'

He took a step backwards, still facing her, his eyes burning intensely into hers before spinning quickly on his heel and heading back down the stairs the way they had come. Lily turned to face Marlene's door, took a deep breath and knocked lightly before pushing it open.

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	4. Chapter 4 - Confusion

**A/N: Sorry for the slower than usual update everyone, but this chapter was driving me up the wall! There was supposed to be a whole other section to this, but it just ended up being way too long, so I've had to split it into two, which was a nightmare. Took me ages to find a place where I could break it up reasonably naturally. Anyway I'm rambling.  
**

**Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter, lucky thing.**

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Lily walked quietly into the room James had pointed out as Marlene's, her stomach tying itself in knots at the thought of seeing her – gorgeous, funny Marlene – in the sort of state that obviously had James worried.

The room was large and airy and its balcony doors were slightly open to allow the fresh air to circulate, the pale blue curtains rustling softly. A large four-poster bed sat against the furthest wall and on its blue patterned bedspread were her two best friends in the world.

Alice Fortesque was sat cross legged on the bed, her expression tired and dried tears marks streaking her face; her curly brown hair was bundled unceremoniously up on her head and her shirt was a mass of creases. Marlene's head rested in her lap, and she was gently stroking her long blond hair and humming quietly.

She looked up at the sound of the door opening and a flash of relief crossed her face at the sight of Lily tentatively crossing the room towards them. The redhead raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question, but a one shouldered shrug was all the answer Alice had to give.

'Marly?' Lily whispered, climbing onto the bed in front of the two girls and sweeping Marlene's hair back to reveal her face, puffy from crying and set in an expression of inexhaustible grief. 'Marly, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Marly?'

'She hasn't really said anything since we heard the news.' Alice spoke for the first time, her voice hoarse and croaky. 'She...' Alice trailed off as she started to cough and tried desperately to clear her throat. Glancing round, Lily spotted a water jug and goblets on the dresser, and she got up to pour a glass for Alice. Handing it to her, she spoke again to Marlene. 'Marly? There's water here honey, do want some? Make your throat feel better?' There was no response.

'She stopped crying a few hours ago, and she more or less hasn't moved or spoken since.' Whispered Alice into Lily's ear. 'When mum told us...it was like she'd been hit by a curse. She just froze and said it was her fault. She just kept mumbling it over and over, and then she started crying, and I...I didn't think she was ever going to stop. Then she did...and this is almost worse. Sometimes I'm not even certain she can hear me.'

'Why don't you get up for a minute and stretch your legs?' suggested Lily. 'I'll sit with her for a few minutes.'

Alice gave a weak smile and lifted Marlene's head gently –Lily slid onto the bed and replaced Alice as Marlene's pillow, while the other girl staggered slightly and cursed her numb legs under her breath as she got up.

'Bloody hell that's painful! I'm just going to the bathroom, and then I'm going to grab a few bits from my room okay? I'll be straight back.'

'Take a few minutes Al, just...take a walk, stretch out or something okay? Do some yoga or whatever.'

Their eyes met, and for a moment both girls managed a smile. But it was only a fleeting moment and their strained facial expressions soon returned. Alice nodded and left the room, leaving Lily alone and holding the curled up body of her closest friend.

She sighed and looked down. Silent tears rolled down her face, both in sympathy for Marlene, and for her own grief at seeing her crushed by the bereavement. Loud, cocky, irrepressible Marlene had been one of Lily' few constants since she had arrived at Hogwarts, a confused eleven year old with little to no clue about the magical world she'd been thrown into. Marlene McKinnon had thrown her arm round her shoulder on that first night in the dorm, and announced that she had never seen anyone in greater need of being corrupted; since that day Marly had done her very best to get Lily into as much trouble as possible, fighting Lily's aversion to it every step of the way and insisting that everybody needed a healthy dose of anarchy.

She had mocked her over James Potter's seeming delight in embarrassing her, got them thrown out of the Hog's Head for trying to order firewhiskey aged thirteen, punched the first Slytherin who had ever called her a mudblood and insisted on sharing as much detail about her sexual escapades as possible. She had gotten angry on Lily's behalf about Petunia's behaviour, steered her through the fallout of her final fight with Sev and listened to her complaints about the Marauders, always failing to hide her amusement at their pranks.

Lily couldn't allow her to best friend to crumble now; she would have to be the one who held everything together for both of them, because there was no way Lily could make it through another year at Hogwarts unless Marlene McKinnon was there to laugh at her every step of the way.

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A tentative tap on the door startled Lily out of her thoughts, as she realised she had no idea how much time had passed since she had sat down with Marly.

'Alice?'

The door opened and a tray floated in at chest height, James following it in his wand held in front of him.

'No, I am most definitely not Alice. No breasts, no evil temper, slightly less hairy legs...'

Lily laughed in spite of herself, then stopped and glanced down at Marlene who was still rigid and unmoving in her lap.

'Sorry.' James looked annoyed with himself and shook his head. 'Really not the time for jokes is it? I didn't mean to be an insensitive arse.'

He set the tray down on the dresser, then shoved his wand into his back pocket and turned to face the bed.

'Don't apologise.' Lily smiled weakly. 'Marlene has always liked your terrible jokes for some reason – maybe they'll do her good.'

James frowned and approached the bed, kneeling down alongside it. He reached out and gently touched her visible cheek before speaking. 'Hey Mar. I brought some tea up, would you like some?

Lily could feel the smallest imaginable movement in her lap as Marlene faintly shook her head.

'Aw, come on Mar. I made it myself, all on my own, and you know I make the best tea. It's nice green tea, sugar, I know it's your favourite. I had to go to a muggle shop and buy it and everything. '

Marlene sniffed, and then nodded just once, very slowly. James reached an arm under her body and helped her sit up, using his free hand to push her curtain of fair hair back off her face. He craned his neck so he could make eye contact with her then gave her an encouraging smile. He pulled several pillows from the bed and propped them behind her to support her as she sat up. She turned her head and registered Lily's presence for the first time.

'Lil?'

'Yeah Marly, I'm here too sweetie.' Lily replied softly, taking Marlene's hand and rubbing it soothingly. 'We're all here for you.' She was relieved to see Marlene responding to someone, although she couldn't quite cover her confusion over the effect James had been able to have on her; they had never seemed particularly close and the fact that he could seemingly soothe her when she and Alice couldn't made her think that there was more to their relationship than Marly had let on all those times she had laughingly defended James to Lily. She found herself speculating on the matter, as there was no denying that James had been peculiarly sweet in the way he spoke to her – she had never seen him treat even his closest friend with that amount of tenderness.

'Lily? Could you come here for a second?' he asked from behind her. She patted Marlene's hand once more, then slid off the bed and joined him by the tea tray.

'I'm not sure whether this is a good idea or not, but... I know everyone drinks tea when this kind of thing happens, but don't muggles sometimes put alcohol in it...you know, for the shock? I didn't know whether it was a good idea, so I brought a glass of firewhiskey up on the tray in case ...I thought you might know since...? He trailed off, struggling for the words, but Lily had caught his train of thought and finished the sentence for him.

'Since my parents are muggles?' She asked. 'Well, both my parents had brandy in their tea the day McGonagall came with my Hogwarts letter, so I guess it helps them at least. I can't speak for all the muggles in the world though.' she teased.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to be insulting or anything...' Lily interrupted him before he could get any further into the sentence. 'You weren't insulting at all. I understand that you don't know much about muggle ways of doing things; Hell, the magical world still confuses the bloody hell out of me most of the time. I say put the whiskey in the tea, it can't hurt.'

James poured a cup of green tea, added two spoons of sugar and a generous measure of firewhiskey before speaking again, slowly and carefully. 'I didn't want to make an issue of your parentage; I don't want you feel uncomfortable here. I know that...certain people _have _commented on it and I don't want you to think I was doing the same. It was a genuine question, and you were the only person I could ask.'

He turned and handed her the tea cup. 'Give this to Marly. I'll come back later to see her.' He left the room silently, and Lily was left feeling that somehow there had just been some huge misunderstanding between them.

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Sometime later the door to Marlene's room burst open and Alice came charging in.

'Shit, sorry, I swear I just meant to lie down for a minute, I closed my eyes for a second and I must have fallen asleep, I'm really sorry!' she blurted out as she rushed over to the bed.

'It's okay Alice, calm down!' Lily put down the magazine she had been flipping through and hurried to reassure her. 'She's asleep, she's okay, there's nothing you could have done here, and you needed a break too.'

Alice pulled herself up onto the bed and sat Indian style facing Lily, Marlene lying peacefully in between them. 'How long has she been asleep?' she asked Lily.

'I'm not sure.' She leant over to the bedside table to look at the clock there. 'About two hours I think. James talked her into drinking some green tea that he'd dosed with whiskey, and it seems to have relaxed her if nothing else.'

'James did? I'm not surprised, he's been trying to think of things he could do to help since we got here. He was the one who thought of getting you here. He's pretty cut up about all this. I've never seen him quite so panicked as when he saw her for the first time today.'

Lily moved from the bed, picking up the empty teacup as she went and placing it back on the tray. She noted that James had brought up three cups, and bowls of sugar and honey as well as the pot of tea; the thoughtfulness of the gesture surprised her. 'I didn't realise he knew Marly's family until today – I didn't even really know that he knew Marly that well.' she said, hoping the question was obvious in her tone of voice.

'They're cousins.' replied Alice. 'In some extremely complicated pure-blood way. That's the thing with the old wizarding families, they all know each other and they're so interbred by now that if pure-bloods only married pure-bloods they'd probably end up breeding wizards with three arms and no chins. Just think, You-Know-Who could end up with an army full of genetic mutants if he had his way on the muggle born thing.'

Lily didn't respond, and Alice turned her head to the side and studied her closely. 'Are you okay Lil? You seem, well, out of it, to be honest.'

Lily turned back round to face the bed and leant back on the dresser. She folded her arms across her chest, looked at Alice and took a deep breath.

'I think I had a fight with James.'

Alice's brow furrowed at that. 'You think? I'm pretty sure that there usually isn't any doubt in _anyone's_ mind when you and James are having a fight. It's a 'man the lifeboats, women and children first' kind of event usually. Although, I am interested in when he became "James" instead of "Potter".'

Lily resisted the urge to poke her tongue out at Alice, but only just. 'He became James as soon as he allowed me to stay in his house to help look after my best friend, and he'll continue to be James until he annoys me so much that I end up calling him Potter again. Which won't be too bloody long. And it wasn't a fight as such, it...I don't know what the hell it was to be honest. He seemed to think he'd upset me, so I told him he hadn't, which seemed to upset _him _because he felt the need to make a speech, then he just left!'

Alice's face was still locked into its confused grimace. 'Okay, two steps back here. What were you talking about?'

'He asked me about what muggles do in this kind of situation, then he thought he'd upset me by mentioning that my family were muggles - which he hadn't since I'm not ashamed of it – but then he blathered on about not wanting me to think that he had any issue with me being muggle-born. What the hell, Alice?'

She huffed out a breath before replying. 'I don't know exactly what happened there Lil, but despite the fact that he can be a prize prat sometimes, one thing James isn't, is a bigot. He probably didn't want you to think he was trying to get at you, he hates all that blood purity mania. Let's be honest here, you're usually pretty quick to jump down his throat when you think he's said or done something stupid; he probably thought he was heading off an argument before it could upset Marlene. Just...take the tea stuff back down, and use it as an excuse to tell him that you don't have a problem.'

Lily struggled to find a flaw in the plan – at least a tiny one which would delay her having to go and speak to him again – but couldn't. So she settled for giving in to the urge to poke her tongue out at Alice. Collecting the tea things together on the tray, she headed for the door, pausing only to add: 'Sometimes you're so bloody practical you make me want to vomit Alice Fortesque.' She resisted the urge to slam it shut behind her, and stomped off down the hallway towards the stairs to have a conversation she didn't want to have with a boy she didn't understand.

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	5. Chapter 5 - Explosions

**A/N: Nice to see you again! If you came back, thank you for sticking with me (if you reviewed, followed or favourited you are amazing, never let anyone tell you differently) and if you're new to the story, welcome and I hope you do come back.  
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**So this is what was originally going to be the second half of the _last_ chapter, but I'm apparently a lot more long-winded than I thought. Hope it's worth the wait :) **

**Just thought I'd mention here that even though this story is _mainly_ canon, I have taken a couple of liberties with timelines and characters etc, and I have shamelessly invented potions and spells if I couldn't think of a pre-existing one that did what I wanted.**

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Lily had made it back to the main hallway and was stood at the foot of the stairs trying to fathom where the kitchen would be – had James mentioned it? She didn't think so – when a loud and unexpected sound made her jump violently. She lost her grip on the tray and the entire contents crashed onto the floor, spattering the nearby walls – and her - with green tea and honey. She winced at the thought of the damage done to the expensive décor, but stood frozen to the spot, trying to decide between frantically cleaning up the mess or going to discover the source of the noise, which she had recognised as the unmistakable sound of apparition.

Her decision was made when Sirius Black fell unceremoniously through the front door and collapsed onto the tiled floor. His left arm was dangling at a sickeningly wrong angle at just below the elbow, his robes were torn and smoke-stained and a large cut on his forehead was oozing blood that was dripping into his right eye. She ran to him and knelt next to his battered body, sliding her hands under him and trying to roll him onto his back for a better look.

'Sodding hell, what is going on?' James' voice came from behind her, and she glanced up at him quickly. He was halfway down the stairs, his eyes taking in what must have been an incredibly odd sight; Sirius sprawled on the floor, battered and bruised, while Lily manhandled him ineffectively, the floor covered in green tea and shards of broken pottery. He shook off his confusion quickly, and took the rest of the stairs two at a time until he arrived alongside Lily. 'What happened?' he demanded again.

'I've no idea.' She replied, still trying to shake Sirius into moving. 'I was looking for the kitchen to put the tea things away when I heard him apparate, then he just crashed through the door and collapsed.' She flicked a sideways look at James, who was peeling back Sirius' eyelids to examine his pupils in a professional looking manner, before adding 'I dropped the tray. Everything broke and made a horrendous mess. Sorry.'

James looked over to the mess on the walls and floor then looked back at her, taking in the state of her jeans and t-shirt. 'Least of my problems. I think we can move him; can you levitate him and follow me?' He got to his feet and looked down at her, waiting for a response.

She glanced at him then quickly looked away, but obviously didn't quite manage to hide the question in her eyes. He gave her a small smile 'You've always been better at charms than I have. With the duly noted exception of healing ones.'

Keeping her face carefully expressionless, she got to her feet, pulled her wand from her pocket and aimed it at Sirius' still motionless body. 'Wingardium Leviosa.' Her hand made the intricate movement for the spell effortlessly, and Sirius' frame rose to waist height and hovered there steadily. She turned back to James, and her wand hand wavered for a second as she caught sight of the worry that was etched on his face. Realising that she was looking at him he quickly composed his face and turned to walk along the hallway in the opposite direction to the staircase; she followed, trying to keep Sirius' movements as small as possible to prevent a worsening of his injuries.

James eventually stopped at a set of imposing double doors. He pushed them open, then stepped aside and gestured for Lily to enter the room with Sirius. 'Just lower him onto the sofa by the window. Gently.'

'Really? To think, I was going to bounce him off walls a bit first.' She couldn't seem to help herself as she snapped back at him, but she did as he asked and deposited Sirius as neatly as possible onto the green leather sofa.

'Well if any part of him is going to hit the walls, do me a favour and make sure it's his head, it's hard enough to take it.' James' response was cool and entirely unruffled by Lily's huffy remark; he hadn't even turned around to face her, but continued to root through a bureau for something.

Watching him, she became aware of her surroundings for the first time. This was a _library_. James Potter had a _library_. It surprised her he even knew what one was. It was high-ceilinged like the rest of the house, and enormous floor to ceiling windows with glossy white frames took up one whole wall, letting in the warm afternoon sunlight. The walls were painted a rich sage-green colour and there were sofas and armchairs - all in that same green leather - scattered around the room. The other three walls had full height built-in bookshelves and were completely full to bursting with books.

'Aha, I knew the bloody thing was in here somewhere!' James' voice shook her out of her daydream, and she focused back on him as he pulled an old leather satchel out of the sideboard he had been rummaging around in.

'Dad's emergency field kit.' he said, by way of explanation. 'Knew there was no way he wouldn't have kept one, even if he is doomed to life as a paper-pusher these days.' He poured the contents of the satchel onto the coffee table next to Sirius and began sorting it.

'Shouldn't we take him to St. Mungo's?' asked Lily hesitantly. 'The arm alone looks bad, and he's been out cold for a good few minutes.'

'He wouldn't want to go, they always insist on contacting his parents. Next of kin and all that jazz. Besides, I think it looks worse than it is, and I'm pretty experienced at patching him up. I've seen worse on the Quidditch pitch. I should be able to manage...if you'll help.'

He purposefully avoided looking at her as he spoke, and held his breath while he waited for a response; he expelled it in a rush as he felt her kneel down beside him and join him in digging through the kit. It took a huge effort not to glance sideways and just look at her.

'Dittany. Should do for the cut.' She placed a small flask off to one side. 'What else are you looking for?'

'Egritudo. And evigilo.' Catching the look of surprise she gave him out of the corner of her eyes, he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, not even in these circumstances. 'What? I pay attention in potions you know.'

She muttered something under her breath which to him sounded a lot like 'You'd never know it.'

He grinned at her, and she steadfastly refused to smile back, picking the two potions he'd mentioned out of the mess of the kit and placing them neatly upright alongside the dittany. She faced him and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

'Right then. Egritudo first, wouldn't you say? We need to know how much leeway we have in moving him.' James picked up the potion and moved over to Sirius – he slid one hand under his best friends head and tilted it forward slightly. Lily uncorked the bottle, recoiling slightly at the pungent smell of the mixture and handed it to him. He started to pour it into Sirius' mouth, but stopped sharply.

'Lily, can you pinch his nose closed? I need to make him swallow this.' She obliged, and James forced the rest of the potion down his throat. His whole body began to glow, and they watched as the light pulsated then slowly began to recede until it was only present in his lower arm and head.

'Okay, just the two obvious injuries then, we can handle that.' said James confidently. He stood back from the sofa, raised his wand and pointed it at Sirius' arm. 'Brackium Emendo.' The arm pulled itself back into line with a sickening crack that made Lily blanch, but James just leant over and squeezed the arm where the break had been.

'Looks good to me. Let's get some dittany on that cut and see if we can wake him up.'

Lily had already begun to dab dittany onto Sirius' cut, and was using her other arm to cast a cleansing spell to clear the blood from his eye. James watched as her magic healed his best friend, and observed that she was a great deal gentler than he would probably have been; he briefly wondered if she would be as gentle if it were_ him_, and decided she probably would be. It was against her nature to leave someone in pain, no matter what her feelings towards that person were -it was that sense of empathy that allowed her to be friends with Snape for so long he was sure.

She finished her spells, then lifted his head and looked round for James. He sat down alongside her, leant forward and pinched Sirius nose closed, before pouring the evigilo down his throat.

Lily breath hitched, and she forced herself to focus on keeping it calm and steady. James was leaning across her lap to reach Sirius' face, his back and shoulder brushing against her chest so lightly she almost couldn't feel it, his hip leaning into hers. She spotted a pale scar on the back of his neck that looked almost like a claw-mark, and noticed the individual trails his fingers had left through his hair. She could feel her cheeks growing hotter, could sense the quickening of her pulse as it throbbed in her face; she could smell his soap, a woodsy kind of scent, and underneath that something warmer, more indefinable...

Sirius' eyes slammed open and scanned the room frantically – focusing on James he reached forward and grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt, dragging him towards himself and knocking Lily over backwards before screaming in his face.

'THERE WERE BLOODY DEATH EATERS CRAWLING ALL OVER REMUS' HOUSE! I DON'T THINK ANYONE WAS THERE, BUT THEY WERE SEARCHING THE PLACE, WHEN THEY SAW ME THEY BLEW HIS FUCKING HOUSE UP! THE BLAST KNOCKED ME OVER THE GARDEN WALL, IT TOOK ME THREE TRIES TO APPARATE BACK HERE, I MUCKED IT UP TWICE!'

Having managed to sit back upright, Lily was met with the sight of Sirius yelling into James' face while keeping a death grip on his t-shirt, while James shouted back at him to keep his voice down and tried to untangle himself. Gathering herself together, she struggled forward, grabbed her wand and aimed it directly at Sirius. 'Silencio!'

James had succeeded in pushing Sirius back down onto the sofa and was using his weight to pin him there, but had so far been unsuccessful in getting Sirius to relinquish his grip on his t-shirt, which was beginning to tear. Noticing the slightly shocked look he was giving her, she shrugged. 'Well I couldn't think of a spell that would make him let go of you or shut up, so I settled for drowning out the noise.'

She moved closer and stood behind James – well out of the range of Sirius' arms, should he decide to lunge at her this time, but close enough to smell his soap again – and observed him closely. 'I'd say his head got rattled a bit by the explosion.' She leant closer in over James' shoulder, conscious that she was deliberately bringing her body into contact with him, even by the slightest of brushes, and tried to attract Sirius' attention.

'Sirius! BLACK!' After the second shout he looked wildly round the room then focused on her. 'How close (she brought her hands together)were you (she pointed at him) to the explosion (she mimed yanking her hands quickly away from each other)?

He silently shouted something, and she was pretty sure she made out the words 'fucking' and 'close'. She pulled her wand again and aimed it at his head. 'Episkey.' Sirius relaxed his grip on James and she cancelled her silencing charm. Releasing himself from his entanglement with Sirius, who was shaking his head weakly, he looked up at her.

'What in the name of Merlin and Agrippa just happened?'

'I think the explosion perforated his eardrums, that's why he was shouting; he couldn't hear anything but he thought he was talking completely normally. That's why the egritudo was showing up in his head – it wasn't the cut, it was internal. It would have made him disorientated and off-balance too, which would explain why he had trouble apparating. You should be able to get some sense out of him now.'

He nodded, as if mulling over the words, then turned back to Sirius. 'Padfoot mate? Can you hear me properly?'

'Of course I can bloody hear you, you great berk.' Sirius had his head flung back on the sofa cushions and his hand over his eyes. 'Weren't you listening to me? There were Death Eaters at Moony's house and we have no idea where he is.'

'Well, we'll have to work out a way to find him then won't we? Did you stop at Pete's?'

'Yeah.' Sirius pushed himself upright, groaned then lent forward, resting his forearms on his thighs and stretching his neck from side to side. 'Went there first. He hasn't seen him for a week or two, but he was fine last time he was there. Pete's mum has taken a turn for the worse though, so he can't leave her to help. He's sent owls to a couple of people I wouldn't have thought of though – Longbottom and the Prewetts.'

'Well that's something. At least we know where three of us are, and we've got more people looking now. We'll turn some information up soon.' James looked speculatively at Sirius then shoved him carefully. 'Think you can get your arse up and cleaned up? I'm not sure how Lily feels about it, but the stench of smoke and sweat coming off you is a little ripe for me.'

'Fuck you.'

'Good to have you back.' James stood and offered Sirius a hand, pulling him to his feet, and reaching a long arm around his back to help him balance, pulling Sirius' arm round his shoulders as he supported him. 'Come on then, bath time for you.'

He caught sight of Lily and stopped. 'Oi Padfoot. Say thank you to Lily for fixing you up even though you stink, and you screamed at us _and_ you ripped my t-shirt.'

Sirius looked over his shoulder and gave Lily his best attempt at a grin. 'Thanks Tiger-lily.'

She arched an eyebrow at him. 'Tiger-lily?'

'Yeah. Cause...red you know? And usually angry and ready to maul. But flowery, you know? And pretty, and nice smelling too...'

'Okay, that's enough.' interrupted James. 'We're out of here. Thanks Lily.'

He was looking directly at her and she thought it was the most sincere she'd ever seen him look, as he stood there with his dirty best friend draped across his shoulders, his hair tousled, soot stains on his neck, glasses askew and his shirt torn open at the collar to reveal a peek of his toned chest.

Remembering how his skin had smelled when she'd been that close to him earlier, she was sure she was blushing slightly when she acknowledged his thanks with a faint smile and a nod. As he left the room with Sirius she collapsed back onto the sofa they'd just vacated and, exhausted with the day's events, closed her eyes for a moment and fell immediately asleep.

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	6. Chapter 6 - Truce

**A/N: One of my reviewers was kind enough to point out something that wasn't exactly clear in the last chapter, so for clarification - Sirius knew Remus wasn't at home because the owl couldn't find him so he was checking other places he might be, including Peter's house, and when he still couldn't find him he stopped at his house to see if he'd come back, and that's when he encountered the Death Eaters. Big thanks to _Julie London _for pointing out that it was a bit confusing. Anyhoo, another chapter for you and this one is pure Jily - hope you enjoy.  
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The first thing Lily was aware of was the sound of a fire crackling nearby; the second was the warmth of the blanket that had been tucked round her, and the third was that her whole body felt incredibly stiff and uncomfortable. She carefully stretched out her legs, wincing when she felt her muscles seize as she tried to use them. She sat herself upright, and felt her head take one slow, lazy spin as she tried to orientate herself.

She was still in the library, on the sofa that she'd fallen asleep on after dealing with Sirius earlier, but someone had been in to light a fire and cover her with a blanket - one of the house-elves back from the ministry? As she moved her arms gently, trying to restore some of the feeling to them, the blanket slipped from the sofa and fell to the floor. Reaching to pick it up, Lily realised for the first time that it wasn't a blanket at all; it was a large hooded sweatshirt in red with gold stripes down the sleeves. She turned it over, and felt her breath catch in her throat as she read 'POTTER', and the number 1 printed underneath it.

'You looked cold.'

She jumped as James' voice came from behind her; she turned to face his direction and saw that he was sat in an armchair facing the fire, his body now angled round to face her. Her tongue felt thick and unresponsive but she swallowed and managed to reply. 'Thanks. You should have woken me though, Marly...'

'Is fine.' he interrupted before she could continue. 'Alice went and got some dreamless sleep potion and made her drink it. She took some too and they're both out cold on Marlene's bed. Should be asleep for another seven hours or more based on the dose they took.'

He got up, yawned and stretched his arms out above his head; the movement made his t-shirt ride up, and she caught a glimpse of his bellybutton and the trail of hair leading down from it. Mentally berating herself for the observation – _shouldn't even be looking for Merlin's sake_ – she glanced quickly around the library again, pretending to be taking in her surroundings as he made his way over to her.

'I dosed Padfoot with it too, but a much bigger quantity so we shouldn't be hearing from _him_ until tomorrow morning.' He hesitated before continuing. 'I actually came down to see if I could get you to take any, but you were asleep when I got here, and it seemed incredibly stupid to wake you up to give you something that would make you sleep.' He tried not to think about how she'd looked, how delicate she'd seemed curled up on herself; he couldn't explain to her the little jump his heart had done when he'd found her asleep on the sofa in his house or what had made him take his Quidditch hoodie off and wrap it round her and then stay in the room watching her sleep.

They stood there for a minute, each of them covertly observing the other, trying to puzzle out the other's mood until James eventually broke the silence. 'You know this is probably the longest time we've been in each other's company without fighting since we were eleven.'

Lily's lips curled up into a smile. 'Well, it's the longest time you've gone in my company without being an irritating prat.'

James crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds before looking her directly in the eye and replying carefully. 'On balance, I probably deserve that.'

She wouldn't have been able to deny that she was a little taken aback. As soon as the comment had left her mouth she had realised that it could easily start an argument, and she didn't have the energy or the inclination for one of her and James Potter's famous battles. She was grateful to him for reigning in his temper on this one, but it did leave her feeling slightly guilty. 'I wasn't...I didn't mean it quite how it sounded.'

'Forget it. We've both said plenty worse. I consider any conversation with you where I don't get hexed to be a success.' He smiled as he spoke - though it didn't quite reach his eyes - trying to relax her and diffuse the tension that had settled back on her face; he found he definitely preferred the unguarded way her face looked when she slept, or the slight smile that crept onto her face when she was trying to pretend she wasn't amused by something.

She smiled back at him – it was hesitant but it was genuine he thought. 'Do you want something to eat? I was going to make something for myself anyway.' He hadn't planned to, but assumed that she would never allow someone to cook solely for her benefit.

She nodded and handed him back his hoodie, but he simply flung it onto the sofa and walked towards the doors – she followed him and he opened one for her. She gave him an incredulous look, but he simply smirked at her and bowed her out of the room, with a very Sirius-like flourish.

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Sat in his kitchen, watching as he moved around it, cooking spaghetti and meatballs almost effortlessly, she found herself completely tongue-tied. It seemed bizarre to say the least that he actually seemed to know his way around the kitchen – didn't he say they had house-elves? If you had asked her half an hour ago she would have said that there was no way James Potter had ever cooked for himself in his life, but here he was.

'Everyone has to cook for themselves at some point you know.' His voice interrupted her thoughts. 'And I like to eat, so it seemed easier to just learn how.' He half-turned from his position at the hob to smile at her. 'You didn't realise you said that out loud did you?'

Biting her lip, she shook her head and offered him a sheepish smile.

'I bet most people at Hogwarts wouldn't believe it either.' He continued, while skilfully juggling saucepans and plates. 'But my mother has this terrible habit of forcing our house-elves to take time off, so I had to learn to fend for myself. And for Padfoot, whose terrible habit is setting things on fire.'

Lily took a sip of the pumpkin juice he'd poured her before steeling her spine to converse politely with him and asking the obvious question that had popped up in her mind. 'Your mother gives your house elves time off?'

Even though she could only see the back of his head, she could just tell he was smiling; it was something in his stance that spoke of being totally relaxed and at ease.

'I didn't say give, I said _forces_. They're not too keen on it, and I imagine that they spend a large part of their time away having palpitations about what sort of a state I'm getting the kitchen into, but they go along with it. They think she's bonkers.'

He said all of this quite cheerfully, and he had spoken of both his mother and their house-elves with such obvious affection that – Medea help her – she couldn't help but be a little charmed by it. He crossed the kitchen and placed a bowl of pasta and meatballs in front of her, handing her some cutlery almost as an afterthought then returned to the stove. He came back with his own bowl and a plate of garlic bread which he placed between them.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, both of them careful to only look at their own plates as they ate, each slightly unnerved by the unspoken and somewhat uneasy truce they seemed to have reached today. Lily was first to break the silence, searching for a non-controversial topic. 'You know, this is really good actually. I've never been much for cooking; my mother is a brilliant cook, but she always used to chase me out of the kitchen I was so terrible. My sister isn't bad, but me? Awful. You'd think I'd be good at it since I'm good at potions wouldn't you?'

James smiled at her, amused by her determined effort to make polite conversation with him. 'I suppose they have similarities, but they're still very different things. You wouldn't expect someone to be good at drawing just because they're good at sculpting would you?'

'But most people who are good at one are probably good at the other. Don't most sculptors make sketches to work from?'

James gave a mock sigh of exasperation. 'Fine then, smartypants, different example. People who can play an instrument incredibly well can't necessarily write music. Same subject, different abilities. _What_ are you laughing at?'

Her shoulders had been shaking slightly as she tried to hold in the laughter, but she just couldn't manage it any more. 'I can't believe that you brought art and music into this conversation. I mean Quidditch, yes, I was totally expecting a lecture on the differences between chaser and seeker, but sculpture?' She had to choke her words out past the fit of giggles that was causing her to practically convulse in her chair.

'Hey, I'm cultured!' he protested loudly. 'And I'm not Quidditch obsessed or anything, I have other interests!'

'Your other interests involve enchanting people's water goblets to repel liquids.'

'That was funny! Come on, you're laughing just thinking about it. Keeping the school cheerful is a responsibility that the Marauders take very seriously.'

She finally managed to get a grip on herself and straightened back up in her chair. 'Okay, I will admit that one made me smile quite a lot. And actually your pranks were fewer and much less extreme last year. What changed?'

He stopped his fork in mid-air and focused directly on the patch of table by her left hand before replying. 'Don't laugh.'

'Why would I laugh? What could possibly have convinced you to change your errant ways?'

'Quidditch.' He flicked his eyes over to her face, peering at her from under his eyelashes; she was biting her lip quite hard but he could still see it trembling. 'You're laughing.'

'I'm not, I'm not. I've got hiccups.' She suppressed the giggles that were just bursting to break free. She _never_ giggledat things James Potter said usually – she was one of the very few girls who didn't giggle at _everything_ he said actually - but this evening seemed to be an exception. Putting it down to a form of hysteria caused by the stress of the day, she smiled widely at him. 'Please enlighten me as to how Quidditch – a fine game though it is – caused such a reformation.'

'You are such a terrible liar. And actually it wasn't so much Quidditch itself as being made Captain. I guess...I needed to focus on the team and the Cup, so I didn't have so much free time with nothing to do but cause trouble. And getting endless detentions would have just meant missing practices, maybe even matches. The team depends on me, so I have to, you know, step up.' He paused for a second and grinned at her. 'Sometimes I think that's why Dumbledore gave it to me. He may be absolutely barmy, but he's a good judge of people and he knew just how to get me to grow up a bit.'

Lily's mocking smile had slowly disappeared as he had spoken, and she found herself rendered speechless by the sincerity of his response – she hadn't actually been expecting a genuine answer from him. They had been sat in silence for a moment while her mind frantically scrambled to think of a suitable reply before James spoke again. 'So enough serious questions about my newfound maturity, let's talk about you. I didn't know you had a sister for example. She's not at Hogwarts?'

'No. No, she's not magic. It's stupid isn't it? I mean... What is it in me that makes me a witch and her not?' It was just one of the many things that bothered her about her situation after all.

'Unanswerable question I'm afraid.' Wary of treading on dangerous ground, he tried to steer the conversation to what seemed like a safer topic. 'I always wanted siblings; I was a bit of a shock for my parents actually and they weren't able to have any others. Though we do have Sirius now I suppose. Are you and your sister close?'

'We were. When we were little. Now...not so much.' She signed and pushed her half-eaten meal away from her before leaning back in her chair. 'Petunia hates me.'

'Petunia?' He raised an eyebrow at her.

'My mother's name is Rose, her mother's name was Violet...need I go on?'

'No, please don't. Flower names. I think you got the better end of the broomstick. So what happened? Why don't you get on anymore?'

Lily looked at James who was sat waving his fork in mid-air, elbows braced on the table and his expression neutral. She huffed and decided she might as well tell him, although she was fully expecting a burst of temper. 'Magic happened...and I met Severus.' She watched him freeze for a second at the name, and carried on without waiting for his reaction.

'I started noticing I could...well... DO things – I didn't know what it was of course, but Tuney kept telling me not to. One day at the park I was showing her I could make flowers open just by touching them...and Severus appeared. He told me I was a witch, that it was magic what I was doing. I was offended obviously; a witch isn't a nice thing to be called in the muggle world. But later...I was intrigued. We started spending time together and he explained about Hogwarts and magic...he was the one who told me what I was. Tuney didn't believe it till I got the letter; then she was angry and finally she decided that I was a freak, and she was better off pretending I didn't exist. And that's how it is now. I'm used to it.'

James hadn't moved a muscle while she had been speaking; he was finally able to understand something he'd never been able to puzzle out before; how in Circe's name Lily Evans was friends with Severus Snape. Now he knew; he'd been her guide to magic, and her ally against her sister.

He put his fork down and pushed his bowl to one side. He placed both hands flat on the table in front of him and looked her directly in the eye. 'I need to say I'm sorry. For the Snape thing. You know, at the lake.' He watched her eyes closely, waiting for an indication that she was about to lose her rag with him. 'I'm sorry that I was goading him and he attacked you because of it and you lost your friend.' He sucked in another deep breath and continued. 'But I still think he's a git, and I still think that he would've said something that awful to you eventually... because he thinks that way. That pack of Slytherins, they all do.' He shifted position again, resting his elbows back on the table and pressing his fingertips to his temples. 'What I'm trying to say...badly...is...while I still think you would have seen him for what he is and given up on him eventually, I'm sorry that I made it happen like that. I'm just...sorry.'

She sat motionless for a second, and he wasn't sure she'd registered what he'd said, but then she bit her lip and looked down at her hands, clasped together on the table. Her knuckles were white. 'I asked him once you know. If it would matter that I was muggle-born. He said no.' She laughed, but there was no humour in it and the sound was hollow. 'Things change don't they?'

She looked back up at him. 'I blamed you for a long time but in the end it was all his fault. Not mine, not yours. His. So you don't need to be sorry anymore. But I appreciate the apology.'

He nodded just once, but kept his eyes on her. 'Do you think we could try and be friends this year?' His lips curved into a smile. 'If nothing else, just for the novelty of it. I'll promise not to be a prat if you promise not to hold my prior pratishness against me.'

She snorted a laugh. It was unladylike, and Merlin knew she hadn't felt like laughing a minute ago but she just couldn't help it. She put her right elbow on the table and used rested her head on her hand. 'Okay Potter, truce. I reserve the right to hex you if you're a git.'

'Okay, I reserve the right to tell you you're being prissy.' He mimicked her pose.

'Fine.'

'Okay.'

'Right.'

They were sat like that, faces resting on palms, barely suppressed smirks on their faces for a moment, until an owl flew in through the window and landed between them, causing Lily to shriek and catapult her pasta bowl onto the floor with her flailing hands.

James winced. 'You know, my mother would like it if _some_ of her crockery made it through your visit unscathed.'

Unable to decide whether she was annoyed or mortified, Lily settled for making an obscene gesture at him.

'Didn't know you had it in you Evans. I'll remember to tell Padfoot.' He had successfully freed the note from the owl and ripped it open as she swooped back out of the window. He read the note, a frown appearing on his face as he did so, then he passed it to her. 'It's from Remus.'

_Prongs_

_You won't be able to find me. I'll see you at the funeral. Make up a spare bed. DO NOT reply to this note._

_Moony_

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**So I kinda feel that James needed to change for his own reasons, not just to get close to Lily. I mean, I'm sure wanting her to like him was part of the motivation, but I think he needed to grow up a bit before he'd be able to understand why she didn't like him in the first place. (That sentence made a lot more sense in my head I think.) Anyway, all feedback is welcome, so let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7 - Funeral

**A/N: Hello again Guys and Girls! Quite a lot of sparkling rose wine was consumed during the writing of this chapter, so there's a definite possibility of errors! I think I caught them all in editing, but as always any feedback on grammar, punctuation, continuity etc is appreciated.**

**This could be considered part one of two - I toyed with combining this chapter and the next, but I wanted to get something up for you this weekend and there's no way I would have finished the lot.**

**Also a thank you to _Julie London_ for understanding my rambling authors note on the last chapter, and an extra thank you to _MaryLouise1996_ who I noticed has reviewed every chapter so far! As always, I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read or review. If I could give you guys cookies, I would. XX**

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The day of the McKinnon's funeral was warm and bright. It seemed entirely unreasonable to James, who was standing behind Marlene at the graveside – days this miserable should surely be punctuated by rain and thunder and howling winds. He looked from the back of Marlene's head, where his eyes had been focused for the last ten minutes of the eulogy, to the single headstone that marked the final resting place of her parents and read the epitaph again.

**Cassandra & Emerson McKinnon**

**Taken From Us 10****th**** July 1977**

**"The Last Enemy That Shall Be Defeated Is Death"**

He appreciated the sentiment – hell, he'd want something similar – but he wasn't sure Marlene felt the same way as her parents about this one; she had looked quite shocked when Dumbledore had gently told her that her parents had expressed a wish to have the saying on their gravestone should they pass on, and he was sure that she felt it to be distasteful.

He looked back at her frail form standing upright and proud beside the graves of her only family; Lily was standing on her left holding Marly's hand in hers, and Alice was standing to her right, her head resting on Marly's shoulder and her hand on her back. The three of them had been inseparable for the last three days, and it finally seemed to be doing Marlene some good. She was actually getting up and moving around the house, she was eating – barely – and she was speaking again, though rarely and with very little energy.

It had been a good idea to bring the girls to her, he thought, as he doubted he had the ability to bring her back from her misery single-handed, and it had allowed him the free time to keep Sirius away from her with threats of unspeakable jinxes – he meant well, but Marlene was not in the right state of mind to deal with Sirius Black for the moment.

His musings were interrupted when he realised that the eulogy had finished, and the wizard who had been stood in the front of the gathering had been replaced by Albus Dumbledore. He focused his attention on his Headmaster as he spoke.

'It's a sad day. I don't need to tell any of you how wonderful Emerson and Cassandra were, nor will I try to do justice to their lives in a speech. I will only fulfil a request they once made of me – to have this poem read at their funeral, should the worst happen to them. They hoped that it would bring some comfort to their only daughter, Marlene, whom they loved very much.'

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft star-shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die."

Dumbledore finished his reading and stepped back into the crowd of mourners. There was a moment of perfect silence, when there was no sound but the birds flying overhead. James noticed Lily raise her free hand to her cheek and wipe away a tear before she, Marlene and Alice stepped forward. They raised their wands together and conjured bouquets of stargazer lilies on top of the pale headstone. Marlene placed her hand on the stone for a moment then moved away, her head bowed as her best friends put their arms around her.

The group of mourners began to dissipate, some leaving immediately, others stepping forward to look at the graves and still more gathering into small groups to talk quietly in the summer air. James caught a glimpse of Remus at the back of the crowd – looking round for Sirius, he quickly caught his eye and jerked his head in the direction of Remus. Sirius returned his nod and the two of them moved towards their old friend, James glancing back quickly to check once more on Marlene; instead he caught Lily watching him curiously as he moved away from the girls. He knew the second she had caught sight of Remus as an unmistakable flash of relief passed across her face, and she glanced at James once more before turning back to her friends.

'Mate, we were so bloody worried about you, where the hell have you been? Marauders don't ditch other Marauders!' Sirius had punched Remus in the arm twice before James arrived to usher them to a more respectful distance from the funeral party, raising his hand in apology at the people nearest them who were looking slightly scandalised.

'If you'd stop hitting me for a second and keep your voice down I'd tell you! You can't punch people at a funeral.'

'I punched Reg at Uncle Alphard's funeral. Best thing I did this year. Broke his nose.'

'Yeah, but your family are all headcases.' James cut in. 'And if you'd keep your violent tendencies under control for two minutes, I'd like to hear what happened to Moony.'

He raised an eyebrow at Sirius, who sulkily folded his arms but shut up and turned to look at Remus.

'Dumbledore turned up at my house the night Marlene's parents were killed; he said we had to leave straight away, we couldn't even pack. We took a portkey away – according to Kingsley, the Death Eaters turned up less than half an hour later. There were a load of aurors waiting for them though, so they disapparated pretty quick. **_I_** don't even know where I've been for the last few days, we've moved three times; even getting that note to you was a bugger to arrange.'

'How did Dumbledore know they were coming after your family Moony?' James asked, his frown deepening with every troubling thought that was passing through his mind.

'Not sure. He said he'd got a Death Eater to talk, but he wouldn't be any more specific than that. My parents are staying in hiding though. They're abroad somewhere; I don't even know which country.'

'What about you?' Sirius asked. 'You're a marauder! Are we not going to see you all summer while you hop around Europe with your parents?'

'Well...I did ask Prongs here to make up a spare room for me.' Said Remus with a quiet grin. 'Dumbledore says I can stay with you while my parents are in hiding. As long as you'll have me that is.'

'Always room for one more Moony.' James answered with a grin, clapping Remus on the shoulder.

'You'd think your house had enough Gryffindors in it already Potter. Still I suppose one more can't hurt.' Lily's voice came from behind him, and the mocking but friendly tone in her voice had Remus' eyebrows rising so high up his forehead they nearly disappeared into his hairline.

She gave James a friendly shove to one side so she could get past him to hug Remus. 'Glad you're okay.' She stepped back and turned to James. 'Marlene's ready to go. I think if anyone else tells her how sorry they are she might lose it.'

'Okay then, we'll go now.' He pulled a long wooden ruler out of his pocket and started to make his way back to where Alice and Marlene were stood.

Lily fell into step with him, Sirius and Remus walking behind. He could almost fell them watching his and Lily's every move and he had to concentrate hard to make sure he didn't lean towards her as the slight breeze carried the coconut scent of her hair to him.

'I've been meaning to ask' Lily began 'why didn't we just apparate to and from here? It would have been much less trouble than your dad getting permission for you to make portkeys and everything.'

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and couldn't help but smile. She was looking at him as she walked, seemingly not needing to look where she was going, and the breeze was lifting her hair slightly, tendrils dancing round her face.

'You can't apparate in or out of our property like that, it's warded. One of the benefits of old family houses – they have incredible layers of protection.'

'That doesn't make sense' she protested. 'We apparated into your garden the day you came to get me.'

'Yeah we did. Because I can. I'm a Potter. The house lets me in, it...recognises my magical signature. Like a fingerprint.'

'What about Sirius?' He apparated in and out that same day.' She seemed determined to find a loophole in this.

'That's a bit more complicated.' He took one look at her mutinous facial expression and sighed. 'Fine. The property wards are...empathetic. They allow recognised members of the Potter family in and out. And...Sirius is part of our family. When he moved in with us, the enchantments recognised it and altered to include him. It's a very old type of magic and it has an enormous advantage in that it's not bound by the laws of the current government, it's bound by family ties instead. Make sense?' He reached out and tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear as he finished speaking. She nodded quickly, and his lips twitched as he realised again how nervous their truce made her.

There was a polite cough behind them, followed by the loud and obnoxious clearing of a throat. They both turned to see Remus trying to hide a smile and Sirius smirking at them. They hadn't even realised they'd stopped walking, hadn't registered that they had reached where Alice and Marly stood. James held the ruler out and tapped it with his wand; the others all touched it with a finger, and as it glowed blue the world compressed and span around them.

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They landed in the large hallway of the Potter's house, some of them more gracefully than others; James, Sirius and Marlene were stood looking down at Remus, Lily and Alice who were on the floor in various unflattering positions. James tried his hardest not to look at Lily's legs where her dress had ridden up, but he failed miserably. He offered her his hands and pulled her upright - Sirius doing the same for Alice - and Remus had already pulled himself to his feet, muttering all the while under his breath about the unreliability of portkeys and the superiority of every other form of travel. A giggle echoed round the quiet hallway and the five of them froze for a second, before turning to look at Marlene McKinnon, who was watching them and smiling faintly.

Lily turned her head back and smiled at James, a smile more of relief than actual happiness, and James let go of her hands to take one of Marlene's. 'Come on. I think we need a drink.'

He led the way to the kitchen, holding Marlene's hand every step of the way, and she moved with more of a spring in her step than she had all week. The other four followed, the two boys more or less oblivious to the importance of what had just happened and the two girls almost paralysed with relief.

They arrived in the kitchen and spread out; Alice, Lily and Remus sat at the table, Sirius perched on the countertop and Marlene just leant against the wall. James got out six tumblers and a bottle of firewhiskey, sloshing a measure that made Lily and Remus wince into each glass. He passed them out and held his up. He racked his brains for something suitable to say, but was saved by an interruption from Marlene.

'To a really shit day being over at last.'

She had straightened up from her leaning pose and was staring at the far wall, making eye contact with no –one. She threw down her firewhiskey in one quick swallow, and her eyes watered before she sagged back against the wall. There was an uncomfortable moment of silence which was eventually broken by Alice. 'Well, I'll drink to the that. A truly shit day.' She swallowed her firewhiskey so easily that Lily was a little shocked.

The rest of them followed her example and raised their glasses before draining them. The room settled back into uncomfortable silence until Marlene jerked her body away from the wall and made her way over to James. She pulled the bottle of firewhiskey away from him and refilled her glass with an even more generous measure than he had originally given her. She drank it quickly and – still carrying both bottle and glass – made her way over to the table where she sat next to Lily.

'It's my fault.' It was little more than a whisper that Lily had to strain to hear. She reached out to place a hand on Marlene's arm. 'Sweetheart, no part of this is your fault. You can't blame yourself for it – it's that deranged maniac and his band of psychopaths.' She rubbed her hand soothingly up and down Marlene's arm and turned pleading eyes on the others.

James came to her rescue, moving to the other side of Marlene and sitting down. He picked up her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze – she turned to look at him and he wiped a tear away from her cheek. 'She's right Mar. There's nothing you could have done differently that would have saved them.'

'You don't understand.' Marlene looked down at the table, at James' hand covering hers. 'You don't understand.' She took a deep shuddering breath and turned to Lily. 'He killed them...because I said no.'

Lily's eyes flicked to James whose baffled expression probably mirrored her own, and he gave a tiny shrug and a frantic hand gesture that she imagined was supposed to mean that she should keep her talking. She made eye contact with Marlene again and tried to encourage her to say what was on her mind. 'I don't understand Marly. What did you say no to? What makes you think you could have changed this?'

'I...Last term one of the Slytherins cornered me at the Quidditch pitch after training when you'd all gone. He said...he said the Dark Lord needed pure bloods, that I should pick the right side. I told him to er...well I told him to go shag a horntail actually.' James couldn't help but feel a little burst of pride in his cousins strength of conviction, and a healthy appreciation of her ability to turn an insult, but he kept his face carefully neutral as she continued.

'He said I ought to be careful, that the Dark Lord didn't like to be refused, especially when he was making such a generous offer. He said...refusing would mean unpleasant consequences for me...and for my family.'

Lily had continued to rub Marlene's arm as soothingly as possible, but her insides felt like they were being squeezed. James had frozen, his knuckles turning white as he tightened his grip on Marlene's hand. Sirius has stopped kicking his feet against the counter and he and Alice wore identical looks of appalled sympathy. Remus, however, had his head in his hands; after a tense moment he looked up at Marlene and his face was the palest any of them had ever seen it.

'Someone spoke to me too. A couple of weeks ago. Same sort of thing – vague offer of "helping the cause", then some threats if I didn't. Though I have to say my response wasn't nearly as snappy as Marlene's.'

To the surprise of everyone in the room – possibly including herself – Marlene snorted a laugh at that. James gave her hand another gentle squeeze, then spoke. 'Who was it Mar? Who threatened you?'

'Rosier. The fucking Head Boy.' She choked the name out. James glanced at Remus who nodded once in confirmation.

'Bloody hell.' Sirius breathed the words out. 'The fuckers are recruiting _kids_. They're using Hogwarts as a recruiting ground.'

The room settled back into stunned silence, which was eventually broken by James, whose face had taken on a hard, determined expression.

'Then I say we should start doing the same.'

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**A/N: So...I'm sorry to leave it on what could be considered a slight cliffhanger, but it just seemed like the appropriate place for the chapter break. I will do my very best to post the second half as soon as possible, it should be a little shorter than this one so hopefully I'll be able to get it up by midweek. Maybe that'll stop you guys from being too mad at me :)**


	8. Chapter 8 - Decisions

**A/N:This chapter is more or less the second half of the last one; I'm not as happy with it as I have been with some of the others actually, but it kind of sets out how everyone feels about things so it's necessary. Let me know what you think.**

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The kitchen was completely silent again for a moment while James' words sank in. Sirius was the first one to speak, turning to face Remus as he did.

'I think it's the weight of all that hair. It's been pulling down on his brains and it's finally turned them into mush.'

'I'm serious.' James' voice was low and calm, and all the more effective for it. 'We can't let them bully and terrorise schoolkids into making terrible mistakes. We have to do something about it... no-one else is going to.' There was a ring of authority to his voice that Lily had never heard before - Sirius recognised it as the voice he used to bully and cajole his Quidditch team in the locker room- but she could see the effect it was having on the others. They were watching him with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

'Okay Prongs.' Remus' spoke as quietly as always, but he leant forward across the table towards his friend with an odd sort of intensity. 'Why don't you clear up the confusion and tell us what you have in mind?'

James pushed his chair away from the table and leant it back on two legs. He glanced at each of the five people sitting around his kitchen table until his gaze came to rest on Lily. She quirked an eyebrow at him and then placed her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand, exactly the way she had last time they had sat at this table together. Remembering the conversation they had then gave him the confidence to speak his mind openly and honestly.

'What's the main advantage the Death eaters have?'

Alice snorted and reached for the bottle of firewhiskey. Refilling her glass with a recklessness that made Lily's eyes widen she answered. 'The fact they are a bunch of totally depraved nutters who have no problem with using forbidden dark magic to achieve their ends?' She sipped her firewhiskey and scowled at James.

'Thanks for the insight Alice, but that isn't exactly what I was getting at.'

'They're united behind a common aim – to screw over the rest of us.' Marlene's voice was croaky, but it was still stronger than it had been for days.

James squeezed her hand briefly and smiled at her. 'I always knew you were the smart one.'

'Okay...' Sirius spoke now. 'So you think we need to unite people behind a common goal...but what do we do? Start a We-Hate-Voldemort club? I'm not sure we'd get that many takers mate. It's one thing not to actually support him, but most people would probably shy away from openly opposing him.'

'You're missing the point Padfoot, I'm not suggesting we do anything openly. I'm saying we do what they do. Death Eaters all know who the other Death Eaters are right? They know who they can trust, but the rest of us have no clue whose loyalties lie with who. I'm saying that we get together a group of people who all know they can trust each other to counter them; I'm not suggesting that we give out badges or take out an announcement in the Daily Prophet.'

For a moment the room was quiet again as everyone absorbed James' point; the only sound was the sloshing of liquid as Sirius refilled everyone's glasses. Lily placed her hand over hers to stop him but he simply lifted her fingers off and filled it anyway. She huffed disapprovingly but picked up the glass anyway before turning to James.

'What exactly is the purpose of this group going to be? Because I for one will not be running around after curfew cursing every Slytherin that crosses my path, and I'm sure Remus and I do not want to catch any of you doing it either.'

'Seconded.' Remus raised his glass to her and inclined his head.

'I'm not suggesting that. Bloody hell Lil, do you remember any of our conversation the other day? I'm past jinxing people just because they're Slytherins. With a few noteworthy exceptions.'

Ignoring the confused glances of the others Lily raised her hand in apology and gestured at him to continue speaking.

'The point of the group would be to stop Voldemort doing what he is at the moment and picking us off one by one. We'll be able keep an eye on each other and everyone else at school who's caught in the middle of this. We'll practise defensive magic together so people can protect themselves and their families better –older students can help the younger ones - and we'll always be able to turn to each other for help knowing that we aren't speaking to a bloody Death Eater!'

'I have to say he has a point.' Remus looked grim, but his voice was steady. 'People are scared to ask for help or to speak out because they don't know the loyalties of the people around them. They are scared to turn Voldemort down because they don't know what will happen if they do. If we can offer them an alternative, a level of protection...we could seriously harm his recruitment rate.'

'But we can still hex Slytherins right?' Sirius looked genuinely worried about that point.

'If they deserve it.' replied Remus, his mouth set in a crooked grin. He and Sirius laughed and high-fived each other.

'Can you two be serious for more than a minute at a time?' demanded Alice. 'We are talking about possibly putting ourselves in direct opposition to probably the most dangerous dark wizard to ever exist and you're being a pair of prize idiots!' Alice leant back in her seat, sloshing her firewhiskey over the sides of her glass in temper.

'Just pointing out that there are still many wonderful things to be enjoyed in life Ally, even when said dark wizard is hovering over Hogwarts like a vulture.' Sirius flashed a cheeky grin, and James prudently decided to re-take control of the conversation before an actual fight broke out.

'So we'd keep it small at first. Secrecy is THE main thing, so we'd only ask people we're positive we can trust.' He looked round at the others. 'No-one else gets told unless we all agree to tell them. I think there are a few obvious ones to start with – Frank and Peter, Mary and Emma.' He paused and waited for any reactions; the rest of the group were silent, but they were all still looking at him intently. Deciding that their focus meant they had no objections he continued. 'From there, we just keep an eye. Anyone you're friends with who seems likely, anyone who seems to be getting a hard time from the Slytherins we consider speaking to. Age and house are irrelevant, because they'll be irrelevant to him.'

He made eye contact with Sirius and said pointedly 'No-one does anything without the agreement of the group. The point is to be a unit in opposition to Voldemort, not a collection of individuals.'

Lily shifted uneasily in her seat and her fingers toyed nervously with her glass. 'I can't believe I'm about to say this...but I think it's a good idea. People would feel much more secure if they felt part of a group. I mean, we're lucky enough to have a group of friends that we can trust, but other people aren't. And when we've left Hogwarts, we'll know we're leaving behind younger students who will be able to take care of themselves and stop those bloody idiots ruling the corridors with fear of You-Know-Who.' She paused to try and gauge the reactions of the others before continuing. 'And rather than just trying to persuade the people the Death Eaters will be targeting...I know the main idea is to stop them using Hogwarts as a recruiting ground, but we should cast our net a bit wider. Specifically, we should try to reach out to muggle-borns as well.'

The others were quiet for a moment. Lily could see that James was surprised by her approval of his plan, his face openly showing that he had been expecting a much harder fight to get her onside; the others seemed to have a similar feeling of surprise that Lily Evans, Prefect Extraordinaire was backing this idea.

Surprisingly it was Sirius who spoke up next – he had obviously been considering what Lily had said, and she felt a brief flare of surprise that he'd been paying attention. 'She's right you know. Muggle-borns aren't going to be targets for recruitment, but they are going to be targets for a lot of abuse and they come from homes which don't have magical protection, so their families will be far worse off than magical ones. Plus there's much more likelihood that they will be willing to listen; I mean they've got nothing to lose have they? There's no possibility that they'll be left alone if they just keep their heads down. I reckon that's what a lot of pure and half bloods are thinking, bloody cowards.'

'Prefects too.' Remus took everyone by surprise with this cryptic statement. Noting the blank looks directed his way he elaborated. 'We should try and get as many prefects as possible in. They're _officially sanctioned_ to snoop around after hours and keep an eye on things. No-one can stop us from interfering in situations. And other members of the group will have an easier job sneaking around when necessary if they know that the prefects are, uh, sympathetic.'

Every eye turned to Lily, obviously waiting for the explosion of temper that was sure to come at the suggestion that they should deliberately undermine school discipline. Instead she gave a one shoulder shrug. 'Good idea if you ask me. Prefects would be able to do a lot to help if they were with us. We definitely don't want them against us, so we should make an effort to persuade them.'

The relief around the table was almost palpable. Sirius grinned widely and barked a laugh. 'Who knew that one week in Prongs' house was all it would take to turn you into a female version of him?' Lily jerked her arm in a rude gesture as a response, and he laughed so hard he almost fell off the counter.

'So we're actually going to do this?' Marlene asked suddenly. 'We're going to try and do something to stop this happening to anyone else?' She was sat up straight, her eyes alert, and for more or less the first time that week, Lily saw something positive in Marly's face.

James put an arm round her and looked at her soberly. 'Yeah Marly, I think we are.' He planted a gentle kiss on her temple and gave her a quick squeeze, before removing his arm and leaning forward, elbows on the table.

'Okay everyone, we need to think about how we're going to do this. Two rules I think we all need to agree on before we do anything else. First of all, nobody writes anything down – no mentioning it in letters, no writing about it in your diary. Second, we don't say anything about this to anyone who isn't in this room right now unless we all agree. Everyone on board with those?'

James paused and waited for agreement; everyone around the table nodded solemnly, and he took that as an invitation to continue. 'We have six weeks give or take before we go back, we can start putting some things in place now. We need to know who is likely to be working for Voldemort, so we start by trying to work out who Rosier was mixing with before he left; he had to hand over the reins to somebody. There are a few obvious people whose names go on that list. We'll keep an eye on them – try not to leave them unobserved with other students. Hopefully they'll be scared enough of Dumbledore to be cagey about their approaches.'

'That raises an interesting question though don't you think?' Alice had finished her firewhiskey and was spinning the empty glass round on the table. She looked up at James and made sure he was listening before she continued. 'Do you think we're going to be able to do this without Dumbledore noticing? Or McGonagall?'

Unsurprisingly Sirius was the one to answer. 'Well, Rosier was a thick git and he seemed to manage it alright. We're smarter than he is; we have ways of sneaking around he can only dream of. Besides, I reckon even if he did find out Dumbledore would turn a blind eye as long as we weren't hurting anybody and we don't openly flout school rules; he hates Voldemort and all the pure-blood mania too.'

Remus nodded his agreement. 'I wouldn't be at all surprised. He may or may not approve of the methods, but he definitely approves of the sentiments.'

James cut in again. 'Anyway, as well as keeping an eye on the Death Eater wannabes, we need to try and research and practice defensive charms and techniques, things we can use against them if necessary. Lil?'

Lily was startled by the way everyone had suddenly turned to look at her, and she felt herself nervous under the weight of everyone's observation. 'Me? What?'

James laughed at her obviously flustered state. 'You're the research queen, and you're probably the best of us at charms. Will you have some time over the rest of the summer to see if you can dig out useful stuff? Protective enchantments for muggle dwellings might be especially good.'

'Well I'll have loads of time, but no books James! Where do you expect me to _find_ that kind of information?'

'You can raid our library and take whatever you need home with you. I'll try and get as much DADA stuff out of Dad as possible too, hopefully it will be enough to start, and once we're at Hogwarts we have the library and the professors as sources. Then we start looking for people who are interested in learning to protect themselves.'

'Okay enough talking, we all know we're doing this, details can wait!' Sirius' voice was loud and shocking in the quiet kitchen. 'Let's have more drinks, and Prongs can make lunch, he looks adorable in an apron!'

'Sod off Padfoot, you make lunch if you're hungry!'

'You're the only one who can cook!'

'That doesn't mean I bloody well have to!'

Lily leant back in her chair, listening to the bickering voices of her friends echoing round the room, and wondered what the hell she let herself in for by agreeing to this.

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**A/N: So... I was thinking about how James & Lily would feel about Hogwarts being influenced by Voldemort, and I think they would have reacted in a very similar way to how Harry responded to Umbridge taking control of the school; after all, everyone always tells Harry he's like his parents. So I had the idea that they would start a group to fight back, similar to Dumbledore's Army. _Super Cara, _you pretty much spotted where I was going with this last chapter, so kudos to you.**


	9. Chapter 9 - Mirror

**A/N: Late update, I know. Bad me. But you see, I had tonsillitis last week and the doctor gave me several prescriptions which, being the good girl I am, I took religiously. At some point, under the influence of said drugs, I decided that it would be a good idea to write and edit the next few chapters of TT. Well. Those particular chapters will never see the light of day. Drugs are bad kids. Just say no. **

**Unfortunately, this set me back a week or so in writing, as well as at work, so I've only just caught up. Anyway, here is Chapter 9, somewhat later than anticipated. Thanks for bearing with me guys, and Chapter 10 is being edited now so the next update should be middle of the week. Much love x**

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Glancing at the clock, Lily sighed and then heaved another pile of books out of her trunk and onto the floor of her bedroom. 10 pm, and she'd barely made a dent. She'd arrived home early that morning, but had been so busy catching up with her mum that she hadn't found time to sort her trunk until now. Thanks to the undetectable extension and weightlessness charms that James and Remus had managed to cast on it she'd been able to pack in a fair number of books from the Potter's library, and was only now beginning to realise that there was no way she was going to fit them neatly in her bedroom. It hadn't looked like there'd been that many when she was packing them, why in Godric's name had she brought so many with her?

Damn James Potter that was why. '_What about this one Lil?' 'Hey, this has got disillusionment charms in, you'll need this one!'_ '_Just take as many as you want Evans.' _

'Of course, it would never occur to the rich boy that some of us don't have gigantic family mansions to keep all this stuff in would it? Nooo. Why would it?'

Lily continued to mutter under her breath, leaning so far into her trunk as she desperately reached for things buried at the bottom that she had completely failed to notice her mother watching her progress from the doorframe until she coughed. Lily straightened up so fast she hit her head on the lid of the trunk and would have fallen over if she hadn't already been kneeling on the floor. Her mother raised her eyebrows at the sight of the piles of books surrounding her daughter and picked her way through them until she could sit on the bed.

'So, this James Potter you were staying with...you haven't really mentioned him before.'

Lily had resumed her search in the bottom of her trunk, and was grateful that she wasn't looking at her mother when she spoke. 'Haven't I? Well I don't know him all that well. He's Marly's friend more than mine.'

'Hmm. But he's in your year isn't he? And he's in Gryffindor?'

Lily sighed and straightened up. Evidently there was no way of evading this conversation. She should have known it was too good to be true when her mother hadn't broached the topic during their catch-up earlier. 'Yes, he's a Gryffindor, and we're in the same year, but we don't really know each other well. We've never been friends exactly.'

'Why not? I mean, if he's friends with Marly, surely you all spend time together?'

'Well, sort of...but not really. It's kind of complicated.' Taking a look at her mother's stubborn face – an expression she knew appeared on her own quite regularly – she took a deep breath and prepared for an in-depth mother-daughter conversation. 'James and his friends...well they're kind of the school pranksters, they like to play practical jokes, and I don't usually appreciate their sense of humour. And I'm a prefect too, so I've spent a lot of time shouting at him over the years.'

She sat down on the floor with a thump, giving up the pretence of searching through her trunk. 'And he and Severus hate each other. They're constantly getting at each other, and I kind of had to pick a side. Picked the wrong one as it turns out, but James isn't a grudge holder apparently.' She twined her fingers around each other, a nervous habit she'd never quite been able to break herself of. 'Anyway, none of that stuff matters anymore, we're both over it. We're trying to get along better.'

'Well that sounds...very mature of you both dear. He can't be a bad person if he's doing so much for Marlene, so it's good that you're giving him a second chance.' She paused and looked at her daughter, but Lily's expression gave nothing away; she stood up and moved towards the door, sure that she wouldn't get anything further from her younger daughter. 'Don't stay up too late with these...what _are_ all these books Lil?'

Lily laughed as she took in the stacks of books in her small bedroom. 'They're some advanced reading for classes I'm taking next year. James lent them to me from his family library. I'm going to have to find a way to take them back this summer though, because I am _not_ dragging them on the Hogwarts Express with me!'

Rose Evans gave her daughter an odd look before stepping through the door and closing it behind her, leaving Lily once again alone with her books. The task before her seemed almost insurmountable now, and she hadn't realised quite how tired she was until she stopped to talk with her mother. Although it went against all her neat and tidy instincts Lily left everything where it was and collapsed face first on the bed.

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Her sleep was less than restful. The Dark Mark wove through her dreams, always appearing in places she knew well, but no matter how fast she ran she could never get to them, and visions of her friends injured kept intruding into her dreams, causing her to toss and turn so much she became entangled in her sheets. Finally she woke with a start, body still twisted up in her sheets, images of James showing her the Dark Mark burnt into his left arm still searing in her mind, his name on her lips.

Shaking off her bad night's sleep, Lily rolled out of bed and headed for an early shower; she felt the stress in her shaken limbs ease a little under the flow of the hot water. _Nerves, it's just nerves and stress. No reason to worry. None of my friends are hurt. And James...James will never be a Death Eater. He just won't._

The banging on the bathroom door made her jump far more than it should have done, testament to her still shredded nerves. 'Are you trying to drown yourself in there? It's a shared bathroom Lilikins, hurry up!' Her father's voice was loud and his annoyance obviously exaggerated, and the sheer normalcy of the moment did more to relax Lily than a hundred showers could have done. Jumping out of the shower and wrapping herself in towel and dressing gown, she threw open the bathroom door and hugged her father whose fist was still raised as he prepared to begin another round of banging. Leaving him open-mouthed she darted back to her bedroom and shut the door firmly behind her, and he began to seriously wonder about the sanity of his teenage girls as he entered the bathroom.

She dressed quickly and pulled her still wet hair into a messy braid over her shoulder. Standing in the middle of her room, hands fisted on her hips, she took in the mess she had abandoned yesterday evening. For some reason the enormous piles of books that had sent her into despair then made her giggle uncontrollably now. She lifted a fist to her mouth and bit down, trying to stifle the laughter that wanted to break out. She'd gone mad obviously. One week in James Potter's bloody ridiculous house and she'd gone loopy. Deciding that coffee was the answer to all her problems – who says coffee _doesn't_ cure insanity – she headed to the kitchen and was back five minutes later, incredibly strong black coffee in hand, giggles successfully suppressed by the croissant stuffed in her mouth.

Deciding that a logical, thorough approach was best, Lily assessed the situation. The obvious thing to do, she decided, was to completely empty the trunk out onto her bedroom floor. Then she could see just how bad the situation was, and deal with it appropriately. Pleased with her clearheaded thinking, Lily wandered over to her trunk and knelt down in front of it. Cursing herself for not being able to think of a charm that would just make the trunk disgorge its contents on the floor, she settled down to do it the muggle way.

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Half an hour of flinging whatever she laid her hands on over her shoulder later, Lily could feel the bottom of the trunk. He room now resembled a disaster zone, but the important thing was the bloody trunk was empty. Triumphantly grabbing the last item in there, Lily pulled it out with a flourish and sat back with it on her lap, leaning against the warm radiator as she took in the catastrophe that had formerly been her bedroom. She hadn't realised how much her body had stiffened up as she'd been kneeling on the floor. Stretching her legs out in front of her she winced as the tingling of pins and needles raced over them, and her eye fell on the last item to leave the trunk, still resting on her lap.

From the feel of it, it was something flat and rectangular, and it was the size of a smallish book, but it had been bundled up in red material. She turned it over in her hands, completely unable to remember packing anything like this. She unwrapped the material and felt her jaw drop as she saw gold stripes and the familiar 'POTTER' emblazoned on it, and recognised it as the hooded sweatshirt he had covered her with that day in the library. As it had fallen away it had revealed the mystery item to be a silver-framed mirror, with a folded piece of parchment tucked into the frame. She propped the mirror up against her knees and opened the parchment.

_Lily,_

_I was thinking that you might need to contact me over the summer since you said you get a bit out of touch with the wizarding world, and we'd said we wouldn't put anything important in the Owl post. I know you can't apparate yet – not that you could apparate to my house even if you could – and I did think about having your house connected to the floo network but that would just make it too easy for other people to find you. So this was the best I could come up with. _

_It's a two way mirror, one of a pair. I have the other. If you need to speak to me, you just look in your mirror and say my name; I'll appear in your mirror and you'll appear in mine. It's totally secure, no-one can overhear or intercept it. I know you probably won't approve of this, but Padfoot and I use them when we're in separate detentions, so we know they work. You can use a shrinking charm and carry it with you if you want, it will still work, although you'll need to return it to full size to speak to me. _

_I know you're probably mad that I snuck this into your trunk, but I was fairly sure that you'd put up a fight if I tried to give it to you in person._

_Be safe_

_James_

_PS. The hoodie is in case you get cold again. Freezer. _

Lily read the letter twice, eyes wide with disbelief. He'd remembered that she would be on her own in the muggle world unable to see any of them while he, Marly, Sirius and the rest of them were all in close contact with each other; he was genuinely, sincerely worried about her. Her eyes kept returning to the same two words, time and again – _be safe_.

She looked at the mirror propped up in her lap and without stopping to think about what she was doing she whispered his name. 'James?'

The mirror went cloudy for a minute then cleared to reveal the smiling face of Sirius Black. 'Tiger-Lily! You found the mirror then. How are you my pretty?'

'Sirius? I..the note said that the mirror would show me James.'

'Yeah, normally it would, but James has left the mirror momentarily unattended in his room, so you get me instead.' He noted that the confused and sceptical look she had been wearing had become a slight frown. _A-ha!_ An even bigger grin spread across his face. 'Actually, he's showering. I can pass the mirror in to him if it's urgent?'

'No!' She all but shouted the word. Her nerves were definitely not up to seeing a wet, semi-naked James Potter at this hour of the morning. She wasn't sure her nerves would _ever_ be up to seeing a wet, semi-naked James Potter, though her mind did briefly wonder how many teenage girls at Hogwarts went to sleep imagining it. 'I just read the note and wanted to make sure I could make the mirror work. You know, if I ever needed to.'

'Sure, of course. All in the spirit of magical experimentation. _I understand_. James will be happy that you've worked it out anyway.' He paused for a moment, and then decided he might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and carried on. 'Do me a favour would you Tiger-Lily, and write to him now and again? It doesn't have to be anything special, just let him know you're okay. He worries.'

'He worries?' Bloody Merlin, why did her pulse have to do that little stutter again when she heard that? _Be safe...'_About me?'

'Of course about you! You're his friend now after all. Aren't you?'

She heard the sarcastic edge to his voice, and immediately found herself on the defensive. 'Of course I'm his friend! Of course I'll write to him, just like I do Marly and Remus, and maybe even you if you're lucky Black! I just...didn't realise that he would think about me when I'm not there, that's all.'

Sirius snorted. 'Oh, believe me Evans, he does. And believe me when I say that you should probably be glad you're not present when he's thinking certain thoughts about you...'

'Thank you, Sirius, I think we've exhausted the possibilities of this conversation. How do I stop talking to you?'

Sirius flashed his trademark cocky grin at her again. 'Just let go of your mirror. Once you've stopped touching it the glass in both will cloud over again.'

'Thank you.' She started to move her hand, then paused. 'Say hello to James for me. And could you tell him that..tell him I would have put up a fight, but I'm not mad at him. Tell him I said thank you.'

'Sure. Will he understand what I'm telling him?'

She smiled at the confusion on Sirius' face. 'Yeah, I think he will. He might even explain it to you. Bye Sirius.' She let go of the mirror, placing it gently down on the floor alongside her. A shiver ran through her as she realised that the heating had long gone off and the radiator behind her was cold; rubbing her hands up and down her arms for warmth, she was about to stand and go to her wardrobe for a jumper when she realised that James' hoodie was still in her lap. She picked it up hesitantly, then slipped it on, rationalising it as being far more efficient to wear something that was already here than to go searching her already messy room for something.

She stood up and scanned the room, feeling suddenly energised. The obvious thing to do – really, how had she not realised it before – was to use her trunk with its expansion and weightlessness charms as a kind of mobile library! She could pile all the books in there and then everything else would fit in her bedroom as normal. The trunk could be moved around as she needed, and she would just have to root through it when she wanted to use the books; although she was pretty sure a quick accio charm would work if she knew which book she wanted. Thrilled with her logical solution to a problem she set to work, levitating the books back into the trunk until the only things left on the floor were her own belongings. Almost. She walked over to the radiator and picked up the mirror. She looked at it for a moment, then quickly turned to her bed and set it down on her pillow, before leaning down for an armful of clothes.

When her mother knocked on her door a few hours later, Lily's room was almost back to normal. Rose Evans put her head around the door and observed her younger daughter's spellwork as she used smoothing charms on her clothes as she put them away. She took in Lily's choice of outfit and pursed her lips as she considered her course of action. 'Lunch is ready dear, are you coming down? Tuney has gone out so it's just me and your father.'

Lily turned her head to smile at her mother. 'Of course. I'll just do this one shirt and I'll be down.'

'Good. We still have so much to catch up on. Like when you changed your surname to Potter.'

Rose had shut the door before Lily had even had time to spin around. Her brain ran in circles as she stared at the closed door and tried to work out what on earth her mother was talking about, until she looked down and realised that she was still wearing James' Quidditch hoodie.

'Oh bugger. Bloody, buggering hell.'

There was no way that her mother would not have made the connection between James and the hoodie, and Lily knew there was no way to avoid the impending conversation. Wincing slightly, she straightened her back, reminded herself of the legendary courage of Gryffindors and headed downstairs to try and explain to her over-excited mother a friendship that she didn't exactly understand herself.

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	10. Chapter 10 - Conversations

**A/N: So, Microsoft Word has chosen today to mess me around, so I had to find a _very_ creative workaround to get this posted (my boyfriend laughed like hell). Hopefully it hasn't messed up the formatting too much, but it may look a little funky. On the plus side, Chapter 11 is written and is currently being edited, so the next update isn't too far away. **

**Disclaimer-that-I-have-forgotten-to-do-on-several- chapters: This may come as a shock, but I am not J K Rowling; she owns James and Lily, I merely 'ship them.**

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Lily paused outside the kitchen door, mentally rehearsing possible answers that might derail her mother's questioning. _Fat chance of that though_, she thought, remembering the interrogation that Petunia had endured the first time she had mentioned Vernon to her parents. The Soviet Secret Police would have been _thrilled_ to have Rose Evans in their team; the woman had the same sense for evasions and lies that a Great White had for blood, and she was probably more ruthless in pursuit too.

And this could only be worse than Tuney's grilling; Tuney had just come home and told her parents that a boy she'd met had asked her out to dinner. _Lily_ had spent the last week at the house of a boy that she'd known for six years but had previously barely mentioned to them, and had just been spotted wearing what was obviously his sweater. This could only end badly - _Say nothing, deny everything, and make counter accusations -_ the military didn't know how right they were. Gritting her teeth, she set her face in her very best 'innocent' expression and pushed open the kitchen door.

She knew immediately by the disapproving look on her father's face that whatever intelligence her mother had gathered had been shared with her husband. Feigning total ignorance, she joined them round the kitchen table. 'Hi Dad. Sorry about hogging the bathroom this morning.'

'Hmmm.' William Evans narrowed his eyes as he looked at his daughter over the top of his newspaper. He knew his girls, and he knew damn well when one of them was being deliberately nonchalant. If she thought that was going to deter her mother, he'd obviously put too much faith in her intelligence; Rose had bent his ear all morning about James Potter, whoever the hell he was, and he was prepared to bet his life savings she would extract some answers from their youngest daughter.

'So.' Rose put a plate of toasted sandwiches down in front of Lily then sat down opposite her. 'Tell us some more about last week. What did you all get up to?'

'We already talked about this Mum, I really didn't leave much out. Marly wasn't exactly up for a lot you know? And there was only really me, Alice and Sirius there for the week.'

'And James.'

'Well, of course he was there, it's his house. I didn't really think I needed to mention that he was there.' Lily silently congratulated herself on managing to sound so composed and unconcerned.

'And of course you met his parents while you were there. Charlus and Dorothy wasn't it?'

'Dorea. Charlus and Dorea Potter. Yes, they're very kind, they've been really good to Marly.' Feeling herself to be on relatively safe ground with this topic, she continued. 'Of course they are related to the McKinnons somehow, so I suppose that does make a difference. And they have the room – having an enormous house does make it easy to have houseguests.'

'Ah, of course, you did say that James and Marlene are related. You know, I think that makes it even stranger that we've never met him. After all, we've met Marlene several times. And he's introduced you to his parents dear; don't you think it's strange you've never introduced us?'

'Mum.' Lily found herself unable to prevent the hint of exasperation in her tone, and she just _knew_ that her cheeks were starting to flush with embarrassment at her mother's implication. 'It wasn't as if he marched me off to meet his parents deliberately. It was unavoidable because I was staying in their house. And you haven't met him before because there's no reason for you to have met him! We're not exactly close friends, I _explained_ that yesterday, and I've never seen him outside of school before. When would I possibly have introduced you?'

'Well, you could invite him over and introduce us! He could come for dinner, Tuney could bring Vernon, it would be a lovely family meal.'

'You're joking?' Lily stopped the hand holding her orange juice in midair and gave her mother an incredulous look. 'You want me to invite a _wizard_ to dinner with Tuney and Vernon. Seriously? Because that would go so well. Back me up here Dad.'

'She has a point there love.' William looked pointedly at his wife. 'Vernon doesn't know about Lily yet, I think it would be best to space out the shocks a little. I wouldn't think you'd get Petunia to agree to it either.'

'Hmph. But you could still invite him for dinner with us Lily. We'd like to meet him, wouldn't we William?'

'Would we?' muttered William darkly. Rose might be thrilled about the possibility of Lily having a boyfriend, but he was less than delighted with the idea; especially since she'd just spent a week in his house, more or less un-chaperoned by her own admission.

'Mum. You're missing the point. I'm not hiding him from you, _there's just no need for you to meet him._ It's like I explained yesterday, we don't even know each other very well. I'm not really getting why you find this so interesting - you haven't asked me a single question about Sirius, and you've never met him either!'

'Yes, well you weren't wearing Sirius' sweater earlier either were you?' Rose lifted her chin and dropped this question with the finesse of a poker player showing a royal flush.

'Is that what this is about?' Lily ignored the growing swells of uneasiness in her stomach. This was not a conversation she was comfortable having. How could she possibly explain the shift in her relationship with James without also explaining all the things she'd been shielding her parents from up to now – the blood status movement, Voldemort, the disappearances? More, how could you possibly explain your emotions to someone else when you didn't even have a solid grip on them yourself? Too much had changed in a short space of time, and she needed to think it through for herself before she could even consider confiding in someone. And, much as she loved her parents, Lily was forced to admit that neither one would be her first choice of confidant.

Pushing down her discomfort and agitation, she continued. 'James gave me his sweater the other day when I was cold. It must have got muddled in with my clothes and I packed it by mistake. I was wearing it because, if you hadn't noticed, my room is an incredible mess and it was the first warm item of clothing I came across!'

Mother and daughter glared at each other for a moment, each exasperated by the stubborn wilfulness of the other. William cleared his throat and they both turned to look at him as he addressed his daughter. 'So your mother tells me that you've decided to do some extra reading for your classes over the summer? Very dedicated.' With a pointed glare at Rose, he added 'Concentrating on your schoolwork.'

While she was grateful to her father for the attempt at diverting her mother off her chosen subject, Lily couldn't help but feel aggrieved at the topic he'd chosen. The level of guilt she felt about keeping the dangers of the wizarding world from them was almost worse than the squirming sense of unease she'd gotten when they were discussing James, and talking about the piles of additional reading material in her trunk was not making her feel any better. The subject churned up all kinds of feelings she wasn't ready to deal with, and it was hard to avoid the subject of Marly, or Sirius, or Voldemort, or Remus popping up in her head while she lied breezily about extra credit and advanced applications for jobs.

To add insult to injury, Lily could almost see the wheels turning in her mother's brain as she worked out how to work the conversation back round to James, and her father had unwittingly given her an opening since her mother knew that her 'additional reading' had come from James' library. Sure enough – 'It was very kind of James to let you borrow those books from his library dear. Won't he be doing any additional reading over the summer? Or does he take different classes?'

Merlin, the woman was relentless.

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It may or may not have cheered Lily up to know that at the approximate time she was being cross-examined by her mother, across the country in Gloucestershire the subject of the interrogation was being blasted across the library of his manor house for the seventh time that afternoon.

James was discovering that his father's reputation as a formidable auror was extremely well deserved, as he failed yet again in his attempt to raise a shield charm of sufficient strength to repel the older man's extremely accurate stunning hexes. Having been woken by a quick spell from his father, he winced slightly as he picked himself back up off the floor, dusted down his clothes and returned to his position opposite Charlus, who was valiantly trying not to smirk at his son's troubles.

'You're flourishing your wand slightly too much to the left; try to give it more of a sharp flick, and you'll get your shield up quicker.'

James nodded, and Charlus sent yet another stunner at him in a lightning-fast flash of red light. This time James' shield deflected it away from himself, and sent it barrelling directly into his mother's favourite standard lamp, which promptly toppled over backwards and shattered.

'Bugger! That belonged to your aunt Penelope, your mother will have my head.' Charlus aimed his wand at the lamp and watched as the shattered pieces amalgamated themselves back into shape. He examined it critically. 'Is that what it looked like? Still looks a bit lopsided to me.'

'Don't look at me.' James answered. 'I turn it on and off, I don't _look_ at it. It's a lamp. You mean Mum can tell the difference?'

'Your mother, my boy, could write an inventory of the contents of this house blindfolded. Exact locations included. Never believe for a second that she does not notice if you move or damage something.'

'Sirius and I have done plenty of damage that she's never noticed.'

'You have not. You have done damage that she hasn't bothered to reprimand you about, presumably because you have damaged something that she doesn't particularly care for. _My_ ears however, have never quite recovered from the battering they took when I broke her crystal jewellery box and foolishly thought I could replace it with a similar one before she came home from work. Take some words of wisdom my son: women are mysterious creatures, and one can never be entirely sure of _what_ their reaction will be until it is too late.'

'Tell me about it.' James muttered under his breath. Charlus grinned at his son and flung an arm around his shoulder.

'I presume that comment refers to a lovely young redhead who has recently departed this very house?' He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at his son, who burst out laughing.

'Merlin, it's no wonder I don't know what to do with her when you're my example.'

'I'm a fantastic example. Ask your mother. Actually don't. Speaking of your mother, we should find somewhere else to practice – somewhere with less breakable things preferably.' He steered his son towards the doors. 'Let's have us a manly chat in the kitchen while we think about this.'

'Think about what? Lily or somewhere to practice?' The two of them wandered companionably along the hallways to the kitchen.

'Both excellent topics of conversation, but it has to be said that one problem is significantly more solvable than the other.'

'Lily isn't a _problem_. She's more... an intriguing puzzle.'

Charlus threw his son a grin that could best be described as wolfish. 'The best ones always are.'

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James drummed his fingertips rhythmically on the countertop while his father made tea. He was worried, and while he could pretend he wasn't he couldn't totally control the nervous twitches his body habitually fell into in times of stress. The messy strands of hair falling every which way on his head were silent testament to that fact. Charlus watched him carefully, trying to decide exactly how much prying his son would let him get away with.

'Here. Tea. Drink up, it's good for you. Full of...something good.' He plonked a mug unceremoniously in front of James' still drumming fingertips and took a swig from his own cup. 'Though I notice you definitely seem to have gone off the green stuff that Marlene likes.'

'Yeah, well, so would you if you'd spent the best part of an hour mopping a load of the stuff off the hallway floor after Lily dropped it everywhere.' James grumbled.

Charlus didn't quite suppress a laugh. 'Well, the things we do for love. You needn't think your mother hasn't noticed her missing tea service either.'

'Thought for sure I'd gotten away with that one.' He sighed. 'Padfoot startled her. She felt really guilty, and I couldn't make her feel worse, so I just tidied it up and didn't tell anyone. I'll confess to Mum.'

'I wouldn't worry about it. Trust me on this, if she was bothered, you'd have heard about it by now. Besides, she rather likes your Miss Evans. Girl's got spirit. A real spark.'

'Hmm.' James sipped his tea and prepared to spill his guts to his father. He'd known all along that "a chat in the kitchen" was actually an invitation to voice his worries. 'She has. Maybe more than is good for her. And...maybe I've gotten her into something I shouldn't have involved her in.'

'I presume this is the same something that has you so eager to practice schoolwork in the summer?'

'Yeah. But I can't tell you about it properly. I promised.'

'Okay.' Leaning back against the kitchen counter, Charlus surveyed his son. He was always startled by how much of an adult he was now – whenever he was out of his company for a while he reverted back to thinking of James as a teenage boy, all idiocy and lacking in attention span. 'Can you give me the general gist?'

James pursed his lips and clenched his hands round his mug a few times before answering. 'You know how I'm good in classes Dad?'

'Course I do. Your mother and I both saw your OWL results. And we're proud of you, you know that don't you?' Charlus clapped his son soundly on the shoulder.

'I do. I've always known that. It's just...that isn't going to be enough is it? I'm the best in the year at Transfiguration, and I'm pretty hot on DADA and Potions too, but in the end, I'm only competing against other seventeen year olds.' James looked up from his tea to meet his father's eyes. 'What happens in the real world? I can't keep up with you, can I? Even the McKinnons couldn't protect themselves. I know we're all safe at Hogwarts – even old Voldy isn't going to line up against Dumbledore – but in a year's time we're out on our own.'

'You know that's not true. We'll still be here, and Potter Manor is almost as well-protected as Hogwarts. You don't need to worry.'

'I know Dad... but I won't hide myself away here. I'm going to be out there fighting – like you are; neither of us is going to sit aside while the world goes to hell are we? And you know a lot of my friends feel the same – Sirius, Remus, Frank.' James took a deep, sucking breath. 'The thing is, Dad, I think I may have talked some of the others into feeling the same way about things. Including Lily. And what if that was wrong? What if none of us are up to this; you know, just not good enough? I don't know what I'd do if I was responsible for getting one of them killed.' He took another long sip of tea and stared at his mug as if it held the answers. 'Especially her.'

Charlus looked at James, and felt a stab of sadness that he had such worries on his shoulders at only seventeen. He did the only thing he could think of that might help; he told the truth. 'James. You are one of the most talented wizards I've seen for a long time; that's not me being biased, I've spoken to some of your professors. You are good enough; you're just not practised enough.' He reached out and placed his hand on his son's shoulder, and waited for him to look up and meet his eyes again before continuing to speak. 'But you will be. Go open up the ballroom, we'll practice in there. Plenty of space, and I guarantee you'll have this down by the end of the afternoon.' He gave James' shoulder a reassuring pat.

James felt the beginnings of a smile for the first time that day. He finished his tea and dropped the mug in the sink, paused to put his hand on his Dad's shoulder for a minute in a silent thank you and left the room quietly, re-energised and with a new determination.

Charlus continued drinking his tea quietly, resting his elbows on the kitchen sideboard. 'How much of that did you hear?'

Dorea Potter slipped into the kitchen from the dining room and put her arms around her husband, resting her head on his back. 'Just the last bit. But it was enough. I've never been prouder of him.' She tightened her grip on her husband. 'Or more terrified for him.'

Charlus put his mug down and closed his hands over hers. 'He'll be alright. I'll make sure of it.'

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**A/N: I know, not much happens this chapter -I'm mainly establishing James and Lily's emotional state at this point before we run with the main plot again. Besides, their parents are fun to write :)**


	11. Chapter 11 - Badges

**A/N: Hello again to all you wonderful readers out there! I seem to be running slightly ahead of schedule on my writing, so here is an early update for you, AND I'm currently editing the next one, so it may be even be a double update weekend! This is the last of the chapters covering the summer break, we'll be on our way to Hogwarts by the next update and the plot will start moving a little faster. This is fluffy because fluff makes me happy - I hope it makes you happy too. X**

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Five weeks later James could be found sitting at the table in his kitchen, playing with the single piece of toast on his breakfast plate and watching Sirius inhale more food than any human ought to be able to. It had been a week since Lily had last written to him, and he was more worried than he should have been about the lack of communication; while their initial letters had been slightly tense, they had quickly settled into greater familiarity and had written regularly. Her last letter had been full of enthusiastic reports about the number of useful spells she had found in his books, so presumably she was just caught up in that – knowing her studious habits he wouldn't be surprised – but he found that he was both anxious and disappointed each day he didn't receive a letter. He had considered using the mirror to check on her - or just apparating directly to her house to see her - repeatedly this week but had decided she would disapprove and consider it unnecessary hovering.

His eyes were drawn back to his best friend who was still massacring his way through a plate of breakfast, and who had somehow managed to combine scrambled eggs, ketchup and sausages into an unholy mush on his plate. Faintly nauseated by the sight, James pushed his plate away and rose to refill his coffee. He never used to touch the stuff – he preferred tea - but since Lily had stayed with him drinking it was a habit he had fallen into. He could imagine her drinking coffee in her kitchen at breakfast, and the smell always made him think of her. Not that he didn't think of her often anyway, but this was something more tangible, a lingering reminder of her presence in his house and the change in their relationship it had brought about. He stood in front of the window, staring out into the back garden and sipping his coffee, not noticing the exasperated eye-roll Sirius aimed in his direction. Sirius Black did not approve of his best mate's new tendency to brood.

James' sharp Quidditch-trained eyes spotted the morning post owls flying in, and he stepped forward to open the window for them. Apollo was first to land, followed by a tawny owl that both boys immediately recognised as a Hogwarts owl.

'Ha! About bloody time for our letters, I was starting to think they'd forgotten us Prongsie! Can you imagine Hogwarts without us?' Sirius dragged them from James' hand and threw his back at him. 'Dumbledore had the good sense to send Moony's letter here too, I'll take it up to him.' He raced from the room before James had managed to get a word out in reply. Shaking his head, James sat back down at the table with his coffee and his mail.

He put his Hogwarts letter to one side – not like it was going to be much different from any other years after all – and opened the letter Apollo had brought, noting immediately it was not in Lily's handwriting, and doing his best to ignore the squirming mixture of resignation and concern that stimulated in his stomach. He scanned through the letter from Marlene, pleased that she was having a good time staying with the Prewetts, and happy to note the cheery tone of her letter made her sound almost her old self again.

He put her letter aside and reached for his Hogwarts one, which actually looked a little thicker than normal now he came to think about it. He opened it and a badge fell onto the table with a clunk. He briefly wondered why Dumbledore would have sent him a new Quidditch Captain badge; he was sure he still had his from last year, and he'd never heard of people getting a yearly replacement either. He began to think back over the last few days of term, trying to remember the last time he'd seen his badge, thinking that perhaps he'd dropped it at school and Dumbledore was simply returning it to him, but his thought process faltered and came to a complete stop as he picked up the badge and turned it over; Sirius came back into the room two minutes later to find him still frozen in place, a look of sheer disbelief etched onto his face as he stared at the small badge in his hand.

'Prongs? Mate what's wrong?' Sirius' voice trailed off as he registered the badge in James' hand. 'No fucking way. Dumbledore's nuts, but he's not that batty. It must be for Moony.'

'What must be for me?' asked Remus cheerily as he entered the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee pot; James' new caffeine habit was one he heartily approved of. He wandered back over to the table and peered over James' shoulder at the small badge, still sat in the palm of his large hand. 'Oh. _Oh_. No, I'm pretty sure that's not for me. I had a note from Dumbledore outlining some changes to prefect procedures this year, and I'm sure he would have mentioned it if I was Head Boy.' James' throat made a sort of strangled sound as the words were spoken aloud for the first time.

'Er, Prongs? Did you read your letter yet?' asked Sirius. James shook his head slowly, eyes still fixed on the badge as if he was mesmerised by it. Sirius pulled the parchment out of the envelope and read through the pages quickly, eyes full of disbelief. He placed the sheaf of parchment down in front of James and shook his head. 'I take it back. Dumbledore isn't nuts. He's _surpassed_ nuts. He's so far past barmy he can't touch it from the other side anymore.'

'So...do I assume from all this that Prongs is Head Boy?' Remus asked with a huge grin. 'Because I hope you're going to give him as hard a time as you gave me when I made Prefect. Just think of it – fifty percent of the Marauders on the side of school discipline.'

'Shut up Moony, we'll corrupt him just like we did you. It won't be that difficult, he's a reprobate anyway...'

James blocked out the sound of his two best friends bickering behind him and picked up the letter that Sirius had placed in front of him.

_Dear Mr Potter, _

_I'm sure by now you have found your new badge enclosed in this envelope. Let me be the first to congratulate you on your appointment as Head Boy. I'm sure you were a little surprised to be chosen, but allow me to reassure you that I have every confidence I have made the right decision. The leadership skills you have demonstrated in your role as Quidditch Captain have only confirmed my belief that you will be a wonderful leader for the entire student body._

_I'm sure you will have your work cut out trying to keep up with both the Captain and Head positions as well as your studies, but I have every faith in you. _

_I should also say that I am positive that this year's Head Girl and yourself will make an admirable team; you have both been chosen not only for your individual merits (which are plentiful) but also for the formidable leadership and example you will provide as a pair._

_I look forward to meeting with you both on September 1st._

_Yours_

_Prof. A. P. W. B. Dumbledore_

'Who's Head Girl?' They were the first words to make it out of James' shell-shocked throat, and both Sirius and Remus stopped bickering and turned to face him. 'Dumbledore says I've been chosen because I'll work well with the Head Girl, so who the hell is it? If he's stuck me with someone like Roberta Watson with her continually flapping mouth, I will go mad...'

'Mate.' Sirius was looking at him with an odd expression. 'It's going to be Evans. You'd know that if your brains weren't so addled right now.'

'He's right.' Remus butted in. 'She's the obvious choice. If she didn't get it then Dumbledore _has_ gone nuts.'

Without another word James dropped his letter, picked up his badge and legged it from the kitchen. Sirius turned to look at Remus, who just raised an eyebrow and shrugged. 'I find it's usually best not to ask.'

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James pulled his mirror out from under his pillow and sat down on his bed. He took a deep breath and looked directly into it. 'Lily.' His voice sounded clearer and stronger than he thought it had any right to at that moment. The glass frosted over for a moment then cleared to reveal Lily's concerned face.

'James! Is everything okay?' It took him a moment to find an answer, to remember to speak instead of just looking at her face and absorbing the details – the long eyelashes, the tiny freckles, the strands of hair escaping her braid. It seemed so long since he'd seen her in person.

'Yeah, uh, everything's fine. I think. No, everything's okay. I just...can I come over and see you?' He blurted it out, deciding on the spot that it would be easier to speak to her face to face.

'Oh. Uh, sure. Are you sure there's nothing wrong? You look...flustered.'

'Uh, yeah. Weird morning. I'll explain when I get there. Is now okay?' He noted the slight frown creasing her forehead, and he hated that he was making her worry, but he didn't quite have a grip on himself yet.

'Sure. Everyone's out, it's just me, so just... come in.' Her mouth curved up into a smile. 'You know where the back door is.' His mirror frosted over and he knew that she must have put hers down. Grabbing the badge from his bed, he apparated on the spot.

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **_**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

He arrived in Lily's back garden in Cokeworth in almost exactly the same spot he had five weeks ago and he had a strange moment of déjà vu. It was odd how so much had changed since then, but so much was exactly the same. He sucked in a breath, reminded himself that he was a Potter and a Gryffindor, and walked towards the house, hoping like hell he wasn't a Potter and a Gryffindor about to be jinxed by Lily Evans.

The back door was open, so he tapped lightly on the frame. Lily appeared from one of the other rooms, slightly out of breath and frantically using her fingers to comb her hair out of its messy braid. She was wearing a forest green sundress and her feet were bare.

'Hi!' She shot him a dazzling smile, and he found himself speechless for a minute. Not once, not once before had she ever smiled like that at him – like she was completely pleased to see him and not even slightly annoyed with him.

'Hi Lily.' Her name still felt slightly strange on his tongue. 'I'm sorry for disturbing you, but it's kind of important.'

'It must be for you to come all the way here!' she laughed. 'Anyway, you timed it well, I was just about to make coffee.' She paused for a second before blurting out 'And you aren't disturbing me, you're always welcome. I mean, you don't need to ask permission to come and see me.' She could feel the blush spreading across her face and she found herself unable to meet his eyes for the minute, so she took the opportunity to busy herself with the kettle.

James felt a smile appear in response to her statement – perhaps this wasn't going to go as badly as he'd thought – and to spare her blushes he chose not to respond to her outburst. 'Coffee sounds great. I've developed a bit of a habit.'

She shot him a grin over her shoulder. 'That's probably my fault isn't it? I'm a total addict.' She paused in her coffee making long enough to slide a plate with a mixture of chocolate chip and toffee cookies towards him. Noting his raised eyebrow and sceptical expression, her grin grew even wider. 'You're safe with those, Mum made them. Wouldn't even let me in the kitchen.' James picked one up and bit into it and she turned back to the coffeepot. 'Anyway, what did you want to talk about? You can tell me while I'm doing this, I'm an ace multitasker.'

James cleared his throat and chose the safe option of not looking at her as he spoke, breaking his cookie into pieces to keep his fingers busy. 'We got our Hogwarts letters this morning. Me, Padfoot and Moony.'

'Oh!' She span round quickly. 'I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you! I got mine too, and I'm Head Girl!' If her last smile had been dazzling, this one was a supernova. She looked so totally, unbelievably happy, so thrilled with her news, and he felt a quick burst of pleasure somewhere low in his belly that she had wanted to share it with him.

'That's great Lil.' He meant it, honestly and sincerely. 'Not that I'm surprised at all. We were just saying this morning you were the only choice. Actually, that's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about.'

'Oh?' She placed a mug of coffee in front of him and took a sip of hers before she cocked her head to one side and looked at him expectantly. He reached a hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out his badge. He held it out on his palm for her and she reached out to take it with her free hand.

There was silence between them for a moment as Lily looked at the badge she was holding in her hand. 'I thought...Remus. I just thought...It never occurred to me that it might be someone from outside the prefects.' She put her mug down and turned his badge over in both hands.

'Lil, I...I just came to say that if you want me to, I'll send it back to Dumbledore. It'll be easy for him to pick another Head Boy, but you're the only choice for Head Girl, and if you'd rather work with someone else, then I'm okay with that.' He called it quits there, took a nervous sip of coffee and just waited for her response, whatever it was going to be.

She looked up at him, a glimmer of something he didn't recognise or understand in her eyes. Then she walked directly into arms and wrapped hers tight around his waist, burying her face into his chest. Recovering from his shock, he put his mug down and brought his arms around her, placing one hand low on her back and resting the other between her shoulder blades, while he tried to work out what emotion could possibly have provoked this response.

'Lil?'

He felt her chest heave against him, and for one truly panicked moment he thought she was crying, but she tilted her face back to look up at him and he could see the laughter on her lips, and the look of sheer relief in her eyes.

'I was desperate for it to be Remus, and I've been so worried it was going to be someone else, and it's you!' She laughed again, relief was coursing through her veins, making her feel giddy and light-headed. 'When I read the letter and Dumbledore was talking about the Head's complementing each other and being a good example, I started to panic that he was trying to make a point and he was going to stick me with Snape or someone – you know, a Slytherin and a muggleborn Gryffindor to show we could all get along? It would have been awful.'

She unwrapped her arms from James' back, leant back in his arms, grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt in both hands and stood up on her tiptoes so her face was level with his. 'I could just kiss you James Potter! I'm so bloody relieved right now!'

Trying to ignore the little bounce his heart had done at hearing her words, he made himself look directly into her eyes. 'So...you're not mad?'

Lily dropped back down onto the flats of her feet and loosened her grip on his shirt. Her smile had been replaced by a slight frown. 'Why would I be mad?'

'Because it's me. You know...me. Marauder, toerag, resident rule breaker and idiot. And you're stuck working with me for a year. I just thought you might not be okay with that.' James' hands were both resting on the small of her back now, and she could feel his fingertips digging in slightly as his hands clenched nervously.

'James.' She stepped back out of his embrace, and tried not to notice how much colder her skin suddenly felt. 'You haven't been that person for a long time now, and it's about time I gave you credit for that. I'm...happy...that you're Head Boy. I am. I'm glad to be working with someone decent. And yeah, I'm sure you're going to annoy me a fair few times over the year and we're going to have our fair share of fights - more probably - but at least I know I can trust you.'

The corners of his lips started to tug upwards of their own accord. 'You trust me?'

Lily slapped his arm playfully. 'Of course I do stupid!' She stepped back, put her fists on her hips and looked him up and down critically. 'And I'm glad you're wearing muggle clothes because we're going out.'

'We are?'

'We are.' She confirmed, prodding him in the chest with one finger. 'For late breakfast or early lunch or whatever. I'm too wired to stay in on my own, and you're a convenient distraction. I just need to grab my coat and everything, give me two minutes.'

She darted out of the room, and James absent-mindedly finished his cookie while he mulled over the morning's events, wondering whether he'd woken up in a parallel universe that morning. She came back a few minutes later with a white jacket over her dress, tugging tan sandals onto her feet. There was a spring in her step and her cheeks were flushed with happy colour, and when she grabbed his arm and pushed him out through the door, laughing the whole time, he decided that he didn't care either way.

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**A/N: Just a quick question, does everyone prefer regular updates to longer chapters? Because I prefer to post short and often, but I could combine chapters to be longer and post less regularly if that's what people prefer (no promises).**

**Also, have I ever said how pleased I am that people like my Lily? I think she's often portrayed as a bit too whiny and uptight, when she must have had a streak of mischief in there. I mean, the woman married James Potter for God's sake, she had to have some sense of humour surely?**

**Let me know what you think, reviews are appreciated! X**


	12. Chapter 12 - Meeting

**A/N: As promised, here is a second update this weekend, and I will do my very best to keep updating regularly, albeit with relatively short chapters. **

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Bloody hell, she was late. The new Head Girl was late for the first prefect's meeting of the year. How in Circe's name had this happened? She hurtled her way along the corridor of the Hogwart's Express, dodging around younger students and wondering whether it would be unseemly for the Head Girl to push clueless first years out of the way.

Bloody gossipy girls, that was the problem. Alright, she'd been pleased to catch up with Mary and Emma – who she hadn't seen at all over the summer break – and it had been great to see Marlene and Alice again, but she could have done without Roberta Watson and Grace Godson blathering on about how much they were looking forward to seeing "James and Sirius" again. As if either of them was on first name terms with Potter or Black; as if they'd ever exchanged more than five words at a time with them. Lily was unable to pinpoint exactly why she already found Roberta and Grace more irritating this year than last, since she'd only spent about an hour in their company, but she absolutely did.

As she neared the front of the train she caught sight of a tall figure with sandy-blonde hair, easily identifiable from the back as Remus Lupin. He was some way in front of her, obviously heading for the same meeting she was and she stopped her mad dash to get her breath back long enough to yell at him.

'Moony! Moony, wait a second!'

Remus' stopped dead and turned to face the direction the shout had come from. Craning his neck he caught sight of Lily's mass of flaming curls heading towards him as she pushed, threatened and cajoled other students out of her way. By the time she'd caught up to him, she was flushed and slightly out of breath.

'Did you just call me Moony?' Amused, he raised an eyebrow at her and reached out to remove a piece of Cockroach Cluster from the sleeve of her robes.

'Bloody kids chucking sweets around. Yes, I called you Moony. I knew you'd definitely stop for someone who'd call you Moony, so I shamelessly pretended to be a Marauder with an unusually high-pitched voice. Sue me.'

Remus laughed. 'Somebody's stressed. Head Girlship giving you problems?'

'No, incredibly annoying girls whose world revolves around tittle-tattle have been giving me problems, namely that they have made me late. Which is why I stopped you. We can walk in together and pretend we've been doing something terribly important to _make_ us late, and neither of us will be remiss in our duties.'

'A cunning plan indeed.' Remus smiled at her and gestured for her start moving. 'Lead the way your Headship.'

'You're enjoying this aren't you?'

'Oh, not nearly as much as I've been enjoying Prongs' anxieties over the last week I can assure you.'

Lily turned her head to enquire after James' tenuous mental state just in time to see a Ravenclaw second year hit a Hufflepuff third year with a Bat Bogey hex behind Remus. With an exasperated moan, Lily stopped and buried her face in her hands.

'Want me to wait?' asked Remus with a sympathetic smile.

'No, go on. Tell them I'll be there in a minute.' Lily's voice was muffled behind her hands, but she rubbed her face, straightened up and whirled around to face the offending Ravenclaw. Remus left promptly, feeling a surge of amused sympathy for the student that was about to take the brunt of Lily Evans' impressive pent-up rage.

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In the prefect's compartment James was slouched against the window, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He was eating a bag of jelly slugs with an air of complete unconcern as he waited for the last of the prefects to arrive. Most had been more or less on time – he had been fifteen minutes early – but there were a few stragglers. Astonishingly that included Lily, who he had been expecting to beat him to the compartment by at least ten minutes. The ones who had arrived were seated on the benches that ran along either side of the compartment, and were also starting to get restless.

'Well?' snapped one of the seventh year Slytherin prefects. (Greengrass? James was pretty sure her name was Greengrass. Maybe Victoria?)'Are we planning on having this meeting _sometime_ today? Maybe you could get started, you know, since you're _Head Boy_ and everything.' The undisguised contempt in her voice made James smile widely.

'Well, you are right in one respect; I am Head Boy. So the meeting starts when I say – and the Head Boy says that we are going to wait for the Head Girl and the other prefects.'

'Who just happen to be _your_ housemates.' growled the other seventh year Slytherin prefect – none other than Severus Snape himself.

At that exact moment the compartment door slid open and Remus entered. He nodded apologetically to James. 'Sorry. Discipline problems on the way. Lily will be here in a minute, she's uh..._discussing_ a Ravenclaw's behaviour with him.'

'Not to worry Moony, we have all the time in the world.' James offered a happy grin to the two Slytherins, who simply scowled harder.

The room lapsed back into near silence, just one or two of the younger prefects chatting quietly. James returned to his bag of jelly slugs, but was very aware of the scrutiny of the other students. He paid particular attention to the evil looks he was receiving from Snape. There was nothing new in that – Snape loathed him, and James would be lying if he said he didn't positively revel in that fact, but there seemed to be something...extra...to his hostility today.

James was not stupid. He had noticed the slight tension in the air, and he was aware that he was the cause of it, and for more than one reason. For a start, every prefect who entered the compartment had been shocked to see who had been appointed Head Boy – James was, after all, hardly known for his acceptance of the rules. More importantly though, every prefect had certainly worked out by now that Lily Evans was the new Head Girl, and everyone knew about Lily and James' history; they were all waiting for the storm to hit when Lily eventually arrived at the compartment and saw who she'd been partnered with.

The door slammed open and Lily marched into the room. 'Sorry! Sorry, bloody idiot second years. Hope you didn't mind waiting for me.'

Every eye in the room turned to her, and the tension was almost palpable. Lily was at least as astute as James, and she too immediately recognised that the compartment was braced for a spectacular fight. So she positively waltzed over to James in the most unconcerned way she could possibly manage and positioned herself directly alongside him, propped against the window, legs outstretched, mimicking his posture, their arms touching. The room remained silent as James nudged Lily with his elbow.

'You're late.'

'_I know_.' She rolled her eyes at him and reached out to take a jelly slug out of his bag - eyebrows were raised at this show of familiarity.

'I was early.'

'What do you want, a cookie?'

'Only if it's one of those toffee ones your mum makes.'

Lily snorted a laugh. 'Liked those did you? I'll remember that in case I ever need to bribe you.'

Disregarding the incredulous looks that were passing between the prefects and the ever-deepening scowl on Snape's face, James pinched Lily's side, ignoring the resulting squeal. 'Never joke about food.' He looked round the cabin then straightened up. 'Right, let's get this started then. There have been some changes to prefect procedures this year, Lil, you want to take this?'

'Sure. Dumbledore's added some extra duties this year...'

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Twenty minutes later, the meeting was coming to a close, and the prefects were thoroughly confused. There had been no arguments between the Head Students, and each had seemed thoroughly unsurprised by the other's appointment; there had also been numerous hints that they had been in contact over the summer, something which would be fed into the rumour mill as soon as possible.

'I think that's everything actually.' James was saying. 'Anything else you can think of Lil?'

'Uhh, I think we covered everything important.' There was immediate movement as the prefects stared to get ready to leave. 'I just want to quickly add something though.' Lily's voice got louder as she tried to make herself heard over the rising din.

'Shut up you lot!' James' voice cut through the noise easily enough, and was immediately obeyed. Quidditch training had evidently increased his lung capacity beyond that of a normal human.

'I just want to say, don't overload James.' The boy in question twisted to look at her questioningly. 'He's still Quidditch Captain so he has more time constraints than me; if it's something you specifically need him for, or if it's an emergency, fine. Everything else gets brought to me, and I'll pass on what's necessary.' She met James' eyes. 'That okay with you?'

'Fine.' His face twisted into a mischievous grin. 'But I think you're actually just worried I'll be better at this Head thing than you. I'm already ahead on points after all.'

Lily feigned a hurt look as she nicked his last two jelly slugs. 'How so?'

'I was early. You were late. I get points, you lose points.'

She couldn't help it – she laughed. 'Okay, but I gave out three – count 'em (she waved the parchment slips in his face) - three detentions on the way here. That's got to put me ahead.'

'Well it would, but you see, I started with more points than you anyway.' By now the entire room was silent again, the other students present dumbfounded not by James' behaviour, but by Lily's. Eyes flicked between the two Head students as they verbally fenced with each other.

'Really? And how did you manage that then Prongs?'

'Did you really just call me Prongs?'

'Lily has decided to temporarily become a Marauder whenever she feels the situation calls for it Prongs.' interjected Remus, who had been watching the exchange with benign interest.

'Really? Well then, _Tiger-Lily_, the reason I started with more points than you is because I'm obviously prettier.' Lily spluttered a laugh and immediately began choking on the jelly slugs, sending her into an uncontrollable coughing fit.

'Shit Lil, sorry!' James laughed at her reddening face, but started to rub one hand over her upper back, holding onto her arm with the other as the coughs subsided. 'Didn't mean to kill you. I'm not that desperate to win.'

'I'm fine.' She straightened up and glowered at him. 'Idiot.' He slung an arm round her shoulder carelessly and gave her a quick squeeze. Snape's flaring nostrils did not go unnoticed by either of them. 'Alright, meeting over. Thanks everybody.' She added.

The prefects jumped up and began to head for the door, but they'd hardly had a second to move when the train braked sharply and drew to a shuddering stop. The lights went out and the sudden jerk had thrown several people off balance, causing them to stumble. A fifth year Hufflepuff called Louise Litton crashed into Lily; she lost her balance but was caught by Remus as she fell. There were groans from all around the compartment as people picked themselves up and rubbed their bruises.

Then a light flared in the darkness and James was suddenly visible, the glow from his wand growing stronger. Lily and Remus quickly followed his example and some semblance of visibility was restored.

'Alright, everybody quit groaning, honestly! If you bunch of babies played Quidditch we'd never finish a match!' James' annoyed voice sounded louder than usual in the dark and the quiet. 'Does anybody actually think they're seriously hurt? If anyone says yes and it turns out to be anything less than a broken limb, I will personally break one for them.'

There was no response from anyone in the room. 'Good. Now everybody spread out along the train, patrol the corridors and try and keep everyone in their compartments where possible. You may want to pair up. Moony, dig out as many seventh years as possible and see if you can get the lamps re-lit, I'm going to speak to the driver and find out what's going on. Lily will stay here in case anyone needs extra help; if something is wrong or you're having problems, come and get her.' He turned to Lily and added somewhat cryptically 'I suppose it's too much to hope that you have a reliable means of communicating with me if you need to?'

'What?' Momentarily startled by the unexpected question, Lily stared at him for a moment until realisation dawned and her hand flew to the pocket where she still carried the mirror he had given her. 'Oh, yes I have actually.'

'Good. Use it if you need to.' He spoke sternly. 'No heroics, understand? Keep everyone calm and out of trouble.'

He turned back to the others; nobody had moved yet and there was no sign that they were about to get going either. An exasperated James finally lost his temper and yelled at them. 'Well, get moving!' The prefects turned and scrambled for the door, some frantically whispering, others deadly pale and silent. Remus gave Lily a mock salute as he and James left together.

A moment later he stuck his head back round the door; 'If Padfoot shows up here, do me a favour and stun him? He'll give us more problems than the rest of the train put together otherwise.' He winked at her and his sandy blond hair disappeared again.

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Lily paced up and down the compartment which was surprisingly eerie in the quiet, even though she had managed to restore the lamplight. It had only been five minutes since everybody had left, and two prefects (both of whom she would be awarding additional points to) had stopped back in to let her know everything was fine elsewhere on the train and the seventh years had managed to restore the lights, but she couldn't quite shake the tenseness that was settling in her shoulders. She hated that, _hated_ that she could feel so nervous and shaken by events that even a few short years ago would have seemed amusing rather than ominous.

The door to the compartment slid quietly open and James stepped in. Lily's heart, which had sped up dramatically the moment she had heard the door start to slide, settled back into its normal rhythm and she lowered her wand which she had apparently raised without even thinking.

'Tree on the line of all bloody things. Well, three trees apparently. They're levitating them off now, so we should be moving again in a few minutes. They didn't notice them until last minute or they would have moved them ages ago and wouldn't have needed to stop the train. Weird thing is, it looks like they were dragged onto the line.' James slumped down onto one of the seats. 'Any hysterics yet?'

'No. Everything's fine according to the prefects. Crisis averted I suppose.' Lily took a seat next to him and tucked her legs up under her. 'Good first day on the job?'

He threw her a dirty look, then tilted his head back until he was staring at the ceiling, his head resting on back of the seat. 'I hate being responsible.'

The lamps went out.

'What the..?' James' wand lit up the darkness again, and Lily was already on her feet and opening the compartment door to poke her head out.

'It's the whole train again.' she twisted her head to face him. 'I can see the glow from a few wands, but all the lamps are out again. That's a _spell_. Who would want to keep putting the lights out?'

'Well I wouldn't put it past Padfoot under normal circumstances, but I'm pretty sure Moony would reign him in.' James moved up behind her, and slid past and out of the door. 'We should check on things, some of the younger kids will probably be panicking by now.' He held the door open for her and she joined him in the corridor.

They began to move towards the rear of the train, wands held out in front of them as they walked side-by-side. It was eerie to walk along the unlit corridor, their footsteps echoing in the silence and the two of them unconsciously moved closer together, arms brushing as they walked. Lily waved her wand at one of the lamps; a light flared briefly, then the lamp immediately extinguished itself. The Head students exchanged a brief confused glance and continued their cautious walk along the length of corridor.

The sound of breaking glass was shockingly loud in the silence and both James and Lily automatically ran towards the compartment the sound had come from; they crashed through the door in time to see a screaming Slytherin girl being clawed at by a horrifying creature, a grey-skinned skeletal version of a human under the broken external window of the compartment.

'Fucking hell!' James pointed his wand. 'Flipendo!' The creature flew off the girl and hit the bench seat; James pulled the injured girl up and shoved her roughly through the door into the corridor, yelling at the other students to get out of the compartment. The creature had already recovered and was moving quickly towards James and Lily, who were blocking the door.

'Incendio!' Fire burst from James' wand and the creature fell backwards snarling, crawling away from the path of the flame back towards the window. 'It's an Inferius, fire is the only thing that will work!' James shouted at Lily who was pushing the last of the compartment's screaming occupants along the corridor. The sound of smashing glass came from further down the train, and the two shared a quick look as James kept his conjured fire between the creature and them.

'Go. I'm fine, go!' James gave her a shove with his free hand and Lily left the compartment at a dead run, heading towards the source of the crashing sound. A stream of screaming first years were pouring into the corridor and Lily shoved past them into the compartment they were abandoning. Another Inferius was crawling into the train through a broken window and as she pointed her wand at it and began her incantation, the whole train rocked to one side and she crashed head-first into the half-open door and crumpled to the floor.

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**A/N: Tell me what you think people! (I couldn't find a lot of information on how an Inferius would behave, so I have shamelessly invented for dramatic purposes.)**


	13. Chapter 13 - Inferi

**A/N: Would have been mean to keep you waiting much longer wouldn't it?  
**

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When Lily came to, she did so quickly. Her fingers closed around her wand and she jerked herself into a sitting up position, holding her wand defensively in front of her. She could taste a faint trace of blood in her mouth, her head was pounding and her surroundings were hazy and out of focus.

'Easy there, love.' The voice echoed in her ears slightly but she was coherent enough to recognise the deep tones of Sirius Black. A large calloused hand presented itself, palm up, in front of her, and she gratefully took it and allowed herself to be pulled fully upright; the entire room took a slow, lazy spin and she felt herself stagger two steps to the right. Sirius' spare hand landed on her hip as he steadied her. 'You might want to take it easy, you were out cold for a couple of minutes.' He peered at her critically. 'Alright?'

'Yeah, fine.' A lie, but never mind, her vision was clearing and she could now make out Sirius and the rest of the compartment in the dim glow from his wand. Fighting back the nausea that was threatening to overtake her she removed herself from his grip and struggled to find her balance. When she could stand up straight again she illuminated the tip of her wand and spun around trying to locate the Inferius.

'Looking for this?' Sirius was stood over the smouldering remains of the creature that had been efficiently burnt to a crisp. 'I was on my way to find Prongs, saw you run in here and thought I'd make sure you were okay. You took a hell of a tumble when the train rocked though.'

Lily ran a hand through her hair and tried to get a grip on her bewilderment. Dozens of questions ran through her mind but in her dazed state she couldn't quite express any of them accurately, so she settled for the only one she could coherently express. 'What the bloody hell is going on Sirius?'

'Hell if I know love. Lights going on and off, breaking glass, screaming.' Lily's horror grew tenfold as she realised that she could hear exactly those sounds echoing along the rest of the train, punctuated by the sound of magical fire and the occasional spoken hex.

'Shit!' She dived through the door into the train corridor and took in the scene unfolding before her. Students ran in all directions, some screaming, some bleeding, others throwing hexes over the shoulders as they ran. The lamps were still out so the only light was cast from wands being used as torches, and the occasional flash of coloured light as some of the older students frantically threw curses. Sirius stepped out beside her and held his wand defensively in front of them both.

Another Inferius practically fell out of the compartment next to them and crawled in the direction of a small blonde boy who was struggling to run on an injured leg. Lily reflexes were quicker than Sirius' this time, and she stepped forward and aimed her wand so swiftly that her already groggy head span even faster.

'Confringo!'

The jet of purple light hit the snarling creature and it immediately burst into flames. The force of the blasting curse blew the Inferius out of the side of the train, taking a fair-sized chunk of wall and window with it.

Grudgingly impressed, Sirius stepped forward and peered out through the wreckage. 'I wouldn't have thought of using that one. Little heavy on the collateral damage don't you think?'

'That,' Lily responded, twirling her wand in his direction, 'is what we call a _secondary _problem Sirius. I'm currently too preoccupied with the army of undead monsters invading the train to worry about a little bit of damage to school property.'

'A _little_ damage? You've given me detention for less Evans...' Sirius was interrupted in his response by the arrival of Peter Pettigrew, who promptly collapsed against what remained of the wall to get his breath back.

'Oh good, neither of you is dead. Prongs will be pleased.' He held up a hand to silence their questions, then straightened up and addressed them both. 'He's at the front of the train with the seventh year prefects. He's got them securing the first three carriages behind the driver's cabin – they're making sure they are empty of Inferi and then casting protective enchantments over them. He says to get as many students safely into them as we possibly can; the prefects will stay to maintain the enchantments. There are a few other seventh years already emptying the carriages behind me. If nothing else we can hold out until someone gets here; the driver's sent a message straight to Dumbledore.'

'Good plan.' Sirius sounded approving. 'So we move towards the back of the train, pushing any younger students we find towards the safe carriages at the front and char-grilling any Inferi we meet on the way.'

'That is a fairly loose interpretation of James' instructions Sirius.' Lily stated, disapproval in her tone as she continued to brandish her wand in his direction. Behind them, Frank Longbottom and Marlene arrived, having followed Peter's mad dash along the corridor, and the five of them began to move towards the rear of the train as a group, wands at the ready and nerves jangling.

'He should be bloody thankful I happen to agree with him, or I wouldn't listen at all!' growled Sirius.

'He's Head Boy!' Lily hissed back.

'So?'

Marlene interrupted what was surely going to escalate into a stupendous row. 'Another time darlings, we're a little busy right now!' She slid open the door to the compartment they were passing and held her wand up, revealing four Ravenclaw third years huddled together and pressed against the wall. All four girls let out a piercing shriek that startled the five older students and made Lily's head hurt so much she thought she might pass out again.

'Okay, it's alright, for Merlin's sake SHUT THE HELL UP!' Frank tried his best to sound soothing, but lost his patience fairly quickly.

'It's okay kids, come on out.' Marlene's kind smile reassured the girls enough to have them slide out into the corridor. 'Go up the corridor that way, and don't stop until you see the Head Boy okay? He's going to tell you where to go then. You know James Potter don't you?' The girls all nodded quickly, and a gentle push from Marlene sent them on their way.

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The five of them continued along the train, checking compartments and sending panicked students up to the front of the train to be dealt with by James and the prefects. They encountered only two Inferi that were quickly dispatched by Sirius and Frank's liberal use of the Incendio charm.

They reached the last carriage and Lily checked her watch. It had only been fifteen to twenty minutes since she had left the prefects compartment with James, but it felt like hours. Frank slid the door to the final compartment open, held his wand up then immediately withdrew his hand, slammed the door shut again and held it closed.

'Three Inferi in there!'

'Any kids?' asked Peter urgently.

'No' responded Frank, still holding tightly onto the door handle. 'Just three creepy fucking zombies!'

A grey hand smashed through the window of the door, and reached for Frank, but was pulled back after a quick burst of flame from Marlene's wand hit it dead on.

'Okay, everybody get clear of the door; Frank, when I say, let go of and get out of the way quickly.' Sirius glanced round to check that everyone had done as he said. 'When they come out, hit them with any fire-based curse you can think of.'

He nodded grimly at Frank, who let go of the handle and moved rapidly in the direction of the others. The Inferi in the carriage smashed through the door and into the corridor, and were immediately hit by a variety of curses from five wands. They slowed, but didn't stop their advance.

Lily could feel herself faltering, the pain in her head was increasing, the nausea rising, and she wasn't sure how much energy she had left to pour into her magic. At the exact moment she thought she might lose consciousness she heard Peter shout.

'Everyone get two steps behind me!'

He spoke with a tone of authority which wasn't usually present in his voice, and Lily followed Marlene, Sirius and Frank as they stopped firing curses and moved behind Peter who was still holding a barrier of flame between them and the creatures. Once he knew they were all a safe distance behind him, he dropped his wall of fire and aimed his wand at the carriage linkage.

'Bombarda Maxima!'

The resulting explosion engulfed the carriage in flame, but more importantly it destroyed the linkage that connected that final carriage to the rest of the train; it began to roll down the track, still blazing, away from the dumbstruck seventh years that were left sprawled on the floor by the force of the blast, staring out the back of the train.

Sirius was first to find his voice. 'Bloody hell. I think Evans might _have_ to give you a detention for that one Pete.' He got to his feet and pulled Marlene up by her hands. Peter and Frank stood up quickly, the latter offering a hand to Lily, who refused it and pulled herself up using the door frame.

'Well, I see my presence is no longer necessary.'

The calm voice of Albus Dumbledore made them all jump, and they turned to see the Headmaster approaching them from down the corridor. He was idly flicking something that looked like a cigarette lighter as he walked, and as he moved down the corridor the lamps that he passed flickered and relit.

'Professor!' Lily was first to recover herself. 'We're terribly sorry about all the damage, but we had to do something...'

Dumbledore raised his hand to stop her. 'It's quite all right Miss Evans. I find myself enormously impressed by the resourcefulness shown by several of my students this evening. Repairing the damage to the train will be the work of but a few moments, and is infinitely preferable to what could have happened had the Inferi gone unchecked.'

The relief was palpable as all five of them realised that the terrifying situation was over and they had all come through it safely. As the adrenaline that had been coursing through her veins up till now drained away, Lily was struck with a horrifying thought; the people with her weren't the only people she was worried about. Frank voiced her concerns before she could.

'Professor, do you know if anybody was hurt?'

'There were several injuries, all relatively minor; concussions and broken bones seem to be the worst of it, although two students have very nasty cuts. Madam Pomfrey will deal with them as soon they arrive at school, but for now the injured parties are being organised into the prefect's carriage by the Head Boy. Who is unharmed, if you were worrying.' This last statement was spoken directly to Lily, and the knowing twinkle in his eye made her profoundly uncomfortable.

'Now, I shall repair the damage and we will get moving. You should all go and take your seats; the refreshment trolley will come around shortly, and there will be no charge to any student this evening.'

The Headmaster smiled at them, and they turned and wandered back along the corridor, which had already been returned to its original state, all of them too drained to speak. Lily paused outside the girl's toilets. 'I'll catch up with you.'

There were nods and smiles from the others who continued to move towards the front of the train, and Lily slipped into the toilets and shut and locked the door. Then she wrapped her arms round herself, put her back to the door, slowly slid to the floor and began to tremble uncontrollably.

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When the shakes she had been holding in for so long finally subsided and she had a grip on herself again, Lily carefully picked herself up from the floor and walked over to the mirrors, where she splashed some water on her face. The sick feeling in her stomach and the dull thumping in her head were still there, but she could summon no energy for a charm to deal with them.

She left the toilets and began the search for her friends, glancing into each compartment she passed. She eventually found them in the compartment nearest the prefects carriage, at the very front of the train. Looking in she could see Remus, Peter, Marlene and Alice playing Exploding Snap; Frank was sat behind Alice, watching her cards over her shoulder and mouthing them to Remus. Sirius and James were both lounging on the bench seats, watching Alice's frustration at being soundly beaten with unspoken amusement.

She pushed the door open and everyone looked up at the sound; she gave them an unconvincing smile. James watched her enter the compartment with a huge sense of relief and he slid along the seat to make room for her to sit next to him. She sat between him and the increasingly competitive card game and turned her head to watch; as she did he caught sight of a clump of matted hair behind her left ear.

'What's that in your hair?' He reached out to touch it and realised to his horror that there was blood on his fingers as he drew them away. _Her_ blood. 'Shit, Lil, you're bleeding!'

He slid closer to her on the seat until they were almost touching, then he pulled his sleeve down over his hand and pressed it to the sore patch on her head. She let out a brief hiss of pain as the material made contact with the open wound. 'What happened?' he demanded.

'Hit my head when the train tilted – according to Black here it knocked me out cold.' She jerked her head to indicate Sirius and immediately wished she hadn't; her stomach clenched and the wave of dizziness that hit had her unconsciously swaying into James for balance.

He turned a fierce glare on Sirius. 'You didn't say she was hurt you complete arse!'

'I forgot!' Sirius protested. 'She seemed alright once I'd woken her up; bit wobbly, but fine. How was I supposed to know her head was giving her grief?'

Giving Sirius one last dirty look, James turned his attention back to Lily's head. 'Hold still for me, there's a love.' He put his left hand on her right cheek and tangled his right in her hair to hold her in place, then ran the thumb of his right hand over the weeping cut. Three times, then four and as his thumb swept over for the fifth time she felt the cut close and the throbbing ache and nausea subside.

'Thank you.' Her voice sounded stronger and as James leant back to look at her he was pleased to observe that there was already far more colour in her face than there had been when she'd come in.

'You're welcome.' Realising that the card game had stopped while everyone looked at them curiously - and studiously ignoring Remus' astute gaze - James untangled his hands from her hair and face and slid a few inches further away from her. 'You probably want to wash your hair though.'

Lily reached a hand up to the blood-soaked patch of hair and grimaced. She groped in her pocket for her wand and extracted it with a flourish. 'Scourgify.' She aimed it directly at her hair and it was instantly clean and shiny again, holding no trace of sweat or grime or blood - though James noted to his disapproval that it was lacking its usual coconut scent.

'No wonder you're Flitwick's little charm princess.' griped Marlene. 'I cannot master those bloody household spells.'

Lily smirked at her, and the tension in the room diffused as the Exploding Snap game resumed and the insults flowed. Five minutes later Peter had lost an eyebrow and Marlene had singed the ends of her long blonde hair.

Remus cleared his throat. 'So who's going to say it?' he enquired.

'I'm not.' Sirius answered immediately.

'Or me.' responded James. 'I don't even want to think about it.'

'Fine, I'll say it.' piped up Peter from his seat in the corner as he laid a card and Alice's fingers got soot-stained. Ignoring the confused looks on the faces of everybody who _wasn't _a Marauder, he continued. 'It was too easy.'

'_What_ was too easy?' asked Alice in exasperation as she tried to clean her hands up on Franks school tie.

'The whole Inferi thing.' Remus answered. 'I don't think it was a serious attempt to attack the train. Let's be honest, we managed to fight them off with almost no injuries.'

'There weren't very many really. Not for the number of people on the train, and think, all the seventh years are of age and are pretty good at magic by now. Or they should be.' Sirius butted in. 'Why send so few? Enough could have finished us off good and proper.'

'What confuses me...' Marlene picked up the conversation 'is that there's only one person likely to have set a load of Inferi on a train full of schoolchildren, agreed?' This met with solemn nods all round. 'But the thing is...there are future Death Eaters on this train. Children of _current_ Death Eaters are on this train, and you can't teach an Inferius to tell the difference. Would he risk wiping out some of his own supporters?'

'That's just one more tick in the "wasn't a serious attempt" column.' James spoke next. 'Send enough to rattle everyone and cause a few injuries, but not enough to pose a serious risk.'

'But why?' asked Alice.

'Honestly?' James spoke again. 'If I had to guess, I'd say it was a message.'

'What kind of message though?' asked Marlene. 'What's he saying?'

Lily spoke up for the first time. 'He's saying "I can get your kids".' She looked round at the faces of her friends. 'Think about it. How many parents waved their kids off to Hogwarts today thinking "Thank Merlin, they'll be safe there, with Dumbledore"? Attacking the train could be his way of letting people know that he can still find a way to get to them if he really wants to. It's leverage.'

Sirius had been staring at her incredulously. 'You know Evans, I'm quite glad you're on our side. You're bloody diabolical.'

'She's more than likely right though.' Remus nodded his approval of Lily's theory. 'It's an extremely effective scare tactic.'

'Should we tell Dumbledore do you think?' asked Peter.

'I can't imagine he hasn't thought of it, but maybe it would be worth mentioning it to see how he reacts. He might even confirm it for us.' Remus turned to James. 'That might be a job for you, Your Almighty Headship.'

'Fuck off Moony.'

There were a few titters at that, and then one of Remus' cards exploded, taking half the table and a chunk of his hair with it, and the sombre mood dissipated temporarily as every one of them fell about laughing.

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**A/N: I feel like I need to add a quick note about Peter in here; I know he tends to get left out of a lot of these fics, and when he _is_ in them he's an awful person, but that's just not how I see it. In the HP books he's a pretty despicable human being, but that's over fifteen years after this, and I don't think he could always have been like that. I can't see how he would have been friends with the others if that was the case, and based on the evidence - he was sorted into Gryffindor, he became an animagus to help Remus - he had to have some good qualities. I've always thought it more likely that he changed _after_ Hogwarts. So I've included him in this with the personality I think he might have had _then_, rather than the personality he had when Harry knew him - I hope that doesn't upset anybody. If it does, leave me a review (be nice), maybe you'll convince me!**


	14. Chapter 14 - Snape

**A/N: Another chapter for you! I'm getting good at this regular update thing huh?**

** I just want to say quickly that I love getting your reviews, I really do read and appreciate every single one, and in fact I often re-read them as I'm writing a new chapter; it's really great inspiration when I'm having a little bit of writer's block. So an enormous thank you to everyone who leaves one, as I wouldn't be anywhere _near_ this far through the story without you. You guys are better than chocolate cake X**

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Amazingly enough the students' arrival at Hogwarts was only delayed by 45 minutes by the occurrences on the train, and Madam Pomfrey almost seemed disappointed by the lack of serious injuries to treat. In the absence of the large number of patients she seemed to have prepared for the nurse settled for drastically over-medicating the ones she did have, forcing all of them into beds in the hospital wing and dosing them liberally with several varieties of healing potion.

'Remind me not to get sick in the next few days, there's no bloody room in here!' James whispered to Lily, obviously not as quietly as he thought since Madam Pomfrey loudly informed them that the Head Students were no longer required now she had taken over care of the injured parties. They gratefully fled the hospital wing, heading directly to the Great Hall and the start of term feast. They had almost reached the double doors when a voice came from the stairs behind them.

'Potter! Miss Evans!'

James visibly winced as he recognised the voice of Professor McGonagall. He didn't think she'd ever managed to find a reason to shout at him this early in the school year before, and he couldn't help mentally re-visiting all the things she might possibly have found out about over the summer.

'I'm glad I caught you.' The lady in question arrived at the double doors and looked at them sternly. James reminded himself that she had been looking for _both_ of them, and it was highly unlikely that Lily had done anything wrong. 'Professor Dumbledore has requested that you meet with him in his office in half an hour. He is sorry to hurry you from the feast, but there are matters he needs to discuss with you this evening. The password is "Fizzing Whizzbee".'

'Of course Professor.' Lily answered for them both. 'I'm sure whatever Professor Dumbledore needs to speak with us about is more important than James eating his own bodyweight in chocolate fudge cake.'

James contrived to look hurt but failed miserably, and Professor McGonagall just managed to hide a smile. 'I'm glad to see that you will both be taking your appointments seriously.' She allowed the smile to spread and spoke in softer tones than either of them had ever heard her use before. 'I would like to let you both know how proud I am; do you know how rare it is for both Head Students to be from the same house? I'm not sure I've ever been more pleased to be Head of Gryffindor.'

She stepped forward, opened one of the doors and gestured them through. James and Lily walked into the noise of the feast towards their friends at the Gryffindor table, and he bent down to whisper in her ear as they walked. 'We'll see if she's still proud in a few weeks when I've managed to royally fuck this up. Is it possible for a Head Boy to be impeached?'

Lily laughed and linked her arm through his. 'Like I'd let you go that far wrong. I need you James, 'cause I really don't fancy the alternatives.'

'Does that mean you _do_ fancy me Evans?' teased James. 'Knew you'd come round.' Lily punched him in the arm and they sat down at the table, ignoring the raised eyebrows of their friends as James teased her mercilessly about "kissing it better".

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Twenty minutes later Lily was stood behind James, arms folded and foot tapping impatiently as she tried to hurry him along with his dessert.

'You cannot _hurry _apple crumble Evans, it's a sin against man and Gods.'

'We have less than ten minutes to get to Dumbledore's office, so if you could stop shovelling food down your throat and move, I'd be eternally grateful!'

'Eternally?'

'My hand is on my wand Potter!' An exasperated Lily hissed the words out, her face flushing as several nearby students looked up.

'Fine, I'm moving, I'm moving.' He picked up his bowl and spoon. 'But I am bringing this with me, because not even Dumbledore is going to keep me from finishing a meal.'

He followed in Lily's wake as she marched from the Great Hall, idly spooning the last of his dessert and giving off an air of total unconcern. He abandoned his empty bowl on a windowsill in the hallway and sped up to catch up with Lily. He fell into step alongside her and they walked in silence for a moment.

'Are you actually mad at me, or are you just unable to walk this fast and talk at the same time?' he asked finally after two minutes of silence.

'I'm not mad at you, I just don't want to be late. I still can't believe I was late this morning, and I don't want anyone to think I'm not taking this seriously.' Lily stared straight ahead as she spoke and didn't slow down her pace for a second.

'As if anyone would ever think _you_ weren't being serious about your responsibilities. And you aren't going to be late, just stop a second okay?' James had paused beside a large tapestry of King Arthur and was tapping his wand against the image of the Round Table.

'What are you doing James?' Lily heard the nagging tone in her voice and hated how much she sounded like Petunia in that moment, but she was feeling incredibly frustrated with the evening's events.

'Ha!' James triumphantly swung a section of the tapestry open to reveal a low corridor. 'Shortcut. Comes out behind that suit of armour opposite the Headmaster's office.' He gestured for her to go ahead into the tunnel. 'Ladies first.'

'Yeah, ladies first to be eaten by giant spider hiding in gross dusty hidden passage you mean.'

'I think you may have just insulted my daring, nerve and chivalry all in one go there Lil. Hit a Gryffindor where it hurts why don't you?' He grinned at her. 'I've used it before, it's fine.'

Rolling her eyes at him, she illuminated the tip of her wand and stepped into the passage.

She had to admit he was right. What would have taken the best part of ten minutes took only two or three using James' shortcut, and the two of them found themselves outside Dumbledore's office door a minute or two early. James knocked and a quiet voice from inside invited them to enter.

Professor Dumbledore's office looked like a cross between a thrift store and a library. There were bookcases everywhere, and the shelves were full of strange items and ancient books; portraits of former Head teachers covered the walls and glass cabinets held strange vials. In the centre of the room was the Headmaster himself, seated behind a desk made of old, scarred oak.

'Mr Potter, Miss Evans, please sit down.' He gestured to the two armchairs opposite his desk, and they sank down into the cushions. 'May I again extend my thanks to you both for your actions this evening? Had I entertained any doubts – I had not, by the way – about the wisdom of my appointments this year, they would most certainly have been laid to rest today. You showed innate leadership skills and enormous concern for the safety and well-being of others. Points are being awarded as we speak.'

Dumbledore rested his elbows on the edge of his desk and interlocked the fingers of both hands. Peering over the top of his glasses he addressed them again, his expression serious. 'Now, I must ask you to tell me in your own words exactly what you saw on the train this evening.'

They exchanged glances and by unspoken agreement, James began to speak. He described the lights going out, how they had organised the prefects, and what the driver had told him. He described how he and Lily had gone to check on things and had encountered Inferi, and explained that they had split up and found other students to help. Lily added a little about how her group had tackled the Inferi, and ended by explaining Peter's wholesale destruction of the train carriage. Even James looked impressed with her description of his friend's incendiary abilities. When they had both given exhaustive accounts of the events, they waited for Dumbledore to respond but he remained silent, his eyes were thoughtful.

'May I ask a question Professor?' asked Lily hesitantly.

'You may Miss Evans, though whether I will answer it is, of course, another matter.' The Headmaster smiled kindly, and some of the twinkle returned to his eyes as he gestured for her to continue speaking.

'I was just wondering what could have caused the train to rock? It would have taken a lot more Inferi than we saw to move something that size.'

'An excellent question Miss Evans, and I am afraid that I cannot answer it. I have several ideas, none of them palatable, and I would not wish to subject you to my unsubstantiated wonderings.' The Headmaster unclasped his hands and stood quickly. 'Well, I will not detain you further this evening. Thank you both for your thorough and concise accounts, they have been most useful. Now, I believe the only thing that remains is for me to give you the password for your new dormitory.'

James and Lily exchanged blank looks. 'Our new dormitory?' ventured James. Neither of them had known any of the previous Head's well enough to notice that they had different sleeping arrangements to the rest of the pupils.

'The Head's dormitory, dear boy. It is directly behind the Head's offices, which I'm sure you are familiar with.' He attempted to aim a stern look at James, but was given away by the amused twinkling in his eyes. 'Behind the portrait of Hecate in the Head's office is the entrance to the common room and the stairs leading to your private rooms and bathrooms. Of course you are still welcome to use the Gryffindor common room whenever you choose, but your assigned quarters are the Head's dorms.' He paused for a moment as he stepped away from his desk towards one of his bookcases. 'The password is 'Lionheart' although of course you are at liberty to change it to anything you wish. You can also set passwords for your individual rooms if you wish, but that will be a private matter between yourselves.' He turned to his shelves and selected an old leather bound book. 'Your belongings have already been moved in, and I have taken the liberty of having the house elves place some snacks in your common room since I so rudely pulled you away from the feast so early.' He retook his seat and smiled at them. 'A very good evening to you both.'

Taking the hint, the two of them turned and headed for the door. As they reached it, James turned back to face Dumbledore once more. 'Professor...is it possible that the attack on the train was just an elaborate scare tactic? Just a demonstration that people aren't as safe as they think they are?'

He smiled sadly. 'I wish it were that simple James. I really do.'

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The two Heads didn't speak another word until they were halfway down the stairs.

'Well, bang goes our theory then.' said Lily 'Shame. I was silently congratulating myself on our deductive reasoning too.'

'I wouldn't write it off just yet, Evans.' James replied grimly. 'Didn't you notice he avoided saying whether he thought we were right or wrong? Just said there was more to it that that, which makes me think we're _partly_ right. He must have more information to work with than we do after all.'

They reached the bottom of the stairs and turned in the direction of the Heads' office.

'Huh. That actually makes me feel better.' Lily pulled her wand from her pocket, reached up with both hands and pulled her hair back. She twisted it up into a knot and stuck her wand through it to hold it in place.

'Novel use of a wand there Lil.' commented James. 'Very chic.'

'Thanks for the critique.' The sarcasm positively dripped from Lily's voice. 'My hair has been covered in blood, sweat and dirt today, and it may look clean but it feels disgusting. I can't handle it dangling round my face anymore.'

James observed her out of the corner of his eye as they walked. She was a little paler than usual he thought, and he was pretty sure she hadn't eaten anything at dinner. He could see the faint outline of the cut above her ear and it reminded him that she had been hurt today and that he could probably be nicer to her.

'Well, you're the only one who knows if it feels disgusting, but if it helps it looks as beautiful as always.' He reached out and squeezed her hand affectionately. 'How's your head?'

'Ok. Bit sore but no dizziness or headaches or anything. Oh, and I no longer feel seasick on dry land, so that's something to be happy about isn't it?'

James laughed and she turned her head to look at his profile. His dark hair was even messier than usual, and his tiredness showed in his posture; the slight hunching of his shoulders, the slumping of his head. 'Did I say thank you?'

'You did.' He confirmed. 'But you weren't totally coherent at the time, so I'd have forgiven you even if you hadn't.'

She reached out and touched the hand that was spinning his wand around as he walked. 'Thank you.'

His wand stopped twirling and he made eye contact with her for a second as they walked. 'You're welcome Lil. Any time.'

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Lily didn't think she'd ever appreciated a shower more. She was wonderfully, gloriously clean and she had felt some of the tiredness, some of the terror and panic wash away as she had stood under the hot water. The tea and cake provided by the house elves had certainly also contributed to the upswing in her mood, but she supposed at the heart of it she was simply happy to be at Hogwarts again.

Taming her wet hair by catching it in her favoured long braid she moved across her new room and pulled jeans and a jumper from her closet. It was decorated much like the girls' dorm in Gryffindor Tower had been; it was just slightly smaller and contained a private study area that she was sure to be grateful for as NEWTS approached. Pulling her jumper over her head, Lily headed for the stairs and the common room.

James was already in there and his damp hair was testament to the fact that he had felt the need to shower the day's grime off also. He was sat in one of the armchairs nearest the fire, hunched over the low table and scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment.

'Catching up on homework?' Lily's voice made him jump and he dropped his quill. Bending to retrieve it he caught sight of her wet hair at exactly the same time his nose registered the smell of coconut and vanilla. _Don't think about her in the shower, do not think about her in the shower..._

'Even I'm not that far behind to still be catching up on last years. Wormy might be though.' He held up the parchment for her to see. 'I'm going to hold Quidditch tryouts on Saturday. I was just on my way to put this on the notice board in the Tower.'

'I'll walk with you, I was going that way anyway to see Marly and Alice. And by see I mean gloat about my private bathroom.'

They left the Heads' office and headed towards Gryffindor Tower, which luckily was actually the closest common room to their new dorms.

'Isn't it a bit early?' James threw Lily a confused look and she was forced to elaborate on her question. 'Isn't it quite early to be holding Quidditch tryouts? I thought you'd want to give people longer to think about coming, you know get more candidates.'

'Fewer the bloody better as far as I'm concerned. Last year's seeker tryout was a fiasco, half of them couldn't fly. I'm trying to get it over with early so I've got maximum amount of time to work with them before the first match.' He groaned and fisted a hand in his hair. 'I've got to replace three players this year, and it's going to be hell. The beaters are going to be the worst of it.'

'Really? Why?'

'Because whoever I pick has to work with Sirius, and he's a prick.'

'He's your best mate.'

'When it comes to Quidditch, I'm the Captain and he's a prick.'

Lily laughed, then jumped nervously and stopped dead as a shadow moved on her left and a shadowy figure stepped out of an alcove. Obviously her nerves were not quite as well recovered as she'd thought.

'Snape.' James stopped walking and acknowledged the Slytherin in the coldest tone of voice Lily had ever heard him use.

'I need a word with you Lily.'

'I don't think there's anything left to say Severus.' Lily tried her hardest to make her voice as cold and hard as James' had been, but she couldn't hide the slight tremble in it as she looked at the boy who'd once been her best and only friend.

'I just need a moment.' He hesitated and glanced once at James. 'In private.'

James' whole body stiffened for a moment and he unconsciously angled his body towards Lily, silently lending her his support and waiting for her decision while never taking his eyes off the other boy.

'One minute.' She said finally. She needed to be able to do this, to not be upset by his presence any more. 'I'll catch up with you James.'

'No need. I'll wait at the end of the corridor.' He turned his eyes to Lily as he spoke, and she knew him well enough by now to hear the double meaning in his words. He moved towards the Tower and Lily found herself alone with Snape.

'Well?'

Snape's eyes followed James as he moved to a discreet distance and stopped. 'You've changed your tune I see. _James _now is it_?_'

Lily's eyes narrowed and she folded her arms crossly. 'Stop editorialising and say your piece Severus. My choices don't concern you anymore, just as yours don't concern me. Otherwise I might ask you some awkward questions about what happened on the train tonight.'

Snape glowered straight back at her, colour rising in his face at her accusation. 'Dumbledore has hung you out to dry by making you Head Girl Lily. He's put you up on a pedestal like some sort of beacon for blood unity, and there are some people in this school who are only interested in knocking you off it!'

'All sat in your common room I imagine?' asked Lily coolly.

'That doesn't matter!' Snape growled. His face was growing redder by the minute. 'If you have any thoughts about your own safety at all you'll quit now.'

'I'm not quitting. I _earned_ this, and I'm not going to let a bunch of bigoted cowards take it from me.' Lily jutted her jaw out stubbornly.

'You're being ridiculous Lily! Dumbledore's only made things worse pairing you with Potter, that blood traitor bastard! He's about the only person the blood-purists hate more than...' he trailed off.

'Than mudbloods Severus?' Lily asked. Her voice was quiet, and was all the more effective for it. 'Is that what you were going to say?'

'Lily...'

'_No_.' The firmness in her tone surprised even her. 'You've had your say, now I'll have mine. _I'm not quitting_. I won't be bullied, not by you, not by your Death Eater pals. If they want to have a go, they're welcome to try!. She took a deep breath. 'And as for that _blood traitor bastard_' her voice shook with rage 'I would put my _life_ in his hands without a second thought.'

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off before he could get out a syllable. 'I've needed to say this for a while Severus, so _shut the hell up!_ You were the person who explained the magical world to me and I was so grateful to have a friend who understood. But you only ever told me what it suited you to tell me; you gave me a twisted view of the magical world before I ever came to Hogwarts; you did your best to pass your prejudices about others on to me and you tried to isolate me from everyone else.'

Her face had grown redder, and her voice had become a veritable hiss of repressed fury. 'I was _never_ your friend - I was your possession.' Snape inhaled sharply and drew himself upright. Lily held up her hand for silence. 'And I refuse to be your victim anymore.'

She took two steps back, still facing him, then spun on her heel and walked towards the spot where James stood waiting patiently. He glared at Snape as she approached, and when she reached him he dropped a comforting arm around her shoulder and led her away, tilting his head towards her and murmuring soothing words.

Snape watched them go, and felt the icy-hot rage burn. His hands shook with it. Another little piece of his heart froze over, and another part of his soul twisted and hardened.

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**A/N: Sooo. Snape. I feel like I should say here that I'm probably going to be writing him a little less sympathetically than a lot of others do. I do accept that he 'loved' Lily, but I don't think it was a healthy kind of love. The implication I got from The Prince's Tale was that he was obsessed and more than a little possessive, and I think he did try to keep her isolated and dependent on him. He certainly never supported her making own choices without his interference. So, he's probably going to be a bit of a git in this. Fair warning. As always, I'd love to hear if you agree or disagree with me!**

**Also, have I mentioned how hard I find it to write Dumbledore? He's this weird mixture of ancient wisdom and youthful humour, and it's incredibly hard to express. I hope he wasn't off-putting or anything in this.**


	15. Chapter 15 - Trials

**A/N: You guys. Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. I got _so_ many more reviews than I expected for the last chapter, and I was practically doing a happy dance over the last couple of days as I read them all. Thank you to everyone who is reading, following, favouriting or reviewing.  
**

**Anyway, another chapter for you, and the next one is more or less finished too, so you can expect the next update probably midweek.**

**Oh and Hafsa? Funny you should say that actually...**

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Breakfast in the Great Hall was briefly interrupted on Saturday morning by the arrival of the Head Boy. Already in his Quidditch practice uniform, he slammed open the doors with a loud bang and stormed his way up the length of the Gryffindor table until he reached the Head Girl, who was quietly reading a book over breakfast. He straddled the bench next to her, flung the newspaper he had been carrying down directly in front of her, folded his arms and scowled at the room in general.

Lily was still holding her glass of juice in mid-air, her eyebrows raised in an expression of bewilderment. 'Did someone break your broomstick?'

'Funny. Read the front page and see what it does for your sense of humour.' He cocked an eyebrow in the direction of his discarded newspaper, and she pulled it over and unfolded it.

**'IS DUMBLEDORE LOSING THE PLOT?' **

The headline screamed from the top of the page, and Lily quickly read the accompanying article.

It more or less outlined what had happened on the train last week, and attributed the attack purely to Dumbledore's incompetence at protecting his pupils. It was the last paragraph however, that had particularly provoked James' ire, and Lily could feel her temper rising to meet his as she read it. The author of the piece – a Matilda Meeking, apparently – had felt the need to make an extended comment on Dumbledore's choice of Head Students. The last paragraph in particular ignited her fury.

_"As neither of this year's Heads have any measurable talent to recommend them for the position, we can only assume that Dumbledore is now appointing students to positions of authority within the school for his own dubious reasons. Parents have reason to be concerned that these particular students were not good choices, as the debacle on the Hogwart's Express clearly demonstrates."_

Lily met James' eyes, and he saw the same outrage in her eyes that he had felt rolling in his stomach since he had read the paper half an hour ago.

'How bloody dare she?' Lily choked out the words, almost too angry to speak. 'She knows nothing – _nothing _– about you, me or Dumbledore. Who does she think could do a better job protecting this school? Parents send their kids here because they know it's safe; and it's safe because of him!'

'I _know_ love. There's no point telling me, I'm as angry as you are.' He took in her clenched fists and fuming face, and he sighed. He hadn't meant to rile her up this much, just to prepare her for the inevitable taunts from some elements within the school. He should have given himself a bit longer to calm down before he spoke to her.

'Look.' He reached out and pushed some of her hair back from her face. 'You and I know it's not true, and so does everyone who matters. You _earned_ this, no matter what some old hag writes in the paper. Everyone here knows what happened on that train couldn't have been prevented.' She was biting her lip so hard he was surprised she hadn't drawn blood.

'I just don't understand. No-one outside of Hogwarts has given a damn about Head Students appointments before.' She paused for a moment to take a sip of her juice; she could feel the colour slowly leaving her face, could no longer hear her blood pulsing through her temples, but the flush of anger ebbing away left nothing to drown the misery of being judged. 'Of course it's been a while since there was a Muggleborn Head Girl.'

'I wish I could tell you that your blood status has nothing to do with this, but I can't. It might.' He reached out and covered one of her clenched fists with his hand. 'My family has been magic for generations, but not one of us could tell you when or where it started. And that's the only difference between a pure-blood and a muggle-born – our origins are so lost in time that no-one can blame us for them. That's the truth of it Lily. But there will always be people who say otherwise and they are just bigots who aren't worth a damn anyway. Though they are always worth a good hex.'

He was looking directly at her and speaking gently, making it clear that he meant to be supportive; defensiveness had tightened up her shoulders and her face held that closed-off expression she sometimes had around the Slytherins, although he didn't think she was aware of it. He tried to steer the conversation back to safer ground. 'If it makes you feel any better, Ms Meeking doesn't seem to like me or Dumbledore either, and we're both pure-bloods. It's entirely possible that she's just an enormous bitch.'

Lily snorted. 'Possible?'

Relieved to see a semblance of good humour restored, James grinned at her. 'Okay, probable. She's an ugly, possibly sexually-frustrated old bitch.'

Lily rolled her eyes at him and closed her book, sliding it off the table and into her bag. Seeing her preparing to leave reminded him he had places to be. He stood up and picked up her bag. 'Walk down to Quidditch with me? I wanted to ask you about something privately.'

She stiffened for a moment, but quickly shook it off. She had to stop reading too much into things James said. He'd obviously put their somewhat rocky history behind him, and it was about time she let go of it too; he wasn't going to say or do anything to upset her or make her uncomfortable. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt uncomfortable around him. So she nodded and gave him a tight little smile, and they left the hall together.

From the Slytherin table, Severus Snape watched them go, his dark eyes narrowed. He wasn't the only one at his table to be watching them by any means, and he certainly wasn't the only one to feel a towering resentment towards them, but he was the only one for whom that resentment was irrevocably mixed with loss and grief, the only one whose pain at the sight outstripped his anger.

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Lily couldn't deny she felt better once she got outside. She loved the castle, but there were times when even a building of that size could feel confining and only open space would do. She'd always felt it was a shame that she wasn't more at home on a broomstick, because flying in all that open air looked wonderful. It was something that she envied James. Glancing at the boy in question, who had yet to open his mouth since they'd left the Great Hall and was marching somewhat grimly along she decided to prod the conversation along.

'So what did you need to talk about? Is something wrong?'

His pace slowed slightly, and he seemed to be chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered his response. 'I'm not sure actually. I wanted to ask you...is Marly okay?'

'Marly?' She had to admit she was startled by the question. 'She's fine. You know, as much as can be expected. Almost her old self again. She asked me about my sex life yesterday, so that's probably a good sign.'

When that didn't extract even a faint smile from James, she knew there was something wrong. 'Do you think she isn't okay?'

'I don't know. I think she's avoiding me. It's like she catches sight of me and runs in the other direction, she sits as far away from me as possible in class.' He groaned. 'Honestly, you birds are completely mental. I have no idea what I could possibly have done!'

Lily gave him an exasperated look - though privately she could admit that his ongoing concern for Marly's well-being made her heart melt a little - and shook her head. 'Really? You think she's avoiding _you_? Are you blind? You complete prat Potter, it has nothing to do with you.'

'Well, what the bloody fucking hell is going on with her then, because I'll tell you Evans, I'm getting tired of seeing the back of her head as she legs it away down a corridor!'

'She's avoiding _Sirius_. She likes him. She realised when she was staying with you and now she's beyond mortified that he saw her looking such a mess over the summer. If you could remove the leech otherwise known as Sirius Black from your person from time to time, you'd see more of her.'

'That's it? Bloody Merlin, mental isn't the word for it.' He looked sideways at Lily. 'Do I assume that I have been told that in confidence?'

'Yes James, because if Sirius finds out from anyone other than Marlene I will know exactly who told him, and I will curse you until bits start dropping off, and I am not fussy about which bits, understand?'

'Message received love.' He gave her a wide, dazzling grin, and it struck her that she never used to understand why so many girls seemed to have palpitations when he aimed that smile at them, but she _did_ understand now. On a grassy path outside Hogwarts, for the first time ever, Lily Evans admitted to herself that James Potter was extremely good-looking.

'Right then.' They had reached the turn-off for the pitch, and she stopped walking and spoke brusquely, praying that her sudden revelation wasn't making her visibly blush; it would help, she thought, if she could get her hormones under control long enough to stop looking at him. 'If that's everything, I'll head back now.'

He gave her a look of utter confusion. 'But the pitch is this way!'

'I'm not coming to tryouts.'

'What?' He looked shell-shocked. 'Why not?'

'Because much as I enjoy watching Quidditch, I don't see how watching you bellow yourself hoarse at a group of optimistic idiots is going to be entertaining.'

'Well your presence might make things more bearable for _me_.' He gave her a pleading look. Those ridiculously appealing eyes gave her his best pitiable expression and she wavered. Sensing weakness, he took a step closer, just close enough for her to be able to smell that mixture of soap and forest his skin always seemed to give off. 'You can scribe for me. Padfoot is awful at it, he just writes sexual innuendos against each name, I can't read Frank's writing and anyway he and Marly are running the drills.' He looked at her hopefully, eyes shining with sincerity and the wind ruffling his hair. Feeling her resistance crumble, she groaned loudly.

'All right.' She looked distastefully down the churned-up path towards the pitch and turned her attention back to him. 'But I need to go change my shoes, I wasn't planning on trekking through ankle-deep mud when I put these on this morning.'

James smiled at her again, and this time there was definitely a dangerous glint of mischief in his eyes. 'No time for that Evans, I have a better idea.'

He bent down, placed his shoulder directly into her hips, wrapped his arm around her legs and swung her up over his shoulder in one efficient movement. The motion momentarily knocked the breath out of her, and by the time she recovered her upper body was hanging down his back, her legs were held in his vice-like grip against his chest and she instinctively grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and held on.

Trying to ignore the fact that she was now in a prime position to shamelessly ogle the back of him, and that he really did smell _extremely _good, she used her very best "stern Head Girl" tone.

'James, put me down!'

He smiled to himself and kept walking. Years of battling with Lily Evans had given him a keen insight into when she was actually mad and when she was just trying to be. 'You aren't getting dirty are you?'

'Well no, but that is beside the point...'

'It's exactly the point Evans, you didn't want to ruin your shoes, and now you're not. Grin and bear it for a few minutes.' He walked on, and Lily noticed that he showed absolutely no sign of strain from carrying her and absolutely no sign of putting her down. Giving up, she loosened her grip on his shirt, let her body relax and tried to ignore the blood rushing to her head while preventing herself from giving in to the hysteria that the ridiculous situation seemed to provoke in her. Oblivious to Lily's nervous panics, James continued his unhurried saunter towards the Quidditch pitch.

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If Lily had been less engrossed in her book, she might have noticed that the Great Hall had been unusually empty for breakfast time on a Saturday; the reason for it became clear as they entered the Quidditch ground – at least a third of the student body had turned up to watch the tryouts. There were students from all four houses, and no doubt they had many and varying reasons for being there, but the main thing was – at least from Lily's point of view – that a third of the students at Hogwarts were witness to the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain walking onto the pitch with the Head Girl slung over one shoulder, laughing uncontrollably.

James walked straight to the centre of the pitch where Marly, Sirius and Frank were waiting, tilted Lily upright and started to slide her gently down his body to set her down.

'No!' She squealed and clamped her hands down on his shoulders. She was now held upright, pressed against his chest, hands gripping his shoulders tightly, feet dangling. His arm gripped her tightly to him, and he looked up at her curiously. 'You're not putting me down in the mud are you?'

He rolled his eyes at her and spoke in an exasperated tone of voice. 'Of course I am. I carried you all the way down the path just so I could drop you in a mud patch when we got here.' She continued to cling to him and he huffed out a breath. 'Pads, kick that ball case over here will you?'

Sirius obliged, his face set in a remarkably cheerful grin as he set the ball case on its side at James' feet. James set Lily's feet on the case and let go of her. He turned and walked to the side of the pitch, coming back with the chair that was usually set on the sidelines for the pointchecker. He set it down next to the case and gave Lily a sarcastic bow, indicating that she should sit. When she had, he gestured for Frank to hand her the clipboard and quill he was holding and turned to face the crowd of hopefuls that had turned to tryout. There were at least fifty.

He groaned and turned his face up to the sky.'This is going to be hell! How am I going to be able to keep track of this lot?'

'Give them numbers?' Lily's voice came from behind him.

'What?' He spun around to face her.

'It's what muggle sports teams do. Give each person a number on their back and then you don't have to keep track of who's who, you can just use their numbers.'

He strode over to her and grabbed her up in a hug. 'You're a bloody genius!' He settled her back in the chair. 'Please tell me you know a spell for that?'

She smiled playfully. 'I might do.'

'Brilliant.' He turned and yelled at the assembled group. 'Right you lot! My lovely assistant Lily - I'm sure you're all familiar with Lily - will be charming a number onto your backs, and you will be addressed by your number during tryouts. So, please form a line in front of her, and when you have received your number, go and stand with Frank if you are trying for a Chaser position, Sirius if you want to be a beater or Marlene if you are going for Keeper.'

The hopefuls jostled to form a line, and James sent his three friends to three different spots around the pitch. Marlene shot Lily a cheeky grin and wiggled her eyebrows as she went, and Lily knew that she was going to be thoroughly interrogated at some point.

Two hours later, Lily was forced to admit that while James may indeed have been bellowing solidly for the whole time, he showed no sign of becoming hoarse. The tryouts hadn't been too bad, at least in her opinion; she had sat there noting down the comments James had whispered in her ear as he sat on the ground next to her and watched the hopefuls flying, and then watched him fly drills with them in groups. James had seemed pleased with his options, and as he called everyone in to talk to them as a group, he actually looked quite smug.

'Right then, listen up!' James waited for the chattering to die down before he continued. 'The new team listing will be up on the notice board in the next couple of days so keep an eye.' He paused again. 'I've noticed quite a few of you have a lot of potential, but probably aren't ready for the team yet. So... I'm going to post a list of reserves as well. If you make the reserve list you will still train, but you will only play in matches if a member of the first team is unavailable. I can say that being a reserve this year may well increase your chances of making the team next year, and it's worth remembering that there will be at least four spots available, but of course you are free to refuse if you are asked to be an alternate.' He stopped talking and clapped his hands once. 'That's it everybody, thank you!'

There was a sudden burst of chatter as everyone realised that they were being dismissed and started to wonder off, many waving their hands and talking excitedly. Marly, Sirius and Frank joined James and Lily in the centre of the rapidly emptying pitch.

'Reserves?' said Frank incredulously.

'What?' James sounded defensive. 'It's a good idea.'

'I'm not saying it's not, it's just...unexpected. And time-consuming. You have a pretty full plate this year already.'

'I'll take some more of your patrols if you need me to.' Lily's voice piped in. The others turned to look at her incredulously, and she stubbornly returned their stares. 'What? If James needs me to, I will.'

Sirius hid a smile, but James turned the full wattage of his on Lily and reached for her hand. 'Thanks Lil. I'll try _not_ to need you to.' She returned his smile and squeezed his hand, ignoring Marly's narrowed eyes.

'And on the subject of being busy' said James turning back to the others 'we should get busier. I think it's time we got moving on what we discussed in July.' He gave them all a meaningful look, and noting their understanding turned to Frank, whose face only registered confusion. 'Sirius will fill you in, meet in the Head's Common room at 8? After dinner?' Everyone nodded their agreement and Frank and Sirius left, talking animatedly.

James turned to the two girls. 'Marls?'

'Yeah?' The girl in question stopped gathering up the ball case and looked at him. 'Think you could fill in Mary and Emma and drag them along tonight?'

'Sure. Of course.'

James bent to help her organise the Quidditch equipment, and noted to his surprise that Lily was doing the same. 'Lily, you don't have to stay and help love, we've got it.'

'I'm sure you do.' She gave him a sly smile. 'But I need you to carry me back to the castle remember?'

He laughed, but a faint blush stained the back of his neck and ears. Marly grinned to herself, and the three of them went back to collecting up the equipment.

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **__**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

At 7:50, Sirius and Peter were duelling with fake wands in the Head's common room, leaping across the furniture and spouting their own garbled version of pirate talk. Mary, Emma and Marlene were sat on the floor in front of the fire, watching their progress and laughing. Remus was picking through a box of Bertie's Beans and James and Lily were bent over the table checking through the prefect's rota for the next two months. Frank and Alice arrived a few minutes later, and the joking air dissipated as the group gathered to discuss serious business.

James ran through everything that had been discussed the day of the McKinnon's funeral for the benefit of those who weren't there, outlined what he, Lily and the others had been practising through the summer, and then they got down to the serious business of making a list of students they could potentially approach.

At just before nine Remus threw down the quill he'd been using to jot down names. 'I think we may as well leave it there for now. There's quite a few names here and we should get going anyway since it's nearly curfew.'

'Aw Moony, their Supreme Headships would get us out of trouble!' Sirius threw Lily a cheeky grin, and she stuck her tongue out at him and continued struggling to put her hair up, her wand gripped in one hand. 'Actually, I'd hang you out to dry Sirius.' There was a general rumble of laughter at that which died down as James stepped up behind her and batted her hands away. He pulled her hair back with both hands, twisted it up and stuck her wand though it to secure it. She craned her neck to look at him quizzically and he shrugged. 'Saw you do it once.'

They both became aware of the awkward silence in the room at roughly the same time and James cleared his throat. 'Right then you lot, bugger off. Remember, everyone keep an eye, and subtly sound out the people on the list. Except you Pads. Stay _away_ from everyone on the list.'

Sirius attempted to look offended and their friends all left, talking and laughing and teasing, leaving James and Lily alone in the common room. She began to tidy away the mess that the Marauders always seemed to leave behind them, and James tucked his hands in his pockets and watched her. As she brushed past him he reached out and caught her arm.

'Answer me something honestly Lil?' He looked her directly in the eye, and she nodded slowly. 'I'm not imagining this am I?'

'Imagining what?' She looked up at him, and there was something unreadable behind his hazel eyes.

'This.' He replied, using his index finger to gesture between them.

'I'm...I'm not really sure what you mean James...' She was backed up against the wall now, and before that point she hadn't even noticed that she was retreating, or that he was following.

'Really.' He planted a hand firmly on the wall on either side of her head and noticed her hands instinctively brace themselves against the wall behind her. He could see every detail on her face, all the way down to her dilated pupils. 'You have no idea?'

She swallowed hard, but couldn't seem to force any words out. 'I like you Lil.' he whispered, and he was so close she could feel his breath tickle her skin. 'I have for a long time. So I'm used to the idea of waiting for you to catch up. There's no rush. But in the meantime...'

He leaned down and kissed her, and any thoughts that had been forming in her head tumbled and fell away as her eyes fluttered shut and the world shrank down to just the two of them. His kiss was soft, and sweet, and his mouth tasted of raspberries and chocolate. He slid his hands down from the wall onto her shoulders, then brushed them down her arms and pulled her close to him. His arms wound around her back and held her tight; she didn't even register it when her arms reached around his neck to pull him closer, one of her hands sliding up into his hair. James was solid and warm, and somehow more real than anything had ever been before; everything smelled of him, and his fingertips were digging into her back, and it was like being engulfed, being surrounded by him, his taste, his feel, his muscles pressed against her soft curves. His lips moved against hers in perfect sync, brushing lightly against them, teasing and coaxing a response, and it was effortless to follow where he led her.

When he broke away from her the loss of his warmth on her lips and body was like a slap. She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth as she released her grip on him and stumbled back. He caught her wrists in his hands.

'Something to think about Lil. Just...let me know okay?' He lifted her hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to each palm. 'No rush.'

He let go of her hands and stepped away. He looked at her for a moment, then turned and headed up the stairs to his room, hands tucked in his pockets. Lily was still frozen, staring after him. She took two unthinking steps back until she felt the solid wall behind her. Then she slid down slowly until her backside hit the floor, and tilted her head back until it was resting on the wall and she was looking at the ceiling. 'Oh, bloody hell. Bloody, bloody hell.'

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **__**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**A/N: So, that's it for now, I hope you guys liked it, and as always I'd love to know what you think!**


	16. Chapter 16 - Cursed

**A/N: Another day, another chapter! If only that were true, I'm just not that fast. Your patience is appreciated.**

**I've been reading and re-reading this chapter for editing, and I can't work out what is bothering me, but I just feel like something isn't right about it. I'm not making it any better by going over and over it, so I thought I'd post it and move onto the next chapter. Hopefully it's still a decent read.**

**Once again, your reviews for the last chapter brightened my days.**

**Love and cupcakes to you all XXX**

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'Come on Lilikins, hurry up!' Marlene's eager voice echoed up the stairs from the Head's common room and Lily banged her head on the dresser in frustration.

'I will be there in two minutes Marly, have some patience will you?' She threw her pyjamas into her schoolbag and grabbed her toothbrush from her bathroom. Her books for tomorrow's classes were piled neatly on her desk and she toyed with taking them with her now, but decided she may as well pick them up on her way to lessons in the morning. At least that way she could drop her overnight things back in her room and not have to carry them around all day.

Satisfied with her packing, she left the room and headed down the stairs to where Marlene and Alice were waiting for her.

'Remind me again why I agreed to this?' she demanded as soon as she entered the room.

'Because you love us, and we miss you?' answered Alice. 'And you really want to come spend a night with us in your old dorm, just like old times. And because Marly would never have let you get a moment's peace otherwise.'

'Hey!' Marly elbowed Alice in the ribs. 'You make it sound like I'm pushy!'

'Pushy doesn't even begin to cover it Marls.' Replied Lily. 'You, my dear, are a veritable bulldozer.'

'What's a bulldozer? Is it for cows?' There was a half-suppressed snort of laughter from the sofa where James was pretending to read Quidditch Monthly and Marlene turned to scowl at him. 'Shut it Potter.' He raised his hands in submission without ever taking his eyes off his magazine.

'Never mind Marly, I don't think I could explain it.' Lily tucked her arm through Marlene's and squeezed. 'We love you anyway don't we Al?'

'Of course we do.' The brunette took Marly's other arm, and the three of them headed towards the door.

As they reached the portrait hole, Lily twisted her head back to look at James, who still hadn't looked up. They hadn't spoken properly since the...events of the night before, but she was sure he had been hiding a smile all day. 'Are you sure you don't mind taking my patrol tonight?'

He looked up at last and met her eyes briefly. 'No problem at all. Enjoy your night.' He looked straight back down, but she'd seen the sparkle of humour in his eyes and she aimed a scowl at him even though he couldn't see her, before the other girls pulled her out of the room.

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By eleven o'clock, Lily had eaten half a box of Honeyduke's chocolate, lost two games of exploding snap in a row and had laughed herself into near hysterics at Emma's graphic description of her most recent date's attempt to kiss her.

'...and I must have moved just quickly enough too. I mean honestly, he just _lunged_ at me, and I kind of dodged and before I know it he's on the floor groaning because he missed me entirely and hit his head on a suit of armour.'

Emma was laughing so hard she was having trouble getting the words out, and the other girls were lying on their backs almost crying with laughter. When they had calmed down, Lily sat up and reached for the bag of assorted sweets lying between them. 'So, should we assume that this traumatic experience has put you off dating forever Em?'

'Not bloody likely.' Emma's mouth curled into a smile. 'I could never go off men. I think I'll just steer clear of Hufflepuffs. Anyway, I'll need a date to the masquerade ball won't I?'

Lily groaned. 'Don't mention that bloody ball to me. I've been having conniptions about it ever since I got Dumbledore's note. A masquerade ball to follow the feast on Halloween sounds lovely until you find out you're responsible for organising it.'

'What's it for anyway? Why aren't we just having the normal feast?' Mary was lying on her back and attempting to throw Bertie Botts directly into her mouth. She always felt not being able to see the beans added an extra element of surprise.

'Some anniversary of something.' answered Lily vaguely with a shrug of her shoulders. 'They do it every ten years. It just had to fall during my tenure didn't it?'

'It won't be that bad Lil, the feast is going ahead so food's sorted, the Hall will be decorated anyway, you've only really got to do music and drinks haven't you?' Alice, ever the voice of reason, reached over for the half-eaten box of chocolates. 'I'm looking forward to it myself.'

'That's because it gives you a legitimate excuse to spend the whole night cuddled up with Frank, like the pair of lovebirds you are.' Marly reached over and pinched Alice's cheek. 'It's so cute!'

Alice slapped her hand away and Marly just laughed harder. 'Now I just need to manipulate Sirius into asking me to go with him.'

'That would be difficult.' Said Lily dryly. 'Since I hear you're still taking off in the other direction whenever you see him.'

'Where did you hear that?' demanded Marlene as the other three girls laughed. Lily raised an eyebrow. 'James.' Marly hissed his name. 'I'm going to kill him.'

'He thought you were avoiding _him_ Marly, he thought he'd upset you.' Lily sighed. 'Look, why don't you just get him to feel Sirius out for you? You know, he can just...give him a nudge in the right direction. Because, let's be honest here, Sirius is not good with subtlety.'

Marlene pondered for a second and the other girls waited patiently for her to mull it over. 'You might be right Lil. I'll try and get him on his own tomorrow.'

'Try him after lunch; he'll be in the Head's Office. He's supposed to be arranging the music for this idiotic dance and he was going to use his free period to contact "some people he knows".' Lily lay on her back and scowled at the ceiling. 'Stupid git.'

The other girls exchanged looks. They had all noticed the new-found friendliness between Lily and James, and they'd be lying if they hadn't all wondered how long it could last. Mary broke the silence.

'So, I'm assuming he's done something to upset you? And recently too, since you seemed friendly enough yesterday.' Emma managed to turn a laugh into an almost convincing cough. "Friendly enough" didn't really seem to convey the intimate ease with which James had touched Lily's hair yesterday.

Lily carried on staring at the ceiling, feeling her heart thump erratically as she replayed the kiss in her head. She needed to straighten herself out, and wouldn't it be best to talk it over with her friends? Because she couldn't just push it out of her mind. She'd tried that today, and it just kept ambushing her unexpectedly. She'd never been as close with Mary and Emma as she was with Marly and Alice, but she was sure she could trust all four of them with this.

'He kissed me.' The words sounded so simple when she said them, so how had this become so complicated?

There was a moment of silence as her four friends attempted to make sense of what had just come out of Lily's mouth.

'He what?' Alice couldn't get her voice much above the level of a whisper.

'After you all left yesterday. He just...kissed me.'

'Interesting. He looked extremely normal this evening. You know, not as if he'd been recently hexed.' Even though she couldn't see her, Lily could feel Marlene's eyes on her narrowed in appraisal.

'That would be because I _didn't_ hex him for it.' Lily kept her eyes squeezed shut as she waited for the girls to understand the implication.

'Oh my Merlin.' Emma's hand flew to her mouth in shock. 'He kissed you – _and you liked it!_'

The other three froze as they waited for Lily's vehement denial, and when it didn't come, when her eyes stayed glued shut, they dived on her, squealing and demanding details. Lily felt some of the confusion, some of the awkwardness leave as she submitted to merciless teasing and large amounts of extremely unhelpful advice.

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When Lily woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed was that she was not in her private room, but in her old bed in the Gryffindor dorms. The second was the pile of chocolate and snack wrappers all over the floor, evidence of just how much rubbish they'd eaten last night. The third - and the most alarming - was how bright the room seemed.

Reaching for her watch, she realised that there was only twenty minutes till morning classes started. Leaping out of bed, she used her wand to aim a jet of water at each of her friends in turn. They all cursed her loudly, but got moving quickly when they discovered the time.

Lily realised then that she still had to collect her books and homework from her room, and she ran out of the girl's dorm, shouting for them to tell Professor Flitwick that she would be there as quickly as possible. She raced through the corridors to the Head's offices then charged upstairs. Emptying her bag out onto her bed she threw her books in quickly, brushed her teeth and checked her reflection in the mirror.

Satisfied that she did not_ look_ like someone who had spent the whole of last night gossiping and eating herself stupid before oversleeping, she bolted down the stairs. James had already gone it seemed, and she was a little disappointed that he had. After all, if he'd still been there he probably would have had a short-cut for them. But he wasn't, so she headed for charms, using her normal route.

She arrived at the classroom a little out of breath, but only five minutes late. She noted that the other four had all made it before her and were already seated, and that Professor Flitwick hadn't arrived yet either. She collapsed into her chair next to Marlene and laid her head on the desk for a moment, trying to ignore the rumblings of hunger in her belly. She_ hated_ missing meals, it made her grumpy and distracted.

Two minutes later she lifted her head from her desk and looked round the room. Still no Flitwick, which was unusual, but everyone else seemed to be there apart from one very conspicuous person. The door swung open and Lily straightened up but instead of the professor James strode into the room, completely unhurried and unbothered by his lateness.

She had noticed it before, but she observed again now that everyone always looked at him. They were all watching him now; it was the James Potter effect - he walked into the room, and it was impossible to ignore him. Right at that moment, though, she really wished they all would as he walked directly up to her desk and stood in front of it. She looked up, and she could swear she could feel her friends' eyes burning into the back of her neck as they watched.

One side of his mouth lifted in a half-smile as he held out his hand and offered her something wrapped in a napkin. She took it from him and realised it was a chocolate chip croissant; she looked up sharply at the boy who'd just handed over her favourite breakfast. That little smile was still playing round the corner of his mouth. 'Couldn't let you starve could I?'

Without waiting for an answer, he dropped himself into the seat behind her and leant forward to whisper in her ear as she unwrapped her pastry. 'How was your girls' night then?'

Aware of the eyes of the other students on them, Lily kept her eyes front and carried on eating her breakfast. 'Peachy.'

'Talk about me?' His warm breath brushed her ear.

'No.' she lied outright, and at that moment Professor Flitwick arrived muttering apologies and explaining that he had been helping to clean up one of Peeves' pranks. The class came to attention and any chattering stopped, but a moment later a lily made out of paper landed on her desk. She picked it up, unfolded it and read one word in James' bold scrawl.

**Liar. **

She smiled to herself and pocketed the lily.

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By mid-September, James was certain that he was going to hex the very next person who said anything to him about the ball. He had made arrangements for the music, Lily had spoken to Flitwick about the decorations and had somehow managed to sweet-talk him into doing them all by himself, the feast would handle itself and James would be speaking to Rosmerta about supplying drinks and additional refreshments when they went to Hogsmeade next weekend. Everything was going smoothly, but_ Merlin _he was tired of hearing people bleating on about it.

He was pleased, though, with how easy it had been to convince Sirius to ask Marlene to go with him, _something he should be taking care of round about now_ thought James, checking his watch. Sirius had liked her for a while but had never considered asking her out for a multitude of reasons that he had explained to James, who had thought they were all absolute bollocks and had said so in no uncertain terms. A few hints that Marlene might be receptive to an invitation was all it had taken to convince him. Remus and Mary had decided to go together as friends since neither of them was currently interested in anyone and Pete had his eye on a sixth year Hufflepuff that James didn't think he'd ever even met.

That just left him. He scowled inwardly. It was certainly a contributing factor to his current bad mood that while he wasn't short on offers – he'd been asked twice just that morning – the girl he wanted to take was probably going to be murder to convince.

Things had been...different in the fortnight since he'd kissed her. Not _bad_ as such; they were as friendly as ever and he could swear that he sometimes caught her watching him when she thought he wasn't looking, but she gave no other indication that she was giving any thought to what he had said. She liked him, he _knew _she did, so why in the name of everything magical did she have to be so sodding stubborn about it?

As he walked towards his Arithmancy class, scuffing his shoes and glaring at everybody who made to approach him he caught sight of a flash of fiery hair rushing down the corridor in his direction. As a course of action presented itself, he grinned inwardly. Perhaps he was getting better at handling Lily Evans after all.

He assessed her progress along the corridor and, judging her speed, planted himself in one spot and waited.

'Oompf.' The breath rushed out of her in a groan as she collided with his solidly muscled chest. He caught an arm round her waist as her balance wobbled and she grabbed a fistful of his robes for support.

'Easy there love.' His voice was light and amused. 'You ought to slow down, or were you just in a rush to throw yourself at me?'

She glared up at him. 'I'm running late to supervise free period study hall, and you are making me later you bloody great goon!' She thumped his chest lightly. 'And you want to hurry it along if you don't want to be late too.'

'Well, I'm beyond brilliant at Arithmancy, so a few minutes won't make a difference will it? Anyway, I need your help.'

'Oh?' Curiousity piqued, she arched an eyebrow at him and waited for an explanation. At that exact moment she realised that they were stood in the middle of the corridor with his arm still around her waist, so she pulled him out of the flow of people into an alcove.

'Will you come to the ball with me?'

Of all the things he could have said, she hadn't been expecting that. Her mind went blank. 'What?'

He reached for her hand. 'We can just go as friends; I meant it when I said there's no rush. I'm not trying to push you.'

She could feel the blush creeping up her neck and on her cheeks as he casually reminded her of their...romantic interlude...of two weeks ago. He ran his hand lightly up and down her arm.

'Look, love, I've been asked to this ball by girls I've never even met! And I just bet you've had a few unwelcome offers too, am I right?' He waited for her to confirm his suspicions with a quick, slightly self-conscious nod. 'Then let's just go together, we can tell anyone who asks us we're going with someone and our problems are gone.'

She bit her lip and he sensed her hesitation, although he had no way of knowing that her worry at that point was how she'd get through an entire evening with him in such close proximity; vast quantities of Calming Solution seemed likely. He sighed and spoke in a weary tone of voice.

'I have Arithmancy next, and Professor Vector has kindly paired me with Roberta Watson, who will spend the next two hours dropping hints about how she would love to go to the ball with me. She's like a bloody praying mantis. So, just save me Lil, and say yes, would you?'

At that point Lily made the fatal mistake of looking up into his hazel eyes, which were large and soft as they looked at her imploringly. Three weeks of living with James Potter had taught her that if you wanted to win an argument with him, you made sure not to let him touch you and you _never_ looked him in the eye. She was sunk. 'Yes, James.'

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On the last Monday of September Lily sat in first period charms, twirling her wand and paying little to no attention to what was going on around her. As she absent-mindedly flicked her wand, turning her goblet of wine to vinegar and back again without even thinking about it, she registered the goings-on in the classroom, the whispered arguments of her friends behind her, the muffled curse as a student across the room caused their goblet to empty itself over their robes. Try as she might to pretend that she was paying no particular attention to anything, her attention was drawn again and again to the empty seat behind her.

James had left the dorm hours before her, claiming the need to go flying before class to "clear the cobwebs". He hadn't arrived for charms, which worried _her _even if it didn't worry Flitwick. Whatever his dubious attitude towards school rules, James wasn't usually one to play hooky without a reason.

Of course, she tried quite hard not to let her concern visibly show. It had taken approximately two days for the rumour that Lily and James were going to the ball together to travel round the Hogwarts population, and she was quite aware that they were the subject of a lot of speculation – she did not need to fuel that fire. It was ridiculous really, that the school didn't have anything better to talk about; while James had been right and neither of them had received any further invitations, Lily had received quite a few hard looks from a number of girls and a fair few people had outright asked her if it was true.

Trying to re-focus, Lily turned her wine into firewhiskey, then mead, then back to wine. Beside her Marlene cursed as her wine stubbornly refused to alter so much as a molecule. The room was noisy, as it always was in charms, but even so everyone's attention was drawn – _as usual_, thought Lily, rolling her eyes – to James as he opened the door and rushed in, handing a piece of parchment to Professor Flitwick as he entered.

'Sorry Professor, but I need Lily.' He headed over to her and began to sweep her things from her desk into her bag.

'I bet you do.' Muttered Marlene under her breath, earning herself a sharp poke in the side from Lily's wand.

James picked up her bag in one hand and grabbed her arm with the other, pulling her impatiently towards the door. 'We'll come and see you later Professor, to catch up on today's class.'

'Not to worry!' Professor Flitwick spoke in his usual high tones. 'Miss Evans and yourself are sufficiently advanced not to worry about missing a class. Just make sure you get the homework from someone.'

'Thank you Professor.' Lily managed to get out before she was dragged through the door.

'James, where are we going?' Lily found herself half-running to keep up as James led her by the hand through the corridors.

'Hospital wing. Dumbledore is meeting us there.' He voice was bleak and he didn't slow his march or turn to look at her as he spoke.

'James.' She pulled sharply on his robes. 'James, stop and explain or I'm not taking another step!'

He slammed to a halt in front of her, and opened the nearest door. He glanced in to check the room was empty then ushered her through it and shut it securely behind them, adding a silencing spell for good measure. He perched on the edge of one of the unused desks and looked at her; his expression was grim and his eyes worried.

'I was on my way to charms this morning when I heard these noises coming from the next corridor. I was a little late, so the corridors should have been empty; I thought I'd caught some kids skipping class and I was fully prepared with my lecture on education and responsibility. Then I stepped round the corner and...' He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. 'There were these two little kids – first or second year I think – fighting on the ground, and they were...biting each other.'

'They were _what_?' Lily asked incredulously. 'You mean like...girly hair-pulling, scratching and biting type thing? A girl fight?'

'No.' Said James flatly. 'I mean there were two boys biting huge chunks out of each other's skin. Actually using their teeth to rip off lumps of flesh. There was a lot of blood Lil. I mean, I'm sure Pomfrey will fix them right up, but it was beyond fucking insane.' He looked away from her, staring out the window. 'But the thing is...I'm pretty sure they were cursed.'

Lily moved to lean against the desk next to him. 'You think that...because it's the only reason someone would act like that?' she asked quietly.

'No. Because Anthony Alexander was stood right there holding his wand on them.'

'Anthony Alexander? The fifth-year Ravenclaw? That can't be right.' Lily couldn't make her voice any louder than a whisper.

'That's what I saw Lil.' James said quietly. He moved his head to rest it on her shoulder because _Merlin _it was pounding. 'I know Anthony, I tutored him in Transfiguration last year, and he's one of the gentlest people you could meet. But it was like he was possessed, just like the other two. I had to stun all three of them to put a stop to it. Then I dragged them to the hospital wing, reported it to Dumbledore and came to get you.'

Lily ran a hand through his hair, noting the tired and confused look on his face. 'You said it was like he was possessed? Like...imperiused?'

'I don't know. Maybe. I've never seen anyone under the Imperius. I'm guessing Dumbledore will be able to tell.' He reached for her hand. 'But you know who's going to be behind this don't you?'

'Yeah.' Lily blew her hair out of her eyes. 'I know. We need to move on speaking to the people on our list.'

'We will.' James straightened up and hopped off the desk. 'But right now we need to go squeeze as much information as we can out of Dumbledore, Poppy and, if we can get anywhere near them, those three.'

James removed his charms and opened the door, and held his hand out for hers. They left the room in contemplative silence, and the two of them headed for the hospital wing, hands still clasped together without either of them realising.

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**A/N: I realised when I was finishing this off that the tone is starting to get darker, and there is a possibility that this fic could contain things that are a little too grim for a T rating. I will be trying to avoid content that's too graphic (mainly because it bothers me a little to write about it) but if anyone thinks the rating needs to changed at any point I'd be grateful if you could let me know. I don't want to upset anyone.**


	17. Chapter 17 - Asking

**A/N: Quite a lot of Sirius in this one - I love me some Sirius. **

**This chapter didn't exactly go according to plan. Somehow it ended up taking a slightly different direction than I'd planned, but it just felt right to go with the flow. **

**Hope you enjoy it, and of course I'd love to hear your opinions whether you did or didn't, you wonderful, lovely readers you!**

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Sirius Black was nervous. He wasn't sure he'd ever experienced anxiety before, and certainly not over a girl, but he was extremely sure he didn't like it; he paced back and fore outside the Quidditch changing rooms waiting for Marlene to emerge. They were the last two there – practice was long over and the other boys long gone, but he had volunteered to wait and walk Marlene back. It was part of the deal she had struck with Prongs over summer; she'd stay on the team if she was never left alone at the pitch. Bad memories he supposed, and cursed Rosier inventively under his breath. Still, being alone with Marlene suited his purposes for this evening, so perhaps he shouldn't be quite so irritated about the whole turn of events.

James had not been impressed when Sirius had told him that he hadn't gotten round to asking Marlene to the ball. He had responded, in typical Prongs style, by insulting his clothes, hair, bravery, and general masculinity, much to the amusement of Remus and Peter. He had to give it to his best mate, he knew exactly which buttons to press to get the response he wanted. He grinned suddenly to himself. He was sure Lily was finding that out too; he was absolutely positive he'd seen her blush when James threw a note at her in Transfiguration that morning.

He was interrupted in his thoughts by the sound of the changing room door swinging open, and Marlene stepping out. She noticed him and stiffened very slightly, but stepped towards him and smiled tightly.

'Hi. I thought James was walking me back?' _Scheming bastard set this up_, she thought to herself.

'Had to rush off.' Sirius answered simply, the pretence of not noticing anything wrong coming very easily to him, as usual. 'He said it was important, but I think he actually just wants to corner Evans. He seems to feel that if she spends enough time with him she'll eventually fall for his somewhat dubious charm.'

Marlene snorted in an incredibly unladylike manner, and reached out to link her arm with his as they walked. She'd been so nervous around him lately that she'd allowed herself to forget that she actually liked being around him; his humour and easygoing charm were what attracted her in the first place. Her and every other girl in Hogwarts. She glanced sideways at him, and wondered briefly what he would do if she just outright asked him to take her to the ball. She discounted the idea – Sirius preferred to be in charge when possible, and it would be much better if she could manoeuvre him into asking _her_. If he had any interest in asking her. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of him clearing his throat.

'So...do you have a date for the ball yet?'

Promising. 'No, not yet.' She batted her eyelashes at him comically. 'Isn't that tragic?'

He laughed briefly, and as always she admired the short-lived glimmer it gave his grey eyes. 'It's an absolute travesty, my sweet. You must have been asked though?' He enquired nonchalantly. Casual flirting, he could do that. He was the _king_ of that.

'Oh, you know.' She answered just as indifferently. 'Not by anyone _worth_ going with.'

'Hmm.' Sirius noticed how cold her hand was on his arm, and he gripped it with his and slid them both into his trouser pocket, fingers twined together. 'What makes someone worth going with then? What does Miss Marlene McKinnon require in a dance companion?'

Trying to hide her contentment at the thought of their joined hands pressed up against his thigh, she smiled up at him.

'Well, good looks obviously. Charm. Excellent dancing ability and dress sense, nice manners. You know, just little things.'

'Oh, sure, nothing too demanding there.' Sirius laughed again. 'I was doing quite well until you brought manners into it. Very discriminatory of you.'

Marlene looked ahead as they walked, careful not to even glance at him as she responded. 'Well, I suppose I would be willing to forgo my list – you know, if the person asking was interesting enough.'

She used her free hand to tuck her hair behind her ears and kept her eyes resolutely on the ground. She could practically hear the wheels turning in Sirius' head. Merlin, did he have to be so slow to pick up on a hint? He'd never been slow to ask other girls out before. Maybe he was thinking of the summer, maybe he was wondering if she was still too much of a mess to even consider asking her out. Or maybe the sight of her red, puffy, tear-stained face had put him off forever.

She was pulled to an abrupt halt by their joined hands as he stopped and tugged her to the side of the path, under the branches of an enormous oak tree.

'Marls.' He grabbed her other hand and they stood, both hands entwined, under the spreading branches, in the semi-light of dusk. 'Am I interesting enough?'

She blinked at him. Had she imagined the implication, or had he just asked her out?

Sirius stared at her unresponsive face, and for the first time in his life, knew what it was like to sweat over a girl's answer. The relief he felt when the corners of her mouth began to curve up in a smile was indescribable; Marlene McKinnon's face was made for smiling, which just made her recent sadness more unbearable to him.

'If that's your way of asking me to the ball, Sirius Black, it's complete rubbish.' She informed him. 'But I suppose it'll have to do.'

And she rose on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in the gathering dark, as his arms came around her back and her hands snaked into his hair.

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At 7:30 on 16th October, Lily stood in the Room of Requirement with Remus and Sirius. She'd known of the existence of the room but had never used it herself. It should have come as no surprise that both Remus and Sirius seemed to be intimately acquainted with it and its workings – as they were with most of Hogwarts it seemed – and she wondered just how many clandestine things had been planned or carried out in the room.

Glancing around the room, she noticed that most people had already arrived. They had managed to discreetly sound out almost everybody on their list over the last few weeks, and had invited twelve of the people who seemed most inclined to join their little group to come to a meeting of sorts. She could see Peter talking to a Hufflepuff she didn't know well – Christina Wellbeck – and Marlene with the three new members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, while Alice, Mary, Emma and Frank were sat on one of the long sofas the room had provided. Just the most important person missing then, though Lily with exasperation as her eyes automatically turned towards the doors again, anticipating James' appearance.

She'd caught herself doing that a few times now – watching doors, waiting to see if he was the next person through it. It was bloody pathetic, it was the kind of thing those idiotic girls who fawned over him did, and she was annoyed with herself every damn time she realised she'd done it. At least she had a valid reason for looking out for him tonight, since the meeting couldn't start without him.

'He'll be here.' Remus gentle voice interrupted her thoughts and she realised she'd been scowling at the door for a full two minutes. She turned to see her quiet friend smiling at her. 'He's been pretty het up since the whole first-years-biting-each-other thing, I doubt you could stop him with a full body-bind.'

Sirius snorted. 'You've got to be one sick bastard to come up with that. Wouldn't be surprised if it was my brother. Or Snape. In fact, it was probably a joint project.'

Lily aimed a glare at him, and he didn't mistake its meaning for a second. 'Come on now Tiger-Lily, we hexed more than our fair share of students in the past I know, but even we knew there was a line. This didn't so much step over the line as piss on it.'

She huffed her displeasure at him but strangely enough found that she largely agreed with him. All the Marauders had thrown their share of jinxes around in the corridors, but they'd never caused actual physical harm – humiliation, yes, temporary disfigurement, yes but never permanent damage. And they'd never felt the need to involve others. Poor Anthony Alexander had been devastated when he had come round in the hospital wing.

She was interrupted from her rather morbid thoughts by the arrival of James – she didn't look at him as he came in, continuing resolutely in her conversation with Remus, whose shrewd smile showed that he was completely aware that she was avoiding demonstrating any interest in James' entrance.

James nodded and acknowledged his way across the room to Lily, Remus and Sirius. _Who'd have thought it? The prefect, the Head Girl and the degenerate talking amiably_. His world was distinctly askew at the moment.

He joined them quickly, made sure his back was to everyone else and then let out a long breath, the smile sliding off his face.

'Bloody hell, it's exhausting trying to maintain this facade of effortless brilliance. I haven't had a bloody second to myself for weeks. Why didn't you tell me being Head Boy was going to be like this?' he demanded of Lily.

'Because I didn't want you to quit and leave me with a total arse as Head Boy.' She folded her arms and raised her eyebrows. 'We talked about this remember?'

James sighed heavily. 'I know Lil. I'm sorry. I'm in a right foul mood, and it's got nothing to do with you.' He lightly brushed his thumb over the back of her hand and felt a small stab of satisfaction as her felt her tremble ever so slightly. 'I shouldn't take it out on you.'

'Then what has rattled your antlers Prongs?' asked Sirius cheerfully, slapping his friend on the back and ignoring the glower he got in response.

'I just came from the Hospital Wing – all three are being discharged tonight.' He looked extremely sombre.

'So they're all okay then?' asked Remus.

'Physically, yeah.' Answered James. 'You know Poppy, there's not much she can't handle. It's going to take a while for them to get over it though I reckon. I'm not even sure they'll be staying at Hogwarts, I know at least one of them is considering withdrawing.'

'Did they have anything new to say?' asked Lily. 'I'm assuming you talked to them again?'

'I did, and no they didn't. Anthony still doesn't remember anything after leaving the Great Hall for breakfast and before waking up after I stunned him. The two kids remember exactly what happened; they walked around a corner and an older boy hexed them and they started to fight. Unfortunately, that isn't helpful. We need to know who cursed Anthony and what hex he was using on those kids.'

'Dumbledore didn't recognise it at all?' questioned Sirius.

James shook his head. 'Nope, not even after he examined their memories. Anthony was imperioused, then obliviated to remove the memory of the culprit; then he used an unrecognisable hex that turns people into cannibalistic nutters on two second years. Dumbledore reckons it's a recently invented jinx. Looks like the Dark Arts are branching out again.'

James' words echoed around Lily's head, and she heard a buzzing in her ears as her blood began to pulse faster as her mind whirled and made connections.

**_Unrecognisable hex. _**

**_Recently invented. _**

**_ Dark Arts._**

Sirius was right. It was probably Severus. She felt sick. She felt dizzy. She felt...tainted by association. Her body betrayed her and swayed, and Sirius' arm shot out and wrapped round her middle, supporting her suddenly shaky legs.

'Alright there Petal?' He pulled her to his side and gave her a friendly squeeze. Lily noted that both James and Remus had missed her brief wobble thanks to Sirius' intervention, and she was extremely grateful to him for that.

'Thanks.' She whispered it in a low voice so the others didn't hear.

'We'll be discussing this later Tiger-Lily. Your face practically turned grey then, and I want to know why.' He ruffled her hair with his free hand and let go of her, withdrawing his support slowly until he was sure she was steady. He turned to the two boys and punched James in the shoulder. 'Let's get this party started then Prongs.'

'Oh right.' He turned to the room and waved his arms around until everybody noticed him and shut up. 'Thanks for coming guys, I know it's been a bit mysterious...'

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An hour or so later, Sirius was bored. It felt like they must have covered the same few topics over and over again from every possible angle and he was restless – even more so because he was well aware that Lily had thought of something she didn't want to discuss earlier, and he wanted an opportunity to coax it out of her. Marlene sat on the floor in front of him, and his hands were idly running over and through her hair as he lounged on one of the sofas next to Peter; Remus and James were sat at the other end. Lily was speaking now; James -having run out of both patience and temper some time earlier - had turned things over to her.

'...so we aren't talking about vigilantism, we're just refusing to turn a blind eye and helping each other out if it becomes necessary. And learning to defend ourselves and others if the situation calls for it.' Lily eyed the various members of the group. 'Anyone else want to say anything? Ask anything?' There was general head shaking, and a certain amount of stretching as people began to move around.

'Okay.' She reached for her schoolbag and pulled out a blank piece of parchment. 'This parchment has a tongue-tying spell on it. Everyone signs it. It will stop you from discussing anything that happens in this group with anyone from outside it unless you are given a release to do so by the Spell-Keeper.' She paused and looked nervously in the direction of the Marauders. 'That's James.'

'What?' The boy in question sat upright quickly and began to splutter almost incoherently, but Lily cut him off sharply.

'It's done James. **_I _**cast the charms, and**_ I_** picked the Spell-Keeper. I picked the person I thought most capable of keeping the secret, and that's you. Suck it up.'

She turned away from him and directed her attention at the other end of the room, leaving him fuming. Sirius' shoulders were shaking from the effort of not laughing, and Peter wasn't even making the effort to try not to. 'Bet you're sorry you ever convinced her to trust you now aren't you?' he managed to get out between laughs.

'Oh, suck it Pete.' James huffed and folded his arms, directing his very best scowl at Lily's back and irrationally hoping that she could _feel_ it burning into her shoulder blades as she passed the parchment round. When it reached the Marauders she handed it to Remus and turned back to the rest of the room without looking at the other three.

'Anyway, that's about all for now. We'll work out some sort of timetable for meetings as we go. I'm working on a secure method of communication, but it involves bewitching parchment in some very complicated ways, and that's not exactly my forte. The rune work is excruciating.' She smiled at the room in general, and turned to face Remus as he cleared his throat.

'We can help with that Lily.' He spoke in his usual soft tones and gestured to his friends as he did. 'We have...some experience in that general area.' She nodded her thanks, and moved to collect the schoolbag and books she brought with her. The rest of the assembled group took the hint and began gathering their things and preparing to leave.

When most of them had gone, she turned to face James for the first time since her little surprise. She wasn't at all shocked to find him stood looking at her, arms folded and looking extremely disgruntled. She opened her mouth to speak, then realised she didn't know what she could say to stop him from being angry with her. So she waited.

'You could have asked.' His voice was level, and she found that worse than if he'd started shouting. A calm James meant he was so mad at her he'd gone past the point of yelling and had reached the I-don't-even-want-to-look-at-you stage of fury.

'I didn't have time.' She kept her eyes focussed on the wall behind him, because she couldn't stand it if she looked at him now and saw the anger there in his eyes. 'I only finished the charmwork this afternoon, and there was no one around_ to_ ask. So I picked the person that I would most want to trust with _my _secrets, and I cast the spell.'

'That's exactly my point Evans!' She winced at the use of her surname, but not even the idea that he was hurting her could stop his temper from boiling over. 'You cast a spell on me without my permission, do you even realise what kind of violation that is? You can't just put people to whatever use you feel like! Do you really think I need an extra responsibility right now?'

His hands came up and buried themselves in his hair, and he tugged hard in an attempt to keep a lid on his annoyance. 'Dammit, why didn't you just wait and ask somebody? It wouldn't have killed you to have left it for a couple of hours! Why do you have to be so damned stubborn and secretive? I didn't even know you were working on it.' Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that everybody had left and they were alone. 'Did anybody? Did you actually bother to tell any of the people with an interest in this that you were taking it upon yourself to make a decision like that on your own? All that bloody talk about looking out for each other and confiding in each other and you are off doing whatever you damn well please!' He finally ran out of coherent things to say and just stopped; he stayed still, his eyes boring into her.

When she finally looked up and met his gaze his brown eyes were trained on her, and they were cold and hard, and it hurt her heart to see them without the warmth and sparkle they usually held just for her. She fought back the tears, but wouldn't have been surprised if he'd been able to see them waiting to fall. She didn't have anything to say that could fix this, so she wouldn't even try.

'I'm sorry James.' She whispered it, then turned and left the room as fast as she could without looking back.

James was left standing on his own, watching her back as she all but ran away from him. The stricken look on her face and her unshed tears had evaporated all but the last vestiges of his anger, and now he was left to wonder how many steps back they had just taken. He turned and kicked a chair clear across the room. No, didn't make him feel even slightly better. Shit.

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It was a cold clear night, and the view from the top of the Astronomy tower was breathtaking. Lily hung out over the parapet to see as far across the grounds as she could. She could see Hagrid's hut, and the man himself strolling into the forest with Fang, she could see the mountains on the far side of the lake, and the Quidditch pitch in the other direction. She watched her breath as it condensed in the air in front of her, then moved her arm to check her watch again.

Another half-hour and James would be on rounds, and she would be able to go through the Head's common room to her dorm without the possibility of seeing him. She wouldn't be able to avoid him forever, she knew that, but she was damn well going to avoid him for as long as possible. Thinking about the look on his face earlier made the tears well up again, and she furiously wiped them away.

Hearing the door swing open behind her she swung round in full prefect-mode, ready to dock points and issue detentions to whatever love-struck fools had decided to sneak up the tower and interrupt her sorrows. She was surprised, therefore, when she came face to face with Sirius.

'Black? What are you doing up here?'

'Came to find you.' He offered her that smile he reserved specially for charming witches. 'And before you ask, no I'm not telling you how I knew you were here. A gentleman needs to retain an air of mystery.'

He came and joined her by the parapet. 'May I ask why I have been relegated to "Black" again? My first name sounds particularly lovely in your beautiful tones.'

'I assumed, since James is back to calling me Evans, that you would be mad enough on his behalf to be on last name terms with me as well.'

Sirius leant out over the edge, and his short laugh echoed out over the grounds. 'Flipped his lid did he? Thought he might. But love, when you know Prongs like I do, you'll realise that while his temper may be explosive, it's usually short-lived. You have to have screwed up really badly for him to hold a grudge.' He turned his head to look at her. 'And sweetheart, I'm not sure there's _anything_ that you could do that would make him turn away from you. He has far more tolerance for _your_ screw-ups than for anyone else's. Just let him simmer down.'

She rested her elbows on the balustrade, and stretched out over it like he had, letting the autumn wind blow her hair wildly around her face.

'Do you want to tell me what turned your face that particularly appealing shade of deathly pale earlier? Gave a quite a new meaning to the term 'dead sexy' frankly.'

She gave a humourless laugh, but remained otherwise silent. Judging her mood, Sirius kept his mouth shut. She wanted to unload on someone, so all he had to do was give her the shoulder and wait for her to cry.

'You were right.' Her voice was quiet and tired, and the momentary thrill of being correct in his assumptions about the situation was overpowered by his concerns for her.

'I generally am. About what in specific, darling girl?'

'That hex. The...biting one. I think Snape invented it.'

He drew in a sharp breath. 'You know, I was more or less joking about that. Don't get me wrong, I think Snape is a twisted little shit, but creating a Dark jinx is probably beyond him.'

'It's not. He's done it before.' She squeezed her eyes shut, imagining the horrified look on Sirius' face. 'He plays around with spell theory all the time. Or he did, I don't know. He invented a few awful curses back when we were still friends. I hated it, I asked him to stop. But I don't think he did, he just stopped telling me about them.' She felt Sirius' hand cover hers and squeeze. 'I just...the idea of him being responsible for _that_ made me feel sick. And the thought of telling James - he's going to be so disgusted that I knew and never said anything.'

Sirius reached out and pulled her in for a hug. He wasn't sure at what point he'd started giving a damn about Lily Evans, but he did, and he wasn't going to let a slimy git like Snape wreck things for her. Or James.

'You let go of everything James did that upset you in the past didn't you sweetheart?' He waited to feel her nod against his chest before continuing. 'And he forgave you for all the insults you ever shouted at him?' Another nod. 'Then give him some credit. Believe that he likes you enough to get past this.' He felt her tears before he heard them, and he held her against him while she wept.

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When James got in from his evening patrols, he headed directly up the stairs to his room, his only plan being to go directly to bed and try to sleep off the emotional and physical exhaustion of the day. His plan was thwarted by the unmistakable sound of quiet crying coming from behind Lily's door.

He stopped on the landing and considered his options. There was no point in pretending he was still angry because he wasn't. Anyone who could look directly at those big green eyes when they were brimming with tears and still be angry with her was made of stone. He sighed. He'd never been able to ignore a crying woman. He knocked lightly on her door and pushed it open.

'Lily?'

She was lying curled up on her bed, bawling wretchedly. His heart gave one sharp tug, and he followed it into the room, sitting down on the edge of her bed and reaching for her. He gathered her into his arms and held her there, sweeping the hair back from her face and dropping a gentle kiss on the hairline by her temple, whispering quietly into her ear that it was okay, it didn't matter, everything was fine.

When her shaking sobs had almost subsided, he pulled them both up the bed until he was resting his back against her headboard and she was pressed firmly against his chest. She lay there, listening to his heart beating, feeling her pulse calming, and he held her there until they both fell asleep.

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**A/N: Felt the need to end on a semi-happy note: I just can't bring myself to leave them fighting. Next chapter is going to be fluffy because I feel the need for a break from all the doom and gloom!**


	18. Chapter 18 - Dancing

**A/N: Fluff! It's what makes the world wonderful. This is pretty much pure Jily, and I make no apology for it because I love it.**

**The writing of this chapter led me to update the playlist on my profile so check it out if you're interested, and if you ****are**** going to listen to any music while reading this chapter try 'Sway' by Bic Runga or 'Fall at your Feet' by Crowded House. Both awesome. **

**Let me know what you think, you fantastic, generous, lovely people!**

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If he saw one more Halloween decoration he was going to vomit. Actually vomit. He might even consider charming it black and orange in honour of the occasion. He said as much to Lily, who responded by throwing a cardboard bat at his head.

'No vomiting James! Vomiting is what got us into this mess in the first place remember?'

He had to admit she was right. Since term had started the Marauders had been so overworked that they hadn't found time to play a single prank and some of the Gryffindor third years had got it into their heads that they ought to take over the mantle of school pranksters. Unfortunately, they didn't have quite the same levels of talent as he and his friends had, so their attempt at slipping hiccoughing solution into Wednesday's dinner had gone badly wrong and resulted in several students and staff being admitted to the hospital wing with serious vomiting.

This unfortunately included Professor Flitwick, who was now unable to make good on his promise to handle the Halloween decorations; so at some point after breakfast on the morning of Friday 31st October, James and Lily had found themselves alone in the Great Hall with several enormous boxes of decorations and no idea what to do with them. They had been excused from classes for the day in order to prepare for the ball, but it wasn't until they'd arrived in the Great Hall and taken a good look that they realised quite how, well, _big_ it actually was; lunch had actually been served to the students in classrooms to give them long enough to decorate.

And now it was four hours later, and they were almost done. Lily had - in a stroke of absolute genius, he wasn't afraid to admit it - recruited a dozen house-elves from the kitchens to carve the pumpkins for the tables, and the two of them had gotten straight on with hanging streamers and cardboard bats and plastic skeletons and Agrippa only knew what else from every wall. When they were finished with this he doubted he'd have the energy to actually _attend _the ball.

He sneaked a sideways glance at Lily; he couldn't quite help it, his eyes always found their way to her when she was in the room. She was stood on one of the house tables, hair loose around her shoulders, feet bare and she was wearing scruffy muggle jeans and a t-shirt. Her wand made intricate flickering movements as she enchanted their carefully hung decorations to move and respond to their surroundings; it was such difficult charm work that he couldn't quite follow it all, though he tried to keep track of her work. Not for the first time, he thanked every deity he could think of that she was Head Girl, that it was _her_ that he worked with.

He stepped back and eyed their handiwork. Not quite as good as Flitwick would surely have managed, but impressive none the less given their limited time frame and a certain lack of enthusiasm on his part. He narrowed his eyes as an idea struck him, and he twirled his wand at the thousands of floating candles and turned them black. Lily noticed the candles nearest her change and turned to beam at him.

'Nice touch. Do you think we can charm the doors to groan when they're opened as well?'

'No need. I'll get Filch to stand behind them and moan, no-one would be able to tell the difference.'

She laughed at his joke, rotten though it was, and he thought privately that it wasn't so much the joke that made her laugh as her need to show that all had been forgiven between them. He was thoroughly ashamed of himself for making her cry a couple of weeks ago (whether he'd had a right to be angry with her or not), and he'd been as affectionate as she'd let him get away with since; he couldn't deny that he was relieved that she was willing to accept a hug and then forgive and forget.

If he'd only known it, the truth of the matter was that she was all but giddy with relief that he hadn't stayed angry and they were back on good terms, so found herself laughing at all his jokes, no matter how terrible, out of sheer happiness that he had forgiven her enough to try and make her laugh again.

At that point Professor Dumbledore arrived with Madame Rosmerta, who was going to set up a bar of sorts in one corner, serving butterbeer and juices along with mead for students who were of age; Professor McGonagall had soundly vetoed firewhisky under any circumstances, much to the disgust of both Sirius and Emma.

'Ah, excellent, excellent!' Professor Dumbledore remarked cheerfully as he entered. 'Professor Flitwick himself would be proud to call this his work. A remarkable job in such a small amount of time.' He observed the house-elves busily placing carved pumpkins on every available flat surface with an amused twinkle in his eye. 'And an ingenious use of additional resources in a crisis. Twenty points to Gryffindor seems appropriate.'

'Thank you Professor.' Said Lily. 'We've done our best.'

'And as always, your best is superb! I look forward to this evening with barely concealed glee. Rosmerta, my dear, you must save me a dance. Now, I must attempt to do some of my paperwork, so I may enjoy the evening without guilt. Good afternoon.'

Professor Dumbledore left, and Rosmerta bustled off to set up her bar, leaving James and Lily more or less alone again.

'Are we done?' James couldn't disguise the eagerness in his voice.

'I think so.' Answered Lily suspiciously. 'Why?'

'Because it's a beautiful day, I have no afternoon classes and the Quidditch pitch is free. Care to come flying with me?'

'Thanks, but no. I'm plastered in cobwebs, dust and pumpkin flesh so I plan on having the longest bath in the history of wizardkind.'

He smiled at her. 'Each to their own I suppose.' He cleared his throat. 'I'll meet you in our common room then? At 6:30? The unspoken sense of unease between them increased tenfold at the mention of their _arrangement_ for the evening. James hadn't dared let himself call it a date, not even in his own head.

Lily managed a smile despite her nerves, and resolved to find the girls as quickly as possible after afternoon classes so she could throw a hysterical fit in sympathetic company. 'Sure. 6:30 sounds great.'

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_Sure, 6:30 sounds great._ Lily's own words battered through her mind over and over again. _I'll see you in the common room then, as long as I haven't been carted off to St Mungo's for being a total maniac._ Why had she agreed to this? Why hadn't she politely told James that this would be a bad idea? Hormones, that's why. Hormones, and his **stupid** sparkly eyes, and that **bloody** distracting Quidditch uniform, and his deep laugh, and his silly jokes, and the way he looked at her, and _oh God, she was going to be sick..._

'Will you calm down!?' Mary wrestled her way past Marlene and Alice who were debating the merits of up-do's versus "the loose-and-wild look" while comparing their current hairstyles and knelt down in front of Lily, who by now was more or less hyperventilating on her bed. 'Deep breaths sweetheart. Don't worry about anything else, just focus on deep breaths, in and out.'

Lily nodded, gulped in a lungful of air, and then concentrated on letting it out slowly before taking another one. Feeling her heartbeat steady a little, she patted Mary's hand gratefully and the other girl smiled in sympathy before returning to the mirror and her hair-styling products, continuing to pin her long dark hair up.

'Anyone would think' announced Emma from the window seat where she sat charming her nails a light shade of pink 'that you were preparing to be executed rather than getting ready for a school dance. I have _never_ seen you in this kind of state, not even over OWLs.'

'Why did I say yes? What is wrong with me?' Lily flopped back on the bed and covered her face with her hands.

'Well, darling, forgive me for saying, but you seem to have trouble saying_ no_ to James these days.' Marlene broke off her conversation with Alice to add her thoughts. She made her way over to the bed and sat next to Lily, pulling her upright and lifting her hair onto the top of her head experimentally. She pursed her lips as she examined the soft red waves piled up high with a critical eye. 'What do you think ladies? Put it up or leave it down?'

'Down.' Emma's response was immediate, as she stood up and compared the shade of her nails with the colour of her dress, nodding approvingly as she did so. 'I think James would definitely prefer a sexily dishevelled look.'

'I don't want to look sexily dishevelled! I don't want to go at all!' Lily protested extremely loudly; she felt like she could barely hear herself over the hammering of her heart. Alice sighed.

'Lily, honey, this is _James_ we're talking about here. You spend hours with him every day – you have most of your classes together, you eat meals together, you patrol together, you _live_ together for Merlin's sake. Why is tonight going to be any different from any other time you spend together other than you'll both be better dressed?'

Lily let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. 'You're right, I know you are. It just feels...'

'Like a date.' Mary finished the sentence for her.

'I was going to say _different_.' Lily glowered.

'Because it feels like a date.' Emma sang the words with a grin.

'Right, I don't think we're helping, and we're going to be late meeting our own dates.' Alice smoothed down her pale gold dress. 'And I'm not sure how long they'd actually bother to wait for us either. Let's leave Lily to it.' She waved Mary and Emma out of the door in front of her, and gave Lily a sympathetic smile as she followed after them.

Marlene stood up and checked her reflection one last time in Lily's mirror, examining her French twist of blonde hair for any imperfections. 'Lils?'

Lily turned her head and raised an eyebrow at her best friend, indicating that she was listening. Marlene took two steps back towards her and leant down to wave her finger in Lily's face.

'Stop thinking. Put your dress on, leave your hair like it is and get downstairs. Try to remember that it's James waiting for you down there. _James,_ sweetie. Not only is he not going to eat you, he won't let anyone else bother you either.' She kissed Lily's cheek and left the room. Taking a deep, bolstering breath, Lily turned once more to face the dress hanging from her wardrobe door; the dress that suddenly seemed like more of an enemy than any piece of clothing had a right to be.

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James had been pacing the common room for six minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Thirty-nine seconds. Forty-two seconds.

He'd left the Gryffindor boy's dorm with Sirius and the others and they'd parted ways at the top of the main staircase, the rest of the boys to the entrance hall to meet their dates, and him to the Head's Common room to meet Lily. Who he couldn't think of as his date in case he had a panic attack at the thought. It was just him and Lily, spending the evening together like they often did. No need to worry. At that exact moment, he heard her voice shouting upstairs.

_'I don't want to look sexily dishevelled! I don't want to go at all!' _

Okay, maybe a little reason to worry.

Emma, Alice and Mary came down the stairs from her room and wandered past him, trying (and failing miserably he might add) to hide their amusement at the situation. Alice gave him a supportive pat on the arm on her way past and Emma eyed his black dress robes with approval. A moment later Marlene also appeared from upstairs, her face lighting up in a grin at the sight of him.

'Thank Merlin.' She came up to him and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. 'Do something with her will you? She's a wreck at the moment.'

'I know, I heard the shouting. She really doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to.' James knew he sounded glum. 'Maybe I should go up and just tell her not to worry about it.'

'No!' Marlene jabbed him in the chest with one index finger. 'She _does _want to go, and she wants to go with you, she's just nervous. You'd think you'd be pleased about the fact that it's _you_ that makes her nervous.' Taking in his sceptical expression, she sighed and ran a hand over the front of his robes to straighten them where she'd just mussed them with her poking. 'In a minute she's going to walk down those stairs, and whether she looks it or not, she's going to be a quivering wreck of anxiety. So just use that Potter charm of yours and calm her down okay? You seem to have quite a way with her lately, so use it to your advantage. ' With one final pat of his chest Marlene stepped towards the door. 'Don't forget to compliment her dress; it took me bloody forever to convince her into buying it!' She shot him one last wink. 'And you owe me for that too.' The door slammed behind her, and James returned to his pacing.

A moment or two later Lily's voice came from the stairs.

'James?'

He turned to face the door to the staircase, but didn't move towards it. If she'd wanted to speak to him face-to-face she'd have come in. He would let her come to him when she chose to. 'Yes Lil?'

'I'm really having doubts about this dress. Marly chose it, and it's a bit...well, a bit Marly to be honest. I think I should change.'

He face relaxed into an easy smile of relief. If it was reassurance about how she looked that she needed, well he could do that.

'Let me see then.'

There was a moment of silence, then the door creaked open and Lily stepped through it into the common room. Her green sheath evening dress was strapless and dropped to her ankles in a straight column; it revealed nothing, yet clung in a way that somehow managed to suggest that everything _under_ it was flawless. It seemed to make her emerald eyes shine even brighter and it contrasted perfectly with the tousled red waves of her hair, which he was pleased to note she had left down, hanging freely over her shoulders. She held her matching green mask in one hand. She was biting her lip anxiously and as she took another step towards him she tucked her hair behind one ear in a gesture of nervousness he found surprisingly adorable.

'I should change shouldn't I?' He thought he understood her nervousness; she wasn't ever _that _comfortable with being under other people's scrutiny, and in that dress she would certainly be drawing a few eyes; now he'd seen it, though, he had no intention of letting her change out of it, and he silently made a mental note to thank Marlene later.

'No, you shouldn't. It's beautiful. _You're_ beautiful.' She blushed instantly, and the stain of colour on her cheeks made her look so damn lovely he resolved to make her blush as often as possible that night.

He forced a frown onto his face as he looked at her. 'There is something missing though...' He stepped towards her as her face turned panicked, still frowning and looked her over from top to toe. Then he reached an arm out and pulled a tissue from the box on the coffee table, transfiguring it into a perfect white lily as he brought it back towards her. He tucked it behind one of her ears, noting to his pleasure that she was not only still blushing but was biting her lip again. He quickly shook the thought off; thinking about biting her lips was only going to get him into trouble tonight.

She swatted at his arm. 'You worried me then you great prat, I thought I'd forgotten something vital, like, like _shoes_ or something!'

He laughed at her. 'I think you'd notice if you'd forgotten your shoes Lil.'

'Oh, you think so?' she shot back at him. 'Then you_ greatly_ underestimate my stress levels this evening!'

He laughed at her again, then grabbed her hand and brought her knuckles up to his lips for a kiss. 'Maybe a drink will help. Let's go shall we?'

She drew in a deep breath. 'Yes, let's.' Her hand stayed tightly gripped in his, and he led her gently out of their dorm with no intention of letting go of it for a while.

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Lily simply couldn't fathom now why she had been so worried earlier - the ball was going brilliantly. Once the feast was over, the house tables had been magically transfigured into smaller round ones to make room for a dance floor, and the students had been using it to its fullest ever since. The band that James had sweet-talked into playing was excellent, Rosmerta's refreshments were delicious, and she was currently being twirled around the dance floor in the overly flamboyant arms of Sirius.

She laughed giddily as the song ended and Sirius' final spin landed her directly back into her seat next to Remus. He flashed her a wink as he let go of her hand and turned to face the spot nearby where James had just finished dancing with Marlene. 'Oi Prongs! Time to swap back. This one just won't let me snog her. Likes blokes with glasses better apparently.'

Lily aimed a swift kick at his backside, earning her a pleased pat on the arm from Remus, but James just grinned happily. 'Not a problem Padfoot. Lovely though Marlene is' he reached for Lily's hand and pulled her up and into his arms 'my preference for redheads is well-known.' He span her away from him, then twirled her back and settled them into what had become their familiar dance hold over the evening. At some point, body contact with him had stopped being nerve-wracking and had actually become a calming influence; somehow it was easier to relax and enjoy herself when she was wrapped up safe in James' arms. He smiled down at her.

'You look happy. Even though you were dancing with Pads and he's a little...exuberant when it comes to dancing. It's the innate show-off in him.'

'I enjoyed it.' She beamed a cheerful smile in his direction. 'You're such a show-off yourself I'm surprised you don't have the same approach.'

'Please. I am modesty personified. Besides, I have no need to make an exhibition of myself; it's already quite clear to everyone how fantastic I am.'

Her grin grew wider. 'You just don't have the moves Potter.'

He felt his smile stretch in response, and he tugged her closer so he could whisper in her ear. 'Do you know what that sounded like Evans?' He pulled back slightly so he could see the amused sparkle in her eyes and then leant in again. 'Sounded like a challenge.'

Noticing her eyes widen in surprise, he spun her out until she was a full arm's length away, then twirled her under his arm and dipped her as he caught her out of the spin. He held her close to him as he tilted her back and she threw back her head and laughed, her hair hanging out behind her like a river of coppery curls. When she caught her breath and lifted her head back up, they were so close their noses were rubbing as they laughed together, and she was so close and so pretty, and her lips were so near his...

'Not here.' She whispered.

To his own surprise he didn't feel discouraged at her words; she hadn't said no, she'd said "not here" which presumably meant not in front of the entire student body. Right. Made sense. Or would have if he'd been thinking with his head. _Anyway_, he thought as he straightened them both back upright and continued to lead her through the dance, _she was still here in his arms wasn't she?_ _What wouldn't he have given to have that a few months ago? _His mood was much too good, and he'd been given too much hope for the future for that little incident to put a damper on it.

Sensing a little regained nervousness in her posture he cast his mind around for a soothing topic of conversation.

'Did you mean what you said the other day?'

She lifted her head from his chest and tilted it back to look at him questioningly. 'Hmmm?'

'The other day. You said that you liked to fly, but you weren't very comfortable on a broom and you wished you were better.'

'Oh.' She smiled softly, the merest hint of embarrassment on her face. He decided there and then that it might be the most gorgeous expression he'd ever seen. 'Yes. I like to be in the air, but I'm just hopeless. No control whatsoever.'

'Well, I was thinking...' he trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

'Did it hurt?' She squeezed his shoulder in appreciation of her own joke.

'You're funny.' He dead-panned, as he squeezed back in retaliation. 'I was thinking I could take you flying. Turns out I'm quite good at it, so maybe I could help?'

'You'd do that?' They'd stopped moving now, and were just stood in each other's arms in the middle of the flow of couples around the dance floor, completely oblivious to the music, to the stares and the whispers, to everything except each other. 'You'd teach me to fly?'

He frowned for a second and tugged her a little closer. 'Of course I would. I'd do anything for you.' He hadn't meant for that last bit to slip out, but the look she gave him made him glad it had. 'I'll take you tomorrow morning if you like; the pitch will be empty for once.'

She stood up on her tiptoes to bring her face level with his. 'What's wrong with now?' she breathed into his ear. He pulled back and looked at her in disbelief. 'Err, its dark?'

'And? Where's that Gryffindor nerve Potter?' She cocked an eyebrow challengingly.

'Okay Evans.' He spoke slowly. 'Your wish is my command.' He took her hand and pulled her as discreetly as possible from the dance floor towards the doors. 'Did you at least want to go and get a cloak?'

'No, I'll use a charm if I get cold.' They made it into the entrance hall and noted that they weren't the only ones heading outside. Her Head Girl instincts wanted her to stop and rebuke the students who were sneaking off, but they lost the battle with the giddy feeling that the evening had stirred up and instead of lecturing or docking points she simply continued her way out of the doors with James at her side.

'We probably gave them the shock of their lives you know.' James' voice sounded louder than it was in the quiet of the grounds. 'They've just seen Head Girl Lily Evans and Head Boy James Potter leave the castle together in the middle of a school event. You'd have got long odds on that from any bookie.'

'Sod it.' Lily spread her arms out and spun around, and he slowed his pace to watch her with amusement.

'Did Sirius slip you some firewhisky or something?'

'Please. I'm not daft enough to drink _anything _Sirius offers me. I'm just...happy to be outside. Fresh air and open space.'

'Plenty of that on a broom.'

'Exactly.' Pleased with him, she linked her arm through his until they reached the Quidditch pitch and he let go of her to retrieve his broom from the lock-up. He turned back and placed it in the air next to them; he mounted it and held out his hands to her. She stepped towards him and slipped her hands into his.

'What are we doing?'

He pulled her onto the broom in front of him, sitting her side-saddle to accommodate her dress. 'You need to get used to the feeling of balancing on a broom, and the best way I can think of to do that is to just take you for a fly. And since I don't know how good you are at flying, and I'm not having you fall off a broom on my watch, the safest place is right in front of me where I can hold onto you.'

He felt her tense as he kicked off gently from the ground until they hovered a few feet in the air. He chuckled at the stiffness in her shoulders and the rigidity of the muscles in her arms as she gripped the broom.

'What?' She sounded defensive.

'I think I've spotted your problem with flying. You don't relax into it, you let it stress you. Know how I can tell?' She quirked an eyebrow in enquiry. 'You're sat there right now worrying whether a Quidditch Captain can get you safely round the pitch a few times.'

He swooped a little higher in one swift motion and she released her grip on the broom in favour of a much tighter one round his waist. Grinning to himself he flew her around the pitch, once then twice, and on the third pass he felt her relax into it a little as she turned her face to the front and let the wind rush through her hair. He could feel the chilly night air pressing in on them, but it didn't seem to make him feel any colder and he realised she must have used a warming charm on them without him noticing.

He brought the broom around in one long final sweep before bringing it back to the ground and touching his feet down. He felt Lily uncurl from in front of him, and she twisted round to face him as they hovered just inches from the ground. She raised one hand to his face and smiled at him. 'Thank you.' Then she curled her other hand into the front of his dress robes, reached her face up to his and kissed him.

For a moment he was completely unresponsive, frozen into place by the unexpected contact, but then James came to life under her hands. He let go of the broomstick and cupped her face with his hands, feeling the chill of the night lingering in her cheeks, in sharp contrast to the heat of her mouth. He slid his hands back to tangle them both in her hair, revelling in the coconut scent that tormented him daily, and used the leverage his grip offered to tilt her head and deepen the kiss. Her fist clenched and tightened its hold on his robes and her other hand slid round to grip the back of his neck and pull him closer.

His heart was hammering behind his ribs, she could feel it under her hand, but she was sure hers was beating just as fast as their breath mingled, and their tongues met, and his teeth nipped at her bottom lip and sent her pulse skipping and the blood roaring in her ears. The night air was cool, but she was burning up, combusting, melting under the influence of James Potter's mouth and hands.

'James?' Lily's voice was breathy and slightly hoarse as she broke away from the kiss. He kept his hands in her hair but stroked one of his thumbs gently over her cheek.

'Lily?'

'Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?' James felt the corners of his mouth turn up involuntarily, and he pulled her back towards him until he could rest his forehead on hers.

'I thought you'd never ask.'

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**A/N: ****IMPORTANT!**** No honestly, this one actually is important instead of being one of my usual rambling monologues. **

**When I write TT using Word I put in page breaks, but the format I use isn't supported in the document manager, so I've just been uploading chapters without the planned breaks. I've recently read through this fic online to see how it reads, and I think the flow would be improved by having those pauses in, so I'm going to go back through all the previously posted chapters and add in the breaks. The format will be the same as I've used here, the (J&L) and I will probably also correct any spelling, grammar or other mistakes that have been pointed out. **

**Anyway, the point I'm making in my special long-winded way is: I have no idea if me doing this will cause you to receive update notices for each chapter I modify, and I apologise if it does because you will be getting 17 of them! Chapter 19 is ****not**** finished – I've fallen behind again, I blame the fluff in my brain – and won't be posted until the weekend, so any notifications you receive before then are not for a new chapter. **

**Hopefully that all makes sense, and thank you all for putting up with my idiocy, you're all amazing.  
**


	19. Chapter 19 - Hogsmeade

**A/N: Thank you once again for your lovely supportive reviews for the last chapter! I'm sure I sound like a broken record in these author notes, but it really does make me happy to know that people read and enjoy my story and since I've been struggling with writer's block this week - this chapter just did _not_ want to come out - I needed the motivation!**

** On the plus side, there is more happy couple-ness than originally planned in this chapter. Well, why not?  
**

**Also, I think I may be a little bit in love with James.  
**

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November 1st was a beautiful sunny day. The drapes Lily had forgotten to close the night before allowed the early morning sun to stream into her room and she smiled dreamily as she woke to the feel of the sunlight warming her face. She stretched out, arms extended above her head and then relaxed and rolled over to the other side of her bed, where she came face to face with a white lily lying on the pillow next to her. Reaching out a hand to touch it her smile grew wider as she recalled James tucking it gently into her hair the night before.

_James. _The sudden reminder of why she was feeling so damned pleased with herself this morning had her turning onto her back and staring at the ceiling, anxiously twisting her hands round each other.

Now that had been a bit of a bolt from the blue; she'd had no intention of wandering off from the ball to go flying with him last night, and she certainly hadn't planned to, well, essentially _throw_ herself at him, but both had been prompted by urges she just couldn't - and hadn't wanted to - suppress. She'd just been so damn happy to be there with him, and he'd made her laugh so much, and she felt so much stronger when his arms were around her and he looked at her like she mattered; and quite honestly, she simply hadn't been able to help herself.

Everything had seemed so uncomplicated there in the moonlight, and when they had finally made their way back to their dorm and said goodnight each had been too wrapped up in the other to even consider what would happen in the morning. Lily lay there in her bed and searched her mind, but couldn't find even the slightest shred of regret at what she had done. She was obviously completely shameless these days; apparently James could have that effect on a girl.

Doing her best to silence any nagging doubts that _James _might have woken up cursing their stupid behaviour of the night before, she rolled inelegantly out of bed and staggered as she felt the shooting pins and needles in her left leg.

'Bloody...Merlin...Ow!'

She rubbed her leg furiously, trying to massage some life back into it, but that only stirred up memories of James' hands running up and down her arms and over her bare shoulders as he kissed her. Damn it, was everything going to remind her of him now? Was she going to be one of those girls that went through the day completely unable to focus and sighing over every little thing? Hell if she was.

She glanced quickly in the mirror for brief reassurance and headed for her door, still in her pyjama shorts and camisole, limping slightly on her numb leg. She just needed to _see_ James; to reassure herself that nothing had really changed, she was still the same and so was he. She pushed open her door and headed for the common room to see if he was up; she was halfway down the stairs before her sleep-addled and emotionally exhausted brain registered the smell of fresh coffee.

And there he was; clad only in blue checked pyjama bottoms, his naked back towards her and his bare feet tapping along with whatever tune he was humming as he made coffee at the small sideboard in the corner. Her heart gave a little stutter, and if you'd asked her right at that moment, she would have sworn that the world had stopped spinning for just an instant. Mentally cursing herself for thinking like a love struck fool – again – she began to take a step towards him when he stretched up to a high cupboard and pulled down two mugs in one hand, the other ruffling his hair absently as it always did when he was thinking.

Momentarily distracted as she was by the way the muscles of his shoulders and back moved as he reached up, it took a second for her to realise that two mugs obviously meant he was planning on making a cup for her as well. She was torn for a minute, trying to decide whether to continue over to him or to go back upstairs and see if he would bring her coffee in bed.

Deciding that pretending to let him wake her would not only cheapen the gesture, but prolong her nervous state she made her way across the common room.

'Making coffee?'

Her voice made him jump; he must have been deep in thought, because normally you didn't have a hope of sneaking up on James unless you were Sirius, the only other person in the castle that rivalled him for stealth. He twisted his head round to see her over his shoulder, but didn't break stride in his coffee preparation, which was close to second nature by now. He gave her a lazy smile and turned his attention back to the coffee pot.

'I am.' His voice was still thick with sleep, a slight layer of roughness coating his deep tones.

Lily walked directly up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his back. 'Never go away.'

James smile grew wider as he continued to pour coffee into the two mugs. 'Don't get too excited Evans, I didn't say I was making coffee for _you_.'

'There are two mugs.'

'They're both for me.'

A thought occurred to her and made her grin wickedly. 'Really?' She planted a kiss on his back, directly on his backbone and felt his whole body stiffen under her lips for just a second. She kissed slightly higher up and was sure she saw his Adam's apple bob as he gulped; she trailed her lips up his spine until she reached the very base of his neck where she stopped to breathe in his ear. 'Isn't there anything I can do to convince you to let me have one of them?'

She'd had to stand on tip-toe to reach, so it was incredibly easy for James to reach an arm round his back and pull her off balance, lifting and circling her round in front of him and settling her backside on the counter.

'That was just mean Evans. Very foul play there.' His hands had settled on her hips, his thumbs reaching just under her camisole and brushing light circles on her bare skin. 'Going to make it up to me?'

'Only if you give me coffee.'

'You, love' - he tugged her closer to him until she was perched on the very edge of the sideboard and hovered his lips over hers - 'can have anything you damn well want.'

He pressed his lips to hers and closed the distance between their bodies, and Lily felt herself relax and sink into him; his body was warm and firm against hers as he pressed her into the counter top, and his mouth was so fervently kissing hers, and he was just so..._James_. Why had she been worried about this? His thumbs were still rubbing over her hipbones, sending little sparks running over her skin and making her shudder; her hands ran up his arms and down again, then back to grip his shoulders and pull him nearer. Her bare leg hooked around his waist and jerked him closer, and it was impossible to tell whether it was the aggression of the movement or the friction of skin against skin that made them both gasp. His hands clenched on her sides and she felt the tips of his fingers dig in hard for just a second, before his hands moved up under her top to the bottom of her ribcage, where his fingers trailed delicious tickling lines over her bare flesh. He kissed her like there was nothing else in the world but the two of them and that moment, and she held onto him for all she was worth because it felt like she'd break if she let go of him; he kissed all her cares away until she was breathless and flushed and more than a little dishevelled.

James reached breaking point first, and he pulled carefully away - before he lost his head and tried to do something entirely stupid - planting one last gentle kiss on her lips, trying to pour all the longing he'd ever felt over the last few years into it so she'd _know_. Out of breath and drained, they broke apart and she slumped against his chest, circling her arms round his waist once more and turning her head to one side so she could hear his heartbeat against her cheek, and know that it was racing because of her.

'James?'

'Hmm?' He had his eyes closed as he rested his head on top of hers, fingers running through the hair that ran down her back.

'What should we tell people?'

He'd been waiting for this; her worrying about other people when it was plainly obvious that no-one but the two of them mattered in this. He was much too used to her way of thinking to be surprised by it anymore.

'What do you want to tell people love?' His hands continued their soothing strokes through her hair.

'I don't know. I don't really want to tell them anything. I don't mean Sirius or Marly or our other friends, I can tell them anything; I just don't want to hear everyone else's opinion on this.'

'Then we won't tell them anything.' He lifted his hands to her face and tilted her head back, observing her swollen lips and overly-bright eyes with a certain amount of satisfaction. 'You tell who you want to tell and leave it at that. The rest of them can bugger off, not to put too fine a point on it.' He ran a thumb over her cheek to catch a stray eyelash then, seeing no reason not to, planted a kiss over the spot. 'I'm not saying we deny it or anything, we just won't… advertise it. If anyone asks and you don't want to talk about it, say it's none of their business.' Another kiss, on the side of her nose this time.

'And you're okay with that?'

This kiss landed on her eyebrow, and then two more were placed on her eyelids as they fluttered closed. 'You think being the subject of some school gossip bothers me? It's not like I'm new to the experience.' He put his hands on her shoulders and began to knead the tenseness out of them. 'Look, love, I'm not talking about lying. Not wanting to offer the gossip mill any fuel isn't the same as hiding something. I don't need to run around telling everyone I meet about us, but equally I don't care if they find out. Just let whatever's going to happen, happen.'

He stepped back from her and cupped her face in his hands. 'It can be that simple Lil, if you let it.'

He held eye contact until she nodded quickly, and then pulled her in for a hug. 'Now drink your sodding coffee.'

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Dumbledore had announced that the Hogsmeade trip on the 7th November was to be the last one of the term and because of that there seemed to be far more people there than usual; every shop was heaving with Hogwart's pupils trying to do their Christmas shopping early, while at the same time stocking up on everything they'd need to last the rest of the term.

'Look at them, they're like locusts.' Sirius gestured through the window at the huge crowd of students in Honeyduke's, practically ransacking the shelves. He and Marlene stood there for a moment looking in, both beginning to laugh as a fight broke out over the last bag of chocolate mint fudge.

The snow was thick on the ground and Marlene was wrapped up in his cloak with him, sheltered from the cold in the air. He was in Hogsmeade, he was laughing with a beautiful girl who shared his somewhat bawdy sense of humour and he was on his way to the Three Broomsticks to meet his best friends in the world. What didn't make sense, then, was the strange feeling of dread he had somewhere in the back of his mind, the subtle nagging feeling that something was horribly wrong.

He shook the depressive thoughts off; there were too few good days at the moment to risk sullying one with odd flights of fancy he couldn't even explain. He bent his head to kiss the little bit of exposed skin under Marlene's ear and felt an odd surge of contentment from such a simple, casual gesture. She craned her head back to look at him and smiled – a slow, unhurried smile that let him know she shared his sentiments without her having to say a word. They'd never been much for talking anyway.

A flash of red caught Marlene's eye and she glanced in its direction, smiling at what she saw. She elbowed Sirius in the ribs and jerked her head, indicating that he should look.

James and Lily were heading in their direction, slowly winding their way through the crowds of people, hand in hand, stopping every now and again to say hello to somebody or to look in a shop window. Sirius couldn't help breaking out into a grin at the sight of their ridiculously happy faces as Lily laughed at something James had said and punched him lightly in the chest. The movement caused her Gryffindor scarf to loosen around her neck and one end to flap loose, and James used their still joined hands to bring her to a stop so he could adjust it for her.

As he carefully replaced it, Sirius caught sight of a tell-tale gold symbol on it and laughed, making Marlene furrow her brow in confusion at him. 'What?'

'Prongs, that's what. He's more devious than I've ever given him credit for. I'm sure he gave Lily a very noble speech about how he was absolutely _fine_ with not broadcasting their relationship to the world. I'm sure it sounded _completely _sincere. Might have known he'd find a way to put his mark on her a bit more subtly. So subtly I don't think she's noticed actually.'

'Black, what _are_ you blathering about? Don't make me hex you.' Marlene pointed a finger at him in mock threat.

'Aw, you wouldn't do that to me. Think how lonely you'd be tonight if I was in the hospital wing.' Marlene's face stayed set in its expression of mock sternness, and he huffed an exaggerated sigh. 'Fine. Maybe it's a bloke thing, because it seems to have escaped your notice as well, but dearest Lily is not wearing _her_ Gryffindor scarf. She's wearing the scarf belonging to the _Gryffindor Quidditch Captain_.'

Marlene spun on her heel and squinted at her friend; now Sirius mentioned it, she could see the Captain's insignia, as well as the badges that noted James' three Quidditch Cup wins on the scarf Lily was wearing.

'Wonder how he convinced her to wear it?' Sirius mused as he wrapped his arms more securely around Marlene's waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he looked over it. 'It's pretty much the equivalent of stamping "mine" across her forehead; every bloke knows you don't go for a girl if she's wearing another blokes Quidditch scarf.' Noting Marlene's disbelieving look, Sirius felt the need to defend his comments. 'What? Men have a code.'

'I'm sure they do.' Replied Marlene, slowly and deliberately. 'I'm just surprised you know it, that's all. I don't see a little thing like a scarf stopping you going after a girl.'

He couldn't help the wicked grin. 'Maybe not. But I am _Sirius Black, _love. Normal rules are suspended for someone like me.' He kissed her cheek, her temple and her hairline and back again, and was rewarded with a bout of giggles. 'Still, remind me to give you mine when we get back. Wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea.'

She turned in his arms and batted her eyelashes at him. 'I suppose not.'

Their – very enjoyable – kiss was interrupted when a snowball hit Sirius in the side of the face. Marlene pushed him away with a squeal and the two of them span around to face Lily and James who were stood a few feet away wearing identical expressions of innocence.

'You…you…' Sirius spluttered through a faceful of snow. 'You git Prongs!'

'Wasn't me.' James face was a picture of injured innocence, it practically glowed. 'Would I do something like that to you Padfoot?'

Sirius' glare flickered quickly to Lily, who looked positively cherubic as she smiled sweetly at him. 'More likely to be one of those Ravenclaw guys over there. They didn't look like they were enjoying your…uh…display.'

Sirius eyes narrowed as he noted the slight powdering of snow on Lily's gloves. 'This isn't over, my little Tiger. Don't sleep too easily.'

'Bloody cold isn't it?' Marlene returned to Sirius' arms and interrupted the potential looming war of insults. 'Can't remember the last time we had this much snow this early in November.'

'Foggy too. All this mist floating around. It's downright miserable; I mean I usually love the snow, but there's just something depressing about today.' Lily shivered and wrapped her cloak more firmly around herself, tugging James' scarf more securely round her neck. 'Can't wait for a warm butterbeer myself.'

'Then let's _go_.' James hauled on her hand. 'You guys coming?'

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The four of them made their way up the street towards the Three Broomsticks, and as they approached they caught up with Remus and Emma heading in the same direction. James looked pointedly at Emma and wiggled his eyebrows at Remus who gave an exasperated sigh and shook his head.

Lily stopped as they passed Scrivenshafts. 'I just need to stop in for a minute, I'll catch you up.'

'I'll come in with you Lil.' James offered.

She smiled at him. 'Like you want to put one foot in here. I only need ink, I won't be long.'

'I need a quill.' Remus interjected. 'I'll come with you.' He glared at James and Sirius. 'It'll be nice to go in here with someone who won't moan the whole time.'

The bell on the door jangled as they entered, and they both stopped in sheer amazement at the scene before them.

'Well, it's certainly the busiest I've ever seen it.' Remus spoke weakly.

He wasn't kidding. The shop was _heaving_. Lily was used to having it more or less to herself whenever she went in and she was sure Remus probably was too. They exchanged glances.

'Meet you back here in five?' Lily suggested. Remus nodded and the two of them pushed through the crowd in opposite directions.

The section for inks was relatively quiet; obviously not a priority for most Hogwarts students. Lily browsed through the shelves, quickly selecting two or three bottles. She bent down to the bottom shelf to examine a new type of everlasting ink.

'Not so much changed your tune as singing from a completely different hymn sheet then.' Severus Snape's mocking voice came from behind her. 'Never thought you'd stoop _that_ low.'

She held still for a moment, making sure she had a firm grip on her emotions before she straightened up and turned to face him. His face was pale as ever, his expression stony, but his dark eyes burned almost black with hate and rage. 'And how low is that?'

'Potter.' He spat the name. 'I wondered what had prompted your change of _heart_, and then I heard you stayed with him over the summer. Found out about the family money did you?' He took a step towards her. 'Or is it that he's pureblood? What other reasons could you have for screwing an _arrogant toerag_ you've always hated?'

Lily felt her hands bunch into fists, and it took more effort than she thought possible to prevent herself from attacking him. In some part of her mind that wasn't crazed with anger she wondered if this was how James had felt for the last six years.

'Firstly, you have _no idea_ what's between me and James. None. Secondly, you have no right to ask me about it, because it's none of your business!' Her voice, which had started out in a remarkably level tone was practically a hiss by the end of the sentence.

Snape's eyes blazed and his lips thinned in displeasure. 'You're right, it's not. Why should I care if you've decided to play mudblood whore for Potter?' He observed her cheeks pale with a sort of spiteful pleasure as the insult hit home. 'But I'm sorry to disappoint you Lily; his blood status won't be enough to protect you. Especially if he keeps dragging his name though the mud with his _unsavoury_ connections.' His lip curled in a sneer, and Lily stared at the boy she once considered her friend. Had he always been like this and she'd just not been able to see it? Or had he _become_ this, and she'd taken no notice until it was thrown in her face?

'Everything alright?' The quiet, deep tones of Remus interrupted them as he came to stand alongside Lily. He looked calm and unruffled, but Lily could see his hand rested on his wand and his composed exterior didn't quite hide his preparedness to use it if needs be.

'Fine. I don't think I need these inks after all.' Lily deposited them back on the shelf and took Remus' arm. 'Are you all done?'

'I am.' Remus confirmed, and with one last suspicious look at Snape he allowed Lily to tug him towards the door.

'I don't think you quite understood me Lily.' Snape's voice came after them, low and vicious. 'But don't worry.' He pushed her roughly out of his way as he headed for the door. 'By the end of today you might.'

Lily felt Remus' arm twitch towards his wand, but it didn't worry her. The most thoughtful of the Marauders wasn't known for hexing unnecessarily, not even in revenge for an insult. The second they were out of the door, the cold air of the street hit and she felt a shudder run through her; Remus felt it and looked at her with concern, but didn't slow his pace as they headed for the Three Broomsticks.

'I'm okay. He was just being a git. Trying to rile me up about James.' Remus face displayed his understanding; Lily thought he probably grasped the situation perfectly just from what he'd observed. Remus was like that. 'Do me a favour?' she added.

He smiled down at her. 'Lips are sealed. It'll be our little secret.'

Typical Remus. She gave his arm a grateful squeeze, and they entered the warmth and noise of the Three Broomsticks.

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Two hours of butterbeer, laughter and incredibly tuneless singing with her favourite people in the world had been just what she needed. Of course, she couldn't deny that the general warmth of James' presence had a lot to do with the boost in her mood, but after her altercation with Snape she was grateful for the reminder that she still had fantastic friends.

They left the pub as a group, Sirius still loudly belting out a tune of his own composition that he had apparently called 'When Gryffindor's rule the world'. The street was quieter now and the mist that had been blowing around all day was thickening but there were still plenty of Hogwarts pupils wandering around, although voices were subdued in the gloom. They were all struck anew by the incredibly unseasonable cold, and Lily felt her whole body begin to shiver and her good mood plummet. Her skin felt like ice and, fanciful though it sounded, her heart felt cold and heavy. Even Sirius appeared to be affected by the chill, since his lewd singing had ceased, and the whole group seemed to have slowed to a snail's pace.

'This is not normal.' Remus sounded worried, and one by one the group came to a stop in the street, turning to face each other.

'What's that Moony?' Peter's teeth were chattering as he asked the question.

'The weather. It's too cold for November, and this can't be natural mist.' Remus' frown only grew deeper as he continued to consider the situation.

'Doesn't sound good mate. If it's not natural, I can only think of one thing that causes this kind of change in the weather.' Feeling the anxiety in the air, James pulled Lily to him, and held her tight against his front. Normally, just the fact that he was touching her and she was letting him would be enough to make his heart jump, but he couldn't seem to find even a small amount of comfort in it now.

'Wands out then?' Peter already had his in his hand, and the others quickly followed.

'You don't really think…?' Marlene trailed off before she could finish the sentence, her eyes darting around the street.

'That there are Dementors in Hogsmeade? It's a long way from Azkaban I know.' Remus' eyes were narrowed as he strained his werewolf sensitive hearing for any sign of the creatures. 'It _sounds _insane, but so does Inferi on the school train. And I feel incredibly miserable and it's getting worse by the second. How about the rest of you?'

Miserable didn't seem to cover it. Lily felt _awful_. Her brain was in overdrive, replaying every insult Petunia had ever flung at her, every sneer from Severus, every "mudblood" that had ever been flung her way. She was colder than she had ever been before and she felt as if she'd never be warm again. She wanted to pass out and never wake up. She wanted to die. She couldn't even feel James' arms holding onto her anymore; he was gone. Lost.

Just as she thought she couldn't take the painful pressure behind her eyes anymore, just when it seemed easier to stop fighting and let herself fall into the shadows that surrounded them, a silvery cat bounded up to them and batted its paws at the dark mist hovering over them. The darkness began to clear slightly and the awful misery abated a little as the patronus forced the cloud cast by the Dementors away from them.

'Potter?' The voice was female, had a Scottish lilt and was instantly recognisable.

'Yes Professor?' James voice sounded a little shaky, and there was more than a touch of relief to it as he addressed Professor McGonagall, who had followed her patronus and now stood in front of them.

'And Miss Evans too. Good. Mr Lupin?' She looked for Remus, nodding approvingly when she spotted him stood next to Sirius. 'Excellent. Both Head Students and a Prefect.' She addressed the three of them directly. 'As I'm sure you've noticed, there are Dementors here; we need to return the students to the castle immediately. Could I ask you three to please circle though the village and escort any Hogwarts Pupils you find back to the carriages? You have all cast a patronus before haven't you?'

'We have Professor, but only in class.' Lily looked a little uncomfortable to be voicing her doubts. 'We've never had to actually try it in a real situation before...'

'But we'll manage.' James gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and Professor McGonagall nodded approvingly before turning to look at the rest of the group. 'Whilst I'm aware that the rest of you are not Prefects, I'm going to ask that you go and stay with the carriages and keep control of the situation. We do not need a panic. I trust I can rely on you?' This was said with a pointed look at Sirius, who managed a cocky smile for the first time since the Three Broomsticks. She gave them one final curt nod and left, the outline of her figure disappearing into the mist, the silver glow of her patronus casting a strange halo of light around her as it walked at her side.

Sirius took Marlene's hand and led her towards the carriages, punching Lily in the arm as he went. 'For luck.' He offered innocently, and quickly skipped past her before she could retaliate. Peter and Emma followed them, leaving Lily, James and Remus alone in the sudden eerie quiet as their friends disappeared into the mist.

'Well.' Remus spoke as quietly as always, but his voice echoed loudly in the street as he stepped forward and pulled his wand out. 'Once more into the breach?'

Without waiting for a response, he picked a direction and headed off; Lily gripped James hand more firmly, and they followed the werewolf into the fog.

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**A/N: Again, I owe JK Rowling an apology for the blatant liberties I have taken with her world. I have no idea if Remus would have heightened senses whilst human, and I have played around with the mental effects Dementors have for my own purposes. This will probably continue in the next chapter.**

**Also, I had a huge fit of giggles in the middle of the chapter because as I was writing the Sirius-and-Marlene bit I had this insane mental image of Sirius saying "I am _Sirius Black, _love" in the style of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. Seriously, go back and re-read it and imagine it in your head. Hilarious.  
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	20. Chapter 20 - Dementors

******A/N: This chapter was a swine to write. I hope you enjoy reading it, because I feel the need for a lot of ice-cream and a really long bubble bath to recover from writing it. **

******For those of you who were worried that Lily was going to be a bit weak in this - don't worry, she's absolutely not, it's just that I think she's a little sensitive to Dementors (I kind of got that from The Prince's Tale when she's asking Snape about the Dementors, and she seems worried about them).**_**  
**_

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It was odd how the fog made them feel compelled to speak in whispers; how it had a strangely claustrophobic effect, isolating and insulating them from the rest of the world. Their voices seemed to echo too loudly, but almost no other sound reached them through the thick walls of white. It affected others too; every time they found a group of Hogwart's pupils, they were also huddled close together and conversing only in whispers.

Fortunately, the majority of students had tired of the cold earlier than usual today and had headed back before the Dementors had made their presence felt, so there weren't too many to be found in the streets of Hogsmeade. The few that they had come across so far were on the main streets and were happy to be escorted back to the carriages – even those that hadn't directly come into contact with the awful beings had felt the creeping cold and misery that they inflicted on the entire area. Most of them were shaking. James found himself wondering how widely people's experiences of the Dementors differed. He was no fool; he'd observed that Sirius, Lily, Remus and Marlene had all suffered the effects of the Dementor's presence more than he, Peter and Emma had. It was no coincidence that those four all had nastier memories lurking in the backs of their minds. He risked a sideways glance at Lily, wondering if she'd tell him what the Dementors had forced her to relive. He thought he could hazard an educated guess.

Remus was still leading as the three of them walked once more through the village, wands held cautiously out ahead of them, boots crunching through the snow as they went. None of them had been particularly keen on experiencing the sheer misery and wretchedness brought on by the presence of Dementors again, so they had decided to follow Professor McGonagall's example and keep a patronus with them at all times. To save any of them having to bear the strain of maintaining the charm for the entire time, they were taking it in turns and currently Lily's doe was prancing cheerfully round them.

James smiled a little to see it. He'd never noticed before, but there was a definite manifestation of Lily's personality in her patronus; something in the way it moved reflected her character. He wondered briefly whether the same was true for all patronuses – did his patronus move with less precise care and more recklessness than hers? He'd have to watch it a bit more carefully next time.

In front of him, Remus came to an abrupt halt and held up a hand to silence any questions before they could even be asked. He angled his head and listened for a second before gesturing to an alleyway that led behind the Hog's Head, its opening only just visible in the smothering mist. Lily stepped forward, her patronus moving closer to her as she approached the entrance to the alley.

'Anyone there?' Her voice was low and quiet, but still clearly audible. There was a faint rustling noise that faded back to silence for a moment, then a crash that seemed to reverberate as loud as a gunshot in the muffled quiet. James' wand arm came up alongside Lily's before he'd even consciously made the decision to move. She smacked his arm down and glared before she moved further into the alley, which wasn't wide enough to admit two. James opened his mouth to suggest that he went first, but closed it again after a brief moment of clear thinking. He'd been on the receiving end of a few too many of Lily Evans' hexes to knowingly invite another one, and he had to assume that she was just as capable of defending herself against others as she'd once been at jinxing him into oblivion.

He took a deliberate step back and earned an approving glance from the redhead. The small smile playing at the corner of Remus' mouth suggested that his friend knew _exactly_ what James' thought process had been – sometimes the werewolf was a little too perceptive for James' liking.

Lily's figure disappeared into the fog for a moment, and both boys tensed when they lost sight of her; there was something incredibly unnerving about knowing she was there but being unable to see her at all. No matter how well aware they were of her magical capabilities – and there was no-one better aware - there was an instinctive and unshakeable sense of unease at allowing a friend to make herself vulnerable by leaving the group.

There was a muffled thump from the alley, followed by the zing of a curse being thrown. The flash of light which accompanied a spell being cast reflected strangely in the haze and made it impossible to judge exactly where it had come from; then a figure came barrelling out of the alley towards them, a figure dressed in black robes that most certainly _did not_ have red hair.

James raised his wand, but hesitated. He had no reason to assume that the person running was an enemy, and he was wary of injuring an innocent person, but foremost in his thoughts was the fact that he could neither see nor hear Lily, and his mind was simply not in the game. Fortunately for him, Remus' _was_, and rather than risk a curse that could miss in the poor light, he settled for sticking his foot out and tripping the runner up.

'Ooompf!' The figure went down face-first in a flurry of limbs; they landed hard and stayed down, unmoving aside from a few groans. It was clearly a student – the Hogwarts scarf being an obvious giveaway – so James reached down and hauled the person up by their collar.

'Avery. Fancy seeing you here.' The Slytherin tried to yank himself away from James, who had a firm hold on a handful of his robes. 'All students are to go back to the castle – perhaps you didn't hear the message? What could you have been doing, hanging around back alleys avoiding Hogwarts staff?' The accusation was veiled, but it was there.

'Wasn't.' Avery curled his lip in a sneer, but it was obvious to all three of them that he was trying hard to keep a grip on his temper. 'Didn't hear any message.'

'Got lost in the fog did you?' Remus' tone was scathing, but there was a threatening undertone that any of the Marauders would have known better than to ignore.

Before Avery could respond – and James could just _see_ the insult on the tip of his tongue – there was a rush of footsteps behind them, a flash of red light, and a second figure in dark robes fell heavily into the snow by their feet as the trip jinx caught his legs.

'Sorry!' Lily's voice came through the fog from behind them, her tones falsely honeyed as she dashed towards them. 'You just ran straight into that jinx that I just happened to be practising in the street. Maybe you should look where you're running.' She offered a sickly sweet smile to Graham Nott as she stood with her wand casually yet pointedly held towards him as he struggled up into a sitting position.

'Damned Mudblood.' He grunted the words out, not quite under his breath. James' wand was touching his neck just under his ear in an instant, and it didn't seem possible that anyone could have covered the intervening space so quickly.

'I invite you to say that again.' He spoke quietly, and the threat in his voice was all the more effective for it. Nott scowled at him, and he was obviously gearing himself up for a fight when Avery shook his head, almost imperceptibly. Nott kept quiet and James removed his wand and took a step back.

'Twenty points from Slytherin, and you can both serve a detention on Monday night. We'll leave it to Professor Slughorn to decide what it'll be. We'll be escorting you back to the carriages now. Get up.'

Avery reached down a hand and pulled Nott to his feet, using the back of his robes to do so. 'You can't tell us what to do Potter.' He growled the words as he squared himself up to James, ignoring Remus and Lily completely.

James offered him a half-smile. 'Well, I can actually. You see I have this shiny, shiny badge here that makes it all possible.' He gestured to the Head Boy badge pinned to his scarf.

'Enjoy it while you can Potter. You won't find the real world as forgiving of your behaviour as Dumbledore is.' Avery looked smug and his point wasn't lost on any of them; subtlety was usually a common Slytherin trait, but it was a mystery to these two.

'Move.' Remus didn't bother wasting any more words on them, he simply jerked his wand to indicate the direction her expected them to take.

The group hadn't gone more than a few steps when the shadow of another person loomed through the mist, accompanied by the faint silvery glow that they had already come to associate with a patronus. Professor Slughorn appeared in front of them, his shimmering fox trotting along behind him.

'Lily m'dear! Still rounding up the stragglers I see.'

'Of course Professor. We Gryffindors never shirk a duty you know.' Lily relaxed slightly in the presence of one of her favourite professors.

He chuckled loudly at her reference to her house. 'Now, now. Conscientiousness isn't _solely_ a Gryffindor trait, as I'm sure you will allow.'

'Of course Professor.' She offered him a beaming smile. 'Unfortunately I have to report that these two' - she gestured at Avery and Nott - 'were not being particularly co-operative today. We found them in the alley behind the Hog's Head, and they seem to object to being asked to return to the school. I'm afraid I couldn't _in good conscience_ ignore it, so they will be serving detention with you on Monday.'

James and Remus remained quiet, allowing Lily to carry the conversation which was much more likely to go in her favour than Avery or Nott's; Slughorn had his favourites, but they were not usually selected along house lines, and Lily was his absolute darling. Indeed, Slughorn was already frowning his displeasure at the two Slytherins.

'Is that so? Well then boys, why don't you come to the carriages with me and we'll discuss behaviour becoming a member of Slytherin house shall we? The Head students will be free to continue with their final checks then. Or did you need any additional help Lily m'dear?' He turned his attention back to her.

'Oh no Professor, we were just making one final circuit to check. I'm quite confident we've managed to round up all the students. Just a precaution.'

Slughorn beamed at her. 'You're a credit to your house and the school Miss Evans, and a fine Head Girl to boot. You three carry on.'

Slughorn and the two boys disappeared quickly through the gloom, and James and Remus both turned to Lily expectantly.

Knowing what they waiting for, she sighed. 'I can't prove it, because I couldn't see properly through this bloody murk, but those two were definitely up to something unsavoury. They sent a curse at me as soon as they saw me and legged it in different directions. Avery was running straight towards you so I went after Nott, who thought he could lose me by circling through another alley. Prat.'

'Anything in the alley?' Remus enquired.

'Don't think so. Hard to tell in this.' Lily gestured at the deep fog, frustration positively pouring off her. 'They may be thick, but I doubt they're stupid enough to leave evidence of what they were doing behind. We aren't going to be able to find it today anyway. We may as well get going.'

James cut in. 'How long have we been at this anyway?' He stifled a yawn and stretched his arms behind his back.

Remus checked his watch. 'About 40 minutes, give or take. Feels longer.'

'Come on, let's see if we can find a teacher, see how much longer we need to patrol for.' James reached for Lily's hand. 'Can't believe the Ministry are taking so bloody long to get here, you'd reckon they'd be all over this like goblins on gold. Dementors miles away from Azkaban and apparently outside of Ministry control? Not good for them.'

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The three of them continued walking along the main street, for what seemed like the hundredth time that afternoon but was probably only the tenth. Their voices were subdued as they went, Lily's in particular and James realised then just how long she'd been sustaining her patronus and how tiring it must be. He surreptitiously pulled out his wand and cast his stag; it galloped straight past them, ignoring them totally and went directly to nuzzle at her doe. Lily smiled and let her spell fade, and he could have sworn the stag actually looked disappointed for a moment as the doe dissolved.

Remembering his realisation of earlier, James let his attention focus on the behaviour of his patronus, trusting Remus and Lily to observe their surroundings. His stag was definitely more erratic than her doe; it seemed less contained and more prone to wandering. Still, they seemed about as effective as each other, so maybe the variation was only in behaviour not power. He made a mental note to ask Professor Flitwick at some point.

They were just reaching the top of the main street when they heard a loud scrabbling sound and then muffled laughter – a harsh, grating laugh which contained very little actual humour. They stopped and Lily and James remained silent while Remus strained his senses to try and isolate the direction of the sound. He took a hesitant few steps to his left and stopped to listen again.

A shockingly loud scream broke through the silence and Remus winced painfully once before he span round and ran in the opposite direction to the one he'd been facing. Years of friendship had James pursuing him without a second thought, and after a moment's hesitation Lily chased after them. The scream came again, louder and more desperate, and all three of them pushed their bodies to run harder without even having to think about it.

James thanked Merlin for his Quidditch training as his lungs began to burn and his muscles protested the sudden exertion as he ran full tilt after his friend; he was just managing to keep Remus' back in sight as he ran after him, and even in mid-run he had to take a moment to appreciate his fitness. He didn't glance behind him. It was a deliberate thing - he knew it would slow him down - and he had to stop himself from doing so more than once; Lily would _not_ appreciate the idea that he was trying to keep an eye on her, he had to trust her good judgement would keep her safe. Still, he _really_ hoped she was right behind him.

He rounded a corner and ploughed straight into Remus' back. His friend stumbled but stayed on his feet and his wolf patronus shot out from the end of his wand and hurtled towards the pair of Dementors that were hovering over a blonde girl lying on the ground, just beginning to remove their hoods. Her screams ceased as the great silver beast leapt at the cloaked figures and they fled from the flickering screen of light.

James detected Lily's red hair in his peripheral vision as she caught up with them and he heaved a silent sigh of relief, though he gave no outward indication of his concern. Remus was on his knees at the girl's side; James recognised her as Julia Huxley, a seventh year Ravenclaw who was in their Potions class. He had helped her into a sitting position and was wrapping her cloak more securely around her. There was a nasty gash on her head and she was extremely shaken, but she seemed otherwise unharmed.

'Why didn't you go back to the carriages?' Remus asked gently.

Julia shook her head listlessly. 'Couldn't.' She trembled violently and Remus put a comforting hand on her shoulder. 'Someone grabbed me, and I hit my head and got confused.' She was speaking quickly and her words were a little garbled. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked up at Remus gratefully as he rubbed up and down her upper arm soothingly. 'A man in a black mask. He pulled me into this alley and then those two _things_ were there, and then…' she trailed off and buried her face into Remus' chest to cry silent tears.

James fished through his pockets for the chocolate frog he knew he had put there earlier and threw it to Remus, who offered it to Julia. She took it wordlessly and turned her head slightly to mouth a silent thank you at James, who shrugged. He kept his eyes trained on Lily as she moved cautiously to the far end of the alley where Remus' wolf still padded up and down restlessly. She hadn't taken more than a dozen steps when a jet of green light flew past her ear and hit the wall behind her where it left a smoking hole. She dropped to the ground quickly and James threw up a shield between the four of them and the direction the curse had come from. Remus pulled Julia to her feet and stepped in front of her, his hand resting gently on her forearm to hold her in place.

They stood perfectly still for a moment, trying to keep their breathing as hushed as possible. The world had fallen silent again, and while there were no footsteps to suggest there was anyone nearby, they knew full well that the attacker could just be waiting for them to give away their position, as they were doing with him.

James considered it a chance they would have to take; this had spiralled totally out of control and they had to get back to the carriages and report what had happened. He just hoped they could do so without encountering any more problems. He moved quickly and pulled Lily back to her feet; as she rose, she quickly added a shield charm to his in an attempt to encase them in magical protection. It wasn't perfect, but it should help. There was still no movement nearby, nothing to suggest that anyone else lingered in the fog around them, but after the day they'd had, they were in no mood to take any chances.

'Julia, can you walk okay?' Lily breathed the question, her voice quieter than a whisper. The other girl nodded and ran shaking fingers through her blonde bob, dragging the smear of blood from her forehead through it and staining a red streak. 'Just a little dizzy.'

'I'll keep hold of you.' Remus still held her arm, and he squeezed it reassuringly. 'Just stay close, we'll get you to the carriages. Trust me.' She gave him a grateful smile.

'If I can't trust a Marauder, who can I trust?' James smiled involuntarily at her attempt at humour, feeble though it was; at least they weren't going to have to drag a weeping hysterical female along with them. Julia, it seemed, was tougher than that.

They started to move back towards the main street, although it took them a moment to get their bearings; they hadn't been paying a great deal of attention to the direction they'd been heading in when they were racing towards Julia's screams.

They moved quickly but carefully, paying attention to their surroundings and trying to watch each other at the same times; they couldn't have gone much more than a few yards when a curse hit their shield and rebounded uselessly against a nearby dustbin. The magical barrier wavered but held steady.

'Oh, bollocks!' James hurled a hex in retaliation and heard a muffled grunt as it found its mark. Or what he hoped was its mark, bloody fog be damned.

Lily's wand was out and held in front of her as she turned in a slow circle on the spot, trying to locate any other threats. All four of them were breathing fast now, their nerves in tatters and the adrenaline pumping in their blood threatened to render them thoughtless as their fight-or-flight responses kicked in.

There was a shockingly loud tearing noise as a stream of magical fire came from one side of them and disintegrated their shield, and then hexes came flying at them from all directions. Remus threw a stunning hex and a muffled thump came through the swirl of fog, indicating that his aim had been good. James presumed that he had the advantage of being able to either hear or smell their opponents, and so was less constrained by the poor visibility that the other three struggled with. Trying to keep the others in sight at all times, James aimed a mixture of Impedimenta jinxes and disarming spells in random directions, rationalising that even if he did hit an innocent bystander it wouldn't actually injure them; Lily he could see had taken much the same approach and was scattering non-harmful spells in as unsystematic a way as possible.

He felt a sweeping rush of cold crash over him, and to his horror realised that in the confusion he had allowed his patronus to fade and somewhere along the way Remus' had also disappeared. He span on his heel and came face to face with a Dementor – or rather he would have done, had the Dementor's height not meant that it towered over him. The chill seeped through his body and sank into his bones, and he felt frozen, in mind and soul as well as body as he crumpled to the ground. He could think of nothing but hopelessness; of the war that loomed over them all, of the potential happiness that would be lost because of it. He could remember nothing but misery; the desolation of Sirius and Marlene as their families fell away, the expression on Lily's face as he provoked Snape into speaking the words that betrayed her...**Lily.** The thought stirred something in him and he was reaching for his dropped wand - knowing that it was hopeless, but reaching anyway – when a silver doe leaped over his shoulder and landed between him and the Dementor in a defiant crouch, daring it to come closer. The creature fled, and James could move again.

His hand closed over his wand and he rolled to his feet with an agility honed on the Quidditch pitch. Looking around quickly he spotted Lily and Julia crouched behind a low wall and Remus pressed up against the side of a building. A dark outline appeared briefly in the fog in front of them, only for an instant, but long enough for Lily to hit it with an Immobulus, followed by a quick Incarcerous.

James whistled, a quick short sound, and Remus instantly turned his attention to him.

'How many?' James mouthed at him.

Remus made a rocking motion with his hand then held up seven fingers. He gave James a second to absorb the information then deliberately folded three of his fingers down. Right. Approximately seven people, three of which had definitely been taken down. Even numbers now.

A beam of green light flew past Remus and he fired a curse back instantly; his temper was obviously fraying because there was far more venom behind it than James would have expected from him.

All at once they became aware that they could see more clearly; the gloom around them seemed to be lifting, and the strange oppressive feeling that the combination of fog and Dementors had inflicted was waning. A breeze was gently blowing the mist away, and though the wind blew a chill right through them, it was a physical cold they felt, rather than the unnatural spiritual coldness they had been fighting all day.

As the last tatters of the murk blew away, they quickly took stock of their surroundings; they were bottlenecked in a narrow alleyway alongside Zonko's Joke Shop, and whoever had been attacking them was out on the main street. The curses had stopped and there was no sound beyond the calling of the birds.

Now they could see clearly the four of them moved with greater confidence out of the alleyway, wands at the ready. Lily went first, and as she walked out boldly into the middle of the main street her jaw dropped; noting her response the others rushed out to join her and stopped, dumbfounded.

Three Hogwarts students were magically bound and propped up against a wall, their faces showing evidence of bruising and magically inflicted cuts. The wall behind them had a message seared onto it in red letters.

**BLOOD TRAITORS WILL NOT BE SPARED**

Lily inhaled sharply as her brain whirled into action and made the connection with the comments Snape had made just a few hours earlier.

_'His blood status won't be enough to protect you.'_

_'I don't think you quite understood me. By the end of today you might.'_

'They ran off. Won't get far though.' The deep voice came from behind them and made them all jump. James whirled around and aimed his wand high, only to lower it instantly when he saw who had spoken.

'Dad, you should know better than to sneak up on a bloke with a wand. I'm a little trigger-happy right now.'

'You're always a little trigger happy James. That's why our house is usually such a mess.' Charlus Potter aimed a cheerful smile at his son and his friends who if anything looked even more shocked to see him. 'Hello Remus. And you, Lily sweetheart. Now, who wants to tell me what's been going on?'

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Lily sat in the Three Broomsticks, her hands wrapped around her butterbeer for the warmth it provided. Funny, she felt colder now than she had all day, even though she was inside and there were no Dementors and no-one at risk of being tortured…

'You're in shock.' Charlus draped a blanket around her shoulders tucked it carefully round her. He sat next to her and eyed her speculatively for a minute. 'You've given your statement?'

She nodded quickly and took two more quick gulps of her drink; the liquid felt like acid burning down her throat but she choked it back anyway in the hope that it would settle the uneasy churning in her stomach.

'You can go back to the castle if you want sweetheart.' Charlus leant forward and covered her hand with his. 'Do you want me to get someone to take you? Remus?'

She shook her head listlessly. 'I want to wait for James.' The statement was automatic, no thought was necessary.

That one declaration confirmed Charlus' suspicions about his son and the red-haired girl sat next to him. Good for James. He wouldn't mention anything though; James would tell him and his mother when he was ready, of that Charlus was confident. He gave Lily's hand another pat and stood up. 'He won't be long, another few minutes. You call me if you need anything.' He took a few steps away, then stopped and half-turned back to face her. 'And Lily?' She looked up at him. '_Well done_ _sweetheart._'

Lily went back to staring at her drink on the table as she turned it round and round without thought. She had no idea how long she'd sat there, but the drink, and the blanket and Charlus' words had eased the worst of the sickness, the gut-wrenching shakes that wracked her body by the time James dropped down next to her.

'I may never come to Hogsmeade again. Ooh, blanket.' He un-tucked the blanket from her shoulders then re-wrapped it around both of them so they were cocooned together in a little hutch of warmth and comfort. 'I feel like I haven't been properly warm for hours.' He slid his cold hands under her jumper and ran them over her bare stomach, making her squeal and slap at his hands. They attracted the attention of several people, but neither noticed as they both felt their bodies actually relax for the first time in what seemed like an age.

James wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. In some inexplicable way she anchored him; this gorgeous, clever, brave girl with the ridiculously quick temper was what kept him going on days like these and today everything she'd done had reminded him of why she'd fascinated him in the first place. He squeezed her tighter and felt her lean into his chest.

'Are they okay?'

He understood her instantly and that mystified her. When had he got to know her so well that she barely needed to explain what she was thinking?

'Julia is fine, so are the three we untied; minor injuries really, bit of rest should have them good as new. No-one else was hurt.'

'Those three? Who were they?'

He sighed. He'd known she'd have questions, but he was really hoping that she would hold off asking them until tomorrow – after a day like today he just wanted to collapse into bed and sleep for as long as possible, and he was sure that was exactly what she needed too.

'Steven Corner, Dee Abbott and Miranda Armstrong.'

Lily did some quick thinking. 'Were they connected?' She couldn't see how; they were from a mixture of houses, they were different ages, took different classes. Maybe they'd just been convenient targets for someone's twisted idea of fun.

The exact question he _hadn't _wanted her to come up with. Fantastic. 'They are all from fairly prominent pureblood families. And their parents are all supporters of muggleborn rights – every one of them signed my mother's petition to the Minister about the Muggleborn Registration Act last month.' He waited for a response.

'There were going to get the Dementor's to kiss them weren't they? They were going to rip their souls out. Was it Death Eaters?' Her voice was so quiet that James wasn't sure he'd heard her right.

'Dad says almost certainly. It's not likely that some bigoted arseholes having fun would have Dementors with them. The Minister is likely doing his nut by now. The aurors drove the Dementors away from Hogsmeade, but that still means they're floating around somewhere outside of Ministry control.' He pulled her a little closer. 'They didn't catch anyone but the one you hit either, so Moody won't be happy.'

'Moody?'

'Alastor Moody. Head Auror.'

'I thought that was your Dad.'

'It was until a year or so ago when he got hurt on the job. Mum freaked and he took a step down to Head Investigator. He sifts information these days, no field work to speak of. He's only here because it's Hogsmeade. Pulled rank to come.'

'Oh.' Lily's voice tailed off, and since he couldn't think of anything else to say he just sat with her in his arms for a while.

'Kids?' Charlus was stood in front of them again, and neither Lily nor James could tell you if it had been an hour or ten minutes that they'd been sat there enclosed in a blanket together. James stretched his arms and raised an eyebrow at his father. 'There's a carriage here for you. You need to go back to the castle now.'

James pulled the blanket off them and handed it to his father before taking Lily's hand and heading towards the door where Remus and Julia were stood waiting for them.

'And owl your mother explaining yourself! I'm not taking the blame for you duelling Death Eaters in Hogsmeade!' Charlus bellowed words produced a smile from Lily, and James threw his father a wink and a wave before climbing into the carriage after her.

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**********A/N: Well, that's it folks! Hope you enjoyed it - it was really hard to try and get a sense of tension in this. **

**********Also, I'm pretty sure the plural of patronus is patronuses, but I had a moment of doubt that it might be patroni, so feel free to correct me!  
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**********I'm pretty busy between now and Christmas, so my updates are likely to be a little more infrequent, but I will do my best to publish at least one chapter a week.**_****__**  
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******************Let me know your thoughts! Love you guys X**


	21. Chapter 21 - Arguments

******A/N: So...hello again! Sorry it's been a little longer than normal - Christmas is coming and all. Busy, busy.  
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******This is slightly shorter than the last few chapters have been, but combining it with the next chapter would have made it _huge_ and taken much longer to finish, so I'm sticking with my original plan of updating more regularly with slightly shorter chapters! I hope that's okay with you guys and that no-one is too disappointed. **

******It's been a little bit of a rush to finish this, so please forgive me for any mistakes I've missed in my editing sweeps. Feel free to point them out though.**_**  
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******Anyway, hope you enjoy it, and with any luck I'll get another chapter up before Christmas, but if not I'll try and make it up to you with a double update the week after!  
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******Happy Holidays all, whatever you may be celebrating!  
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The three weeks after the Dementor attack on Hogsmeade were probably the strangest time James had ever spent at Hogwarts. Rumours were rife about the target and intended purpose of the attack – exacerbated by the Daily Prophet's somewhat sensational reporting - and there was a feeling of low-level panic crackling through the air. Students had begun to travel in groups as a precaution, and many carried their wands out at all times; this had resulted in a number of accidental injuries, as the slightest thing caused people to unleash curses in all directions without a second thought. The suspicion and hysteria was rising daily, and even the calming (or occasionally stern) words offered by the teachers did not seem to be having much of an effect. The school was a powder keg, and every day James worried that something would spark it off.

They'd had an emergency meeting of their Anti-Voldemort group –Lily had found it hysterically funny to refer to it as the AV club for some reason, and he enjoyed seeing her laugh so much they'd gone with it- soon after to find out what everybody knew. Which was almost exactly nothing as it turned out. He, Remus and Lily had been far more involved than anyone else and _they_ hadn't much of a clue what had happened; his dad had told him more than he probably should have, but even with that information they were still very much in the dark. Suspicions about certain Slytherins were at an all time high after the events in Hogsmeade, and members of the group were watching Snape, Mulciber and Avery at all times; James was also having Remus and Peter give lessons on how to produce a patronus, something he now considered essential.

Julia had been introduced to the group and had proven to be extremely funny and level-headed when she wasn't shocked and traumatised; the events with the Dementors had forged a strong bond between her and Remus, and the two of them had spent quite a lot of time buried in the library together recently, working on Agrippa knew what. James had chosen not to question Remus on any of this, recognising that his friend was a more private person than the rest of them, and that he would choose if and when to discuss something with them. With Sirius you yelled, with Peter you teased, but with Remus you just waited.

He walked up the stairs to the fourth floor, his footsteps weary. He felt like he'd been patrolling for hours, even though it was only – he checked his watch – 10 pm and he'd started at nine. He'd spent the day, like so many others this month, completely on edge, hyper-aware of every little thing and trying frantically to keep on top of everything and it was _exhausting_. He continued his rounds on automatic pilot, staring at his shoes as he scuffed them along the floor, fantasising about his bed, and how much he wished he was in it right now, and then that became how much he wished he was in his bed with _Lily_, and that was not going to help him get through his rounds calmly now was it?

'You bloody great prat!'

The shout came from the far end of the corridor and he jerked his head up quickly. Lily was storming down the hallway towards him, red hair flying, green eyes flashing and his heart did its usual little bounce when it saw her; it didn't matter that she was apparently angry with him over something, she was _his_ and she was _here_ and everything seemed easier, better, when she was in touching distance. He stopped and waited for her to reach him, the smile on his face refusing to fade even in view of her current temper, which seemed impressive even by her standards. He stood his ground and waited for the outburst as she steamed to a stop in front of him.

'What...were...you...thinking...you...complete...pillock?' She demanded, interspersing every word with a blow from her open hand, on his shoulder, his chest, his stomach.

James stood his ground and allowed her to hit him a few times before her caught her hand in his own.

'If you're going to physically abuse me, can I at least know what I did to deserve it?'

'You're doing it right now!' Lily's voice rose to a shriek. 'Which part of the new "no prefect rounds should be conducted alone" rule did you fail to understand?' She swung her other hand at him, and he captured that one too. He caught his breath for a minute, realising the potential of a situation in which they were alone in a corridor and he was holding onto both her wrists with his hands and she was plastered up against him as he restrained her.

'I understood the rule _and_ I'm well aware of the reason for it Lils, but Connors was supposed to patrol with me and he got hexed earlier and he's still in the hospital wing. What would you have preferred me to do?'

'Find another partner, get a teacher to take the patrol, bring Sirius with you, anything except go wandering off alone because you're a great big arrogant moron who thinks he can handle anything that comes his way!' Lily struggled in his grasp as she yelled at him, and he could practically see her considering whether she could kick him in the ankle, so he backed her into the wall where he could keep her pinned and move out of range at the same time.

'I didn't have time to do any of those things Lily, I only found out about Connors half an hour before we were due to start! And_ don't _you start throwing those kinds of accusations at me.' He growled the words at her, his pleasure at seeing her momentarily forgotten as he felt the words she'd thrown at him twist and hurt, and his anger flared up to match hers. 'This had nothing to do with _arrogance_ – I needed to get this patrol done, so I did it myself; you know damn well you'd have done the same, and if I'd _dared _to call you on it you'd have reamed me for not trusting you! So tell me Lily, when does this trust become two-way?'

'This has nothing to do with trust! And you should count yourself lucky that accusations were _all_ I was throwing, because I'm telling you Potter, if I'd had something heavy to hand you would have got it straight in the face!' Lily squirmed as she tried to free herself from James' much stronger grip, but he was much too smart to give her any leeway at all; he daren't let her get a hand on her wand when she was in this frame of mind.

'It has everything to do with trust Lily! I made a decision, and you instantly questioned both my motives and my ability to make it!' As she re-doubled her efforts to escape, he pulled both her wrists into one large hand, pushed his body tight to hers and used his now free arm to lift her so her feet were slightly off the ground and she was crushed between his body and the wall, her hands pinned between them. 'And if you don't stop trying to hex me, I swear I will flatten you into this wall!'

'You made an idiotic decision!' Lily voice was a shrill screech in his ear by now. 'You gave that speech to the Prefects about working as a team and looking out for one another, then you go sauntering off on your own, not a care in the world, no thought for what could happen! What if something happened to you James, huh? What if you were hurt and none of us knew that something had happened? How long until someone found you?' He realised then that angry as her voice was, it had also begun to tremble slightly. Pulling back to look at her properly, he noticed that she wouldn't meet his gaze, and that if it weren't for the colour flushing her cheeks she'd be deathly pale. He felt his temper ease a little – it didn't dissipate exactly, it more stagnated enough to let him examine the situation a bit more rationally.

'I'm sorry if I worried you Lily.' His voice came out gentle and calm, and even he was surprised by how level it sounded, given that he could still feel the throb of the temper he was biting back in his throat. 'I honestly thought it was a reasonable risk to take; I wasn't being reckless. If I'd had more time I would have made different arrangements, but I did the best I could in the time I had. I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you.' The last statement had a little more bite than he was intending, and he thought he saw a flicker of a wince cross her features as she absorbed it – perhaps he didn't have quite such a sterling grip on his temper after all. He let Lily drop to the ground and stepped back, releasing her hands; one went immediately to her wand, but she didn't draw it from her pocket.

'I don't think patrolling on your own is taking a _reasonable_ risk James.' Lily spoke slowly and articulated each word carefully keeping her eyes trained on the ground, her knuckles white where they curled around her wand. They were both being cautious now, each aware of the damage they could do if they said or did something they'd regret. 'I think you're underestimating how much of a target you are.'

James reached out lifted her chin with his fingers. 'I know how some people in this school think of me Lily; I'm a blood traitor, and an unashamed one at that. I don't mean to treat the threat as insignificant, but I can't let it rule my life either; it's not possible to eliminate risk is it?'

'No, but you don't need to court it either.' Lily's eyes were fixed firmly on a point well past his ear, but he didn't need eye contact to read her, and the fear was breaking through.

'I'm not.' He leaned in and planted the gentlest kiss on her forehead, resting his hands on her shoulders. 'I promise you I'm not Lily. I know I'm patrolling on my own, but McGonagall _does _know, and Remus and Sirius were going to look for me if I was more than fifteen minutes late back. I did my best with the time I had Lily.' He kissed her temple, and stroked his hand through her hair as he felt her relax into him a little. For the first time since she'd caught up with him she looked him in the eye, and he saw worry and temper swirling together in the green orbs that were always so expressive of her mood.

'Don't do it again James. I'm asking you nicely, not to take so many risks.' Her voice was firm and steady, but it still held that trace of alarm that he wished he could erase entirely. He pulled her a little closer.

'How nicely were you planning on asking?' He lifted her hair up with one hand and pressed his lips to the skin just behind her ear.

'Don't push your luck James.' Lily spoke dryly. 'I'm not in the mood for your oddities right now.'

'Really?' His voice was muffled against her skin as he ran his lips down her neck to her collarbone and then back up to her ear. He could feel the resistance leave her shoulders as his hands began to gently rub at them, and his lips continued their path up and down, up and down.

'No more unnecessary risks.' Lily's voice sounded determined, but the strength of her temper had gone out of it. James' mouth curved up against her skin; he was pretty sure this was going to go the way he wanted it to now.

'I'm asking you to promise. For me.' Her voice sounded small now, and more than a little unsteady. He wished he could believe that it was shaky from pure lust, but he could recognise the very real coating of unease and concern that lay under her more carnal emotions. He winced as he thought of the upcoming full moon; he had already lied to her and taken what he was sure she'd consider a gratuitous risk twice this term, and he knew he'd be doing it again in a couple of days. He didn't want to lie to her; not telling her everything was one thing - and he was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with _that_ - but an outright falsehood just seemed unacceptable. And he wanted to give her what she wanted, what would make her happy, always. It was _hard_ to refuse her, especially when he was looking at her and touching her, and she wanted him to. He spoke in a low hum against the skin of her neck.

'How about...I promise to consider all potential courses of action very carefully before I select one, and I will do everything in my power to always reduce the risks involved as far as possible?' He nipped lightly at her jawbone as he finished his sentence.

'You sound like a lawyer.' Her voice was down to almost a gasp now as he continued to work his lips and tongue and teeth across her soft, sweet-smelling skin.

'My mother's a lawyer. You're not the first woman to try and negotiate my behaviour.' He lifted his head up until his face was level with hers and ran his hands up from her shoulders, over her neck until they cradled her face. 'But I'll promise now that you will be the last.'

He kissed her gently, and with all the tenderness he could possibly muster, warming her cold lips with his and breathing in her scent as her hands landed on his waist and ran up his back until they hooked over his shoulders and she stepped closer and then it felt like she'd surrounded him, all soft skin and red hair and heat. He poured all his wants and needs into her, all the aches she made him feel, in his heart and everywhere else and he felt her heartbeat speed up and match his in response as her body pressed closer and the sparks she always created in him flared and built. He pulled his lips away from her, because the pressure in his chest was too much now, and it was welling up inside him, and if he didn't say it he was going to burst.

'Lily. Lily, I lo...'

A crash from just around the corner cut his sentence off and he and Lily sprang apart as Filch's cat came racing round the corner, fur on end and spitting wildly, just barely avoiding a collision with his ankles.

Their wands were in their hands in an instant, and they moved together in the direction of the noise, their teamwork seamless and instinctive. Even in his frustrated and edgy state of mind James felt a brief tingle of pleasure at the ease with which he and Lily read each other's movements and gestures, the comfortable nature of their interactions even under stress.

Moments later they rounded a corner and found a scene of horror. Two girls in Hogwarts robes hung in midair in the centre of the corridor, suspended by their ankles and twisting gently; their bodies were stiff and unmoving, and their faces were frozen into expressions of unmistakable horror. Lying sprawled on the floor behind them was the seemingly unconscious body of Argus Filch and seared onto the nearest wall in horribly familiar writing were the words:

**THE WORLD OF MAGIC WILL BE CLEANSED**

Lily stepped forward and reached out to the nearest girl.

'Lily, don't touch them!'

James shouted in alarm, but too late. Lily's hand had no sooner touched the arm of one of the girls than there was an explosion of orange sparks and her body flew through the air to land limply alongside Filch's, and she lay still, just as unconscious as he was.

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The first thing Lily was aware of was the low murmur of voices nearby. She tried to open her eyes to see who was near, but she couldn't force them open no matter what she tried – she attempted to move her hand to physically peel them open, but the rest of her body remained as unresponsive as her eyelids. She tried to speak, but no sound came out. Giving up on her attempts to move or interact, she focused on the sounds she could hear, trying to make out words and separate out voices in her head.

'When will she wake up?' A girl's voice, high and soft. Alice.

'Pomfrey doesn't know.' A deep male voice, rough with exhaustion and edged with frustration but still warm and wonderful. James. 'It was a powerful curse, it'll take a while for the potions to counteract it, and apparently it varies depending on the physical and magical strength of the victim. Some people fight it off more easily than others.'

'Speaking of others...what about Filch? And the two girls?' This voice was not as deep as James', but was richer and more honeyed. Sirius.

'Filch is out cold still.' James again. 'He might be out for a while, he's not as strong as Lily. In any sense.' As he spoke, Lily became aware that she could now feel pressure on her hand as someone held it, and something stroking the back of it softly – she tried with all her might to squeeze the hand that was holding hers, but her fingers remained stubbornly still. 'And the two girls are unfrozen but sedated. Pomfrey doesn't want to wake them till Dumbledore gets back from the meeting at the Ministry.' James concluded his sentence and there was silence for a moment. Lily screamed inside her head, exhorting her muscles to move, to respond, to let someone know that she was awake and trapped inside her own mind.

There was a snort of derision from her left, and she felt a sudden stir of the air and smelled the scent of Sirius' aftershave waft over her. Hearing, sensitivity to touch and a sense of smell. Now if she could only regain sight, taste and control of her limbs they'd be onto a winner.

'_Special meeting_ I ask you. Load of Bicorn shit. What do they want Dumbledore to do differently exactly?' Sirius' voice dripped scorn.

'They just want it to _look_ like they are doing something, considering they are apparently incapable of standing up to the mad purebloods that are the actual problem.' Alice sounded disgusted.

'The Minister is feeling the pressure to get the situation under control. Things are starting to get out of hand and the Prophet is gleeful every time they get to publish another juicy, fear-mongering article. I take it you saw this morning's edition?' James weary voice was drained, as if he didn't have the energy for emotion any more.

'You mean the "Another Attack at Hogwarts" headline? With the accompanying "useless staff powerless to protect students" article?' Sirius sounded both indignant and appalled at the same time. 'I _particularly_ liked the sub-article about how the incredibly negligent Head Girl went and recklessly got herself cursed, and her flagrant disregard of how important it is to be responsible in her role.'

'How did they even get hold of it so quickly?' Alice's calm voice broke into Sirius' outburst. 'I mean, it happened _yesterday_. It hasn't even been officially confirmed by the Ministry yet.'

'Student I imagine.' James attempted to clear his throat of the gruffness, but his voice remained rough. 'You know how quickly something like that gets round the school, and someone who goes here is bound to have a relative who works there or something. If I didn't know she was about a million years old, I'd say Matilda Meeking was undercover as a student, she gets the damn gossip so quickly.'

Lily felt the fury at the mention of Matilda Meeking and her uncomplimentary words bubbling in her blood, fizzing through her brain, and for the first time since she'd regained consciousness she felt warmth in her body. She had to move, to get her body working. She needed to get back so James didn't have to deal with Head duties on his own, so that people didn't think she was incompetent and so that two of her best friends and her boyfriend weren't wasting their Saturday morning waiting around for her.

She concentrated on her eyes and willed them to open with all her might. For the first time in her life she could actually feel the effort that was involved in doing something that was so simple and instinctive that her body did it a thousand times a day without her realising.

'Lily?' James voice came, sharper and more alert than it had previously been.

'What?' Alice's voice had a touch of panic in it.

'Her eyelids fluttered.' James answered. There was a moment of silence, and then he let out an exasperated breath. 'Don't you two look at me like that, I'm not imagining it! I'm the one sat here staring at her!'

Lily gave up on her eyes and tried her voice again.

'James...' It was faint and it was hoarse and it barely sounded like her, but it was there.

'Lily?' Large, warm, calloused hands landed on either side of her face. 'Lily sweetheart?'

'James...' She managed to croak his name out again, slightly stronger this time.

'Madame Pomfrey!' James shouted for the nurse, and from the sound of it, Lily could tell that he had turned his head to yell over one shoulder. His hands never moved from her face. She renewed her focus on her eyelids, forcing them to respond, to open.

She felt them flutter, felt herself wince instinctively as they lifted open and the bright overhead lights pierced her eyes, then she was staring into deep hazel pools of concern, framed in glasses, and she was lost again, in a completely different and much more pleasant sense than before.

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**********A/N: Thanks for reading and please feel free to let me know what you think - review, PM, whatever you like. Feedback is amazing, and you guys are the sprinkles on my Christmas cookies.  
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**********Love and gingerbread to you all XX  
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	22. Chapter 22 - Lies

******A/N: I think this may be the longest gap between updates since I started writing. Sorry guys, Christmas, family etc. I have too little time in my life. Anyway, the next chapter is here.**

******I hope you guys enjoy it, but let me know either way!  
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Lily was awakened by the quiet sound of a quill scratching across parchment. She could feel the warmth of firelight filling the room and the softness of pillows and mattress beneath her and she was almost too comfortable to move, but she was intrigued by the sounds of scribbling coming from across the room. She opened her eyes and sat up, hazily trying to focus on the figure sat on the floor of her room near the fire, one hand fisted in his mop of curling brown hair, the other working a quill across a chart, pausing only to dip into the inkwell set beside him.

'James?'

His head came up sharply, the scowl of frustration sliding off his face as he turned to look at her, his expression lighting up as he registered her altered position and focused gaze.

'You're awake. Actually upright and awake.' He began to stand to move over to her but she had already slid from the mattress onto her slightly shaky legs, wrapping a shawl from the bed round her shoulders as she went, and begun to make her way unsteadily towards his spot by the fire. She gracelessly slumped down alongside him, leaning into his side and he happily abandoned his quill and chart in favour of wrapping his arms around her. She turned her face into him, inhaling his heat-edged scent and feeling the warmth of his skin through his clothes. His abdomen rose and fell with steady breaths, and she allowed her head to move with the flow of his breathing as it rested against his chest, and his arms held firm around her, enclosing her in his protection and comfort.

'How did I get here?' she mumbled the question into his shirt, her fingers twirling patterns into the material under her hands.

'Here?' He planted a tired kiss on her temple, since it was the only bit of bare skin within easy reach, and her skin was just plain irresistible, with its light dusting of very faint freckles and its natural vanilla-tinged perfume that always fogged up his thought processes.

'Here, as in my own room rather than the hospital wing. I was released while unconscious? Pomfrey usually has more tenacity than that.' Lily's voice was still hoarse, but was significantly stronger and more even than it had been; she sounded like herself again, and he was profoundly grateful for that because nothing about this weekend had been scarier than how weak she'd sounded when she'd called out for him from her hospital bed.

'I had to make a number of promises, some of which I even intend to keep.' He freed one arm from her body and slid two fingers under her chin tipping her face back to look at her. He touched his lips to hers lightly, no pressure applied, just a light tickling sensation that sent her already vague thoughts tumbling. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, but he pulled back immediately, one hand still caressing her back gently. 'I thought you'd sleep easier here, and you didn't need _medical _attention anymore, just rest. Even Pomfrey admitted that. I got Dumbledore to spring you.'

'Oh. Well, thanks. I feel pretty well rested. How long did I sleep?'

'Altogether?' James released her from his arms, turned his head to glance at the clock on the wall and furrowed his brow in quick calculation. '38 hours or thereabouts. It's four in the afternoon on Sunday.'

'Wow.' Lily was silent for a moment as she absorbed the fact that she'd lost an entire weekend more or less. 'I mean, I remember everything up until I touched the girl, then I remember waking up for a while in the hospital wing, and then nothing till now.'

'Nothing to remember. You were out of it.' James clasped his hands together and stretched his arms out above his head, and Lily had a quick flashback to the summer and the library at Potter Manor; when he'd sat and kept an eye on her as she slept because he'd found her passed out on the sofa, and when she'd woken he'd been sat by the fire and he'd done that exact same stretch as he stood up. Only now she didn't have to imagine what was under his shirt, she knew exactly what he looked like without it, exactly how his skin felt…Shaking off the diverting thoughts, she reminded herself that she hadn't been the only one hurt this weekend.

'Are the girls okay? And Filch?' She whispered the words quietly, and he stiffened slightly and turned serious eyes on her; they searched her face, analysing her reactions as he responded.

'They're fine. Well, the girls are as fine as they can be. And guess what; a familiar pattern emerges – they were obliviated. Can't remember a thing between leaving the library and being revived by Pomfrey.' James' face was set and grim, his frustration at being unable to act obvious in his expression. 'Filch is still recovering, he's not as strong as any of the rest of you but he's going to be fine. He's going to have conniptions when he wakes up properly and realises that no-one has been given a detention for "defiling the castle" all weekend.'

He reached a hand out and played with a stray lock of her hair, and as soon as his hand made contact with her red tresses his expression softened as he looked at her, his hazel eyes losing that edge they held and focusing solely on her, like everything else became unimportant, just for that moment.

'Scared me Lil.' His eyes were sombre, and for the first time she noticed the slight dark rings of tiredness around them, the edge of fatigue that was etched onto his features. She reached a hand up to touch his cheek and felt the scratch of two days' worth of stubble under her fingers. She brought her other hand up until she was cupping his face, her thumbs stroking over his cheekbones, and then she pulled his mouth down to hers and met his lips with her own, commanding a reaction from his body without the interference of his brain as his lips moved with hers in perfect synchronicity.

They clung to each other in their spot in front of the fire, lips meeting again and again, breath mingling as their bodies pushed closer together and Lily scooted herself into his lap, legs twining round his waist as her shawl fell away from her frame, the straps of the pyjama top she was wearing underneath leaving the skin of her shoulders exposed. The warmth of the fire flickered over their skin as James' hand tangled in her hair and he held her face close to his, and his other hand pressed firmly onto her back, absorbing the sensation of her, solid and warm under his touch, feeling her fingers gentle and soft on the skin of his face. He pulled himself back from her and stroked her hair out of her face with the coarsened tips of his fingers.

'You're supposed to be resting.' His voice was rough, and she felt a brief, exciting thrill that she was able to unsettle him so badly, because it would have been incredibly unfair if she was the only one who felt this disconcerted by their reactions to each other.

'From what you say, I've done nothing _but_ rest for most of the weekend.' But she decided to be a good girl, so she removed her legs from their provocative position around his torso with a certain amount of regret, turned in his lap so she was facing away from him and leant back into his chest. She gestured to the parchment spread on the rug alongside them. 'What were you working on?'

'Patrol rota. Needed a little tweaking.' He was tracing patterns on her bare neck and shoulders with his fingertips, so it took her a minute to fully register what he had said, since he was being so distracting.

She sat up straight and twisted her body to look at him over her shoulder, batting his hands away as she turned. 'You aren't supposed to be doing patrol rotas James, that's my job! Remember? You use your freakishly mathematically inclined brain to do the points calculations and I take the rotas. That was the deal.'

'I know Lil, but it needed doing and I didn't know how long you were going to be…unavailable… for. Besides, I was just going to sit in here with you anyway, so I may as well be productive right?' James gave her a crooked grin and some more of the tiredness seemed to lift from his eyes as the smile made them sparkle.

'Let's see what you did then.' Lily pulled the paper towards her and examined it. James rested his chin on her shoulder and held his breath, praying that she wouldn't notice the only thing on there he desperately didn't want to explain.

'Who's Victoria?' She craned her neck and raised an eyebrow at him. 'Been appointing prefects in my short absence?'

'Er, no. She's the seventh year Slytherin. Greengrass?'

Lily snorted. 'That would be _Valentina_ Greengrass. Maybe you _should _do the rotas more – at least you'd know the prefects names.'

'I know she's a vicious harpy whose bony face bears more than a passing resemblance to a thestral's, why would I need to know her name?' James gave her a cherubic smile and she rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.

'Remus is off patrols for the full moon I see.' She smiled at him and he gave her a wink.

'Going to point out my nepotism now?'

'I can hardly complain when it's exactly what I would have done myself.' She turned her head back and continued to examine the page, and he felt his heart rate speed up in dread when she twisted round in his lap to face him, a small frown creasing her features. 'Why have you changed it so _you_ are off for the full moon? That's supposed to be _our_ patrol night.' She looked up at him.

'I, uh, try to keep Remus company for a bit, you know, make him feel better. We all do, the Marauders. I didn't think it would matter. I was off for it the last two months so it didn't come up.'

'But you weren't scheduled to patrol on those days so it really didn't matter, but with Connors unavailable we can't really spare you. You can't stay with him once the moon's up so why would you need to skip out on a night-time patrol?' Lily looked questioningly at James, and his heart sank. He wanted so much to be able to tell her the truth; she already knew half of it, but the rest wasn't just his to share. Realising that she was still looking at him, her face open and questioning he searched desperately for something that would make this okay, that would just delay this entire conversation for a while so he could work out how to tell her. Picking his words as carefully as he knew how, he reached out for her hand and held it tightly, willing her to understand him, and he spoke slowly as his pulse sprinted and his mind raced through the possible outcomes of this conversation, very few of which were appealing to him.

'Lily, would you…would you just accept it if I said that I _need_ to be off that night, and I promise to explain to you soon? I just…I can't right now.'

Lily looked into his eyes, and there was a hint of a plea in the hazel depths of them. She let the words he'd spoken settle for a moment, let them stew and simmer in her stomach for a minute as she considered how she felt about them, how to respond. She tried incredibly hard to be rational, but she felt the hurt churning low in her belly as the reality that he wouldn't trust her with whatever this was hit her full in the chest, crushing the breath out of her, squeezing her heart.

'Fine.' Her voice was level, but there was a dangerous slice to it that somehow set James' nerves on edge and his hands shaking. She pulled her hand out of his grip and stood up, leaving him sat alone and bemused as she headed back for her bed. 'Just leave the rota as it suits you.'

She slid into her bed and began to arrange the covers around her. He stood up and began to move towards her, his heart banging so hard it felt like it would imprint into his ribcage as his brain began to realise the gravity of the situation he found himself in, and he searched for words, any words that would make this okay again, make her look at him again.

'If you don't mind, I'm going to follow your advice and get some more rest.' Lily finished her organisation of her bedding, lay down and turned her back to him. The dismissal felt as bad as if she'd slapped him in the face; it had been a long time since she'd addressed him in a tone that cold. He could handle the arguments; they both had fiery tempers, and to be fair their fights more or less always ended the same way, just as it had on Friday night. But this…he wasn't sure he could handle this. He'd waited too long for Lily Evans to lose her; it would only be so much worse now he knew what she tasted of, how warm her skin felt, how soft her hair was when you ran your fingers through it. He couldn't face going back to pining.

'Lil.' He approached the bed cautiously, his heart in his throat as he frantically tried to think of a way out of this.

'I'll see you tomorrow in Charms.' She didn't move so much as a muscle, and the coldness practically radiated off of her. He froze for a moment and thought through possible courses of action but then, recognising that she was in no mood to talk to him and seeing no other option, he turned and left the room silently. When she heard the door click shut behind him, she let go of the silent tears, let them pour out of her in a torrent of hurt and confusion, and she cried until she soaked her pillow and exhausted herself into the oblivion of sleep.

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James placed one foot in front of the other as he climbed the stairs to Gryffindor Tower, and even that took all the effort he could muster. He spoke the password in an unthinking daze, crossed the common room without acknowledging anyone, even though several people called out to him, and was halfway up the stairs to the boy's dorms before he'd even realised that was where he was headed.

He pushed open the door to the room he'd spent the last six years sharing with his best mates and wandered vaguely in. It looked the same as always, except that his old bed now appeared to be a dumping ground for Sirius' overflow of rubbish. Remus was sat on his bed organising stacks of parchment, occasionally throwing balls of wadded up paper at Peter, who was trying (unsuccessfully) to remove the shrieking charm that had been placed on the drapes round his bed. Sirius - who was after all the likely culprit - was lying on his bed, hands behind his head, smirking and blowing bubbles with his Droobles gum.

James stopped just inside the doorway for a moment, then raised his wand and cancelled the charm. Peter looked relieved, and Sirius sat bolt upright.

'Prongs! What the hell?' Sirius sounded outraged, but then he took in James' somewhat blank countenance and the slump in his shoulders. 'You all right mate?'

'No.' The word was flat, and completely devoid of any expression. He crossed the room, passing all three of them without a second glance and sank onto the window seat, staring out blankly at the early winter storm battering the walls of the castle.

The rest of the Marauders exchanged fleeting looks, and no discussion was necessary for them to decide that this one fell squarely into Remus' area of expertise. He put his parchments to one side and pushed his sandy hair out of his eyes.

'Prongs? Spill it, whatever it is we can handle it.'

James turned to face them, and for the first time they could see the broken look in his eyes. 'I'm pretty sure it's over between me and Lily. I don't even know if she's ever going to speak to me again.'

Sirius sucked in a sharp breath and sat back on his heels, his jaw hanging open slightly. Remus tried his best to hide his shocked look, then noticed that Peter had moved across the room to sit down on the edge of his bed and was staring at him and jerking his head in James' direction. Sighing, Remus recognised that this one was going to be solely down to him. Sending a withering look at the other two, he pulled himself across his bed and settled himself directly across from James.

'What happened?'

James had slumped back in the window seat and resumed his vacant stare out of the window.

'Short version - she noticed the changes I made to the full moon patrol rota and called me on it. I couldn't explain and now she won't speak to me. I hate lying to her. I know it's not really lying, it's just _not telling her things_, but it _feels _just as bad.' He leant his head back against the wall, turned his eyes to the ceiling and let out the breath he'd been holding in one long rush. 'She's so mad at me; I haven't seen her this furious in...I've _never _seen her this furious. She's always yelled at me before; I can handle yelling, I can deal with crying, at this point I'd take out-and-out violence or hexing. I cannot fucking handle silence! I can't fucking take this!' He punched his bunched fist into the wall and felt a searing pain in his knuckles that burned and shot up his arm, making his brain tingle with pain that was still somehow _less _than the hurt and desperation he had been trying to grapple with. He clenched his fist tighter, focusing on the renewed pain that felt like a reprieve.

'Prongs!' Remus' voice was sharp and admonitory, lashing out at him like a whip; the sheer shock of hearing that tone coming from his gentlest friend made him stop and stare at him. Remus pushed a shaky hand through his hair and glanced sideways at Sirius and Peter. It was evident from one look that no help was forthcoming there. 'You can fix this. Lily…she's not unreasonable Prongs.' Noting the look Sirius was giving him, he felt the need to add a quick qualifier. 'Most of the time.'

He turned his full attention back to James, whose head was resting in his hands now, his fingers digging into his skin, clutching at the roots of his hair.

'I mean, I'm no expert, but since they are people too, I'm pretty sure that no girl wants to feel like she's being lied to. Or blocked out. She wants you to trust her.'

'I do trust her!' James protested, his head coming up from his hands, a spark of his previous fire coming through, breaking out from his despair.

'_But she doesn't know that_.' Remus rested his elbows on his thighs and bent forward to bring his face level with his friends. 'She can't understand, and you think you can't make her because you can't tell her.' He hesitated for a moment, knowing that his next sentence could quite possibly start a fight of epic proportions. 'But maybe you could.'

James' hands froze their restless movements through his hair as he met Remus' eyes. He flicked his eyes to the two other boys, and noted Peter's disbelieving expression, but more surprisingly, Sirius' appraising one.

Remus turned to face the other two, looking for support. 'It's not like we don't know she can keep a secret right?'

James snorted, but there was a tinge of exhaustion to it. 'You have no idea how right you are.' Remus turned back to look at him enquiringly. James licked his lips and took a bolstering breath before he continued. 'She knows about you Moony. _I did not tell her._' He got the words out quickly and raised his hands, palms out in a calming gesture, cutting off any potential argument before it began. 'She told me over the summer at my place; she worked it out on her own. She put the dates together, and that business with Snape confirmed it for her.'

'She never said a word.' Remus whispered the words in disbelief. 'Never acted any differently…'

'Why would she?' Sirius cut in from behind them, making his way over to Remus' bed to sit next to him, shoving Peter off onto the floor. He shot a glare and a rude hand gesture at Sirius before giving James' shoulder a supportive pat and sitting on the floor alongside him. 'Evans isn't likely to be prejudiced is she? And she's probably a bit too nice for her own good; she'd never cut you loose for a reason like that.'

'She said she liked being your friend, and your personal issues were none of her business unless you chose to discuss them with her.' James' voice was tired and emotionless, as if all the energy had just been sucked out of him over the course of the conversation.

Peter didn't quite suppress a laugh. 'Sorry. I can just imagine her saying that. She really _is_ a bit too nice isn't she?'

Sirius reached out and clipped him around the back of the head, sending him a glare for good measure. Then he observed his best mate, the defeated posture, the air of hopelessness around him, and he sighed. Between them, Prongs and Lily Evans were going to turn him all mushy. Sirius Black was _not_ a sentimental man. If word spread about these little pep talks he seemed to be handing out like confetti these days, he was going to have to do some serious damage limitation on his reputation.

'Look Prongs' he started, pausing until he was sure he had James' full attention. 'This is all bloody stupid. You should tell her. I know you couldn't do that earlier because we hadn't all agreed, and you've got a streak of nobility a mile wide, but I think Evans deserves to know. She's kept a few secrets for us already.'

James looked disbelievingly at Sirius, then his eyes flicked to Remus, who shrugged. 'She knows about me, so I don't really think I get a say in this one since it's not my secret. But I'd vote to tell her. If I had to pick someone to trust outside of you lot, it'd be Lily Evans.'

'That's the spirit!' Sirius slapped Remus on the back approvingly then directed his attention at Peter. 'Wormy, you're already outvoted, but feel free to offer an opinion.'

'What the hell Sirius?' James demanded. His best mate's behaviour was inexplicably odd; he was usually the one shouting about the need for secrecy and Marauder solidarity.

'If you lot ever repeat what I'm about to say, I'll hex you straight to the hospital wing.' Sirius threatened, staring at each of them with a stony glower then he sighed and looked James directly in the eye. 'Look mate. She means a lot to you, I'm not so dumb I can't see that. And I can't pretend to understand either of you, with your bloody _feelings_ and your _ridiculously_ complicated relationship, but you couldn't expect to keep this under wraps forever if you were planning on keeping her around for a long time, which I assume you were? At this point it's a matter of damage limitation and priorities.' Sirius paused and took in the speechless expressions on the faces of all three of his friends. 'Oh fuck off the lot of you. What I'm saying is, maybe Prongs needs to put Lily – and himself – first for once, instead of us.'

There was silence for a moment. Remus and James were too dumbfounded to speak, and surprisingly it was Peter who found his voice first. He poked James in the knee to get his attention. 'Much as it pains me to say it, Pads is right for once. You've had a fight with Lily because you were putting your loyalties to us first, and it's not fair for us to ask you to do that. I mean, Lily's not just some bird is she?' Peter waved his arms around to emphasise his point, and James narrowed his eyes at his friend, but kept his focus on him as he continued speaking. 'You've never considered telling anyone before because you've never wanted to. Makes me think that you've never liked someone this much before. We'd be pretty lousy friends if we were gits about this wouldn't we?'

'You lot are serious?' James found his voice at last. 'You are okay with me spilling everything to Lily? I mean…everything?'

Sirius grinned. 'Marauders live on the edge. I guess we could always obliviate her if she takes it badly.' Then he leaned back across Remus' bed and folded his hands behind his head again, his grin widening as he stared at the drapes and a thought occurred to him. What James needed at this point was a little bit of good, old-fashioned provocation. 'And who knows, if it goes well, it might even get you into her knickers. I mean, it's right impressive stuff isn't it?'

There was a moment's silence while Remus and Peter watched James' face apprehensively, waiting for his reaction. The spark that had been missing from his eyes lit them up as he launched himself at his best mate, and a mock fight started, which eventually resulted in all of Remus' bedding hitting the floor, and the werewolf yelling at them at the top of his voice while Peter rolled on the floor in hysterics.

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It took James until late Monday night to corner Lily. She was long gone by the time he'd gotten out of bed that morning – something he was pretty sure she'd done on purpose, since neither of them was inclined to be an early riser – and she'd avoided him in classes and at meals all day. Thinking about it now, that may have been a good thing; he needed privacy for this discussion, something he absolutely would not have got if he'd tried to broach the subject at any of those times. So, it was with a curious mixture of relief and fear churning his belly that he entered their private common room, knowing - courtesy of the map he held in one hand - that she was alone, and that the Marauders would be making sure it stayed that way.

He walked straight through their empty common room and up the stairs to their shared landing. He stopped outside her door and tried to calm his shaking nerves and get everything he needed to say straight in his head. He raised his knuckles and rapped on her door. Under normal circumstances he would have just pushed the door open and gone in, but he didn't think she'd be amenable to that at the moment. He gave it a moment, then knocked again.

When she didn't respond to his second knock, he sighed and called her name instead.

'Lily?'

Nothing. If he didn't know for certain she was in there, he would have assumed she was out.

'Lily can I please come in? I want to explain, and I can't really do that through a closed door.'

Still nothing. James pulled his free hand through his hair and searched for the strength to do this. When had his confidence abandoned him? If you'd asked him a matter of days ago, he'd have said that he couldn't imagine any woman could ever _hate_ him; he was just that good with them. Now, he wasn't so sure; if any girl could hold that kind of grudge against him it would be Lily, coincidentally the only one who mattered. Gathering his resolve, he put the palm of his hand flat on the door, and closed his eyes.

'Lily, I'm asking you to give me one chance to explain and then you can tell me to get out, or to never darken your door again, or whatever. I just want you to know the truth before you make any decisions. Please.'

He held his breath, waiting for a response, something, anything. The door handle moved slightly and he lifted his hand from the surface of the wood. The door swung open and he stepped through it in time to see Lily walking back towards her bed, her back resolutely turned to him. She sat cross-legged on her bedspread, her hands clasped in her lap, her eyes glued to the spot of floor just in front of her.

James walked carefully across the room and stood directly in her line of sight. What would be her line of sight _if she would just look up_.

'Lily. I'm going to explain everything. I swear. But first, I want to say that I'm sorry.'

Lily's head came up and she looked him in the eye for the first time. He noticed the little bit of redness in her eyes, the slight puffiness to her face that spoke volumes about how much he'd hurt her, and he felt a stab of regret about how badly he'd handled this, how much he'd screwed up. Why hadn't he given this any consideration before? Why hadn't he realised that he was going to have to tell her sooner or later and just spilled it all when she asked? Because he was a prize idiot, that's why.

He realised that he'd been stood silently for a moment while he mentally berated himself for his stupidity and that she was still looking directly at him for the first time in twenty-four hours. The words began to spill out in a rush.

'I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I'm sorry for making you think that I don't trust you, or that you don't mean _everything_ to me. But I couldn't give away secrets that involve my friends without asking them.' He sucked in a deep breath, hoping he wasn't going a step too far. 'And I don't think I'd be the sort of person you could have feelings for if I could just betray their trust for my own sake.'

Lily's eyes softened, and he saw that flicker of empathy that was so familiar now swirl in them just for a moment. She straightened up her shoulders and the harsh defensiveness had left her face, to be replaced by an expression that was carefully neutral.

'Okay James.' Her voice was quiet, and a little shaky, but there was still iron in it, though she spoke a little slowly. 'You may have a point about that.' He felt a little bit of optimism creep into his mood, but he kept his mouth shut and waited for her to finish. 'You're sorry you didn't tell me before. So tell me now. And we'll…take it from there.' She kept her eyes locked on his. 'No more secrets. Not between us.'

James nodded slowly, trying to stay calm and collected, ignoring the hammering of his heart. Dear Merlin, let her be okay with what he was about to say. He took a deep breath and started to speak.

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**********A/N: I almost didn't want to post this yet, because I don't want to leave you guys hanging, but the next chapter won't be too long coming, and it will be complete Jily wonderfulness, and everything will be alright.  
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**********On an unrelated note, this chapter gave me some severe writer's block - you know how sometimes it just doesn't seem to want to come out? - so I played around with a potential cast list for this story. Bear in mind that none of these people are really the right age group or anything, I was just trying to find a visual stimulus to help me out. This is just how I imagine them looking when I write. It helps sometimes.  
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**********James - James Marsden  
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**********Lily - Emma Stone  
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**********Sirius - Kit Harrington  
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**********Marlene - Dianna Agron  
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**********I only really looked into these four, but I might spend sometime on the others soon. Let me know what you think, or if there's anyone you particularly imagine as any of the characters.  
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	23. Chapter 23 - Realisations

******A/N: Umm, sorry? I have no real excuse for the late update other than the fact that I've been incredibly busy, and writing the first section of this chapter was like pulling teeth. I'm still not sure I'm happy with it. I really hope I'm past the writer's block now, since the later parts were _much_ easier. Maybe I just don't like writing Jily when they're fighting. **

******Anyway, I hope you'll forgive me for my tardiness with this update when I tell you that this chapter is a thousand words or so longer than it's meant to be; the last section was supposed to be part of next chapter, but it just felt too mean to leave it where I originally intended. I haven't had time to do a full edit, so errors are likely - feel free to point out any if you catch them, and I hope you guys enjoy it anyway.  
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******I wrote most of this chapter while listening to two songs by The Cranberries - 'Liar' & 'Linger'. Both worth a listen if you get a chance.  
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'I'm not sure where to start really.' James let out a slightly nervous laugh and he looked swiftly to Lily for encouragement to continue. She gave him none, keeping her face carefully neutral, her eyes as expressionless as possible. She didn't want to give him reassurance, she didn't want to give any feelings away; she wanted to make sure he wasn't just going to tell her what he thought she wanted to hear, she wanted him to express himself with no input from her to tell him whether he was saying the right thing or not.

She watched him take a visibly deep breath and then he squared his shoulders and turned slightly on the spot until he was directly opposite her, facing her head on. He dug his hands into his jeans pockets and stood unbending, feet slightly apart. Unfortunately for her, this particular stance made the flashes of attraction that he always sparked up in her flare a little stronger; just a little sparkle of longing that made her want to forget the disagreement and throw herself bodily at him, for no other reason than to feel the warmth of his solid muscles enclosing her, hiding her away from the world for just a little while.

'I'm trying to decide whether I should start with a couple of smaller things and build up, or whether I should just blurt the worst of it straight out.'

He spoke suddenly, as if the words had just fallen out before he could edit or stop them. She didn't think she'd ever heard him sound more nervous – it was disconcerting. James usually radiated self-assurance, even when he had no real right to be cocky. She reminded herself of her resolve not to give him any help with this and, quashing those little pulls of desire that wouldn't stop churning in her chest, she simply raised her eyebrows questioningly to indicate that she was listening but had no intention of offering participation. He took the hint and began again, directing his gaze just past her right ear as he maintained his rigid posture.

'You know about Remus, and that's pretty much where this starts. I'm not sure how long you've known, but it won't be as long as I have. We – that is Sirius, Peter and I – found out second year. When you share a dorm with a bloke it's easy to notice these things; we confronted him and he admitted everything. He was terrified we were going to hate him and ignore him or expose him to the rest of the school or something.'

Lily felt the familiar flicker of sympathy for Remus' plight, and she knew James saw it in her eyes when his darted to her face, as he continued with a renewed assurance in his words.

'Obviously we didn't do any of those things; Remus being a werewolf didn't make him less of a friend. I _know_ you can sympathise with that.'

He looked straight into her eyes as he spoke, his hazel ones bright with sentiment, and Lily felt a faint surge of pride in his loyalty and lack of prejudice. It was one of the very best things about James, his unswerving tendency to judge people as individual cases, ignoring wealth or connections or blood. It was hard to know that it was exactly that loyalty and unwavering dedication to those he cared for that had led them here to this fight; his desire to be honest with her warring with his need to keep faith with his friends. She felt the beginnings of a little guilt stirring under the irritation and anguish that had kept her mind reeling over the last day; guilt for pushing him when she didn't really need to – she was confident now that he would have kept his promise to tell her eventually.

'He seemed to feel that we were doing enough for him just by keeping quiet and not giving up on our friendship. Remus is like that – grateful for things that he ought to be able to take for granted. As I'm sure you're well aware.'

She nodded unthinkingly, then became annoyed with herself when she realised that she had been drawn into a response by what he was saying. She wasn't supposed to be giving him anything, no matter how much she wanted to. And oh Merlin, she bloody wanted to. Nonetheless, he seemed to become more resolved every time she slipped and offered up a reaction to his words.

'Still, while it may have been enough for him, it wasn't enough for us. He began to tell us more, about how it felt, about the damage he did to himself each full moon. And I mean, we saw it too – the bruises, the cuts. If you could see how many scars…' He paused for just a second, frowned and shook his head before continuing. She was sure he was trying to clear his mind of the distraction, and her heart ached for him that it hurt him so much to see a friend in pain. 'We wanted to do something, wanted him to not feel so alone, but we knew the thing that would really help would be to stay with him during his transformations – and you can appreciate why we couldn't do that.'

He offered a weak smile, the first time his face had been anything less than deadly serious since he had entered her room. She felt her expression alter almost of its own accord into one of scepticism and he let out the smallest of laughs in response to the change in her countenance.

'Even we knew there had to be _some_ boundaries. We just figured, if you can't cross it, go around it you know?'

She felt the corner of her lips twitch. It was hard to be angry with James at the best of times, but when he was standing there, looking so adorably nervous, so agitated about what she would say in response it was borderline impossible. He was there in front of her, asking for her forgiveness, and while she had been determined that she wouldn't cave without good reason, to her mind there was no better defence than dedication to friends.

'So, in the end it was Sirius who came up with a solution. He's an idiot, but he has this amazingly backwards way of looking at things sometimes that means he can come up with ideas that would never occur to anyone else. And what he realised is that a werewolf is a danger to _people_. So if we wanted to stay with Moony, we had to figure out how…_not _to be human for a while.'

Lily's brain stopped processing thought. Her head filled with buzzing as her addled wits frantically tried to process the meaning behind James' words, desperately hoping that she had been completely mistaken in the conclusion that she had drawn. She looked at him blankly, and he returned her slightly panicked gaze with a confused one.

'Please…explain what you mean. Because I _just know_ you aren't saying what I think you're saying.' The words came out sounding a bit less stern and a bit more unsteady than she'd intended.

'Lily.' James moved from the spot he'd been more or less frozen to since he started speaking and knelt down in front of her, enclosing her still-clasped, cold hands in his larger ones. 'I'm trying to tell you that I spent three years learning how to be an animagus so that I could keep my werewolf friend company during full moons. Which is why I can't patrol with you on Thursday.'

Lily closed her eyes. Okay, so he was insane. Officially off his rocker. An illegal animagus. That's what he hadn't wanted to tell her, to admit to. And his friends…

'Sirius and Peter too?' The question was barely more than a whisper and even she could hear the weakness in her own voice.

'Yeah.' James' voice came back, a low, husky whisper. 'All three of us. For Moony.'

She didn't answer but squeezed her hands tighter together, her nails digging into her skin as she tried to absorb the impossibility that he had presented to her. It _should_ have been an impossibility. For anyone else it would have been. What _was it_ with these boys? James' hands tightened over hers, and she felt the warmth of his skin pressing into hers, the wordless concern radiating off him.

'The nicknames.' He spoke unexpectedly. 'I never asked you before if you realised we called him Moony because he's a werewolf. But the rest of us, our nicknames refer to our other forms too. Padfoot because Sirius is a large dog and Peter – Wormtail – is a rat.'

Lily opened her eyes and found James' face directly in front of hers, watching her carefully. 'And you're Prongs. Show me why you're called Prongs.'

'Really?' James sounded uncertain. 'You…you want me to show you?'

'Yes.' Lily was sure her voice was the steadiest it had been all day. It was as if she could deal with the worst now she knew, as if she could handle absolutely anything as long as James trusted her with the truth; it didn't really matter what he'd done, as long as he was honest with her, as long as he wasn't hiding anything from her. She'd forgiven everything else, what was one more transgression, regardless of magnitude, as long as he asked for her understanding?

He let go of her hand and moved away from her to the open space in front of her fire; the open space he'd been sprawled in yesterday as he waited for her to wake up, as he sat watching over her for hours. She hadn't forgotten. He paused and looked at her for a moment then he blurred and _changed_.

In place of the tall, messy-haired boy was a large brown stag, head crowned with an enormous set of antlers. Lily's heart rose into her throat; a little part of her hadn't really believed him and now she was presented with incontrovertible proof. She rose slowly and began to move carefully towards him, laughing at herself when she realised that she didn't have to be so cautious. It might be a stag_ shape_ she was approaching, but it was still James, and James wouldn't run from her under any circumstances; he'd always been brave enough to face whatever was coming.

She stretched out one hand and touched the antlers; James didn't move a muscle.

'Prongs.' She whispered the word. 'Prongs… because of your antlers. I should have guessed…your patronus…'

She removed her hand slowly from his antlers and touched the very tips of her fingers to the soft brown fur on his neck. He took one slow step towards her and their eyes locked. James' eyes – a dark hazel with the faintest hint of green – looked at her from the face of the animal in front of her.

'Change back.' Her voice stayed just as quiet as it had been before, but there was a new strength and forcefulness to it that reflected the feelings bubbling up inside her like a dam had been broken somewhere in her heart.

The stag blurred and then it was James standing in front of her, her hand still outstretched towards him; he reached for it and pressed her palm against his chest directly over his heartbeat.

'I never meant to hurt you by keeping it from you, please believe that. It's just been a secret for so long it wasn't natural to tell it; and I would have told you the second you asked if it had only been me, but I couldn't be disloyal to them…'

James voice was cut off as the wind was knocked out of him by Lily hurling herself wholeheartedly at him. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the curve where his collarbone met his shoulder, breathing him in and revelling in the feeling of his body touching hers again. His body responded automatically to her presence in his arms before his brain even had time to process its meaning; his arms pulled her in tighter, clasping her close against him, the scent of her hair filling his nostrils and making his throat tighten. His breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips to her hair, silently thanking every God, lucky charm and anything else he could think of for this reprieve. His hands ran circles on her back, pressing down slightly as if searching for reassurance that she was really there, really holding on to him again. The grip of her arms round his neck never wavered, her fingers hanging onto him as if he were the answer to every question she'd ever had, and he could feel her shuddering breaths against the skin of his neck and shoulder.

They stayed like that for a long time, and if pressed neither of them could have said how long. They could hear the sound of each other's breathing as both of them calmed down, and their heartbeats slowed to a steady, relaxed pulse.

'That's not all of it.' James voice came out in a quiet whisper, and for the first time that evening it sounded completely calm; back to his usual assured tones, albeit with a little bit of extra huskiness to it. He lifted his head away from her hair and lent back slightly to try to catch a glimpse of her face where it rested against his shirt. 'There's more I have to tell you, that I _should _have told you, but that's the biggest, most important…'

He was silenced by the fingers of Lily's right hand as she shuffled back a marginal distance and pressed them to his lips.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered the words. It felt like they were speaking every word now as if it were a secret between them, and to speak too loudly would be profane in some way. There was less than an inch of space between their bodies, and even that distance felt like too much. 'I'm sorry I couldn't just give you the time you asked for, that I pushed you into a choice between me and your friends. I didn't realise…I should have known you had a good reason for holding something back, should have trusted you…'

Her fingers left his mouth and her hands planted themselves flat against his chest, her body pushing up against him as she took a step closer and pressed into him. 'I'm sorry James.'

His hands tightened slightly on her back as he drew her in close to him and then one ran up her spine to twist itself into her hair. They were silent for a moment as they stood together, wrapped up in each other then, as if by unspoken agreement, they stepped apart and their hands automatically reached for each other and clasped together.

'So.' James looked at her for guidance, one eyebrow cocked, that slightly lopsided smile returning to his face.

'So.' Lily answered, feeling her own grin grow in response. 'Why don't you tell me the rest of your secrets Potter? I'll try not to yell too much.'

His face betrayed his amusement, but the glimmer of anxiety in her eyes concerned him. He squeezed her hands tightly as he responded.

'I'll tell you everything Lil. I'll always tell you everything. You can take that as a promise.'

'Good.' She bit her lip nervously, her eyes anxiously finding his. 'Then I guess I should do the same. There are a few things I haven't told you… about Snape. And you _should _know. You need to know.'

James lowered his forehead to hers. 'Then tell me.'

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The first Gryffindor Quidditch match of the year – against Hufflepuff - was to be played on the 12th December; it was significantly later than usual, having been delayed repeatedly by the strange occurrences on and around the school grounds. It was a cold, clear morning and it seemed the majority of students had decided to attend the match because the stands were packed. There was a lot of curiosity about the new team James had put together, and not all of it was from their Hufflepuff opponents; both Ravenclaw and Slytherin were interested in seeing what they'd be up against later in the school year, and the Gryffindors were just hoping that James could pull off his usual brand of miracle. They'd become rather accustomed to winning Quidditch matches (not to mention Cups) since he'd joined the team, and they had no wish to stop now, if only because the celebrations afterwards were so much fun and it upset the Slytherins so much.

Sirius was sat on a bench in the locker room, staring in disbelief as James waved his arms, shouted, pointed, and waved wildly at diagrams pinned to the walls. His words bounced off the team, each of them becoming more and more discomfited by the erratic behaviour of their captain; when James began to drill them on the specifics of the Togglegrout Manoeuvre for the third time, Sirius took action.

'Prongs! Oi, Captain Idiot!' He threw a practice quaffle at James' head, but he caught it with the natural reflexes of the chaser and glowered at Sirius.

'What?' He snapped at his best mate. 'You had something to add, Lieutenant Prat?'

'Yeah, I do actually.' Sirius glowered right back. 'We _know_ this stuff mate. We've practised it, and discussed it and I could recite it _in my sleep_. So stop yelling at us you bloody git, and we can get out there and flatten Hufflepuff.'

Marlene was trying to hide her giggles behind her hand and Frank was openly grinning, but the three new members of the team were wide-eyed and speechless at the bad-tempered row unfolding in front of their eyes. James and Sirius continued to glare at each other for a long moment until the corner of James' lip started to twitch upwards. Then he launched himself at his black-haired friend and wrestled him to the floor. Wilson Wood, the new keeper and Kenneth Todd, Sirius' fellow beater, leapt forward to intervene until they realised that Marlene was now rocking with laughter and Frank was whistling loudly every time a particularly good blow was landed. The two of them backed off and joined the rest of their teammates on the locker room benches.

A minute or so later, James and Sirius had collapsed separately on the floor, each of them laughing too hard to continue their fight. James pulled himself to a sitting position and grinned widely at the slightly shocked faces of his new team members and the amused faces of the others.

'Sorry guys.' He addressed his three new teammates, recognising that no explanation was necessary for Marlene or Frank. 'I get a bit stressed on match days and I have been known to overplay my point a little from time to time.' Sirius snorted from the floor behind him and James punched him in the thigh without looking away from the rest of his team. 'Luckily, Sirius is an expert at defusing the tension by now, although his techniques are a little…er interesting.'

James climbed to his feet, his smile wide and his posture relaxed.

'He's right though guys. We _know_ this stuff, we've practised hard, and on our worst day we're far, far better than any other team at this school. Hard part's done.' He grabbed his broom from the bench and picked up his Captain's armband. He shot a cocky smile at the rest of his team. 'This bit is the _fun _part. You guys ready?'

His team stood up, their Captain's infectious confidence communicating itself to them and giving them a much needed boost. They grabbed their brooms and he hustled them out of the locker room, pausing only briefly to grab his scarf on the way out and slamming the door behind him.

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The team's names were called out by the announcer - Phillip Gordon from Ravenclaw - and one by one they flew out to make lazy circles around the ground, taking a few moments to acclimatise themselves to the sound and feel of match day.

Alice, Remus and Peter were sat in the stands, along with Mary and Emma, all eagerly awaiting the start of the match and cheering loudly. Lily had been with them up until a few moments before, when she had been forced to remove two second years that were practising confundus charms by aiming them at Hufflepuff first years in the opposite stand; she was marching them to Professor McGonagall at high speed, hoping to make it back before the match started.

She was halfway back when she heard James' name being announced; she cursed under her breath and increased her pace, pounding up the stairs towards the top of the stands, trying to make it back before the game actually started.

James completed one sweeping circuit of the pitch before slowing down to look at the Gryffindor stands, his eyes seeking out the people who mattered. He located Remus quickly and saw the others with him at the very front of one of the stands and he began to head towards them, trying not to make it completely obvious that he was looking for one particular person. He and Lily were still being _discreet_ about their relationship.

His heart sank a little when he couldn't locate her; there was no head of flaming red hair anywhere near where Remus was sitting, and since the majority of their friends were sat with him it was unlikely she was sat elsewhere. Still, he flew another circuit, keeping one eye on the stands, tuning out the cheers, the whistles, the cat-calls, his eyes and mind focused on looking for a redhead with green eyes and pale skin. As he completed his loop and arrived back alongside the top stand where he had seen his friends, he turned to give them a grin, trying his best to mask his concern and disappointment at Lily's absence.

He couldn't even put into words the relief, the pure soaring happiness that pulsed through his veins when he saw her pushing her way to the front of the stand, flushed and out of breath from her dash up the stairs. He lost his head totally at that point and flew directly over to where she was standing next to Peter, giving no consideration to how his actions would appear to others, what speculation would arise as a result of them. He neither knew nor cared; he just followed an impulse that seemed irresistible. Consequences were for later.

Lily couldn't lie; she did begin to panic slightly at the sight of James flying towards them. She kept telling herself that he wasn't going to make a scene in front of all these people – they were both well aware that there had been a lot of intense speculation from the student body about their relationship recently, and while it wasn't as such a secret, they had been careful to do nothing in public that would confirm or deny any of the rumours. It wasn't that she was ashamed or embarrassed, she was simply a little shy and - more importantly - _more_ than a little unwilling to listen to other people offering her their opinions, or, God forbid, their advice. It had seemed easiest to be circumspect, and James, bless his easy-going temperament, had simply gone along with whatever made her happy as usual.

Still, whatever nerves were twisting around in her stomach settled and dissolved as soon as James was close enough for her to smell the scent of leather and broom polish and soap emanating from his skin. He paused in mid-air, hovering just in front of them and untwisted his scarf from his neck. He reached out and draped it around Lily, knotting it firmly at one shoulder. He kept hold of one end and used it to tug her slightly closer to him, though she noted to her relief that he kept a respectable distance between them. It was just lucky that only their friends were close enough to get a good look at the expression on his face and his blazing eyes.

'If you take that off' he murmured quietly 'I will personally ensure that you are disowned by the whole of Gryffindor house.' He let go of the scarf and patted it down so it lay neatly. 'It's my lucky scarf, so it seems appropriate that you take care of it for me.' He gave her a quick wink as he flew away, turning round to shout over his shoulder.

'I'll come back and get it when we've won!'

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The match had been going for almost two hours when it happened.

An hour and forty minutes in, and Gryffindor were 130 points up, their chasers were making mincemeat of the Hufflepuff defence and the search for the snitch was becoming increasingly desperate. Marlene was flying her usual search pattern and trying to focus on looking for that tell-tale glint of gold, but it was made increasingly difficult by the antics of the Hufflepuff seeker, a sixth year named Felicia Finchley who seemed to insist on getting as close to Marlene as possible, as often as possible.

James, Frank and their new chaser Gregory were flying almost lazily now, seamlessly working their way through play after play with Sirius and Kenneth defending them with utmost ease. Wilson circled his posts warily; he'd been largely untroubled during this match, but it still pleased James to see that he wasn't letting his guard down. He'd been right in the locker room – the match had been fairly easy for them. The hard work had been the hours of practice, the physical conditioning, the tireless run-throughs of play after play that they had put in during the run-up to the game itself. Preparation was key.

The score stood at 190-50 when Frank intercepted the quaffle from the Hufflepuff chasers and immediately spun around and dropped towards the ground, flying under the majority of players on the field and rising back up only when he was halfway towards the opposing goalposts. Gregory arrived alongside him, and they began to pass the quaffle back and forth as they ran yet another of their thoroughly rehearsed manoeuvres, diving and swooping around other players. Kenneth flew ahead of them, firing bludgers towards the Hufflepuff keeper in an attempt to force him away from the posts. James and Sirius hung back behind them, watching their backs and holding a line of defence for their own goal; the score was far enough in their favour for them to consider it reasonable to try some of their riskier tactics.

As Kenneth fired the quaffle towards the left hand goalpost there was a loud gasp from the crowd and the excited voice of the announcer reached new frequencies as he commentated on the battle that was taking place between the seekers; Marlene and Felicia were flying side-by-side in pursuit of the snitch, jostling for position as each tried to outmanoeuvre the other. The beaters from both teams joined the pursuit, each trying to defend their own seeker and distract the other with a well-aimed bludger.

The quaffle had sailed through the goal almost unopposed, taking the score to 200-50, and James took advantage of the general distraction to slam another goal in while he, Frank and Kenneth were opposed only by the Hufflepuff chasers and keeper. The quaffle soared through the goal hoop, and James spun around quickly to check the position of the rest of his team, just in time to see Marlene use her full body weight to swing her broom in front of Felicia's, effectively cutting her off and forcing her to swing wide. The few inches it gained her allowed Marlene's fist to close over the snitch, and the loud and excitable voice of Phillip Gordon announced a Gryffindor victory at 360 points to 50. James punched the air in celebration as the match time-clock stopped at one hour and fifty-six minutes of play.

Lily jumped up and down, pausing only to throw her arms around Alice's neck as they cheered their team at the tops of their voices. Their eyes had been trained largely on Marlene's epic struggle for the snitch, but as the game finished Lily found her eyes – unsurprisingly – being drawn back to James who was far higher above the ground than anybody else and who was cheering both the result and the rest of his team enthusiastically. As she watched him – while trying to pretend she wasn't watching him, obviously – her heart beat a little faster; then it felt like it had leapt into her throat as she heard a sickeningly loud crack and saw a flash of blue light come from James' broom, and then she watched, head swimming in shock as both James and his broom plummeted towards the ground in an uncontrolled downward spiral.

The screams of several other spectators rang in her ears, and it felt like the world had slowed down around her. Shaking herself into action, she pushed past Remus to the very front of the stand and aimed her wand at James – she felt like she was swimming through treacle; the world was in slow motion, and she knew, even as she directed her spell at the falling boy, that she was too late.

'Arresto momentum!'

She saw the spell hit, saw James' descent slow slightly, but she knew it wouldn't be enough, knew that the height he had fallen from and the speed he was travelling at meant he still couldn't survive if he hit the ground. She frantically searched her brain for a spell to catch a falling man, and felt her panic increase as she drew a blank. It had been seconds since he'd fallen, but it felt like hours, and the blood was pulsing in her ears as she was finally paralysed by the fear that she was about to see him die.

Sirius had heard the crack and had immediately jerked his head up, recognising from experience the sound of a broom failing. He saw James falling, saw his broom fall away from him, and even though he knew he couldn't possibly make it in time, he aimed his broom for the far end of the pitch where his best friend was falling, flattened himself along its length and flew as fast as he could.

He saw the spell Lily had cast hit James, and for one wild second he thought that James was saved, but as his friend continued his fall his sharp brain realised that Lily did not have enough power to support the entire body weight of an adult man; nobody at Hogwarts had that kind of power, except possibly Dumbledore, and Dumbledore wasn't here. Still, he realised what she didn't – the slight decrease in the speed of James' fall should give him just enough time to reach him before he hit the ground.

Despite the desperate speed he was flying at, Sirius was unable to actually get his broom under James' falling body weight, and as his best friend plummeted past him towards the ground he made one last frantic attempt; he stuck out one arm and grabbed a handful of James' Quidditch robes. He felt the searing pain of his shoulder dislocating burn through his body as his arm attempted to take the weight, but his mind couldn't retain control of a limb when it was suffering such agony, and his grip slipped. James fell once again, and unable to keep his grip on his broom through the pain, this time Sirius was falling with him.

What neither of them knew at this point was that they had only been eight feet from the ground when Sirius had made his despairing grab, and his efforts had slowed James' fall just enough. The two of them hit the ground together and lay in a crumpled and broken heap, neither able to retain consciousness through the pain; but they were alive.

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James stirred and felt a shooting pain start at his pelvis and run up and down the length of his spine. He grimaced at the pain, but as his mind began to frantically recall and sort through his memories of the match, he felt a wave of relief as he realised how close he had come to dying, and suddenly the pain didn't seem quite so extreme. Still, he was unable to restrain the groan that escaped as he tried to move.

'James?' Lily's voice came to him, though it took his frazzled brain a moment to process that he was actually hearing her. He forced his eyes open and took in the blurry face hovering over him, red hair glowing under the lights of the room. He felt his glasses being placed onto his face, and Lily's worried features came into focus above him.

'Hey.' He croaked the word at her, his voice cracking on the second syllable. She grabbed a glass off the bedside table and supported his head as she raised it to his lips. He'd never thought water could taste so good. It wasn't until she lowered his head gently back to the pillow that he registered that he was in his own bed.

'How come I'm not imprisoned in the hospital wing?' His voice sounded stronger, back to its normal rich tones.

'Well, I had to make a number of promises…' Lily teased him, throwing his words from a few weeks ago back at him, and he laughed and hooked his arms round her, pulling her down to the bed until she lay alongside him. He twisted so he could look at her, ignoring the tugs of pain low in his back.

'Pomfrey let me take you and Sirius back to your rooms once she'd healed you both, since the hospital wing is bursting with students who've developed some weird fungus on their faces.'

'Fungus? Eww.' James pulled a disgusted face. 'Glad I'm not there.' Lily laughed, and he felt his face relax into a smile for a moment before it was replaced by a worried expression. 'Is Pads okay?'

'Fine. All healed and in his dorm, demanding everyone act as his slaves while he's an invalid. Remus has hit him twice already.' Lily was laughing again; it was quickly becoming his favourite sound in the world.

'Moony doesn't have much of a temper, but Sirius seems to have quite the talent for finding it.' James ran his fingers through her hair and watched the happiness dance across her face as she continued her giggles. She was just so damn pretty.

'I love you Lily.'

He hadn't meant to say it, not now. It just came out, like the pressure thinking about it created in his chest just couldn't be contained any more, and now he just had to deal with the consequences.

She'd stopped laughing and was biting her lip as her eyes searched his face. He waited with increasing nervousness, his pulse picking up and his palms beginning to sweat. Or was he imagining that?

'I love you too.' He blinked once, twice, then came to his senses as he properly understood what had just happened and he pulled her lips to his.

'I thought…I'd completely…freaked you out…I thought you were…going into shock… or something… or that you were just…going to…leg it out of here…' his words were muffled by her skin and there were long gaps between them when he was planting kisses all over her neck and face.

'James, listen. James!' He was still a flurry of lips all over her face and neck, and it took her a moment to push his face away from hers, but then she held it between her hands, rubbing her thumbs gently over his cheekbones and jawline. 'If you'd said it a week ago, Hell if you'd said it yesterday, I might well have done just that. But after today, watching you…' Her voice broke, and she swallowed thickly, trying to clear her throat before she continued. 'Watching you fall and being completely helpless…I just…' The tears welled up, but she refused to let them fall, and at the same time she choked back the sobs. 'It was the scariest few minutes of my life. The thought that you would be gone, that I'd never see you again…I never knew I loved you until the second I saw you falling, and then I just _knew._ Just like that, all the stupid clichés…'

She was cut off again by James' lips crashing into hers as he completely ignored the throbbing ache in his back to roll her over so he could press her into the mattress with his body. His lips ran over hers then left then to trace the edge of her jaw, the curve of her neck and the line of her collarbone. He slowed his path and paused to press a kiss right over the pulse point in her neck, feeling her pulse race for him. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent, and despite the pulsing twinges in his back and shoulders, he didn't think he'd ever been happier.

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**********A/N: Thank you for reading, and if you have time, let me know what you think in a review. I'm always grateful for feedback, and when I'm trying and failing miserably to write a new chapter I like to re-read my reviews for inspiration.  
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	24. Chapter 24 - Love

**A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the longest chapter yet, and oddly enough probably the easiest to write. It just flowed really easily, and look at that(!), it's only a few days since my last update. I'm just being too generous now. **

**Co-incidentally and totally irrelevantly, this is my favourite chapter so far. Be warned, it's fluffy. As you will probably be able to guess when you have read it, I originally planned to post it on New Year's Eve, but I wasn't even close to having it ready. You'll just have to try and pretend. **

**Also, can I just say I was so shocked to break 200 reviews. **

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Lily breathed a sigh of relief as she finally – finally – closed the lid of her trunk. She felt like she'd been packing forever, even though it had probably been less than a couple of hours, but that might have been down to the flat-out panic brought on by only having a couple of hours in which to do it. She supposed it served her right for leaving it until the very last minute, but in the name of Circe, Morgana and everything wizardly, she_ hated_ packing.

She slumped back on her bed and stared at its dark wood canopy, her eyes tracing the outlines of the intricate curved patterns on it, the fingers of one hand tangling themselves in the heavy cream drapes that hung from it. If she was honest, the packing wasn't the problem, not really. Though she did bloody loathe it. No, the _problem_ was the fact that she was going home for the holidays; home to her sister who despised her, her sister's boyfriend who was both terrified and suspicious of her, and her parents who couldn't understand the hostility between their two daughters. And away from James, who was probably – though she hated to admit it - the only person who could get her through this without her either having a breakdown or being sent to Azkaban for hexing Petunia into oblivion.

She sighed and pushed down on her closed eyes with the heels of her palms. She had to stop _thinking_ like that; there had been life before James Potter after all. She had gotten through how many years of Petunia's malicious remarks? Endured how many insults? All of that had been done without James' love and support, what was one more Christmas of family disparity and reproachful silences, with or without him?

Then again, maybe this _was_ worse. Maybe it was worse to _have_ that love and support, and to not be able to take it with you – she thought of James and Sirius, spending Christmas with the Potter's, the very image of a loving, if unconventional family – maybe it was harder to spend time around people who couldn't stand you when you had actually had someone who wanted you, and you weren't able to be with them. Not that her_ parents_ didn't want her – not once had she ever felt that – but no matter how much they loved her, and she them, there was and always would be Petunia. Cruel, spiteful and vitriolic, always imagining slights where there were none and voicing her distaste through barely disguised barbs.

She groaned and pulled her pillow from under her head, smothering her face with it. She opened her mouth and screamed into it. The sound was muffled by the downy filling, but it was the release of frustration that screaming brought that she was after, not the noise. She wouldn't want to worry anyone after all; she just needed to let her irritation and hurt out somehow and she wasn't allowed to hex people.

'What...exactly...are you doing with that pillow?'

James' bewildered voice came from the doorway, and Lily could feel the blush starting at her chest and making its way inexorably upwards, creeping up her neck to encroach on her cheeks. She clutched the pillow tighter to her face and bit down into it, screwing her eyes closed in mute embarrassment before answering.

'Nothing?'

The word was barely intelligible through a mouthful of material, but there was definitely a hopeful edge to it; a faint hope that he would politely forget about what he had seen and never mention it again. Obviously, this wasn't to be the case, as she felt the pillow being tugged gently but firmly out of her grasp. She tried to hold onto it, but James was significantly stronger, and it didn't take a huge amount of effort on his part to separate her from it. He climbed onto the bed and sat down alongside her, and then he turned the pillow over and examined it critically, his expression becoming amused when he noted the teeth marks where her mouth had been.

'What, were you trying to eat it?' He poked her gently in the side with one finger. 'Was it that tasty then?'

He discarded the pillow to one side and used his newly freed hand to prod the other side of her stomach. 'Are pillows edible in the muggle world? No wonder you're always a bit chubbier in September after a summer at home stuffing your face...'

He was cut off by Lily letting out a squeal of outrage and then using her entire body weight to push him over backwards, her body following until she landed on top of him and attempted to tickle him.

'I am not...chubbier...after the...summer...you git!' The words came out breathless as she fought to keep James pinned underneath her, wriggling away from his grasp, slapping at his wandering hands and trying to maintain an air of annoyance. She could admit that it was becoming more difficult to do so; James had... very _persuasive_ hands. Hands that had somehow taken only minutes to pin her own hands to her sides by clamping his over them and trapping them against her hips. He pulled himself upright until he was sitting up and she was pulled tight to him, straddling him with her knees on either side of his lap, her hands still constrained by his; he rubbed his nose along the line of her throat until his lips stopped at the hollow where the base of her neck joined her collarbone.

'You know I don't mean it.' His warm breath washed over her throat, and the vibration of his softly spoken words against her neck sent an answering hum running all over her skin. Just a little low shiver than ran down to her toes and back again, that set her nerves endings on fire and made her skin burn.

'I'd have hexed you if I thought you did.' Lily's voice was just as soft as his had been, and she felt his grip on her hands slacken as the tone made it obvious that she was done with attacking him. In the conventional way at least. He cautiously released his grip until his hands were entirely free, and then he moved them to run up and down her sides, fingers brushing over her ribs, thumbs rubbing circles on the skin of her bare stomach, his knuckles skimming the edges of her undone shirt...wait, what?

Realising she'd closed her eyes, she slammed them open and looked into his grinning face; he looked so ridiculously pleased with himself that she couldn't summon the will to pretend to be angry. Instead, she allowed the smile that wanted so desperately to break out to spread across her features.

'Sneaky aren't you?' She ran her hands through his hair and then tangled them in, fingers gripping tightly as she watched his eyes as they looked at her in a way that made the knees that were holding her up tremble slightly. 'You're always doing that, are you that keen on getting my clothes off then?'

'Well, I've thought about it since I was fourteen, more or less.' James began to button the front of her shirt back up, allowing his fingers to slip past the fabric and brush against the skin beneath occasionally. 'So, yeah.'

He fastened another button with a flourish, placing a kiss just above it, directly on her breastbone, feeling her fingers tighten in his hair just ever so slightly, and only for a moment. 'But appealing though the idea is I'd rather not have to rush for the sake of catching the train, so...later's good.'

He pressed his face to her heartbeat and she moved her hands to hold his head against her chest for a few quiet moments. When he finally spoke again it was quiet and contented.

'You know, the sight of you gnawing on your bedding distracted me from what I was actually coming in for in the first place.'

'And what was that?' Lily's head was resting on top of his, and she let out a discontented sound when he pushed her back and slid off the bed. She flopped back on the mattress, propping herself up on raised elbows and watching him move away from her across the room. She was going to miss him; even though she was happy to be spending time with her parents, it was no substitute for being with James; with his stupid messy hair, and his idiotic grin, and his stubborn attitude...

God she was pathetic. And these thoughts were _not_ helpful to her state of mind. The thought of being with Petunia for two solid weeks was bad enough, did she have to be so pitifully in love with him that she'd feel like her heart was being squeezed to a bloody pulp every day she didn't see him?

She was distracted from these rather maudlin thoughts when he stopped at her dressing table near the door and lifted up a large white box that Lily hadn't previously noticed was there – he must have abandoned it on there when he came in, while she was still buried in her pillow. He picked it up with both hands and turned to her, holding it out for her to take.

'This is from my mum apparently.' Noting Lily's raised eyebrow, he offered a one-shoulder shrug. 'Hey, I don't know what goes on in her head. All I know is, she told me to give you this and not to look at it, since I'm not supposed to see you in it till New Year's Eve.'

Lily's felt her expression change to one of surprise; James continued to hold the box out in front of him and stare at her, obviously confused. 'The ball?' He offered by way of elucidation; as her baffled expression remained firmly in place he elaborated. 'The annual Potter New Year's Eve fundraiser?'

He began to falter slightly under her steely gaze as she used her elbows, then hands to push herself back upright into a sitting position. 'I did tell you about the annual ball my parents host at our house on New Year's Eve didn't I?' She shook her head slowly and deliberately, never once dropping eye contact with him. He gulped and rushed on with an explanation.

'See, we have this fundraiser every year; mum picks a charity to support, then we have an enormous party at our house. I was supposed to ask you to come, and mum thought it would be nice for you to stay for a couple of days afterwards and then we could come straight back to school from my house.' He ran out of breath and paused for a moment. 'Are you_ sure_ I haven't mentioned this before?'

'I'm fairly sure I would have remembered.' She spoke slowly, enunciating each word, and saw James wince slightly, apparently waiting for the inevitable explosion of temper that was bound sure to be heading his way. To his complete shock – and, if she was completely honest, to hers as well - she threw back her head and laughed. Seemingly confused by this turn of events, he allowed himself to visibly relax his posture slightly and a small smile crept back onto his face, but he remained braced for a possible bout of bad temper.

'James Potter, come here.' Lily crooked a finger at him, her face set in a mischievous grin, and he moved towards her with far more reluctance than normal. When he was close enough, she gripped the hem of his t-shirt and tugged him towards her.

'James.' She sat up on her knees so she could wrap her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his lips. 'I would love to come and stay at your house for New Year.' Another kiss landed on the very corner of his mouth. 'But your mum shouldn't have got me a dress, it wasn't necessary.'

'It's one of your Christmas presents.' Murmured James through a haze of relief and lust as Lily's lips continued to work over his face. She leant back slightly and gripped the collar of his t-shirt with one fist as she stared at him.

'_One_ of my Christmas presents?'

'Well, yeah.' James attempted to pull her face back to his but she remained firm, her grip on his shirt never faltering as she held his overly convincing mouth away from hers. 'You know, I'm sure she said she was going to send the rest of them to your parents at the same time as the invitation; she just wanted me to hand this one to you myself.'

Lily's finger landed on his lips, effectively silencing him while her other hand still held onto him. If he got his lips _anywhere near_ hers, she would completely lose the thread of this. 'What invitation?'

'Ah, oh, well...my mother...you see what my mother may have done...actually, what she definitely _has _done...is invite your family to the ball too.'

Lily spoke slowly and deliberately, trying to feel her way through the strange tumult of emotions the morning's revelations had inspired. 'Your mum invited my family to a wizard's ball?'

James shrugged again, visibly awkward at this turn of events. Lily looked distant as she considered the situation for a moment, then she laughed wholeheartedly again. 'That's brilliant! Do you know what they said?'

Distinctly confused and totally and completely out of his depth, James replied carefully, obviously taking great pains to choose his words. 'Your parents are coming; apparently your mum was thrilled, though your dad was a bit less enthusiastic...but... but I don't think Petunia accepted the invitation.'

Lily laughed harder, falling back on the bed and letting her arms flop loosely at her sides. She laughed until her sides hurt, until there were tears streaming down her cheeks and her face was bright red in the most unattractive way possible. She laughed until it hurt to breathe and there was no energy left in her to move her abdominal muscles anymore. She laughed because James Potter was so damn perfect, even when he was being an idiot, and a forgetful idiot at that. She laughed because he loved her enough to try to say the right thing, even when there was no right thing to be said. She laughed because no matter how mean Petunia was to her, he had somehow managed to give her something to look forward to this holiday.

James perched himself on the edge of the bed as she laughed herself stupid, until she was clutching at her sides and hiccoughing as the fit of giggles died down. Then he stretched out alongside her, laying flat on his back and pulling her head up to rest on his shoulder, rubbing his hand along her arm soothingly; sometimes, he was well aware, there wasn't that much difference between laughing and crying.

Lily nestled her face into his shoulder and focused on the feeling of him stroking her arm, tried to identify the scent of his shampoo, and counted his breaths as her body calmed itself. For some bizarre reason, even when he was getting everything wrong, everything James Potter did made her feel so much better.

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'Going to be late for the _sodding_ train, they are _such_ a pair of berks!' Marlene stormed along the corridor towards the Head's Office, Sirius jogging along behind her as he tried to keep pace with her annoyed march, his expression completely unconcerned.

'Aw, come on Marls, Prongs isn't a berk. Not really. I mean, who cares about the train?' The look Marlene shot him over her shoulder could have cut glass, and he held his hands up in mock surrender. 'Alright, alright, they're a pair of bloody great prats. Anything you say. But you may want to rethink your plan here sweetheart.'

They had reached the door to the Head's Office, and Marlene pushed it open and was through it faster than he thought possible, heading straight for the portrait that led to the private common room behind. She had said the password and was just about to shove through the entrance when Sirius smacked it shut again with his hand and leant against it, effectively blocking her from the doorway.

'Make that: you _definitely_ might want to rethink your plan here.'

Marlene aimed her very best glare at him – the one she usually reserved for the Quidditch pitch – folded her arms across her chest and began to tap her foot rapidly and impatiently.

'What are you blathering on about?'

Sirius began to move towards her, away from the door, but then thought better of it and leant against it again; he wouldn't put it past her to pounce for it as soon as he was off-guard.

'I'm saying: what could they possibly be doing in there that would make them forget about catching the train?' Sirius raised an eyebrow at Marlene, waiting for comprehension to dawn. When her face stayed set in that – admittedly _extremely_ sexy – pout, he sighed, and pushing his more inappropriate thoughts away, he elaborated. 'Use your head darling girl. What could a pair of extremely sexually-frustrated teenagers who've been dancing around each other for years be doing to make them totally lose track of time?'

'Oh!' Marlene's hand flew to her mouth as she realised just what Sirius was implying. 'You don't think...'

He gave her an amused glance, raising his eyebrow suggestively. She considered for a moment, then lunged at the door again, catching him unawares and shoving him aside. 'In that case, I am _definitely _going in. This is a once in a lifetime chance!'

She was through the door and yelling Lily's name before Sirius could react, and if he was completely honest with himself he was beginning to agree with Marlene – that this might just be too good an opportunity to pass up, blackmail-wise – so he followed her in, arriving in time to see Lily heading down the stairs, hair mussed and every visible inch of her skin flushed bright red.

'What's all the yelling about?' The redhead demanded, her eyes flicking between the two of them.

'The yelling, _darling,_ is because if you two aren't downstairs with your luggage in five minutes, you're going to miss the train.' Marlene was watching Lily with narrowed eyes, taking in her appearance and storing ammunition for the interrogation she would be conducting on the train ride home. She saw Lily's eyes slide to her wristwatch and her mouth frame a silent swear word before she turned and yelled up the stairs for James to get moving. She turned back to face them and gave them a grin in an obvious attempt to hide her embarrassment.

'_Whatever _were you doing to make you so late sweetie?' Marlene's tones were syrupy as she delivered her question, but her expression suggested that _she _had an idea of what had been going on, and she wasn't going to let it go anytime soon. Sirius pointedly looked up at the ceiling, trying to pretend that he wasn't paying any attention at all. Lily answered quickly, but in nervous tones that just confirmed she wasn't telling them the truth – not the whole truth anyway.

'We were having a stern talk. About James not making insulting jokes about my supposed weight gain.'

Marlene gave Lily a long appraising look, and Sirius did his best to hide his continuing chuckles by turning to face the wall and pretending to study a painting.

'A stern talk?' The blonde girl mused. 'I should hope so. Jokes about a girl's weight just aren't funny. I hope you gave him a real talking to?' She arched an eyebrow to indicate that she expected an answer, and Lily ignored the laughter tremors that were increasing in severity in Sirius' shoulders as she responded.

'I did. Like I said; a very stern talk. Hence the lateness.'

'Hmm.' Marlene made a low humming noise in the back of her throat. 'If you say so darling. Anyway, chop chop; train, Christmas, don't want to be later than you already are, and so on.'

'Of course. I'll just grab my trunk. And the idiot.' Lily turned to dash back up the stairs.

'Oh, and Lils?' Marlene's voice was sugary sweet, and Lily paused on the stairs and turned to face her best friend with a questioning expression. Marlene's face broke out into a huge grin, and Sirius finally lost it and leant his head against the wall as he howled with laughter.

'Your shirt's done up wrong.'

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'We're going to be late Marls, how can you still be doing your hair?' Lily demanded as she frantically paced the small open space in her bedroom, spinning the charm bracelet that had been her Christmas gift from James round and round on her wrist as she went.

'Sweetie, we're taking a portkey _directly_ to Potter Manor, we have loads of time before the ball starts.' Marlene turned her attention back to the mirror and continued to curl her hair with her wand, her composed expression never faltering. 'And since you ask, some of us are not lucky enough to have hair as naturally fantastic as yours. _Everyone_ notices a redhead. Blondes, however, are ten-a-galleon and I need to stand out, don't you agree?'

Lily gave an exasperated eye-roll and returned to her pacing and spinning. The dress Mrs Potter had bought for her – and that she hadn't opened till Christmas, no matter how tempted she'd been – was lovely; a pale champagne colour that actually gave her skin a bit of life instead of making her look washed out with a sweetheart neckline with cap sleeves that was sexy without being overly-revealing. Even the length was perfect, finishing just below her knees and making her appear taller than she actually was. She just wished that she felt as okay with everything else as she did with her dress.

While she was thrilled to think that she would be seeing James in less than an hour – a matter of minutes really, when you thought about it - the idea of mixing with all the Potter's family friends, many of them high-ranking ministry officials, wealthy purebloods, or both, had begun to make her feel just a little apprehensive. She knew how prevalent the derogatory view of muggle-borns was, and the idea of spending an evening enduring barely-disguised insults was panic-attack inducing. She knew that James – and his parents for that matter – would tolerate no such thing, but surely she couldn't spend the entire night attached to James. Appealing though the idea was. And it really, _really_ was, in more ways than one.

She had to calm down, and stop imagining the worst. She gave herself an internal pep-talk, and felt her frayed nerves settle a little as she forced herself to consider the situation clearly and logically. She stopped pacing and perched on the edge of the bed instead; she glanced down at the bracelet she had been anxiously turning and felt the nervous fluttering in her stomach disperse, to be replaced with an entirely different kind of butterflies. When she'd opened James' gift on Christmas morning her first instinct had been to be appalled by how much he must have spent; it still bothered her enough that she'd raised the issue with Marlene when she'd arrived earlier that evening, and she had been thoroughly laughed at:

_'Sweetie, James has bucketloads of money, far more than he needs, so just let him spend it. It makes him happy to buy you things darling, and he __**does**__ have superb taste.'_

Helpful as ever Marly, thank you.

After she'd got over the initial shock of the extravagance of the gift, she'd come to appreciate how lovely it was. The silver chain links were finely crafted but substantial, and the three charms he'd already added were both beautiful and meaningful – a lily, a heart and a stag. It wasn't until quite some time later - after her mother had finished squealing over it, and after Petunia had made a number of snippy comments – that she realised that the order in which he'd placed the charms on the bracelet was probably no coincidence either.

Stag. Heart. Flower.

Prongs. Heart. Lily.

James loves Lily.

He was too much of a romantic for _that_ to be a fluke. It was probably carved on tree trunks all over the grounds of Potter Manor by now.

She found herself smiling at the idea, and resolved that if he hadn't already done it, they'd do that tonight. For the first time in hours, all the nervous fluttering in her stomach was gone, drowned out by the bubbling warmth and confidence that apparently only the thought of James Potter could inspire in her.

Bugger. She was totally gone over him wasn't she?

At just that point in her thought process she registered Marlene's disgruntled presence directly in front of her, snapping her fingers in front of Lily's eyes.

'Honestly, you complain about _me_ making _you_ late! At least I was being productive' – she indicated her perfectly coiffed hair – '_you_ were just daydreaming about getting James into the sack.' She dropped several items from the dressing table into her clutch bag and ignored Lily's flaming cheeks.

'I was not! I was just...'

'Yeah, yeah, save it for someone who believes it.' Marlene waved a beautifully manicured hand in her direction. 'Are you ready?'

'I've been ready for ages!' Lily protested half-heartedly, laughing despite herself.

'Then let's go dance sweetheart.' Marlene tugged her out of her room and along the landing to the stairs. 'Wait till you see what Dorea has done with the house, it looks fantastic! Your mum is going to love it. I can't wait to see what your parents think of a wizard's ball.'

A derisive snort came from the open doorway alongside them. Lily stopped with a sigh, turning to face the entrance to Petunia's room. 'Something you wanted to say Tuney?'

Lily watched as her sister rose from her prone position on the bed, walked to the door and unceremoniously slammed it in her face. 'Bye then. See you at Easter.' Lily directed her words at the closed door.

Marlene raised an eyebrow. 'She just gets more charming every time I come here.'

'I know. I think she practises.'

Marlene burst into peals of laughter, and after a moment Lily joined her as they headed to the downstairs hall where her parents were waiting. Marlene produced a Christmas tree angel from her clutch and held it out for everyone to touch. She aimed a sideways look at Lily.

'James chose your portkey you know. I think it's sickeningly cute personally.' Before Lily could aim a well-deserved hex in her direction, she felt the world lurch sideways as the portkey glowed blue.

Lily felt the sickening tug in her stomach begin to fade and then the grounds of Potter Manor span into view and her feet made contact with the lawn next to the gravelled driveway. She stumbled to the side, but kept her balance; which was no small mercy, since she could only imagine what Sirius would say if he saw her wondering around with grass stains on her pale-coloured dress.

She turned to face her parents who were both staring at the illuminated house; Lily could tell by their facial expressions that they were having much the same reaction she'd had upon first seeing the Potter's home.

'Come on, we'll introduce you to Charlus and Dorea.' Marlene stepped between Rose and William and linked arms with them both, tugging them gently towards the house.

'And James I hope.' Rose said archly, shooting a reproving look over her shoulder at Lily who was wondering along behind them and she groaned inwardly, praying that her parents were not about to subject James to a grilling, because now she was here the nerves were back, that fluttering in her stomach, the feeling of her lungs compressing in mild panic.

She steeled her spine, stood up straighter in her high heels and tried to emulate Marlene's effortless air of unconcern as they travelled up the driveway and entered the house through some side doors she'd never been through before that led directly to the ballroom. She couldn't have been through the door for more than two seconds when she heard a shout of greeting and was engulfed in an exuberant hug by Sirius.

'Er, hello to you too?' She spoke hesitantly, but she reciprocated the hug and was glad she did; Sirius carried a sort of natural warmth with him, much like James did, that made you feel somehow better when you were near him.

'Stop manhandling the girl Sirius!' Dorea's voice came from behind Sirius, and he released her with a grin and a wink only for her to be hugged by James' mother. 'Oh, sweetie you look wonderful in that dress, I knew it when I saw it, it couldn't possibly do for anyone else!' She stepped back to allow her husband to move in for a hug, and as Charlus' arms wrapped around her Lily resigned herself to a demonstration of fondness from the entire family. Apparently James' overly affectionate nature was genetic. Merlin only knew how Sirius came by it, general overexposure probably.

She stood with them all for a few moments, nodding along politely with the conversation as her parents met James' for the first time, but she couldn't give them her full attention, couldn't help herself as she craned her neck and tried to skim her eyes over the throng of people, looking for a head of messy black hair. Marly had been right, the decorations _were_ fabulous, all white and silver and frosty-looking, and she loved them and had to admire Dorea's eye for such things, but at the moment she was only able to give them the most passing of thoughts.

'Looking for someone?' A deep voice whispered in her ear, a voice that she recognised instantly, and without a second's thought to propriety or appearance or anything but her own selfish urges, she spun around and hurled herself at him.

He didn't appear to mind her total lack of self-control though, as he laughed at her and wrapped his arms round her waist, pulling her in tight and enveloping her in his warmth and scent, his lips pressing a kiss to her hairline as he whispered a more private, for-her-ears-only greeting in her ear. Every little twinge of self-doubt, every worry and concern that she'd plagued herself with all fell away, washed from her mind by the feel and smell of James Potter. Hell with pure-bloods, parents, sisters or ministry bigwigs. Who cared? She was where she belonged.

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'Some party.' William commented as James handed him another drink. He had to admit, he was impressed by Lily's dad's capacity for alcohol; it was twenty to midnight, he'd started drinking shortly after he'd arrived at seven, and he hadn't stopped since. It was impressive in its own right, but even more so when you considered that not only was William Evans still upright at this point, he appeared to be completely coherent.

'Yeah, mum tends to go for it.' James shrugged and slid into the seat alongside him, following his eye line to find Lily on the dance floor with Sirius, the redhead shaking with laughter as Sirius attempted to teach her a complicated series of steps. The process was unquestionably not helped by Sirius' definite inebriation. Still, James couldn't help but smile at the sight of his girlfriend and his best mate making right idiots of themselves in public and having a whale of a time doing so.

The sound of William clearing his throat drew James' attention back to him; he was watching James with something akin to curiosity in his eyes.

'Is this the part where I grill you about your intentions towards my daughter?'

It was James' turn to clear his throat. 'If you want to sir. I have no problem with telling you anything you want to know. I feel I should warn you though, that I'm not as scared of you interrogating me as I am of your wife doing it.'

William choked on a mouthful of drink, and let out a booming laugh. 'Well, at least you're clear-sighted. Fair warning though, I very much doubt you'll be wriggling away from my Rosie tonight, no matter how slippery you can be. And to hear Lily tell it, you're pretty smooth when you want to be.'

'Thank you. I think.' James muttered, unsure as to what would be an appropriate response.

William's laugh sounded again, making Lily look over mid-spin and send one of those beaming smiles in their direction. James felt his face light up in response at the sight of her, all perfect pale skin and flying red hair and beautiful dress; sometimes it hurt just to look at her, sometimes it hit him like a punch to the gut to realise that she was his, just like he was hers, categorically, immutably and always. But seeing her now and_ knowing_ all of that gave him the confidence to deal with any questions William Evans might have for him.

'So James' William leant in towards him, making sure the question could only be heard between them 'what exactly _are_ your intentions towards my daughter?'

'I love her and I want to marry her.' The words tripped off his tongue before he even had time to consider the wisdom of blurting such a thing out to her father, especially when he'd barely allowed himself to think it before, never mind say it out loud to someone else. But he was still watching her, and it was like he was drunk on watching Lily Evans dance, on her hair flying loose around her and her skin reflecting the lights and her green eyes flashing with laughter, and watching her made him think that he could just say whatever he was feeling or thinking, like she was veritaserum for the heart.

'Well, Jesus.' William took a good long swig of his drink to recover from the shock. 'Give a bloke a heart attack.'

There was silence between them for a moment, until William spoke again.

'All a bit sudden isn't it?'

James let out a short laugh, his attention still partly on Lily, a fact which did not go unnoticed by her father. The boy's face was practically _glowing _as he watched her. 'Depends on how you view it. I guess for her it might be. But I've been sliding my way into being in love with her since I was fourteen years old, so I guess I'm running ahead of her a little.'

William seemed to take a moment to absorb James' words.

'Does she know?'

'Which part?' For the first time since he'd sat down James turned his full attention to William, abandoning his Lily-watching for a moment. Her father seemed almost speechless; James supposed he was. You probably didn't hear blokes say they wanted to marry your daughter every day. Deciding to fill the silence himself, he plunged on.

'She knows I love her, I've told her that much. And she knows I've liked her for a long time, though I'm not sure she really comprehends _how _long. But I'd, uh, appreciate it if you could keep the bit about wanting to marry her to yourself for a while.'

'And why would you want me to do that?' William's eyes were narrowed in suspicion.

'Well, you see, I haven't actually managed to broach the subject with Lily as yet. And er, if she hears about it from someone else and gets it into her head that I'm trying to push her or manipulate her...well, then she'll make up her mind to go hell bent in the other direction just to be stubborn about it...and I'm sure I could change her mind eventually, but I'd rather not have to _nag_ her into marrying me...'

James trailed off, unsure if he'd successfully made his point but unable to put into words exactly what he meant. William was staring at him incredulously, his mouth half-open. He took an absent swig of his drink and opened and closed his mouth twice before managing to get a reply out.

'Bloody hell, you really do _know_ her don't you?' His grin suddenly reappeared and he began to laugh, almost to himself. 'Never seen a more bloody-minded girl than my Lily. It's one of my favourite things about her. So…that whole convincing her to marry you thing - best of luck with that.' He raised his glass in a sort-of toast and then swallowed the contents in one easy gulp. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, it's five minutes to midnight, and I need to find my wife.'

The two of them stood up and he began to head off, before turning back to face James, pointing a finger at him. 'You know it's annoying. I actually like you, James Potter.' James smiled at him, unsure of where this could possibly be going. William took a step back towards him and jabbed him in the chest with his outstretched finger. 'Which means that I'll be sad if I have to rip your arms off for hurting my little girl. I'll be sad about it…but I'll still do it. So best thing for both of us is if you make her happy.'

James nodded slowly, considering William's words, and as they sank in he felt a strangely manic grin creep across his face. 'I reckon I've spent a good few years trying to work out what makes Lily Evans happy. I figure I may as well give it the rest of my life.' He saw the corners of William's mouth twitch slightly as he removed his finger from James' chest and left to find his wife.

Slightly baffled and strangely uplifted at the same time, James headed to the dance floor to retrieve Lily from the drunken embrace of his best mate. This was done by the simple expedient of grasping Sirius by the collar and pulling him backwards. His level of intoxication meant that his body just went automatically with the path of least resistance, and James gently pulled him backwards away from Lily and deposited him in the arms of a hysterically laughing Marlene. Returning to Lily, he followed the slightly insane urge to sweep her up in his arms bridal-style and kiss every bit of skin he could get his lips to. She giggled, pushed at his face and said his name repeatedly, at first in a tone of extreme embarrassment, then finally in a series of sighs as his mouth ran across her flesh. As the peals of the midnight bells rang through the Potter's ballroom, to be met with laughter and cheers, and the bright optimism of new beginnings, her lips met his, and her body melted against him as he held her up in his arms, and he swore he'd never give William Evans reason to rip his arms off.

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'Tired yet?' She didn't look tired, mused James as he looked down at her. They were in the Potter's family sitting room, which was still relatively full of their friends, and she was sat in one of the chairs nearest the doors, her legs tucked under her as she observed Remus and Julia laughing together on the other side of the room. She lifted her head and raised an eyebrow at James, discreetly jerking her head in their direction.

He shrugged. 'No idea. No point in pushing Moony, if he wants to tell you, he'll tell you. Some things he keeps to himself.'

Lily turned her head to watch them and James took a moment to appreciate her silhouette; the smooth line of her neck flowing down into the gentle curve of her shoulder. Unable to resist it, he stretched out an arm and ran a finger from below her ear to the very edge of the fabric of her dress. She turned to look up at him and smiled. 'Time for bed?' she asked.

'If you want. Mostly everyone's gone now. Just this bunch of gits left.' He raised his voice on the last sentence and waved an arm to indicate the room in general, earning several catcalls from their closest friends, most of whom were staying the night. She nodded and held a hand out to him; he grabbed it and pulled her upright, making sure to reach his free hand out to steady her if she needed it. Since he planned on spending his entire life holding up Lily Evans, he may as well start now. She bumped up against him as she stood, and for some reason they both lost their breath for a second at the brush of contact. They turned to leave the room together, ignoring the whistles and shouted comments from their friends.

James led Lily up the stairs; the same route he had led her along that very first day here almost six months ago. They turned at the top of the stairs and headed along a familiar corridor. He grasped her hand a little tighter as he recalled those moments in July and his thumb brushed one of the charms dangling from the bracelet on her wrist. He smiled when he saw it and lifted her arm so he could press his lips to the pulse point just underneath the bracelet. She gave him another one of those dazzling smiles; he liked to think of them as her "James" smiles, since he didn't think he'd ever seen her aim one at anyone else.

They reached the door of her room; it had been months since she'd last stayed in it, but he'd thought of it as her room ever since. He'd never admit it, probably not even to her, but he'd always sat in this room to write his letters to her over the summer. They stopped, and James reached down for the handle and swung the door open for her. She looked up at him, and he thought he'd never quite get used to those eyes. Still, he quite liked the idea that he would never take her for granted, never stop being surprised that he was looking at Lily Evans and she was looking right back.

'Come in for a second?' She asked quietly, her hand still in his as she took a step into the room. He allowed her to pull him through the door, and she stopped briefly to swing the door shut. At his questioning look she blushed slightly, letting go of his hand, her eyes settling on the floor before she spoke again.

'I,er, need your help with my dress. I can't undo the buttons down the back.'

'Okay.' James was a little surprised that his voice sounded as steady as it did. He reached out a hand and brushed it lightly down her arm. 'Turn around then.'

She did a slow turn on the spot and reached up to pull her hair over one shoulder, giving him clear access to the line of buttons than ran from the centre of her shoulder blades to the small of her back. He took a hesitant step forward and undid the first button, continuing down slowly. He did his very best to ignore the little tingles that shot from his hands down to his belly every time the tips of his fingers touched the flesh of her back, but when he undid the very last button he just couldn't resist running the knuckles of his fingers down the length of her spine, feeling the smooth softness of her skin beneath them.

He heard her inhale sharply, and pulled his hand away quickly in case he'd upset her. She turned on the spot in front of him, one hand resting on her chest to hold her dress up and the other reaching for his. She tangled her fingers with his and took a tentative step towards him, the blush on her cheeks only making her look more appealing in that moment. She stepped closer again, so close their bodies brushed and it was James' turn to draw in a short breath. She rose on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his, a light teasing brush that made his head reel and his skin tingle. He used their joined hands to tug her closer, and his free arm snaked around her back to rest a hand on her bare flesh, and she let go of his hand so her arms could encircle his neck, and somewhere in all that her dress slid down to the floor, forgotten, and minutes after _that_, their tangled bodies landed on the bed and the rest of the world ceased to matter completely for just a little while.

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**A/N: Thank you all for reading, and while I am grateful to each and every one of you who is, I would love it if you would fill in that little white box and tell me what you think.**


	25. Chapter 25 - Family

******A/N: You guys. Your reviews variously made me smile (yes, like an idiot), giggle and on at least one occasion, sniffle a little bit. **

******Thank you.**

******Have another chapter. **

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Cold morning light filtered in through the large windows, its piercing intensity stirring Lily from sleep. Her eyelids fluttered automatically, but she kept them closed against the brightness and snuggled her face closer to the skin of James' chest, feeling his arm tighten around her slightly as he responded to her touch even as he slept. She felt the calm rise and fall of his chest under her head, felt the steady beat of his heart against her ear and her lips curved upwards into a smile.

Keeping her eyes closed, she moved her hand up alongside her face so it was resting on his chest, and she used her index and middle fingers to tap along with his heart rate. He shifted alongside her, pressing a kiss into her hair, and she felt his free hand run up her thigh and come to rest on her hip. She tilted her head back and opened her eyes; they immediately found his, sleepy and only half-open, but still sparkling, as they always did when they looked at her.

'Morning.' He whispered groggily, stretching his legs out but maintaining his grip on her.

'Hmmm.' It was about all she could manage in reply, somewhere between a word and a groan, as she closed her eyes again and rolled her body a little to allow her to turn her face further into his upper body. She felt him laugh quietly, felt it rumble through his chest and she swatted him lightly in reproach. Remembering that they were in bed together in Potter Manor she felt a faint stirring of anxiety begin to churn in her stomach, but it wasn't quite able to break through the haze of sleepy contentment she currently found herself in.

'What time is it?' she mumbled sleepily, her face still pressed up close to him, his scent filling her nostrils and fogging up her mind, his skin muffling her words.

'I don't know.' She felt the muscles in his neck tense as he turned his head to look at the clock and then his hand left her hip as he began to grope around for something. 'Where did you chuck my glasses Lil?'

'Bedside table somewhere.' She waved a hand vaguely and then felt her body being pulled with his as he reached for them.

'It's just after nine.' His voice sounded clearer now, his hand beginning to rub gentle strokes up and down her side, and he smiled as she groaned at him.

'Don't, you'll send me back to sleep and I have to get up before someone decides to come in here and finds us.' Lily raised a hand to rub her eyes in an attempt to wake up properly.

'You don't need to get up.' answered James, not pausing for a second in his stroking. She opened her eyes again and moved her head to look at him questioningly, and he smiled at the sight of her, all curled up and sleepy, and he couldn't resist leaning down to kiss her forehead. 'In case you've forgotten, we're in your room. So the problem isn't that you're in bed, it's that _I'm_ in _your_ bed. I'll get up and you can stay here for as long as you like.'

His hand left her side to smooth over her hair, tucking it behind her ears so he could see her face clearly. He kissed down from her temple, across her cheek and along her jaw line and his slight stubble tickled lightly as it ran across her skin and made her giggle. Then he slid himself out of bed and began hunting for his clothes.

Lily managed to open her eyes and watched him sleepily as he gathered his dress robes into a messy bundle. He sat next to her on the bed in just his trousers and bent down to kiss her again.

'I'm going to apparate straight to my room and hopefully avoid Padfoot. Do you want me to wake you for breakfast? It won't be for at least an hour or so, we're always a bit slow on New Year's Day.'

'I'm not surprised.' Lily stretched her arms above her head and yawned. 'That was some party Potter.'

'Yeah, your dad thought so.'

Lily smiled at the memory of James and her father sat together. She wondered if she could get James to spill what they'd been talking about. She'd have to try that later.

'If you wouldn't mind then. I could use some breakfast. Especially if there's omelettes.' She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around the pillow he'd been using, burying her face in it, completely unable to stay awake any longer. As she drifted back to sleep, she felt him run a hand through her hair again and she only vaguely registered the last thing he said.

'If there isn't, love, I'll make you one myself.'

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That extra hour of sleep had been just what she needed, Lily decided as she bounced down the stairs towards the main floor. That and the wonderful, incredibly hot shower. She felt refreshed, happier with life than anyone had a right to be, and was positively bursting with energy.

'Someone's chirpy.' Marlene caught up with her and linked their arms. Lily threw her a dazzling smile then –completely overcome with a rush of affection for her best friend – threw her arms around her in an exuberant hug.

'Okay, make that someone's _incredibly_ chirpy.' Marly sounded both surprised and amused at Lily's sudden show of fondness; she knew she wasn't usually quite so openly affectionate, but today just felt like a day for hugging your friends. 'What's boiling your potion this morning?'

'Oh, you know. Great party, breakfast is waiting, all my friends are here, Petunia's _not_...'

'James is here.' finished Marly with a smirk. Lily felt a goofy grin spread across her face as she re-linked her arm through Marlene's and began to tug her down the stairs. 'Lily Evans, are you _blushing_?'

Lily ducked her head down and tried to hide behind her hair, because she knew Marlene was right and a blush was spreading its way across her cheeks. Never one to be put off, Marly let go of her arm and bounded a step or two past her before turning to face her again.

'You are! Why does the mention of your boyfriend's name make you go bright red?' Lily felt her cheeks flush even redder, and Marlene's face was stretched into a grin. 'Why, Lily Evans, what _have _you been up to?'

'I've no idea what you're talking about. Breakfast's waiting.' Lily rushed down the stairs past her, and Marlene turned and followed.

'I'm going to find out - you know you can't keep secrets from me dancing queen!'

Lily came to a shocked stop and whirled to face her friend, the memory of that_ particular_ birthday celebration making her face burn even hotter. 'You promised never to tell anyone about that!'

'If you don't spill, I'm going to tell the whole school about that and ruin your reputation forever!'

'You wouldn't!'

'Wouldn't I?' Marlene offered her a wicked grin. 'You don't have to give me details Lil – though I certainly wouldn't object.' Lily gave her an appalled look. 'Come on; just give me the general gist. I'm your best friend.' She gave Lily her very best pouty face – which she had polished to perfection, since it worked so well on Sirius – and Lily felt herself caving under the onslaught.

'I can't _believe_ we're having this discussion at all, and I _really _can't believe we're having it here, in a hallway, in James' parent's house.' Lily groaned, horrified by the direction her previously fantastic morning had suddenly taken.

'Well, if location is your objection...' Marlene grabbed Lily' arm and pushed her – none too gently – through the nearest door, which happened to be the family sitting room, swinging it shut behind them and adding locking and silencing charms for good measure.

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When Lily entered the kitchen, arm in arm with Marlene, James felt his face melt into what he knew was a particularly gooey smile. Ignoring the disgusted look he got from Sirius, he stood up to hug her, linking his arms round her waist and burying his face in her hair.

'Morning.'

'Morning.' Lily whispered back, wondering why they were whispering if they were pretending this was the first time they'd seen each other today. Her thoughts were interrupted by Sirius throwing pieces of toast at them.

'Oi, you two! Do I need to get a bucket of water or what?'

'Seems more appropriate for you than me Padfoot.' James mumbled into Lily' hair, only just loud enough for everyone else to hear. He felt Lily try to suppress a giggle as she caught the obvious reference to Sirius' animagus form. He kissed her forehead and let go of her, painfully aware of his mother's eyes burning holes in the back of his head. They turned back to sit down, and Marlene grinned wickedly at James.

'Morning Potter. Did you know your girlfriend blushes whenever someone mentions your name?'

'Marlene!' Lily hissed at her. James looked at the two of them, his confusion clearing slightly as he observed Lily's complete embarrassment and Marlene's evident glee. Girl talk had obviously happened. Putting all thought of Lily and Marlene discussing, well _that_, out of his mind – the less he knew about it, the better as far as he was concerned – he shot her a cocky grin before answering.

'All girls do that Marls, haven't you noticed? It's my overpowering, supreme sexiness.'

This statement resulted in several wolf whistles, a barrage of abuse regarding his appearance and several breakfast items being thrown at him, but he couldn't bring himself to care when he caught Lily's relieved expression and her quickly mouthed _thank you _for deflecting the attention away from her.

'I hope you lot are going to get all of the tasteless humour out of your systems this morning, because I expect best behaviour when Lily's parents are here this evening.' Dorea Potter spoke sternly from her position behind the kitchen counter, one hand on her hip and the other gesturing a wooden spoon threateningly in Sirius' direction.

Lily twisted in her seat to face James' mother. 'My parents?' she asked, mystified by Dorea's statement.

Dorea lowered her wooden spoon as she turned her attention away from Sirius and she smiled fondly at Lily. 'I hope you don't mind dear, but we enjoyed meeting your parents so much yesterday we invited your family for New Year's Day dinner this evening. It's another Potter tradition, a quiet meal after the ball the night before, and you're practically family now after all.'

'There's that blush again.' commented Marlene, observing the colour rising in Lily's face at Dorea's words.

'Oh hush Marlene, stop trying to embarrass the girl. A tendency to blush is the curse of the redhead.' She aimed a wink at Lily. 'Worth it to have hair that fabulous though.'

Lily felt her face relax into a smile and she caught James' eye for the first time since his mother had started speaking; she was pleased to note that he looked just as appalled as she felt at this parental interference, and they both started to laugh at their near-identical dismayed facial expressions.

At that exact moment, Charlus Potter swept into the kitchen, boundless energy and enthusiasm radiating off him as normal, despite the long day yesterday.

'Dorea, your handwriting is atrocious, I have no idea what this actually said, so I guessed. If I've done everything wrong, it's _entirely _your fault...' he trailed off as he caught sight of Lily sat at the breakfast table.

'Lily!' He boomed, sweeping her out of her chair and into an enormous hug. Out of the corner of her eye she saw James' head land on the table as the second of his parents proceeded to terrify Lily with sheer over-affection.

'Someone was sleepy this morning, you're the only one I didn't see before I went out to perform my duties for Herr Commandant here.' He jerked a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his wife before pulling Lily in close again and dropping a fatherly kiss onto her cheek. 'Happy New Year sweetheart!' He pulled back from her slightly to look at her face. 'Did I say that last night? I can't remember if I saw you after midnight.'

'Well, there's a surprise.' Dorea's voice dripped sarcasm and almost everyone sat at the table tried and failed to suppress their grins. Pretty much all of them had seen Charlus' attempts to do the Hustle with Lenora Lovegood, so they were totally aware that he had been well and truly pissed; the absence of a hangover this morning was nothing short of a minor miracle.

'If you can't enjoy yourself at your own party, then what's the bloody point?' demanded Charlus indignantly. 'I can recall a few of _your_ indiscretions Dor, I'm sure everyone would be interested in the time you lost your skirt in...'

'Charlus Potter, unless you want to be transfigured into a poodle you will shut your mouth this instant!' Dorea's voice became slightly shrill towards the end of her sentence as she blurted it out in one long breath in an attempt to shut her husband up. Charlus closed his mouth and mimed locking it and throwing away the key, and with as much dignity as she could possibly muster, Dorea turned back to her cooking.

Charlus aimed a wink at his son, who was torn between being amused at his parents antics and being horrified at the display Lily was getting. She may have spent a bit of the summer with them, but they had both been at work a lot, and when they were home they were stressed or not in particularly good humour. She had never been subjected to the full force of Potter family banter, and he could only hope she wasn't too shocked by it.

Risking a glance in her direction, he saw a smile playing on the corner of her lips; it seemed she wasn't too put off by the obvious insanity in his genes.

'So what time are we expecting the Evanses this evening Dor?' Sirius asked affectionately. 'I think Lil's mum rather liked me, so I want to make sure I've got time to look my best.' He smirked at Lily who smiled sweetly back.

'I could always transfigure you into a horse; they're her favourite animal, and let's be honest they're much prettier than you.'

Remus let out a snort of laughter which earned him a smack on the back of the head from Sirius, whose plate promptly caught fire after a deft twitch of Remus' wand.

'Bloody hell!' Sirius attempted to pat the fire out with his hand to the general amusement of the rest of the table before Frank took pity on him and doused it with an aguamenti charm.

'Are you _sure _you're a wizard?' he asked, leaning his chair back on two legs, blue eyes twinkling while Alice had fits of giggles alongside him.

'All right you lot, eat your breakfast and sod off.' Dorea attempted to sound stern, but there was an unmistakable trace of suppressed laughter in her voice.

'Mum, I'm hurt. Anyone would think you don't want our company.' James spoke dramatically, clamping his hand to his heart as if in pain.

'I don't.' Dorea answered dryly. 'As you well know, I cook New Years Day dinner myself, _by hand_, and I do not need any of you wrecking the house because you're unsupervised while I'm in here, so you can all go get some fresh air.'

'What do you mean unsupervised?' Charlus sounded outraged. 'What am I, chopped liver?'

'When it comes to keeping an eye on this lot, you're as useful as a chocolate teapot.' Dorea stated calmly. '_Lily_ would do far better at keeping control of them than you. And you're going out as well; I'm not having you under my feet.'

'Well, where in the name of Merlin's pants am I supposed to be going since you're kicking me out of the house?' asked Charlus grumpily, ignoring the sniggers coming from both James and Sirius.

Dorea turned to smile at him. 'Well, last night you promised to go over to the Casterson's to listen to the Cannons versus the Wasps, so you'd better be going over there hadn't you?'

Charlus grimaced. 'I promised that? Bloody hell, that firewhiskey must have been stronger than I thought.'

'Well it definitely had an effect on Lily's decision making.' Marlene muttered under her breath; Lily choked on her juice and James aimed a kick at Marlene under the table, missed entirely and ended up kicking Frank's chair over backwards. Frank knocked his breakfast into Alice's lap as he fell, she screeched as her skirt was plastered in ketchup and her wildly waving arms knocked over a teapot which began to empty its contents over the white tablecloth.

At that point Dorea lost her temper entirely and chased every last one of them from the kitchen, issuing dire threats about what would happen should they return without being specifically summoned by her.

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'Who's playing?' Sirius fell into step alongside James who was wandering along the path, idly tossing a quaffle into the air then catching it as it fell, using only his left hand. He'd had to jog a few steps to catch up with his best mate who had completely failed to hear him shouting from the broom store. He shifted the bundle of broomsticks under his arm, cursing under his breath as one jabbed him in the ribs.

'Not sure.' James answered, not taking his eyes from the spinning quaffle as he walked. 'Me and you, Marls and Pete I think. Remus is feeling a bit off-colour and Alice and Frank already left for his mum's. They said to say goodbye.'

'You missed someone out.' Sirius aimed a sideways glance at his obviously distracted friend, who snatched the quaffle from mid-air and turned his head to look at him. 'Your Lily-flower not interested?'

James laughed and tucked the quaffle under his arm. 'Doubtful. Lily likes Quidditch, but I'm pretty sure she only likes to watch it. She's getting better at flying, but I can't imagine she'd like the…aggression. She flies to relax. Says it's soothing to be in that much open space.'

Sirius looked at the foolish grin that appeared on James' face as he thought about Lily and rolled his eyes in – mostly – mock exasperation. 'How can you _possibly_ understand her so well in such a short period of time? Marls is still a complete mystery to me.'

'Intensive study Padfoot. _Very_ intensive study.'

'Is that what you call it?' Muttered Sirius under his breath and James grinned at him.

'Makes you wonder what my grades would be like if I gave school that much focus, huh?'

'Why don't you try it?' Sirius gave a short laugh. It always reminded James of his bark in his other form. 'If nothing else, it would give McGonagall the shock of her life.'

'Nah. Not worth putting that much effort into something you're not that bothered about.' James had his other hand tucked in his pocket where he was absent-mindedly rolling his wand between thumb and forefinger. Sirius looked at him and phrased his next sentence carefully, well aware of his best mate's tendency to hex first, think later.

'Was _she_ worth the effort?' He raised his free hand to deflect any anger as James' head snapped round and his eyes narrowed. 'Don't kill me, I'm just interested. I mean, you spent so long chasing her, built her up so much in your mind, I'm just wondering if, in the end, it was worth all the jinxes she hit you with, all the rude names she called you.' He tucked his hand in his pocket and waited for an answer from the boy who had become his brother.

'Was Lils worth it?' James' eyes turned away from Sirius and stared off into the distance for a moment, and Sirius knew he was mentally reliving all the fights and curses and rows that had characterised his relationship with Lily for so long. When he turned his head back to make eye contact with his best friend there wasn't even the shadow of a doubt skulking in his eyes. 'Worth every second.'

'Huh.' Sirius was quiet for a few moments, pondering the implications of James' words and wondering how anyone could be that certain of anything, and the two of them continued to walk towards the open field on the grounds that they used as a makeshift Quidditch pitch. He caught sight of the rest of their friends gathered in a group waiting for them and Lily's flaming red hair caught the light and shone as she stood up and pounced on Marlene, tickling the blonde mercilessly. He couldn't help but smile at the cheerfulness of the scene; every now and then it was nice to be reminded that some things were just incredibly _right_ with the world, especially when sometimes it felt like things were so very _wrong_ and ready to collapse around your ears at any point, like the life you'd built was based on shaky foundations, ready to crumble if tested. When your world was tearing itself apart, dividing along arbitrary lines, pitting your adoptive family against your blood. When your relatives were probably responsible for the murder of your girlfriend's family.

Refusing to allow his thoughts to dwell on such morbid thoughts – grimmer days might be on the cards for the future, but they weren't here yet - he started to speak again, another curiosity rising to the forefront of his mind.

'So. You weren't in your room last night.'

'What?' James stopped dead in his tracks, his fist tightening on his wand, the quaffle dropping from under his arm as he lost his grip entirely. 'What are you on about?'

'I went into your room to get an anti-vomiting draught last night, and you weren't there and your bed was still made. So, I put two and two together, came up with you shagging Lily, and now I'm curious about how close to the mark I was. But I think the fact that your neck and ears have turned bright red tells me it was a bulls-eye.'

James stooped to pick up the quaffle, and to give himself a moment to consider the best course of action to take. He straightened back up and turned to Sirius with a resigned sigh. 'Is there anything I can say or do to stop you from winding her up about this?'

'Nope.' Sirius reached out and clapped his best mate on the shoulder. 'Because I have no intention of even mentioning it to her. Just wanted to know what's going on with you.'

James stood still for a moment, completely shocked and then he shook his head and laughed at his best friend. 'You just had to be a total arse to me though didn't you? Honestly, I reckon you like Lils better than me these days.'

'Well, she's prettier, smarter and she smells better. What's not to prefer?' Sirius smirked at James' quick snort of laughter and then his face became more serious. 'Really though mate, there's something I actually wanted to talk to you about. You know, seriously.'

James quirked an eyebrow, inviting him to continue, so Sirius carried on, trying to tell himself that it didn't count as prying if you were doing it because you _cared_. 'I know you two have been keeping things under wraps, and I get that, our Tiger-Lily likes her privacy. But a lot of people saw you two at the party last night, and a fair number of them have kids at Hogwarts. There's going to be plenty of gossip when you get back, and you might want to talk about what you want to do about that _before _school starts up again. You don't want her to be blindsided, because I don't know how well she'd handle that.'

Sirius kept his eyes fixed on James during this little speech; he wanted to be sure that James was hearing what he was trying to tell him. He'd put far too much time and effort into banging their heads together – metaphorically speaking of course – to watch them fall apart because of minor, easy-to-overcome difficulties. James' eyes stared past him, over to where Lily was sitting, laughing with Peter as he conjured butterflies to circle round her head. 'I get it. Thanks Padfoot.'

'Anytime.'

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'Want to take a walk Remus?'

Remus opened his eyes to see Lily standing over him, her figure blocking the harsh winter sunlight from his eyes. Behind her he could see the outlines of their friends as they played and his overly-sensitive hearing could make out every word they called to each other. He sat up and gave Lily an affectionate smile.

'Sure.'

She stretched down a hand to pull him up, and he took it, more grateful to her than he could ever properly express for such a simple gesture. Even now he found it difficult to comprehend how long Lily had faithfully kept his secret without so much as mentioning it, and he felt an enormous surge of warmth towards her as he remembered her unfaltering friendship despite her knowledge of his...condition. He brushed himself off as he stood and he gestured for her to lead the way. When she looked around, clearly at a bit of a loss, he smiled gently at her. Even when you were fairly used to it, Potter Manor could still be a little intimidating.

'Dorea's favourite garden is this way.' He offered her his arm and when she took it he led her along a path that curved back towards the rear of the house, away from the rowdy improvised game of Quidditch which was temporarily stopped while Marlene accused Sirius of cheating. Her knowledge of swear words really was quite wide-ranging.

Lily leaned into him as they walked and Remus glanced down at her, observing the slight smile playing continually across her features; the happy upward curve at the corner of her lips, the little crinkle at the corner of her eyes. He'd rarely seen her more cheerful than today.

'Someone seems happy.' He commented, reaching his free hand over to squeeze the one she had looped through his arm.

'I am.' She had to tilt her head back to make eye contact with him; she was used to craning to look at James by now, but Remus was even taller. He didn't have James' build though; he was tall and lean, verging on skinny when the full moon was near. The thought made her smile waver just for a second. 'Aren't you going to ask me why?'

'No.' Succinct as usual. Remus never was one to waste words.

'Really? I think everyone else has asked me today, directly or indirectly. Not even a flicker of curiosity there Remus?' Lily teased him gently, and he felt his lips twitch slightly.

'I don't care why my friends are happy Lil, only that they are.' He gave up on trying to keep a straight face and let his smile grow. 'I could hazard a few – probably quite accurate - guesses as to what has put such a grin on your face, but why would I? You're happy and that's what matters.'

Lily rested her head back against his arm. 'You might just be the best man I know Remus. And that's saying a lot, since I know James.'

Remus smile grew even wider. 'Never thought I'd hear the day Lily Evans would be saying that.'

'I know. It's still pretty shocking to me sometimes.' Lily let a giggle break out as they strolled along the garden path in the cold of the January sunshine. 'If my fourth or fifth year self could see me now!'

Remus laughed along with her for a minute and then they both fell silent for a few moments, remembering the days when Lily Evans and James Potter did nothing but fight and argue and hex. It seemed obvious to both of them now that there had always been more than just anger and resentment and antagonism behind those adolescent rows, if Lily had only been willing to admit it. Neither of them had ever directed similar levels of frustration or passion towards anyone else no matter what the provocation and James, it seemed, had been right all along – Lily was fighting a lost cause. The reality of it was, despite Severus, despite _everything_, she'd given in to James a long time ago, and everything that had come since had been the actions of a nervous and confused girl trying desperately to fight a battle she'd already lost, and trying to pretend to herself that she could win.

She spoke again, softly now, as her mind whirled through the memories, all the moments that she'd lived through that had led her to the truth of the matter – that James Potter had her, heart, body and soul, whether either of them knew it or not. Some of the memories were good, some bad, but all led here, towards James and whatever came next.

'Honestly though, I feel guilty now about the hard time I used to give all four of you. Well, you less than the others. But still, it took me a long time to realise what good people all of you are and I guess I'm the one that missed out in the end. I could have had so much more time with James, with all of you if I'd just been a bit less rigid.'

'Oh, I think we gave you plenty of reason.' Remus mused. 'And you were right about a lot of things. We all had a bit of growing up to do. Just think how unbearable fifth-year James would have been if you'd actually gone out with him!' Remus pulled a face. 'I don't think you'd have put up with him for long.'

'Maybe you're right. Maybe each of us had to become the people we were supposed to be first.' Lily reached a hand out to touch the beautiful crimson flowers of a shrub they were passing, and Remus paused for a moment to pick one for her.

'That's a little introspective for a day like today, don't you think?' He offered her the flower and she took it with a smile, wondering again why Remus didn't have a girlfriend when he was so naturally good at this kind of casual gesture that would make most girls melt. He was so much like James in that respect - affection was easy for them.

'You're probably right.' She tucked her arm back round his, twirling her flower between her fingers. 'You know, this is almost the exact colour of Julia's dress last night.' She peeked up at him from under her eyelashes, trying to observe without being observed. There was a very faint hint of colour in his cheeks and, suspicions rising, Lily continued.

'It was good to see her. I know you've been spending a lot of time with her, but I don't get to talk with her very often. She's nice. Funny.'

'She is. She's funny, she's clever, she's beautiful.' Remus answered quietly, careful not to look at Lily as he spoke. He knew where she was going with this, and he also knew she wouldn't outright ask, nor would she try to manipulate or force answers. Something in him wanted to purge though, so he continued speaking.

'She's lovely. I'm a werewolf.' Saying it was oddly cathartic; there was a strange sense of relief in knowing that you'd spoken your troubles out loud to a sympathetic soul.

Lily pulled away from him slightly and tilted her head back to look at him. She could see the mixture of shame and sorrow on his face and her heart ached for him, one of James' oldest and truest friends, one of the kindest, nicest people she'd ever known. 'I fail to see how those two statements connect Remus.'

'Come on Lily. You know, and I know, that I can't get involved with someone no matter how much I'd like to. It's not fair to lie to somebody all the time, and I can't risk the truth.'

'Maybe you can. Didn't you tell James to take that risk with me?' Lily stopped walking and tugged Remus' arm so he stopped with her. They stood on the path facing each other, Remus looking at a point somewhere above Lily's head and keeping his face carefully neutral, his arms folding themselves in a defensive gesture used so often it had become automatic.

'I did.' Remus's shoulders sagged slightly as he lowered his gaze to meet hers and some of the resistance and hard-edged defensiveness he'd used as a shield for so long left him. 'But Lily, that was a far more calculated risk. I'd known you for so long I had a much better handle on how you'd respond. This...this would be a big risk.'

'Look, Remus.' Lily reached out a hand and placed it gently on his folded arms. 'I'm not saying you should just blurt it out to Julia next time you see her. I'm saying you shouldn't close yourself off to possibilities, because that's what I did for a long time.' She squeezed his arm gently. 'Just give yourself a chance. Go on a date. It's not quite the major issue you imagine it to be.'

She dropped her hand from his arms, then stood up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek, laughing slightly at the look of shock that passed over his face as his arms uncrossed and fell to his sides. 'See where it takes you, and make the decision when you have to, don't agonise so much now that you never give yourself a chance to be happy.'

She linked her arm through his and pulled him forwards again, happy that she'd at least gotten an opportunity to try to get through to him, even if it made no difference at all.

Remus allowed her to tug him into moving again, mulling over her words. As they circled back towards the ad hoc Quidditch pitch and the others came into view, he thought that it had been nice to hear that she had such a positive outlook on things these days, even though it didn't change anything. Not for him anyway.

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It was nice, thought Lily, to see her parents in her world again for a little while. She'd never really felt that they'd properly understood the differences between the magical and muggle worlds, and Petunia's presence had usually been enough to discourage any discussion or demonstration. She felt a surge of gratitude and affection towards James' parents for giving her this time with them, this opportunity to make them truly understand what she was.

'Lily sweetheart, want to give me the tour?'

Lily smiled at her mother across the parlour. 'I'm not sure I'm qualified mum, I still get lost. Wouldn't have a clue about the finer detail. Want me to ask James to take you around?'

'I've got a better idea.' James' deep voice came from behind her, and his hand placed itself gently on the small of her back. 'The three of us can go together. Then you can draw yourself a map Lil, might help with that directional problem.'

'Or you could make me one. You're good at maps.' Lily turned her head to one side so she could aim a smirk at him over her shoulder, watching him smile at their Marauder-based inside joke.

'I thought we'd agreed I was good at everything?' James planted a kiss on her angled cheek before looking back at her mother, offering her the full force of his smile. 'What do you say Mrs Evans? Would you like an expert tour guide to show your lovely self around?'

'Absolutely. And it's _Rose_, James, how many times?' Rose smiled and nodded approvingly as James held open the door and gestured for her and Lily to go first. As Rose left the room and Lily drew level with him she stopped and grabbed the front of his shirt.

'What _is_ it with you and women? That's my _mother_, so stop flirting!' She hissed under her breath.

James released his shirt from her fist and straightened it up. 'First of all; that, my love, is innate charm and magnetism. Secondly, I'm not_ flirting_, I'm merely being a gentleman. Got to win your mum over after all.'

James smiled at Lily's speechless rage and waved her through the door, pinching her backside as she went through and causing her to jump and squeal.

'Gentleman my arse.' She whispered furiously.

'And a fantastic one it is too.' James replied, completely unconcerned. 'Rose, did you know that Potter Manor is over four hundred years old?' And with that he went to offer his arm to Lily's mother and proceeded to embark on a charm offensive that included flattery, obsequiousness and general sycophancy to Lily's mind.

Half an hour later they'd done a loop of the main areas of the house, complete with numerous anecdotes of James' childhood, and Lily had concluded that her mother was officially in love. Really it was sickening; the way she laughed at every joke he spouted, the way she patted his arm when he told a soppy story. It shouldn't be possible for one man to charm his way through life with such ease.

As they approached the dining room where the others were gathering for dinner, Rose relinquished her grip on James and linked her arm through Lily's instead. 'Come with me darling, I need to powder my nose.'

Lily allowed herself to be dragged to one of the downstairs bathrooms and took the opportunity to use the full length mirror to straighten her dress. Her mother carefully re-applied lipstick and studied her daughter in the mirror before turning to look at her directly.

'Lily?'

'Yes mum?' Lily turned to face her, and Rose Evans felt a little burst of pleasure as she looked at her daughter, smiling and happy, at ease in her world. Still, there was a sting to that, knowing that her world was separate from theirs and always would be; it helped to know that she wasn't alone in it.

'I'm glad you have such good friends. I know it's been hard on you, that you feel isolated from us sometimes. I'm sorry for that.' She stepped towards her daughter and pulled her into a hug. 'But we love you sweetie, and we will always be here if you need us or want us.' She stepped back and held Lily at arm's length, studying her as if memorising every detail.

'Mum, are you okay?' Lily voice was concerned as she took in the slightly erratic behaviour of her mother.

'I'm fine.' Rose patted Lily's arm soothingly. 'I just can't believe how grown-up you are sometimes. It passes me by a little when you're away at school. And I know that you are going to be out of school soon, and I don't know what your plans are, but I know you aren't coming back to our world. And I'll miss you sweetie, but after the last two days I feel so much better knowing you have these people with you when I'm not there.'

'Mum.' Lily grabbed her mother's hands in hers and squeezed them hard. 'It's not like I'm going to cut you out of my life.'

'I know. I just won't be as much of a part of it anymore. And that's right, that's how it should be, but I'm so relieved that you'll have people to take care of you.'

Lily smiled and fought back the threat of tears, which was _completely_ ridiculous, and she absolutely blamed James Potter for the upsurge in sentimentality she'd been experiencing today. Him and his bloody feelings.

Rose sniffed a little and gave a slightly teary-eyed smile. 'And thinking along that line…marry that boy.'

'Excuse me?' Lily dropped her mother's hands out of sheer shock.

'I mean it Lily. He'll always look after you. And frankly, either you marry him, or I adopt him because I'm determined to keep him.' Rose patted her daughter's cheek fondly and swept out, leaving her shell-shocked. She recovered herself and stumbled out into the hallway just in time to collide with Peter who grabbed her arm to steady her.

'Whoa. Alright there Lily?'

'Fine. Fine. I'm fine.' Lily blinked several times before she focused on Peter properly. 'Actually I'm not. My mother is certifiable.'

'You should try mine.' He laughed loudly, then sobered as he took in her face. 'Sorry. Er…should I ask what's happened or would that be prying?'

That got a smile from Lily. 'My mother just told me to marry James.'

'Well, I don't know why you think that makes her mad.** I** think you should marry James. We **all **think you should marry James. And I'd just like to say that I'd make a much better best man than Sirius, because I've heard his speech, and it's _dreadful_.'

'He's written a speech?' Lily's voice sounded weak, and she was sure her legs were buckling. She was sure her system just wasn't up to too many more of these shocks.

'You know Padfoot, he's an enthusiast.' Peter took note of Lily's paling face and began to drag her towards the dining room. 'Come on, you look like you need to sit down.'

Lily allowed herself to be gently tugged along the hallway. As she listened to Peter amusedly outlining the basic gist of Sirius' potential best man speech, she felt a stirring of curiosity; it was obviously her day to be nosy. 'How's _your_ love life Pete?'

He shot her an amused look over his shoulder. 'Just rosy thanks. I prefer a quieter, less dramatic approach than my friends seem to favour. And a much more casual one. I'm going to meet Chrissie in Diagon Alley for a date tomorrow.'

'Chrissie?' Lily had to think for a moment before she could recognise the name. 'Christina Wellbeck? From Hufflepuff?'

'That's the one. Do me a favour and keep it to yourself, I really don't need any more advice from Pads. Or James for that matter. One's a deviant and the other's a hopeless romantic.' He grinned at her. 'But I'm sure you appreciate his tendency for overblown gestures. Nice bracelet.' He nodded towards the charm bracelet which was still on her wrist, smirking at the blush that spread. At least there was a bit of colour back in her face.

They reached the dining room door and he held it open for her. She walked into the room, and felt whatever nerves had been bouncing in her stomach settle at the sight of James and Sirius using the cruet to illustrate the rules of Quidditch to her dad, Dorea demonstrating household spells for her mother and Remus and Marlene laughing over some shared joke.

It may have been a strange sort of family, but under the looming threat of war, it was good to know you had one. Some things were worth fighting to keep.

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**********A/N: I guess there were two main points I was going for here:**

**********First - Its quite a complicated set of relationships, but I wanted to establish how close knit this group are all becoming and how much trust there is. Obviously it wasn't practical to cover every character here (how huge a chapter would that be?) and I wanted to keep the main Jily focus too, so you can expect some focus on the other characters and relationships later. **

**********Second - I wanted to show that even though they are technically adults, and they _are_ worried about the war, about their safety and about their family and friends, they're still _teenagers_. They also worry about parents and exams and school gossip. They are being forced to grow up far too fast, and they pretty much all have way too much to deal with. Their emotional stability is a little bit fragile.**

**********Sooo, it turned out to be a lot more rambling than I originally thought, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Next chapter will have intrigue, plots and a nasty Slytherin or two. **

**********Leave me a review and you will make my list of favourite people of all time. Who wouldn't want to be on a list that includes JK Rowling and Ryan Gosling?**


	26. Chapter 26 - Problems

******A/N: Thank you all again for your reviews, as always reading them made my world happier. My list of favourite people is now a lot longer, but don't worry guys, it's still _very_ exclusive.  
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******Somebody asked me how much longer this story has to run, and I thought I'd answer here in case anyone else was wondering; I originally planned for it to cover the whole of seventh year up until they left Hogwarts, and I think that's probably still going to be the case. However, I love the characters so much that I may write a sequel that runs right up to Harry being born - I don't think I can bring myself to write their deaths :(  
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******If you have time to leave a review or something to let me know if you would be interested in reading a sequel, please do so! I have a couple of other ideas for fics that I might get out of my head first (I like to write one at a time if I can), but I'll always come back to Jily and it might be nice to try a post-Hogwarts story.  
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******Anyway, enough of my long-winded rambling: new chapter! We've done enough frolicking through romance-happy-land for now, it's back to the plot. Yes, there's a plot - I just get carried away by Jily sometimes. No wonder this story is longer than I thought it would be.  
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The smoke spewing from the Hogwarts Express smothered the platform, making it impossible to see further than a few feet away. Students, family members and pets milled around alongside the train, getting in each other's way and generally causing chaos, and the occasional flash of coloured light through the smoke suggested that not all students were taking the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery very seriously. The day was cold and dreary and the sky had been threatening more snow all morning, but despite the chill the atmosphere on the platform was cheerful as students greeted each other after the Christmas break, comparing presents and exchanging stories.

'How did I get stuck with both our trunks?' demanded Sirius as he lugged them along, battering his way through the crowds as he followed Marlene's swinging blonde hair and bright red coat down the platform. She was sliding easily through the crush of bodies, her agile, seeker-trained form neatly sidestepping any obstacles in her path as she searched for familiar faces, her booted feet practically skipping as she moved lightly along.

'I think a better question would be: why are you moving them by hand?' she asked sweetly, throwing him a mischievous wink over one shoulder while stepping around two third years wrestling a large orange-coloured cat into a basket without so much as breaking pace. Sirius stopped dead and stared down at his hands, each of which was firmly grasping a trunk handle.

'Well…bollocks.' He dropped both cases with a thud and pushed his dark hair out of his grey eyes before pulling his wand from the pocket of his long navy coat. One quick swish and flick had the trunks levitating along behind him as he hurried to catch up with Marlene, who had joined Frank and Alice where they were standing near the front of the train. He boarded the train long enough to scare a couple of second years out of his preferred compartment, and to offload both trunks into it, before heading back out to join his friends on the platform.

'Got a compartment.' He grinned at Frank, who rolled his eyes, presumably well-aware of Sirius' approach to guaranteeing a compartment by now.

'So, been a few days since we saw you - how did the "meet-the-parents" visiting go?' asked Sirius, grin still in place as he observed Alice's face set itself into a slightly annoyed expression as her foot started tapping in response to his question.

'Alice was just filling me in about that.' Marlene smiled at her friend. 'Your parents have met Frank before though haven't they?'

'Yeah, but at the time they weren't exactly sizing me up as boyfriend material were they?' Frank answered before Alice could, his expression slightly aggrieved. 'It wasn't _official_. Anyway, Alice thinks I got off lightly.'

'He did.' Alice spoke in extremely grouchy tones that were unusual for someone with such a naturally cheerful disposition. 'My parents already know him _and _his family, and they obviously liked him. _His mother_ on the other hand...'

'Likes you as much as she would like anybody who was dating me.' Frank interrupted before Alice could get any momentum going; good-natured as she generally was, Alice had a very piercing voice if you let her build up to an outburst and her temper was famous for being downright evil if you provoked it enough. 'She's just worried that you're going to distract me from my studies and stop me from becoming a world-famous auror.' He grinned at her as he poked at her sides and stomach; she slapped his hands repeatedly until he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her in close for a hug.

'Anyway' he mumbled into her hair 'she doesn't have to like you. **I** like you.'

'Gross.' commented Marlene, her lip twisting into a slight grimace of disgust at the display of affection.

'I think he's been spending too much time around James.' replied Sirius, his arm snaking around Marlene's waist.

'Speaking of James, what's with that?' Frank released an arm from Alice long enough to gesture towards Lily and James who had arrived unnoticed at some point, along with Peter. The three of them were talking quietly together just a few yards away, paying no attention to anything but their own conversation.

'What?' Sirius looked at his best mate who was smiling at Peter as he explained something with dramatic arm gestures, Lily standing next to him with her head thrown back as she laughed. It all looked pretty normal to him.

'That's the furthest apart they've been in days. I can't remember the last time I saw them together and they _weren't_ touching.'

Alice frowned along with Frank. 'They don't look like they're fighting though. They're just a bit distant.'

'Oh that.' Marlene shook her head. 'They're being _prudent _apparently; trying to keep the gossip to a minimum until they decide it's a good time to go public.' James' hand reached out and brushed over Lily's upper arm briefly, and she smiled at him faintly, a light blush spreading over her cheeks that was visible even from where they stood. 'As you can see, they're not very good at it.'

'Don't know why they're bothering.' Sirius wrapped his arms around Marlene's waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, eyes narrowed as he observed the couple. 'Everyone gossips about them anyway, may as well give them something to _really _gossip about. Who cares what they think?'

'That approach may work for you Sirius, but Lily has always hated people speculating about her and she's more insecure than she'll ever admit. She feels judged, constantly. People talk about her blood-status, her looks, her grades, her Head-Girl position.' Alice leaned into Frank's shoulder. 'She just wants to keep one little bit of her life to herself.'

'I get that. But people are going to talk about her and James anyway. Maybe it would be easier to just openly admit to it; if nothing else, the gossip might be more accurate.' Frank mused, nuzzling at Alice's hair as he spoke.

'It's not just about the gossip; let's face it, there is never going to be a "good time" to go public because there will never be a point where those two aren't going to be of interest to the population of Hogwarts. It's more than that.' Marlene spoke quietly, and it was all the more effective for it. Three heads turned towards her curiously and she bit her lip and looked upwards while she considered her words carefully. When she spoke, it was slow and deliberate.

'This is between us okay? No running off to tell your idiot of a best mate.' She elbowed Sirius in the ribs and he feigned a hurt look. Taking in her sober expression, he mimed zipping his mouth closed and raised an eyebrow expectantly. Marlene pursed her lips as she scrutinised his face and must have seen sincerity in his steady gaze because she continued speaking.

'She's scared. We're all pure-blood, and we may have to deal with the "blood-traitor" thing, but we've _never_ had to deal with the kind of insults and abuse Lily takes sometimes, and we have no idea what it's like. She's afraid that if James is with her openly, he'll come in for the same kind of abuse, the same kind of targeting. She'd never admit it, but she's terrified he'll be hurt because of her, or that it will all become such a strain on them that they go back to fighting all the time.'

Sirius whistled, a low-pitched burst of sound. 'So hang on; James has no idea she feels like this?'

'Wouldn't think so, unless he's that good at reading her.' Marlene answered. 'She's never actually _told_ me in so many words; I just know what she's like about this stuff. I doubt she can even admit it to herself, let alone anyone else; she'd see it as being weak.'

'That is…well, it's fucked up, is what it is.' Sirius answered, a grim expression settling on his face. 'Prongs may not say it, but I can tell that he doesn't appreciate this discretion thing. I mean, he'll do it because, hey its _Lily_ and what she wants, she gets, but you know him. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he's going to act like her boyfriend whether they're admitting it or not; not to mention he'd be royally pissed if he thought she was worrying about him. I give it two weeks before he's announced it to the school somehow, deliberately or not.'

Frank turned his head so his cheek rested directly on the top of Alice's head and his eyes looked straight at Sirius. 'Ten galleons he doesn't even make it one week.'

'Sucker bet.' Alice laughed as she watched James snatch his hand away from the small of Lily's back, as if it had taken him by surprise that it had ended up there.

'I'll take it.' Said Sirius. 'Prongs has got_ some_ impulse control. Just not a lot.'

Frank stretched out his right hand and Sirius shook it. Marlene shook her head in exasperation. 'If they find out you're betting on them…' she trailed off, the warning implicit in her tone.

'Not like it's the first time.' said Sirius lightly, no trace of shame in his voice; Frank at least had the grace to look a little sheepish as Alice pulled back to stare at him incredulously. Marlene rolled her eyes and headed for the train, muttering under her breath about the varying stupidity of her friends.

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'What does Remus want anyway? I mean, a meeting on the first day back? And he was awfully agitated on the train, and he didn't turn up for dinner.' Lily desperately rooted through her wardrobe for her jumper, red hair falling around her face as she bent double to reach the very back of the shelves.

'I have no idea.' James' tone was amused as he scrutinised his girlfriend's figure as she leaned into the cupboard, pulling out and discarding clothes as she searched for the one item she wanted. Her hair was loose and it moved gently around her head as she leant forward, and it was taking quite a lot of self-control to keep from crossing the room so he could run his hands through it. 'I also don't know why you need a specific jumper to go to a meeting. Especially since it's in our common room.' He rested his elbow on the door frame and put his hand on the back of his head as he watched her, unable to keep the smile off his face.

'Don't be a git. It's my favourite jumper, I don't like not being able to find it.' Lily's words were muffled, but there was a hint of laughter to them that James loved; he lived to put that little bit of happiness in her voice.

'You could wear one of mine.' He offered, tilting his head to one side to better observe the curve of her hips. 'Then, after the meeting, I could take it off again.'

Before Lily could respond to his suggestion there was a loud bang from downstairs, which they both correctly identified as the door to their common room being slammed violently open, and then the voice of Sirius drifted up the stairs.

'You two better be fully clothed this time!'

'We were fully clothed _last_ time!' James bellowed back, his eyes never leaving Lily as she turned around, waving her grey jumper triumphantly before tripping over a discarded shoe that had hit the floor during her frenzied search. She caught herself before she fell, but ended up hopping a few paces on one foot before she could steady herself fully. He bit the inside of his cheek to hold back a laugh, and she sent him a mock frown when she saw his smirking face.

'Only just!' Marlene's voice came floating up, laughter echoing through her words. James rolled his eyes and held out his hand for Lily's. She finished pulling her jumper over her head and took his outstretched hand, and he took the opportunity to pull her close to him.

'We'll finish this discussion about appropriate clothing later Miss Evans.' He ran his lips from the corner of her mouth to her ear and murmured the words into it.

'I look forward to it.' She breathed in response and his mouth turned up into a grin before it landed firmly on hers.

They arrived in the common room moments later to find Marlene and Alice setting out snacks on the table; Sirius was laying along the couch, hands resting behind his head, legs fully outstretched. Lily took one look and sat on his feet; at least he'd thought of taking his shoes off.

'Anyone else would get a slap for that Tiger-Lily.' Sirius didn't even open his eyes as he spoke.

'How did you know it was me?' She sounded genuinely curious, and James saw Sirius' lips twitch as he held back a smile.

'You smell of coconut and vanilla. Trust me, Prongs has gone on about how fantastic you smell enough that we've _all _noticed it by now.'

Lily blushed furiously, much to the apparent amusement of Marlene and Alice, and Sirius was obviously encouraged by their laughter, because he continued.

'And that's not all we've been subjected to over the years you know; I've listened to _hours _of him waxing poetical about your abilities at charms, how you're so _pretty _when you're annoyed...'

'All right, if you're going to take the piss, I'm off to the kitchens for drinks. I'll be back before the meeting starts.' James headed out the door, letting it slam shut behind him and mentally cursing the day seven years ago that he'd first sat next to Sirius on the Hogwarts Express.

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Balancing several bottles of drinks in his grasp and trying to keep out of sight under his invisibility cloak, James swore under his breath as he heard the sound of voices heading towards him. If he hadn't had the drinks he might have been tempted to ditch the cloak and just brazen it out; he was Head Boy after all, and it was before curfew; no-one would question why he was wandering around the dungeons with absolutely no reason to be there. As it was, the fact that he was carrying enough drinks for more than twenty people might raise some eyebrows, so he figured it was best to place himself in an alcove and wait for whoever was coming to pass.

His grip on the bottles tightened slightly as he recognised the skinny frame of Severus Snape. He rounded the corner into the corridor where James was pressed into a niche in the wall and looked around; when he was satisfied the corridor was empty, he gestured to somebody out of James' eye-line.

The bulky figure of Graham Nott came around the corner, followed closely by a much shorter boy with dark hair and extremely familiar features. James drew in a sharp intake of breath as he recognised Sirius' brother.

'Well?' asked Snape, his eyes narrowed as he observed his fellow Slytherins.

'I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know.' Regulus replied nervously, his hands twitching nervously as he tried to avoid Snape's eye.

'You don't _know_.' Nott sneered. He gave Regulus a rough push, smirking as the smaller boy stumbled into the wall.

'That's enough.' Snape's voice was quiet, but full of an authority James hadn't expected. 'In case you'd forgotten, you and Avery didn't exactly cover yourselves in glory in Hogsmeade. We were unable to complete the plans because of your incompetence.'

Nott glowered at him, but kept his mouth shut. He held eye contact with Snape for a moment then looked away, the arrogance on his face unaffected by the rebuke. Snape looked briefly at Regulus and then waved a hand in Nott's direction. 'Go and wait around the corner.' Nott looked at him sharply, his outrage written on his face.

Snape huffed his displeasure and rolled his eyes. '_I said_: go and wait around the corner. Don't make me ask again.'

Nott remained still for a second, then turned sharply on his heel and headed back around the corner. Snape's eyes followed him until he was out of sight, then he turned back to Regulus, his face softening slightly as he looked at the younger boy.

'You need to decide. I thought this was what you wanted.'

'I did!' Regulus burst out. 'I mean, I do.' He looked down at his hands as they nervously twisted round each other. 'I just…I don't know, this seems so risky, right under Dumbledore's nose.'

'Under Dumbledore's nose is the point Regulus.' Snape spoke softly, but his tone was hard and unbending, a hint of steel underlining his every word. 'What did you think we were doing here? Did you think that attracting the Dark Lord's approval would be without risk?'

'I just… I thought…' Regulus trailed off and took a deep breath. 'It's different than I thought it would be.'

Snape looked at him appraisingly before nodding. 'Yes it is.' He said nothing else, just waited for Regulus to speak. His eyes darted left and right, and he licked his lips nervously before asking his question in a low tone that was little more than a whisper.

'Do you regret becoming…involved in this?'

Snape seemed to consider for a moment, his eyes staring off into space. He couldn't possibly have known that he was staring directly at James, who would have sworn at that moment that he could see just a flicker of remorse in his eyes before they iced over and snapped back to Regulus' face.

'No.' His tone gave no indication of the conflict James had seen in his eyes. Regulus folded his arms and closed his eyes.

'My brother…'

'Doesn't give a damn about you.' Snape interrupted, his face settling back into that familiar sneer that James knew so well. 'Him and Potter and the rest of them, they're all the same. They care about their looks and their groupies, nothing else. He doesn't worry about you, why should you worry about him?'

Regulus kept his eyes closed, his knuckles turning white as his hands gripped the sleeves of his robe at the elbows. 'Tell me again what you need me to do.'

Snape nodded his approval slowly. 'I'll need to check over the plan again…but your part should be simple enough. And it won't be for a while anyway.'

He began to walk back the way they had come, and he gestured for Regulus to come with him. 'There are other things you can work on in the meantime. Avery and Nott have some…interesting tricks to teach you. You'll find them worthwhile, and they'll make you extremely useful later on.'

Their voices disappeared as they rounded the corner out of view, but it took James a minute to come to his senses and start moving towards his room. His mind was racing as he ran through the conversation he'd overheard, trying to make sure he'd understood it accurately. Two things he was sure of: one, he was going to have to speak to Sirius privately before he let anyone else know, and two; it was going to be incredibly hard to keep him from trying to kill Snape when he did find out.

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Lily was worried; James had come back from the kitchens white as a sheet and had barely said a word since he'd arrived. He'd answered her whispered questions with short, one-word answers and had seemed oddly distant; he fidgeted constantly, his hands restlessly moving, running through his hair, drumming beats out on his knee. She'd even noticed Sirius giving her concerned glances, as obviously confused at the change in James' attitude and demeanour as she was.

The two of them were sat directly in front of the fire on the large rug, Sirius and Peter to their left and Emma to their right. James had been staring at the crackling flames for almost five minutes now, and nothing Lily said or did could divert his attention for more than a few seconds. She was sat so close to him that their legs were touching – she was all but in his lap – and he gave no indication that he'd even noticed her proximity, whereas in normal circumstances he would probably have brushed his hand over her hair repeatedly and made several lewd suggestions in her ear by now. Instead he just stared and fidgeted, seemingly unconscious of what he was doing. She felt panic rising in her throat as she wondered what in Agrippa's name could have happened to send him into this kind of melancholy stupor.

The quiet in their little corner did not extend to the rest of the room; the assembled teenagers were loud and boisterous and smatterings of laughter mingled with general chatter as everyone greeted each other after the holidays. Recognising that James was in no condition to take charge of the meeting as he usually did, and that she was totally useless thanks to her borderline panic attack over his sudden change of mood, Lily gestured frantically at Sirius, who got the point immediately and promptly stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled.

The noise died down quickly, and everyone settled down as Remus stood up and moved to the front of the room.

'Uh, thanks for coming guys.' He cleared his throat. 'I know it's the first day back and everything, but this is kind of important. At least, I think it is.'

He picked up a file from the sofa behind him and glanced once at Julia; she gave him an encouraging smile. None of this went unnoticed by Lily, who felt a small smile break out on her face, despite her unease over James' current behaviour.

'Ok.' He took a deep breath and began to talk. Lily registered again how compelling Remus could be when he was speaking about something he considered important; he became very invested in his topic and his vehemence was passed on to his audience. She had a fleeting thought that he ought to become a teacher, and resolved to discuss it with him at some point.

'We all saw the strange stuff that was happening last term; the fights in the corridors, the hexes no-one could recognise, the slogans on the walls. Add to that the inferi on the train, the dementors in Hogsmeade and the fact that we know the Death Eaters are recruiting from Hogwarts and it's worrying.'

He paused for a breath and looked to Julia, who seemed to sense he had become a little tongue-tied for the moment as she stood and moved over towards him before beginning to speak rather shyly.

'We thought, initially, that there were probably two separate reasons for what was happening. One: that creating an atmosphere of fear at Hogwarts would make it easier for the Death Eaters to recruit, since people would be afraid to turn them down, and two: that some of the Death-Eaters-in-training here were either getting their kicks, or practising their hexes – or both – on students.'

Lily hid a smile despite her rising anxieties; Julia was such an obvious Ravenclaw. She spoke in a clear, exact tone of voice and her points were made with precision, and just the right amount of force. No doubt a serious amount of research had gone into this and that – partially – explained all those hours she and Remus had been spending tucked away together in the library. Only partially though, and Lily was still determined to get to the bottom of that. Later.

The blonde ran a hand through her hair and continued to speak, a trace of nervousness creeping into both her voice and her posture. 'We still think those things are probably true, but we think there's a third reason for all this happening.' She blew out one long breath, as if she was mentally preparing for what she was about to say.

'We think they are trying to get Dumbledore fired.'

There was a moment of shocked silence, then an explosion of sound as everyone began talking at once. Lily was stunned into immobility, and she felt James' nervous fidgeting falter and stop as the impact of Julia's words sank in for them both. Despite the worry that she felt at the suggestion of Hogwarts without Dumbledore – absurd at the best of times, but _unthinkable_ in the current situation – she felt a small surge of relief that the news had at least provoked a reaction from James.

Surprisingly enough, Emma – pretty, bubbly, ditsy Emma - was the first to recover some semblance of sense, and she stood up and yelled for quiet. The noise in the room died down quickly as she glared round at everyone, arms folded and her displeasure clear on her face. 'I for one am interested in hearing how you two came up with this idea, so please continue with what you were going to say while we all _shut up and listen for five minutes_.' The last few words were delivered in a cutting tone that silenced even the most vocal of the people sat in front of her. Apparently satisfied with her work, she sat down with a bump, and Remus stepped forward again.

'I know it sounds mad. But it really makes a lot of sense when you stop looking at everything that's happened individually and put it all together.' He pushed a lock of sandy-blond hair out of his eyes and made eye contact with Lily, who nodded her approval for him to continue; James was paying attention now, and anything that encouraged him to focus was great as far as she was concerned.

'Okay, let's look at what's happened since the start of this year. Inferi attacking the train. We don't think that it was a serious attempt – numbers weren't enough to overwhelm us and we got away pretty lightly in terms of injuries. Dementors and Death Eaters in Hogsmeade; again, they could have done a lot more damage than they did. All the kids who've been cursed in the corridors, some really badly and by curses that are far worse than you'd expect a school kid to be able to inflict. None of these things separately seem like much, and they certainly didn't achieve anything by doing any of them, but taken together they make it seem like the school is out of control.'

Julia stepped forward again; she took the file from Remus and opened it, pulling out a sheaf of newspaper cuttings. 'And that's exactly what the Prophet has been reporting. Look at these headlines, and some of the things that are being reported.' She began to pass out the cuttings, reading some of them out loud as she did so.

**"Is Dumbledore Losing the Plot?"**

**"Another Attack at Hogwarts"**

**"Staff Powerless to Protect Students"**

**"Student's terrorised on the Hogwart's Express"**

**"Pupils Left Defenceless on Hogsmeade Visit"**

The articles were, if anything worse. Lily read through them with a sinking heart; she couldn't deny that Remus and Julia had a point. Every single one was critical of Dumbledore's stewardship of the school; some complained about his choice of teachers or prefects, others criticised his timetabling, his curriculum, his organisation of visits off school grounds.

There were articles relating to Dumbledore's other roles as well; his speeches to the Wizengamot as Chief Warlock were heavily disparaged and his proposals to the International Confederation of Wizards sneered at and dismissed. If she was just an observer in all this, if she only had the Prophet to inform her on what was going on, she'd probably have lost faith in Dumbledore by now; they'd made him sound like a raving lunatic.

Lily looked up at James, and couldn't help but feel a shocking jolt of relief when she realised that he was looking right back at her. His expression was slightly horrified, but he looked himself again; alert and perceptive. He reached for her hand tentatively and gave it a contrite squeeze, his eyes offering her an unspoken apology for his odd behaviour. Remembering his promise to always tell her things, she dug below her insecurities and reminded herself that she'd believed him then and she believed him now. When he was ready to talk about whatever it was, he would.

'So.' Remus' voice was quiet, but it was nonetheless heard by everyone in the room, and silence fell over the group more easily this time. He waited until everyone had settled down and the rustling of paper as people passed the clippings around died down before he spoke again.

'That's what we've been looking into. I mean, the inferi and the dementors, fair enough that's definitely newsworthy, but why are they going for this angle? Why aren't they questioning how the dementors ended up outside of ministry control, or attacking the auror department for not doing more to tackle the use of inferi? They're specifically targeting Dumbledore as a blame figure. And since when did they care about prefect appointment or timetabling problems, or internal discipline issues? This is character assassination, nothing else.'

'The thing is…' Julia spoke up, slowly but with increasing confidence in what she was saying 'what we initially couldn't figure out is what they were specifically trying to achieve. We know Voldemort considers Dumbledore a threat, so obviously he wants him out of any positions of power, and this is a pretty cunning way to go about that – undermine him. But we think there's another layer to this; getting him removed as Headmaster leaves the position open for them to fill it with a Death Eater, or at least someone under the Imperius. That puts the entire school directly under his control, for whatever purposes; I'm sure I don't have to draw you a picture.'

Grim expressions had settled on most of the faces in the room as the potential seriousness of what was being discussed really began to sink in.

'You might be right about this.' Frank's voice came from somewhere to Lily's right, but she couldn't see him from her position on the floor. She heard the creak of floorboards as he stood up and then he came into view as he moved towards Remus and handed back the stack of newspaper clippings. 'But it's probably worse than you've suggested.'

'How could it possibly be worse?' Mary sounded incredulous, but she leant forward in her armchair, making it clear she was interested in hearing the answer.

'If they can oust Dumbledore, they don't even _need _to fill the job with a Death Eater. They have Death Eaters, or at least wannabe ones who'll do the same job already here _anyway_; the people who are carrying out the curses and painting slogans on walls. Can you imagine what they'll be free to do if they're not looking over their shoulder for Dumbledore all the time? No matter who they appointed, no-one else could do a better job. Imagine the things that have happened this year, but ten times worse and ten times more often.' Lily didn't think she'd ever heard Frank sound so grim; there was no trace of his usual cheerfulness in his voice.

'And that would make Hogwarts an even better recruiting ground.' Alice chipped in now, her voice steady and firm, but with a definite hint of uneasiness to it. 'No-one to run to if they come and ask you. Nothing to stop them doing whatever they want to you if you say no.'

'Continuing in that vein' Peter spoke up from beside Lily 'they don't even need to get rid of Dumbledore. If they can get enough parents to think he's gone barmy they'll start withdrawing their kids anyway, and then they'll be at home and twice as vulnerable because they aren't _here_.'

A gloomy silence fell amongst the group; apparently no-one could think of anything further to add to the discussion. Or perhaps, Lily thought, they just didn't want to depress themselves any further. Feeling James' hand holding onto hers and his knee bumping against her leg, she found herself feeling more optimistic about the situation than she had any right to, but it still worried her, and the concerns raised tonight were going to cast long shadows over the coming term. It was left to Sirius to sum up the general mood of the room, in his usual succinct style.

'Happy fucking New Year everyone.'

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The meeting had long since broken up and the majority of people had gone their separate ways; the few of them who were left were sat in small groups talking quietly. James had been chatting to Emma and Mary about some of their relatives in other houses who had some concerns of their own, but noticing that Sirius had moved away from Marlene and was now standing by himself near the fire, he excused himself and moved towards his best mate.

'Padfoot?' Sirius' head jerked up from watching the flames and his eyes were strangely unfocused for a moment before they sharpened up and honed in on James. His worry must have been obvious on his face because Sirius narrowed his eyes and a slight frown settled onto his handsome features.

'Something wrong Prongs?'

James bit his lip, then snorted quietly as he realised what he'd done; must have picked up that particular nervous habit from Lily. 'I'm not sure mate. I need to tell you something, but I don't want to make it sound worse than it is, and I want you promise me you're going to let me explain properly before you over-react.'

'Is this to do with your weird behaviour earlier on? You freaked Lily out totally you know, I was getting some right panicked looks thrown my way.' Sirius looked round the room until he saw her and he quickly gestured for her to join them. She abandoned her conversation with Peter and Frank and headed their way.

'I was going to tell you first, let you decide if you wanted to let other people know.' James knew he sounded slightly irritated at the way this was going, and he was. He was trying so damn hard to be everything that everyone wanted him to be, and he felt like he was always getting it wrong, always misjudging situations. He used to be so good at deciding on the right course of action; when did everything get so complicated?

Sirius snorted. 'Like you aren't going to tell our little Tiger-Lily anyway.'

James squirmed, a little uncomfortable at feeling that he was once again being torn in two directions by his differing loyalties to his best mate and his girlfriend. 'Well, yeah, but I'd have cleared it with you first. If you wanted me to keep it to myself for a while, I would. You know my confidence is a given.'

'Yeah, but save your breath and say it once.' Lily arrived and Sirius threw an arm round her shoulders. 'Here she is, the love of my life!' he announced dramatically. Lily rolled her eyes at him, but put her arm round his waist affectionately as she looked at him questioningly. 'Prongs is about to tell us why he was acting like such a sodding nutter earlier on.'

James blew out an exasperated breath, looking at the ceiling for a moment in an attempt to control his temper. He lowered his eyes and he met Lily's concerned gaze. He smiled to let her know that he wasn't annoyed at _her_ then began speaking carefully.

'When I was on my way back from the kitchens I came across Snape and Nott; I was under the cloak, so obviously they have no idea they were overheard. They were discussing some "plans" that they have; they were talking about attracting the approval of the Dark Lord. We all know who that's got to be right?' Sirius and Lily nodded, and James couldn't help but notice that she had paled slightly. He reached for her free hand and held it firmly in one of his; having your suspicions about someone was one thing, but to have something so unpleasant confirmed for you had to be unsettling.

'They were saying that the whole point was to carry out the plans under Dumbledore's nose; I think Remus is definitely onto something.' James paused, aware he was giving them a rather abridged version of events, but unwilling to venture his personal interpretation of Snape's mental state.

'Not sure why you felt the need to discuss this with me separately mate.' Sirius seemed a little confused. 'We probably need to let the others know; Remus at least since it lends a bit more weight to his theory.'

'I know, and I will.' James collected his thoughts and plunged on; this was going to be the difficult bit. He settled on the blunt approach. 'I just wasn't sure whether to tell everybody that your brother was with them.'

Sirius' face went blank. 'Reg?' Lily tightened her grip on his waist in compassion. 'Reg was with that pair of gits?'

'They were pushing him to make a decision; make up his mind about what he wanted. They didn't say it outright, but…I think we all know what they want from him.' James trailed off, knowing there was nothing else he could say that could make this any better.

'They want him to be a fucking Death Eater.' Sirius' voice was more bitter than James had ever heard it before. 'My mother will be so _proud_. Never mind that the bloody idiot will probably end up dead! He's such a moron!' He turned and pulled out of Lily's grasp, kicking the nearest chair as he moved. He stood still for a moment, facing the wall with one hand fisted in his hair. He suddenly turned and walked past them both, heading for the door. 'I'm going for a walk.'

Lily moved to head after him, but James pulled her back by their still-joined hands. 'Leave him love. He'll go and punch something, or go for a run. He took it better than I thought he would anyway.'

Lily turned back towards him, her face a picture of misery and concern. 'You're sure he'll be okay?'

'Course love. I know Sirius' temper well enough. He just needs a bit of time for it to sink in; then he'll probably find Regulus and beat the crap out of him. Doubt it'll help any, but Sirius needs to feel like he's tried everything to keep his brother off that path.'

He looked at her pale face and slightly reddened eyes with concern, reaching a hand up to stroke her cheek gently. 'You look worse than he does actually.' He took a breath and asked the question he really wasn't sure he wanted an answer to. 'Upset about Snape?'

'No, not really.' The calmness of her tone surprised him, and a close look at her expression told him she wasn't lying. She looked at his curious face and continued. 'It's not like I didn't know. It was a bit of a shock to find out how _deep_ he's gotten himself into this, but…he made his choice. Made it a long time ago and now he has to live with it. It's not my problem.'

James tugged her closer for a quick kiss, relief washing through him. It wasn't just that he was thrilled she was no longer friends with Snape – though he _was_ – it was that she had come to terms with his betrayal and he was no longer able to emotionally punish her. Even putting his personal jealousy aside, that friendship had been toxic for her and she was well rid of it.

He noted her continued nervousness though, and cupped her face in his hands to hold her eyes on his. 'In that case, want to tell me what's really bothering you if it isn't Sirius or Snape?'

She sighed. 'I don't _want_ to James, but I _have_ to.' He kept his hands where they were, and ran his thumbs gently over her cheekbones in attempt to reassure her that it was okay for her to tell him whatever she needed to.

'Remus just told me…after your broom broke during that Quidditch match he was concerned about how it happened; after all, it's a good broom, it's practically brand new…and let's just say Remus has a suspicious mind okay? Anyway, the point is McGonagall had Flitwick examine it…and it was sabotaged.'

'It was what?' James' hands dropped from her face as his brain tried to process the words.

'Someone cursed it, weakened the magical core. Whoever did it couldn't have known when it would break, it would depend on how much you'd used it. It could have gone in training, or if you were flying by yourself; the fact that it broke in that match when there were so many people there probably saved you. Flitwick said it was an extremely complicated and accomplished hex; he doesn't know of any student with that kind of ability, so our suspect list consists of exactly the same names as usual.'

James regained a little of his sense and moved backwards to sit in an armchair before he fell over. 'So…do you think it was specifically aimed at me?'

'Yeah.' Lily followed him to the chair and sank down into his lap. 'Seems you've managed to upset someone besides me for a change.' He let out a strangled sort of laugh and she snuggled down further. 'We actually don't know whether this was just part of their fear-mongering campaign – let's be honest, death of a student would be great for that - or if it was personal. But it can't have been random. You're the only person here who flies a Comet 220 – probably the only person who can _afford_ one just for Quidditch – so whoever did it would have known it was yours.'

She somehow managed to worm her arms around his back and tucked her head in under his chin. 'So, I'd be grateful if you'd keep your new broom in here from now on; I don't want to have to scrape your remains off the ground, thank you.'

James wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair - inhaling the scent was strangely soothing. 'New year, new problems apparently.'

He felt her turn her face so it pressed against his chest and her words came out muffled by his shirt. 'So it would seem.'

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**********A/N: Thanks for reading; thoughts, comments, questions and criticisms are all welcome. **

**********I didn't do a huge amount of proof-reading or editing on this one because I wanted to get it posted (I hate keeping you guys waiting), so apologies for any errors.  
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	27. Chapter 27 - Frustration

**__********A/N: Hello again beautiful people! I am sleep deprived, so we'll keep this short.  
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******This chapter contains a bit of James' frustration, a load of Lily's insecurities, a dash of Blackinnon, a smidgen of Remus and just the lightest sprinkle of Regulus.  
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******Hopefully it's also good. I feel like I've edited it so many times I've lost all perspective.  
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******Haven't done one of these for a while. Oops. Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter and all Harry Potter related things that I have shamelessly usurped for my own purposes. I like to think she wouldn't mind.  
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Roberta Watson had been a leech in a past life. That was the only reasonable explanation James could see for her current behaviour; it was like she was permanently attached to him and he _just couldn't get rid of her_. For the last two weeks she'd seemed to be everywhere he went: the library, the Great Hall, the Quidditch pitch – nowhere was safe. She'd even taken to catching up with him between classes and following him along the corridors chattering away about Merlin knew what. She failed completely to catch any of his polite hints that he'd really like to be left alone, and her incessant jabbering was becoming more and more annoying.

So it was a distinctly grouchy James Potter that was making his way towards his Tuesday morning Arithmancy class; since Professor Vector had paired them at the start of the year, he had absolutely no chance of avoiding her, and the idea of two hours of her babbling away gave him a headache just thinking about it. He briefly considered skipping class – he could just go to the hospital wing and get a headache cure from Madame Pomfrey – but he quickly dismissed it. Not only would he probably get grief from Lily – who seemed to feel that being Head Boy ought to include setting a good example, and that meant actually _attending_ classes – but he really couldn't afford to miss a double period of any class. His work load this term was massive when you added in his Head duties and Quidditch captaincy.

He arrived at the Arithmancy classroom and was pleased to see that he was one of the first ones there. That gave him at least a few moments of peace, and those were few and far between these days. He took his seat and pulled his books out, carefully reading through the pages they had been assigned to work through over the weekend. Just as he was beginning to relax a little the voice he'd been dreading hearing jerked him straight back into reality, and he felt his muscles tighten up with tension as Roberta dropped into the seat next to him, tossing her black curls and sending a beaming smile at him as she did so. For a brief irrational moment he wondered if she practised that kind of thing in a mirror, but he quickly shook off the bizarre thought and went back to pointedly _not caring _about what she was saying.

'Hi James! I didn't see you much this weekend, did you do anything fun? I mean, _obviously_ I saw your Quidditch practice, which was _completely fantastic_ by the way, you're _so_ talented, Grace and I were just so amazed watching you…'

Ah, yes. _Grace_. Another unnecessary complication in his life. She'd been completely loopy over Sirius for most of last year, and that obviously hadn't changed much over the summer; her pursuit of him had been hampered this year, though, by the fact that he was obviously dating Marlene. No girl, no matter how infatuated, would willingly take on Marlene McKinnon. Ever since fifth year, when she'd hexed Philippa Johnson's ears to grow to four times their normal size and flap continuously because she'd been trying to eavesdrop, Marls had been viewed with a certain amount of fear by most of the other students, especially the girls.

Seemingly not put off by this turn of events and Sirius' new lack of availability, Grace had simply turned her attentions to _him_. Based on this, James was pretty sure that the two girls were keener on the idea of being seen to date a Quidditch player – and a Marauder to boot – than they were on him personally, but it still didn't make it any less annoying to deal with.

He was sure girls had never been this problematical before this year. Sure, he'd dated a few who'd turned out to be insane stalkers once he'd – politely – broken it off, and there had always been the odd Quidditch groupie – albeit usually from the younger years – and okay, once or twice there'd been a girl who asked him out then hated his guts when he said no, but he'd never had to deal with birds who were so bloody _determined _before.

The worst of it was, the more the two of them nagged at him, the harder it was to stop himself from just yelling at the top of his lungs that he had a girlfriend, and would they all just leave him alone? He couldn't do that, though, because he'd told Lily he wouldn't. He was well aware that his so-called friends had a betting pool going on just how long it would take for him to crack, but he was determined that he wouldn't damage Lily's trust in him by acting without thinking. The strain of constantly having to watch his actions was wearing on him – he'd never really been one for hiding his feelings, and he found it increasingly difficult to do so on a daily basis. He didn't think he'd ever felt more frustrated and wound up than he had this past week or so.

As an alternative, he'd toyed with the idea of being so bloody horrible to them that they'd be completely put off, but had dismissed_ that_ idea on the grounds that Lily would probably consider that some form of bullying and would yell at him for that. Merlin, much as he loved her, she was making his life far more difficult than it needed to be. Resolving to discuss things with her again tonight, he tuned back in to Roberta's waffle just in time to catch a question being directed his way.

'…what do you think?'

She was smiling at him expectantly, apparently oblivious to the fact that he had been completely ignoring her. He sighed and pasted on a patient half-smile, trying to make it obvious that he was being polite and nothing more.

'I'm sorry, Roberta, what did you say? I didn't quite catch that last part.'

She giggled and gently slapped his shoulder playfully. 'I _said_, would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday? I'm sure you must be _so_ bored of going with the same people all the time.' She offered him another one of those sunny smiles, and James felt a little offended, both by the shamelessness of her pursuit of him and by her suggestion that he would become tired of his friends and just ditch them for a better offer.

'It's nice of you to think of me Roberta, but I happen to _like_ going to Hogsmeade with my friends, and I've already made plans to do just that. So thanks, but no.' The second the words were out of his mouth he realised how short-tempered they sounded. Ah, well. No-one ever said James Potter had a sterling temper anyway. Perhaps Lil wouldn't be too annoyed with him; he was pretty sure she didn't care much for Roberta, Grace and their group of gossipy harpies.

'That's okay James, there's always another time. I'm sure we'll get a chance to see each other _privately _soon enough.' She batted her eyelashes at him while patting his arm comfortingly before turning to face Professor Vector who had just begun to speak. James looked at the side of her face incredulously, then buried his head in his hands with a silent groan.

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Lily was stretched out on the sofa of the Head's common room, her feet dangling off the end nearest the fire where they would stay warm despite the January chill that seemed to be sunk into the very walls of the castle. Her head was resting on a pillow stolen from James' bed – it wasn't that pathetic to want to constantly be surrounded by your boyfriend's scent was it? – and her arms were waving aimlessly in the air as she sang along with the wireless that was playing loudly.

She'd had an unbelievably trying day; her free period when James had Arithmancy was spent overseeing study hall, and the students had been absolute hell to supervise. The Prophet had published another divisive and inflammatory article about Hogwarts and its "lacklustre" staff, as well as an article about the growing concerns over "magical dilution" in society. Meaning muggle-borns naturally.

The school was rapidly dividing into two factions; one supporting the blood-purity agenda and the other arguing for equality. Putting large numbers of students from both sides in one room and expecting them to study was foolish at best – it had taken Lily a huge amount of effort just to keep the hexes to a minimum. The situation was not helped by the fact that she herself was muggleborn; after all, a lot of the people she was trying to supervise didn't believe she should be allowed in the school at all, least of all in a position of authority. She'd had to bite her tongue repeatedly as she struggled to retain control and her wand hand had been itching to send a few well-placed jinxes herself, but as Head Girl she just couldn't allow herself to react to the provocation.

All in all, it had been a depressing day. After the study hall fiasco, she'd headed for Potions where she'd been partnered with Joanna Holtbrook from Slytherin who had taken the opportunity to make comment after comment about the superiority of pure-bloods. From there she'd gone to Herbology where one of the Hufflepuff girls had been knocked out by a Mandrake's cry, and she'd had to miss the rest of the lesson to take her to the hospital wing. Finally, there'd been DADA, which should have been a great class since they were just reviewing defensive spells they'd already covered, but her wandwork was sloppy and imprecise and the general frustration of the day had depressed her so much she couldn't even produce a vapour when she tried to cast a patronus. She hadn't even had James to cheer her up afterwards, since he went straight from DADA to the Quidditch field for training. What possessed him to schedule a practise on a day when his timetable was absolutely full, and when he was on the rounds rota for the evening, she had no idea.

Thinking about James brought bittersweet feelings. Seeing him would make her feel so much better, she knew that, and she wasn't sure if she'd have got through a day like today without hitting someone if she hadn't known he was going to be there at the end of it. But the events of today had also forced her to face up to one simple fact that she'd been avoiding up till now, a fact that she was completely ashamed of: she was jealous of James.

She had always been annoyed by how easily everything came to him; lessons, Quidditch, friends. She could admit now that a fair bit of the antagonism she felt towards him during their earlier years at school could be partly attributed to that jealousy. She wasn't ashamed of that; after all, there was nothing wrong with a healthy sense of competition, but what did bother her was that - though she tried not to - she envied James his unassailable position in wizarding society.

He had been a shock appointment to the Head Boy position, having never been a prefect and more importantly being one of the best known troublemakers in Hogwart's history, but almost everyone had accepted his authority instantly. Even the Slytherin's who hated him for being a blood-traitor, even the boys who were jealous of his Quidditch skills or the mediocre students who envied his seemingly effortless good grades simply accepted that he was Head Boy. They may not have been thrilled, but they didn't argue that he had _no right_ to the position. He was James Potter, pure-blood, and it would be naïve to think that didn't affect the way people reacted to him. Sure, James had charm and charisma by the bucket load, and he wasn't even remotely shy about using it to his advantage, but the point was _he rarely had to_. He didn't have to fight for acceptance into society, he was one of the social leaders. He didn't have to earn his place, it was automatically his. Every door would open, every important person would stretch out a hand for James Potter of Potter Manor.

Who was she kidding that she could ever be like he was? She'd never be an acceptable girlfriend for him as far as society at large was concerned. She knew his parents liked her, and that there were many others just like them, that weren't prejudiced, and would think nothing of James dating a muggleborn, but there were plenty of others who would not only take issue with it, but would go out of their way to attack James for it. The more she was alone with her thoughts, the more it seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. She'd tried to pretend it didn't bother her for so long, she didn't know if she could ever admit to him that it _did._

She let out a huff of surprised breath when James rolled over the back of the sofa and landed on top of her, burying his face into her stomach where it happened to have landed. She felt her heartbeat stutter and begin to race, then slow down again as the adrenaline left her and her body relaxed.

'Bloody hell James, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Give a girl some warning would you, we don't usually appreciate being snuck up on.' She spoke lightly, pretending there was nothing wrong, and slapped the back of his head gently before she noticed that he was still in his Quidditch practice uniform and that there was grass stuck in his hair.

She began to gently pick it out while he remained face down on top of her, unmoving and heavy.

'I hate school. I want to leave. Let's elope.' His voice was muffled slightly by the cotton of her long-sleeved top as he spoke his words into her belly, but they were still clear enough for her to be able to understand them. The vibration of his throat against her stomach combined with the warmth of his breath through her clothes made her shiver slightly, and her throat went dry, but those feelings were overridden by the unsettled emotions that the word "elope" conjured up, that combination of elation and panic.

Having gotten no response to his words, James finally lifted his head and looked at her, hazel eyes on green. 'Well, what do you think? We could go to Gretna Green.' His lips curved up in a smile, and something about his expression was soothing enough to let Lily find her voice.

'If that's a proposal Potter, it's rubbish.' She was surprised at how level her voice seemed, how composed and matter-of-fact she sounded. 'I suggest you get some new lines. Sirius can probably help you with that, since he's apparently written a wedding speech.'

'Ah, you know about that.' James let out a brief laugh, but it was forced and uncomfortable, and his eyes moved away from hers to a point just beyond her right shoulder. 'I would just like to state right now, you know, _for the record_, that should I propose to you, it will most definitely be without the assistance of Padfoot. Remus is a possibility, but absolutely not Padfoot.'

'I think I'm relieved.' James' mouth twitched, but he maintained his straight face as his flicked back to hers.

'I wouldn't be. I might be able to keep him out of the proposal, and even prevent him being involved with the wedding plans, but there's no way I could keep him away from the stag party.'

'That's okay.' Lily returned to her task of picking random bits of plant life from James' hair. 'I'm sure Remus and Pete would get you back in one piece.'

'Maybe.' James rested his head back down on her, presumably to make it easier for her to continue pulling her hands through his hair, and after a moment of peaceful silence, in which she could almost feel her mood getting brighter and more cheerful he cleared his throat and spoke quietly. 'While we're on the topic…' His voice trailed off as her hand fisted suddenly in her hair, her mind whirling in alarm as she tried to work out where this was going, because _Merlin_, there were some conversations she just wasn't ready for.

James' hand came up to remove hers from where it was still forcefully fixed in his hair, and he gripped it tight as he lifted his head to look at her properly again. 'Don't panic, I'm not proposing.' Lily felt the sudden tightness that had gripped her chest slacken and she let out the breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding. She squeezed James' hand that was still wrapped around hers, not wanting him to be hurt that the idea of marrying him made her so obviously terrified.

'Roberta Watson asked me out today.' That was _not_ what she'd been expecting him to say. Her annoyance at Roberta must have shown on her face, because James rushed quickly on. 'I told her no, obviously. But…I've always thought she wasn't good with subtlety because I've been trying to let her know I'm not interested for ages , but it turns out she'd not good at taking no for an answer either, because she just muttered something about finding time for a date soon. The girl is…persistent...to say the least.'

'You mean she's got the social graces and the subtlety of an unremitting bludger.' Lily grumbled, not even bothering to hide that she was extremely put out by the antics of their classmate. Roberta and Grace and the rest of their little bunch of Marauder groupies had been seriously annoying her recently. Part of her knew it was somewhat her own fault – as far as they were concerned James was fair game, but honestly, there was such a thing as self-respect wasn't there? He obviously wasn't interested but they just kept _badgering_ at him, and every bat of eyelashes, every hair toss, every fake little laugh made her want to curse them into next week. James let out a snort of laughter and some of the light came back into his tired eyes.

'Nice description. Very…accurate and yet still slightly cruel. I love Jealous Lily.' He pushed up the fabric of her shirt and kissed her stomach, warm lips lingering on her skin. Pushing away the warm feeling pooling in her abdomen, Lily reached out a hand and used an index finger to force his chin up so she could meet his eyes again.

'Was that what this conversation was about? Provoking Jealous Lily into making an appearance?'

'No actually, that was just a delightful by-product.' He took a deep breath, and Lily felt her pulse jump nervously as she took in the change in his expression. 'This conversation was actually about how you have the power to save me from the clutches of Roberta and her bunch of wenches…by letting me tell them that I'm with you.'

'Ah. Well.' Lily felt that little jump her heartbeat had taken become a full-on hammering. 'James...'she began.

'Stop.' James reached a hand up to cover her lips. 'Just listen a minute okay Lil?' She nodded mutely, not sure she would have been able to get a coherent sentence strung together at that exact moment anyway. All the fears and insecurities that had been plaguing her just moments ago seemed to coalesce into one giant mass of anxiety running through her brain, twisting her stomach in knots, making her eyes fill with stupid, useless tears of panic. James removed his hand from her face and placed it over her heartbeat, feeling her anxiety through his palm before he began speaking.

'I love you. I want other people to know I love you. I _hate_ other girls asking me out, almost as much as I hate the way other blokes look at you sometimes.' James' eyes were fixed on hers, his voice full of sincerity as his thumb rubbed soothing patterns on the back of her hand. 'I'm not saying I want to take out an ad in the Prophet or stand on the table and announce it at dinner, I just want to be able to tell girls who ask me out that I'm taken. I want to know that if a bloke asks you to Hogsmeade you'll tell them that you're going with me because I'm your boyfriend. I don't see what's so bad about that Lil.'

Hating herself for putting that little bit of hurt in his eyes she reached out both hands to cup his face. 'Nothing is wrong with that James. Nothing. It's just… I don't want to be gossiped about, and more importantly I don't want _you_ to be gossiped about; I don't want people to turn on you because of me, I don't want people to look at you as that pureblood who's slumming it with a mudblood…'

'Don't use that word.' James was up off the sofa in a second, and her whole body felt colder without his weight pressing on her. The fury in his eyes took her by surprise a little; she'd seen it before, seen what his temper could be like when provoked, but not once in any of their fights and arguments over the years had she ever known him so angry with _her_. The tears that had been building up behind her eyelashes began to threaten more urgently now as she took in his angry stance and clenched fists.

'James…'

'Don't Lily. Don't you ever use that word around me, not in any circumstances. I've _never_ used it, and neither should you.' He turned cold, angry eyes on her, pinning her in place with his glare. 'Do you think that up to this point people in this school have somehow been _unaware_ that I like you? You don't think I've made it a little obvious? Anyone who wants to say anything to me about it said it a long time ago, and I didn't give a damn then and I don't give a damn now! I don't need their approval and neither do you, because I'd bet half my bloody vault that you're a more talented, more powerful witch than any of them could hope to be!'

He trailed off and sighed his frustration, both hands reaching up to run through his hair in that restless gesture she must have shouted at him about a million times or more. 'The thing is Lil…I understand your thinking and your viewpoint on this. I do. I get that you're worried about how people will react, and I know that the repercussions will probably be worse for you than for me, and if there was anything I could do to change that, I _would_. In a second.'

He drew in a deep breath, obviously reaching for some of the control he'd lost; he avoided eye contact with her, instead turning his head slightly so that he could stare towards the window in the far side of the room. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet and unemotional, and _that_ scared her more than anything else so far.

'I think there must be something more to your reasoning than that. I think somewhere in there you must be a little bit ashamed of this for whatever reason, and that _hurts_ Lily. It hurts that you might be allowing them to make you think that they are right and this is something to be ashamed of because of some supposed difference in our blood, but it hurts _more_ to think that maybe you're actually self-conscious about being with me.'

At some point as he'd been talking she had managed to pull herself into a sitting position, and as his words sank in, the panic hit her full in the throat, choking her; she couldn't breathe, couldn't think fast enough, couldn't find any words that would make all of this alright again. He was slipping through her fingers and she was _letting _him, because she was stupid and insecure and too damn worried about what other people thought of her. James was standing in front of her asking her to do one little thing for him so why couldn't she just do it? All those reasons she'd had earlier seemed so far away now, so ridiculous when they were weighed against what he meant to her.

She looked at him as he stared off into the distance, his posture rigid, his face strained. She looked at him, the boy who'd rocked her to sleep when she'd cried, who'd healed a cut on her head because he could see she was in pain, who'd carried her through the mud so she wouldn't get dirty, who'd made tea for a friend because she was hurting and he didn't know what else to do. He'd slipped her a magic mirror so she'd feel safer and less alone. He'd apologised for something that had never really been his fault because he'd been truly sorry that it had hurt her. He'd told her truths that he'd never before shared with anyone outside his adopted brothers because he wouldn't lie to her if he could help it. The question here was, what was she willing to do for him, given what he'd done for _her_?

'James…' she tried again, but for the third time he cut her off before she could get any further than his name.

'Don't worry about it Lily.' He sounded drained. Exhausted and emotionless, as if he didn't have anything left in him. 'Really. I probably won't see you later. I have rounds.' He turned and headed for his room without looking at her once, and somehow she just didn't have the words to ask him to come back.

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'That's extremely distracting Black.' Marlene attempted to sound stern, but her voice betrayed a trace of amusement as it always did when she was merely pretending to be annoyed. Marlene McKinnon had never been shy about hexing people, and Sirius had no doubt that she wouldn't hesitate to jinx him if he was really annoying her.

With that in mind he continued to kiss his way up her bare calf until he reached the hem of her skirt where it fell just above her knee, and then he switched legs and continued back down the other. As he reached her ankle he felt something soft hit him in the back of the head. Grabbing the pillow she'd nailed him with he straightened up and gave her a devilish grin before he launched himself at her, tickling her sides mercilessly as he pinned her down on his bed and lavished kisses along her exposed collarbone.

'I'm trying to study for Potions!' Marlene gasped out as she tried to simultaneously hit him and make a grab for her wand that was sat on the bedside table.

'Why in Merlin's name would you need or want to study for Potions?' Sirius sounded calm and completely unbothered by the struggles and uncontrolled laughter of the girl pinned under him as he continued his campaign of kisses. 'I mean, it's _boring_ Marls, it really is, and you can just get Lils to help you…'

'Some of us need jobs after school, we don't all have insane rich uncles to lavish us with gold you know!' Marlene's voice was breathless, but still carried that hint of laughter as she fought with him, her hands braced against his chest as she attempted to push him off her. He responded by collapsing on her completely, smothering her with his full body weight.

'You are crushing me you big oaf! How many helpings of dinner did you eat you bloody great fireslug?'

'It's all muscle!' Sirius spoke in a sing-song voice, accompanying his words by poking and prodding her ribs with his fingers.

'I think you'll find its vast deposits of fat caused by over-eating of dessert, _actually_.' Marlene was doing her best to sound exasperated, but Sirius was in no mood to study, and therefore in no mood to let anyone else study either.

'All muscle!' he sang again, continuing to prod at her sides before beginning to tickle mercilessly up and down her ribcage. 'Say it Marls, or I can keep this up indefinitely!'

'I refuse to add weight to your overblown ego Black!' Marlene resumed her struggles to free herself, but she was severely hampered both by his larger bulk and also by the muscle-weakening tickles he was inflicting on her sides.

'Say it!'

'No!'

'Say it!'

'I will not!'

'Say it!'

'It's all muscle Sirius Black, you overconfident, narcissistic idiot!' Marlene practically screamed, ready to say pretty much anything to stop the torture. He'd always known her weaknesses.

'Well, you editorialised a bit, but okay. I accept your flattery.' He raised himself up on his elbows, supporting the majority of his weight and grinned down at her. It took only seconds for her answering grin to cover her face; neither of them had never been inclined to take things very seriously. He leant down to cover her mouth with his but had barely brushed her lips when the door swung open and a subdued voice spoke.

'Hey guys, have you got a minute? Oh.' Obviously catching sight of their position on Sirius' bed, Lily began to back out of the room apologising. 'I should come back later.'

'Probably.' Said Sirius, his lips hovering a few inches away from Marlene's.

'No you shouldn't.' Marly aimed a death glare at him and shoved at his arms. Recognising that she meant it this time, he groaned and pushed himself off her until he landed on his back on the mattress alongside her.

'What's the matter Lils?' Marlene sounded concerned, and he pushed himself up on his elbows to see what was wrong.

'I, er, was looking for Remus actually. I wanted to ask him for some advice about something, so I should get going and quit disturbing you anyway.' Now he could get a good look at her, he could see that she didn't seem so much subdued as distraught. Her hair was dishevelled and her eyes were red – the remnants of a crying fit if he was any judge. Straightening up, he beckoned her over.

'What's the matter Lily-flower? Do I need to go hit someone for making you cry?'

She tried her best to give him a weak smile. 'You'd have to hit me then, because this one is all my own fault.'

He patted the bed between him and Marly. 'Come tell Padfoot your troubles sweetheart. I'm _much _better than Remus anyway.'

Lily crossed the room and sat down next to him, her shoulders slumped as she sat and picked nervously at her fingernails. Sirius and Marly sat in silence while they waited for her to speak. Just as he was about to decide that he'd had enough of waiting – patience had never been his strong point – Lily spoke quietly.

'Have you seen James at all?'

They exchanged slightly confused looks behind her back and then Sirius answered. 'Well, we both saw him at Quidditch practice earlier, but not since then. Isn't it one of his patrol nights?'

'Yeah. I just…wondered if he seemed okay to you earlier.'

Sirius shrugged, then looked at Marlene for an opinion. She offered her own shrug in response and he took that as encouragement to answer.

'Well, he seemed okay. A bit more…aggressive than usual maybe, but we put that down to the fact that he was trying to coach some sense into those reserves of his. What's brought all this on Tiger-Lily? He was heading back to your common room after practice, didn't you see him then?'

'No, I did. I just…did he say anything about breaking up with me?'

There was a brief shocked silence and then Marlene and Sirius both spoke at once in near identical tones of disbelief.

'What?'

'Of course not!'

'I don't know what to do!' Lily burst out in a sudden wail. 'We had this stupid fight, and he just left, and I couldn't think of how to say what I needed to say, and I didn't know he felt so strongly, and he just looked at me like…he didn't know me at all, and…'

She was cut off as Marly's arms came round her and pulled her in tight, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing noises. It was a scene he'd watched plenty of over the summer, but this time the roles were reversed. Sirius didn't think Lily was even aware of the tears streaming down her face. If Prongs had ever had any doubts about her feelings, he ought to take one good look at her now. He reached out and put his hand over hers.

'Tiger-Lily. James is not breaking up with you. I don't know what the fight was about, and I'm not going to ask you to tell me; I'm just going to say one thing. He's not going to break up with you, because he is. Not. That. Stupid.'

He rubbed his hand over hers once and slid forward off the bed. 'I'm going to leave you two to chat okay?' He leant over Lily's head and pressed a short kiss to Marlene's hair; she gave him a grateful look and he escaped the room quietly. He couldn't lie; in some ways he was extremely relieved to leave the crying female to someone else.

He marched down the stairs to the common room, his steps determined and purposeful. He needed to find Moony, and then between them, they were going to beat some sense through James Potter's incredibly thick skull. On the plus side, Remus being Remus at least meant he'd be pretty easy to find. Prongs might be a different matter of course, but what hope did he have with two Marauders on his tail?

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It took him less than five minutes to reach the corridor that led to the library, thanks to his judicious use of several shortcuts and hidden passageways. He was about to round the final corner before the main entrance when it occurred to him that he could hear Remus' voice; and he wasn't alone. Grinning to himself he pulled back a tapestry and slid into the alcove it covered. "Never turn down an opportunity when it presents itself" was practically built into Marauder law.

Remus rounded the corner; he was talking quietly to Julia who had her arm looped through his and was smiling up at him as she walked alongside him, moving slightly quicker than he was to keep pace with his much longer stride. As she laughed at whatever story he'd just finished telling she lost her grip on the stack of books she was carrying tucked under one arm and they crashed to the floor. She released his arm and crouched down to collect them and Remus dropped to one knee alongside her to help.

'I'm so bloody ungainly sometimes!' Julia's cheerful voice laughed at her own clumsiness. 'It's the despair of my mother – you should have seen me at dance lessons. She thought I'd grow out of it, but apparently not.'

Remus took the books she'd already picked up from her hands and gathered them up in his. 'I should have been carrying these for you anyway.' He straightened up and slipped the books under his arm before offering her his free hand. She took it and allowed him to pull her back to her feet.

'Thanks, but you don't need to carry things for me all the time. We've been out of the fourteenth century for quite some time now, girls can _carry _stuff nowadays.' She teased him gently, and behind his tapestry Sirius smothered a grin at the light-hearted way she poked fun at his friend.

Remus smiled, but there seemed to be an edge of uncertainty to it that suggested he wasn't wholly comfortable. Just as Sirius was speculating on what could be ruffling Remus' almost legendary cool exterior, his friend spoke nervously.

'So, in this time period that we are in now, that we've established is _not_ the fourteenth century…is it inappropriate for a bloke to ask a girl he's friends with if she'd like to go to Hogsmeade with him on Saturday?' He paused for a moment as if he was steeling himself for something before he added: 'Maybe as a date?'

Without thinking about the fact that this was a conversation he was most certainly _not_ meant to be overhearing, Sirius drew in a sharp breath in his surprise at the risk Moony was taking, and was relieved that they were both too engrossed with each other to hear him.

Julia brushed her silky blonde hair back, tucking one stubborn lock behind her ears. Her cheeks were flushed, but the blush suited her and the corners of her mouth were starting to twitch into what looked suspiciously like a smile.

'It would not only be _completely_ appropriate, it would be very much appreciated.' She sounded shyer than Sirius had ever heard her; Julia's confidence had always seemed pretty much unshakeable to him. He watched Remus' expression change, the nervousness sliding off and being replaced with a mixture of relief and pleasure, and he wanted to leap out and hug Julia himself for putting that look on his mate's face. Remus ran a hand over his sandy hair and looked Julia straight in the eye.

'Well then. Julia; if you aren't busy, would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday?'

'Like a date?' Julia took a step closer towards him, and Sirius felt a healthy appreciation for her determination to make Remus lay out exactly what he was asking. _That's my girl. Don't you leave him any wriggle room._

Remus took one deep breath before answering. 'Exactly like a date.'

Julia's face lit up in a happy smile. 'I'd love to. I'll meet you in the entrance hall at nine-thirty.' She took one step closer again and stood up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Remus' cheek before stepping back again quickly. She gently released her books from under his arm and hugged them to her chest. 'Don't be late.'

She turned on her heel swiftly and wandered off, leaving Remus stood in the hallway looking more than a little shell-shocked. Sirius slipped out from his hiding place and positioned himself directly behind his friend.

'That went well.'

Remus span around more quickly than Sirius would have thought possible, his expression dumbfounded as he caught sight of his smirking friend.

'Bloody hell Padfoot! How long have you been here?'

'Long enough to see you finally get your arse in gear with the lovely Miss Huxley.' He paused for a moment then decided Remus' mood was good enough for him to chance his next question. 'What made you decide to overlook the furry little problem for once?'

Remus began to walk slowly and he fell into step with him while he waited for an answer.

'Lily may have given me a pep talk.'

'Ah. On that topic; dearest Lily seems to be under the impression that James is breaking up with her.'

'What?!' Remus stopped dead and almost cricked his neck his head turned so rapidly in Sirius' direction. Sirius held his hands up, palms facing out to deflect further questioning.

'I don't know mate. I just know that Lily is with Marls in our dorm room sobbing her little eyes out, and Prongs, git that he is, is apparently MIA.'

'So we need to find him.' Remus nodded and picked up his pace as they headed for the main stairwell.

'See, this is why I need you and not Pete.' The two of them turned towards the moving staircases and came face to face with Snape and Regulus coming in the other direction. There was one frozen moment while all four looked at each other, hands inching slowly towards wands, then the spell was broken by Remus.

'Come on Padfoot. One problem at a time.'

Sirius nodded, but held eye contact with his brother for a moment longer; he was starting to squirm uncomfortably under the piercing gaze of his older sibling. Sirius curled his lip scornfully and pushed between Regulus and Snape, being sure to give each of them a good shove as he passed.

He couldn't have gone more than two steps before he heard Snape's voice speaking to Regulus, just loud enough for him to overhear.

'Won't Hogwarts be great once the mudbloods and blood traitors have all gone? No more worthless wastes of space clogging up the school.'

He _knew_ it was deliberate,_ knew_ Snape was trying to provoke him, but who was he kidding? He wasn't James, _he_ didn't need to be Mr Responsible. And really, what was life without a few good hexes along the way?

He turned swiftly to face where the two Slytherins were standing, both of them looking in his direction, and with a quick twitch of his wand he aimed two powerful stinging hexes their way; he felt a buzz of satisfaction when he saw them hit their mark before either of them could react to deflect it. Both Snape and Regulus span fully around to face him, wands drawn, but they faltered when they saw the number of other students that were in the stairwell, many of them beginning to look up with interest.

'Padfoot! I'm stood right here, and there are witnesses. Detention tomorrow.' Remus' voice was full of exasperation as he spoke to his friend, but he turned a steely gaze on Snape and Regulus who were both smirking as Sirius received his punishment. 'And ten points from Slytherin for the foul language Snape. _Not_ that I expect you to know any better. Now get back to your dorm before I have to take it up with Slughorn.'

'Prefects can't dock points from other prefects Lupin, you ought to know that.' Snape sneered at him as Sirius snorted his disapproval of the entire situation.

'I know they can't. But Heads can, and you can bet either Lily or James will happily sign off when I tell them what you said.'

Something flashed in Snape's eyes at the mention of Lily's name, but they hardened instantly when James was mentioned, and he looked at Regulus and jerked his head to indicate that Regulus should follow him. Then he turned towards the dungeons and began to walk. Sirius watched his brother hesitate as he turned to follow the older boy, and he felt those guilty family ties tug on him a little. He'd deliberately turned away from his parents, but the rift between him and Regulus had been a consequence he'd been forced to accept; he couldn't in all honesty say that he'd ever truly give up on his brother.

'Reg.' He called the name out, just loud enough to make sure he could hear, but low enough that it would be difficult to be overheard. He saw his brother stop; he might not have turned around or given any outward sign of it, but Sirius knew he was listening. 'Whatever you're about to do, don't. Whatever they are trying to talk you in to; there are some things you can never come back from.'

Regulus stayed in place for a second, then hurried after Snape's disappearing back. Sirius huffed out a breath as he wondered if it had been worth it. Would there ever be anything he could say that would make the difference? He'd never been that good with words, never been able to talk someone down, make them see sense. That had always been Moony's gift, and James' too if he could be convinced to apply it. But Reg wouldn't even speak to either of his friends, couldn't be convinced to take the time to listen. He couldn't even call on someone like Lily or Julia to apply their particular brand of common sense to this one either; he was on his own, and he was deathly afraid somewhere deep down that he would never be able to redeem his brother.

Remus' shoulder nudged his. 'Come on mate, let's find Prongs. One…'

'One problem at a time. I know it.' Sirius interrupted then continued his gloomy way down the stairs towards the main entrance, wondering how people were capable of screwing their lives up in such a variety of interesting ways.

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**__****__************A/N: I'm not sure if I've said this recently (I think I say it quite a lot, but meh), but I really appreciate people taking the time to read my story. You're all fantastic. If you have time to leave me a review, please do, I love to hear from you.**

**********Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and everyone who has followed or favourited, you've kept my motivation up.  
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	28. Chapter 28 - Honesty

******A/N: Another chapter, and quite soon after the last update too. Check me out.  
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******Thanks again for all your kind reviews, and I hope you're all still enjoying the story.  
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******Love you all x  
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James stared gloomily at his plate as he stabbed the yolks of his fried eggs with what Remus could be overheard describing to Alice as unnecessary vitriol. So they'd noticed his bad mood then obviously; he'd not tried to hide it. A number of apprehensive looks had been thrown his way from his housemates, and he would be the first to admit that he'd snapped at everybody who'd approached him so far that morning. The Head Boy's temper tantrum was probably the talk of the Great Hall. Well, everybody could just deal with it. It was a side-effect of his current depressed mood, and frankly they should all be grateful that he was only impaling breakfast foods; there were other, less harmful ways he could be spending his morning, most of them involving murder and the subsequent concealment of the bodies.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by a sharp kick to the shin and he jerked his head up quickly and threw his cutlery down onto his plate with a loud clang.

'Padfoot! If you kick me one more time, I swear to Merlin, I will hex your precious hair into nothingness you egocentric git!'

He hissed rather than shouted the words, and from the corner of his eye he saw Pete wince slightly as he discreetly moved further along the bench seat away from him. The Marauders were all intimately acquainted with James' temper, and they knew that if he was keeping his voice low then he was_ really_ furious. A threat made in that tone of voice was not to be taken lightly. Sirius, it seemed, had no sense of self-preservation today as he merely grinned at the reaction he'd provoked and leaned towards James over the table.

'Maybe if you answered simple questions when they were asked instead of pretending you can't hear me I wouldn't have to kick you. So I repeat: did you speak to Lily last night?'

James' scowl deepened. He'd left the Head's dorms after his row with Lily to go skip stones in the lake, sat under the tree where the whole unsavoury Snape incident had taken place in fifth year. It was where he always went to wallow over Lily Evans; he'd always thought nothing he could do would compare to the monumental screw-up that day had been, but it seemed he'd underestimated his ability to be an arse. Yesterday had been a fuck-up of a colossal scale. His grip on his temper had just slipped totally and he'd vented two weeks of frustration on Lily; not wholly unfairly, since he had been telling the truth about how he felt about things and her obstinacy was after all, part of the problem, but the whole issue should have been approached in a calmer frame of mind. She'd deserved that much from him at least.

Of course, his mates had known exactly where to look for him – the downside of being a creature of habit - and had turned up to badger him. Sirius had informed him in no uncertain terms that he'd made Lily cry – didn't _that_ just make him feel ten times worse – and Remus had politely but firmly suggested that he and Lily were each as stubborn and stupid as each other and that one of them had better learn to control their temper, or at least to confide in the other _before_ things reached boiling point. Neither had been surprised to learn that James had no intention of breaking up with Lily; she had doubtless assumed it based on his behaviour and her own lack of confidence in their relationship.

An hour or so of talking with them before he had to go on rounds had made him feel a little better, and then Remus – brilliant friend that he was – had swapped patrol nights with Ben Jones from Hufflepuff so he could go on rounds with James and they could continue their conversation. Thanks to Moony's baffling ability to understand the female mind – where he got these insights, James had no idea and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to – he'd been able to see Lily's point of view a little more clearly.

He'd had no idea she was so insecure about her blood status, had never thought that the difference between their backgrounds could be an issue for her. He'd run through his memories of their past conversations and couldn't recall anything that had hinted that she was concerned. He couldn't decide whether he was an idiot for not being able to guess, but really, how was he supposed to know what she was thinking if she wouldn't _talk_ to him? He wasn't a bloody Legilimens, although right now that seemed to be a skill worth cultivating. He'd spent most of last night lying awake wondering why she still didn't trust him enough to tell him when something was bothering her.

He picked up his knife and hacked viciously into his sausages as he answered Sirius who was still inclined across the table towards him. He didn't look up from his plate at all as he spoke. 'No, I did not. She was in bed by the time I got back and I certainly wasn't going to wake her up just so I could fight with her all over again. And she was gone before I got up this morning, so that's that. She doesn't want to speak to me, and I'm not going to force her to.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and sat up straight in his seat again. 'You may be my best mate Prongs, but you can be a prize bloody berk at times you know that?'

'Padfoot.' Remus' voice came from Sirius' right hand side, a low note of warning in it. It was always impressive how Moony could make one word sound like an entire paragraph of threats, but James was in no mood to appreciate either his friend's forcefulness or his tact. Neither was Sirius it seemed, because he carried on speaking regardless.

'I mean, you're miserable. _She's_ miserable. It would be incredibly easy to make the both of you _not _miserable, and neither one of you will just grow up! For Morgana's sake!' Sirius was now using his own cutlery to make accusing gestures at James, who had lifted his eyes from his plate for the first time and was glaring across the table at him.

'Er, Pads?' Peter sounded a little hesitant at getting involved, but used the most inconspicuous possible gestures to try and draw Sirius' attention to the white-knuckle grip that James had on his cutlery that suggested his temper was at snapping point. Sirius' eyes darted quickly to where Pete was indicating, but he refused to be cowed by James' irritability; if it came to a fight, well it wouldn't be the first time. Waving his friends' cautions away, he continued to try and provoke a reaction from James.

'Bloody hell, you spent years chasing after her, _finally_ got her and now what? One fight and you're done. I'm starting to think the sorting hat put you in the wrong house mate.'

James put his cutlery down slowly and deliberately and, keeping eye contact with Sirius at all times, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand, placing it on the table alongside his plate where it was in plain view. He raised an eyebrow at Sirius and held his gaze a moment longer before speaking. 'Feel free to carry on lecturing me about my personal choices. If you're Gryffindor enough to.'

Sirius opened his mouth but before he could get a single sound out, Remus slapped his hand across it. 'Wands away boys. This is _not_ a pissing match, and we are in the Great Hall at breakfast where there are lots of teachers and prefects. Let's not okay?'

There was a moment of frozen silence as their friends waited to see whether Remus had successfully averted the crisis. Emma and Mary peered around Peter to look, and Frank surreptitiously pulled his wand out under the table. There was a collective sigh of relief when James was first to move, sliding his wand back into his pocket and returning to his breakfast. Remus removed his hand from Sirius' mouth and returned to his own breakfast, but not before he'd cuffed him across the back of the head and sent a good scowl in his direction.

Breakfast continued on as it had been, with James glaring at his plate and Sirius glowering at _him_, while Remus and Peter watched them both for the first signs of trouble brewing. James continued to assault the food on his plate without actually _eating_ any of it. He wasn't mad at Padfoot, he wasn't mad at any of the people he'd snapped at that morning, he just couldn't resist spreading his misery around a bit. After all, it isn't every day you realise that the girl of your dreams, who you love madly, might not want to be with you.

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'I'm not sure I can do this.' Lily could hear the nerves in her own voice as she held onto Marlene's arm for comfort as they made their way down the stairs towards the Great Hall.

'You don't _have_ to do this Lil. James wouldn't expect this from you, he said that himself. He wouldn't want you to make yourself unhappy.' Marlene rubbed her free hand comfortingly along the back of Lily's shoulders as they descended the last few steps.

'I know. But after everything we talked about yesterday, I realised you were right. There's no middle ground here; we're either together or we're not. I was stupid to think that we could just keep it all quiet and exist in this little bubble where no-one else matters.' Lily heard the tone of her own voice and knew it sounded as miserable as she felt.

Marly smiled a little sadly, troubled by the hurt in Lily's words. 'Sweetie. You and James do exist in your own little bubble. Do you know how many times we all have to repeat ourselves for you two because you're not paying attention? You ignore us just fine when it suits you, you just need to apply that to the rest of the world. You have to remember that just because other people would know about you, that's not inviting them into your bubble. Your relationship will still be as private as you two want it to be; other people knowing doesn't mean you need to give them the gory details darling.'

'I know.' Lily sighed and squeezed Marly's arm a little tighter in appreciation of her support. 'I just don't want to deal with the hate you know? I get enough "mudbloods" as it is, it's only going to get worse when the bigots find out I have the _audacity_ to date a pure-blood. And that's before we factor in the girls who are going to decide they hate me because James Potter is now off the market. I'm going to take a lot of abuse for this.'

Marlene stopped and tugged Lily off to one side of the hallway, out of the main flow of students where they would be harder to overhear.

'I know sweetie. I can only promise you that I will hex each and every person who says something in my earshot.' Lily's lips twitched slightly into a half-smile, but her eyes were still as unhappy as they had been yesterday. 'I think the only question you need to answer is: is being with James worth all the nasty names? Because if it is, then you're both strong enough to deal with it. If it's not…well then, you probably shouldn't be together at all.'

Lily's head jerked up at the surprising harshness of Marlene's assessment. She opened her mouth, ready to let words fuelled by bad-temper and panic come pouring out at her best friend when she noticed the small smile playing on the corner of her lips. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke.

'You did that deliberately didn't you?'

'Of course I did.' Marlene sounded pleased with herself. 'I think your reaction answered the question quite nicely don't you? You were ready to yell at me for being so callous about your relationship with James, so what makes you think you wouldn't be able to stand up to anyone else who criticises you over it?'

'I know you're right.' Lily huffed out an exasperated breath. 'I know you are, just like I know that I need to learn to deal with it because it's not going to get any better once we're out of Hogwarts. I was just…burying my head in the sand I guess.' She noted Marlene's confused face and sighed. 'Muggle expression. Don't worry about it.'

She turned towards the Great Hall and squared her shoulders. 'Right. Great Hall. James. Right.' Marlene placed a gentle arm over her shoulders and steered her in the right direction. Every step felt like her feet were encased in lead; she had to force her body to move in the direction she wanted it to take.

Marlene pushed the doors open in front of them and Lily wanted to bolt. She forced herself to keep moving forwards and her eyes scanned the Gryffindor table for the one face she was always looking for when she came into a room. She spotted him about halfway along, moodily stabbing at his plate. He was surrounded by their friends - the other Marauders and her former roommates included – but there was a clear gap on other side of him. Sirius was sat directly opposite, clearly the only one willing to risk such close proximity to a volatile James, but even he wasn't looking at or speaking to his best mate.

Lily felt the butterflies in her stomach change somehow; they were still there, but now they represented a different sort of apprehension. As soon as she'd seen him her heart had lifted a little, or rather it had done its little jump that it was so fond of doing whenever he looked at her or smiled at her. Then she'd taken the time to properly register his posture and she'd realised looking at him how much damage had been done, and her heart pounded behind her ribcage as she began to wonder if it was possible to fix this, or if she had ruined the best thing in her life. After all this, the stumbling block wasn't _her_ anymore; it was whether he still wanted her.

She felt Marlene's arm leave her shoulder, and her best friend paused to give her arm a supportive pat before she left Lily and headed for a seat alongside Sirius. Lily drew one deep breath in and focused on trying to slow her hammering pulse. She walked slowly towards where her friends were sat and, ignoring the rest of them completely, she slid into the free space between Peter and James. The former gave her a supportive smile and slid a little further along the bench; Lily gave him a little smile back, trying to silently express her gratitude at his attempt to give them a little more privacy.

James didn't even acknowledge her presence. Unsure whether he hadn't realised she was there, or if he was simply ignoring her, Lily slid her hand across the gap between them and touched his hand lightly with hers.

'James?' Her voice was quiet, only audible to him. Even Sirius and Marlene sat opposite them wouldn't have been able to hear, not that they were listening.

'What is it Lil?' His voice was even quieter, and it held a sadness that she didn't think she'd ever heard before.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered back to him, because she could never have put into words how relieved she was, both at the fact that he looked up at her, and that he had used her name. She didn't think her heart could have taken it if he'd called her Evans right then. He didn't say anything in response, but at least he wasn't ignoring her. Keeping her voice low, she plunged on with her explanation before she could lose her nerve; she didn't seem to have too much of that famous Gryffindor courage today.

'I'm sorry I let those thoughts fester instead of talking to you and I'm sorry I let my insecurities come between us. I never, ever thought that you would think that I was ashamed of you; I didn't want you to be ashamed of _me_.'

She heard his cutlery fall to the table with a dull thunk and he turned slightly in his seat and inclined his body towards her. He opened his mouth to speak but she held up a hand and gave him a pleading look, and that was enough to silence him.

'I promise I will explain every stupid, idiotic thought I had later, I will answer any question, I won't hold anything back from you. Just…please, can we do this later? Not here.'

He nodded slowly, his eyes meeting hers for the first time since they'd rowed yesterday.

'Can I just ask you one question?' she whispered, holding up one finger and he nodded once more. It took her a moment to choke the words out, since they felt like they stuck somewhere between throat and mouth.

'Are you breaking up with me?'

He jerked his shoulders in a silent snort and looked at her. His eyes softened as he took in her face and the corners of his lips began to lift ever so slightly before he shook his head.

She nodded slowly, focusing on the feeling of happiness and sheer relief that was currently coursing its way through every inch of her. She concentrated on the feeling, letting it block out everything else around her.

'Ok. Good.'

Then she kissed him.

Her hands planted themselves on either side of his face and she pulled him towards her, her lips meeting his gently and a little uncertainly. She didn't want him to think she was trying to manipulate him into forgiving her by kissing him, but she did want to show him that she wasn't afraid any more. Or rather, that she wasn't going to let her worries control her anymore. And, in the interests of complete honesty, she just wanted to kiss him again and know that he didn't hate her.

She felt his sudden shock change into something else entirely as his mouth moved against hers in that way that seemed so familiar now, a way that she wasn't sure she could go without. She could smell his skin again now he was so close to her and then his hands came up and gripped her upper arms as he pulled her a little closer, never breaking the contact between their lips. Her arms were trapped between their bodies and her fingers found their way from his face into his hair as his fingertips pressed gently on her arms. It lasted only a few seconds before James removed his lips from hers and rested his forehead against hers. He lifted his hands from her arms and brought them up to cup her face, and used one of his thumbs to push a stray strand of hair away from her eyes.

They stayed like that for a moment, just relieved to be putting the fight behind them and finding even ground again. When they finally separated James reached for her hand, resting their clasped hands on the table between them, and Lily found she had no argument with that. She chanced a quick glance round the rest of the room.

There were a few sneers fixed on some faces at the Slytherin table, and she briefly made eye contact with Snape then looked away, more hurt than she would have liked to be by the disdain and contempt in his expression. A few curious glances were being sent their way, but otherwise there was very little reaction; she imagined it would take a while to spread and she was a little grateful for that. She turned her head back to her own table and didn't miss the quick wink that Sirius aimed her, or the smile that Remus was hiding behind his book.

Her friends were all trying very hard to be nonchalant, to show that they weren't in the least bit surprised or bothered by what had just happened, and she felt a surge of gratitude for their unspoken support. She could feel James' fingers tangled together with hers, and she couldn't even put into words how much stronger she felt just from that minimal contact. She had just kissed James Potter publicly – in the Great Hall, no less – and nothing had changed. Who knew.

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Of course, things hadn't stayed that simple. In the week and a half that followed their little scene, both Lily and James had to endure taunts, name-calling and an obscene amount of curious questions, at least one of which had been so personal that James had hexed the Ravenclaw fifth year who had asked it so hard and so inventively that even the boy's parents wouldn't have recognised him when he eventually made it to the hospital wing. Professor Flitwick had witnessed the event and had spoken quite firmly to James about the need for a Head Boy to set an example, but chose not to punish him further given the impertinent nature of the boy's question.

Other than that though, plenty of people had actually been nice about it; Dorcas Meadows, a seventh year Slytherin that Lily had always been quite friendly with had sat down next to her in charms immediately after breakfast and had loudly announced that it had been a long time coming, to Lily's embarrassment. Still she was happy to take support wherever she could get it; despite the nice or indifferent behaviour of a fair amount of the school, there were obvious exceptions. Lily was currently on the receiving end of a lot of vitriol from disappointed girls; still she found that this was easily ignored when she was with James – she didn't exactly pay a lot of attention to anyone else at those times – and it was more or less non-existent when she was around either Marlene or any of the other Marauders. Apparently their habit of indiscriminately hexing anyone aggravating preceded them.

The worst abuse came from an obvious section of Slytherin house. They targeted most of their insults at James; whether repeatedly throwing "mudblood" at her had lost some of its bite or whether they were happy to have the chance to needle at James Lily didn't know, but his temper had been steadily fraying and the strain of having to avoid retaliating was showing in his demeanour.

Almost two weeks after "the incident at breakfast" as Sirius and Peter had insisted on calling it for several days, the Marauders finally took retributive action for the comments that Lily and James had been receiving. Lily was sat in her usual spot next to James at the breakfast table listening to Frank read out particularly bizarre extracts from the Prophet while speculating on the mental stability of the editor. The majority of their friends were sat with them, but Peter, Remus and Sirius were conspicuous by their absence. When she had mentioned their absence to James he had simply shrugged and said that they had something important to do. When questioned further he had refused to say more, and when she had outright asked why he wasn't with them if it was so important, he had mumbled something that sounded like "deniability" under his breath.

It was unsurprising then, when all three missing Marauders arrived together, identical looks of contrived innocence on their faces. They slid into their seats and began to pile their plates with an amount of breakfast that only seventeen year-old boys could possibly expect to metabolise. Lily narrowed her eyes and inspected each of the boys, before zeroing in on Sirius' slight grin. Recognising his desire to boast as the weakest link, Lily leaned across the table towards him.

'Spill it Padfoot. What are you lot up to?'

'Us?' he asked innocuously, attempting to look offended. 'I'm hurt at the very _suggestion_…'

He was cut off by Lily waving a hand in the air. 'Oh, can the fake sincerity. What. Have. You. Lot. Been. Doing?

He grinned at her and glanced quickly around before sliding an empty bottle across the table towards her. She eyed him suspiciously, but took it and lowered it below table height to examine it.

**_Madame Moltar's Magical Hair Removal Potion!_**

**_Works Instantly On All Hair Types!_**

**_Just Coat Hair With Product And It Will Instantly Dissolve!_**

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She looked back up at him. 'And just what were you doing with this?'

He shot her a cheeky wink. 'Replacing as many Slytherin's shampoo with it as we could.'

Lily's mouth dropped open. Sirius roared with laughter at her dumbfounded expression and James hid his laughter behind one hand as best as he could.

'Don't worry Lily. Madame Pomfrey will be able to re-grow everyone's hair. It just takes a few hours.' Remus patted her hand and then turned back to his breakfast with a satisfied smile.

'So…' Lily pondered the situation. 'Anyone who washes their hair this morning will have to stay in the hospital wing today?'

Sirius snorted. 'Doubtful. Poppy's not going to let them clog up her beds juts because they haven't got any hair. They aren't ill, just bald. Besides by my estimate it should affect about sixty of them, so there wouldn't be room anyway. Nope. They'll just have to go to class. Bald.'

He triumphantly bit into the hash brown he was waving in the air and smiled at her as he chewed.

'Also' piped up Pete from alongside them 'we don't reckon they'll figure out it was the shampoo straight away, which means the same thing should happen for a few days. This is one of our longer-lasting pranks. We have high hopes for it.'

'And Pete and I have a side bet going.' Sirius spoke through a mouthful of food, ignoring the look of disgust it earned him from Remus. 'I bet him that Snape doesn't ever lose his hair at any point in this prank. Frankly I like my chances. I mean, does it look like he bothers washing his hair? Money's mine Pete.'

Lily looked at James who was pointedly not meeting her gaze. She sighed and handed the bottle back to Sirius. 'Make sure you destroy the evidence.' He gave her a cheerful salute and continued to massacre his food.

She bent down to kiss James on the cheek, lingering slightly longer than was necessary. 'I'm off, I need to grab a book I forgot. I'll see you in DADA.' She waved a hand vaguely at the rest of her friends and headed out of the hall.

As she walked up the staircase towards the Head's dorms she noticed several people scurrying towards the hospital wing from the Slytherin dorms, all of them wearing cloaks with the hoods pulled up, or with blankets or similar items wrapped round their heads. She did her very best to keep a solemn Head Girl expression, but when Joanna Holtbrook came rushing past her and her cloak slipped to reveal her bald head shining under the lights, Lily lost all sense of composure and she leant against the banister and collapsed into howling fits of giggles.

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It was surprisingly difficult to do work, James thought, when your eyes kept wandering to your girlfriend's legs. They may have been encased in jeans, but they were still very nice legs. He was lying flat out on his stomach with a book propped open in front of him, watching her wave them lazily in the air as she lay in the exact same position next to Marlene, and nibbling on the feather of his quill when Remus hit him across the head with a book.

'We aren't exactly making a lot of progress here Prongs. Think you could focus?'

'No. My brain is dead. I have no more thoughts left, I have exhausted my lifetime supply of brainpower, I have no more thinking left in me. Does that answer your question?' James allowed his head to fall forward onto the open pages in front of him. 'I have done twice as much homework as you lot have this week, can't you just do this without me?'

'It's a joint project. So no.' Said Alice grumpily, pulling the book out from under his face so his head hit the carpet with an unceremonious thud. He sat up and glared at her, pushing his glasses more firmly back on his face as he did so.

'I think they are trying to kill us with overwork. It's the only reasonable explanation.'

Remus snorted. 'It's NEWT year. Did you think it was going to be that easy?'

'I was hoping.'

Lily rolled onto her side to look at him, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the stain that showed in them. 'Let's take a break guys. Maybe get a snack from the kitchen?'

'I'll go.' Peter volunteered. 'Can I borrow the cloak Prongs?'

James waved a hand vaguely. 'Knock yourself out.' Peter grabbed the article in question and headed out the door. Remus stood up and walked over to sit in the window seat while Alice moved to sit next to Marlene.

Lily stayed where she was, watching James' tired expression as he half-heartedly pulled a book towards him. She moved over so she was sat behind him and pulled the book out of his hands, throwing it back onto the pile with the others. Ignoring his amused expression she began to use her fingertips to rub circles on his temples. 'Taking a break remember? Give yourself five minutes.'

James groaned. 'What wouldn't I have given for a time-turner this week? I've had so much work it's unbelievable.'

Lily's hands continued their gentle ministrations. 'What possessed you to take one more NEWT than everyone else anyway? I mean, everyone knows you're appallingly clever, so it's not like you have anything to prove.'

'Look good on my application to the Auror Academy.' James mumbled; he was having trouble focusing on her voice because he was close to being lulled to sleep by the gentle motions of her hands. As soon as he'd spoken though, her hands froze briefly, then continued much more slowly than before.

'You want to be an auror?' she asked quietly, and there was a different tone to her voice now, but James couldn't read her feelings in it.

'Yeah. Haven't I ever mentioned it?'

'No. I don't think so. Isn't it a little dangerous?'

James turned to face her and caught her hands in his. 'I guess so. But then, I used to think I wanted to play Quidditch professionally, and that's pretty hazardous too.' He dropped one hand and began to gently massage the one he was still holding. 'I think I'm just not cut out for mundane, safe work you know? Imagine me behind a desk.' He shuddered at the very thought but his expression quickly became very serious again as he made eye contact with her, noting the worry that seemed to swirl in her eyes. 'And with the way things are with the Death Eaters and everything…I want to do something worthwhile, something that makes a difference.'

He waited patiently for her reaction, giving her the opportunity to organise her thoughts since he'd apparently blind-sided her. He couldn't believe that he hadn't told her his ambitions before; you would think in all the discussions they'd had in the course of the last seven or eight months it would have come up. Then again, thinking over past conversations, very few of them had touched on the future. They'd discussed their childhoods, their families, their interests, but conversation had rarely turned to what either of them wanted or planned when they left Hogwarts. He thought he'd detected a slight panicky feeling from her when he'd made that joke about eloping the other day, and now he thought he knew why; Merlin knew, Lily Evans liked to know what to expect and the prospect of facing an uncertain future must be terrifying for her, knowing she was trapped between two worlds.

When she did speak, she did so slowly and with care. 'I understand. You've always been inclined to get involved. I just…wish you weren't thinking of something so dangerous.'

'Everything's dangerous at the moment Lil. Once we're outside of Hogwarts, we're all targets. I just…want to change things if I can.'

She smiled at him; it was a sad little curve of her lips, but a smile nonetheless. 'I know. You wouldn't be you if you weren't considering something like this. I just hadn't really let myself think about what happens next.'

James cocked his head to one side as he switched his massaging to her other hand. 'No? You've not thought about what you want to do after school finishes?'

'Oh no, I have, I just…don't know. Nothing really jumps out at me. I've thought about healing, or maybe potion brewing, but nothing really excites me that much. That's why I only took mainstream, widely-recognised NEWTs. No point in taking something specialised if I have no idea what to do with it.' She smiled at him again and reached her free hand out to push some hair out of his eyes and he turned his face so he could plant a kiss on her palm. Truth be told, he didn't want her to do _anything_; he wanted to squirrel her away in Potter Manor where no-one could touch her, where she would be safe and protected always when he wasn't with her. He wanted her to be there when he came home, safe and whole and happy. But she was Lily, and doing nothing was never going to be an option for someone like Lily, someone as brave and clever as she was. And if he was truly honest with himself, all that was part of why he loved her.

'Well it's not like you have to rush to decide. We've got all the time in the world to figure things out.'

She smiled at him, a real smile this time. 'I know. And it'll take a couple of years for you to qualify from the Academy anyway, so I can suspend my nervous fits until then.'

'Ah. Well.' James stopped rubbing her hands and shifted uncomfortably, stretching his legs out and trying very hard not to make eye contact.

'James?' Lily asked questioningly. Deciding it was better to get it out now James steeled himself and took up both her hands in his again.

'See the thing is, recruitment for the Academy is down. I guess everyone knows the stakes are a bit higher these days. They don't want to reduce the entry requirements, because Dad and Moody both agree that under-qualified aurors are worse than no aurors at all. So, they are creating a fast-track program. People who are accepted to the Academy can choose to take additional testing, and if you pass, you do accelerated training and qualify in six to eight months. That way they can keep the numbers up without jeopardising the quality of recruits.'

Lily seemed briefly lost for words, but she eventually managed to get a question out. 'So you could be a trained, working auror by Christmas?'

'Maybe. If I passed the testing and completed the accelerated training quickly enough.'

'Right.' She choked the answer out and fell silent. She seemed pale, James thought, and with that in mind he pulled her towards him and settled her onto his lap, hands running gently through her hair.

'I guess I'm going to have to worry sooner rather than later then huh?'

James turned his head to one side and rested his cheek on the top of her head. 'It's all hypothetical right now Lil. Don't worry before you have to.'

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, until James cleared his throat. 'I'm not supposed to know about it. Dad told me, but they aren't announcing it to the general public. Academy recruits will be offered the choice then be required not to tell anyone outside the Ministry.'

'If you're telling me I can't tell anyone, you don't need to worry. I won't.' Lily interrupted.

'That's not what I was going to say. I was going to ask you if you think I should tell any of the others who want to join up, like Frank. People I trust not to say anything.'

Lily fell silent in his arms again. 'Yes. Give them a chance to prepare. I'll feel much happier about you doing this if people like Frank are doing it with you.' James' arms tightened around her, pulling her warmth and scent in a little closer.

It seemed incredible to be discussing this; to be calmly considering the fact that their lives would be in danger once the minute they were out from under Dumbledore's protection. Sitting inside the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by friends and worrying about essays and deadlines, it seemed insane to think that in less than a year other people's lives could be in his hands. But he needed to do it, he needed to help. More importantly, he thought, pulling Lily further up against him, he needed to know how to keep her safe. If that meant hunting Voldemort, then that's what he would do.

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**********A/N: NO Jily breakup. Just no.  
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**********Review and make my day people. Just know that I love you all anyway, whether you do or not.  
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	29. Chapter 29 - Violence

******A/N: An update ahead of schedule! It's been a good week. I was hoping to have this finished by Tuesday, but it's done early so here you go. You're welcome.  
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******I'm going out of town next weekend, so probably will not be updating again until the weekend after; if I can get something up sooner, I promise I will.**

******On another note, ****I now have a tumblr account; it's scared-of-clouds (.tumblr .com) FF won't let me post the link.  
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******It**'s _very_ recent, and very much a work in progress, but I will post teasers and updates, so if you want to know how long you're going to be waiting for a chapter, or if there's just a question you want to ask, feel free!

**Feel free to PM me on here for that matter, if there's anything you want to know, and I will do my best to answer!**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter, I'm actually pretty happy with it for a change! Usually I'm hyper critical of my own chapters.**

**I'll shut up now.**

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The last few days in February turned cold, as if winter couldn't go without taking one final swipe. Lily shivered in her place at the front of one of the stands at the Quidditch pitch, wrapping James' Quidditch scarf more firmly around her neck. The second Gryffindor game of the year, against Ravenclaw, was due to start in the next few minutes, and the teams were both already out and flying warm-up laps. Even though she couldn't make out exactly what he was saying, she could hear James yelling at his teammates as they flew. He'd been insane for the last two weeks, forcing his team into practicing every day for at least two hours, and when challenged about his behaviour by anyone, he would immediately point out that Slytherin had won both their matches so far, and if they lost to Ravenclaw they would almost certainly slip to third place. The Gryffindor team had_ never_ been in third place in all the time James had been on it, and he'd be damned if he allowed it to happen now. Therefore, he'd ignored every complaint and doggedly continued with his pursuit of Quidditch glory.

There was a commotion in the crowd around her and Alice and Peter arrived, shoving their way through to the railings at the front. Remus obligingly moved over to make room for the new arrivals, throwing apologetic looks at Emma and Mary as they were forced into a rather small space in the very corner of the stand.

'Has anyone hit him yet?' Asked Peter as James and Sirius flew past, James yelling last minute instructions into his best mate's ear as he gesticulated wildly with one hand.

'No.' Lily answered. 'But I reckon it's only a matter of time. You'd get pretty even odds on whether it'll be Sirius or Marly who does sock him one though, they both look pretty hacked off.'

'Smart money's on Marly. She reckons she has frostbite in unspeakable places from spending so much time practicing in this cold weather.' Remus put in conversationally. 'I didn't ask for details, but I can imagine which parts are sore, and it would make me want to hex him too.'

Lily let out an unladylike snort of laughter, then frantically tried to block the mental images Remus' words had conjured up. James flew past again, this time flying next to Frank and making sweeping arm gestures as he spoke rapidly to his fellow chaser. Frank nodded good-naturedly and James slapped him on the back before noticing that Kenneth's pace was flagging and zooming off to remonstrate loudly with him.

'Your boyfriend is mental.' Peter raised an eyebrow at Lily, who shrugged unconcernedly. He turned slightly to make eye contact with Alice. 'And yours is the most even-tempered bloke I've ever met.' Alice's face melted into a goofy grin as Frank looked over at her from the other side of the pitch and sent her a mock salute. She waved madly back, leaning out over the railing and completely ignoring the fact that she was crushing Emma and Mary further back into the corner.

Lily elbowed him in the side. 'You'll get no sense out of her. She's in love.' She drew a heart shape in the air with the index fingers of both hands.

'You're one to talk.' Peter snorted. 'Honestly, I don't know what's the matter with you all. Even Moony; he's been sending Julia these goofy looks for weeks. There must be something in the bloody water.' He moved slightly to allow someone to squeeze past him. 'I'm happy to report that I remain immune to the outbreak of slushiness.'

'I don't think you could suggest that Marly and Sirius are _slushy_.' Lily mused quietly, watching Sirius deliberately knock sideways into Marlene as he flew past her, earning himself an _extremely _rude hand gesture from the lady in question.

'No, but they are still disgusting to be around. Just in a different way. Too handsy by half.' He shuddered dramatically. 'And the point stands; I can't get a word of sense out of any of you.'

Lily laughed again and linked her arm through his as down on the pitch the referee whistled for the players to position themselves for the start of the match.

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The first hour had been fast and furious. The score was 90-120 in Ravenclaw's favour, and the battle was becoming increasingly frantic. The Ravenclaw chasers were no real match for James, Frank and Gregory on their own, but their beaters were _phenomenal_; they had superb aim and worked seamlessly together to target players. Both new recruits this year, no-one had seen much of them in the match against Slytherin last term, but they'd really upped their game for this one. James had been hit by bludgers twice and was having to dodge regularly to avoid further injury, preventing him from taking the initiative with the scoring runs as he normally did. He was favouring his right shoulder and Frank had blood pouring from one ear.

Alice was biting her nails down to the quick as she watched Frank seize the quaffle and dive his broom diagonally towards the ground, narrowly avoiding taking another bludger to the back. The noise in the Gryffindor stand was deafening as students screamed encouragement, cheering as Frank passed to James, who looped round another Chaser and threw a high overhead pass back to Frank. There was an enormous groan from the stands when the well-aimed quaffle was saved by the Ravenclaw keeper.

Play resumed, and the cheers of encouragement continued until there was a collective intake of breath as a bludger collided with Gregory's leg and it bent backwards at a sickening angle. He lost control of his broom as he clutched at his injured limb with both hands; without him steering, the broom began to drift at high speed towards the hard wood sides of the nearest stand.

Lily and Remus both moved their hands to their wands, ready to use them at a moment's notice, but James was there faster than either of them could have reacted. Reaching out a hand he seized the front of Gregory's broom and fought it for a moment until he gained control, towing it towards the ground behind his own broom, signalling a time-out with his other hand. As soon as Gregory's good leg made contact with the ground he toppled off his broom and rolled onto his back. The rest of the team landed around him and rushed towards them. There was a brief cry of pain as Frank gestured his wand at Gregory's leg and the broken bone visibly jerked back into line, but then he was up and joining his team mates in the huddle as if nothing had happened.

'That's another one that's mental.' Commented Peter. 'Bet he gets Captain once Prongs leaves. He shares that "injury? What injury?" attitude with him.'

Lily slapped him lightly on the arm, then turned her attention back towards the pitch where the team were rising up into the air again.

'Marls, sweetheart…' James began as he rose up into the air alongside her.

'I know, I know.' She interrupted crossly. 'Get the snitch and get it now. Keep those damn beaters off of me and I might have a chance.' She shot off across the pitch at high speed, leaning almost flat along the length of her broom as she scoured the air for that elusive flash of gold.

'Pads!' James flew over and caught up with his best mate, pulling in close to him. 'Stay on Marls. Ignore everything else, just make damn sure she doesn't have to worry about anything but that sodding snitch.'

Sirius shot him an incredulous look and James rolled his eyes. 'I know, I know it sounds mad. But we have to get that snitch, their beaters are too good and their Keeper's better than ours too. Wood is doing well but it's still his first season and the inexperience shows. Steele on the other hand…' - James nodded towards the beefy seventh year hovering around the Ravenclaw goal – 'has been keeping against me for three years now, and he's doing a damn good job of it today. We can't score enough goals, we have to focus on keeping their score down and finding that bloody snitch. Marls is our priority.'

Sirius nodded his understanding and shot off after Marlene, flying a defensive pattern round her. Phillip Gordon – who was trying his best to be impartial while commentating on his own house – noted this change in approach almost immediately and announced that Gryffindor had obviously stepped up their search for the snitch in an effort to end the game before Ravenclaw could make too much of their advantage.

There was an enormous cheer from the Ravenclaw stands and James spun around in the air just in time to see one of their chasers sink another goal. He groaned inwardly. 90 – 130. They_ needed _that snitch before the score line got away from them. Noting the troubled look on Wood's face, James flew over to console his keeper; he was doing well after all, Ravenclaw were just a little too strong today.

He had just managed to offer a few words of encouragement when a loud crack caught his attention; Kenneth had swung his bat and hit a bludger so hard that when it made contact with the back of a Ravenclaw beater's head it knocked him off his broom entirely. One of the chasers dived to catch him and the two of them landed safely; James shot a quick glance at the referee who was waving play on. Ravenclaw were down a beater, and at least for the next minute a chaser. This might be their only opportunity to try and get the match back on a more even footing. He was still convinced that a snitch catch was their only hope of winning, but more goals would improve their standing in the overall race for the cup.

He scanned the field for Frank and found his fellow chaser already heading directly for the Ravenclaw chaser who was in possession of the quaffle. As the chaser tried to offload the ball to his only available teammate, Frank flew between them and snatched it out of the air, flying straight down the centre of the field towards the goalposts. Gregory arrived alongside him and the two of them began to weave their way through the opposition players. Steele was so focused on the two approaching Gryffindors that he failed to notice their Captain making his way up the other side of the pitch. As they approached the goal, Frank swung his arm as if he was about to pass to Gregory, then suddenly switched directions and hurled the quaffle directly at James, who had slipped unnoticed behind the keeper. The quaffle was through the hoop before Steele had even turned. 100-130.

The third Ravenclaw chaser was back in the air, but the beater was still down receiving medical attention. James chanced a look around the pitch for Marlene; he located her easily, Sirius still flying lazy loops around her to allow her to focus on her search without fear of being hit. At first glance he thought she was flying her usual search pattern but then he registered a subtle difference. Following her eye line he thought he saw a flash of gold near the Ravenclaw seeker; she'd seen the snitch, but was trying to position herself for a catch without giving away the location of the snitch to the opposition seeker who was much closer to it than she was. Grinning in appreciation of her tactics, James turned his attention back to the rest of his team and was pleased to see Wood make an excellent save from a well-aimed shot and then send the quaffle directly into the waiting hands of Gregory.

Kenneth was flying loops around the pitch, engaged in a fierce battle of bludger hits with the remaining Ravenclaw beater, and Frank had joined Gregory as they made their way up the pitch again. James urged his broom on faster and dropped in on Gregory's right. The three of them continued their advance, passing the quaffle and weaving round the opposition chasers who were doing their best to defend in the absence of their beater. Frank threw the quaffle to Gregory, who was forced to dive to one side to avoid a bludger; as the quaffle began to drop James pushed his broom faster and snatched it seconds before it dropped out of play. He looped round the Ravenclaw who was marking him and aimed his broom forwards, relying on its faster acceleration to outpace his opponent and headed straight for the goal, aware he was being tailed by at least two players. As he drew level with the posts, he slowed a little and waited for Steele to begin to drift towards him, as he knew from experience he would. Once he saw the keeper move away from his posts, he hurled the quaffle backwards, throwing it high over his head and hoping like his hell his teammates had been following his play.

Swinging his broom around to look, James punched the air as he saw the quaffle sail into Frank's waiting hands, which touched it for barely a second before he'd hurled it through the far left goal. 110 – 130. Hearing the crowd gasp and the commentator's voice rise with excitement, James turned on the spot, scouring the pitch for the cause of the commotion until he caught sight of Marlene far below him, diving almost vertically down, Sirius following her and blocking _both_ Ravenclaw beater's as best he could; James hadn't even realised that their opponents were back to a full complement of players.

Realising that play was continuing around him, he pulled his eyes away from Marlene and tried to direct his team, but his focus was on the voice of Phillip Gordon as he reported Marly's progress, his ears straining as he listened for the one phrase he was hoping to hear…

'McKinnon's got the snitch! It's a Gryffindor win!'

And there it was. Seeing Marly flying towards him, arm outstretched as she waggled the snitch she was holding out for him to see, he was so happy he went with his instinct and dive-bombed into her. The rest of his team followed his example and they all collided in mid-air, laughing hysterically as they sank to the ground in an odd sort of victory huddle.

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Alice twirled her wand between her fingers as she walked the well-trodden path back to the castle from the Quidditch pitch. After the match the majority of people had left quickly; the Gryffindors in particular had been anxious to get back to whatever party was bound to kick off in the common room.

It had been Frank's turn to stay after the match and deal with the equipment – James used a rota system so no-one could complain about doing it – and she had stayed to help him. When he'd realised how long it was taking him – it had been a rough match, so the equipment was a little more banged up than usual – he'd told her to head back without him and he'd come up as soon as he could.

So here she was, slowly making her way back to the castle and hoping that if she walked slowly enough Frank would catch up with her before she reached Gryffindor tower; it would be nice to have him to herself for a few minutes before he was engulfed by the victory party, as he inevitably would be.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the dark shadow detach itself from the trees at the side of the path until it appeared directly in front of her; she jumped violently and almost dropped her wand. Gripping it slightly more firmly she held it out in front of defensively as she looked at the dark figure blocking her path.

'Lumos!' She cast the spell and a flare of pure white light lit up the end of her wand, illuminating the pudgy face of Augustus Corbin, seventh year Slytherin. Despite the light from her wand, his face was still half in shadow, giving him an eerie, somewhat menacing look. He looked her up and down before his face broke into a cruel smile.

'A little blood traitor, all alone. Where are your friends girly?'

'Get out of my way.' Alice kept her voice low and steady, trying to keep any tremble of fear she might have felt from showing in it as she raised her wand a little higher.

'I don't think so.' Another voice came from behind her and William Stonevich, a Slytherin from the year below moved out of the shadows and stood behind her and Alice turned to the side slightly, in an effort to keep both of them in view at the same time.

'Your parents…' Corbin began, reaching out his wand and running the tip down the centre of her chest. 'Your parents turned down a _very_ generous offer from the Dark Lord. That has consequences. For them, and for you. We're here to… _explain_ that.'

Stonevich chuckled, a low throaty sound as he moved up closer to her. Alice gripped her wand more firmly as she registered her situation. Realising that she wasn't going to get out of this without a fight, she resolved her best chance was to make the first move. Trying to remember James' lessons on defence, she silently cast a shield charm over herself before quickly brandishing her wand in Corbin's direction.

'Expelliaramus!'

His wand flew easily out of his hand and towards her, but before she could grab it she felt a heavy weight hit her from behind. Stonevich pushed her to the ground easily; her shield would only defend against magical attacks and he was nearly twice her weight. As she hit the ground she rolled and came back to a kneeling position, groping around on the cold ground with her free hand to see if she could find where Corbin's wand had landed.

In the moment it had taken her to right herself, Stonevich had already thrown the wand back at Corbin, and it was two against one again.

Holding her wand out in front of her, she quickly scrambled got to her feet, being sure to watch both of them for any sign of movement. No sooner had she regained her footing than Corbin shot a hex directly at her; he was using a non-verbal technique, so she had no idea what he had used, but she very much doubted it was anything as harmless as a bat bogey hex. She deflected it quickly, staggering slightly as she fought to keep her balance, and it hit a nearby tree, blasting off a significant chunk of bark as it landed. A quick twirl of her wand sent a stunning spell at Stonevich, who had obviously been expecting her to retaliate at Corbin, because he grunted with surprise before he dived to the ground to avoid it. As he hit the floor she threw a quick incarcerous spell at him before darting round behind a tree in an attempt to shield herself from any spells that Corbin threw at her.

Stonevich wriggled in his bonds, trying to squirm his way free, and Corbin was momentarily distracted from her, giving her just enough time to aim a trip jinx at him. It missed and he turned his attention back to her, aiming spell after spell at her with furious speed.

She was taken by surprise – Corbin had never seemed particularly skilled in class, but it seemed he may have been hiding his abilities. Either that or the anger caused by being attacked by a _blood-traitor_ was pushing him to greater effort than normal, but whatever the reason, his hexes were coming hard and fast and she was starting to have to focus so hard on deflecting them that she was struggling to aim any back.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Stonevich manage to release a hand from his magical bindings and he began to reach for his wand which was lying on the ground near his head. As she tried to re-bind him, while watching for Corbin's attacks and maintaining her shield, she felt her foot sink into boggy ground and she lost her balance momentarily; it was long enough for Corbin to hit her with a flipendo.

She felt her body fly backwards, felt the jarring contact with the ground in every bone. Her head cracked on the frozen ground and her eyes began to water at the searing pain, but she kept her grip on her wand and held it defensively as she tried to regain her bearings. She dimly registered Stonevich being released and as her head began to clear enough for her to think properly again she became aware of both Slytherins standing over her.

Corbin raised his wand and pointed it at her. 'Imperio.'

She felt the curse hit, felt the nagging compulsion to obey burn its way down into her brain. While she'd never experienced an Imperius curse before, she knew how it had been described by others and somewhere in the part of her mind that was still conscious, still _her_, she knew this wasn't a particularly strong one; it seemed to lack the force necessary to _make_ her obey. The compulsion to do as she was told was there, but the_ need_ to actually do it wasn't. She pushed as hard as she could against the fog creeping across her brain, against the pressure to do as she was bid. That little voice was running through her head, telling her to obey, to follow orders, to just _give in_, but Alice Fortesque was stronger than it, she **was**, and she _wasn't going to give in_.

She heard a shout of anger somewhere to her right, heard a familiar voice yelling in fury and then she felt the pressure release, her mind cleared and she was up on her feet, ignoring the ringing pain in her head and thinking of nothing but her own anger. She hurled a curse at Stonevich, who was stood still in shock, not looking in her direction, not even lifting a wand in his own defence. She saw the stunner hit, saw it lift him off his feet and he crashed backwards into a tree and then lay still.

She swung around to look for Corbin and saw him a few feet away, stumbling backwards as he scrambled to get away from an enraged Frank who was systematically stripping away his defences and firing hex after hex at him, his face a cold mask of fury. Uncertain as to whether she should intervene before Frank did something a little too permanent – she didn't_ want_ to, she wanted Frank to hex Corbin into next week, but she also didn't want Frank to have that on his conscience, or for him to get into trouble for it – she took a few hesitant steps towards them.

'Frank?' she kept her voice soft and low, recognising that his anger made him unpredictable right now.

Frank sent one last hex at Corbin, and it obliterated the Slytherin's hastily erected shield charm, knocking him onto his backside. Frank ripped his wand from his hand and snapped it in half with one hand before placing the tip of his wand hard into Corbins' fleshy throat.

'Did he hurt you?' Frank's voice was surprisingly quiet and calm for someone wearing that facial expression.

She swallowed hard. 'No. No, he didn't get the opportunity to.'

'But he was going to. He_ wanted_ to.' Frank's wand dug in a little tighter and Corbin let out a little whimper as he felt the pressure against his windpipe increase.

Alice's hand tentatively touched the back of Frank's wand hand. 'But he didn't. I didn't let him, and you didn't let him.' She felt the muscles in his arm begin to relax, saw the tension in his face withdraw a little. He pulled his wand away from Corbins' throat and turned his head to look at Alice. She offered him a small smile, then stepped up to his side and, without the tiniest bit of sympathy or remorse, she fired off a particularly brutal stunning hex and let out a little sigh of satisfaction when Corbin's head hit the ground with a thud.

Frank looked slightly shocked just for a moment before he laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. She curled into him, relieved he was there now that the adrenaline of the fight was wearing off, leaving the fear and exhaustion with free reign over her body and emotions. She couldn't stop the trembling - though it wasn't as severe as it might have been - but she kept her breathing even, just as James and Remus had taught everyone, and she leaned into Frank's side, feeling that warmth, that solid dependability that was just so very _Frank_.

They stayed there for a few minutes before Frank planted a kiss on her head and loosened his grip on her.

'We should get you to the hospital wing. You got a bump to the head, and there's no knowing what other after effects there could be.'

'What about them?' Alice asked doubtfully, peering at the slumped bodies of her attackers. Frank flicked his wand at Stonevich, levitating him until he was propped against a tree trunk; a further twist of his wand bound the boy's figure to the tree. He repeated the process on Corbin, then nodded, obviously satisfied with his work. He turned back to Alice again. 'They'll keep. We'll send someone.'

He snaked an arm round her back until it rested on her hipbone and tugged her into his side; her arm slipped easily into position round his waist and they began the walk to the castle, a walk they'd done hundreds of times in exactly same way.

'Alice?' Frank's voice was soft and quiet, but there seemed to be a burning curiosity behind it.

'Hmm?' She indicated that she was listening and waited for him to continue.

'Have you ever thought of being an auror?'

Alice laughed then stopped when he didn't join in. 'You were being serious?'

'Yeah. I mean, why not? You handled yourself brilliantly there, you're taking all the right NEWTs and you're going to get excellent scores. I just wondered if you'd ever thought of it.'

'Well, yeah I guess I have. It's a really worthwhile career, and it's a way of fighting all this blood purity shit but…' She trailed off.

'But?' Frank encouraged.

'It's just…so competitive. I never really thought I'd stand a chance.'

Frank laughed and squeezed her a little tighter. 'Believe me, you have a chance. A really good chance. And actually, while we're on the subject, Potter heard something really interesting from his dad the other day, about fast-tracking applications. I'm applying. You should too.'

Alice smiled up at him. 'Then we can be a kick-ass auror team huh?'

'Damn right.'

They continued their way up to the castle and Madame Pomfrey's hospital wing, identical smiles on their faces and a comfortable silence between them.

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'Excuse me Professor, but Professor Dumbledore would like to see the Head Boy and Head Girl as soon as possible.' The first year looked absolutely terrified about delivering such a message to Professor McGonagall, especially in the middle of her NEWT class of seventh years. She blurted out the message, looking down at the floor the entire time and bolting from the room the minute she was given permission to.

'Firsties! I'm sure they keep getting smaller!' exclaimed Sirius, who had been watching the girl with interest the entire time she'd been stood there; it was entirely possible that this had contributed to her nervousness.

'Thank you Mr Black, I don't believe we need your observations on the matter.' Professor McGonagall interrupted. 'Mr Potter, Miss Evans, on your way.'

The two Head students gathered their things and left the classroom, heading for Dumbledore's office at a relatively quick pace.

'Do you think it's important?' Lily reached for James' hand and clasped it in her own.

'Can't see him pulling us out of class unless it is.'

'Probably bad news then.'

James smiled down at her. 'You're such an optimist.'

She slapped him gently, a smile breaking out onto her face and he began to swing their clasped hands as they walked, becoming more and more exaggerated in his gestures until she laughed out loud.

When they reached Dumbledore's office they had a brief row outside about who was supposed to be keeping track of the passwords, but eventually they had to settle for listing off the names of sweets until they found one that worked – Peppermint Puffskeins. James knocked and pushed the door open without waiting for an answer, leaving Lily slightly dumbfounded at this apparent familiarity.

'James, Lily, please sit down.' The Headmaster placed the scroll he'd been perusing down on his desk and indicated the two armchairs that faced it. They sat and waited expectantly, but for a moment their headmaster just observed them closely.

He clasped his hands together and leant forward. 'I have just expelled Augustus Corbin from this school, and placed William Stonevich on permanent detention.'

James eyebrows had shot up so far they had almost reached his hairline. 'I'm sure both of their fathers had something to say about that sir.'

Dumbledore chuckled. 'They had rather a lot to say actually, just not a great deal that I would choose to listen to.' His face sobered. 'The attack on Miss Fortesque was unforgivable. I will not tolerate unprovoked violence - especially not involving use of Unforgivable curses - at my school, regardless of who is carrying it out. I would like to arrange for you to speak to some of the younger year groups to reiterate that point; a less formal warning than a teacher doing so, but a warning nonetheless.'

'Of course Professor. We'd be happy too.' Lily responded easily, while James frowned.

'Do you think that'll help Professor? I mean, there's been a lot of trouble in the school this year. I honestly think half the problem is that people are so jumpy they are flinging hexes before they've even thought about what they're doing. I'm not saying there aren't genuine problems of some students being violent – what happened to Alice proves that – but I doubt people who are that way inclined will listen to _us _of all people. I'm not sure we'll do much good in either case.'

Dumbledore surveyed him, a hint of something akin to sadness in his eyes. 'That's true James. Hatreds and prejudices are so ingrained in some that no words can root them out. That does not mean we should give up on them, that we should not try. If it prevents even one young person heading down that slippery path, it will be worth it. Mr Black would agree, I think.'

He leaned backwards in his seat. 'As for the other issue, I do rather agree with you. The students are aware that there have been some unsavoury goings on in the castle this year. It pains me that some of my students do not feel safe when they walk these halls, and they feel the need to attempt their own defences.'

He rose from his chair and wandered over to his bookshelves. 'What do you suggest James? What would make our students less inclined to er…hex first, ask questions later, to borrow from Mr Black's lexicon?'

James looked helplessly at Lily, who shrugged. 'Er, perhaps additional staff presence in the corridors between classes and meals?'

'Maybe we should extend the out of bounds areas.' Lily added in. 'People wouldn't be easy targets if we made sure everyone was using only approved routes and that those were well lit and patrolled.'

'Hmm.' Dumbledore removed a book from his bookcase and returned to his desk, flipping the book open and rifling through it quickly. 'Both very interesting suggestions, and I will give them due consideration. I do have one idea which I believe we will implement immediately.'

He beamed at them, and Lily and James waited patiently. Dumbledore gestured to the open pages of his book as he responded with two cryptic words. 'Emergency Prefects.'

Lily was the first to find her voice. 'I'm sorry Professor, we don't understand.'

'Not surprising my dear girl, it's a power that hasn't been used for, oh almost forty years now. In times of turmoil, the Headmaster can declare the need for the Head Boy and Girl to have additional help, beyond the usual prefects. The school may therefore recruit _additional _prefects, using any criteria the Headmaster wishes.'

Lily turned to look at James to find that he was already staring at her, somewhat dumbstruck. The Professor continued. 'I am happy for you to find me, say, an additional 12 prefects to help us provide more supervision; hopefully, we can make our school a safer place by doing so.'

James recovered first and leant forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. 'It's a good idea Professor, but should we really be the ones selecting them? I'm sure there are plenty of students – and staff for that matter - that would object to that.'

'Of course I will make the final selection.' Replied Dumbledore. 'I merely wish you to provide me with a list of suggestions; trustworthy people who can be relied upon to take action when necessary and who believe in the equal value of our students regardless of their background.' He paused again and regarded them both with blue eyes twinkling with barely suppressed amusement. 'I rather think that you might already have a list of such students.'

Lily drew in a sharp intake of breath. He couldn't mean what she thought he did; the list she'd made at the very first meeting all those months ago, the list that was only stored on the parchment she'd enchanted to keep the names of their friends safe. He couldn't possibly…

There was a brief moment of silence where nerves hung palpably in the air and then James started to laugh. 'I should have known we wouldn't be able to get anything past you Professor.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'Actually James, I believe you have managed to get a great deal past me during your time here, but I admit, I tend not to delve into your, er, activities. In this instance, however, I had more than one reason to be interested, and I indulged myself and my curiosity a little.'

Noting the curious expressions on the faces of the pair, he continued to speak. 'Let me be frank; yes, I know about your, shall we say organisation? And I have allowed you to continue for two reasons. Firstly, I was pleased and more than a little proud that students of mine believed in equality strongly enough to do something about it independently, and I wholeheartedly approve of the methods you have employed to try and keep each other safe.'

James and Lily exchanged brief glances before turning their attention back towards the Professor.

'And secondly, it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to disapprove or to act to stop you considering I myself recently founded just such an organisation for those of us who wish to fight Voldemort.'

James blew out a long breath, while Lily remained frozen in her seat. Had that actually happened? Had Dumbledore just confided in them about the existence of a secret resistance to Voldemort?

'It's called the Order of the Phoenix, and it exists to resist the bigotry and malice of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Your parents are both members James. I'm sure they would not object to me telling you that.'

James nodded slowly, tugging his lip between his teeth as he tried to adjust his thinking to take in the new information that was screaming through his mind.

'When I deduced the existence of your group – your magical protection is excellent Lily, I was unable to find a shred of hard evidence to support my theory – I began to observe the behaviour of some of my pupils more carefully. What I saw gave me hope for a new generation to join us in the Order, to continue the fight when those of us who are older cannot. Even as some of my students began to be seduced by the lure of the Dark Arts, others choose to fight against it regardless of the cost.'

Dumbledore paused and took a breath before continuing. 'I would like to ask you not to speak of this to anyone until I say otherwise. It's essential for the protection of our members.' He waited until both James and Lily had nodded before he continued.

'I would also like you both to give some consideration to joining us when you leave school…don't answer now.' He held up a hand to forestall comment, obviously anticipating James' protests that he already knew he wanted to join. 'When you finish school we will revisit the question. In the meantime, I would like you to consider whether any of your friends would like to join; I will give serious consideration to anyone you recommend.'

'Thank you Professor.' James spoke for them both, since Lily seemed to be going into shock. Dumbledore nodded genially.

'I should be thanking _you _dear boy. You are both excused classes for the rest of the day; I shall expect a list of potential prefects by tomorrow morning. A very good afternoon to you both.'

James offered Lily a hand and when she took it he pulled her from her seat and tugged her gently from the room. They left the office and descended the stairs in silence. When they arrived at the bottom they automatically turned towards the Head's offices and wandered the corridor in companionable silence as they contemplated the events of the last hour. Lily finally broke the silence.

'I don't really need to ask what you're going to do, do I?'

James used their joined hands to stop them both and he turned to face her. 'Would it upset you if I did?'

Lily snorted. 'It can't be worse than being an auror. At least the Order membership wouldn't be a matter of public record.'

James' lips twitched slightly, but his expression turned serious again when he saw the look in Lily's eye. She seemed to be searching for words and he waited patiently. When she finally spoke, it was somewhat unexpected. 'Would it upset you if **I** did?'

He took a moment to phrase his response carefully. 'I'd be _worried_. I mean, you'd worry about me too right? But…I don't expect to dictate what you can and can't do Lil. It's your decision and I'll support it either way.' He bent his head down to kiss her cheek. 'Just…remind me I said that when I have hysterics about you going on missions. I can't promise I'll be this rational when it's really happening.'

Lily smiled at him. 'You know Potter, when you're using your brain and thinking clearly before you speak, you're actually quite decent.'

He smiled back at her. 'Is that right?'

'Yeah, I almost like you at times like these.' She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him gently, her arms rising up to twine round his neck.

'Good to know Evans.' He pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers, and they stood there in the empty corridor, wrapped up in each other until class finished and the corridor swarmed with pupils.

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**********A/N: Thanks for reading; you guys are all fantastic, never let anyone tell you different.  
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**********If you have a minute to tell me what you think, please do. **

**********Also, totally random question: I've been reading a few Harry/Ginny fics recently, and I've noticed that a lot of them have Harry as an animagus and he tends to be a panther. Did JKR ever say anything to suggest that Harry would be a panther if he was an animagus? I just thought it was weird for so many people to use the same idea if it didn't have any canon basis. If anyone knows, tell me!  
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**********Love always xx**


	30. Chapter 30 - Again

******A/N: Okay, new chapter! Welcome back everyone, glad to have you. Hello, anyone new. *waves happily*  
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******I'm actually quite pleased with my update speed here; I've been aiming for at least a chapter a week (missed that!) but since I was away for three days over the weekend, and that's when I usually do the bulk of my writing, I reckon ten days between chapters isn't bad!  
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******AND this sucker is, like, _ten thousand words long_. I kept trying to find a place to split it so I could post something sooner, but it just would not co-operate.  
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******Hope you guys enjoy it - we're about five chapters away from the end now!**

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'So. Hogsmeade.' Sirius sat up on his bed and looked round the room expectantly. His statement was met with a certain amount of bafflement as each of his friends waited for him to elaborate. James stopped tapping his quill against his parchment, Remus looked up from his newspaper and Peter stopped searching the underneath of his bed for the three galleons he was certain he'd lost under there.

Obviously Sirius had been expecting more of a reaction, because he rolled his eyes and bounced forward until he was perched on the very foot of his bed, his eyes shining as he accompanied his words with expressive gestures.

'This Saturday is Hogsmeade. Just like the last Hogsmeade visit, I will be escorting the ravishing Ms McKinnon, and Prongs will no doubt be glued to the lovely Lily like a bowtruckle to a tree. I prefer not to speculate on what Pete will be doing, since I was unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of him with his hand up Wellbeck's shirt last time.'

Peter saluted proudly and promptly received a pillow in the face from Remus. Sirius laughed loudly at Peter's affronted face before he continued.

'Which brings us to the subject of Moony.' Remus immediately picked up his Daily Prophet and disappeared behind it again.

'Oi, none of that!' Sirius gestured with his wand and the newspaper soared out of Remus' hands and landed at the foot of James's old bed. Remus sighed and folded his arms defensively.

'What about me?'

'Well, you never told us how that little date you had with Huxley went, and I was just wondering if you were taking her again this time? Actually, let's be honest here, we were all wondering, but I'm the only one with the balls to ask you outright.' Sirius glanced at both James and Peter, who at least had the grace to look a little abashed.

Remus turned his head to stare out of the window for a moment or two before he huffed his frustration and turned back to his friends. 'Why don't you harass _Frank _about Hogsmeade visits?'

Sirius held up a hand to silence the others before any of them could speak. 'Hang on, I've got this one mates. To answer your question Moony: One; he's not here to harass, and two; there's no point, since we all know he's going with Alice and they are going to wander round in a world of their own like love's young dream.'

Remus let out a cynical sounding snort. 'You're not going to let this go are you?' Sirius grinned and shook his head, leaning forward in anticipation of a response.

Remus groaned and ran a hand through his air in a manner eerily reminiscent of James before he answered. 'Fine. If you_ must_ know, I haven't asked her yet, and I don't know if I'm going to.'

'What?'

'You bloody idiot!'

'Mate, sometimes I'm ashamed to call you a Marauder.'

Though his friends' words varied, their reactions were the same; disbelief and incredulity. Remus rolled his eyes.

'Look, I'm just re-thinking things a bit okay? Julia is great...'

'Seconded.' interrupted Sirius.

'A little less from the peanut gallery if you don't mind?' demanded Remus. 'If you're going to interrogate me, the least you can do is bloody listen to the answers!'

Sirius held up his hands in mock surrender. Remus glared round the room before continuing. 'I'm just thinking that I'm setting myself up for bigger problems in the future. Sure, for now I can date Julia without telling her everything, but there's going to come a point when she's going to have questions I don't want to answer; so I either lie to her – and isn't that a _fantastic_ basis for a relationship – or I tell her the truth and watch her run away screaming.'

'Mate, you don't know how she'd react. I think you're being a little unfair to her, assuming she's going to be horrified. Since when has Julia reacted the way you'd expect her to? She's been surprising me since the minute we found her in Hogsmeade, and she might surprise you with this too.' James had put his parchment and quill down and was leaning forward with an intense expression on his face. 'Moony…at some point in your life, you're going to have to give yourself a break and at least _try_ and have some sort of relationship. You deserve that much.'

'Yeah.' Said Sirius, throwing a pillow at James' head. 'Listen to Soppy Romance Boy over there.'

'Soppy Romance Boy? Really?' James' voice dripped scorn. 'Just because I happen to think that girls deserve slightly more than a quick fu…'

'Silence Shrub!' Sirius commanded imperiously, and James raised a bemused eyebrow, temper momentarily forgotten in his confusion. 'It's your new nickname. _Prongs_ is far too manly for someone as obscenely mushy as you've become recently. So now you are Shrub. S-R-B. Short for Soppy Romance Boy.'

'Aside from the fact that that is one of the _most_ idiotic things I have ever heard, you are aware that you've been in a relationship with Marls for longer than I've been seeing Lily right?' All trace of antagonism was gone from James' voice now, and he sounded lightly amused.

'That's only if you don't count the six years of foreplay.' Sirius shot back.

'Getting back to the subject of Moony, and ignoring that fact that you are _both_ completely under the proverbial thumb.' Pete broke in from his seat on the floor. 'I have to agree with Prongs on this one Moony; you might never have to discuss it with her. Just go on a few more dates; if it's not working out, hey ho, it was fun while it lasted. If it _is _working out, well, worry about telling her when you reach the point where you need to. Otherwise it's just unnecessary stress.'

There was a moment of thoughtful silence then James was the first to speak. 'That was surprisingly…'

'Insightful?' offered Peter.

'I was going to go with practical Wormtail, but yes, it was quite insightful.'

'So, Moony, consensus is established, you should ask the lovely Ms Huxley to accompany you to Hogsmeade again.' Sirius nodded firmly, obviously pleased with the outcome of the discussion. 'Otherwise, we shall have to reconsider your worthiness of your Marauder status, and we will also question your suitability to be a Gryffindor, given your apparent lack of nerve in this matter. And chivalry actually, leaving a lady hanging! You're a sorry excuse for a bloke, you really are!'

Remus huffed. 'Look, it's all well and good for you lot to speculate on this, but I'm the one who'll have to deal with the fall-out if it all goes horribly wrong, let's face it.'

'Like we wouldn't be there to help pick up the pieces mate.' James picked up his parchment again, and began to scribble furiously. 'And I still think you're underestimating Julia.' He signed his name at the bottom of the parchment with a flourish, and dropped it back on the bed. He looked at Remus' unhappy face and sighed. 'Do I have to get Lily in to give you a pep talk again? Because I will, don't think I won't bring her into this.'

Remus tangled a hand into his hair and tugged on it sharply in his frustration at his failure to make his friends understand. 'Don't you get that I don't want to set myself up to be hurt? I mean, is that such a bad thing, to want to avoid disappointment?'

'If it means you're going to isolate yourself forever, then yes.' Peter's muffled voice came from under his bed where he had resumed his search for his missing money, having apparently lost patience with his friends' tendency to overly-complicate their personal lives.

'Now Moony, that attitude wouldn't have got me anywhere with Lily would it?' James pointed out, a certain amount of smugness creeping into his demeanour.

'Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.' Sirius announced proudly. James' eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline, Peter hit his head on the underside of his bed as he tried to straighten up without thinking about where he was and Remus' mouth fell open. All three stared incredulously at their friend, who looked a little self-satisfied at the shock he'd caused.

'What? It's a famous quote. From this muggle book, The Princess Bride. Brilliant book too, loads of swordfights and stuff.'

James shook his head. 'I knew we should have put a stop to you taking Muggle Studies; it's not good for you. I mean, they taught you to_ read_.'

Sirius threw his pillow at James' head, and within a few minutes even Remus' solemn mood had lightened as the four of them laughed and argued and insulted, the way they had been doing for almost seven years now.

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'So. Hogsmeade today.' Marlene flounced into the Head's common room and flopped onto an unoccupied couch. 'What are everyone's plans then?'

'Since when do any of us really make _plans_ for Hogsmeade Marly?' Alice didn't look up from her magazine as she spoke. 'We go, we wander round, we get thrown out of the Three Broomsticks because Rosmerta is sick of one or all of us, and we come back to school. It's our routine.'

'See, that's exactly the problem! It's routine!' Marlene thumped her fist on the coffee table for emphasis. Unfortunately she'd done it with the hand she was holding her wand in, and a spray of purple sparks shot out of the end and settled in Alice's hair, which promptly began to turn green. Alice let out a shriek and aimed her wand at Marlene's nose which sprouted a particularly painful looking boil.

Lily appeared at the bottom of the staircase and raised an eyebrow at the scene unfolding before her. 'There's something properly wrong with you two, you know that don't you?'

'She started it!' Alice pointed an accusing finger at Marlene before returning to her attempts to restore her natural hair colour.

'It was an accident! You didn't have to disfigure me!' Marlene had crossed the room at record speed and was staring, horrified, into the large mirror above the fireplace, making frantic gestures with her wand as she tried to remove the impressive swelling from her nose.

'Disfigured.' Lily scoffed. 'Turn around drama queen.' Marlene span to face her, making pleading eyes. Lily gave her wand a little twirl and flick, and Marlene felt the soreness on her face disappear completely; she turned to check her reflection, and let out a huge sigh of relief when she saw that she once again looked completely normal.

'Thank you Lil!' She pulled the redhead into a huge hug, practically smothering her.

'Excuse me, still bloody suffering over here!' Alice's grumpy voice cut in, and Marlene winced at the tone and immediately released Lily, turning to face Alice with a contrite look on her face.

'I'm so sorry Al, I really, truly didn't mean to!'

'I think I'd be a lot more likely to forgive you if it was fixed.' Said Alice meaningfully. Her hair was now almost completely green, and was starting to frizz enormously, standing out from her head. Lily walked around her speculatively.

'What spell did you use Mar?'

'I have no idea, I was just waving my wand around!' Marlene wailed. 'I'm really, really sorry Al, can't you fix it Lil? You got rid of my boil really easily.'

'That was just a charm, and the counter charm is easy. This… well, this is _transfiguration_. Not my best subject – or yours apparently – so there's only one thing for it.' Lily walked over to the staircase that led up to the bedrooms. 'James!' she yelled at the top of her voice. 'James, get down here, I need you!'

There was the bang of a door being flung open so hard it hit a wall, then a loud thundering noise that was apparently James descending the stairs at high speed, then he burst into the common room, a look of concern fixed on his face, his glasses askew and his hair even more mussed than usual. He grabbed Lily's hand and stopped dead in front of her, his other hand lifting up to touch her cheek gently. 'What is it Lils? Are you okay?'

'Fine.' She smiled at his distressed state, and turned her face into his hand. 'I didn't mean to worry you, we just have a slight emergency that requires someone more talented in transfiguration than I am.' She gestured across the room and James craned his neck to look. He caught one glimpse of Alice and looked immediately back at Lily, keeping his eyes resolutely away from Alice, his lips pressing together firmly. His shoulders started shaking and he bit the inside of his cheek in a desperate attempt to think of anything other than Alice's rapidly changing hair. Finally he couldn't hold it in any longer, and he burst into huge peals of laughter and he had to lean against the wall for support as his body shook with it.

'Oh, that's right, laugh it up.' Alice's eyes were narrowed dangerously, and James had known her long enough to recognise the warning signs of an impending explosion of epic proportions. He regained control of himself and walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and inspecting her hair in a very professional manner.

'Did you do this Lil?' He asked without turning away from his minute inspection of Alice's head; one of the benefits of his height was that he could easily see the top of her head without having to strain.

'Not me.' She waved a hand in Marlene's direction. 'Questions should be directed to blondie over there.'

'Marls?' James looked over at Marlene's shamefaced expression and gave her a wink. 'Nice spell work sweetheart. Really difficult to undo.' Alice groaned, but James continued undeterred. 'Difficult for anyone who isn't me anyway.' He smiled at Alice and tapped her head with his wand; her hair instantly transformed back into its usual shiny brunette curls and she gave a gasp of relief and flung her arms around James' waist, gripping him tightly.

'You're welcome.' He laughed, hugging back and catching Lily's eye over the top of Alice's head, offering her a smile that was reserved just for her, even if he was hugging one of her best friends. She was looking at him with an expression he couldn't quite figure out, and wasn't sure he'd ever seen on her face before. It looked somewhat tearful, but she was smiling genuinely back at him so she obviously wasn't upset, and there was an edge of something like resolve in her eyes, like she'd just made a decision. Alice released him, and he moved straight over to Lily, lifting both hands to run through her hair, fingers grazing lightly over her neck.

'Are you ready now?' he asked, surprised when she jumped at his query and her green eyes turned questioning.

'For what?' she asked a little breathlessly, wondering if he'd somehow read her thoughts in her eyes, if he was aware of her sudden little epiphany.

He smiled as his fingers continued their dance through her red locks. 'To go to Hogsmeade.'

'Oh.' Lily relaxed a little as she realised that James was oblivious to her sudden feelings, but a small part of her was almost disappointed, and she couldn't quite shake all the tenseness out of her posture. She pasted on a shaky smile and replied. 'Yeah, I am. Let's go.'

James stretched an arm around her shoulder and began to steer her towards the door. 'Come on you pair. After that little debacle I'm not leaving you two in here unsupervised.' He grabbed cloaks for both himself and Lily from the rack and ushered all three girls out of the door, shutting it securely behind them.

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'Someone please tell me again what I'm doing in here?' Sirius whined. James let out an exasperated huff and turned to face his best mate.

'I have no idea what you're doing in here, but **I **am looking for an Easter present for Lily.' He returned to his inspection of the shelves in front of him.

'An _Easter_ present? Are you winding me up?' Sirius sounded extremely incredulous at the very thought. 'You buy people _chocolate_ at Easter, so please tell me; why aren't we in Honeydukes with Wormy?'

James rolled his eyes; Lily was definitely rubbing off on him. 'I've already got her some chocolates. Now I'm looking for something else. And there's nothing to stop you buggering off anyway, it's not like you're _helping_.'

'I don't bloody understand why we're shopping for Easter presents, so how am I supposed to help?' demanded Sirius. 'This makes no sense!'

Remus slapped Sirius on the back gently. 'Padfoot. Let me explain it in simple sentences. Prongs likes to spoil Lily by spending vastly ridiculous amounts of money on her. Lily objects to this on the grounds that it is excessive and wasteful for him to give her gifts all the time for no good reason. Therefore, James has to invent spurious reasons to justify his extravagant gift-giving. Easter is just one of his excuses.'

'Oh.' The penny dropped for Sirius. 'That's actually quite sneaky mate. Ridiculously soppy, but still, quite underhanded. I'm not sure whether I should be proud of your deviousness, or appalled at your sentimentality.'

'Maybe you should be disgusted by the fact that he has to buy himself a Mudblood.' The distinctive drawl of Avery came from behind them, and all three turned, hands going automatically to their wands. Sirius stiffened as he noted Regulus stood just slightly behind Avery. Their eyes locked for a moment before his younger brother stared determinedly past him, pretending he didn't exist.

'Avery. Always a pleasure. Sod off.' Remus spoke calmly, his tone almost pleasant. It would have been impossible to miss the underlying hint of anger in his words if someone had been listening closely, but to the casual observer he sounded nothing more than polite.

'Don't want to. Think we might hang round here for a while.' Avery's eyes gleamed at the thought.

'You do that.' James smiled thinly, then turned and addressed Sirius and Remus. 'I'm just going to pay for this' - he waved a wooden box at them - 'then we can go meet the others in the pub.'

'Sounds good.' Remus followed him for a few steps, then stopped when he realised Sirius hadn't followed him. He was stood still, eyes fixed on his brother, who was still doggedly refusing to meet his gaze.

'So, is Mum proud then?' He asked loudly. Regulus' eyes darted involuntarily to Sirius' face at the mention of their mother. 'I bet she's thrilled that at least one of her sons is as completely deranged as she is. I'm sure she's delighted that you're joining the Death Eaters. I mean, I assume that's the reason for the company you keep these days, since I can't imagine the conversation is up to much.'

'I'm sure it can't be worse than yours Black.' Snape appeared from behind the next row of shelves, moving across to stand beside Regulus. 'Which tart you're shagging this week can't be of much interest to anyone else.'

'Oh, that's right.' Sirius kept his eyes on Regulus even though his words were directed at Snape. 'You lot get your kicks murdering and torturing.' He was pleased to note the slight paling of Regulus' face at his words. 'Can't leave much time to get a date. Mind you, I imagine you'd need to use an Imperius for that – can't think of a girl who'd _volunteer_.' He turned his eyes to Snape and smiled cruelly. 'Especially not the one _you_ want.'

'That's enough.' James returned, carrying a shopping bag and glaring at the Slytherins as he stood next to Sirius, his eyes flicking briefly towards Remus. 'You lot can keep your filthy language to yourselves in future, unless you want a term's worth of detention.' He put a hand on Sirius' shoulder. 'We're off mate, the others will probably be in the Three Broomsticks by now and we haven't even made it to Honeydukes yet.'

Sirius nodded slowly and turned to walk out, Remus falling into step with him. James stood a minute longer observing the three boys facing him, not even bothering to hide his disgust. Avery curled his lip and walked away, leaving James facing Snape and Regulus. His eyes flicked between the two, and his hand clenched on his wand for a fleeting moment when his eyes landed on Snape, but he restrained himself and took two steps backwards before turning and heading for the door.

'Enjoy the power trip while you're Head Boy Potter. The real world is waiting, and things are going to be different out there. Your family money and your pathetic family name won't mean much soon.' Snape ground out the words, oozing hate with every syllable. James turned back to face him and moved slowly towards him, stopping when he was still just outside of touching distance. He lowered his voice and spoke in a tone that conveyed slight amusement.

'You know what Snape? I don't care. I've got something that's much better than money and influence; and it just so happens I've got that as well.' He smiled at the dark-haired boy in front of him, feeling a strangely vicious pleasure at being able to inflict a little bit of hurt on him, after every bit of pain he'd visited on Lily. 'What's important is that_ you_ could have all the money and power in the world, and it _still_ couldn't buy you Lily Evans. I bet that stings doesn't it? I'd say the thought keeps me warm at night, but it doesn't. She does.'

He watched his words hit home, saw the last little bit of colour leave Snape's face and his black eyes harden, and he walked backwards out of the store, making sure he never turned his back until he was well out of sight of the two.

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The warmth inside the Three Broomsticks hit James the second he walked in. The pub was busy – as it always was on a Hogwarts day – but his eyes found his friends easily; they were the loudest group after all, occupying one of the largest tables, all squashed up together and laughing over their drinks. He couldn't see that distinctive flash of red hair with them though, and he automatically began scanning the bar for her. It was second nature now; he walked into a room and looked for Lily. Sometimes it felt like he'd been doing that for half his life.

He saw her – finally - up at the bar, talking with Rosmerta as she waited for her drink. He quickly slung his shopping bags down at the table, leaving them under the watchful eye of Remus who would pretend they were his if Lily asked, and made his way over to her. She was still talking animatedly as he reached her and he winked at Rosmerta as he slid his cold hands round Lily's waist and under her jumper. She squealed at the contact of cold hands on warm flesh, and he laughed and spun her around in a little circle until her back was pressed against the bar and she was trapped between it and him.

'Well, that was unnes…' was as far as she got before he covered her mouth with his. Both her laughter and her joking complaint were lost in her throat as she sighed and sank into him, one hand lifting automatically to bury itself in his hair and the other gripping his upper arm. His hands traced patterns on her back as his lips moulded around hers, and he nipped at her bottom lip and dug his fingertips into her skin and stole her breath over and over again. When he finally broke away from her, her face was flushed and her lips were swollen. Pleased with this outcome, he brushed his hands over her face, tucking any stray hairs back.

'Well, hello to you too.' Her voice was a little hoarse, he was delighted to note, but her tone was light and amused. He pulled her into a hug, gripping her tightly to him and savouring her warmth and scent. His little row with Snape had reminded him that, if things had gone differently, _he_ might have been the one with no hope of ever feeling Lily in his arms, and the very thought made him a little desperate.

'Hi.' His voice was, if anything, far huskier than hers. He released her from his grip and leant on the bar to catch Rosmerta's attention, keeping one arm tucked proprietarily round her waist and pointedly ignoring the catcalls of their friends. Rosmerta slid two butterbeers to him with a wink. 'On the house. Thanks for the show.'

Lily blushed furiously, but James laughed. 'Thanks Rosmerta. It was my absolute pleasure.' He took several large swigs, then pulled Lily up onto a bar stool next to him instead of letting her return to their friends. He'd needed to discuss something with her for a while, and had been putting it off, worried about her response. For whatever reason now felt like a good time, so he'd talk to her before he chickened out again.

'So.' He began, not at all confident about how she would respond to what he had to say. 'Sirius has an inheritance burning a hole in his pocket.'

'So I've heard. Dead uncles are worth having apparently.'

'And I'm, well, I'm rich, not to put too fine a point on it.'

'Modest too.'

'Yeah, that as well.' James pulled a hand through his hair in that familiar gesture and took another swig from his bottle, more to keep his mouth and hands occupied for a moment than out of actual thirst. 'So we've talked about this before, and it's come up again today for some reason, and hell, I'm not saying this very well am I? Long and the short of it is, Padfoot reckons we should buy a house when we leave Hogwarts. You know, one for a group of us to share. Including you and me.' There was a drawn out moment of quiet when he looked at Lily, and Lily looked back at him, then he dropped his gaze to the bar surface, unable to keep any sort of eye contact with her anymore.

Needing to break the silence he spoke hurriedly, careful not to look at her face as he spoke. 'So, what do you think?'

Her reply took a moment, and was completely unexpected.

'I think you should ask me to marry you.'

James spat a mouthful of butterbeer over the counter and his head turned almost of its own accord to face her. 'Right now?' He managed to stammer out.

'Not _now_.' Lily had blurted out exactly what was running through her head at that moment with absolutely no thought of the consequences, and now she was blushing furiously and staring at the counter to hide her reddening face, cursing herself for articulating her feelings before she was sure of his. Her realisation that morning in their common room, that the idea of marrying him no longer made her feel panicky and uncomfortable - like it had that day he'd jokingly suggested eloping - had been disconcerting, and the warm feeling that had replaced those anxious nerves had been occupying her mind for most of the day, and now it had somehow made its way out of her mouth. 'I meant someday; you know, in the future.'

'Okay.' James traced patterns in the spilled butterbeer on the bar surface, his eyes fixed down at the swirl of liquid as he tried to keep his emotions in check. 'Are you saying that you _want_ to marry me one day?'

Lily swallowed another mouthful of her drink before she answered, trying to give herself a moment to order her scrambled thoughts. She couldn't rationalise exactly what it was this morning that had made her decide she wanted to marry him someday, what had made her heart make that last little jump.

It could have been the way he'd rushed down the stairs when she'd called for him, the way he'd come to her as quickly as he could, just because she'd called his name.

It might have been the way he'd tried so hard not to laugh at Alice's hair, or the way he'd finally had to give in to the laughter and it had made his eyes light up, and the corners of his mouth crinkle into those laughter lines she knew so well, that always made her heart thump.

Possibly it was that display of easy-going affection towards her friends, the affection that he always gave so freely to the people he cared about, that had battered down her final barrier where he was concerned.

It may have been that smile he'd given her; the one he kept especially for her, where his eyes locked onto hers, and his mouth curved up and those damn hazel eyes went all twinkly and sparkly at her so that she couldn't think straight.

Or it might just have been all of those little things – little things that were so quintessentially_ James _- all hitting her at once to make her realise just how far gone she was. Over-the-bloody-moon, stupid-in-love-with-him, always-and-forever, apparently.

'Yeah. I am.'

James face broke out into_ that_ smile again. 'Good. Because I will ask. One day. Not now.'

'Okay.'

'Good.'

'Great.'

He caught her eye and grinned, and she couldn't help but smile back, her lips curving up automatically as soon as her eyes saw him smiling across at her. She let out a brief laugh, a mixture of happiness and relief before she spoke again with mock sternness.

'So, this house. I want my own bathroom; I shudder to think what Sirius does in his. And veto rights over the guest list.'

'Done and done.' He covered her hand with his and she turned hers over to interlock their fingers. They sat there a little while, hands clasped together and resting on the bar as they jokingly discussed their future housing situation; possible locations, minimum number of bathrooms, whether or not Sirius would be allowed unfettered access to the kitchen. They sat there at the bar until they'd finished their drinks, and until their heart-rates – which had definitely sped up during that conversation - had returned to normal, or as normal as they got when they were near each other. Then they bought another round of drinks and wandered over to join their friends, who welcomed them with loud shouts and whistles.

Through all of this, neither of them noticed the black-cloaked figure sat alone at the end of the bar, just within hearing distance of them. Neither of them felt the coal-black eyes of Severus Snape follow them as they left their seats at the bar and joined their friends. They hadn't noticed the way his body had stiffened or his face had paled as he'd overheard the conversation which was never meant for anyone else's ears. They hadn't even noticed he was there – _Lily_ hadn't even noticed he was there - so they never saw the anger and hurt fight for dominance over his features. They didn't see anger win.

**__****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) __****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**

They left the Three Broomsticks as a group late in the afternoon, but it was still light outside and the early spring weather was pleasantly mild. The conversation carried on without a break as they passed over the threshold of the pub and spilled out into the street. They'd made it halfway up the main road before Remus remembered something he needed from Flourish and Botts, and he and Julia headed off along with Frank and Alice, leaving Lily and James wandering along with Marly, Sirius, Emma and Peter.

They made their way towards the carriages, walking slowly along the main road that was packed with Hogwarts students beginning to make their way back to the castle. Laughter and shouts filled the air, Honeydukes sweets were shared and Zonko's products were set off in every direction.

'It'll be weird to spend Easter at your house without you Prongs.' Sirius commented, digging his hand into Marlene's bag of chocoballs.

'Don't worry James, I'll keep him under control.' Marlene patted his arm reassuringly before swiping at Sirius' hand, which was creeping towards her bag of sweets again.

'Much as I'm thrilled that you're coming to stay with me for Easter, you'd think my parents would have actually _informed_ me before they invited you, wouldn't you?' Lily tucked her arm tighter round his and sent him a grin.

'Your mum wrote to me last week, maybe she sent you a letter at the same time. It could have gone astray.' He suggested, lifting his free hand up adjust her scarf.

'I think my mother has a crush on you actually, and didn't want any potential interference.' Lily laughed and James smirked at her.

'Told you I'd win her over. I'm good with Evans women. Reckon there's any possibility of me getting into Petunia's good graces?'

'No.' Lily answered flatly, but with a ghost of a smile flitting round her mouth. 'Her tastes run to overweight, drill-obsessed walruses disguised as humans.'

'I can't wait to meet this bloke. You have no idea what kind of picture you've created in my head.'

'You must be bloody mental.' Marlene commented from behind them. 'He sounds _awful_.'

'Prongs is a true Gryffindor, that's all.' Peter commented. 'Brave to the extent of foolhardiness.'

'Why _thank you_ Wormy.' James threw a grin over his shoulder at his friend. 'It's nice to know someone appreciates my true character.'

Sirius threw a chocoball at his head and James released his grip on Lily long enough to get in a good punch to Sirius' gut. They stood there in the street, laughing and teasing, until their banter was disrupted by the sound of a high-pitched scream piercing the air.

James twisted his head round immediately, trying to locate the source of the sound. 'Where's Moony when you need him? Anyone hear where that came from?'

'Over there I think.' Emma pointed a shaky hand towards the far end of the street, and as all six of them turned and began to move in the direction she had indicated there were more screams, and the cries of sheer terror carried to them on the wind, echoing through the streets of Hogsmeade. Three young kids in Hogwarts robes came bursting out of an alleyway running as fast as they could and others that were stood near them turned curiously in the direction of the disturbance, then they too began to scream and run and the street became a heaving mass of people, all fighting to get away from whatever had caused the panic.

'What the bloody hell…' James fought against the tide of people swarming down the street, pushing each other and trampling through any barrier in their alarm and dread.

'Not again.' Groaned Peter. 'I'm getting sick of these Hogsmeade visits; they're catastrophes waiting to happen.'

'I'm not flaming well coming on anymore!' Emma screeched as a screaming pair of second years bashed into her and she was flung into the wall of the shop behind her. Sirius grabbed her arm and heaved her out of the worst of the crowd, pulling her and Marlene behind him as he braced himself against the push of the oncoming kids.

Lily fought her way to James and grasped his hand tightly as she tried to avoid losing him in the crush. Together they forced their way through the multitude of panicking people towards the source of the problem. Lily spotted Ben Jones and Steven Corner - two Hufflepuff prefects – off to their left, their faces drawn with worry as they attempted to restore some sort of order and calm the situation. She whistled at them to catch their attention, and their faces broke into identical expressions of relief at the sight of a higher authority.

'Get as many prefects as you can. Try and do crowd control; we have to stop this crush before somebody gets killed!' Lily yelled at them and they nodded and began scouring the crowd for any help that might be forthcoming.

'Oi, you two!' James' voice rang out across the throng and the two boys turned back to face him. 'Higher ground!' He pointed at the nearby lamp-posts, and they grinned as they caught his meaning. They climbed up the posts and each cast a sonorous charm before they began to yell instructions at the crowd below them, their eyes constantly searching for prefects to join in with the effort to restore order.

James and Lily pushed forward through the crowd, knowing they could do no more to control the panicking horde of students and Hogsmeade residents; they had to find the source of the terror and deal with it before the situation could be calmed down, and there were too many bodies in the way for them to be able to see what everyone was running from.

Glancing over her shoulder Lily saw Sirius, Marlene and Emma following them, fighting their way to catch up with them, and off to one side she saw Peter sending several patronuses towards the castle, presumably in an attempt to summon help.

As they pushed their way out of the other side of the crowd they almost tripped over a Ravenclaw student who was frozen still in horror, facing into the alleyway that the scream had originated from. Lily was first to regain her balance and finally face what had caused the panic.

Crawling its way towards them out of the alleyway was the largest, ugliest spider she had ever seen; black and hairy with enormous pincers and eight black gleaming eyes. She took two steps backwards, pulling the younger girl with her and firing a stunning spell directly into the creature's eyes. Her mouth fell open as the hex barely slowed the approach of the enormous creature. By this point James had joined her, and a series of furious oaths and curses had were flowing from his mouth as he aimed his wand and fired jinx after jinx directly at the gigantic body of the spider.

'Fucking hell! Acromantula?' Sirius yelped in surprise as he and the others caught up with James and Lily and were faced with the same sight they had been. The creature continued its advance, and not one spell cast by any of the group could slow it down, and they were slowly being backed up towards the crowd of still panicking students that the prefects were just managing to control.

As the spider began to move faster towards them James noticed something odd about its movements, and a suspicion that had been growing in his mind was all but confirmed. Spurred into action, he stepped in front of Lily and the Ravenclaw girl who was clinging to her. 'Padfoot!' he shouted and he gave the two girls a firm but gentle push towards Sirius and Peter, who bundled them protectively behind them along with Marlene and Emma. Lily fought and pushed to get back to James, but Sirius' arms held her back and she watched James square up to the creature, which…blurred?

The acromantula was gone, and in its place on the ground was…her. Her dead body. Eyes unfocused, skin chalky white, blood dripping from her scalp and running into her green eyes, staining them red. The shock of what she was seeing drained all the strength out of her and she stopped fighting Sirius' grip on her, her arms dropping loosely to her side as she watched James draw in a struggling breath as he faced her body lying on the ground.

The bulk of the crowd was still fighting to get away, unable to see that the creature that had terrified them had vanished, to be replaced by the image of the Head Girl crumpled on the ground, but those who were closest could see what had happened and several eyes were darting between the Lily in Sirius' arms and the Lily on the ground in front of James.

James raised his wand and held it out in front of him in hands that were not quite steady. He aimed it at the prone body on the floor, reminding himself that it was _not _Lily. Lily was behind him somewhere, safe with Sirius who wouldn't let anything happen to her.

'Riddikulus!'

He all but shouted the charm, channelling as much power as he could possibly muster down his wand, pouring every positive, life-affirming feeling he had about Lily into his wandwork. The body on the ground jerked then slowly pulled itself upright, unfolding to reveal itself. It was still _Lily_, but it also…wasn't.

It was Lily if she was rendered in a truly ridiculous style as a ragdoll, a caricature of her that made the corners of his mouth twitch as he took in its fire-engine red hair, its enormous spread of freckles, its overly skinny and uncoordinated limbs.

There was an outraged squeak from behind him, and Lily's voice carried over all other sound. 'James Potter! I DO NOT look like that!'

He laughed. He laughed so hard his sides hurt, and the boggart in front of him withered away into nothingness. Sirius released Lily from his restraining grip and together they moved towards the Head Boy, who was now weak with laughter, holding onto his sides as he tried to regain his breath. Marlene and Emma were talking to the young Ravenclaw who had been the source of the Acromantula boggart that had terrified so many people, and Peter had joined Ben Jones in trying to organise the crowd, most of who were still trying to leave Hogsmeade as fast as they could.

James straightened himself up and wiped his eyes, his face still set in a smile as he took in the sight of Lily and Sirius walking towards him. He opened his arms to her and she walked straight into them, wrapping herself up in his embrace and Sirius slapped him on the back, resting his hand lightly on his shoulder.

'Your boggart's changed I see Prongs.'

James shrugged and buried his face in Lily's hair. 'A lot of things have changed Pads.'

'You're telling me.' He withdrew his hand and tucked it into his pocket. 'How did you know?'

Lily lifted her head off James' chest and tilted it back to look at him. Obviously she was interested in the answer as well.

'Couple of things. First off, Acromantula in Hogsmeade is pretty far-fetched isn't it? They don't like to leave the Forbidden Forest. And it wasn't moving right; it was like it didn't know what to do with all those legs. But the thing that made me think of a Boggart was the way that it hesitated when Lil arrived, and again when I did. It was like it was deciding who to go for; an Acromantula wouldn't do that, it would have been focused on the hunt. So, a bit of deduction and a lucky guess really.'

He gave Lily one last squeeze and a smile, then let her go and headed towards the Ravenclaw student who was now sat on a bench with Marlene. The majority of the crowd had now been dispersed, most of them in an orderly queue to the carriages that would take them back to Hogwarts; Hogsmeade visits were really going to decline in popularity if this kind of stuff kept happening.

'Hey.' James crouched in front of the obviously traumatised girl. She looked up at him, tears spilling from her eyes and pushed her long black hair back from her face. 'You okay?' The girl nodded quickly, biting her lip, then she dropped her gaze and stared at the floor. James felt Lily come up behind him and stand just to his right. He patted the girls' knee gently.

'What's your name?'

'Caroline.' Her voice was little more than a whisper.

'Caroline.' James repeated. 'Pretty name. And you're what, third year? Ravenclaw?'

She nodded, her eyes fixed firmly on the ground beneath her feet, her fingers twining round each other anxiously. James carried on speaking in that same soothing tone of voice.

'That must have been pretty awful Caroline. Seeing your biggest fear like that. But you know what's really important?'

She shook her head, eyes still resolutely down. James spoke his next words firmly and clearly.

'You didn't run from it.'

Lily smiled to herself as Caroline's head lifted when she heard those words, and she looked directly at James. She felt Sirius shift behind her to whisper in her ear. 'Looks like Dumbledore was right about that Head Boy appointment after all doesn't it?' She gave him a quick grin over her shoulder and returned her attention to James, who was still talking gently to the distressed girl.

'You didn't run, even though it was the thing that scares you more than anything. And this year, you'll learn how to beat a Boggart, and you'll be ahead of your whole class when you do because you've already faced yours. It's important to know what you're scared of.'

Lily saw the image of her crumpled body on the ground in front of James flash through her mind, and part of her was glad she hadn't had to face _her _boggart today. She had a feeling she knew what it would be now, and she never wanted to see it, even if it was fake. Her heart couldn't take it.

Caroline had managed a weak smile for James and he was smiling encouragingly back at her. He phrased his next sentence carefully.

'Can you tell me how you found the boggart? They aren't very common and it's really odd to find one out in the open.'

Caroline twisted her fingers anxiously and whispered her answer. 'Some boys grabbed me. They pushed me into the alleyway and they said they wouldn't let me out unless I opened a box that was lying there. When I opened it, the…the…_it_ climbed out of it and came towards me, and…'

She trailed off, obviously unable to continue, and Lily saw James' jaw set in anger and felt Sirius stiffen behind her.

'Do you know who they were Caroline? The boys?' James voice was still gentle, even though everything about his posture screamed his anger. She didn't move or answer for a minute, then she nodded slowly.

'It was them.' She pointed off somewhere behind James' head, and he twisted to look, Lily and Sirius echoing his motions.

A few feet away, laughing loudly, was Selwyn Mulciber, seventh year Slytherin and just behind him and smiling nervously was Regulus Black and two other Slytherin fifth years.

Sirius swore under his breath and his wand was in his hand before Lily could move. He moved rapidly towards the group of four boys and before any of them could catch him, he'd cast a hex directly at Mulciber.

'Oh bollocks.' Lily heard Marlene's voice somewhere behind her, but it only vaguely registered as James rose from his crouching position and sped past her, trying to catch up with Sirius who had reached Mulciber and was now fully engaged in a ferocious duel.

Regulus was standing off to one side, his face stunned and the two other fifth years were close by. Lily saw one of them get over his shock and raise his wand, aiming a jinx at Sirius' unprotected back. A shield burst from James' wand and intercepted the jinx, and a furious Marlene ran past Lily and began hurling hexes at the boy, who started to fall back under the onslaught of the fuming blonde.

A slightly flustered Lily caught Emma's eye and jerked her head in Caroline's direction; Emma nodded her understanding and pulled Caroline carefully up by the arm and began to tug her over to Peter and Ben, still on crowd control duty. Peter made eye contact with Lily and began to head towards her, but she shook her head and pointed at Emma making her way over to him. She had no concerns really over the safety of James, Marly or Sirius – each was more than capable of taking care of themselves – but she didn't want to leave Caroline without someone to take care of her in her shaky state. Peter understood her meaning quickly enough, and he hastily moved over to them and began to usher them towards the bench Ben was standing on to shout instructions to the other prefects. Satisfied that she had ensured Caroline's safety, Lily turned back to the fight that was occurring somewhere behind her and began to move towards it.

Mulciber was out cold, slumped against a wall; presumably knocked out by a stunning hex. One of the fifth year Slytherins was nowhere to be seen, and James was forcibly restraining the other by his collar, deftly removing his wand with his other hand. The problem was Sirius; his eyes were flat with fury as he advanced on his brother, swearing and cursing and throwing hexes at him at lightning fast speed. Regulus was putting up a good fight, deflecting Sirius' curses and even occasionally managing to throw one of his own, but he was slowly being forced to back up by his more talented brother, and in a minute his back would hit a wall and he'd have nowhere else to go. Marly was hanging off of Sirius' arm, talking rapidly in his ear, trying to talk him down from whatever rage his brother had managed to ignite in him but he continued his implacable advance on Regulus.

James dragged the boy he was holding onto over to where Mulciber lay on the ground and with a quick twist of his wand he bound them together so neither could move; then he turned and moved towards the fight that was occurring between the Black brothers. Lily sped up a little as she jogged back towards them, anxious that Sirius should not be allowed to do something he'd regret; regardless of his feelings about his brother's choices, she knew he still loved him. That was probably why his brother's activities infuriated him so much; he could see exactly what route Regulus was heading down, _knew_ it was almost certain to end in either imprisonment or death, and he was powerless to stop him. Regulus wouldn't even appreciate his efforts in that direction.

Sirius had backed Regulus right up into a corner now, and his hexes were becoming more brutal, his oaths and insults more vehement and offensive as his fury with his brother hit a peak. Regulus tripped as he moved backwards and his back hit a wall; he recovered himself quickly enough to stay upright, but he was unable to prevent his wand slipping from his hand. It hit the ground and he stood in front of his enraged older brother, defenceless.

Lily skidded to an abrupt halt, staring in horror at the scene unfolding before her. Sirius raised his wand and Lily's heart jumped into her throat at the thought of what hex he might be about to throw in his brother's face…and then his wand flew from his hand, and was caught by James, with the unerring reflexes of the seasoned Quidditch chaser.

'Sorry mate. But you'd regret it later.' James held Sirius' wand away from him, and Marly continued her campaign of whispers into his ear. Regulus looked relieved for a moment then quickly hardened his face back into a set expression of indifference. It didn't last long though, as Sirius gave up any hope of trying to get his wand back from James and simply lunged at his brother's throat, seemingly intent on throttling him with his bare hands.

James shoved Sirius' wand into Marlene's hand, thrust his own back into his pocket and threw himself onto Sirius' back, trying to drag him off Regulus, fighting to prise his hands from around his neck. Marlene held her wand out in front of her, keeping a watchful eye on the struggle, ready to intervene if the opportunity presented itself. Lily resumed her run towards the fight, and out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of black and as she turned her head slightly to look she caught sight of Severus Snape arriving on the scene from the other direction.

For a brief moment she was relieved, thinking that he was coming to help stop the duel, that he would calm Regulus just as James was trying to calm Sirius. But this Snape was not the quiet boy she once knew; he was colder, harder and she could not predict his actions anymore. He came to a stop and raised his wand, his face set in an expression of sheer hatred, and in one swift motion he aimed a curse directly at James' back. In a move fuelled purely by adrenaline and horror, Lily threw a shield up between him and the struggling boys and as Snape's curse hit it, it shattered noisily.

James had finally succeeded in prising Sirius off of his brother and the two of them collapsed in a heap and froze at the sight of Lily and Snape, both standing still with their wands raised. Snape was looking directly at Lily, his face a curious mixture of anger and horror; it was obvious he hadn't realised she was there when he fired off his curse. They all stayed still for a moment, a frozen tableau, and then the most unexpected thing that could have happened, happened.

Lily stunned Snape, with a force and vehemence that none of them had ever seen from her before, and his face had a second to register his shock before he crumpled to the floor.

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**********A/N: Leave me some love people. Or some criticisms in fact. Or a random splurge of words that expresses your feelings about this chapter. Or tell me which is your favourite Harry Potter book. Whatever. I just like it when people talk to me. Come talk to me on Tumblr if you like : ************scared-of-clouds (.tumblr .com). I'm nice, honest.**  


**********Also, thank you to everyone who waded in on my Harry/animagus question, I appreciate you taking the time!  
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	31. Chapter 31 - Home

******A/N: So. Reviews for last chapter. So many lovely reviews. I love my readers. Every one of you.  
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******Here is the next chapter. It's mostly fluff. I find myself pretty comfortable with that.**

******This chapter is dedicated to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and made me extra-motivated to finish on time.**

******Hope you enjoy it.**

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'Lily.'

The deep voice whispered quietly in her ear, and she buried her face deeper in her pillow in an attempt to ignore it.

'Lily.'

It came again, slightly louder, and this time it was accompanied with a soft press of lips on the patch of skin just under her ear. She wriggled back slightly, until she felt her back collide with a solidly muscled chest and a pair of arms came around her, wrapping her in a warm embrace. She felt his chest reverberate with his laughter as he pulled her even tighter to him and kissed the very tip of her ear.

'It's time to get up.'

'It's Saturday.' She mumbled and rolled in the bed so she could press her face to his chest. 'And I'm sleeping.'

'No you're not.' His fingertips grazed lightly up her side, and he laughed again when he felt a shiver run through her body, a shiver caused by his hands. 'You're pretending.'

'I'm not. I'm asleep.' She pushed her face closer to him and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his skin.

'You're not. You're talking to me.' His breath brushed her ear as he continued to whisper to her, the fingers of one hand tangling through her hair while the other rested on the curve of her waist.

'I'm sleep talking.' She kept her eyes resolutely shut.

'You're too coherent to be sleep talking.' His lips ran down the side of her face, lingering in each spot they landed on as they worked their way down to the corner of her mouth.

'The frogs have taken my biscuit.' She mumbled out sleepily.

James let out a loud shout of laughter at that one. 'Nice try love. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but you leave me with no choice.'

'Wha..?' Lily's question died in her throat as she felt the warmth of James' body leave her, and then a rush of cold air hit every inch of her exposed skin.

'Potter!' She sat bolt upright in bed, her eyes flying open to see her boyfriend stood at the side of the bed gripping the quilt he'd just so rudely ripped off her and laughing hysterically at her facial expression. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

'Oh, it's funny now Potter! Wait till I die of hypothermia, then you'll be sorry!'

She crawled onto her knees and made her way across the bed to make a grab for the warm duvet; he lifted it out of her reach.

'Are you getting up?'

'James Potter, you give me that quilt right now!' She folded her arms across her chest, half to illustrate her outrage at this treatment and half for the warmth of having her arms round her.

He looked at her and then looked down at the quilt in his hands. 'If you want my opinion, you look much better without it.' He raised his eyebrows as his eyes skimmed over her, taking in her state of undress.

'I couldn't give a doxy about how I look right now, you Hippogriff's arse, I'm freezing!' Goosebumps were breaking out all over her skin to prove it, and she shivered slightly.

'Well if it's just warmth you want, you should have _said_. I can manage that.' James discarded the quilt onto the floor beside the bed and tackled her onto it. They collapsed onto the mattress in a pile of tangled limbs and messy hair and easy laughter.

'How are you always so _warm_?' Lily hugged James to her, enjoying the feel of his warm skin pressed against her.

'Don't know. Naturally hot-blooded?' He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively and she swatted him lightly on the shoulder in reproach.

'What time is it anyway?'

James' answer was muffled by her skin, since he didn't bother to stop pressing kisses onto her shoulder to answer her question. '8:30.'

'Bloody hell James.' She groaned as her head fell back and hit the mattress. 'Why am I up at 8:30 on a Saturday?'

'Because, you complete delinquent, it's your last Saturday of detention. Filch will be expecting you in his office by 9:15.' His trailed his lips up and down her arm.

'Oh bugger.' She squeezed her eyes shut.

'Knew you'd forgotten.'

'Not so much forgotten, as tried to repress the memory actually. I still have the bruises from _last _Saturday's detention. The man's a sadist.'

James ceased his tireless stream of kisses and lifted his head to look at her. 'What bruises? Where? I didn't see any.' He pulled away from her and began to inspect her skin. 'If he's making you do something that's hurting you, I swear, squib or not, I will have _no_ qualms about transfiguring him into a bowtruckle and releasing him into the forest.'

Lily laughed out loud at that. 'Don't be an idiot Potter.'

'Don't call me Potter, _Evans_.' His eyes met hers and she could see that actual spark of concern in them, hiding behind the laughter and the jokes.

'I'll call you whatever I damn well please.' She raised her head to place a kiss on his neck. 'And he's not doing anything _awful_, he's just got me reorganising the store cupboards and I keep bashing into things as I'm moving them around. You may have noticed that I'm not the most co-ordinated person in the world.'

She saw his face relax and his lips came down to catch hers. He rubbed his nose gently against her cheek as he whispered to her. 'Where are these bruises then?'

She laughed quietly at him and ran a hand into his hair. 'I was mostly kidding. They've all gone except for the two on my left leg. Down by my ankle.'

He released his grip on her and moved down the bed until his face was level with her ankle. She felt his lips brush gently over each bruise and then the tingling sensation of his breath as he whispered a healing charm into her skin. He kissed his way back up her leg to her knee until the tickling feeling made her squirm and giggle and kick her legs out, then he slid himself up until he was lying alongside her on his stomach, and he buried his face in her hair, his hand reaching for hers and twining their fingers together.

Glancing down at her leg, she saw the bruises fade and disappear, and was reminded of the day back in July when he came to collect her from her house, the day he had stroked his fingers over her hand and healed the pain even as they took verbal swipes at each other. Remembering it now, she rolled onto her side and tugged on his hand so he'd do the same. Once they were facing each other she began to speak.

'Remember that day you came to get me? After you'd owled me about Marly's parents?'

James smiled at her and reached his free hand out to play with a lock of her hair. 'Rather fondly actually.'

'You healed my hand. I was being pretty snippy with you, and you did it anyway.' There was an unspoken question there; James knew her well enough to know what she was really asking.

'It looked painful.' He answered simply. 'Why leave someone hurting if you can help them?'

The answer made a smile break out on her face. It was such a _James_ thing to say, such a kind way of looking at the world. He may avoid showing it to many people – including her for a long time – but that compassion and thoughtfulness was always there; instilled in him, no doubt, from an early age by his parents, who were inordinately kind themselves. It was in the way he behaved with his friends, the way he handled the younger students, but mostly it was there in the way he treated her, with the utmost care and tenderness.

'And besides, it was you. You may not have believed it then, but I would have helped you with anything I could, if you would have let me.' His hand traced the outline of her cheekbone. 'And it gave me an excuse to touch you.' That mischievous grin spread across his face. 'That cannot be overstated; I'd never pass up an opportunity like that.'

She grinned back at him. 'For a minute there, I was about to credit you with being selfless and sweet. Once again I misjudge you.'

'Hey! I'm lovely. And I'm _always_ sweet.'

'Yeah, you keep thinking that.' She teased, jabbing her fingers into his ribs. She caught sight of the clock on the wall and groaned. 'I need to get dressed and go to detention.' She hopped off the bed and grabbed the duvet, wrapping it around her, before turning to him and poking her tongue out. He lay on his back, propped up on his elbows as he watched her gather up her clothes, still lying discarded all over the floor. He was still watching her when his shirt hit him in the face.

'Up and at 'em. If I have to be up, so do you.' He grinned at her and pulled his t-shirt on over his head, messing his hair up even more than normal. He stood up and pulled on his trousers before he began the hunt for his belt.

'You wouldn't tell me back then in July how you learnt to do healing charms wandlessly. Is that another of your secrets Potter?' Lily phrased the query in a careless tone of voice, but again he could hear the real question she was asking. She was asking for the truth, and he would give it to her.

He had promised her once to tell her all his secrets, and he'd meant it, but _Merlin_, there were a fair few of them. He'd never realised quite how secretive he'd become over the course of his life. In truth, he couldn't keep track of what he'd already told her and what she was still in the dark about, so he'd adopted a policy of just telling her anything she wanted to know when she asked. It was far easier than trying to remember what they'd already discussed and what he still needed to reveal. Thinking about it now, he was actually surprised that this one hadn't come up before.

'Well, it's related to one.' He flopped down into a sitting position on the edge of the bed and met her eyes in the mirror, where she was attempting to tame her hair into a serviceable ponytail.

'When we were trying to become animagi, we read a lot of magical theory. It all said that becoming an animagus was easier if you were in touch with your magic in a more natural way; using it without a wand to direct it. So, we tried it.'

'I was under the impression that being able to use wandless magic is quite a rare and difficult thing James. What made you think you could do it?'

'Logic.' He smiled as her brow furrowed, and he decided a different approach was necessary to explain. 'How old were you when you first did magic?'

'Er, eight or nine I think? That's when I first remember doing it anyway, there may have been a few times before. Why?'

'Because you didn't have a wand till you were eleven. You did magic without it.'

'Accidental magic, James, I hardly…'

'You did _wandless _magic. It may have been accidental, but you still had the capability.' He cut her off. 'The magic is part of you, the wand merely directs it. The only reason it's rare for people to use wandless magic is because we all spend so much time learning how to use the wand to direct it, to enhance it, that we don't focus on using it without one.'

He laughed at her expression. Her mouth opened and closed once or twice before she found words. 'You're right.' She was completely astounded; aged thirteen, he and his friends had somehow managed to have an incredibly complex view of magical theory that she struggled to fit in her head now. 'You're completely right, every witch or wizard has latent magic, there's no reason why everyone can't do wandless magic. Why aren't we taught it?'

He shrugged. 'Wands allow you to do much more complex spell work, and they enhance your natural abilities. Even rather powerful wizards could only perform the more basic spells wandlessly. I guess they think it's not worth it; I had a couple of very specific reasons to try.'

Lily's eyes zeroed back in on him, her eyebrows rising. 'A couple of reasons?'

He nodded. 'Yeah, number one, we thought it would make the animagus transformation easier. And I'm not going to lie, it does. But I focused on wandless healing charms specifically, because if we did it right, and we were going to spend full moons with Moony, we knew sooner or later one of us would get hurt, and we'd be in the middle of the Forbidden Forest with no wands. Wandless magic starts to sound like a good idea at that point.'

'I can imagine.' She nodded slowly, her eyes fixed on the floor as she contemplated what she'd heard. A thought occurred to her and she looked up at him sharply. 'Could you cast a shield charm, or summoning charm wandlessly?'

He was startled by the sudden question, and it took him a moment to think it through and answer. 'In theory, yes. Me personally? Probably not. It's not much different than wand magic really; you have to practice till you get it right, and I've never tried those without a wand. It'd take me a while to learn. Why?'

'Because think what it would mean in a duel. Even if your opponent disarmed you, you could still protect yourself or summon your wand back.'

'Huh.' He mulled the idea over for a moment. 'How have I never thought of that?'

'Because you were too busy using your powers for nefarious purposes.' She teased. 'Honestly, you have all these talents and you use them to run around the forbidden forest once a month. You're a disgrace, James Potter, you really are.'

His eyes sparked as he took her in, the partially tidy red hair, the laughing lips, the pale skin. 'Get over here and I'll show you how much of a disgrace I am.' He lunged for her and she darted out of his way.

'Not a chance! Firstly, you made me get up so I'm mad at you, and secondly, I'd be late for detention.' She pulled a pouty face at him but surrendered surprisingly easily when he caught her arms and dragged her over to him.

'Have I mentioned how proud of you I am?' he murmured into her hair.

'What, you're proud that I have detention?' She rolled her eyes. 'Only you, Potter.'

'Not just any detention, Evans. You, _Lily Evans_, have detention for stunning Severus Snape. If I hadn't already been in love with you, I would have fallen hard, right at the moment that burst of red light hit his chest. His face was _priceless_.'

'He made me mad.' She mumbled into his chest. Truth was - though she still had no doubt that Snape had thoroughly deserved it - she was slightly embarrassed about the whole thing now, losing her temper in front of everybody and earning herself three weeks' worth of weekend detentions.

She'd just been so angry; at those idiot Slytherins who thought it was fun to torment younger kids, at Regulus for the pain he was causing his brother, but most of all at Snape. She was bloody _furious_ with Snape, who seemed determined to hurt her; he'd destroyed any relationship they'd had with a single word, and then he'd tried repeatedly to interfere in her life as if he had the _slightest _right to an opinion any more. The sight of him aiming a curse at _anyone's_ unprotected back would have made her fume, but the fact that it had been James had sent her completely off the edge of crazy.

James rubbed soothing hands up and down her back. 'Come on, you'll be late. I'll walk you down, I'm meeting Moony anyway.'

He slid a hand over hers and gave a reassuring squeeze as he gripped it. They left his room and headed down, through their common room and out.

'What are you and Remus up to, and without your partners in crime?' she asked, swinging their joint hands lightly.

'Going to see Dumbledore. Moony reckons we ought to tell him our suspicions; about trying to discredit him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's thought of it himself, but still.'

'He'd want to hear it I'm sure. Even if he has thought of it, I'm sure he'd be interested in what you want to say.'

He smiled down at her and pulled her to a stop. 'This is where we part ways I'm afraid love. Want me to sneak you up some breakfast later? I can use the map, make sure we don't get caught by Filch.'

'No, I'm not hungry. See you at lunch.' She stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips, then had to wriggle her way out of his arms when he refused to let go. 'Idiot. See you later.'

'Enjoy your detention!' He shouted after her, causing her to stop and glare at him.

'Remind me again how me and Sirius got detentions, and you and Marly didn't?'

James snorted. 'Because Marly and I were trying to _stop _a fight; you and Padfoot were _engaging_ in one.' The corners of his mouth twitched as he took in her disgruntled expression, but he successfully repressed the smile, knowing she wouldn't appreciate being laughed at. 'If it helps, you stunning Snape was one of the sexiest things I've ever seen.'

She looked stonily at him, taking in his mock-innocent expression and sternly refused to allow her lips to twitch in response. Not trusting her mouth with an answer, she shot him the finger and turned haughtily around and walked away.

At least, that was the intention. She hadn't gone more than a few steps when a large hand grabbed her elbow and spun her around; James walked her backwards until her back hit the wall, then he leant down and kissed her.

His mouth clung onto hers and his hands rested on her hips, his body penning her between the wall and him and her mouth responded to his automatically, her body moulding to his as if it was what it was meant for.

'I wasn't kidding about the sexy thing.' He whispered in her ear as he broke away from her mouth long enough to nibble her ear.

'James, I have_ detention.' _His lips worked their way down her neck and across her shoulder, his hand pulling her shirt to reveal more bare flesh to kiss.

'Filch is waiting for me right now, and _you_ were the one who…oh, never mind.'

She pulled her mouth back to his and drowned in his kiss.

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Monday morning found her in a compartment of the Hogwarts Express, sat on James lap and listening to his voice as he relayed his conversation with the Headmaster to the rest of their friends.

'…so he nodded and said thanks for telling him; he had his own suspicions about what's happening, but it's always good to get a different perspective, blah, blah.'

'Well, he was never likely to fall over himself to confirm anything was he?' Frank stretched his arms out in front of him and cracked his knuckles. 'Dumbledore likes to keep his cards close to his chest.'

'Still, I feel better for telling him.' Remus was sitting on the floor of the compartment; he wasn't feeling well, and he said the motion of the train didn't affect him as badly if he was on the floor. The others had given him a number of odd looks, ranging from confused to disbelieving, but at some point during the trip they'd become used to it. 'He might know what to do with the information but I don't.'

'Well, there isn't much else we can do.' Sirius shrugged. 'We've covered as much defensive magic as we can with the younger kids, and we've got as many people as possible watching the Slytherins and trying to keep castle under control. We've told Dumbledore everything we know, now it's down to him.'

'He's playing the long game I think.' Peter put in. 'He knows far more than he'd ever let slip to any of us; I think he has a plan, whether he's letting us in on it or not. He knows what he's doing.'

'I'm sure you're right Pete.' Remus smiled up at his friend. 'If we can't trust Dumbledore then we may as well give up right now.'

'Oh, let's talk about something else.' Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Sirius slid along the bench to give her more room, in a surprisingly gentlemanly move. 'This is depressing enough when we're at school, I personally am looking forward to being at home for a couple of weeks where I won't have to wander around with my wand half-drawn all the time.'

'Whatever you say Em.' Marlene smiled mischievously. 'Let's discuss how embarrassed Lily will be by the time we get back on this train in two weeks.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Why do you expect me to be embarrassed?'

'Because Prongs is going to be staying in your house, my little tiger.' Sirius' grin matched Marlene's. 'Just think; your parents might break out the baby photos, your mum might feel the need to give you both "The Talk", your dad might feel the need to threaten Prongs with actual bodily harm…'

'We covered that at New Year actually.' James cut in casually. As everybody turned to look at him he began to look a little uncomfortable. 'The bodily harm thing I mean. Definitely not "The Talk". That would have been weird.'

'My father threatened you?' Lily looked a little disbelieving and James shrugged.

'In a friendly way. He also said he liked me, so I chose to overlook the threats.'

Lily sighed. 'My parents have gone bonkers. My dad threatens you and my mum tells me to marry you.'

James pressed his lips to Lily's collarbone. 'I knew your mum liked me. And I'm quite interested in the baby photos actually. I bet you were _adorable._'

Lily beamed at him and lifted her face to press her lips to his. His arms pulled her further onto his lap, and her hands wound into her hair as hers reached around his neck to pull him that little bit nearer.

'Oh bloody hell you two, can't it wait till you're alone? You make me sick.' Marlene groaned, and Lily pulled away from James, a blush staining her cheeks. He laughed and re-arranged Lily on his lap, and they both tuned back into the conversation, which had turned to the possibilities of Sirius becoming a Witch Weekly model once they left Hogwarts.

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'Remember James, make yourself at home! I know it's completely different to what you're used to, but we'd like you to feel you can relax here.' Rose fluttered cheerfully around James, ushering him into the kitchen and offering him tea, biscuits or any other type of foodstuff he could conceivably want. Lily rolled her eyes and wondered why she'd bothered coming home at all; her mother would have been happy if she'd just sent James. She caught her father's eye, and he gave her the exact same eye-roll; apparently her mother's fawning over James wasn't only noticed by her.

'I'm just going to put our things upstairs mum, I'll be back.' Rose looked up and nodded, barely breaking stride in her flow of conversation with James, but he pushed his chair away from the table and stood up.

'I'll do that Lily, you shouldn't have to lug my things around…'

'Oh hush, James, she'll be using magic, it's not like she's going to be carrying them. And your tea's nearly ready.' Her mother pushed him back into his chair and Lily couldn't quite hide a smile at the look on James' face as Rose mothered him excessively; she could best describe it as a mixture of terror and politeness. She gave him a quick wink and left the kitchen, intent on moving their trunks and returning to him as quickly as possible, before her mother completely smothered him with affection.

She felt her heart sink when she arrived on the upstairs landing to find Petunia leaning against the frame of her open bedroom door.

'Why are you back?' Her sister asked without preamble. No attempt at a greeting or a civil conversation.

'It's the Easter holidays Tuney. Is it so shocking that I might come and spend it at home?'

'You don't always. Don't you need to revise for your "special" exams this year?' Petunia sneered.

Lily took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice even. 'Yes, but I can revise here. And NEWTS aren't until after OWLs so I have a little longer than before.' She steeled herself for the backlash before she spoke her next sentence. 'And mum invited James specially.'

Just as she expected, her sister's face set into a mask of extreme fury. 'You brought him here? Into our house?'

'Yes. I brought _my _boyfriend into _our_ house. At mum's specific invitation.' Lily walked past her sister, trunks levitating along behind her, ignoring her sister's fury. She sent her trunk flying into her room and James' into the small guest room alongside it.

'You can't use that one. Vernon's staying over after dinner on Easter Sunday, he's sleeping in there.'

'Take it up with mum or dad.' Lily said shortly. 'I'm just following instructions.'

She turned to head back downstairs, more eager than ever to re-join James in the kitchen, but she was brought up short by Petunia's voice again.

'Are you _trying_ to wreck my life?'

Lily felt her temper flare, but she pushed down on the anger and tried her best to maintain a level tone of voice. 'How am I _in any way_ affecting your life by bringing my boyfriend home?'

Petunia moved towards her, her face turning a particularly vivid puce colour as her voice dropped down to a hiss. 'I had to explain to Vernon about you. The truth. I'm lucky he's still around. I might never have had to say anything if you'd just stayed away!'

'Tuney, even if I'd stayed at school for Easter, I'd have come home eventually. You wouldn't be able to avoid me forever.'

'I planned on giving it a very good shot.'

Lily tried to pretend that didn't hurt, that her sister's obvious distaste for her wasn't one of the biggest hurts in her life.

'What, you were going to keep it a secret forever? That's a hell of a lie Tuney.'

'Don't you stand there and judge me!' Petunia's voice rose slightly, then she caught herself and lowered her voice. 'I'm getting married in June and moving out; after that we'd have no reason to see each other except at family gatherings and _he'd never have needed to know_!'

Lily sucked in a breath, trying to steady her heart rate. Her sister wanted to cut her out of her life. Hated her enough to want to avoid contact as much as possible. 'Really Tuney? You hate me that much?'

Petunia gave an exasperated sigh and folded her arms. 'I don't hate you Lily. I just don't want you in my life.'

That stung. Possibly more than anything she'd ever said before. Lily bit her lip until she had her breathing firmly under control.

'So that's it. You get married, move out and never see me again?'

'Not never. Just not often. What would be the point?' Petunia moved past her towards the bathroom, but stopped before she actually opened the door and continued speaking, determinedly keeping her back to Lily. 'I just wish you'd stayed away. God, you couldn't even give me some time with mum and dad where they actually notice I exist before I move out. You had to come home, and drag some other part of the circus freak show along with you; you always have the spotlight. Beautiful, smart, bubbly, _magical _Lily. Always the special one.'

Lily imagined she looked more or less like a fish at that point, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to absorb her sister's words. She had no words to respond with; she felt like she didn't have any _breath_ to respond with. The bathroom door slammed and she was alone on the landing. James. She needed James.

She took the stairs two at a time, disregarding potential parental disapproval, and hurried along the short passageway to the kitchen; the tears in the back of her throat were choking her, but she refused to let them fall. She pushed the door open and saw James still sat at the table, amusedly flicking through a muggle newspaper.

Thanking Merlin he was alone, she climbed into his lap - ignoring his look of surprise - buried her face in the crook of his neck and let the silent tears fall. Her body shook with them, shivers that ran the length of her spine and back again. They soaked into his collar as he enveloped her body with his arms, as he stroked her hair and held her silently. Her mother came through the door, calling something out to James as she came, but she stopped short at the sight in front of her. She met James' eyes over Lily's shoulder and he gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. She acknowledged him with a brief nod and left the kitchen, heading upstairs to find her oldest daughter.

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The next few days were fantastic in some ways, and incredibly difficult in others; no matter how much she tried to avoid any confrontations, any reminders of gloom, it was like the world was determined to force her troubles on her at every moment of happiness she managed to carve out.

Lily showed James around the area, all the places she played as a child. As they sat on the swings in the park where she'd done some of her earliest magic, she caught sight of Snape somewhere in the shadows. She didn't tell James, but she did hurry to get him home.

They spent most evenings that week with her parents, eating dinner and watching movies – a new and fascinating thing for James – and they laughed, and ate popcorn, and the dreaded baby photos did indeed make an appearance. Petunia went out every night.

Fantastic, but difficult.

But then Easter weekend came around, and Lily's parents were thrilled when James presented them with a hamper of wizarding chocolates and sweets for the family. He explained that he didn't know what they had previously tried, or what they would like individually, so he bought some of everything. Lily rolled her eyes at her mother's effusive and affectionate delight at this generosity, but seeing her parents happily experimenting with wizarding confectionary made her indisputably cheerful. It gave her hope that her two worlds could find some common ground, that she could somehow keep both of them. She'd been upset initially when Petunia had changed her plans and chosen to go and stay with the Dursleys for Easter, but James had convinced her – in that infuriatingly logical way he had – that a little distance would allow them both to calm down and she could attempt to talk to her sister again later. She forced the memory of her argument with her sister to the back of her mind and focused on her time with her parents and James.

She was woken early on Easter Sunday by James tickling her feet. She was about to kick him into oblivion when he appeased her with coffee and the delicious smell of fresh pastry. She'd never been able to resist Danish pastries. Or sugar in any form for that matter. Still, she made a point of swiping the plate from his hand grumpily as she settled herself back on her pillows in an upright position, pushing her hair behind her ears.

James thought he'd rarely seen anything so beautiful. There she was, in one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts, hair haphazardly pushed off her face, eyes sleepy and hooded, and she was fantastic. He saw her every day, and still, it never stopped surprising him how damn pretty she was. He placed a wrapped box on the duvet beside her and waited.

She stopped chewing; he looked down at the box, then back up and him. Then she swallowed her mouthful before speaking.

'And what is that?'

'Easter present.'

She nodded slowly and put her plate on her bedside table. 'An Easter present. So what exactly were all those boxes of chocolate you gave me yesterday Potter?'

'Your other Easter presents.' He shrugged. 'They didn't seem like much.'

'I didn't get you anything.' He rolled his eyes at her.

'And you aren't supposed to waste money on me.'

'Buying you a present is _not_ wasting my money.' He frowned at her stubborn expression and sighed. 'Just open it; there's a point.'

Lily pulled the gift to her and opened it carefully. She found a polished wooden box, like a large jewellery box. She looked at him curiously and he gestured for her to open it. She pushed the brass catch and found - nestled in blue velvet - a pair of small wooden boxes, about the size of cigar boxes, each intricately carved with different patterns of vines.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, obviously at a loss over what she was seeing. He reached out and picked one of the boxes up. 'They're binding boxes; pick up the other, I need to bond it to your magical signature.'

'You aren't bonding me to anything until you explain what they are James.' Lily folded her arms and settled her most stubborn expression on her face. He looked at her and sighed.

'They're…kind of like miniature travelling cabinets; you put something in yours and it'll appear in mine, no matter how far apart we are. Within reason of course; you can use a shrinking charm and send something, but only up to a certain size, and it won't transport living things. I thought it would be kind of like the mirrors Padfoot and I have; a way to keep in touch no matter where we are. And like the wards at my house, they're bound to us – they only open for us. Totally secure.' He paused and tried to gauge her reaction before continuing. 'There are some in our vault – family heirlooms and all – but I thought it would be nice to have new ones; that are just ours.' He paused again and cleared his throat nervously. 'I should say…I mean, you should know, that traditionally these were given as engagement gifts, but that's not what I mean by it – I like to think I'd manage a better proposal than this…'

'James, you're rambling.' Lily said gently.

'I know.' He reached for her hand and held it in his. 'I just thought they'd be good if we both join the Order – we can keep in touch without risking exposure. I know it worries you.'

Lily let go of his hands long enough to crawl into his lap and wrap herself completely around him.

'Thank you James.'

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'Mum?' Lily paused as she dried coffee cups, glancing at her mother's back as she busied herself with putting away crockery. They were alone in the kitchen after dinner, Rose having chased the men away.

'Yes sweetheart?' Her mother straightened and turned to face her younger daughter.

'I'm guessing you've probably figured out that James is rich?'

Rose laughed out loud. 'The giant manor house and expensive Christmas gifts were clues, yes.'

Lily blushed a little. 'Well, he's got this idea into his head that when we finish school he's going to buy a house, and get a group of us to live there. I was just wondering…what you and Dad would think, if I was part of the group living there.'

'I can't say I'm surprised dear.'

Lily's eyebrows rose, but her mother returned to her task as she continued speaking.

'Well, I am in a way, because I rather thought you and James would be used to the privacy of your dorm; I thought you'd want your own place. But I can see why you'd want to live as a group; after all you're both close with your friends and it's what you've had at school for so long.'

Lily nodded slowly as if giving her mother's words some serious consideration. Rose pulled a chair out and sat down, gesturing for Lily to do the same.

'Lily, sweetheart, if you're asking for my permission in some convoluted way…well you don't need it. You're an adult. But if you're asking me if I _approve_…well, I approve of James, very much. And I trust you both to make good decisions. If this is what you want, then…I'm happy for you.'

'Thanks mum.' Lily smiled. 'I just…wanted to know what you thought.'

'Well, it's good to know I'm not obsolete yet.' Her mother gave her a kiss on the cheek and stood back up. 'I'll finish these chores – why don't you go and find James?'

Lily stood and hugged her mother, before leaving the kitchen at rapid pace. Rose paused in her tidying momentarily, and stared out of the window as she saw Lily join James in the garden. She watched her baby girl walk into a young man's arms and _belong there_. Coming to a decision, she walked over to the kitchen dresser and pulled open the drawer. She reached in and pulled out a small velvet box.

Popping it open she admired her mother's engagement ring, with its single diamond set in gold. It was sweet and simple, and so very Lily. Lily had always had so much in common with her grandmother and had been crushed when she'd passed away. Rose was sure she'd appreciate this. She pulled a pen and sheet of paper from the dresser and sat at the table.

_Dear James, _

_This box contains my mother's engagement ring. Lily loved her very much, and I've kept this for her ever since her gran passed away; I know she would appreciate having it. I'm giving it to you, because I know that you will give it to her, one way or another._

_If you prefer to buy her a ring, or wanted to give her one of your family heirlooms – of which I'm sure there are many – then that is, of course, fine. But I know I can trust you to make sure she gets this no matter what. _

_I hope you don't think I'm being overly presumptuous; but I know my daughter, and I see the way she looks at you. I may not know you as well as I do her, but I see the way you look at her too. _

_Take care of her James._

_Love_

_Rose Evans_

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	32. Chapter 32 - Dangerous

******A/N: Happy World Book Day! **

******Once again, thank you so much to everyone who left a review, you have no idea how much reading them makes me smile. I get this goofy grin on my face whenever I get a notification that someone has followed, favourited or reviewed, so thank you to everyone who brightened my days over the last week or so.  
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******This update is late, so I'm going to shut up now and let you read it. I'll save my rambling justification for my tardiness for the end of the chapter.**

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No matter how difficult the Easter holidays had been for Lily personally, they turned out to be a short-lived reprieve; they hadn't been back at Hogwarts a day before the teachers began to pile on the work ahead of their NEWTS at the end of May. This was why Lily found herself bad-temperedly dragging a substantial bag of books back from the library on a Sunday afternoon, cursing the fact that the Head's living quarters were five floors up from the library, when she was intercepted by a second year waving a note. She snatched it grumpily and muttered an incredibly disingenuous thank you to the brunette girl who'd handed it to her. The second year nervously backed away from the expression on the Head Girl's face and turned to head back downstairs. Lily mentally berated herself for her rudeness and called a far more sincere thank you after the girl, who acknowledged it with a brief nod. Lily unfurled the parchment and scanned through it, her mood deteriorating further with every line. She thrust the note in her pocket with a scowl, shouldered her heavy bag again and continued her stomp towards her dorm.

The bright April sunlight was streaming through the windows, lighting up the quiet Head's common room; quiet until Lily's school-bag hit the floor with a thud, having been thrown rather aggressively to the ground, and the redhead threw herself down on one of the sofas, crossed her arms and glowered around the room. James lifted his quill from the parchment he was working on and looked over at his girlfriend, then back at Frank and Alice who were sat on the floor with him as they went over their Herbology homework. Frank shrugged and Alice just gave him a little smile and an encouraging "go ahead" gesture.

He cleared his throat and turned his head to face his fuming girlfriend.

'Everything okay Lils?'

Her eyes flashed to his face and burned holes in him, and he knew instantly that it had been the wrong thing to say.

'Oh everything's peachy! No problems here! Unless you count that the ministry is run by prejudiced idiots.'

She huffed her exasperation and determinedly looked away from him, her scowl fixed on the window on the far side of the room. James put down his parchment and quill and stood up to make his way over to her. Frank caught his attention and pointed at himself and Alice before gesturing towards the door. James shook his head; they needed to get their work done since NEWTS were so close, and he knew Lily's moods well enough to recognise that she was more frustrated than angry, and that she needed an opportunity to vent. He was pretty confident he could have her calmed down very shortly, and if he couldn't, well Frank and Alice could make their exit later if needs be.

He sat himself down next to her and she angled her body further so she was half facing away from him. He took the opportunity to rub her shoulders gently.

'What happened Lil?' He kept his voice quiet and comforting and continued to knead her shoulders gently, trying to soothe out the tension in them.

She sighed and reached into a pocket, pulling out a note that she handed to him. He paused his ministrations for a moment to take it and read, his brow furrowing as he scanned quickly through it.

'You have got to be kidding me.' He re-read the note, wondering if it would make more sense second time around. No, definitely not.

'Is it bad news?' Alice's quiet voice came somewhat hesitantly.

'You could say that.' James glanced at Lily, noting that most of the rigidity had gone out of her posture. He touched her arm gently and she half-turned back towards him. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand and skimmed through the letter again.

'It's from Dumbledore, he needs to see us tomorrow to discuss something.'

Lily let out a snort and turned fully around so that she could address her friend directly.

'The Ministry had decided to give an Order of Merlin to Decimus Doubtstone.' Her tone of voice left no doubt about her distaste for this act by the Ministry, but Frank and Alice's faces remained confused. 'You've not heard of him?' She asked, watching them intently. They both furrowed their brows as they thought, but were forced to shake their heads when they couldn't bring anything to mind.

James pulled Lily along the sofa a little until she was tucked into his side and he waited a moment before he spoke. 'Decimus Doubtstone proposed – and wrote actually – the Muggleborn Registration Act.'

Frank curled his lip. 'You mean that dogmatic piece of crap your mum just got overturned?'

James felt his face lift into a smile at that; it was worth remembering that while a bigoted git like Doubtstone had managed to get the Wizengamot to approve that legislation, his mother's legal department had gotten it repealed in a matter of weeks, before they could even begin implementing it. The Ministry wasn't wholly rotten.

'Yeah that.' Lily was starting to sound defeated. 'Being a pure-blood extremist gets you an Order of Merlin these days.'

'I'm sure that won't be the reason on the plaque Lils.' James gave her a squeeze, but her knew there was very little he could do to make her feel better; giving a prestigious award to someone who was so openly in favour of pure-blood supremacy was a slap in the face to muggle-born witches and wizards. It didn't matter what the Ministry claimed the award was for, the suspicion in the community would always be that it was given because the Ministry tacitly approved of his principles. He was pretty sure that Lorcan McLaird, the current Minister for Magic, wasn't a blood-purist, but the creeping influence of the blood purity movement wasn't something he could control or ignore.

'I know.' Lily's voice had lost all the fight that had been in it when she came in. She sounded lost. 'But it's just one more thing to make people like me feel like we're not welcome in this world.'

Alice sat upright at that. 'What do you mean, people like you Lil? What does that mean?'

Lily glanced over at her friend, obviously surprised by the hint of temper in her friend's words. 'Well, you know Al. Muggle-borns.'

'You listen to me Lily Evans.' Alice pointed an accusing finger at Lily and Frank looked at his girlfriend in surprise at her unusually aggressive tone.

'You're a _witch_.' Alice continued. 'That's it. Everything else is irrelevant. You belong in this world because you're a witch. Other people will judge you by your blood-status, it's true, and that's _terrible_. But you shouldn't judge _yourself_ by your blood-status – you shouldn't let them make you think that you're some kind of sub-group of society. If you do that, if you let them make you believe that you're different to me, or Frank, or James because of who your parents are, then they've already won!'

Nobody moved or spoke for a minute as everyone absorbed Alice's words, then Lily suddenly abandoned James on the sofa and threw herself into Alice's arms. The two girls collapsed into a giggling heap on the floor, leaving Frank and James to watch them bemusedly.

After a minute Frank obviously realised that he wasn't going to be getting any sense out of the girls any time soon, and he looked over at James. 'Why did someone feel the need to write Lily a note to tell her that this douchebag is getting an Order of Merlin?'

James glanced down at the note that was still in his hand before flinging it onto the coffee table. He grimaced at it before looking back at his friend. 'It's from Dumbledore. To add insult to injury, the Ministry wants to hold the awarding ceremony here at Hogwarts with students attending, and he wants to speak to us about it tomorrow.'

Frank whistled. 'No wonder she got all worked up.'

'I can hear you, you know.' Lily commented from her position on the floor. She had relinquished her hold on Alice and the two girls were now laying side-by-side on the rug. 'I just saw red when I realised what it said. Bad enough he's getting one at all, the complete arse, but to want to present it at Hogwarts in front of all those muggle-born pupils is just cruel.'

'Not to mention the problems it might stir up for us.' Added Alice.

Frank nodded. 'Too bloody true; all the hexing, the slogans and everything we've managed to more or less put a stop to will probably start up again. If it seems like the Ministry approves of the anti-muggleborn stuff it might just encourage people to take part in it.'

It was true that things had been much quieter at Hogwarts in the last couple of months, and it was almost possible to forget the rocky start to the school year. The prefects had been merciless in handing out severe reprimands and punishments for any infractions, and the Head Boy and Girl had been quick to back them up and approve any and all points deductions and detentions. Their group of allies had grown to a surprising size, and with older students giving out lessons in defence as well as keeping an eye on the student body, there had been no more disturbing use of Unforgivables or ominous slogans daubed on the walls. They had also been watching the older Slytherins particularly closely, and they were fairly sure that they had successfully limited any recruitment they might have been attempting.

Of course it hadn't all been sweetness and light; it was still far too common to hear "mudblood" shouted in the halls, or see your everyday hexes and fights, and there was still an obvious Death Eater presence in the school – the attack on Alice after the Quidditch match had proven that. There was still a clear divide in the student body between the blood-purists and the believers in equality, and the clear sense of tension was definitely still there, but the truly sinister activities seemed to have halted; there had been no sign of use of the Dark Arts in any of the disturbances that had occurred.

Hogwarts, it seemed, was back to normal. Or what passed for it. But it was still an explosion waiting to happen, with so many students on opposite sides of the divide, and this kind of expression of approval from the Ministry could easily push the pure-blood extremists back into their earlier activities, and even more worryingly could potentially sway more students to the ideals of blood-purity.

'We'll see what Dumbledore has to say.' James spoke. 'He's not daft, I'm sure everything we've said has probably already occurred to him. Let's not worry too much yet.'

There were nods from the others, but the dejected silence remained.

'Sod this.' Said Frank, standing up from his spot on the floor. 'Herbology is easy anyway, we'll do it later.'

He stood up and held a hand out to Alice. 'Gryffindor Common room?'

She smiled and grasped his hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet. She looked back down at Lily and poked her with her toe. 'What about you two? There's bound to be a game of exploding snap going on.'

Lily looked at James and held her hands out to him; he rose from the sofa and pulled her to her feet. She relaxed into his side and they followed Alice and Frank from the room; there was no problem so big that some time with her friends couldn't make her feel better.

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James swung their joined hands as he and Lily made their way to Dumbledore's office. His movements became more and more exaggerated until he got a smile out of her; just a faint one, but a smile nonetheless. They paused at the gargoyle to give the password then continued their way up the spiral stairs to the Headmaster's office. Lily knocked on the door, and they pushed it open when they heard their Headmaster's quiet tones call for them to enter.

'Mr Potter and Miss Evans, please come in. Take a seat, I'll be right with you.' He gestured to the two overstuffed armchairs upholstered in deep blue fabric that sat opposite his desk, as they always had whenever she'd been in here. Lily briefly wondered if they were always there, or if the Headmaster conjured them when he was expecting visitors; the room seemed too small and crammed with other items to house two such large chairs at all times. She'd ask James if he knew later, he'd made his fair share of trips up here over the years.

Dumbledore looked the same as always, sat behind his desk surrounded by his rare and magical possessions, but his expression was unusually pensive as he perused a scroll of parchment. After a moment or two of silence, he rolled the parchment back up and lifted his gaze to his two students.

'Your mother is very eloquent and extremely passionate about her beliefs Mr Potter.'

James looked surprised. 'My mother, Professor?'

Dumbledore lifted the parchment in his hand and inclined his head. James eyebrows rose. 'My mother is writing to you? That's a bit of a role reversal from previous years.' Lily's elbow hit him sharply in the stomach just as he finished speaking, but Dumbledore did not seem to mind the impertinence. In fact, he laughed.

'Quite.' He placed the parchment down on his desk and leant forward across his papers. 'And having read the letter she has sent me, I believe you should be extremely grateful that she has never seen fit to send you a howler. Her choice of words leaves you in doubt about her displeasure.'

James smiled to himself, seeing as he was intimately acquainted with his mother's scolding abilities; he liked to think of them as being practised on him – and to a lesser extent, his father - and then honed on Sirius. It was highly amusing to imagine his mother speaking to the venerable professor in such a way. 'Might I ask what matters my mother is corresponding with you about Professor?'

Dumbledore smiled at him. 'She heard about Mr Doubtstone's award, and while she apparently found that appalling enough, she was particularly outraged that the Minister was considering having the ceremony here; there was quite a lot about "corrupting impressionable young minds" and "legitimising a campaign that amounts to little more than ethnic cleansing". I think we can safely say she was displeased with the idea, and was encouraging me not to countenance it.'

James' lips quirked. 'Sounds like mum.'

'Yes, I'm sure you're very familiar with both her politics and her turn of phrase.' Dumbledore smiled at them both and sat slightly more upright. 'And I'm sure you share her beliefs on this matter?'

'Absolutely.' James didn't hesitate for a moment.

'And you, Miss Evans?' Dumbledore trained his piercing blue eyes on her face. Lily hesitated for a moment, unsure as to whether she could discuss her feelings on the subject of blood-purity - which she found to be very personal - with her Headmaster. She decided that honesty was probably always the best policy with Dumbledore, but she still kept her gaze focused elsewhere, unwilling to look a known legilimens directly in the eyes when she was considering such personal thoughts.

'Well, given my background Professor, I rather think my side has been chosen for me. I believe the persecution of muggle-borns is exactly that – persecution. And I believe Doubtstone is nothing more than a bigoted fool who is being given a soapbox to spout his vile propaganda from by the Minister.'

Dumbledore gave them both an unexpected smile as he tapped the tips of his fingers on his desk. 'I'm glad to hear that, because I agree with both yourselves and Mrs Potter whole-heartedly. It is with that in mind that I have refused permission for the ceremony to be held here.'

Lily's head moved of its own accord and she found herself meeting her Headmaster's eyes for the first time; his gaze was unwavering, and she saw absolute honesty in his expression. James, she noticed, looked a little dumbfounded at the revelation. Dumbledore moved his attention to James' face before continuing to speak, the hint of a smile still hovering round the corners of his mouth.

'As Mr Potter has no doubt gathered, Minister McLaird was not happy with my decision in this matter. Unfortunately for him, Hogwarts does not come under the control of the Ministry, and as long as I have the support of the Governors, there is little he can do.' Dumbledore paused for a moment and reached for another scroll on his desk. 'However, I did have to make a concession to win the support of the Governors, and this concession also met with the approval of the Minister.'

Lily stiffened slightly at that as her mind automatically began running through a number of nightmare scenarios, but she relaxed again when James placed a reassuring hand over hers. Dumbledore held the scroll out and James leant forward to take it with his free hand. He unfurled it and began to skim through, a smile beginning to cover his face. When he reached the bottom of the first page he rolled the scroll back up and began to laugh. Lily was sure her confusion was evident on her face, as her Headmaster kindly began to explain.

'The Governors were rather keen on the idea of using Hogwarts for a Ministry award ceremony, no doubt mindful of the publicity and prestige. I am not thrilled with the idea, but as Headmaster I serve the school and its Governors, and I am obliged to take their opinions into account. I was, however, adamant that Mr Doubtstone will not step foot into Hogwarts while I am Headmaster.' Dumbledore smiled gently at Lily before continuing.

'I am pleased to say we reached a happy compromise; Hogwarts _will _host an awards ceremony on behalf of the Ministry, but not for Mr Doubtstone. After all, he is not the only person receiving an award from the Ministry this summer; we will instead host the ceremony for Grant Page.'

Lily's face stayed set in its baffled expression. 'Who?'

James scoffed. '_Grant Page_, Lily. Former Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and current chaser for Caerphilly Catapults. Scored a record number of goals at the last World Cup. One of the best players of his generation.'

'Mr Potter is quite correct Miss Evans. Mr Page is receiving an Order of Merlin for his achievements, and as he attended Hogwarts, it seems far more appropriate that he be awarded here than Mr Doubtstone, who was educated at Durmstrang. The Minister has been persuaded to my point of view.'

The mirth left Dumbledore's eyes, and he was suddenly quite serious as he addressed the two of them.

'The scroll in Mr Potter's hands contains all the plans for the day. I would like you to read it, and familiarise yourselves with it. I'm certain I will be calling on both yourselves and the prefects to help.' He hesitated a moment before continuing. 'I have my concerns about a ceremony such as this being held at Hogwarts. These are dark and difficult times, and I am wary of opening my school to outsiders, even those who are guests of the Ministry. I will be insisting on as much security as possible, but this still presents a possible opportunity for those who would like to cause problems. I would like you to spread the news to the prefects, and make them aware of the potential for trouble.'

He clapped his hands together and the air of apprehension was gone. 'I believe that's all. Thank you both for coming. Please bring any concerns to me.'

Recognising that they were being dismissed, Lily and James rose and left quietly. They stayed silent as they descended the staircase, and once they were in the corridor outside they stopped and faced each other.

'Library?' Suggested Lily, gesturing in that direction.

'Head's Office.' Replied James. 'More privacy. I say we read through this, make notes and then grab the others after dinner for a meeting to run through it all. No matter what security Dumbledore or the Ministry arranges, there are bound to be loopholes; we need to close them.'

Lily rolled her eyes at him. 'What makes you think that we are going to be able to improve on security provided by professionals? It'll be the aurors' responsibility after all, and I think we both agree they are pretty good at what they do. And Dumbledore's no slouch when it comes to magical protection you know.'

'I know.' James agreed. 'Dumbledore is an incredible wizard, and he'll do everything he can to protect this school. And the aurors are largely excellent at their jobs; you are forgetting one important thing though.'

Lily raised one eyebrow. 'And what's that?'

James grinned. 'Nobody knows this school, or these grounds, like the Marauders. We know where the secret passageways are, how to get in or out without being seen and we have a map that will allow one of us to see where everyone is at any given time. But since I can hardly reveal all that to Dumbledore or the aurors, we'll just have to help out without them realising.'

He grabbed her hand and towed her in the direction of their shared office, his enthusiasm for the task putting a spring in his step. Lily allowed herself to be tugged along, torn between being worried over the situation or amused at his zeal.

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'Okay everyone, one more time.' James voice cut through the chatter and his words were met with a loud chorus of groans from the assembled students. The Head's office was crammed full of students –all of whom were prefects, including Dumbledore's recently appointed Emergency Prefects – and the room was stifling. They'd been in there for forty minutes now, patience was wearing thin and tempers were fraying; the atmosphere was not conducive to a positive outcome for the meeting. 'Come on, this is important.'

'Mate, you are channelling your inner Quidditch Captain a little too much here.' Sirius spoke in his usual measured drawl, refusing to allow his calm to be ruffled by his best mate's behaviour, which was bordering on mental as far as he was concerned. Only yesterday he had heard him lay into Steven Corner for being unable to recite a timetable of the security plans for the day of the ceremony. 'If you don't knock it off, I might have to hex you.'

James glowered at him, his rising temper reflected in his face. 'I'd like to see you try it.'

Sirius flicked his wand idly and James' fists tightened up just a little more. Remus, ever the peacemaker, hurried to calm the frayed nerves.

'Save the curses you two, I'm sure there are people you'd rather use them on than each other.'

He spoke reprovingly, getting up from his seat to stand next to James and Lily, who had been watching the developments with amusement. 'And Padfoot, even you're not enough of an idiot to jinx the Head Boy at a prefect meeting, especially not with his girlfriend stood next to him. No-one willingly risks a Lily Evans hex.'

Sirius snorted with laughter and resumed his unconcerned lean against the wall, shooting a quick wink in Lily's direction and smirking at the faint blush rising in her face. The general buzz of conversation had resumed during the disagreement, and James found himself unable to summon the energy to try and get the meeting back on track; the last few days had been exhausting.

The Marauders had made a number of night-time excursions round the grounds, just to scope out the outdoor site that had been chosen for the ceremony and to scout for any potential problems, and the sleepless nights combined with NEWTS, Head duties and the additional pressure of keeping the fragile peace that Hogwarts was currently enjoying were a gruelling combination.

Remus took in James' strained features and tired eyes and he clapped his messy-haired friend on the shoulder reassuringly. 'We've been through it enough mate, everyone knows what they're doing. We can't do any more now.'

'I know.' James slid his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'I just have a really bad feeling that we've missed something, and I just…I don't know, I feel like tomorrow is just destined to go wrong.'

'You should have carried on with Divination mate, you sound just like Professor Mortruss. Been opening your third eye or some shit?' Peter sniggered, and earned himself a glare from James and Remus and a snort of barely concealed laughter from Sirius, who was still listening for all he pretended not to be.

'Right, I've had enough of all of you. Remember what we covered, and make sure you get your lazy backsides to your assigned place on time tomorrow, or so help me, I will not be responsible for my actions. Now bugger off.' James shouted, in a tone that left no doubt about his vexation with them all.

Five minutes of confused chaos followed as everyone began to leave, arguing and pushing as they went, and Lily watched the room empty of everyone but her group of friends with a certain amount of amusement. Her lips quirked as she spoke quietly to James and Remus.

'If we were relying solely on the prefects to keep an eye on this, I might be worried you know. Half of them are crazed with stress over NEWTS and a few of the others are probably Voldemort supporters.'

'Now you mention it, Snape and Wolfson were conspicuously absent weren't they?' James mused. 'I can't wait to dock points. Skipping a prefect meeting.' He tutted quietly and shook his head in mock disappointment, his testy expression clearing slightly at the thought.

Remus gave him a reproving look. 'Perhaps they didn't get the message, it was a little short notice.'

Lily snorted and both boys turned to look at her. 'Of course they got the message; Greengrass, Foxley and Coulter were all here, so the message obviously reached the Slytherin common room. They just couldn't be bothered.' She paused a moment and a faint flush covered her cheeks as she continued in a quieter voice. 'And Snape is still steering well clear of me.'

Sirius let out another of his short laughs. 'Who wouldn't after being hit by a stupefy like that? It was a thing of beauty. I'll tell you this Tiger-Lily, if I didn't think Prongs and Marlene would kill us both, I'd have eloped with you there and then.'

'Thanks Sirius.' Mumbled Lily, still feeling more than a little mortified over her little slip of control. 'It was nearly six weeks ago, you'd think everyone would have forgotten about it by now.'

James put his arm across her shoulders and tugged her into his side and she leaned into him, letting the tension slide out of her posture. Whenever she began to feel too self-conscious about having thrown a hex at Snape, she looked at James and remembered that curse heading for his back, and she felt instantly less embarrassed. He gave her a quick smile then looked directly at Peter for the first time since his dig about Divination.

'Wormtail, reckon you can have a snoop, see if you can find out what the Slytherins were up to today if they weren't here?'

Peter gave a quick nod and stood up. 'I'll get started on that now actually, I'll follow the prefects that _were_ here and see if I can get anything.'

No-one questioned his ability to move around without being noticed. If seven years at school with the Marauders taught you anything, it was that you didn't see them if they didn't want you to, and you were probably better off not knowing their methods. He headed out of the door quickly, letting it swing softly shut behind him.

James pulled Lily round so her chest was pressed into his, and she gave him one of those particularly soft smiles that she reserved just for him. He grinned down at her and kept his eyes on hers as he spoke.

'The rest of you can sod off as well. We're busy.'

Sirius pretended to gag and was manhandled away by Remus, and Alice and Mary followed them out, unable to completely suppress their giggles as the door swung to behind them. James lowered his forehead to Lily's and held them there for a moment before he swung her up into his arms and headed for their private quarters.

'Right Miss Evans. Bedtime.'

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Peter burst into the Great Hall and rushed to join his friends. Sliding into the empty seat alongside Remus he grabbed a few slices of toast and dumped them on his plate then leaned across the table to snatch the butter away from Sirius, who gave him a dirty look and promptly stole Marlene's already-buttered toast from her plate.

'I found out why some of the Slytherins weren't at the meeting yesterday.' He spoke in low tones, making sure his voice couldn't carry beyond the small group. James lifted his head from his plate to look at his friend, who sniggered. 'Notice their table is a little emptier than usual this morning?'

James stretched in his seat and turned his body slightly so he could glance surreptitiously over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. Pete was right, the table was distinctly empty by normal standards; and interestingly enough it seemed to be mostly older students that were missing. He turned back and gave his short friend a questioning look which was met with another snigger.

'Big group of them in the hospital wing.' Peter said quietly, unable to keep the smile off his face. 'Apparently a load of sweets were left in their common room, and the dull bastards were stupid enough to eat them without wondering where they came from or who left them. Now about twenty-five of them are in the hospital wing with some mystery poisoning. Great huh?'

He dug into his food looking remarkably cheerful, ignoring the speechless looks on the faces of the people sat around him. Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at James, who immediately recognised where her brain had gone.

'It wasn't us.' He said quietly but firmly. 'Firstly, if I'd been responsible I wouldn't have needed to ask Pete to check it out, and secondly, I'm not that unimaginative.'

Lily nodded and turned back to her plate of scrambled eggs; she wasn't eating them, she was just pushing them around her plate but it gave her fingers something to do other than twist nervously in her robes. She couldn't shake the memory of James' comment about today being destined to go badly, and the idea had rattled around in her brain all night and had burrowed itself in so firmly she couldn't shake it.

'Well, our job just got easier anyway.' Said Frank cheerfully. 'Since our biggest bunch of potential troublemakers are apparently indisposed, we should have an easier day than we thought.'

'I hope so.' Said Emma quietly. 'I could do with a stress free day.'

'I don't think I'll be having one of those until NEWTS are over.' Said Remus, whose face was hidden behind a large textbook on rune translation.

Sirius reached an arm over and removed the textbook, flinging it down on the bench and sitting on it without taking his eyes from his plate. 'NEWTS are not till May, and it's too early to study.'

'It happens rarely, but I'm forced to agree with Padfoot on this one.' James reached across Lily for the plate of bacon and stole a kiss as he did so, ignoring the looks he was getting from several other people at the breakfast table.

'_You_ would, because you are wretchedly, sickeningly clever and you have a knack for exams. The rest of us have to try a little harder than you do.' Lily removed a sausage from James' plate and placed it on her own, pretending not to notice his outraged look. She waited a moment then kissed his cheek once he'd turned back to his own plate. He gave her a little sideways smile and Marlene groaned.

'No. Don't start. I cannot handle you two being disgustingly loved-up today.' She picked up a bread roll and threw it at James' head, but he caught it easily and threw it back at her. 'Bloody chaser's reflexes.'

James grinned at her. 'You know you love me.'

Remus interrupted what was bound to be an interesting fight. 'If we don't shift it we're going to be late. Shut up and eat your breakfast.'

Even he was surprised when everyone unthinkingly obeyed.

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'So remember Pads…'

'Watch the damn map, if I see anyone dodgy, send a patronus to either Moony or Frank.' Sirius interrupted James going through the finer points of his role for the third time. 'I've got it mate. Go find Lils and get your arse to a seat before one of the teachers notices the absence of the esteemed Head Boy. Go on, go!'

He gave James one last shove out the door, then sighed with relief at being left alone in the Head's office. They'd told McGonagall that Sirius was staying there as a point of contact in case a student needed to get hold of a prefect for any reason, since the rest of them were all required at the ceremony, and she'd seemed surprisingly pleased at this show of initiative. They couldn't exactly give her the real reason; that Sirius was going to watch the Marauder's map for any sign of suspicious activity.

Not that he was really expecting any; he honestly thought that James and the others were making too big a deal out of this. Yeah, a ceremony like this with all the Ministry bigwigs was a nice target for troublemakers, but Dumbledore and everyone else knew that and had taken steps already, he had no doubt about that. Hadn't Dumbledore refused to allow an apparition point inside the grounds, instead requiring everyone to apparate onto the road to Hogsmeade then be checked in through the gates by a pair of aurors? And he'd convinced the Ministry to expand the anti-disapparition jinx so that it covered Hogsmeade and the rest of the area immediately surrounding the school. That spoke volumes to Sirius, but apparently didn't even hand James a note.

He might have been worried about some of the Death Eater sympathisers in the student body making trouble if it hadn't been for the fact that most of them were laid up in the hospital wing. If he ever found out who was responsible for that poisoned candy, he'd send them a cake. Looking forward to a lazy afternoon in the Head's office while everyone else listened to boring speeches, he spread the map out across James' desk and settled down behind it in the desk chair. He used his wand to turn up the wireless, fished a bag of sweets out of his pocket and opened James' new Quidditch Monthly. This day wasn't going to be so bad after all.

An hour later, he was convinced he was right. He'd faithfully scanned over the map periodically and everyone was exactly where they were supposed to be, including the aurors that were patrolling the grounds and the two that were covering the gate security. He relaxed back in the chair and propped his feet up on James' desk. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

It was twenty minutes later that a moving dot on the map caught his eye. He dropped his feet down and leant forward to inspect the map closer; in fact, there were two moving dots, both leaving the hospital wing. He read the names and felt his stomach clench with anger.

Regulus Black and Graham Nott.

It didn't even take him a minute to make a decision. A quick scan of the map showed no-one else out of place, and the idea of his brother sneaking around with that _bastard_ of a Death Eater wannabe just made his blood boil. In that instant, he'd lost all sense of perspective and he didn't want to do anything except beat some sense into his brainwashed brother; he shot off a patronus to Remus, saying that he'd seen a student out of bounds on the map and was going to round them up and then he tapped his wand on the parchment to clear the map and headed out of the door.

He raced through the deserted corridors to the last place he'd seen the pair; heading down one of the rear staircases. If he had to guess, he'd have said they were heading for the greenhouses; they were the only thing that was in that direction, and the back entrance to the castle that they seemed to be heading for was only really used by students heading for Herbology. But luckily for him, he didn't have to guess. As soon as he reached the spot where he'd seen them on the map, he dropped his wand to the ground and transformed; once he was in his animagus form he easily picked out their scent. Thankful that the castle was deserted so that no-one would question the appearance of a large black dog, he scooped up his wand in his mouth and followed their trail as quickly as possible.

They'd left the school by the rear entrance and had indeed headed towards the greenhouses, but they'd turned off before they got there and were heading down a little used route towards the main gate. Fighting a rising sense of unease, Sirius picked up the pace a little and began to move faster as he strove to catch up with them. His lope covered the ground quickly, and he soon caught sight of the pair of Slytherins, their robes fluttering in the breeze as they approached the ornate gates that guarded the main entrance.

He was about to transform back and confront them when they began to shout loudly for the aurors that were on guard duty. Hearing the voices, both aurors turned their attention on the two students and moved towards them. Sirius was too far away to hear what they were saying, and didn't wish to arouse suspicion by edging closer, but he could see the two boys explaining something, embellishing with a few waves of their arms.

Whatever they had said, it had got the attention of the aurors. The one nearest them turned to face his partner, gesturing towards something in the distance, and his partner swung round to look in the direction that was indicated. As soon as both of them had their backs turned, the two Slytherins struck; each raised their wand and fired a spell directly at the auror nearest them, and both men crumpled to the ground.

Sirius' mind was on fire with pure, unadulterated fury. The rage filled him and propelled him forward before his brain had even begun to process what it had just seen. He could see the two aurors on the ground, one of them bleeding profusely from a cut on his head, and he could see his brother, _his younger brother_, standing over them with Graham Nott. He refused to _stop and think,_ as Moony and Prongs would no doubt have insisted on. He was _tired_ of thinking; it achieved nothing. In those moments all he knew was that his brother would be better off dead than continuing down this path.

He transformed on the run and pulled his wand out from between his clenched teeth, his stride never faltering as he pelted down the path towards the spot where the two boys stood over the fallen aurors.

He threw a spell at Regulus, not caring if was despicable to curse someone without warning or when their back was turned; all that was in his mind was to stop his brother before he pushed himself beyond redemption. He barely even knew what curse he'd hurled until he saw a long cut open on Regulus' cheek. His brother raised a hand to touch the wound and then both boys span around and saw Sirius' approach.

The next few minutes were a blur of activity for Sirius. He threw a stunner at his brother, but it was deflected by Regulus' hastily raised shield charm, and he was forced onto the defensive when Nott aimed a nasty slicing curse at him; the uneven ground was a problem too, as he was forced to pay more attention to where he was putting his feet than he would have liked to while fighting two against one.

He aimed a quick disarming spell at Nott, who had to hit the ground and roll to get out of the way, and he hurriedly twisted his wand to get off a trip jinx at Regulus while Nott was still down. It worked, and Regulus hit the ground, but before Sirius could press his advantage he felt the breath whoosh out of him as Nott hit him directly in the chest with an impediment jinx.

He motioned his wand as he lost his balance and fell, and this time Nott wasn't quick enough to dodge the stunner that flew directly at his head. He fell where he stood, landing just alongside Regulus, who didn't spare him a glance. Instead he kept his eyes on his elder brother, who was rolling back to his feet, as he twisted his wand and spoke two words.

'Petrificus Totalus.'

Sirius felt his body stiffen and he fell back down, unable to move so much as an eyelid. The face of his brother came into view above him, as Regulus crouched over his prone body.

'You told me once that there are some things you can't come back from. And you were right.' Regulus looked away for a minute, then his eyes found his brother's face again, and he looked colder and harder than Sirius had ever seen him before. 'But whatever the consequences of this are…they're mine to deal with now. We aren't family anymore.'

He straightened up and looked off into the distance for a moment; he was still just about in Sirius' eye-line. When he spoke again, he sounded softer, more like the young boy Sirius remembered him as.

'After today is over…you'll probably thank me for petrifying you. You're better off out of it. You can consider it my last act as your brother, since one way or another I doubt we'll be seeing each other again.'

He looked down and made eye contact once more.

'Goodbye Sirius.'

Then he was gone, and Sirius was left frozen on the hard ground, lying there alongside Graham Nott and two aurors he didn't know as his only brother strode off towards the gates.

If he could have seen the map right at that moment, he would have seen a large number of dots leaving the hospital wing; dots representing people who were supposed to be too sick to move. But he didn't have the map, so he couldn't. And that meant that nobody else knew they were coming either.

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James was bored. How some of these ministry officials weren't sick of the sound of their own voices he'd never know, because he'd heard speech after speech and right now he just wanted them all to _stop talking_. He stretched out his legs, trying to be as discrete as he could, but still earning himself a jab in the ribs from Lily, who was trying her best to appear interested and attentive I her role as Head Girl.

It had been just over an hour and a half since the ceremony had begun, and so far everything had gone smoothly. James had had a moment of unease when he'd arrived and realised that he couldn't see Dumbledore anywhere, but Professor McGonagall had informed him in no uncertain terms that while his concerns were appreciated, they were unfounded. Dumbledore had been called to London urgently, but had left her with a fool-proof method of communication that would allow her to summon him at a moment's notice.

He'd relaxed after that, and now found himself close to dropping off from the monotony of the extensive speeches. Feeling a strange tickling sensation between his shoulder blades, he straightened up in his seat and reached a hand up to rub his neck. He looked around as unobtrusively as possible, but still received a glare from Professor McGonagall for his lack of attention. He settled back into his chair and seized Lily's hand, pulling it into his lap so he could trace the lines on her palm. He saw her hide a smile behind her curtain of red hair, and felt an answering grin spread across his face.

It didn't last long though. His face fixed itself into a frown as he noticed creeping tendrils of cloud hazily drifting across the grounds, and dark clouds beginning to crowd into a sky that was slowly turning the colour of a particularly ripe bruise. He wasn't the only one to notice; several of the other seventh years were beginning to look around anxiously, and one or two of the teachers were beginning to stir in their seats. The Minister for International Magical Co-operation stopped mid-speech, partly because he recognised that he had lost his audience and partly because he too was observing the change in the weather with growing trepidation. The sky was darkening rapidly as the clouds blotted out the sun and the air turned chilly in the growing dark.

An eerie quiet was settling over the crowd, and Lily stood up and looked to Professor McGonagall for guidance. She met the older witch's eyes for just a moment before two jets of red light came from nowhere and hit her Professor directly in the chest. She was lifted off her feet and flew backwards into her chair, and witch and furniture tumbled to the ground in an inelegant heap. Professor Flitwick leapt from his seat to help her, and was only just able to duck the burst of purple light that came flying towards him from somewhere to his right. The diminutive man was bristling with rage as he rose to his feet and his wand began to twirl in his hands as he cast protective enchantments at lightning fast speed. At that exact moment the clouds burst and the rain poured down, drenching everything in its path and reducing visibility still further.

Lily let out a small shriek as someone grabbed her hand, then she sighed with relief as she realised it was James encasing her hand in his. He pulled her to the ground beside him then held her head down with one hand as he stuck his head up over the backs of the row of chairs in front of them. He saw hexes being thrown, heard screams and furniture overturning as panicked people ran in all directions and he ducked straight back down and cursed under his breath.

'Well, this is a screw-up of the highest order. I can't see bugger all in this rain.' He clenched his fists and looked back at Lily, his eyes fixed on hers so she could read his frustration in them. 'In the name of Merlin, what was Padfoot doing? He should have been able to warn us.'

'Don't worry about it now James.' Lily whispered, peering at him through tendrils of her soaked hair. 'Do you think McGonagall managed to call Dumbledore?'

James looked at her, his expression managing to appear serious despite the drops of water splattered on his glasses, and shook his head. 'She was taken by surprise. One of the other teachers might have managed to activate it, but I doubt it. I'm going to have to get to her and activate it myself.'

'James…' Lily trailed off, her lips beginning to tremble in the cold. 'Do you think that's a good idea?'

'Right now love, it's all I've got. We have no idea who we're dealing with and they have the advantage. We need Dumbledore.'

'Okay.' Lily nodded quickly. 'Just…be careful okay? Try not to do anything stupid.'

James dropped a brief kiss on her forehead. 'You too. Get out of here. Find some of the others if you can, but just…get yourself out of here okay?'

He stroked the tips of his fingers down her cheekbone just once, then rose up and began to weave in and out of the chaos, keeping his head and shoulders as low as possible. He heard Lily's voice behind him, rising to a shout as she exhorted students to drop to their knees and crawl to present less of a target to their attackers, and from somewhere off to his left he heard Remus' voice rise to a bellow as he relayed Lily's message.

A figure in a black cloak ran across in front of him and stuttered to a stop as they observed him. He aimed his wand and sent a stunner directly to the person's chest, reminding himself that he didn't have time to issue warnings or play nice. The black-cloaked figure dropped to the ground and James hastily stepped over the prone body and continued towards the stage where he'd seen Professor McGonagall fall.

He passed Professor Slughorn with Professor Sprout, the two of them trying to chivvy along a group of terrified students who were almost frozen to the spot with fear. Both of them gave him a nod as he passed, but did not question where he was going or what his purpose was, simply continuing to try and move students along to safety, exhorting them to keep low. No-one dared risk a spell since visibility was so bad and they were significantly more likely to hit an innocent pupil than anyone else.

James was nearly at the stage now; he encountered only a few pupils, and he was quick to encourage them to either lie flat or try to crawl towards the castle. He reached the steps that led up to the platform and let out a low hiss as a shock of pain ran up his hand when he touched them.

'Potter?' Flitwick's voice came quietly from the stage.

'It's me Professor. Could you let me through your enchantments?'

'Come on up.' The Professor usually high-pitched voice sounded odd when he was speaking so quietly. James climbed the steps warily, keeping a low profile.

'Where's Professor McGonagall?' asked James in an urgent whisper.

'Over here.' Flitwick gestured for James to follow him and led him to where the Deputy Headmistress lay on the ground. 'I can't wake her up I'm afraid; two stunners at once was too much for her body to handle. She just needs to sleep.'

A burst of green light hit Flitwick's shields and dispersed. There was a series of gasps from behind James at the point of impact and he spun around to see a large group of students huddled behind the Charms professor, who smiled slightly. 'I've been gathering them up as they come past. I couldn't leave Minerva.'

James nodded slowly then turned his attention to his Transfiguration teacher.

'Let's put a stop to this now shall we?'

He lifted her left hand and placed his fingers on the ring on her middle finger, then gave it three sharp twists in a clockwise direction. There was a moment when he thought it hadn't worked and his brain went into a tailspin of panic as he tried frantically to formulate a plan, but then there was a deafening bang from somewhere behind him and the rain stopped.

He turned on the spot and to his indescribable relief he saw the Headmaster, light blue robes flowing around him, casting unrecognisable spells as he strode across the grounds.

What James would remember later was that it took Dumbledore only minutes to restore order. Moments after he'd arrived the clouds and rain were gone, the black-cloaked figures were gone and people were picking themselves up from the ground, the sounds of crying and hysteria filling the air.

'Everyone will please remain calm.' Dumbledore didn't raise his voice, but nonetheless it carried across the crowd and over the raised voices. 'Please assemble in the Great Hall unless you are injured, in which case please report to Professor Sprout or Flitwick to be escorted to the hospital wing.'

James mentally shook himself, then turned to face the group of students who had taken refuge with Flitwick. 'Anyone hurt?' There was a universal shaking of heads. 'Right, Great Hall then, come on.'

Without waiting for a response he marched in the direction of the castle, and a crocodile line of teenagers formed up behind him.

'You look like a mother duck with her chicks.' Frank fell into step beside him, and James might have laughed at the mental image if he didn't have a knot of stress and worry lodged in his chest.

'Have you seen Lily?'

Frank glanced at him and shook his head. 'She wasn't with you?' James shook his head slowly, and Frank hurried to reassure him, placing a hand on his shoulder as they walked.

'She's probably already in the Great Hall. I heard her shouting instructions a time or two, so maybe she rounded up a few kids and escorted them inside.'

James nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak. They reached the main doors and he waved his line of students through into the hall.

Ten minutes later the House tables were full of pupils grubby from the mud and rain, most of who were talking quietly amongst themselves. James was beginning to worry as he had yet to some across several of the people he was most interested in seeing, and he paced up and down the Great Hall, annoyed that he was prohibited from leaving by Dumbledore.

Professor Sprout hurried in and walked up to the lectern. She sent up a flare of red sparks from her wand and waited for the room to quieten down before she spoke again.

'We've searched the castle and grounds and taken a register, and have found that several students are unaccounted for. I am about to read you a list of names; if you have seen any of these people, please come and stand by Professor Flitwick.'

She indicated the little Charms teacher who was stood off to one side. James fought the rising feeling of dread that was gripping his heart as he slid into a seat at the Gryffindor table between Alice and Peter.

'Dee Abbott. Wazid Patil. Lenora Walters. Charlotte Greenfield. Christopher Boot. Richard Johnson.'

Professor Sprout licked her lips nervously and glanced at the Gryffindor table before she continued.

'Marlene McKinnon. Remus Lupin.'

Alice's head sank into her hands and Frank's arm came round her. Emma and Mary sat unmoving with their hands clasped together on the table. Peter turned in his seat to face James who was unresponsive and motionless, dreading what he just _knew_ was coming next. Professor Sprout's voice was quiet as she spoke the final name on her list.

'And Lily Evans.'

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**A/N:*********Ducks laptops currently being thrown at her head by angry readers***_******  
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**********Sorry. It had to be done. **

**********And that is why this chapter is late. This is essentially part one of two, so I had to decide where to split it (and there were a couple of options) which meant I had to sketch out two whole chapters and write quite a lot more than usual so I could make sure it flows okay. I will try to be quicker with chapter 33; it's already planned out, so hopefully it won't take me long to write it all up and edit it.**

**********I'd love to hear what you think; I've been looking forward to writing these chapters ever since I planned them out weeks ago, but when it actually came to it I found it really hard!**

**********Thanks for reading!**

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	33. Chapter 33 - Fighting

******A/N: I'm so sorry! This has been finished since Tuesday but FF has been refusing to let me upload it to the document manager until today. If it makes you any happier, it is 13,000 words long! And it has been re-drafted three times because I've had to bump a couple of things that I was intending to get into this chapter into the next one instead. So much for my story planning abilities.  
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******Anyway, after all that, I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

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Professor Sprout had stepped away from the lectern and was now standing at one end of the teacher's table with Professor Flitwick. The two of them were talking quietly, taking care to keep their voices low, mindful of the curious ears around them.

The Hall was still oddly quiet, and the low murmur of voices was subdued. James' elbows rested on the table as he supported his head in his hands, his fingers covering his face. The others were silent around him, exchanging worried glances. It was Mary who eventually broke the silence.

'I'll, er, just go up and talk to Sprout and Flitwick. Let them know the last time we saw…' she trailed off and looked at James sympathetically. 'I'll let them know that we were the last ones to see Remus, Marls and Lily. Maybe it'll help.'

With one last concerned glance at James, she slid from her seat and headed for the front of the room. Silence settled back over the group. Alice remained curled into Franks' side, his arms gripping her tightly as her fingers dug in and clung to his jumper. Emma and Peter sat quietly, their eyes idly scanning the room but returning repeatedly to the shattered Head Boy sat between them.

The silence was broken by the sound of a voice quietly calling James' name; for the first time since the list had been read, James responded to the sound of his name being spoken. He lifted his head slightly and lowered his hands to the table, his face no longer hidden behind calloused knuckles.

'Mr Potter!' His name was called again, and James looked up to see Dumbledore walking towards him. The old wizard looked calm and serene as he approached the table, still clad in the same blue robes he had been wearing earlier, but his face appeared significantly more fatigued than usual, and he seemed to walk more slowly than he normally would.

He came to a halt just alongside James' seat at the Gryffindor table and addressed James in a quiet voice, though not so quietly that the others sat around him could not hear.

'I thought you would wish to know that Mr Black is currently in the hospital wing; he is uninjured, and he should be joining you shortly. I believe that Madame Pomfrey will be discharging him from her care very soon, since he is being extremely vocal about insisting that he doesn't need medical attention. I suspect he may have an interesting story to tell you, though I cannot say for sure since he declined to discuss the events of this afternoon with me in any detail.'

James let out a brief sigh of relief; concern for Sirius had temporarily taken a back seat to his more pressing worries for Lily, Remus and Marlene, but he had been both troubled and confused when his best friend had neither been on the list of the missing or in the Great Hall with the others. He knew that Sirius had obviously been accounted for since he was not listed as missing; he was in the castle somewhere, James just didn't know exactly _where_. He had been confined to the Great Hall by Dumbledore and so had been unable to go looking for Sirius, but his friend was safe and that was good enough for him; his concerns had been reserved mainly for the people that the staff had not been able to locate so far.

Still, hearing the news that he was not only okay but would be joining them soon pulled James out of the despondency he had sunk into since the list had been read out. He was hoping that Sirius could shed some light on the events of the afternoon, that was true, but mostly he just wanted to see his best friend and have him there with him while they tried to fix this horrendous mess.

A thought that had been nagging at the back of his mind for some time leapt to the forefront of his thinking, and he found himself blurting a question at his Headmaster.

'Professor, exactly how many people are in the Hospital wing?' James asked.

'We were very lucky. Perhaps a dozen people are currently being treated.' The Headmaster spoke in sombre tones, and he seemed unusually withdrawn, his eyes showing none of their usual good humour; the attack on his school had apparently been a heavy blow to the old wizard, but James was in no mood to be sympathetic and tactful.

'The reason I ask Professor, is that by my best guess, there are about thirty-five students who should be in here, but are absent somehow.' James spoke in a firm tone of voice and kept eye contact with his Headmaster. 'If there are a dozen people in the infirmary, and nine on the missing list…' His voice broke very slightly on the word "missing", but he steadied himself and continued. 'Then where are the other dozen or so people?'

Dumbledore held his gaze for a long moment, and James stared back at him resolutely, refusing to flinch away from the Headmaster's penetrating contemplation; he wanted to hear an answer to his question. His brain had felt like it was operating through a haze ever since he'd heard the names of the people who were unaccounted for, but now it felt like it was fully functional again, like he was thinking clearly and he wanted answers, real answers, not the half-truths teachers fed to gullible children. There was something here that didn't add up, and looking at Dumbledore's face he knew that the old wizard was aware of something James wasn't. He wasn't a child and he wouldn't be treated like one, so he kept his unwavering gaze fixed determinedly on the Headmaster's eyes. His Professor regarded him for a moment longer, his expression shrewd and then he inclined his head towards the nearest door and moved towards it, and James was quick to follow. Once the door was shut firmly behind them and they were alone, the older man turned to face James, his expression unreadable.

'You are correct Mr Potter. There are an additional thirteen students unaccounted for that do not appear on the list of missing, because we believe that they left the grounds of their own accord.'

James sucked in a sharp breath and waited to see if the Professor would offer up any further information. Dumbledore hesitated, obviously unsure whether he should supply a more involved answer but something in James' expression must have convinced him because he continued, his eyes still fixed on James' face.

'It appears that the illness afflicting several students over the last few days was in fact a deliberate attempt to absent themselves from the ceremony as a way of circumventing the security measures. They intentionally gave themselves symptoms that would require hospitalisation, then at some point during the ceremony they gave themselves an anti-dote, stunned Madame Pomfrey and left the hospital wing.' The Headmaster sighed and moved his gaze away from James, staring out of the window and across the grounds. 'I am sorry to say that we believe these students were responsible for the attack on the ceremony that you witnessed this afternoon, and that they have chosen to leave the school for reasons of their own.'

James allowed himself a moment to absorb what had been said, then his logical brain automatically began to work, sifting through the information he'd been given and looking for anything that would help him locate his missing friends. He didn't allow his mind to linger on thoughts of red hair or green eyes or vanilla-tinged skin. He didn't think of Remus' voice or Marlene's laughter. Call it a defence mechanism, but he simply wouldn't allow himself to focus on those things; instead his analytical mind whirred through all the facts he had, organising them into a coherent summary. He spoke the first question that leaped to mind.

'Do you think they took the people that are missing with them? I mean, if Lily…' he swallowed sharply and gave himself a second to steady his voice. 'If Lily and the others were still on the grounds they'd have been found by now, and there's no way _they _would have run off of their own accord.'

Dumbledore faltered for a moment before answering. 'I'm afraid I do. It's a common saying in the muggle world that the simplest solution is often the correct one, and that supposition is certainly the most likely, I think.'

James hissed a breath out. He'd been expecting the answer, but that didn't make it easier to hear. 'Were they working on someone's orders, or was this something they did themselves?'

Again, Dumbledore's response was quiet and hesitant. 'I cannot say for sure, but I think that there can be no doubts about where their allegiance lies. Either is possible, but I consider it more probable that they were acting on their own, and that this plan was an attempt to…draw notice, shall we say?'

James nodded slowly. He hoped that was true. Lily, Remus and Marly were smart, capable people; they stood a good chance if they had been taken by a bunch of Hogwarts students desperate for recruitment into the inner circle of Death Eaters. But if they had been taken on the orders of a senior Death Eater, or worse by Voldemort himself…James refused to entertain the idea.

He was disturbed from his thoughts by his Headmaster placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'The aurors will be out looking for them soon James. The anti-disapparition jinx was put into effect over a large area as soon as the ceremony began, and they cannot make portkeys. Even if they were using brooms, they could not have gone far. They will be found.'

James nodded along mutely, and when Dumbledore opened the door to the Great Hall that they had come through, he stepped back through without a word and headed back to his seat at Gryffindor table.

No-one approached the grim looking Head Boy as he crossed the room; one look at his face would have made anybody realise that he was in no mood to be trifled with. He slid onto the bench next to Frank, who was now holding a blank-faced Alice on his lap. Her cheeks were marked with the tracks left by her drying tears, and her eyes were devoid of expression. Frank's whispered words seemed to be falling on deaf ears, as she neither replied nor gave any indication that she had even heard. Emma and Mary sat opposite, Peter alongside them. They were talking quietly, but there was no animation, no life to their conversation. They were simply passing the time, waiting for news. No-one asked James what Dumbledore had spoken to him about; his expression made them wary of pushing him on the matter, and he didn't volunteer anything.

The minutes ticked by and the Great Hall remained quiet. Groups sat talking, some people practised spells and a few were even attempting games, but the room didn't have that sense of bustle that would usually accompany the number of students crowded together in it. So when the main door opened a fraction, almost everyone heard it, and many eyes swivelled to observe it.

Sirius slipped in quietly, his footsteps noiseless and his body language subdued. He scanned the room quickly, his eyes stopping on James and the others, and he directed his feet towards them. He slid into the seat on the other side of James, and the words that had been working their way up James' throat died in his mouth when he saw his best mate's face. He closed his mouth and observed him for a moment, then slid closer to him.

'What happened Padfoot?'

Sirius eyes jerked up from their contemplation of his hands to settle on James' face, and the agony on his face was almost painful to see. The rest of the group turned their attention to Sirius as he opened his mouth, then closed it again. He scrubbed a hand over his face in an attempt to calm himself before he opened his mouth again.

'Reg.' Sirius' voice was croaky, and it broke on the single word. He paused and took several deep breaths before beginning to speak again, his voice staying subdued and low, but picking up in strength.

He told James about seeing Regulus and Nott on the map, and how he had sent a message to Remus before following them. He was aware that the others were listening, but he aimed his words directly at James as he explained that he had seen the two of them attack the aurors, and how he had lost his head and duelled them both. He spoke in a calm, steady voice as he described eventually being petrified by his younger brother, and falling to the ground next to the unconscious Nott, and he repeated the words his brother had spoken to him as he lay on the ground.

Emma reached her hand across the table to place it soothingly on top of Sirius', and he found himself clutching it as he described being discovered by Mad-Eye Moody, who had arrived to check on his aurors and had stumbled across them all. He had taken all four of them to the hospital wing, allowing no arguments on the matter. It was only once the counter curse had been applied and he'd been unfrozen and thoroughly checked over by Madame Pomfrey that he'd been told that there had been an attack at the ceremony and that some people were still missing.

'They wouldn't tell me who was missing; they kept saying that they didn't have the list up there, so I badgered them to let me leave so I could come down here. I met Flitwick on the way down, and he showed me the names.'

He looked around the table at the teary-eyed group then turned his face back to James; his eyes were swamped in misery as he spoke again.

'This is my fault. If I hadn't gone rushing off, if I'd stayed and watched the sodding map…'

'It's not your fault mate.' Peter interrupted him. 'Even if you'd managed to get a warning to us, I'm not sure things would have gone that differently.'

Sirius looked unconvinced, but he let the matter drop. Silence fell between the group, and James anxiously twirled his wand between the fingers of one hand as he considered his options.

'Dumbledore agrees that it's most likely that they were abducted.' James' voice was quiet, and no-one could fail to notice that he was deliberately not referring to any of the missing by name. 'The people who were in the hospital wing with poisoning weren't really sick; they stunned Madame Pomfrey and left, and now none of them are accounted for. Dumbledore thinks that they were the ones who attacked the ceremony, and that they've dragged the missing people off with them.'

James stopped for a moment to draw a shuddering breath and saw the looks on his friend's faces as they tried to absorb what he'd told them.

'He's not sure.' He continued in a low voice. 'There's no proof. But it's the most likely explanation, and it does make sense.'

The silence returned, settling over them as they all tried to process the events of the day, which felt like they were speeding past and carrying them along before they had opportunity to draw breath.

'What I'm wondering is…' began Frank, his voice carefully low. Everyone's eyes turned to him, and he continued to speak in a quiet voice. 'I'm wondering where they could have taken them. They can't have got far.'

James gave a faint smile. 'That's exactly what Dumbledore said. They can't apparate and they can't portkey. So it's brooms or on foot. Either way, they have to be somewhere pretty close.'

'So maybe we should go find them.' Frank's voice was calm, but determined and his words got everyone's attention. He leaned forward, and kept talking.

'No-one's paying any attention to us; we can grab a few friends and sneak out of here easily. There's no telling how long it's going to take the aurors to re-group and go after them, and isn't this what we've been doing all year? Fixing what they do?'

Mary shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 'This is a bit more than breaking up some fights and keeping an eye on the troublemakers Frank. We have no idea what they're up to, or what they might do. We don't even know where they've gone.'

'Hogsmeade I reckon.' Sirius' voice was still subdued, but his tone was firm. 'Why would two of them attack the aurors at the gate? They weren't anywhere near the ceremony. I reckon they were opening up a route off the grounds; all the protective enchantments were lifted from the gate for today, so it would have been the easiest way out.'

James rapped the table with his knuckles as a thought occurred to him. 'That makes sense! The Slytherin's who were involved got themselves admitted to the hospital too early!'

His outburst was met by confused looks from everybody else, and he hurried to explain himself. 'None of them were at the final prefect's meeting, they were all sick already. They weren't there when I explained that the anti-disapparition jinx would be extended to cover a wider area once the award ceremony started as an additional security measure. They probably thought that they'd be able to go straight out of that gate down to the village and then apparate straight out of Hogsmeade. Their whole plan is based on incomplete information, they could well be stuck in Hogsmeade right now!'

'I say we go.' Frank spoke in a low voice.

'I agree.' Peter spoke up, leaning across the table. 'It's going to take ages for the aurors to get their act together; they have to worry about procedures and all that. We don't.'

'But how are we supposed to get to Hogsmeade?' asked Emma quietly. 'I'm sure they'll be watching all the exits.'

The three Marauders shared a look.

'Not all of them.' Said Sirius, grinning for the first time since he'd arrived in the Hall.

'Right, I need to speak to a few people and round up a few recruits. We can't take too many people or it'll be too hard to sneak out.' James rushed the words, and the rest of the group leaned closer to listen.

'Give me five minutes, then cause a distraction over there Wormtail.' James pointed discreetly in the direction of the teacher's table. 'Make it good.'

He smiled at his short friend, who grinned wickedly and withdrew his wand from his pocket.

'When Pete causes chaos, I'll meet you all at the corner door nearest Gryffindor tower.'

They nodded their agreement, and James rose from his seat and wandered casually over to the Hufflepuff table.

'This is bloody insane.' Said Mary bluntly.

'Yeah.' Said Alice, lifting herself off Frank's lap and re-arranging her clothes. 'But we're good at insane.'

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'Rennervate.'

Lily groaned and forced her eyes open. Wherever she was, there wasn't a huge amount of light but it was still painful on her sore eyes, stabbing its way into her brain. She squinted for a moment in an attempt to let her eyes adjust, and then she became aware of someone crouching down next to her.

She rolled to one side and tried to stand, but she wobbled as she regained her footing, and a pair of arms shot out to balance her as she toppled over. Bracing one arm against the stone wall for support she turned her head to catch sight of her saviour; she could have wept with relief when she saw Marlene's baby-blue eyes looking at her.

'What the hell happened?' Lily had barely got the question out before Marly had pressed a hand over her mouth and gestured for her to sit back down. She slid down the wall until she was sat on the floor, her back resting against the cold stone wall while she patted down her pockets in what she knew was the forlorn hope that she might find her wand.

Marlene dropped down and sat cross-legged in front of her. 'Do you remember everything going to hell at the awards ceremony?' she asked, keeping her voice low.

Lily thought for just a moment before her mind was flooded with images of pouring rain, furniture overturning and black-cloaked figures aiming curses. She nodded in response to Marlene's question and saw the blonde girl bite her lip thoughtfully before she continued to speak.

'Well, it seems they decided it would be a good idea to grab a few of us. I don't know if that was their plan, or if we're hostages or what, but from what I saw they grabbed half a dozen people or so – me and you included – and ran. You were out cold, and you have a fantastic bruise on your cheek so I'm guessing one of them went for the muggle method of knocking you out.'

Lily reached a hand up to touch her left cheekbone and winced as the pain flooded through her head at the slightest pressure on her skin.

'I wouldn't prod at it too much, might be broken. I would have tried to heal it, but I thought I'd be better off waking you up. I'm not too good at healing and I didn't want to make it worse. You can have a go with my wand if you like.'

Marlene waved her hazel and thestral hair wand at Lily, who took it carefully. 'How do you have your wand?'

Marlene snorted. 'Because Mulciber is an idiot. The attack had barely started when someone hit me with an incarcerous jinx; I hadn't even have time to draw my wand. Someone in a black robe patted me down and checked my pockets; he obviously assumed I'd already lost my wand because he picked me up and ran without realising that I had it stuck down my sock.'

Lily hadn't moved from her position against the wall, she simply sat and looked at Marly's wand. 'And it was _Mulciber_?'

'Yeah.' Marlene settled herself down next to Lily and leant back against the wall. 'His hood slipped off as he was running. We're somewhere in Hogsmeade I'm pretty sure. I think they've Imperiused somebody into letting them use their house, and we're in the cellar.'

Lily raised Marlene's wand and hesitantly pointed it at her own head; she was good at charms, and normally this kind of healing spell should have been easy, but using someone else's wand was always tricky. She should have had James teach her how to do it wandlessly. For a brief second she wished he was here to do it for her, but it was a fleeting thought; she was_ glad_ he wasn't here, caught up in all this. She just prayed that he was back at Hogwarts, safe and unhurt. Anything else was unthinkable, so she wouldn't think it.

She wasn't sure if her cheekbone was broken or not, so she cast a general healing charm and was relieved to feel the pain subside. She handed the wand back to Marly with a muttered thank you. They sat there in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts until Lily spoke again.

'You said they grabbed half a dozen or so people?' She twisted her head to look at Marlene, who nodded. 'What happened to the others?'

Marlene sighed. 'I'm not sure. I was slung over Mulciber's shoulder so I couldn't see much, but I think they split up at some point. Their plan has gone a bit wrong.'

Lily raised an eyebrow questioningly, and Marlene slid a little closer, lowering her voice still further. 'They ran a long way - all the way to Hogsmeade without stopping I think - then Mulciber tried to disapparate with me, and he couldn't. It's the jinx; Dumbledore extended it to cover Hogsmeade remember? They had an argument then, and then someone else – I think it was Avery – shouted for everyone to get inside and they threw us down here.'

'How long have we been here?' asked Lily, rubbing her temples tiredly.

'Maybe half an hour at most? It took me a while to wriggle out of my bonds and get my hands on my wand to wake you up. I've been trying to eavesdrop as much as I could; they're still arguing, and sometimes it gets loud enough to overhear.'

'What are they arguing about?

'They're trying to decide what to do. They were expecting to be able to disapparate from here and now they need a new plan. They're hoping that the aurors will be slow to realise people are gone, and then they'll have to take a register, and organise a search party, and they won't know where to start looking.'

The two girls lapsed back into silence for a moment as they considered their situation. They were disturbed from their thoughts by raised voices from the room above them.

'Where the bloody hell is Nott?'

Lily caught Marlene's eye and nodded. That was definitely Avery's voice.

'He got stunned and I couldn't wake him up, so I left him.'

This voice was much quieter and harder to hear and the two girls had to strain to catch it. It sounded strangely familiar, but Lily couldn't quite place it; Marlene looked similarly confused.

'You left him there?' Avery's voice sounded even angrier.

'Well he couldn't levitate him all the way could he? If Nott's idiotic enough to let himself get stunned, leave him to it.'

'That's Corbin.' Whispered Marlene.

Lily's head jerked up. 'Corbin? Augustus Corbin? The one who…'

'Attacked Alice, yeah.' Marlene finished for her. 'I'm sure it was him. It's not a voice you forget.'

'Fine, whatever. Now we're one person down you morons!' Avery's voice again. 'Corbin, go and find Mulciber. You, go and check on that pair downstairs. I'm going to check on the other prisoners, and I'll take you with me Regulus, since you apparently can't be trusted on your own.'

Lily gasped and Marlene paled. That's why the voice had sounded familiar but they'd been unable to identify it; it sounded like Sirius' voice, but not quite so deep, the tones not quite so rich. Lily desperately hoped that Sirius was unaware of his brother's involvement in this.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps near the door. Marlene pushed her down and lay next to her, hissing in her ear to keep still. The door swung open and a black-shrouded figure stomped in; Lily kept her eyes shut and her breathing even, but it was hard to lie there and play possum. She was just beginning to wonder what Marlene was planning when she felt a sudden movement alongside her and the whoosh of a spell rushing past her face. There was a grunt, then a dull thud and Lily felt a change in the air behind her as Marlene moved.

Opening her eyes she could see the figure slumped on the floor, knocked cold by the force of Marlene's spell. The blonde was knelt beside him, pushing his hood back to reveal his face.

'Ravensby.' She said in disgust. 'His parents knew mine. Dad always said they were a bunch of prats, but I didn't realise they were that bad.' She dug around in his robes until she found a wand which she tossed to Lily. 'Two witches, two wands. Could be worse.'

Lily twirled it between her fingers. Pearwood and unicorn hair. It wasn't _her _wand, but it didn't feel too unfriendly in her hand either, and it was certainly better than nothing. She stood up and tucked it into her pocket, rearranging her clothes and searching for a band to tie her hair back. When she finally tried to move, she felt some stiffness in her joints but it eased as she moved painfully around the small space.

Marlene had been busy magically binding up Ravensby, and as she finished she too pulled a tie from her pocket and smoothed her hair into a neat pony.

'Right. Now what?'

Lily hesitated. 'The sensible thing to do would be to get back to Hogwarts and let the aurors know that this lot are in Hogsmeade, but in the time it would take us to do that, they might have gone again.'

Marlene nodded. 'That would be the most sensible thing to do.' She gave Lily a devious look. 'But I reckon we should think about what a _Marauder _would do.'

Lily felt a smile begin to form on her lips. 'They'd go sneaking round Hogsmeade trying to find out where everybody is and getting into even more trouble.'

An answering grin spread across Marlene's face. 'Sounds about right to me. What do you reckon?'

'I reckon our boyfriends are a bad influence on us. You disillusion me and I'll do you. Then we'll see if we can find ourselves some trouble.'

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'Are you sure this is the best secret passageway for this? Maybe we should have taken the one behind the one-eyed witch…'

'For the hundredth time, yes I'm sure!' James snapped at Sirius. 'I know it's not the most direct, but it's the easiest one to get out of unseen at Hogsmeade okay? I'm not a moron, I do have reasons.'

'Er...guys you're blocking the passage.' Mary pointed out timidly, and Sirius and James temporarily ceased their glaring at each other as they noted the bemused stares on the faces around them.

James ran an aggravated hand through his hair. 'Sorry everyone. We're just a little stressed.'

Alice gave his shoulder a reassuring pat, and James turned to face the little group clustered round him.

'We're not far away now, only five minutes' walk probably. It's quite a narrow exit, but it's tucked away in the woods so it's not likely anyone will see us. I suggest we split up into smaller groups; not only will we cover more ground, we'll be harder to spot.'

There were nods of agreement all round, and for the next two minutes there was a surprising amount of bustle in the narrow passageway as they divided themselves into groups, but they were finally organised and moving forward.

'Right then. This is the exit. Everyone knows which direction they're going in?' James turned to face the cluster of people behind him and saw a chorus of answering nods and a lot of worried faces. He heaved out a breath and carried on speaking. 'This is probably going to be weird for most us. We aren't looking for a fight; we just want to find our friends. But the people who took them _might_ be looking for a fight, and they're people we all know. Don't assume that if you see a familiar face, it's a friend. In fact, it might be worth transfiguring your appearance or using a disillusionment spell to make you harder to notice. It's up to you.'

He turned to Sirius and nodded, and with a quick swish of his wand, Sirius moved the stone that covered the exit before slipping out. James followed him and looked back at the others.

'Good luck guys.'

Then he followed Sirius out into the woods and towards the village.

'Is it me, or is it really quiet?' Sirius asked after a few minutes or cautious walking.

'It's really quiet. Maybe a lot of people went up to the ceremony?' James replied.

'Don't know. I'd just be more comfortable if it was a bit busier down here; much easier to sneak around when there are crowds of people about to blend in with.' Sirius slowed his pace as they approached the edge of the village, and he and James both crouched down as they assessed the street.

'Use the cloak? Since it's so quiet we should both be able to get under it and move around without bumping into anyone.' James spoke under his breath, mindful of every sound.

'Good a plan as any.' Sirius shrugged, and James pulled the invisibility cloak out from his cloak pocket and threw it over the both of them.

'Lead the way.' Sirius gestured James forward with one hand and drew his wand with the other. Noticing James' querying look he shrugged his shoulders. 'Never hurts to be prepared.'

James muttered something under his breath that Sirius couldn't quite catch, but he drew his wand nonetheless, holding it low in one hand as he supported the cloak with the other.

They moved slowly out into the streets of Hogsmeade, careful not to scuff their feet or step in any puddles; the smallest sound or sign of movement could give them away. James briefly wondered what tactics the others were taking to remain concealed, and he really hoped that they weren't borrowing trouble, given that they were already off school grounds on some kind of unauthorised rescue mission that was bound to land them in detention for the rest of their school lives.

Sirius' elbow to his stomach interrupted his thoughts, and he only just suppressed the instinctive groan of pain that wanted to break out. He glowered at his best friend, who gestured towards a building off to their right. Turning his head and squinting, James saw what Sirius' sharper eyes had already spotted; a black-cloaked figure in the window of a pretty red-brick house with window-boxes full of white flowers.

'If you'd asked me to take a guess at where Death Eater Central would be, I would not have gone for that.' Sirius whispered in his ear.

James hesitated only briefly, weighing his options before making his mind up. 'Get a bit closer?' he asked Sirius, who nodded his agreement. They shuffled gently forward, even more conscious of every small sound they made as they moved, every rustle of fabric or scrape of shoe on the street. They reached the window and stood still, straining their ears to catch the low hum of conversation from inside.

'…Avery said we should stay here and watch these two. Mulciber is trying to get hold of Rosier or someone to dig us out of this mess. All we need to do is sit here.' The black robed figure was facing away from them, talking to someone they couldn't see and waving an arm for emphasis.

'Just two of them, do you reckon?' James breathed the words, trying to be as silent as possible.

Sirius shrugged. 'I might be able to find out, if you're open to me being a little reckless.'

James looked at him. 'How reckless?'

'No more so than normal.'

James observed his best mate's attempt at an innocent expression. Sirius was unpredictable at the best of times, but at this point there was only so much more trouble he could get them into. He nodded his agreement and Sirius handed his wand to James, who was so astonished he took it without question. Sirius stepped slightly back from James and changed into his animagus form, ducking out from under the cover of the cloak and heading for the house.

James had to admit it was clever; a dog wandering around Hogsmeade would draw little to no attention since no-one was aware there were illegal animagi running around Hogwarts once a month. In his animagus form people would simply assume he was a pet or a stray and he wouldn't attract suspicion.

James watched him trot up to the house and sniff around in the garden, looking for all the world like your average dog, then he made his way to the front door and nudged at it with his nose. When it didn't open, he reached a large paw up and pulled on the door handle and to James' surprise the door swung open. What kind of morons didn't put locking charms on the door when they were in hiding? He saw Sirius disappear into the house, then come loping back out a moment later, the door slamming shut behind him. He trotted his way back to James, who took a few steps back so he was out of view of any of the windows.

He lifted the edge of the cloak to allow Padfoot to sneak under, then there was a blur of air and Sirius was stood under the cloak with him.

'Well that was an interesting tactic.' James sounded amused despite himself; it was so typically Sirius to take the direct approach.

'Just the two of them.' Answered Sirius absently. 'Wilton and someone I don't know. Whoever they are watching is locked up in the kitchen.'

He looked at James and raised a questioning eyebrow.

'Worth the risk.' decided James, handing Sirius his wand back and lifting his a little higher. 'Under the cloak till we get to the door, then you go for the one on the right, I'll take the left.'

Sirius nodded his agreement, and the two of them began to creep back in the direction of the front door. Sirius reached out a hand and slowly pushed the door handle down, testing to see if it would respond or not; they couldn't be sure if locking charms wold have been added since Sirius' incursion. James took in his disbelieving expression and nodded, and Sirius took the hint and pushed the door wide open, the two of them rushing straight into the room beyond with no thought for stealth anymore.

The two figures in the room jumped at the sudden noise and aimed their wands towards the door, but the two Marauders were far quicker and their spells hit the black-robed wizards before they had time to begin an incantation. They hit the floor with identical heavy thumps, and Sirius turned to shut the door and add locking charms at the exact same time as James began to move around the room to jerk all the curtains closed.

This was one of the advantages James had been banking on when he'd countenanced this risky idea; everyone he'd recruited to come knew each other pretty well, and they knew how to work together seamlessly and without argument. There was no better example of that than him and Sirius; they just knew each other and they co-operated effortlessly.

Sirius then began to gag and bind the two boys lying on the floor, and James went to investigate the kitchen. He pulled the door open gingerly, aware that it was possible that Sirius had been wrong about the number of people in the house. The brightly decorated kitchen was empty of black-robed wizards, but it did contain Wazid Patil and Lenora Walters, both tied to chairs and blindfolded and gagged.

James moved over to Lenora, a fifth year Ravenclaw that he knew played beater for the Quidditch team. He pulled her blindfold off and spoke urgently, keeping his voice low as his fingers worked to remove her gag.

'Make sure you keep your voice down Lenora, I don't know if there's anybody nearby.' The gag fell off into his hands and the dark-haired girl began to cough a little. James turned to Wazid and repeated the same treatment on him. The two of them appeared relatively unharmed, though Lenora's knee looked a little swollen and there was a nasty cut on Wazid's forearm. Nothing that couldn't wait until they got back to Hogwarts.

'Do you know how many people were watching you? Was it always the same two?' James needed information before he decided on their next move, and he questioned them as he continued to remove the bonds tying them to the chairs.

'I think it was just the two of them.' It was Lenora who answered, her voice rough. 'I don't know them, but they called each other Wilton and Hanby. They've been with us the whole time and I haven't heard anyone else.'

'Okay, thanks Lenora.' James jerked his head up and raised his wand defensively when the door opened, but it was Sirius levitating the two bodies into the kitchen. He nodded at his best mate and carried on untying Lenora and Wazid while Sirius bound their unconscious captors to the spare chairs.

'Have you two got wands?' Sirius asked in a low voice as he finished his spellwork.

Wazid shook his head and continued to rub his wrists in an attempt to restore the circulation that the ropes had cut off. 'They took them. No idea where they went.'

'You'll have to make do with these then.' Sirius pulled the two wands he'd taken from the unconscious boys out of his pocket and threw them to Wazid. 'They should do to get you back to school anyway.'

James tried to keep his voice neutral as he asked his next question. 'Have you seen or heard anyone else?'

They both shook their heads and then Lenora spoke again. 'I overheard one of those two say that they'd been told to split up, find a house and hide; Imperius the owner into letting them use it if necessary. If there are others in Hogsmeade, I bet they've done the same.'

James nodded slowly, his mind working fast as he tried to decide on their next approach. Realising that Sirius was giving him a concerned look, he pulled himself together and addressed the pair. 'We're going to tell you how to get to a secret passage that'll get you back to Hogwarts okay?'

They both looked a little sceptical, but nodded in agreement, their faces turning anxious when James walked towards them holding his wand out.

'Don't worry, I'm going to transfigure your appearance a bit; hopefully that'll be enough to stop anyone identifying you.' He wove intricate patterns with his wand, changing their hair and faces until they were unrecognisable then stepped back to admire his handiwork.

A few minutes later, Wazid and Lenora were nervously leaving the house, clutching their borrowed wands and trying their very best to appear inconspicuous as they headed off towards the forest and the secret passage Sirius had described for them. From under the cloak, Sirius and James watched them go.

'What now? If Lenora is right, they'll be holed up in several different places and we can't search every damn house.' Sirius sounded a little distant as he spoke, and James knew that he was trying to think of a plan. 'Come on, _think_, there must be something, a tracking spell or whatever we could use to trace them. We can't just wander round looking, it'll take forever.'

'I'm_ thinking_ Padfoot, it's not like I don't want to find them! Just…give me a minute to rack my brains would you? I'm trying to think of the rune work we did on the map, but Moony did most of the theory for that…'

James' rambling monologue was cut off by the sound of an explosion from about three streets away. He and Sirius were both flung to the ground by the force of the blast, and they had to scramble to cover themselves with the cloak once more.

Heads rattled and ears ringing, they pushed themselves to their feet and stood still for a moment, watching the column of smoke rising over Hogsmeade.

'What the bloody hell?' James turned to face Sirius, who was already shoving his way out from under the cloak and breaking into a run. 'Padfoot! Sirius!'

'Come _on_ James!' Sirius shouted back as he sped up his pace. 'It looks like the time for stealth is over!'

James snatched the cloak off and took off after Sirius, wand out and ready as they ran towards the rising smoke.

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The nearby explosion threw Lily back against the wall of the alleyway she and Marlene were crouched in. She hissed as she felt the back of her head collide with a dustbin. Much more of this abuse of her skull and she wasn't sure her brain would ever recover. She sat upright and looked up at the sky which was rapidly filling with thick dark smoke. 'What the bloody hell?'

She glanced across at Marlene, who was lying still where she'd been slammed into the wall, clutching at her right shoulder. Lily crawled towards her. 'There went our disillusionment charms. How bad is your arm?'

Marlene gritted her teeth against the pain. 'Bad.'

Coming from a seasoned Quidditch player, that was worrying. They tended to ignore minor injuries and pains, so if Marly said it hurt, it was serious. Lily probed gentle fingers around the joint and got several more hisses of pain and a few muffled swear words as well.

'Dislocated, I think.' She sat back on her heels and looked at Marly. 'I can try and fix it, but I can't make any guarantees with this wand.'

Marlene winced, but nodded her agreement. Lily glanced round them nervously. 'Let's move a bit further back into this alley; we won't be so visible then, and its less likely people will hear any noise you make as I heal you.'

'So what you actually mean is: this is really going to hurt and you'd like it if my screams weren't too loud.'

Lily grimaced. 'I wish I could say that wasn't true, but unfortunately it is.'

She helped Marlene to her feet and the two girls moved painfully towards the far end of the alley, the smoke still swirling round them from the explosion. The flickering orange light in the sky suggested that at least one building nearby had caught fire in the blast.

Marlene braced herself against the wall, and Lily stood in front of her and took out her stolen wand. 'I could silencio you.' She suggested, but Marly shook her head.

'Just get it over with quick.'

Lily had waved her wand almost before Marly had finished speaking, hoping that she could be quick and reduce the pain of the healing. She saw the limb jerk back into line and saw Marly's face pale at the agony; but the blonde clenched her teeth and held back any cries. She didn't feel the need to restrain the continuous flow of muttered swear words pouring out of her mouth though, and Lily felt herself beginning to laugh for the first time in what felt like forever at her friend's incredibly foul mouth. Her giggles were cut short by the sound of her name being hissed in a low male voice.

'Lily? Lily is that you?'

She turned a circle on the spot, looking for the source of the noise, and as the throbbing pain in her shoulder decreased Marlene stopped her cursing to strain her ears.

'Remus?' asked Lily uncertainly.

'It's me. Look down.' Lily glanced down towards her feet and saw a grating set low into the wall in front of her, obviously leading to a cellar below the building. Behind the bars she could see Remus' pale face looking out at her. She dropped to her knees to talk to him and was aware of Marly coming up alongside her.

'Is it just you in there?' asked Lily, grabbing one of the bars and testing its strength.

'No.' Remus replied. 'Dee Abbott and Chris Boot are in here too.' He gestured behind him, but Lily couldn't see anyone else in the dark of the cellar.

'I'm assuming they took your wands?' asked Marlene, crouching alongside Lily.

Remus nodded. 'No idea what they did with them.'

'How many of you are in there?' Marlene asked urgently.

'There were three, but I think they all ran out when they heard the explosion. What was that by the way?'

'No idea.' Lily turned to look at Marlene. 'I think we're probably past stealth at this point, don't you?'

'Agreed. Step back from the wall Remus.' Marly raised her wand and pointed it at the grating, Lily mimicking her actions. With a flick of their wands the two girls sent a blasting curse at the grating and blew a hole the size of a car in the wall.

Lily knelt to help Remus, Dee and Chris out of the hole they'd made, while Marly positioned herself at the end of the alleyway to see if they had attracted anyone's attention with their explosion; hopefully everyone was still preoccupied with the earlier blast and the fires that had apparently resulted.

Dee stood and angrily brushed herself off. 'I've bloody well had enough of all this crap! Somebody give me a wand and somebody to aim a curse at!'

Lily couldn't help the laugh that escaped, but she sobered up at the angry glare Dee sent her. 'Sorry. I just completely understand how you feel. We'll try and find you a wand, and well, maybe you'll get lucky on the cursing front too.'

Marlene was peering round the corner of the alley. She looked back and gestured for the others to come. The five of them moved quietly out of the alley and into the street, the lingering smoke offering them a small amount of cover as they kept themselves pressed close to the side of the building. 'Do we keep looking, or do we try and get back to school?' Marlene whispered in Lily's ear.

'I don't know.' The frustration was clear in Lily's tone. 'We don't even know if there _are_ any others; you thought you saw about half a dozen people being grabbed and there are five of us here. This could be everyone.'

'Back to Hogwarts then?' Marlene kept her voice low as they began to move a little quicker.

'Yeah I think so…wait, stop.' The group came to a halt alongside a doorway. 'I'm just going to sneak in and see if I can see your wands anywhere; if it was me I'd have snapped them, but these blokes don't seem exactly sharp.' She slid through the door and came out a few moments later triumphantly waving three wands. 'These yours?'

Their eyes lit up at the sight of their wands and she passed them out, feeling a brief pang of loss for her willow and unicorn hair wand as he did so. She may have had a wand in her hand, but it wasn't _her _wand and that made all the difference; she'd find hers if she could.

The small group edged their way along the street with a great deal more confidence now that all five of them had wands. They reached the end of the street, and Lily recognised the road they were about to turn on to as the street that ran alongside Honeyduke's, which meant that the main road was just a short distance ahead of them. She wasn't sure if heading out somewhere so exposed was a good idea and was considering their options when Remus moved up alongside her and spoke in a low voice.

'There's a passage to Hogwarts in Honeyduke's cellar. Might be easiest.' Lily nodded and waved Remus into the lead. If anyone could think of a way of getting them into that cellar unseen, it was Remus.

They hadn't gone more than a few steps when they heard a shout from somewhere ahead that chilled them all.

'Frank!' the voice almost screamed. 'Frank!'

They exchanged panicked glances before breaking into a run, heading for the sound of Alice's terrified voice.

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Frank's body was a dead weight, and Alice couldn't drag him any further. She collapsed down behind the low wall, Julia crouched right next to her feeling for a pulse in Frank's neck.

'Frank! Frank!' Alice was shaking him, screaming at him, just hoping for a response; he'd been conscious until just a moment ago, and she couldn't fight down the rising panic at the sight of him out cold on the pavement.

'He's alive. Lost a lot of blood, but he's ok. We need to get him back to Hogwarts.' Julia coughed harshly; the after-effects of being caught in the explosion were lingering unpleasantly. 'Alice, do you hear me? He's going to be alright, but only if we can get him out of here!'

'Okay. Okay.' Alice took deep breaths and shook her head, trying to rid herself of the painful ringing in her ears.

They'd been moving quietly and cautiously through Hogsmeade when they'd walked round a corner straight into a duel; Corbin, Mulciber and Avery had been in the street directly in front of them with Rosier and Wilkes, and all five were quicker off the mark than she would have believed possible. The three of them had darted into an alleyway, ducking a curse aimed at them by Corbin that had rebounded onto the building they were hiding behind and had shattered all the windows and caught it on fire, as well as causing a wall behind them to collapse. Frank had been caught in the rubble, and it had taken a huge effort from the two girls to hold off the Death Eaters long enough to help him dig himself out and support him as they moved to a safer spot.

Now they were effectively pinned down in their current position and they needed some kind of plan to get themselves out of here; they were in no shape to consider looking for any of the missing people any more.

Julia poked her head out from behind the wall, and fell backwards again. 'Bloody hell, it's like Beirut out there.' Noting Alice's confused look, she shrugged. 'Muggle city. Never mind. Anyway, it's like a mass duel out there, some of the others must be around. Maybe we can attract their attention.'

Both girls let out a shriek as somebody vaulted over the wall and landed beside them; Julia was aiming her wand instinctively, and only just managed to stop herself from firing off a jinx when she recognised the distinctive dark hair of Sirius.

'Ladies.' He rolled to his feet and nodded to them as greeting and taking in the sight of them huddled on the ground next to Frank's unconscious figure. 'What did you do to Frank?'

Alice's face went from relief to repulsion very quickly. 'That was Corbin. Blasting curse of some kind and Frank got caught in the crossfire.'

'Is that what caused the explosion? James and I wondered. Anyway ladies, I'm here to help.'

'Sirius?' His head turned in Julia's direction at the sound of her voice. 'What the bloody blithering hell is going on out there?'

He grinned. 'I've always liked you, you know.'

He stuck his head over the wall briefly to get a quick update on the situation, then hunkered back down and began to speak rapidly.

'Okay, James and I found Wazid and Lenora and packed them back off to Hogwarts. Then we heard the explosion and came this way; seems we weren't the only people with the same idea, because we bumped into a nice little group of Death Eaters. It was looking dodgy until Greg and Steve turned up, but between the four of us we managed.'

A spell hit the wall and a few stray bricks fell towards them; Alice and Sirius both aimed hexes over the wall and were rewarded with grunts that suggested they'd felled someone nearby. They ducked back down and Sirius continued. 'Greg and Steve have gone back to Hogwarts to get the aurors; we're hoping that Wazid and Lenora will already have made it back and raised the alarm, but we didn't want to bank on it. James and I heard you yelling and came this way, bumped into Pete, Mary and Ken and strolled into your little fight.'

'So what are we doing?' asked Alice.

'Staying put for a minute. Too many Death Eaters and no clear route out are making James nervous. He's got everyone getting themselves somewhere defensible and we've either got to sit tight till someone gets here or fight enough of them off to allow us to get out.' Sirius aimed his wand at the wall and deftly cut a small slit, big enough to see through and direct spells through, but small enough to be a difficult target to hit with any accuracy.

'Anyone for a bit of target practice?'

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Lily and Remus, with Marlene, Dee and Chris following close behind, had run into a scene of complete devastation. The rubble from a partially destroyed building was spread across the street, the afternoon air was full of smoke and dust and there were several fires throwing heat and flickering light everywhere. Figures ran in all directions, distorted by the murk hanging in the air, and they could hear shouts and see the flashing lights of hexes being thrown.

They were stunned to a standstill for a moment, taking in the scene before them. Then Remus stepped forward just in time to throw up a shield and intercept a flash of purple light heading straight for Dee. Chris threw a hex of his own back, and there was a muffled grunt as it found its mark.

Then several black-robed figures came out of the gloom towards them and they were fighting. Lily ducked a curse then fired off a retaliatory stunner before spinning around to throw a shield charm up over Chris. It was destroyed by one well-placed blast, and Lily was forced to take a step back to regain her balance; she bumped up against Remus who was duelling with a tall Death Eater, and as she knocked into him she hurled an impediment jinx at his opponent. The Death Eater went down and was promptly stunned by Remus and then the two of them stood back to back as they fought and ducked and dodged.

Time was a blur as they moved, hexing and side-stepping but then it slowed down to a crawl as those dreadful words were shouted and a jet of green light flew towards Chris and hit his shoulder before anyone could intervene. He seemed to stay upright for a moment, immobile, then his body fell to the concrete. Everything slowed for a moment as Chris crumpled, then they were fighting again, more fiercely, the hexes coming harder and faster until Lily found herself separated from the others and fighting alone with a slight figure in the standard hooded robe, blocked from view of the others by a high garden fence.

The fury bubbled in her veins; Chris was almost certainly dead, Alice had been screaming, her face hurt like hell, someone had taken her wand and this figure in front of her was responsible. Maybe not directly, but they were part of the problem. She channelled her anger, using it to fuel her jinxes and it didn't matter that she wasn't using her own wand because her fury overcame her handicap and eventually her opponent stumbled back and his hood fell down to reveal the black hair and hooked nose of Severus Snape.

She wished she could say she was shocked at the sight of her childhood friend, but she wasn't; she was saddened. She knew he was going down this path, she just didn't think she'd ever be confronted with the evidence of it this baldly.

'I don't want to fight you Lily.' His voice was low and a little shaky.

'Why not Severus? I'm a mudblood remember? You should be thrilled at the chance to kill me. Or are you going to try and pretend that you haven't signed up for that?' She held her wand, unwavering in front of her as she spoke.

'You're different. You've always been different.' His voice took on a distinct pleading tone. 'I've spoken to the Dark Lord about you; he'd make an exception for you. You could join us and you'd be protected from all this and…'

'You disgust me.' She cut across his words. 'You think I'd leap at an opportunity to protect myself and turn a blind eye to the atrocities you'd commit? Tell me Severus, when have I ever given you the impression that I'm that kind of person?'

'Lily, you don't understand, you're not thinking about this clearly. Potter and his lot are going to get you killed, and it will be pointless because _they're going to lose!_ I'm just looking out for you, like I always have. Look, even today.' He pulled something from his pocket and held it up for her to see. _Her wand_. 'I knew I had to get you away from Potter and thinking straight again, so I made sure I took you and not anyone else today so I'd get a chance to show you what I mean. I'm sorry I had to hit you, but I kept your wand safe so you can have it back…'

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Her lip curled in a snarl she didn't even know she was capable of producing, and then she was cursing him and he was hexing her back, and it was _vicious. _They hurled insults as well as jinxes, and if they got close enough they threw punches as well, each of them venting their fury but they were so evenly matched that neither could gain the upper hand.

Until Lily got hold of her wand.

She would have sworn she felt the power sing up her arm as her fingers closed over it, then she was throwing a stunner, then a slicing curse and she couldn't even say what she hurled at him next because her brain wasn't involved in this process any more, it was sheer uncontrolled rage and instinct and magical power and it was pouring out of her as she pushed him back towards the main fight which was still raging in the street behind them.

He was on the defensive now, trying to find a gap in her attacks to respond but being unable to do much more than block her spells. She might have continued her unmitigated assault on him if she hadn't heard a familiar voice call her name.

'Lily!'

She responded to the sound of his voice automatically, her eyes scanning for messy dark hair and bright hazel eyes even as she continued to block any spells coming towards her. She had abandoned any offensive spells now, focusing purely on keeping herself safe while she searched for him. Then she saw him,on the far side of the street with Peter and Kenneth, and his eyes were scouring the street and she came to a complete halt and held her wand out in front of her, waiting for Snape's inevitable attack.

It didn't come. Instead he backed away, holding his wand defensively in front of him, and it was only at that point that she realised how many wounds she'd inflicted, how much he was bruised and bloodied. He held her eyes, a look of shock lingering in his as he moved warily backwards until he could turn and dart into an alley and get away from her.

She didn't realise she was shaking until she looked at her wand held in front of her and she almost dropped it when she saw the splatters of blood over her wand and arm. Then she thought of dark hair and glasses and she turned and ran for him.

'James!'

She saw his head jerk in her direction, saw Remus standing to his right and across the street she could see Sirius helping Alice support Frank, and Dee and Peter and Marlene were all there somewhere but that was all irrelevant as she aimed herself at him and hit him full force in the chest. His arms came round her and his face buried itself in her hair, and she could have wept with relief. He didn't even attempt to prise her off him, he simply lifted her off her feet and backed them both up behind a wall and out of sight of the majority of the street.

It was a minute or two before she relinquished her hold long enough to ask a question. 'What the hell are you doing here?'

He grinned down at her, his face washed with relief. 'Coming after you. Like I always will.'

She buried her face in his chest and they stayed there for a moment, ignoring the sounds and smells of the fighting, until they were startled by a deafening crack and the sound of an inhuman voice echoing through the streets.

'Well, isn't this interesting? Mudbloods and blood traitors galore.'

The very sound of the words sent a shiver down her spine, and Lily raised her eyes to meet James'. 'Please tell me that's not…'

'I think it probably is.' James looked appalled. 'Where are those sodding aurors?'

'The aurors are coming?' Lily couldn't help the hope that crept into her voice.

'They bloody well should be, I've sent a ton of messages up to Hogwarts.' James released her from his arms and pulled her by the hand towards the entrance to the alleyway.

Voldemort stood in the centre of the street, his inhuman face twisted in a sneer as he took in the scene surrounding him. His black-robed death eaters stood behind him in a loose group. They were hidden from the Death Eaters, but James and Lily could see their friends hidden in various places, tucked into doorways or crouched behind walls as they tried not to expose themselves to an attack from the darkest wizard of all time.

'Sirius Black, I know you are here somewhere.' That strangely high-pitched voice continued. 'It is not too late to join your brother on the true path.'

Lily groaned. She had really hoped that Sirius was still unaware of how deeply his brother was entrenched in the Death Eaters since she knew how irrational he could be when it came to that; she was bracing herself for the inevitable fight when Sirius lost his temper, but there was no response to Voldemort's goading.

'No? A shame.' Voldemort's voice continued, his tone almost disinterested. 'A shame that pure-blood families do not understand what is expected of them anymore. Like you, Longbottom, McKinnon, Abbott and Fortesque!'

Another moment of silence where no-one answered, and James' hand tightened on Lily's. He knew what was coming.

'And what about you James Potter? I hear excellent things about your skills, and your bloodline is unblemished.' He paused and waited, but James - though he squeezed Lily's hand tighter - chose to follow the example of the others and remain silent.

'Really Potter, you should give this some due consideration. I will even allow you to keep your Mudblood, if you desire her so much.'

James' fist clenched around his wand and he was unable to keep silent any longer. 'Go fuck yourself you deranged egomaniac!'

Voldemort's high-pitched laughter echoed around the street. 'It seems you have a weakness Potter. But perhaps you should let the Mudblood speak; she may wish to advise you to consider my generous offer. It will not be repeated.'

Lily did not answer, and she clamped her hand over James' mouth to prevent him from doing so.

'Well, Mudblood?' Voldemort's voice was mocking now, finding a malicious enjoyment in drawing out these moments of terror and uncertainty. Lily's face set in a mask of anger as she thought of Chris, and Snape, and Regulus, and Marlene's parents and all those students who'd been cursed or abused because of his lust for power.

She opened her mouth and James' eyes widened as he realised she was going to answer.

'Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on.'

Her words echoed even louder than Voldemort's had, and perhaps it was simply the shock of hearing a lowly mudblood daring to speak such words to him, but Voldemort seemed to take a moment to recover.

'Find them and kill them all!' he hissed, and Lily's hand gripped her wand more firmly and her other hand found James' and tangled their fingers tightly together.

They stood together, wands raised, waiting, but then there was the familiar crack of apparition and a calm voice spoke.

'I see that being foolhardy is not limited to teenagers.'

Dumbledore. James closed his eyes and offered up a brief but fervent prayer of thanks to any deity that might be listening, and Lily gripped his hand tighter, her relief washing through her. The two of them both peeked out around the wall again in an attempt to see what was going on.

'You. You dare confront me?' Voldemort's voice was cold and hard now, with none of the mocking tones it had previously contained.

'It was a mistake for you to come here Tom. The aurors are coming.'

'I do not fear them, and I do not fear you, old man.' The words were sneered out. There was a moment when the tension hung in the air, and then the duel began.

A wall of flame leapt from Voldemort's wand and flew towards Dumbledore, who calmly conjured a rippling wall of force between them which rebounded the curse towards the group of Death Eaters, who fell over themselves to get out of the way.

The duel was the fastest any of them had ever seen; curses flew and ricocheted, rubble was transfigured and the air shimmered with the power being thrown around. James was just wondering whether he ought to start trying to get everyone out of Hogsmeade, and if he could do so without the Death Eaters intervening when there were several loud cracks and a number of newcomers ran out into the duel; he recognised Moody and at least two other elite aurors, and he heaved a sigh of relief.

Voldemort was startled by the sudden appearance of the dark wizard catchers, and his momentary hesitation allowed Dumbledore to land a curse on him; the force of it carried him into a nearby wall, but he had barely hit the cobbled pavement before he was up and hissing his fury. He raised his wand and for a moment James really thought he was going to take on all the aurors and Dumbledore at once, but then he apparated away, his Death Eaters following his example immediately.

Dumbledore lowered his wand and turned to speak to Moody in a low voice. Then he straightened up and spoke in a quiet voice that could nonetheless be heard in every corner of the street.

'You will all please come out. The danger is passed.'

There was a peculiar mix of noises then as the strange collection of Hogwarts students left their assorted hiding places. James kept his grip on Lily's hand as the two of them walked out of their alleyway, each trying to pretend they couldn't feel the other shaking.

Sirius limped out from behind a wall, supporting the weight of an unconscious Frank, Julia and Alice following behind, the latter with blood streaming from her shoulder. Dee, Remus and Marlene came from somewhere to their left, all three of them seemingly unscathed.

Lily scanned the street for others, her eyes finding Peter and Mary struggling to help an injured Kenneth over the piles of rubble, then she froze as she caught sight of Chris' body still lying on the cold ground where he had fallen. She had almost forgotten in the terror of the last few minutes and seeing his body now brought it all crashing back down on her.

She'd seen Chris die.

Snape was a Death Eater.

She'd told the most evil wizard in existence to fuck off.

She felt James' arm tighten around her waist as her legs wobbled, and she could hear his voice speaking to her, sounding as shaky as she felt, but she couldn't make out the words. They continued to pick their way across the street towards Dumbledore, their eyes on the ground as they tried to avoid stumbling on any of the debris littering the street. They had just reached their Headmaster and the small knot of people that had surrounded him when Lily caught sight of Ben Jones moving towards them slowly, the pale, limp body of Emma clutched in his arms.

Dumbledore turned towards him, moving faster than Lily would have thought possible for the old man. He spoke to Ben briefly, his hands gently lifting Emma's arm as he listened to the boy's strained speech. His eyes were sad and his face lined with sorrow as he transfigured a lump of rubble into a bier and gestured for Ben to place Emma upon it.

Everyone had stopped walking, frozen in place. Dumbledore had just transfigured a second pedestal and Moody was moving the body of Christopher Boot onto it. He looked at both of them sadly and turned back to face the small group of his students that had gathered.

'I'm afraid they are both gone.'

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**********A/N: Thanks for reading, and for your patience in waiting for this chapter if you are following! Let me know what you think - liked it? Hated it? Wanted Lily to murder Snape? I'm all ears. **

**********Worst thing about writing prequel type stories? You already know that most of my main characters will survive all this, so it's hard to rachet up the tension. **

**********By the way, I've been writing a Jily one-shot this week as well; it's currently being edited, so will be posted this weekend if any of you are interested in reading it.**

**********I still love you all, even if you hate me for the delay with this chapter.**


	34. Chapter 34 - Aftermath

******A/N: Look at that, an update when I said there would be one! For once I have very little babbling to do so I'll be brief. I just wanted to let you guys know that the next update may be delayed because my dad got taken into hospital yesterday; nothing too serious, but still. **

******As always, I'll try to post updates on Tumblr, so if you guys want to follow me on there (scared-of-clouds) I'll try and keep you posted with what's happening with the next chapter.  
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******Love you all, and thank you for reading!**

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Lily tightened her grip round James' neck and curled up smaller on his lap. The carriage wasn't really big enough for five, but it hadn't seemed right to leave someone behind to wait for another one, and to be honest neither her or James had any intention of letting go of each other for a while so they were happily sharing a seat. Julia was squished in next to them, and Remus and Marlene sat opposite. No-one said anything. Right at that moment, there wasn't anything to be said; they all knew that the bodies of Chris and Emma lay still and cold in the carriage that was following along behind them.

The past couple of hours had been hard for all of them. They had tended to the injured as best they could out in the field, and the carriages had been summoned by Dumbledore to take the students back to the school, with the most severely injured taking priority and going first. Frank and Kenneth had gone up in the first carriage along with Alice and Sirius, and then Dee, Ben, Mary and Peter had followed in the next.

The final five of them had stayed for a little while longer to answer Moody's questions and relay the events of the afternoon, while asking plenty of questions of their own. They told Moody everything they knew or suspected, and he was surprisingly willing to reciprocate with information of his own.

Apparently Steven and Gregory had both made it back to Hogwarts without difficulty, and had in fact scooped up Lenora and Wazid along the way. Their dishevelled and unceremonious entrance into the Great Hall had caused uproar, and it had taken some time before they could convince everyone to calm down and listen to them.

Once the story had been relayed to Dumbledore, he had immediately summoned Moody and asked for a crack team of aurors to make their way to Hogsmeade, then he himself had apparated directly there and into the middle of the fight.

As they had relayed their various versions of events to Moody and Dumbledore, the Head Auror had dispatched people to round up the Death Eaters that they had incapacitated during the course of things; Ravensby was found still out cold in the cellar of the house where Marlene and Lily had been held, and Wilton and Hanby were both still bound to the kitchen chairs where James and Sirius had left them. Two or three others were discovered unconscious or injured in the streets where the fighting had taken place; Avery, Mulciber, Snape and Corbin were not among them, much to the disgust of James in particular.

Two of the missing students were still unaccounted for and were being searched for by the aurors; Moody held out hope that Charlotte Greenfield and Richard Johnson would be discovered somewhere in Hogsmeade, since it seemed improbable that the Death Eaters had thought to take them with them after fleeing from the confrontation between Dumbledore and Voldemort. While Moody seemed happy to have grabbed half a dozen apparent Death Eaters in one fell swoop, everyone acknowledged that it had come with a heavy loss, and no-one wanted to see Charlotte and Richard added to the casualty list as well.

Lily felt numb whenever she thought about Emma. She'd liked Chris; they'd shared classes and had always been friendly and she was so sorry he was gone, but Emma had been her roommate for _six years_. They'd talked about boys, laughed over first kisses, tried out hair and make-up tricks together and God only knew what secrets they'd shared. And she was gone because of this stupid war, because some people were so determined to force their agenda on the rest of society that they were willing to kill for it. The fact that Snape had been involved just added to the conflicting emotions swirling round her brain. She'd known what he was turning into; she wasn't naïve, she'd recognised the dogma he spouted, the vitriol he treated certain people with. They weren't friends anymore and she'd come to terms with that a long time ago, but a small part of her still mourned the loss of the boy she'd once known; the boy who didn't exist anymore, replaced by a masked Death Eater with nothing in him but hate and rage.

She imagined Sirius was probably the only one who could empathise with her at the moment; the only one who knew what it was like to watch someone you cared about - someone you thought you knew - be turned inside out by hate until there was nothing left between you but animosity, no remaining trace of the relationship that had once existed. Her brain simply couldn't make sense of all the thoughts and emotions, couldn't process what she'd been through today, so she sat there on James' lap, numb to everything but the feel of his warmth and smell of his skin. Right then, he was the only real thing in the world, the only thing that was solid and normal that she could cling to.

James' arms tightened round her as he felt the shivers running through her. He could recognise a body going into shock when he saw one - to be honest, he was pretty close to it himself and he hadn't been through half as much as she had today – and he wanted to make sure she stayed warm and comforted. She responded to his slight movement by snuggling her head into the crook of his shoulder and James couldn't help but smile faintly at the feel of her warm breath on his neck.

He raised a hand to her head, cradling it against him as he gently stroked her hair, trying to offer her some reassurance. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Remus watching them, his arm around Marlene's shoulders as she leaned into his side, and he offered the sandy blonde a half-shrug. He felt a tentative touch on his arm and turned his head in Julia's direction; she was holding out her jacket and he took it and wrapped it around Lily's shoulders gently. He turned and gave Julia a weak smile, and she offered him the same in return and leaned against his arm. They travelled the road to Hogwarts like that, the five of them in silence, with the carriage they didn't want to think about trailing behind.

They were climbing out of the carriage when they saw Ben, Peter and Mary standing near the main entrance, talking quietly to one of the aurors that had been in Hogsmeade. James had recognised him, Lily remembered, had called him Caelum. They made their way over to them, and Caelum turned to face them, his expression sombre.

'I've just had a message from Moody.' He spoke quietly. 'He thought you ought to know that they found the last two. Johnson isn't too badly hurt – dislocated knee and a busted nose - but Greenfield wasn't so lucky. She's dead. Killing curse.'

Lily couldn't quite take that in. Her mind had been overloaded today, and it just flat-out refused to process any more information. She felt James' arm tighten around her shoulder, heard his voice speaking to her but it was like listening through water; the words seemed distant and unintelligible.

Caelum was speaking again now, gesturing towards the castle and Lily allowed herself to be led towards the large oak doors that were once again standing open as they normally would be.

But nothing was normal anymore.

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By late evening, Madame Pomfrey had discharged the vast majority of people from the hospital wing; even if she had wanted to keep everybody in, there were too many injuries to allow everyone to be held under medical observation. Frank had been kept in and Alice had stayed with him; she would probably had to stay anyway, since she was receiving Blood Replenishing Potion, but it was also quite obvious that separating her from him would require more effort than anyone was willing to expend. Richard Johnson had also been kept in, not just for the treatment of his physical injuries but because of the fact that he had spent several hours being kept prisoner in a room that also contained the body of a close friend.

She'd wanted to keep Sirius too, but he'd voiced his complaints about that extremely loudly – 'Merlin's sake woman, it's a scratch! Go and fuss over Frank, he's unconscious so he won't be bothered if you smother him.' – and in the end she'd accepted that it was better all round, and certainly for her state of mind, to let him do as he pleased.

This led to most of them eventually finding their way to Lily and James' common room; no-one really wanted to go back to their houses and face the questions of their peers, and there seemed to be an unspoken agreement in the room that everyone here was aware of what had happened, and it didn't need to be discussed yet. Quite simply none of them were _ready _to discuss it yet, but they all recognised that when they were they would seek each other out. They were the only ones who understood after all.

So they'd spent their evening together, a dozen or so teenagers trying to come to terms with what they'd seen and done. They'd been quiet and subdued, and there'd been tears from almost all of them at some point, but there was also an overwhelming sense of relief in the room; relief that they'd made it through the worst day any of them could remember. They hadn't come through it unscathed, and the thought that they'd lost friends was a knife to the heart, but they - this dozen or so ordinary people sat talking in a room - had faced the worst and survived.

As the night drew closer they began to leave in ones and twos. Nobody mentioned curfews; James and Lily were in no mood to be officious about the rules, and they were pretty confident that the Professors would be turning a blind eye this evening. Eventually only Sirius, Marlene and Mary remained with Lily and James.

'I don't want to go back to the dorm.' Mary spoke suddenly. 'There used to be five people in that room, and tonight they'll only be two. And that's assuming that you're coming with me rather than staying with Sirius, Marls.'

'I hadn't thought about it.' Marly's voice was rough with unshed tears. 'I haven't thought about anything at all for a few hours now.' Sirius' hand ran gently up and down her arm.

'You should stay with Mary.' He said quietly. 'I think you two would be better off together tonight. I'm far too much of a prat to be able to make you feel better.'

She leaned into him. 'Mary's right though. The thought of going back to the dorm and seeing the empty beds…'

Lily cleared her throat. 'Stay here.' The other four looked at her. 'You guys can share my bed, I'll sleep in with James.'

James was glad to hear it; after the events of today he'd privately decided that he was never letting Lily out of his sight again. Well, not on her own anyway. And he'd carry the map at all times too, so even if she was with someone else he could keep an eye on her. After they left Hogwarts he'd work something else out; another set of mirrors or something. Anything.

He recognised somewhere in his subconscious that he was being ridiculous, that if nothing else the events of today had proven that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but he wasn't yet ready to come to terms with the idea that he wouldn't be able to keep her by his side always. She wouldn't allow him to restrict her, and he wouldn't really want to limit her like that. She deserved to live her life free of such confines; after all, wasn't that what this stupid war was about? Believing her to be an absolute equal - his equal - in every way.

Sirius left soon afterwards and Lily took Marlene and Mary up to her room. Alone in the common room for a few moments, James allowed his thoughts to drift to the envelope he'd received from Lily's mother that was sitting in the top drawer of his desk upstairs. He'd found it in his trunk the first day back at Hogwarts; he'd told himself when he'd opened it that they had all the time in the world for that, but after today he was thinking that maybe, maybe they didn't have as much time as he thought.

He lay next to her in bed later that night, his eyes tracing the outline of her face where it rested on his pillows. He admired the slight curl of her eyelashes and the way her hair spread across the pillows. He counted her freckles, memorised every curve and plane of her face and inhaled her scent with every breath. He stroked his thumb over the fading bruise on her cheek – Madame Pomfrey hadn't been able to remove it entirely, but she had dealt with the swelling and now it looked almost a week old, the purple colour faded to yellow.

'Stop staring at me while I'm sleeping.'

Her voice was sleepy and rough, but his face automatically broke into a smile at hearing her speak. He moved his thumb from her cheek to her temple then traced the arch of her eyebrow with his fingertips. 'But you're so pretty.'

'And I'm sleeping.'

'And earlier today I thought that I might never get to see you again, so I'm a little unwilling to look away right now.'

Her eyelids popped open, and his hazel eyes immediately sought out her green ones. Her hand reached out to him and rested on his cheek.

'You came after me.' She spoke softly, and he hesitated slightly before he answered, unsure as to where she was going with this.

'I did.'

'It was an incredibly stupid thing to do James.' She wriggled towards him and kissed gently across his forehead, one side to the other before pulling back to look at him. 'But thank you.'

He lifted his hand to her face again. 'Are you okay?'

She offered him a sad smile. 'Not even close to being okay.'

She moved closer to him until she could bury her face in his chest, curling her fingers into the soft cotton material of his pyjama shirt. 'But being with you makes me feel like I will be.'

He hesitated, wondering whether he should shut up now, but it was in his nature to push a little. So he spoke quietly and gently. 'Tell me about it?'

She stiffened in his hold for a moment and he ran soothing strokes of his hand over her back and neck until she relaxed again. They lay in silence for a few moments, and then Lily opened her mouth and began to tell him everything, from waking up in the cellar, to finding Remus and duelling Snape, evrything that happened right up until she had found him.

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Breakfast was a subdued affair the next day. The deaths of the three students had been announced to the school, and the war had taken on a sudden urgency within the walls of Hogwarts. Even with the strange goings-on of this year, the school had still felt very untouched by the conflict, but now it had been brought home by the events of the previous twenty-four hours.

The people who had been involved had grouped together at their tables, unwilling to face the questions and whispers from the rest of the student body. Some students – mostly the younger ones – whispered excitedly about what had happened, the importance of it lost on them. Others kept quiet, unwilling to allow themselves to think about what this meant for them and their futures.

Lily and James were some of the last people down for breakfast, by James' deliberate design. They'd been awake until the early hours of the morning as she talked herself hoarse about what had happened, and he'd kept them in bed for as long as she would allow to make up for it. And if he was honest, he wasn't keen on being subjected to stares and whispers, and he was even less keen on Lily being prodded at by other students; he didn't for one second think that she wouldn't be able to handle it, he just didn't see why she should be put through that when she didn't have to be.

He certainly wasn't the only one who wanted to avoid unnecessary contact with others, judging by the other latecomers in the room; looking around the nearly empty hall he could see Greg, Ben, Dee and Lenora. He acknowledged them all with brief nods before sitting down next to Lily at the emptier end of the Gryffindor table. He filled a plate with toast and eggs and placed it in front of her, then poured her a glass of juice. She smiled at him as he served her breakfast, the sweetness and simplicity of the gesture lifting her spirits slightly.

They'd not been sat down for more than fifteen minutes when Professor Slughorn came to find them. He looked haggard; the shock of what had happened had obviously affected him greatly, and the knowledge that members of his house were the ones responsible couldn't have sat well with him. He nodded to James and placed a gentle hand on Lily's shoulder as he enquired after her well-being. She offered him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, grateful for his concern but unable to answer honestly.

Slughorn seemed to realise that Lily wasn't quite up to really speaking to anyone yet, and he gave her another sympathetic smile before explaining that the pair of them were excused from all classes for the day, and that the Headmaster would like to see them in his office in thirty minutes. James thanked him, and he offered another weak smile and a half-hearted pat of James' shoulder as he left them.

They finished their breakfast, though neither of them had actually eaten much, and left the Great Hall together, their hands clasped as they made their way to Dumbledore's office. They arrived outside and were surprised to find Remus, Julia and Sirius also standing in the corridor; they had also been asked by various professors to come to Dumbledore's office. Shrugging at his Headmaster's slightly eccentric ways, James gave the password and the five of them went up the spiral staircase and knocked on the door.

'Come in.' Dumbledore's voice, as quiet and calm as it always was, bade them enter.

Lily went in first and froze as she saw Nott sat on a chair by the fireplace, Moody standing directly next to him, wand out threateningly. The Headmaster gestured for her to take a seat, and she noticed that the large blue armchairs that were usually there for her and James had been replaced with a long bench to seat five.

She sat down, James on one side of her and Sirius on the other. It was surprising how comforting that was, to be flanked by the two of them. How secure you could feel when you were sandwiched between two people who genuinely cared for you.

Dumbledore began to speak, his elbows resting on his desk as he addressed the small group now assembled.

'Everyone here is very much aware of the events of yesterday; we do however still have a number of unanswered questions, which we will be putting to Mr Nott while he is under the influence of veritaserum. I should say that none of what he says will be admissible in court, so this is purely to satisfy our own curiosity. I have asked you to be here because I believe that each of you will have something to contribute to the questioning. Alastor, if you would.'

He gestured to Moody, who pulled a flask from his pocket and flicked the stopper out. With a practised hand, he tilted Nott's head back and poured the clear liquid down his throat, pinching his nose to make sure he swallowed. He held Nott's chin in a vice like grip and glared at him.

'What's your name?'

'Graham Nott.' Nott glared at him as the words tripped off his tongue before he had any chance to consider it.

'What house are you in?'

'Slytherin.'

'And where do your loyalties lie boy?'

He ground his teeth together as he tried to avoid answering, but the words came out anyway. 'To the Dark Lord.'

Moody stepped back and gave a nod. 'You should be able to get some answers Albus.'

'Thank you Alastor. Mr Nott, what was the purpose of your actions yesterday? What were you hoping to achieve?'

The veins were beginning to stand out on Nott's head as he fought the compulsion to answer.

'We were to attack and cause as much damage and confusion as possible before taking people of interest to the Dark Lord.'

'Take them where?'

'To Hogsmeade where we thought we would be able to apparate directly to the Rosier Mansion.'

Dumbledore had stood now and was walking towards the struggling boy, who was still being held down in his seat by Moody.

'Whose orders were you following? Were you specifically instructed to abduct certain people?'

'No!' Nott spat the word. 'We were to take whoever we thought the Dark Lord would be interested in. Rosier told us we would need to step up our game and do something extraordinary if we wanted to be fully inducted into the inner circle.'

'I see. So your intent was to attract attention to yourselves and in some way prove yourselves to Voldemort?'

'Yes.' Nott ground out, his eyes alight with fury as he glared at Dumbledore. The old wizard ignored him entirely and turned to face the five students who were watching the process.

'Mr Lupin, Miss Huxley, would you please explain to Mr Nott and Mr Moody the conclusions you came to earlier this year about the strange occurrences here at Hogwarts?'

Remus looked round and cleared his throat. 'Er, of course Professor.'

He began to explain the conclusion he and Julia had drawn about the events of the academic year so far; that the strange and vicious attacks were intended both to increase the possibility of recruiting Death Eaters from the student body through fear while simultaneously terrorising those considered unworthy. Julia took over then and explained further that they felt the incidents were designed to upset parents to the point where they would either remove their children from the school – thereby removing them from the protection of Dumbledore – or they would call for him to be sacked, handing control of the school to someone who would be unable to keep Death Eaters in check.

They finished by outlining their suspicions that the unflattering articles in the Daily Prophet, both those about Hogwarts and about Dumbledore personally, were somehow part of the attempt to discredit him and remove him as an obstacle to Death Eater control of the school.

By the time they'd finished talking, Moody looked impressed and Nott looked pale.

'Were you and your friends involved in these incidents Nott?' Moody growled the question.

'Yes.' Nott answered limply, most of the fight having gone out of him now.

'And are these two correct in their assumptions about your motivations?' Dumbledore asked, almost pleasantly.

'Yes. We were told to find a way to remove you from the school; Avery and Snape came up with a plan that allowed us to undermine you as Headmaster while also spreading the message of pure-blood superiority.'

Moody straightened up and turned to face Dumbledore who seemed incredibly calm at these revelations. Lily had stiffened at the mention of Snape's name, and all four of her friends seemed aware of the change in her posture.

Dumbledore's chuckle took them all by surprise. 'Largely as we suspected. Are we ready then Alastor?'

'Yes Albus.' Moody fired off a patronus and pulled Nott up by his ear. 'I'll just drop this one off, and I'll be back shortly. Keep the damn floo open would you? I've no intention of climbing all those bloody stairs.'

Dumbledore pointed his wand at his fireplace and green flames sprang up. Moody stepped in, dragging Nott after him. 'Half an hour Albus!' he growled, and then they were both gone.

'Well'. Said Dumbledore stepping back behind his desk. 'I'm afraid now we must simply wait.'

'Wait for what Professor?' asked James, his confusion obvious on his face.

'For more illumination on the subject at hand.'

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They'd been sat on the bench twiddling their thumbs and talking quietly for twenty minutes when the fireplace flared green again and Moody stepped out, holding a tall, thin man who looked extremely confused by the arm. Behind him came Caelum, who had a firm grip on an irate looking woman with dark curly hair who was shouting loudly.

'Get your great paws off of me, I don't know what you think you're doing but you will not get away with this!'

'Oh hush up woman.' Moody growled, twisting to look at her. 'You'll get your chance to talk.'

Dumbledore rose from his chair and stepped towards the newcomers. 'Allow me the pleasure of the introductions: Mr Potter, Miss Evans, Mr Black, Mr Lupin and Miss Huxley, some of my best students; this is Augustine Saxon, editor of the Daily Prophet, and this is Matilda Meeking, one of the writers for the paper. I'm sure you're familiar with her work.'

All five of them were a little shocked at that, and Lily's lip curled into a sneer and James' face hardened as he looked at the woman who continued to glare defiantly around the room.

'I don't know what you're playing at, bursting into our offices and dragging out completely innocent people, but I can assure you that the Minister will hear about this!' Her shouting was curtailed by Dumbledore's quiet voice.

'Minister McLaird will certainly be hearing all about this, I can assure you. Alastor, would you care to do the honours?'

'Actually I think this one is best left for you Albus. More your forte than mine.' Moody had his wand trained on Matilda, his free hand still gripping the sleeve of Augustus Saxon who had yet to say a word, or indeed do anything beyond stare vacantly.

'Very well.' Dumbledore approached Matilda and peered at her closely. He raised his wand and pointed it directly at her, his eyes narrowed slightly as he focused his attention on her. Then he gave two quick flicks of his wand and to the shock of all five of them, Matilda Meeking's face began to change.

Her hair straightened and began to grow until it was a mane of black lustrous locks that reached almost to her hips. Her lips became plumper and fuller, and her nose and forehead began to move as if the very bones were changing. Only a minute had gone by, but the beautiful woman standing in front of them was unrecognisable as the one that Caelum had dragged through the floo.

As they sat and watched her, gobsmacked at what they had witnessed, there was one final change; her eyes faded from being a deep blue to a startling shade of grey. Sirius's intake of breath was so sharp that it was clearly audible to everyone else in the room. The woman now standing in front of them could have been his older sister; the black hair, the aristocratic good looks, the silvery eyes. She was beautiful, striking… and a Black. There could be no doubt about that.

Sirius stood and moved towards her. He stopped directly in front of her and examined her features for a moment, then he scowled and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

'Hi Lu. Long time.'

The woman inclined her head very slightly, but said nothing.

'You recognise her then Black?' Moody cut in. 'Albus reckoned you might.'

'Yeah. Lucretia Black; my cousin. Last seen marrying a brain-dead moron by the name of Lacertes Lystrom and moving to Paris.'

Lucretia said nothing, merely lifted her chin and continued to glare at everyone around her. Moody scowled at her for a moment before speaking again.

'Well, we reckon your cousin has Mr Saxon here under the Imperius, and has been part of a Death Eater plot to infiltrate and take control of the paper.'

Sirius snorted. 'Sounds about right. Doing Lacertes' dirty work again Lu?'

Lucretia flicked her eyes over to Sirius. 'Don't address me, blood traitor.'

'You can take that as a yes I would have thought Albus.' Moody turned to Caelum. 'Take Mr Saxon to the ministry and get the curse-breakers to have a look at him. See if they can snap him out of it without him needing to go to Mungo's. We could do with keeping this quiet for a day or so.'

Caelum nodded his agreement and gently took hold of the gaunt man who'd been watching the scene with increasing signs of confusion. 'Come on then sir. Time to go.' Mr Saxon allowed himself to be led into the fireplace by Caelum, who gave one last wink and wave to James before disappearing in green flame.

Moody turned back to Lucretia and pushed her down into the chair recently vacated by Graham Nott. He opened his flask of veritaserum again and repeated the procedure he'd already used on Nott. After he'd asked her a few basic questions to check the efficacy of the potion, he nodded at Dumbledore to begin the questioning.

The Headmaster crossed the room to stand directly in front of the chair; James assumed that he would also use legilimency to gain answers if he could. 'What was the purpose of you taking employment at the Prophet?'

'To begin the infiltration of wizarding media and to ensure that people were hearing what the Dark Lord wished for them to know.' She answered promptly and without emotion.

Dumbledore nodded slowly, considering his next question. 'And the disguise?'

Lucretia curled her lip in a mocking sneer. 'It was deemed safer; as a Black I might have attracted suspicion had it been discovered that I was seeking employment. Black's do not lower themselves to _journalism_. I created an alias and produced a transfigured appearance to go with it.'

Moody asked the next question, his tone sharp and impatient. 'Is Saxon under the Imperius?'

'Yes.' Again, no hesitation and no sentiment.

'For what reason?' Asked Dumbledore, his eyes fixed on her. She resolutely kept her gaze locked on a spot on the wall behind his head, denying him access to her thoughts even as the veritaserum forced her to provide an honest answer.

'I needed to ensure that certain stories got printed and others got pulled. Rather than waste my efforts trying to control the entire staff, I simply Imperiused the editor, as he had the final say on content anyway. I initially tried to convince him of my viewpoint, but he was…unwilling to be swayed.'

Dumbledore paused for a moment as if absorbing the information before posing another question. 'What information were you to use the Prophet to disseminate?'

'I had a certain amount of freedom in that; I was to write articles that would praise the Dark Lord and everything connected to the blood-purity movement while disparaging those who opposed us.'

'And your articles defaming me were intended to turn public opinion against me?' Dumbledore's questions were coming faster now, and James wondered if he was trying to force her into inadvertently revealing more than the veritaserum could pull from her.

'Yes. The Dark Lord wished to limit your influence.' She kept her answer short this time, her mind obviously attempting to fight off the potion, but they all knew that was useless.

'I see.' Dumbledore paused again before he got to the points James was really interested in. 'And how did you come to hear of events at Hogwarts so quickly after they occurred?'

'I was approached by some students; Corbin and Mulciber. They informed me of their instructions to destabilise Hogwarts and we agreed that we could combine our objectives; they would cause chaos at the school and I would report it. Both were aimed at discrediting you and if possible removing you from all positions of influence. We agreed we could achieve more jointly than we could separately.'

Dumbledore inclined his head to Remus and Julia. 'Well-deduced, don't you agree Alastor?'

'Yes.' Moody was looking appraisingly at the five of them, and Lily found herself shifting uncomfortably under his gaze; Moody always made her feel like he was constantly assessing her and marking her actions. It didn't help her state of mind to know that he probably was. 'I may be wanting to have a little chat with you five - and a few of your friends - about your plans for when you finish school.'

Dumbledore coughed conspicuously and Moody rolled his eyes. '_After _Albus has had a chat with you first.'

'Thank you Alastor. I trust I can rely upon you to remove Miss Black…I beg your pardon, Mrs Lystrom, to the appropriate place?'

Moody nodded and waved his wand towards Lucretia; ropes flew out and bound her hands and he grasped her by the arm and pulled her into the fireplace. He aimed one last look at the assembled students and was gone in a burst of fire.

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'Well, you can't say today wasn't interesting.' James jumped at the sound of Sirius's voice coming from his bedroom doorway.

'I can if I'm comparing it to yesterday.' He shrugged his shoulders and grinned faintly. Sirius' lips twitched in response. Even people as naturally irrepressible as them couldn't just shrug off the events of the last two days, but they were doing their best to keep their spirits up.

'Where's your Tiger-Lily?'

'Going through some of Emma's things with the other girls. Her parents came and got her stuff first thing, but they decided to leave them some mementos to divide between them.' James dropped the small box he'd been holding in one closed fist down onto the bed and chucked a t-shirt over the top, hoping it would pass unnoticed by Sirius. No such luck.

'What's that?' His best mate threw himself down on the bed and flung the garment aside, grabbing at the box. He popped it open and stared.

'No. No way. You're kidding.' He looked up at James. 'Please tell me you're kidding.'

'Pads…' James' voice trailed off.

'A ring James?' Siirus brandished the box, his expression wild. 'Where did you even get it?'

Giving up, James dropped himself down on the bed alongside Sirius and took the ring box back. 'Lily's mum. She put it in my trunk at Easter with a note. It belonged to Lily's gran.'

Sirius shook himself out of whatever stupor he was in. 'James. Mate. You're not going to…are you?'

'I planned… I thought someday…Urgh!' He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and tried to think of a way to explain things calmly. 'I am. I've known for ages that I'm going to it's just a matter of when. I didn't think I'd do it for a long time, but after yesterday…I started thinking that maybe sooner would be better.'

He flopped backwards on the bed and covered his face with his hands. His voice was muffled as he spoke, but Sirius listened intently nonetheless. 'It's just…we never know how much time we've got do we? I could have lost her for good yesterday. I'm not sure there's a point in waiting when I know exactly what I want. So…I was thinking about it, I'll admit it.'

'Don't.' He uncovered his face and turned his head to look at Sirius, and for once his best friend's face was serious. 'Really James, don't. She'll think you've jumped into it because of what's happened. You can't ask her when she's grieving a friend.'

'I'm not an idiot Sirius!' James punched down on the mattress with frustration. 'I don't mean _now _as in today, right this minute_._ I'm not an insensitive git you know. I just wanted to give it some thought. You know, think about how I might like to do it.'

Sirius huffed and folded his arms. 'So, you might not be asking now, but I assume you're planning on asking very soon then?'

'And I assume from that bitchy tone of voice that you have a problem with that?'

Sirius frowned, his eyes fixed dead ahead of him at some unknown spot on the wall. 'Look, I love Evans, you know that right? And I think it's great that you have her, and that you guys might get married someday. _Someday._ After we've had a chance to have some fun you know? What about sharing a house after we leave school?'

James sighed and folded his arms across his chest, still lying back on his bed. 'We're still going to do that Sirius. I asked Lily remember? We're all going to live together.'

'Yeah, you say that now.' Sirius' voice was downright petulant by now. 'Once you're engaged you'll want to get your own house together, and then you'll get married and you'll be no fun anymore and I'll never get to see you because you'll be too busy being married!'

He ran out of breath and sat there glaring at the empty air in front of him.

'Really?' James sat up and raised his eyebrows at his best mate. 'That's what this was about?'

Sirius didn't move, and James rolled his eyes as he tried to think of a way of pacifying him. He understood; Sirius always panicked about the idea of losing people, and given his past record that was completely understandable. He'd been forced to leave his parents, his brother had been lost to him, and now he clung to his friends and to James' parents because they were all he had.

'Mate, I'll always have time for you and Remus and Pete. And Marls, Alice, Frank and _all of you_. Just because I want to marry Lils does _not_ mean I want to ditch my friends.'

There was a definite thaw in Sirius' posture. James was confident that being married to Lily would give him no trouble, because after dealing with Sirius' volatile emotions, a wife would be a picnic. He threw a sock from his bed at Sirius' head.

'And have you _met_ Lily? She'd never want to give up her friends and she'd never expect me to give up mine. Look, I'm not saying things are going to be exactly how we planned out before, but we didn't plan for war did we? It changes things.'

Begrudgingly, Sirius turned to look at him. 'And we're definitely going to share a house?'

James grinned. 'At least for a while, yeah. And even if me and Lils do get our own place, I'll still be out for full moons, and we'll still do Marauder stuff.'

Sirius sniffed. 'Can I be your best man?'

'Only if you let Remus help with the speech, and especially with the stag party. I'd like to survive both, thanks.'

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**********A/N: So, the whole veritaserum thing. I couldn't find a lot of information about it, so I kind of invented a little. I know that it forces someone who's taken it to tell the truth, but I wasn't sure if they could refuse to answer at all, so I added an element of compulsion to it's effects. Dramatic license and all that jazz.  
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**********Anyway, thank you again to everyone who's reading, I hope this chapter wasn't too much of a let down after the last couple (it was very dialogue-based I know) and that you guys still enjoyed reading it. We only have one, or possibly two, chapters to go now! (I originally planned for 35, but may split the final chapter into two)**

**********Reviews are better than chocolate peppermint fudge. And chocolate peppermint fudge is _awesome_.**


	35. Chapter 35 - Changes

******A/N: Sorry this took so long guys. I could give you reasons, but I'm sure you're not interested so I won't.  
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******Hope it's worth the wait.**

******X**

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The Daily Prophet landed on the Gryffindor table directly under Lily's nose. The hand holding her goblet of juice froze in mid-air for a moment, then she calmly placed the cup down on the table and used both hands to smooth out the newspaper, ignoring James as he slid into the seat next to her, shoving Remus along as he did so. The headline alone made her smile.

**Dumbledore's Speech Rallies Ministry**

There was a brief outline of the salient points of Dumbledore' speech and a large editorial on the subject took up a big chunk of the front page. The article was very much in favour of implementing Dumbledore's suggestions for new measures to curb Death Eater activity, and the writer hinted strongly that the Wizengamot would be fools to ignore "such sage wisdom". The picture of the Headmaster shaking hands with the Minister for Magic was a little overdone for Lily's tastes, but she supposed that it would have been a bit much to hope for subtlety. This _was_ the Prophet after all.

'Seems things really have changed at the Prophet.' James spoke cheerfully, his hand brushing past hers as he reached for the plate of toast.

'Mostly the staff I suspect.' Lily answered absently, her eyes skimming over the rest of the front page as her free hand found her way to his leg under the table. He turned his head slightly towards her and raised an eyebrow, but she completely ignored him other than to continue stroking his knee, apparently engrossed in the paper as she flipped the pages over, browsing through the articles.

In the three weeks since the Death Eater attack on Hogwarts, things had moved extremely quickly. Lucretia Black had ended up awaiting trial in Azkaban, and arrest warrants had been issued for her husband and for several other people known to have been involved in the events at Hogwarts and the Prophet, including Avery - who had been identified by Richard Johnson as being responsible for the death of Charlotte Greenfield – and Corbin, who was believed to have cast several Unforgivables.

No-one had been able to definitively say who was directly responsible for casting the curses that killed Chris and Emma, so their murders were still open cases as far as the Ministry and the Department for Magical Law Enforcement were concerned. The majority of the students who had absconded that day were unaccounted for, and since there was no exact proof that any of them were guilty of a crime or had done anything other than simply choose to leave school they were not on the aurors' wanted lists. The ones who had been positively identified – specifically Snape, Mulciber and Regulus – as being involved in the attack could not be proven guilty of much beyond assault or kidnap and so were not high priority in an auror department overloaded with serious cases.

The whole series of events had been relayed to the Minister by Moody, and Lorcan McLaird was happy to hear that he needn't concern himself with any further problems at Hogwarts, since the negative publicity had affected him almost as much as Dumbledore. It also seemed to harden his resolve towards the Death Eaters and their cause. While he wasn't a blood-purist himself, he was aware of the influence that many of them wielded and he had been careful not to publicly disparage them; that had now changed. While he was apparently not overly concerned with their activities when they were just attacking the rights of Muggleborns, he was not willing to allow them to threaten his own position by undermining him.

Things at the Prophet had begun to change almost immediately once Saxon re-appeared there. He had turned out to be an easy case for the curse-breakers at the Ministry; apparently Lucretia's Imperius hadn't been particularly strong or well-cast. The curse-breakers suspected that was another reason she had stayed working at the paper even after she'd taken control of the editor; her hex would have likely needed regular renewal to keep Saxon under her control. This meant that after he'd been away from her for a few hours the effects of the curse had been significantly reduced anyway, and only a little effort was needed to remove it entirely.

Apparently Saxon had pitched a fit worthy of Petunia when he'd returned to the paper. Several sub-editors had been fired, both for failing to notice the erratic behaviour of their cursed editor, and for failing to raise concerns regarding the rather inflammatory articles that were gracing the pages of his beloved newspaper. The remaining employees had apparently been spoken to extremely firmly on topics such as "journalistic integrity" and "the public trust".

The upshot of this was increased security protocols to fish out imposters and check for curses and several almost obsequious articles about Dumbledore, Hogwarts and almost everything associated with the two, including a four page spread highlighting the "bright futures" awaiting the extremely well-educated pupils due to leave that year. That one had made James laugh quite a lot. There was also an extremely flattering series about the sterling work of the auror department in recent weeks. That had apparently made his father laugh a lot.

Lily sighed and folded the paper back up. Most of the details of the plots to control Hogwarts and the Prophet had gone unreported in the paper, at the specific request of Moody and Dumbledore. Saxon had apparently decided to continue with this policy of reticence and the paper was careful about what it reported these days, and she understood why but she found it frustrating to read carefully worded reports that told her nothing new. She wanted accurate _news,_ she wanted to know what was happening in the world outside Hogwarts. How could any of them prepare if they didn't know what they were preparing for? She pushed her plate away and leant her elbows on the table, turning her head to look at James. He was pushing his toast around and daydreaming rather than eating. She'd noticed that he seemed to be off in his own little world more often recently.

'Nothing in the paper about Regulus again. Has Sirius…' she trailed off, not knowing quite how to continue, and James dropped his toast and turned his head to face her. He reached for the hand still resting on his thigh below the table and laced his fingers through hers. She squeezed back gently, glad as always for the physical reassurance of his presence.

'He's not heard anything. He even spoke to his mother, and you know how hard that must have been for him. He reckons it's only a matter of time though, and he's probably right; Regulus is in way over his head. He's more than likely to be caught or killed quickly.'

'God.' Lily rested her head in her free hand, keeping the other firmly in his grasp. 'When did everything get so difficult?'

James smiled sadly and let go of her hand to push her hair back from her face. 'It's been heading this way for a while really. All the little things add up. It's like a landslide; you see the small rocks falling and you think that's it, nothing serious, then all of a sudden everything's moving around you and it's already too late to run and you're being buried under it all.'

Lily turned her head, her forehead still resting against her palm, smiled at him and lifted her free hand to his face. 'That's a little bit deep for a Saturday morning isn't it?'

'Maybe.' James nuzzled into her palm. 'Especially right before Quidditch practice. Coming to watch?'

Lily slid closer to him on the bench, placing her hand on his knee again, and brought her forehead up to rest against his. 'Try and stop me.'

'It's my turn to put the equipment away.' James whispered in her ear. 'You could always stay behind after practice and er, help me out in the locker room.'

Lily felt a smile curve her lips upwards. 'Oh yeah? Help you out with what exactly?'

James grin echoed hers. 'You're a smart girl. You'll figure it out.'

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The door to the Head's common room flew open, and Sirius barrelled through it, startling both Lily and James who reacted to the intrusion into their rooms by grabbing their wands and aiming them directly at him in almost identical smooth movements. He raised both hands in front of him and waved them in surrender until the wands were lowered and Lily had relaxed back into James' arms on the sofa.

'Do you even know how to knock?' asked Lily, obviously disgruntled at being so rudely interrupted.

'Manners have never been his strong point.' Remus entered at a leisurely pace, Peter following him into the room and grinning widely as he swung the door portrait shut behind him.

'I didn't think you'd be in here to be honest.' Sirius spoke with a grin. 'I thought for sure you'd be upstairs. Most likely in Prongs' room.' He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

'Well, you thought wrong.' Lily retorted. 'We don't spend every minute we're away from you in bed you know.'

Sirius snorted with laughter. 'I bet you don't. There probably isn't a flat surface in these rooms you two haven't shagged on. Or against, depending. And I bet the desks out in the office have seen some use too…'

'Bloody hell Pads, _shut up!_' James groaned, one hand coming up to cover his eyes in exasperation while Lily found herself giggling immaturely. 'Don't encourage him Lil!'

'Fascinating though this is, I'd rather not get into details about your sex life.' Remus dropped into a chair and regarded James' reddening face with amusement. 'Though I have to say I'm not used to seeing you blush over anything.'

'Right, well thanks Moony.' James sounded even more annoyed. 'Was there a point to this intrusion?'

The other three Marauders quickly stopped laughing and looked at each other in a surprisingly solemn manner. Then Peter dug a hand into his pocket and pulled something out, handing it to James, who looked at it briefly.

It was an oddly textured piece of card, red and shaped like a feather of some kind. Peter's name was written on one side in swirling black letters, and on the other were the words "Headmaster's Office" with a date and time written underneath. The date was a Wednesday night, just over a week away, and the time was right after dinner. Mystified, James turned it over in his hands before passing it to Lily and looking at his friends for an explanation. Unsurprisingly it was Remus who spoke.

'They were on our pillows. Frank had one too. We figured whatever it was about, you two were the only people likely to know about it since you have more contact with Dumbledore than we do.' He raised an eyebrow questioningly, and James turned to look at Lily who instantly understood and got up from the sofa, heading towards the stairs.

'That's kind of creepy, the way you two do that you know.' Sirius said casually. James looked at him inquiringly, and he waved an arm dramatically as he responded. 'You know, the way you just look at each other and have a conversation without saying anything. It's very…"Village of the Damned" or something.'

James and Peter exchanged puzzled looks while Remus just about suppressed a snort of laughter.

'What's he on about?' James appealed to Remus, who just shook his head before answering quietly.

'Don't worry about it. He's just being a prat.' He thought for a second before adding 'But you might have been right when you said we should have stopped him taking Muggle Studies.'

Lily came back then, carrying two more of the red feathers, identical to the cards the three boys had received. She dropped one onto James' lap and held onto the other, toying with it as she sat down. James examined his card briefly, noting that the fact that it was addressed to him rather than Peter was the only thing that made it distinguishable from the other that he held.

'It's the shape of a Phoenix feather. I remember seeing an outline of one in my Care of Magical Creatures textbook.' Lily spoke quietly, her hands playing with her card feather as she focused on James. Again, something unspoken passed between them, and he nodded in acknowledgment before glancing briefly at his friends and turning back to give her a questioning look. She appeared to consider things only momentarily before she simply shrugged and, taking that as a sign of her approval, he turned to his friends and began to explain what little they knew of the Order of the Phoenix.

When he had finished outlining what Dumbledore had told them almost two months ago, back at the end of February, Peter looked a little apprehensive and Remus appeared lost in his thoughts. Sirius on the other hand was slowly turning red with fury. He stood up and began to pace the room angrily while the others waited for the inevitable outburst of temper.

'I can't believe you didn't tell us about this! You've known for _weeks_ and you didn't say anything!' He turned and faced James accusingly, but everyone remained quiet; all those who were well-acquainted with Sirius knew it was best to let him get his anger and frustration out. There was no reasoning with an infuriated Sirius.

'This is what I've been looking for, a chance to get back at those blood supremacist bastards who ruined my sodding life from birth, who are going to get my brother _killed_, and you kept it from me!'

James clenched his jaw slightly as he made a conscious effort to keep his temper as Sirius ranted and raved. He understood, he really did, but Sirius was so bloody infuriating when he got into these spirals of recriminations and impotent rage.

'Would you ever have told me? If I hadn't gotten one of these invite things, would you have _kept on_ keeping it from me? Hell Prongs, they probably know what's happened to Reg and you…you were just keeping your bloody mouth shut about everything.' He slammed a fist down on the mantelpiece before turning and heading back along his pacing route.

'And look who _does_ know!' He waved a hand in Lily's direction. 'Because_ Lily_ gets to know everything! Apparently, the only way to get information out of you these days is to be sleeping with you!'

You could have heard a pin drop in the moment that followed. Even Sirius froze as he realised what he'd said, and he hurried to try and get an apology out. 'I'm sorry Prongs.' He turned to face Lily. 'Tiger-Lily, I really am…I was…I'm just so…shit!' He turned his back on the rest of them and kicked the leg of the coffee table.

Lily was gripping tightly onto James' hand, keeping him in his seat. There was very little that could rile James up faster than someone questioning his loyalty to his friends, but insulting their relationship might be one of them; Sirius had just managed to do both and she could see the muscles in James' jaw clenching. Remus was casually adjusting his position, ready to intervene should the row develop into an actual fight, and Peter's eyes were flicking between Sirius' back and James' fist resting in his lap, obviously waiting for the first punch to be thrown; James and Sirius never fought each other with magic. She used her thumb to rub soothing circles on the back of the hand she was holding in an attempt to keep him calm. The last thing anybody needed right now was James to flip his lid completely and start fighting with Sirius, who was suffocating under the weight of his guilt over his brother. He was lashing out, and they all needed to remember how much he was hurting. She squeezed James' hand tighter as she tried to communicate all that to him with one wordless gesture.

'Lily knew because Dumbledore chose to tell her, just like he chose to tell me. If he hadn't told her, I wouldn't have. I keep people's secrets Padfoot, as you know better than anybody.' James' voice was all the most effective for how quiet and calm it was.

'I know that Prongs. I know that.' Sirius turned back to face them, his face a picture of misery. '_But he's my brother_. And for all I know he's _dead,_ and I need to do _something_. To fight back.'

To the surprise of everyone in the room, possibly including herself, Lily stood up, crossed the small patch of carpet between her and Sirius and put her arms around his waist to hug him tight. He stiffened and stood unmoving for just a few seconds before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her.

'We're _going _to do something Sirius. All of us.' Her voice didn't carry past him to the others, but it didn't need to; he squeezed her tighter and held on to her for dear life.

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Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet for the next few days, much to the bemusement of the majority of the student body in general. His friends accepted his mood without question and simply continued as normal around him, fully aware that Sirius would never accept pity or sympathy in an open format. That's not to say they didn't worry about him; they just didn't see any way they could help him deal with things.

The only person who seemed to interact a little differently with him was Lily; they had been reasonably good friends since the last summer, but recent events had led to them spending far more time together. This caused the three other Marauders to worry that they had upset him in some way, but when James had hesitantly approached Lily in the Head's common room one evening, to ask if he ought to be worried that Sirius seemed unwilling to discuss things with him but was more than happy to talk to her, she simply smiled, hugged him tight and told him he was a wonderful friend before dragging him off to her bedroom.

Bemused by the entire turn of events, he accepted her reassurance and allowed the subject to drop. The next evening she began to talk about it, quite circumspectly, while they were sat by the fire playing chess. She told him that she and Sirius had been discussing their respective family issues, something he couldn't possibly expect to sympathise with. They in no way intended to shut him - or any of their other friends - out, but Sirius found it easier to talk to her, someone who understood instinctively what it was like to be estranged from a family member, and he needed to vent his feelings properly before he could get back to normal.

Accepting that Lily was far, far better on the subject of feelings than he was – and inwardly shuddering at the idea of trying to have these conversations with Padfoot himself – he told Remus and Peter to just leave Lily to handle Sirius and he'd be back to normal in no time.

Even he was surprised though, when Sirius bounded up to him and Marlene at the end of Quidditch practice on Thursday night, grabbed them both in affectionate headlocks and announced that the cup was as good as theirs come Saturday morning. Once released, James' eyes wandered up to find Lily in the stands with Alice; she was casually examining her fingernails, pretending that she wasn't paying attention to the events on the pitch at all but the wide grin she wasn't quite supressing said otherwise.

As he mock-punched his best mate in the stomach, ignoring the swooping feeling of relief currently occupying his, his mind wandered again to the little black velvet box tucked away in his trunk, then to the red-head in the stands who was trying not to look smug. Maybe he should start thinking a little more urgently about that.

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Alice linked her arm through Lily's and reached out for Mary's hand.

'Ready?' she asked the two girls.

Mary wiped at her eyes with her free hand. 'It feels weird. Wrong. This is the first Quidditch match we've ever gone to without Emma. She _always_ went, even if none of us would go with her.'

Lily's eyes began to sting as well. 'If you want to stay behind, I'll stay with you.' She offered.

Mary gave her a weak smile. 'It's James' last ever match, and if he wins today he'll hold a joint school record for Cup wins. You should be there for that.'

'He's got bigger things to focus on today than me. He probably wouldn't even notice I wasn't there.' Lily's concerned eyes were still fixed on Mary's face.

'I hate to disagree Lil, but he would. He _really_ would. You should be there most out of any of us.' Alice interrupted. 'And if you don't want to go Mary, that's okay. But Emma wouldn't have wanted you to feel guilty about going or anything; she'd have _wanted_ you to go. Remember how she used to nag us all about showing some house pride and supporting the team?'

Lily smiled. 'And we used to tease her that she just thought Quidditch players were hot.'

Mary laughed weakly and wiped her eyes again. 'Well she did. She dated loads of them.' She let go of Alice's hand and pulled a tissue from her pocket. She dabbed at her eyes and took several deep breaths before she looked up again and linked her arm through Alice's. 'Right, let's go.'

They left the girl's dorm, and headed down to the common room, giggling as they had to squash together to get down the stairs without unlinking arms, to find Remus waiting at the bottom for them.

'Ladies.' He gave them the smallest of smiles, and Lily had no doubt that Remus was well aware of what had got them so tearful.

'You've been spending too much time with Sirius. You're starting to sound like him.' Alice giggled as she spoke and Remus gave her a look of simulated horror.

'What a thing to say to a bloke. I assume you lot are on your way to the match?'

Mary nodded and Remus opened the door for them, waving them out ahead of him. 'I'm meeting Pete by the front doors so I'll walk down with you.'

Lily looked over her shoulder at him. 'Where is Pete anyway? He wasn't at breakfast. And he's _always _at breakfast.'

Remus shrugged. 'Don't know. He disappeared off early this morning and just said he had something to arrange for today and he'd meet me later. I'd say he was off pranking the Slytherins since he had that sort of look on his face, but he wouldn't do that without telling one of us.'

'Fair enough.' Lily faced ahead again and the four of them made their way down to the main entrance. They'd got halfway down the final flight of stairs when Mary stopped and peered intently over the balustrade. Lily and Alice were jerked to a stop by their still-joined arms, and Remus almost ploughed into the back of them. They all teetered precariously on the staircase for a moment until they'd regained their balance, then they looked down to see what had caught Mary's attention.

Peter was standing near the doors with a group of people dressed in red and gold scarves and hats. They all seemed familiar, but from this distance none of them could quite make out who they were.

'Pete?' Remus called out questioningly. Peter turned and beamed at them, waving them over to him. They moved towards his little crowd and once they were halfway there Lily let out a little gasp and dropped her hand from Alice's arm. She knew they'd looked familiar; she knew them all. She just wasn't used to seeing them in Gryffindor colours.

Julia was there, along with Ben Jones, Chrissie Wellbeck, Dee Abbott, Richard Johnson, Steven Corner, Lenora Walters, Wazid Patil and two or three others she couldn't recognise from behind. All Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, all decked out in Gryffindor red and gold for the match.

'You don't mind sharing our stand do you? Thought it would be good for all of us to sit together today.' Peter grinned at them, obviously pleased with his idea, and there was an odd moment of quiet until Mary spoke.

'This is great; we _should _all sit together. Emma would have loved it.'

'Glad to hear it.' Ben smiled sadly at her as he spoke, and with a tug in her heart Lily remembered him carrying Emma's limp body gently across the broken street in Hogsmeade, and Chrissie crying when they told her about Charlotte. They weren't the only ones still hurting, and this gathering of people who all understood each other's sadness might just be what they all needed. She felt a swell of gratitude for Peter's thoughtfulness; she underestimated him sometimes.

Alice and Mary began to walk out with Ben, and the group followed them, meandering their way out of the castle. Lily noted Richard Johnson walking quietly by himself; she was about to go and join him when Remus slid past her and fell into step with him, the two of them heading out the doors just ahead of her. She jumped briefly when an arm slipped through hers, but she relaxed again when she heard Julia's laugh and recognised the pretty Ravenclaw falling into step beside her.

'Sorry.' The blonde tossed her hair back and smiled at Lily. 'Didn't mean to make you jump.'

'Not your fault. I'm pretty much permanently on edge these days.' Lily smiled back.

'I don't blame you; aren't we all? And you should feel sorrier for the rest of us – at least you have James to snuggle up to.'

'Don't you have Remus?' Lily asked, unable to keep the curiosity down. To her surprise, Julia blushed.

'Sort of.' She looked at the back of the tall sandy-blonde boy walking ahead of them alongside Richard, talking quietly. She answered in a low voice. 'He's great, isn't he?'

Lily matched her volume and tone when she replied. 'I've always thought so. There was a time I liked him quite a lot better than James.'

Julia sounded almost shy when she spoke again. 'I like him. I think he likes me. But we're not like you and James; there's…I don't know, there's something in the way of us having that. We're…friends who could be more, but we never seem to get there.'

Lily grimaced inwardly. The urge to meddle was overwhelming, but she knew she couldn't. She flicked a glance at the two boys a little way ahead of them, making sure they were out of earshot, even for Remus' hearing. 'Remus is…very private.' She chose her words carefully. 'He doesn't open up easily. If it makes a difference, he's probably more open with you than he is anyone else, other than those three bloody idiots he calls his best mates.'

'And you.' There was a definite questioning tone in Julia's voice, though she hadn't actually asked a question, and Lily moved her shoulders awkwardly, a little uncomfortable with the conversation; she simply couldn't tell if Julia was hinting that she wanted Lily to spill Remus' secrets to her, or if she was just curious about their relationship. She decided to play a little dumb and go with the last one.

'Well, I'm no longer a person in my own right you see. I'm "James' girl". They just treat me like an addition to him.' She pulled a face and Julia laughed; Lily felt a jolt of relief as the atmosphere lightened again. Inspired to do something to help this along, she pulled Julia to a halt and let go of her arm.

'Here's what you need to know about Remus; he doesn't think he's good enough. He doesn't think he deserves a girlfriend, he doesn't think he deserves a good job and a happy life. I can't tell you why he thinks that; that's his to tell. But just know this; he likes you, but he will always think that you can do better than him, and he will keep you at arm's length because of that.'

Julia was quiet for a moment, staring down at the ground, and Lily wondered if she'd overstepped too far this time. She was pretty sure she was already in for a rollicking from James when she confessed she'd had this conversation later. Then Julia's head came up and she met Lily's eyes, and the determination and concern in them melted Lily's reservations.

'Thanks Lily. Really.'

'Anytime. I like you both. I'd like to see you both happy.'

Julia held her arm out again. 'Let's go watch your boyfriend make Hogwarts history shall we?'

Lily groaned as she reached out and linked them back together. 'He's going to be unbearable.'

'You love it.'

'Shut up.'

The two girls grinned at each other as they hurried to catch up with the others.

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Two hours into the match, and the stands were still screaming themselves hoarse at what had to be one of the most exciting Quidditch matches in recent memory. Not so much for the outcome of the match - Slytherin needed to win by more than one hundred and fifty points to win the Cup, and not even the most optimistic supporter thought that was likely – but for the sheer daring of the plays both teams were using in their efforts to win.

James grinned to himself as he streaked through the air, imagining Lily sitting in the stands and biting her nails to the quick; he hadn't told her he was actually planning to use some of the more advanced, riskier plays they'd been trying out in practice, and he'd be willing to bet she was having conniptions right now. But this was his last match at Hogwarts, and he wanted to go out with a bang; the Cup was more or less in the bag before the match started, the points difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin was so great, but he was never one to be complacent when it came to Quidditch. And he wanted to keep his record of being undefeated as Captain, he was honest enough to admit that.

And the risky plays were bloody working too, he thought as he caught the quaffle from Frank and immediately aimed his broom down as he charged towards the posts. He sailed the quaffle towards the left hoop, saw the keeper frantically trying to pull himself back to position, away from Gregory's lurking figure off to the right – he'd fallen for that feint tactic three times now, James mused to himself – and watched it drop straight through.

'110-10! Gryffindor are running away with this match, and I don't think there's anyone here that can say they don't deserve it! Slytherin just can't keep up with these new plays we're seeing today!' The voice of Phillip Gordon rang out again, and James found time for a fist bump with Sirius as he flew past him.

He circled round past the Gryffindor stand, his eyes finding his friends again, a smile breaking out across his face automatically when he saw them. When he'd first noticed the disparate group, all wearing Gryffindor colours and cheering, he'd nearly fallen off his broom. Sirius had roared with laughter and actually_ had _fallen off, to be caught by Frank, who'd merely settled him back on his broom, blown Alice a kiss and flown off. He didn't think he'd ever be able to express what it had meant to him to see those people standing there, wearing his team colours and supporting him. He'd smiled at the whole group and noted everyone who was there so he could thank them later, but his eyes had zeroed in on Lily, as they always did.

They did so again now as he swooped past; he thought she was the only thing in the world that could distract his attention from a game of Quidditch. He noted the scarf around her neck – his Captain's scarf, which she'd worn at every game he'd played this year, including that first one back in December when he'd looped it round her neck and threatened to disown her if she took it off – and as he flew past she stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled at him. Looking at her then, wrapped up in his scarf - even though it was May and the sun was shining - grinning madly at him, her hair being blown across her face, his thoughts strayed again to that little velvet box tucked away in his room.

Frank yelled from somewhere off to his right, and shaking off his thoughts he dove towards the sound, arm outstretched to receive the quaffle. He tucked it under one arm and swerved round a Slytherin beater as he flew straight up the center of the pitch, Greg flanking him on the right and Frank flying just below him. He pulled up as he reached the posts, and an expertly aimed bludger came directly towards him, but he aimed his broom even more sharply upwards, shooting just out of range of the bludger before dropping the quaffle directly into Frank's waiting hands. Frank span his broom slightly to avoid losing the quaffle to a Slytherin chaser, and hurled the quaffle straight at the centre hoop, where it slipped through just out of reach of the keeper. 120-10. James found a moment to high-five both Frank and Greg before turning his broom and beginning another circuit of the pitch.

Four more goals later, James was hanging above the match, observing everything that was happening below him as he adjusted his padding where a bludger had slammed into him. It felt strange, wrong somehow, to absent himself willingly from the action, but the score was 160-10 and they could ease up on the attack momentarily while he dealt with his uniform. He didn't want to call a time-out if he could possibly avoid it, they didn't want to give their opposition time to re-group.

Wood was guarding his hoops well, Ken and Sirius were expertly dealing with bludgers and Greg and Frank were running a couple of two-chaser test plays for him; he'd devised tactics to be used should a chaser be injured and the team be limited to two, and he figured that there was no harm in trying them now since the score line was so heavily in their favour. He could always dive back in without finishing the adjustments to his clothing if something went horrendously wrong.

The only worry for him was Marlene; she hadn't sighted the snitch all match. Admittedly her opponent - a fifth year called Stebson - hadn't either, and he was extremely inexperienced having been drafted at the last minute to replace Regulus Black, _and _the score line was weighted enormously in their favour, but James preferred not to take chances even with odds like that. Just before the match he'd found himself hoping that it lasted for ages so that he could keep playing just that little bit longer, but now he wanted nothing more than to see that flash of gold in Marlene's hands that would mean they had won the match and then he could get his hands on that Cup.

Grinning to himself, he pulled his gloves back on and pushed his broom back down into the field of play, grabbing the quaffle from a Slytherin chaser on his way past and tossing it to Greg, who promptly executed a barrel roll to escape a bludger and used the momentum to corkscrew around a beater and towards the goal. James allowed himself a brief moment to enjoy exactly how it felt to be playing Quidditch one last time before he shot off up the field after Greg, who needed absolutely no help to put the quaffle throught the hoop. 170-10.

Fifteen minutes later, the score was 200-30, and James was flying furiously after a Slytherin chaser who was currently in possession of the quaffle. His adrenaline was up, and he was flying faster than ever, but even he had to admit he was starting to tire; the last quarter of an hour had been insanely hectic with five goals going in in the space of less than ten minutes. He'd been in the air for more than two and a half hours, and he was beginning to feel weariness in his muscles that he couldn't afford. He caught sight of Frank out of the corner of his eye, and he could tell from the way he was holding his broom that he was having trouble with his shoulder. He was just wondering whether to call a time out to discuss tactics with his team when the excited voice of Phillip Gordon caught his attention again.

'And McKinnon is going after the snitch! Stebson has a tricky decision to make here! He's closer to the snitch, but catching it now would cost Slytherin the match! Can he hold McKinnon off without catching the snitch himself? No he can't! McKinnon is out-flying him here, closing in on the snitch, and this could make it an_ incredible_ Gryffindor win...'

James strained his ears to listen as he kept his eyes on the chaser he was harrying, willing Marlene to the snitch as hard as could.

'…and Stebbins has grabbed the snitch! Gryffindor win 200-180, but faced with the possibility of losing by over three hundred points, Stebbins has chosen to end the match himself to keep McKinnon away from the snitch!'

There was a cheer from the Gryffindor stands, and even though Slytherin had got the snitch James couldn't find it in himself to be disappointed with the outcome; they'd won. He was an _undefeated_ Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, and a chaser with a joint school record of four cup wins. He turned on his broom and began to scan the pitch for Marlene, sure she'd be feeling down at missing the snitch; to his shock, she was already flying towards him with a huge grin plastered across her face.

She collided with him in mid-air, and he laughed as he hugged her, and then the other members of the Gryffindor team began to crash into them, and then they were all yelling at each other. James wrapped one arm around Sirius' shoulders and another around Marlene's. He turned his head towards the blonde girl. 'And here I thought you'd be upset at missing the snitch!'

'I thought I would be too, until he grabbed it! But who cares? We just won the cup!'

They sank towards the ground as a messy group, several of them hanging onto to each other while they yelled themselves hoarse. James eventually had to release Marlene and Sirius, since it was either that or crash his broom, and when he finally touched a foot to the ground he was hit at chest height by Lily's full bodyweight as she practically crawled onto his broom with him.

'You won! James, you're the most successful Quidditch player in the last fifty years!'

James looked down at her smiling face, those green eyes creasing in the corners as she grinned up at him and held his face between her cold hands, and he almost – almost – blurted the question that seemed to have been hanging on his tongue for weeks there and then. But he bit it back and smiled down at her, keeping his grip on her even as Professor McGonagall attempted to hand him the trophy.

He took it in one hand and acknowledged the crowd with a wave of the trophy before passing it back to Sirius, who waved it wildly in the air. He turned back to Lily but was distracted again by someone calling his name. He turned and saw Raiff Wilkes, the Slytherin captain, walking towards him. He couldn't deny he was surprised; he didn't think he'd ever spoken to him before, since he was in the year below them and had only been made captain this year. Raiff stopped just in front of the couple and extended a hand towards James.

'It was a good game Potter. You run a good team.'

James was silent for just a second as he absorbed the situation and he quickly decided on a response. He shook Raiff's hand, ignoring the looks and whispers they were both getting. 'Yours has got potential Wilkes.'

Raiff gave him a faint grin. 'I know. I reckon we'll win next year; Gryffindor will find it hard to replace you, and I plan to capitalise on it.'

'How very Slytherin of you.' Lily commented, careful to keep any trace of rancour from her voice. She was as unsure as James about what to make of this conversation; Slytherins tended to perennially avoid Gryffindors, regardless of their politics.

Raiff turned to her and his lips twitched slightly. 'Well, we do what we're good at after all.'

He stepped back and began to turn away. 'I'll see you around Potter. Evans.' He nodded to them both and walked back to his teammates, who had been watching the exchange with no obvious animosity.

James looked down at Lily. 'What the hell just happened?'

She looked back up at him. 'Slytherins can be nice people too you know.'

'I know.' He answered easily. 'I'm just not used to being confronted with the evidence of it.'

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'Is it weird that I'm nervous?' Lily held onto James's hand as they walked towards Dumbledore's office. Wednesday night had come around surprisingly quickly. 'I mean, you and I both have a pretty good idea of what this is about, and we know at least some of the people who'll be there, but _still_. I feel out of my depth already.'

James grinned down at her and swung their joined hands. 'Lily Evans, out of her depth? Surely not.'

She swatted lightly at his shoulder. 'It's not funny. I don't like not knowing what to expect.'

James snorted. 'Welcome to life, love. It's not likely to get more predictable from here on in.'

'Thanks James.' Lily glared up at him. 'You always know how to make me feel better.'

He laughed and put an arm round her shoulders, tucking her tightly into his side. 'Well, if it makes you feel any better Lils, whatever is coming, we'll face it together. Always together. Right to the end.'

Lily put her arms around James' waist and snuggled into him as they walked, more comforted than she ought to be by his words. They came to a halt outside Dumbledore's office and straightened up, letting go of each other as they tidied up their clothing. James raised an eyebrow at her, and she took one deep breath before nodding; he raised his hand and knocked, and the door swung open in front of them.

Stepping into the office, they were both surprised by how many people were inside; the room must have been magically expanded to fit everyone. They recognised many of the people already inside, considering a large number of them were seventh year Hogwarts students; Sirius, Remus and Peter were standing in one corner with Julia, Mary and Marlene and they moved towards them, waving to Frank and Alice who were on the far side of the room talking to an older wizard who James identified as Franks' uncle Edgar. They barely had time to say hello before Dumbledore stepped to the front of the room and cleared his throat in an obvious call for order. The room fell silent as the assembled students automatically turned to face the old wizard, who was now flanked by Alastor Moody, and a tall man who James whispered in her ear was Caradoc Dearborn, Head of the Department of Magical Transportation. A number of other witches and wizards were gathered in a group behind him, watching the students in the room carefully.

'Welcome everyone, and thank you for coming.' Dumbledore sounded as calm and serene as ever, and Lily wondered briefly if anything fazed him.

'I'm sure you are all wondering why you've been invited here. Well, _most of you_ are wondering why you've been invited here.' He threw a quick glance towards James and Lily; she blushed but James just grinned.

'I've invited you here because I wish to tell you about an organisation. An organisation called the Order of the Phoenix.' He paused, and his usually cheerful face settled into a far more solemn visage.

'The Order exists to resist the dark wizard who calls himself Lord Voldemort. While I cannot give you the names of all our members or exact details of the kind of activities we are involved in, I'm sure you can stretch your rather active imaginations and make some educated guesses. I have asked you here this evening to issue an invitation to join us when you have finished school.'

He indicated the gathered witches and wizards behind him. 'Please take this as an opportunity to speak to the Order members here this evening. Talk to each other, discuss your feelings on the matter. Because you will find that you cannot discuss it with anyone else once you leave this room. You will simply not be able to; this is done to safeguard the lives of our members.' He looked around and waited until everyone in the room had indicated that they had heard and understood him.

'You do not need to make a decision now. The invitation to each of you is made, and it has no expiration date. If you decide to join us, all you need to do is magically burn the phoenix feather card you received that invited you here, using your_ own_ wand, and you will be added to our rolls; you will then receive messages to inform you of both the locations of future meetings, and of dates and times. You will not be notified of any meetings until after you have left school, _even if you burn your card tonight_. The Order does not accept members before they have formally finished their education.' He smiled suddenly. 'I'm sure you can guess whose rule that is. I wouldn't want my students abandoning me for a life of intrigue before they had the opportunity to sit their NEWTs.'

He clapped his hands together and his face was suddenly more cheerful again. 'This is all the information I can give you at this time. Now, please everybody, feel free to ask questions, talk amongst yourselves and help yourselves to drinks.' He indicated a table off to one side, and his eyes twinkled as he turned towards Sirius. 'No firewhisky I'm afraid Mr Black.'

'That's okay Professor.' Sirius grinned. 'There can't _always_ be firewhisky.'

The tension broke as several people laughed, and conversations began as people started to mingle. Lily and James made a circuit around the room slowly, speaking to almost everyone, and Lily found herself surprised yet again by the sheer number of people that James knew. They had just finished talking to a pretty witch just a few years older than them named Amelia Bones, who James had mockingly introduced as "his fifty-fourth cousin, twice removed" and were moving on when Lily mentioned this to James, who promptly laughed at her.

'I think you're forgetting how small the magical world really is Lils. After a few years you'll know everyone as well.'

She frowned. 'Come again?'

He stopped and turned to face her, using their joined hands to tug her to a halt. 'There aren't really that many witches and wizards in Britain Lils, and most of them are related in one way or another. And my family are pure-bloods, which means I'm related to practically half the wizarding world. And you saw what my parents' New Year's Ball was like, right?' He waited for her to nod before he continued. 'Now, I've been going to that, and to similar parties hosted by other families, _my whole life_. After a few years you've met everyone there is to meet. Especially when your parents are well-known for their work at the Ministry; _everyone _introduces themselves.'

He frowned and reached up to twist a loose lock of her hair back into her messy bun. 'The worst bit is all the loopy mothers that want to marry their daughters off, and into "a good pure-blood family", whatever the hell _that_ means.' He shuddered and Lily grinned; the fact that he was obviously appalled by the very idea made it impossible to be mad about the thought of other girls being thrown at him. She was glad that she was secure enough in their relationship not to be bothered about the thought of James being a catch for a nice pure-blood girl to settle down with; a couple of months ago the very idea would have sent her into a crazed spiral of anxiety and self-doubt. She used their still-joined hands to tug him a little closer to her.

'Eligible, are you?' she asked, grinning up at him.

'Well, I'm rich, talented, handsome. What's not to like?' He grinned at her and stepped a bit closer again. 'The worst bit is, I'm probably _already _related to most of them.'

'That is quite gross.' Lily agreed, her smiling eyes fixed on his. 'You could end up fathering your own cousin.'

James grimaced. 'That is actually a truly disgusting thought.' He reached a hand up and trailed his thumb over her jawbone, his face softening back into a smile as he looked at her. 'And, unfortunately for them, I already have my sights set on someone a little…different.'

She raised an eyebrow at him and tilted her head back to keep eye contact as he closed the last small gap between them. 'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah.' He nodded. 'Definitely; I like my women red-headed, hot-tempered, and preferably muggleborn. They're just so much more_ interesting_. And they make my life quite exciting from time to time.'

'Is that so?' Lily's voice was tinged with amusement as she looked at James' hazel eyes shining down at her. He may be teasing her, but she knew there was a certain amount of truth in his words.

'All right you two, break it up.' Moody's gruff voice came from alongside them, and they sprang apart. Lily found herself blushing when she realised just how close they had been standing; somewhere in that conversation she'd forgotten they were in a room full of people, and she was now fully aware of the number of amused looks being thrown their way. Trying to pretend she couldn't feel her cheeks burning as her face reddened, she turned her attention to the stocky man stood next to them.

'Been meaning to talk to you two for a while now.' Moody looked at them both appraisingly and continued without bothering with any sort of preamble. 'We need aurors. _Good_ aurors. You've both got talent. Got brains. I'd like to see your applications on my desk come July.'

James grinned at that. 'Mine's been written since Christmas.'

Moody laughed, an odd, rough sound. 'You're a lot like your dad. That's a good thing. He was one of the best. Still is, actually.' He turned to Lily. 'What about you Evans?'

'Lily.' She said quietly. 'And I haven't made any decisions about any of this yet.'

He narrowed his eyes at her. 'Fair enough. Just give it some thought. Talk to your friends; I've already spoken to a few.' He turned at gestured at several people. 'Longbottom, Prewett, Black.'

James' eyebrows shot up so far Lily was surprised they didn't hit his hairline. 'Sirius? Really?'

Moody scowled. 'If he was a talentless bug, I'd _still _ask him to consider applying, just to annoy his bloody family. A Black becoming an auror would really get his mother's goat. But he's actually a bloody decent wizard if you can get him to pay attention for more than two minutes at a time.' He gave James another of those appraising looks. 'From what he said - and from what Dumbledore tells me - you've been teaching some of the kids here a thing or two. If any of your little lot of vigilantes want to send an application in, I'll give them all some consideration.''

He stepped away from them and gave them a distinctly crooked grin. 'I'll let you get back to making the rounds. I'm sure you're enjoying that.' James didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice. He turned to leave, then changed his mind and stepped back. 'I was impressed with how you've handled things this year. The attacks, the dementors, and especially this last incident. There aren't many who can face Voldemort and stay strong. You did well. Both of you.' He nodded once at both of them as he stepped away again, this time turning and heading towards Dumbledore.

James turned back to Lily. 'Well, that was…interesting.'

She nodded, then started to giggle as a thought occurred to her. James gave her a puzzled look. 'What?' He asked. 'What's funny?'

'You.' She choked out in the midst of her laughter. 'You've been running yourself ragged this year, doing an extra NEWT and everything to make sure your application to the Academy looks good, and the Head Auror just more or less hired you without even asking about them.'

James opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again when it became apparent that he had no words. After a few seconds he smiled at her. 'I'm too pleased with myself to be upset about that. And who knows when a thorough knowledge of Arithmancy will come in useful right?'

'Oh, absolutely.' Lily answered with mock seriousness. 'I don't know what I was thinking, dropping it after OWLs. How will I manage without it?'

'That's quite enough out of you.' He tweaked her nose affectionately. 'The only real downside was the fact that it put me in close proximity to Roberta Watson all year.' He grimaced briefly, but smiled again as he looked at her. 'Anyway, give it a month or so and I won't ever have to see her again.'

He caught her hand again and began to lead her back through the crowd. 'Let's go see what Moody said to Frank and Alice.'

'James.' She tugged on his hand until he stopped again and faced her. 'You know I said I hadn't made any decisions yet?'

He nodded. 'And that's okay Lil, you have loads of time…'

She interrupted him by putting a finger on his lips. 'Well, that wasn't entirely true. I have made one decision.' She looked up at him. 'When do you want to burn our cards?'

He was silent for a minute as he looked at her thoughtfully, and she began to feel nervous, wondering if she'd misjudged this and he was going to consider her decision to join the Order a bad one rather than a good one. She didn't want to fight with him about this, she wanted him to have faith in her and support her decisions. He reached out and caught her other hand, holding her in place so they were toe-to-toe; and he looked down at her as if he was seeing her for the first time all over again, and she began to lower her gaze self-consciously. As her chin dropped, he let go of one of her hands and used his fingertips to tilt her face up so she was looking at him once more.

'At King's Cross. When we get off the train.'

She was as surprised by the evenness of his tone as she was by the answer itself. 'Any reason?'

He shrugged. 'Just seems appropriate. We get off the school train for the last time, and burn our cards. Like a cathartic thing; start the next stage right as you finish the old one. Just makes sense to me.'

Lily nodded her understanding, and curved her lips into a smile. 'Tomorrow to fresh woods, and pastures new?'

James grinned and lowered his hand from her face to place it on her back, pulling her closer. 'Milton. I love it when you get all clever with me.'

She squirmed in his grasp. 'James, we are in a room full of people…'

'Don't care.' He answered, before letting go of her hand and snaking his arm around her back, pulling her in tight and pressing his lips down on hers, suppressing any further complaints. It was only a soft, gentle kiss, barely more than a brush of lips, but she could feel the meaning he was trying to pour into it, could feel his pride and belief in her, and now _she_ didn't care either. She tightened her arms around his waist, kissed him back firmly and ignored the indulgent smiles on the faces of the people around her.

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**********A/N: 'Tomorrow to fresh woods, and pastures new' is a line from Milton's 'Lycidas'. Great poem. If you're inclined to read poetry that is.  
**

**********And Village of the Damned is an old horror movie about a village where some of the children develop telepathic powers. It struck me as the kind of thing Sirius would enjoy.**

**********There's only one chapter left now. This does make me slightly sad. **

**********I just wanted to say that I know there are quite a few loose ends left dangling (Remus and Julia for example) and originally I planned to cover their story in this fic, but about halfway through writing this one of you lovely reviewers (I'm afraid I can't remember who now) dangled the idea of a sequel in front of me. This stuck in my head and I ended up altering my plans for the second half of this fic; so what I'm getting at here is that this fic will end next chapter but the story will continue in a sequel!**

********** If you are interested in reading that you may want to put me on author alert, because while I will try to remember to add an author's note to this one, I make no promises!**

**********Anyway, as always thank you for reading, and if you have any comments, suggestions etc I would love to hear from you. Click the review button and feed the review monster.**

**********XX**


	36. Chapter 36 - Endings

**A/N: Incredibly long author's note coming up. You have been warned.**

**Sooo: five months, 36 chapters, more than 200,000 words and over 400 reviews. I can't quite believe that this story ended up here. It was originally going to be ten chapters of approximately 2000 words each; I planned a short story and somehow appear to have written a novel.**

**I cannot thank you all enough for taking the time to read, and for your reviews and support throughout the course of this story. Having never written anything before, it's been surprising to me that anyone has any interest in reading my writing, so any confidence that I have found in my abilities has come from all of you. YOU ROCK.**

**This chapter contains drunken Marauders, a fair few tears, a little nostalgia, some very important conversations and a little something that I think a few of you have probably been waiting for. I'm not going to lie, I made myself cry more than once writing this one; I just hope it's not a disappointment. The structure is a little different than usual, but I thought it suited the final chapter. Little suggestion; when you get to the last section when James and Lily leave the party, try listening to 'Question' by Old 97s.**

**And finally, this last chapter of TT has a few dedications:**

**To hplover1234567, for being the first ever follower ****_and_**** first reviewer of this story.**

**To SuperCara, who always seems to pick up on the little things.**

**And to ClaireBear1982 and MaryLouise1996 for their ****_tireless_**** and continuous reviewing, right from the early days of this story.**

**Thanks everyone. Let me know if I make you cry too. **

**X**

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The minute hand ticked onto the twelve, and the bushy-haired examiner straightened up at the front of the room as he checked his wristwatch before speaking.

'Quills down everyone.'

The slight feeling of tension in the room dissipated, to be replaced by a more relaxed air, and the sound of quill scratching across parchment ceased, swiftly supplanted by the noise of more than a hundred students gathering their belongings. The examiner gave a quick twist of his wand and the examination papers flew from the desks to the front of the room where they sealed themselves into a leather briefcase.

'Thank you, you may go.' The small man gave a brief smile to the room in general as it began to empty. The noise level rose as students began to hustle their way out of the room, singly or in groups, some talking loudly, others deathly quiet.

'And we're done!' Sirius whooped as they left the Great Hall. He did an odd dance around Remus, waving his hands in his face until Remus punched him in the arm. Sirius, never one to be put off by anyone else's lack of enthusiasm, continued his dance as he made his way to the main staircase well ahead of the rest of them, garnering odd looks from a number of the younger students, who nonetheless accepted his odd behaviour unquestioningly.

Lily watched him with amusement as she followed along behind him in the midst of a group of their friends. 'He's irrepressible isn't he?'

Remus laughed. 'He's just glad to be done with schoolwork. You just wait; it'll hit him later that he actually has to leave Hogwarts now, and then he'll drink too much and start crying.'

Lily looked up at James for confirmation. He grinned down at her. 'Moony's right. He's all chirpy now because he doesn't have to do schoolwork anymore. Once he actually thinks about it and realises that we're really done with Hogwarts, he'll probably have a bit of a breakdown.'

Lily shook her head. 'I'll never get used to you lot. You're so weird.'

'We prefer to think of ourselves as "interesting"'. Peter piped up from behind her. 'Prongs, party in the common room?'

James looked down at Lily, eyes pleading and she huffed a sigh. 'You don't have to give me the kicked puppy look. It's not like I'm a total spoilsport.'

'Is that Lily-speak for "okay"?' he asked hopefully.

Lily looked up at him, her expression lightly amused. 'Anyone would think I was the only voice of authority around here. _Yes James,_ we can have a party in the common room. Usual rules still apply.'

'What rules?' Alice turned her head to look over her shoulder at Lily, but it was James who answered with a grin.

'Lily's rules: Remus keeps track of the alcohol; no-one under the age of fifteen gets any; third years and younger have to go to bed at twelve.'

Alice raised her eyebrows questioningly at Lily, who shrugged.

'What? I was never going to be able to stop them from having parties, so I settled for damage limitation. We compromised.'

'When did this start? And why didn't the rest of us know about it?' Alice still looked a little confused.

'Lily and I worked it out in fifth year when we both became prefects. We didn't want to be arguing over things all the time so we came to an agreement.' Remus answered lightly. 'I explained it – in short, easy to understand sentences – to my three idiot mates, and lo and behold! Three years of parties without argument. The rules never affected any of you lot, so you probably never even noticed them.'

Alice accepted his explanation and turned back to watch where she was walking, though she still looked slightly baffled.

'Anyway, I'll round up Padfoot and go get some supplies.' Peter edged past Lily, James and Remus, eyes searching for Sirius. He finally spotted him dancing Marlene around in circles on the main staircase. 'Looks like he needs to work some energy off anyway. Taking the map, alright Prongs?'

He pushed forward, nudging his way through the crowd until he caught up with Sirius, grabbing his arm to get his attention. As soon as he recognised Peter, Sirius fell to his knees in front of him and began to sing the school song, arms outstretched as he serenaded his now somewhat flustered friend.

'Bloody hell.' Lily's voice sounded to be somewhere between amused and appalled. 'I vote Remus deals with him later. It's like he's on drugs.'

James threw an affectionate arm round her shoulder. 'Not to worry love. He'll be crying into his butterbeer come eleven o'clock.'

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'Iss just…Hoggy, Hogs….thish place' Sirius waved his arm around in an attempt to indicate the castle 'it'sss my home, you know?'

Mesmerised, Lily nodded her understanding as Sirius continued his monologue without waiting for a response.

'Prongsies house iss great. It'sh brilliant, fantastic, brilliant.' He frowned. 'Did I shay brilliant?'

Lily nodded again, apparently rendered incapable of speech by the train wreck occurring in front of her eyes. She watched as Sirius endeavoured to pour himself another drink, missed totally, pouring the liquid all over the table, then attempted to swig from the glass he'd just completely failed to re-fill. He went cross-eyed as he tried to examine the contents of his empty glass from a distance of a few centimetres, before he gave up and reached for the bottle again.

He took a swig from it, and Lily winced at the sheer amount of alcohol that disappeared down his throat. She wasn't exactly sober, and given that James was dancing with Frank, Alice was drawing on Marlene's face and Mary was trying to teach a fifth year how you made margaritas, she assumed they weren't either, but nobody else in the room seemed to be approaching the same level of drunkenness as Sirius.

'But it'ss not the same. Thish, thish was the first place I was _happy_, and I'll _mish_ it, you know?'

Lily nodded again. She most certainly _did_ know, but she wasn't going to attempt a semi-serious conversation with him in this state. He carried on talking, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she wasn't listening to his nostalgic, if slightly confused, recounting of their sorting. She was just wondering if she could levitate him up the stairs to his bed without him noticing when salvation appeared, in the form of the other three Marauders.

'Told you he was pissed,' said Peter, unable to keep the amusement from his voice, which carried only the slightest hint of inebriation. His grin spread even further as Sirius suddenly launched himself at Lily and held her tight to him in a death grip.

'Lily! Tiger-Lily, my prec…preshi…special flower! I'll mish you mosht of all!'

'She's going to live with you, you complete dingbat!' James slurred his words slightly but seemed otherwise alert and aware. He leaned forward and prised Lily free from his hands. 'And you are absolutely wasted mate.' He tugged Sirius to his feet and pulled his arm around his shoulder, gripping his waist to hold him up as he swayed into his side. Lily's mind flashed back to the day in Potter Manor when she'd seen him do the exact same thing after Sirius had been caught in the explosion and had staggered home injured. The sober part of her brain wondered just how much time he'd spent holding Sirius up over the years to be able to do that so easily and unthinkingly.

'Bloody fuck!' Just as James began to swear and stagger slightly under the strain of supporting a friend who was being extremely un-cooperative, Remus grabbed Sirius from the other side, as Peter prudently relieved him of his wand.

'Ten thirty.' Said Remus looking at his watch, squinting a bit as he tried to focus through slightly tipsy eyes. 'Seems we both had a bit more faith in him than he deserves Prongs. I owe Pete three galleons.'

'You bet on your friend's drunkenness?' Lily asked incredulously.

Peter grinned. 'We bet on everything Lily. I thought you knew that. I knew he'd get pissed extra quick tonight, after what happened with the map.'

James' head whipped round. 'What about the map?'

Peter winced. 'He said he was going to tell you. He didn't?'

James shook his head, and Peter peered at him. 'Are you sure? You are pissed, you might just have forgotten.'

James scowled. 'I'm not that pissed. He hasn't said anything to me about the map. Moony?'

Remus shook his head, and he and James looked back at Peter, who shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny. 'Well, we were on our way back from Hogsmeade with the supplies, and we were just coming out of the passage – the one behind the one-eyed witch – when we saw Filch coming on the map. We managed to close the passageway and keep the stuff hidden, but Sirius couldn't hide the map in time. Filch confiscated it.'

'Filch what?!' James shouted. He noticed the curious looks being aimed his way, and lowered his voice before he spoke again. 'Filch has the map? _Our_ map?'

'Yeah, but he doesn't know what it is!' Peter spoke hurriedly. 'Sirius managed to lock it, he thought he was confiscating a blank piece of parchment. He was just being a git.'

James and Remus were rendered silent for a few moments, until Remus eventually spoke.

'Look at it this way mate; we're leaving in a few days, so it's not like we'd have much need for it in the future is it?'

'I know Remus.' James answered, his tone a little sad. 'It was just such a good piece of magic. And it would have been nice to keep it.'

'It would.' Remus reached around a now semi-comatose Sirius to slap James on the back. 'But think of it as our legacy; leaving it behind for future generations yeah?'

James grinned at him. 'Well, when you put it like that Moony…'

Sirius groaned and James raised an eyebrow. 'Right, he needs to sleep it off. Come on mate.'

Lily and Pete walked ahead of them, clearing any obstacles off the stairs as they went, and James and Remus supported Sirius' weight as they hauled their drunken friend up to his dorm.

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Lily slid into her seat at the breakfast table and adjusted her school robes. Alice flashed her a quick grin.

'Late down aren't you? Last day and all, I thought you'd be sat here bright and early.'

Lily attempted to straighten up her tie and glared at Alice. 'I might have been, if I had been left alone to my own devices. As it was, I had to get a recalcitrant Head Boy moving as well, then help him kick his idiot mates out of bed. Needless to say, it delayed me.'

'Oh.' Alice sounded disappointed. 'I was hoping you were late and dishevelled for much better reasons.' She winked and Lily groaned at the implication.

'Seriously, why are you lot under the impression that James and I spend every spare moment shagging?'

'Because you probably do.' Sirius threw himself down onto the bench opposite, teeth flashing as he smiled at her.

'We do not.' Lily glared at him, but felt her expression soften immediately when a gentle pair of lips landed on her cheek and then moved up to whisper in her ear.

'We do in my dreams love.' James kept his voice quiet and low, and he admired the blush that spread across her cheeks as he sat next to her and began to tap his fingertips on the table impatiently. Alice raised an eyebrow at Lily's sudden lack of composure but diplomatically remained silent on the subject.

Sirius, on the other hand, smirked and opened his mouth, but he was thankfully cut off before he could speak by Dumbledore standing up at the teacher's table and raising his arms for silence.

'So, we come to the end of another school year! The last day is always a bittersweet one.' The Headmaster spoke cheerfully, but there was a solemn edge to his tone. He lowered his arms and looked down at the table briefly before he continued in a more subdued voice. 'Most of you will return in September, to continue your studies and to re-join your friends here. However, we say goodbye to our seventh year students, and possibly to some of our fifth and sixth years as well.'

He paused and observed the roomful of students with a degree of melancholy in his expression. 'This has been a difficult year for all of us; more so, I admit, for some than others. I wish I could pretend that it will be the last difficult year you will suffer through, but alas, this is unlikely to be the case. We all have hard struggles ahead of us, and we can only hope that we are able to meet them, and that by fighting back against the darkness that threatens our world, we _will_ keep it at bay.'

He paused, and his gaze drifted around the room again. 'I encourage you to consider your futures carefully. I'm sure you are all aware that a number of your fellow students made some very large decisions this year; decisions that will have very large consequences, and repercussions that will follow them for the rest of their lives. Please, I beg you, do not make rash decisions of your own; some things, once done, cannot be undone.'

There was a moment of silence as Dumbledore's words seemed to hang in the air. Then he smiled unexpectedly.

'Difficult as this year has been, it has also been uplifting in many ways; new friendships have been formed, old prejudices overcome and I am proud to say that many of my students have displayed a spirit of unity and bravery that is seen only rarely. If we have demonstrated one thing at Hogwarts this year, it is that we can achieve far more together than we can apart. If you take only one lesson from this year, let it be an understanding that together, we are _more _than the sum of our parts.'

He lifted a glass from the table and held it in front of him. 'Now, all that remains is to wish everyone a happy and healthy holiday, and to bid a fond farewell to those who are leaving us; I believe we will miss you far more than you will miss us.'

He raised his glass, and the rest of the room hurried to follow suit. Lily felt tears beginning to sting at the back of her eyes, and she leaned back towards James, knowing that he would respond in the way she wanted and wrap his arms around her. She felt his arms encircle her, and she closed her eyes and relaxed into his hold, until she felt a warm hand cover hers where it lay on the table. Opening her eyes, she met Sirius' silvery-grey ones looking at her with concern; she turned her hand over in his grip to give his a reassuring squeeze and he grinned back at her. He pulled his hand away just as the food began to magically appear on the table, and she rested her head against James' chest for just a few moments more before she allowed him to let go of her. He offered her the plate of omelettes that had appeared alongside his elbow with a tentative smile, and she reached out for one, offering her own smile in return. She glanced round to look at all of her friends, gathered at the breakfast table one last time; some were crying, some laughing, others focused on piling as much food as possible onto their plates, but they were all there, sitting together in a way they never would again.

She turned to her left to see James and Sirius suddenly embroiled in the middle of a discussion, waving their forks at each other as they tried to argue their respective points; Remus was trying his very best to ignore them and Peter was staring at his plate as he tried not to laugh. If she looked to her right, she could see Mary giggling as Marlene teased Alice and Frank. She felt a sudden smile break out on her face; she might have been leaving Hogwarts, but she was taking some wonderful parts of it with her.

Feeling unexpectedly light-hearted, she dug into her breakfast, half an ear on James and Sirius' argument, and the rest of her attention on Marlene's description of the state of Alice's hair that morning. A few moments later the mail arrived; there was far less than usual, since the vast majority of parents wouldn't send anything this close to the end of term, knowing that they would soon be collecting their children from King's Cross. There was still some for the teachers though, and some late deliveries for some of the pupils as well.

To the surprise of everyone, including Lily herself, an owl dropped down onto the table directly in front of her, and she stared at it, her face registering her confusion as she took the roll of parchment it carried and offered it a piece of toast. The bird took the titbit thankfully, then immediately flew back out.

She unrolled the parchment and scanned through it, her face clearing as she read. James eyed her change in expression, and when it became apparent that she wasn't going to offer an explanation without prompting, he spoke in a deliberately careful voice.

'Interesting letter? Odd to get mail on the last day of term.'

'Yeah, I know.' Lily pursed her lips as she rolled up the letter. She turned to him and touched his face briefly with the tips of her fingers. 'Have we got time to take a walk when you're done eating? I want to tell you about this.'

James' fork stopped in mid-air as he studied her expression carefully. A little concerned, a little excited. He dropped his fork onto his plate and stood up, holding his hand out for hers. 'I've got time now.'

Lily looked up at him, and seeing nothing but genuine interest and attentiveness in his expression, she slid her hand into his and allowed him to help her to her feet. They began to wander out of the Great Hall, ignoring the curious looks being directed their way.

'Are you sure you had enough breakfast?' asked Lily, swinging their joined hands slightly as they left through the main entrance and began to walk down the steps.

James grinned at her. 'Yeah. Besides, I plan on pretty much buying out the trolley on the train, since it's my last chance and all.'

She had to laugh at that; it was such a stereotypically Marauder way of looking at the world. 'Good to know you'll be on an enormous sugar high by the time I get you to my parent's house.'

He laughed and they walked a little further in silence. They'd reached the edge of the lake before Lily began to speak again.

'The letter was from a friend of Professor Slughorn.'

James raised a curious eyebrow, but remained silent.

'I spoke to him - Professor Slughorn - a few weeks ago, about the possibility of becoming a potioneer? It's not an easy thing to get into anyway, and with the spread of prejudice against muggleborns, well, I wasn't sure it would be possible. But then I thought about what you'd say, how you'd think I shouldn't give up on something before I started, so I asked him, and he said he'd write to a few friends and see what he could do. I asked Dumbledore as well, and the Order doesn't have a potion-brewer at the moment, so that's another thing.'

She realised that she'd begun to babble slightly, so she took a deep breath and rushed her next sentence out. 'And the letter was from one of the people he spoke to offering me a position as a trainee at his apothecary's. You know, brewing stock potions and maybe even experimenting to improve them or create new ones.'

She stopped there, waiting for a reaction. There were a few silent moments before James turned his head towards her. 'Would I know the apothecary?'

Lily nodded. 'It's Mulpepper's.'

His eyebrows rose. 'The one on Diagon Alley?' She nodded again.

He blew out a breath and stopped walking, tugging on her hand so she'd turn to face him. To think he'd been worried that the letter had been _bad _news in some way. 'Well, that's great Lils.'

Her smile lit up her face. 'You really think so? I mean, I don't have to decide just yet of course, but I thought you might be upset that I hadn't discussed it with you.'

'You're discussing it with me now.' He pointed out.

'I know, but still. I thought you might be put out with me.' She looked down at the ground as soon as she'd finished her sentence, obviously still worried about his reaction.

'For having a mind of your own? Give me a little credit Lils.' He reached out a hand and gently pushed her chin up. 'I'm not saying I wouldn't go off the deep end if I found out you were doing something incredibly dangerous or reckless without telling me, but you do have the right to make independent plans for your own future.'

She smiled up at him. 'I know. I also know I wouldn't love you if you were the controlling type. But…I feel like you get some say in this; it's your future too. I mean, it's _our _future.'

Her voice was shy and quiet as she spoke the words that made James' heart soar, that made him all the more certain about the decision he'd recently made. He knew exactly where his future lay. He let go of her hand and stroked a thumb along her cheekbone, and his next words were as quiet as hers had been, and as unexpected.

'Do you know where we are?'

She looked round quickly, and her eyes registered that they had stopped under a beech tree; the same beech tree that the Marauder's had been sat under on a long-ago day, right after an exam, the same beech tree she must have sat under a hundred times since, with or without them. Her lips curved into a sad smile at the jolt of recognition.

'Yes.'

James removed his hand from her face and looked round, his eyes finally coming to rest on the lake. 'This is where things changed for me. That day in fifth year, when Snape used that word, and you looked so hurt…that's when the war became real instead of an idea.'

He turned his head back to face her again. 'And this is where you called me out on the way I'd been behaving, and you were right because – and I'll be honest with you here, Evans – I could be a complete dick at times. I like to think I'd have grown up anyway, even if it hadn't happened, but you…'

He trailed off for a moment and shook his head, an involuntary smile spreading across his face. 'You gave me the push I needed when no-one else would, and I fancied you long before that, but that day…that was when I first thought I could _love_ you. Because you were beautiful, and brave, and loyal and determined, and everything I could ever want. And that's what I _did _fall in love with; all the little things that make up Lily Evans.'

She looked up at him with tearful eyes, and he reached out to wipe them with his thumbs, but she batted his hands away and stepped closer to him, reaching up to lock her arms round his neck. One of the tears finally fell, leaving a track down one cheek, and he ached to kiss it away but he wasn't sure she wanted him to.

'James.' She used her hands to pull his face down to hers. 'A lot can change in two years huh?'

He nodded, his eyes still tracing the line of that tear. Part of him was struggling hard not to just blurt out the words he so desperately wanted to say right then, in that moment. She lifted herself up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek before lifting her lips to his ear.

'I'm glad it did.'

They ended their final morning as Hogwarts students under the spreading branches of the beech tree by the lake; a place which, while it contained both good _and_ bad memories for them both, was irrefutably one of their places. They ended it wrapped in each other's arms, whispering in each other's ears.

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Lily slid her hand into James' waiting one, feeling their palms make contact as she stepped from the Hogwart's Express onto Platform 9 ¾ for the last time. She glanced over one shoulder and saw Marlene step off behind her. If she looked around she could see dozens of people that she knew, several that she _loved,_ and her heart ached at the change that was happening in her life. Change was necessary she knew, and it could be a good thing, but that didn't make it any less painful right now. She'd thought that she'd said her goodbyes to Hogwarts, but apparently there was still more she needed to let go of. She squeezed James' hand tighter and was grateful for his presence yet again; he was steady and warm and somehow incredibly soothing to be around. His thumb stroked patterns on the back of her hand as they weaved their way through the crowd.

They waved at people they knew, they stopped and hugged others, and Lily felt that burn behind her eyes over and over again as she said goodbyes and mouthed the formula phrases.

_Keep in touch. _

_Don't forget to write to me!_

_We'll meet up soon, yeah?_

_Good luck!_

_I'll miss you._

Well-meaning words she knew, but too many of them would become broken promises soon enough, and the thought made her even more tearful than she already was. She almost broke entirely when she saw James saying goodbye to the three members of the Quidditch team who'd be carrying on without him next year. She wasn't sure who looked more upset; James at giving up Quidditch or the other three for losing a Captain they idolised. She held back her tears and carried on in what seemed like an endless round of goodbyes.

Eventually she found herself on the edge of the platform, surrounded by a small group of her closest friends. She looked round at the people stood with her – James, Sirius, Marly, Alice, Remus, Peter, Frank, Mary, Julia – and knew that she trusted every one of them with her life.

They all stood there for a moment, all of them tearful as they looked at each other, staring as if they were trying to memorise the moment for posterity. Sirius pulled his card feather from his pocket, his expression unusually solemn. To Lily' surprise, the rest of the group followed suit; James had apparently shared his idea for a symbolic moment to mark their joining of the Order, and Lily found that she approved of that, very much. This group had gone on a real journey this year, and it seemed only fair that they end it together, and start a new one together.

They held their cards up, and drew their wands until they were all stood, card in one hand, wand in the other.

'Ready for this everyone?' asked Remus with a small smile. They all looked round at each other for a moment, and then cards began to light up until they were all nothing more than black ashes on the wind. They stood and watched the embers blow away until nothing was left in sight, and then they began to go their separate ways, on the understanding that they would all see each other soon; this was _not_ a goodbye.

Finally only Lily and James remained, and they made their way slowly to the apparition point, their trunks floating along behind them. James looped an arm around her waist and she leaned into his side and allowed herself a few moments of sadness for the things she was leaving behind. By the time they reached the apparition bays she was feeling better, but she still held on firmly to James, who took the hint and gripped her tight, holding her close as he took her to her parent's house by side-along apparition, unwilling to let go for the time being.

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The front door slammed shut, and Rose Evans heard her husband's deep voice talking, followed by the distinctive creak of the garage door opening. Lily's laughter rang out in response to something he'd said, and she smiled to herself at the sound of her daughter's cheerful mood.

She'd been happier this year, in a way she hadn't been for a long time, Rose had noticed that much. She'd come home at Christmas lit up with the happiness, and she'd been practically incandescent with it when they'd been at the Potter's for New Year. It had wounded her a little, to see her daughter fit in better with another family than she did with her own, but that little sting of hurt was overshadowed by the relief that she was so obviously truly comfortable with herself, and with what she was, for the first time that Rose could remember.

Then at Easter she'd invited James to stay so she could watch him with her daughter again, and she'd seen what was between them, and it was not only obvious and undeniable, but it already appeared unbreakable. Lily was so much more_ herself_ when she was with him, and he watched her when he thought no one was looking, and somewhere along the line she'd understood that she had been exactly right about why her youngest daughter was so happy these days.

So she'd acted on the impulse when it struck her, and she'd given James a not so subtle nudge. She assumed he hadn't acted on it yet - she couldn't imagine Lily keeping something like that from her - but she knew he would, and from what she had seen it would be sooner rather than later.

Having Lily home for the last few days had been wonderful, and had reassured her that she had been exactly right; with James here with her she had all but glowed the entire time, and even her rows with Petunia seemed to have been tempered, either by Lily's greater happiness or by the presence of a handsome boy.

'Hey Rose.' As if he'd been conjured up from her thoughts, James swung into the kitchen, offering her one of those heart-stopping smiles. 'Thought I could smell coffee.'

Rose smiled at him; a smile of sheer affection and gratitude. 'You're almost as bad as Lily.'

She pulled another cup out from the cupboard, filling it from the pot before passing it to him. He smiled his appreciation and began to add sugar - but no milk - to his drink before sliding himself onto one of the kitchen chairs, pulling the day's newspaper towards him across the surface of the table. She watched him as he ruffled his hair with one hand and took a sip of hot coffee before speaking again.

'Mind if I hang out with you for a bit this morning?' he asked as he folded open the first page. 'Lily went with William to collect…whatever they were supposed to be collecting, I stopped listening…and apparently, I'm more likely to be a hindrance than a help.'

Rose _almost_ managed to cover her snort of laughter with a cough. 'She always could be a trifle blunt. Gets that from her father.'

James grinned at that, and Rose felt that surge of affection for him again; for this laid-back, messy-haired boy who made her daughter light up. 'Well, their loss is my gain; I'm sure you're better company than my grouch of a husband anyway.'

James took a sip of coffee. 'I know better than to respond to an opening like that.'

Rose turned away to hide her smile, dusted her hands off on a tea-towel which she then threw over one shoulder before picking up a plate and waving it under his nose.

'Here, try a cupcake. Lily used to love them when she was little so I thought I'd make some.'

James smiled his thanks as he put down his mug of coffee and took a cake from the plate, idly pulling the paper case off. He bit into the cupcake almost absent-mindedly as he returned to browsing over the newspaper. He chewed for about three seconds before looking at the remnants of the cake in his hand and then back up at Rose.

'Oh Merlin. Marry me.'

She giggled. 'If a woman can have you for a cupcake, I'm surprised there wasn't a baking club at Hogwarts.'

'This is not a_ cupcake_ Rose, this is…well, it's heaven in a paper case quite frankly.' James demolished what was left of the sponge cake and picked up his mug. 'You'll have to teach me how to make them, since Lily reliably informs me that the only thing she's worse at than flying is cooking. I suppose it's a good thing that I'm relatively competent in the kitchen.'

Rose's eyebrows climbed. 'You cook?'

James grinned. 'You look almost as surprised as she did when she found out. But yeah, I can cook.' He reached out and pinched another cupcake, grinning at her when she pretended to swipe at his hand with her tea-towel.

'In case you hadn't noticed, I have a bit of an appetite. I was politely informed by my mother - at quite an early age, I might add - that she did _not_ exist purely to indulge my appetite, and if she cooked for me whenever I was hungry she'd never get anything else done. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I was going to eat her out of house and home, the least I could do is learn to fend for myself.'

Rose picked up her own coffee cup and leaned back against the kitchen cabinets, her face set in an easy smile. 'I enjoyed meeting your mother very much James, and every story I hear of her, from you or from Lily, makes me like her even more. She raised a wonderful young man. I look forward to us all being family one day.'

James looked up sharply. His eyes searched her face for an obvious sign of her mood. Nothing in her face suggested they were doing anything more than talking lightly, but he felt the seriousness of the conversation even if she didn't. He looked down and kept his gaze focused on the back of his hands as he phrased his next sentence carefully.

'I got the letter you wrote me at Easter. I just wanted to say that…I've given it a lot of thought. And…I hope that we'll be family one day too.'

Rose smiled at him.

'Why don't you tell me some more about your family James?'

They were still sat together in the kitchen, talking and laughing when Lily and William arrived home more than an hour later. Lily appeared in the doorway, and Rose didn't miss the way James paused mid-sentence and looked up when he heard her, eyes suddenly only for her; she crossed the room and slid into the chair next to him, offering him a smile, and he answered with a grin of his own before continuing with his anecdote about his father teaching him to fly, his hand reaching for hers in a motion that was obviously both habitual and instinctive.

Rose smiled again, and pretended she hadn't noticed either the gesture or the blush it had raised in Lily's cheeks.

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Two days later, Rose had taken Lily shopping and Petunia was out - again - leaving James alone in the house with William Evans. Lily and Rose had both said he was welcome to come, but the idea of clothes shopping wasn't exactly appealing, and he'd been waiting for an opportunity to speak to her father privately ever since they'd arrived.

Aware that he was about to have one of the more important conversations of his life, he took several deep breaths before he knocked on the door of William's study and pushed the door open. He poked his head round and found William re-organising boxes on one of his shelving units; the older man seemed slightly sheepish at being caught in the middle of such a task. He put down the box he was holding and straightened up before speaking.

'If I don't tidy up my study, Rose does it for me and she throws stuff away – _useful stuff_ – and I can't find anything for weeks anyway.'

James nodded his understanding of the dilemma. 'My dad hides stuff all over the house because he's convinced that my mother is on a mission to throw out all his stuff.'

A brief smile flashed across William's face before he composed his features back into a more neutral expression. 'Women can be odd creatures. But then I'm sure you're aware of that.'

He turned back to his shelves and pulled out another box. He remained quiet for a minute, just to see if James would speak first, but eventually he found the silence uncomfortable and he spoke again without looking up from his task.

'Did you need something son?'

He turned around again at the sound of James clearing his throat nervously. 'I just wanted to talk to you about something.'

'Oh?' William put the boxes back down and moved towards his desk, perching on the edge of it. 'Spit it out then.'

James paced nervously for a moment, but William decided the best course of action was just to let the boy speak in his own time. A moment or two of silence followed, when he perched and James paced, until eventually the dark-haired boy stopped and squared his shoulders as he faced him.

'I feel a bit strange having this conversation. I don't really know if I'm going to say the right thing, but I appreciate you taking the time to listen anyway.'

He looked at William, almost as if he was waiting for permission to continue, and he inclined his head ever so slightly to encourage him to continue.

'I'm going to ask Lily to marry me.' He straightened up and looked William squarely in the eye, only the faintest hint of a tremor in his hands. 'I'm not going to ask for your permission because, quite frankly, this is the twentieth century and Lily makes her own decisions. And, if we're being completely candid here, I'd still ask her whether you gave it or not.'

He paused for a moment to draw breath and then continued. 'But I _am_ going to ask for your approval, and your blessing. Not because either of us need it, but because I think we'd both want it.'

William didn't move from his position and his posture remained unchanged, but he narrowed his eyes at the boy in front of him. 'Have you spoken to her mother about this?'

'Yes.' James spoke firmly and kept his eyes locked on William's. 'I have. And based on our conversations, and the fact that Rose gave me _her _mother's ring at Easter, I think I can safely say she approves.'

William couldn't quite hide the hint of shock he felt at that. 'You're going to use her grandmother's ring?'

James nodded, one hand flying to his hair in a gesture that William recognised as being a characteristic reaction to nerves.

'Yeah.' He felt a little self-conscious about that; his reasoning was intensely personal, but Lily's father deserved to hear it. 'I think she'll appreciate it. She'll like having the family connection; she feels a little…cut off from you all sometimes. I think using a ring from your family to invite her into mine is a nice sort of symbol you know? She's not giving anything up, she's combining two separate parts of her life, and I think she'll prefer to think of it that way.'

William stood and moved around his desk, dropping into his chair and leaning back. He tapped the fingers of his left hand on the desk while he turned appraising eyes on the young man in front of him. 'Clever boy aren't you?'

James shrugged. 'So some people say. I just know Lily.'

'Yes, you do don't you?' William murmured. 'I'd noticed that myself.'

James grinned suddenly as he remembered his conversation with William on New Year's Eve.

_'She knows I love her, I've told her that much. And she knows I've liked her for a long time, though I'm not sure she really comprehends how long. But I'd, uh, appreciate it if you could keep the bit about wanting to marry her to yourself for a while.'_

_'And why would you want me to do that?'_

_'Well, you see, I haven't actually managed to broach the subject with Lily as yet. And er, if she hears about it from someone else and gets it into her head that I'm trying to push her or manipulate her...well, then she'll make up her mind to go hell bent in the other direction just to be stubborn about it...and I'm sure I could change her mind eventually, but I'd rather not have to nag her into marrying me...'_

_'Bloody hell, you really do know her don't you?' _

'Why the rush?' William asked suddenly, breaking the contemplative silence that had fallen between them briefly. 'You're both only eighteen, you've got all the time in the world.'

James blew out a breath. 'Well, we have and we haven't.' He looked seriously at William. 'How much does Lily tell you about the magical world?'

'Not an enormous amount.' William admitted. 'She tells us about school and lessons, but she doesn't talk much about your…Ministry or what she'll do after school or anything.' He paused for a moment before he spoke again, more quietly this time. 'I think she avoids the subject to try and keep the peace. Petunia isn't exactly keen on the topic.'

James nodded, his expression tinged with compassion and a little sadness but he deliberately didn't address the subject of Lily's difficult relationship with her sister. 'I'm sure she just doesn't want to worry you, but I feel like I need to put my decision in context for you. If we could keep this discussion between us?' He looked at William questioningly, and waited for the other man's curt nod before he continued.

'I imagine that she doesn't tell you much about our world partly because she doesn't want you to worry, but also because she probably doesn't _know_ all that much. Hogwarts is very…isolated from the rest of magical society.'

He paused and waited for William to nod his understanding.

'In a lot of ways, our world is similar to yours; there's the Ministry who make laws and enforce them, we have a legal system and our own hospitals and sports leagues and education system, all separate from yours, but all along rather similar lines.'

He looked up at William again, and the other man gestured slightly impatiently for him to continue speaking.

'So, that's all fairly irrelevant I guess. What I'm trying to say here, what's _important, _is that our world - for all the magic in it - is a lot like yours; and it's just as full as prejudice and problems as yours.' He took a deep breath. 'And right now it's at war.'

William inhaled sharply. 'What do you mean, war? How can it be at _war_? Wouldn't we know something about it? Hear about it?'

James nodded grimly. 'You probably have. It's just that your newspapers and politicians wouldn't recognise what's going on as acts of magic. They're probably reporting it as accidents, or inexplicable disappearances or something. But it's a war.'

His hand sank its way into his hair again. 'And Lily and I – especially Lily – are smack in the middle of it.'

William's hands were shaking now. 'Why? What do a couple of teenagers have to do with a war?'

'Well, the war is about whether muggleborns – people from muggle families like Lily - should have rights in our society; there's a movement trying to change things so that they don't. But there are also people – like my parents – who are fighting to defend them. Me and her – we're targets because of who we are. She's in danger just for being who she is._ I'm_ in danger for believing that she's an equal – and for loving her.'

He stopped again to draw in a struggling breath before he carried on. 'But I _do _love her, and _I don't care_ if some bigots think there's something wrong with that. We don't know what's going to happen, but I want to make the most of whatever time we have. So I want to marry her. I don't want to put anything off.'

William leaned forward across his desk. 'Would you still want to marry her if there was no war?'

'Yes.' James answered without hesitation. 'I would. I just might wait a little longer to ask her. Maybe. Then again, maybe not.'

William lifted his head and met James' eyes, and he saw unwavering loyalty and warmth in them. 'Okay, James. You have my blessing.' He reached his right hand out across the desk, and James clasped it in his.

'You take care of my little girl.' James nodded, his hand still grasped in William's. 'And a little bit of advice James? Let her take care of you as well. There's a strength in her that you wouldn't believe.'

James grinned. 'Oh, I reckon I'd believe it.'

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'Where are you off to?' Lily jumped at the sound of Petunia's voice coming from her doorway.

'James' house.' Lily answered without looking behind her, stuffing more clothes into her trunk. 'I'm going to stay for a couple of days. His dad's retiring, and there's a big party.'

She continued to pack, keeping her eyes on her trunk and away from her sister's outline in the doorway. She wondered why Petunia had come to talk to her in the first place, and why she wasn't leaving as soon as she possibly could. Her idle questions were answered when Petunia spoke again. 'Mum wants us to have dinner sometime. The four of us.'

Lily dropped the hairbrush and make-up case she was holding. 'The four of us? As in you and me…'

'And James and Vernon, yes.' Petunia interrupted impatiently.

'Well that's…' Lily sat down on the edge of her bed as her addled brain searched for words to express her feelings. 'That's…unexpected.' She finished weakly.

Petunia snorted. 'It's ridiculous. I don't know why Mum feels we all need to be friends.'

Lily tried her best to keep her expression neutral. 'I'd _like_ to be friends Tuney. I miss you.'

She could have sworn she saw a brief softening of her sister's expression, but it was fleeting and Petunia's face swiftly settled back into its familiar hard lines. 'Yes, well. You made your choices Lily.'

Lily sighed. 'It was never a _choice_ Tuney. I can't ignore who I am.'

'You could have tried.' Petunia glared at her. 'You could have pretended for a moment that your family was more important to you. But no, it was about _Lily_ fulfilling her potential, _Lily _being allowed to flourish. You left us all behind without a second's thought Lily, so don't ask all of us to make allowances for you now.'

'Tuney.' Lily heard the pleading tone in her voice and hated herself for it, but she couldn't help it. 'Tuney, I wrote, I came home for holidays. It's just a _boarding school_. Sure, it's a magical one, but that's all. Would you still hate me if I'd gone to a normal boarding school? Is it the magic Tuney, or the fact that I left? Because I can't help either one now, but I'd like my sister back.'

Petunia turned her back and began to step out of the door, but she stopped and spoke without turning back. 'Would you give it up?'

'What?'

'The…magic.' Petunia sounded as if she was choking on the word. 'Would you come home, give it up and be a normal part of our family again?'

Lily sighed, and tried to give the idea some honest thought instead of just reacting. After a moment she shook her head and laughed inwardly at herself; no matter how long she thought about it for, the answer would never be any different.

'I don't think I could. It's so much a part of me now; it would be like cutting off a limb. And I don't know that I could keep it under control if I ignored it; you remember how I used to do things without meaning to.' She paused, unsure as to whether she should continue, but if this was a chance to make her sister see her side, she was going to be honest.

'But the thing is, Tuney, maybe - _maybe_ - I would have tried before. If you'd asked before, I might have been able to cut off my friends and pretend that I wasn't a witch, but that isn't an option for me now. I might have been able to give magic, but Tuney I can't - _I can't_ – give up James.'

She saw Petunia stiffen, but she didn't move and for the first time Lily thought that she might actually be listening to her. So she carried on.

'And I couldn't bring him with me - James is pureblood wizard. He couldn't function outside of the magical world, and he'd have to cut off his entire family. It's not fair.'

She took in a deep breath and spoke quietly. 'Please Tuney, _please_, don't ask me to choose between my family and this world, and James and the magical one. I…please just don't.'

Petunia remained motionless in the doorway for a moment before she began to walk away again, and Lily slumped down, dejected at being unable to make her sister understand yet again.

'We'll see about dinner; Vernon's very busy so it might have to be after you've moved out. If it is, I'll get mum to contact you.' Petunia's voice wasn't friendly, but it wasn't as overtly hostile as normal either. Lily seized at the potential olive branch.

'That sounds good Tuney. Thanks.'

But the doorway was already empty of her sister's frame, and there was nothing else for Lily to do but return to her packing, with just the faintest hint of hope in her heart.

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'Lily, hold still!' Marlene dropped her wand and used both hands to push down on Lily's shoulders, forcing her back into her chair. Once she was sure Lily had stopped struggling she picked her wand back up and resumed her struggle to style her wavy red hair into an elegant up do.

'I don't think this is really necessary Marls. James just said to wear something nice that I think is suitable for a cocktail party, he didn't seem concerned about making an extra-special effort. No-one's going to be looking at me.' Lily folded her arms across her chest and glared at her reflection in the mirror. Marlene laughed and paused in her ministrations to make eye-contact with Lily's reflection.

'Sweetie, _everyone's_ going to be looking at you.'

Lily's stance lost some of its defensiveness as she looked at Marlene's earnest face. 'Wh…What? Why would anyone be interested in looking at me?'

Marlene sighed and put down her wand, spinning the chair around so that she could actually look Lily in the eye instead of talking to her reflection. 'I didn't really want to have to discuss this with you, but I guess maybe it's better for you to be prepared. This is a retirement party for James' dad, which means all eyes on the Potters. And you, the muggleborn girlfriend of one of the most eligible pureblood bachelors around. You'll be getting a fair bit of attention, not all of it nice.'

Seeing Lily's face pale slightly, she sighed and knelt down in front of her, grasping one of Lily's cold hands in hers and rubbing it lightly to try and warm it through a little.

'Sweetie, it's nothing to worry about. James is going to stick close to you I'm sure – Merlin knows it's hard enough to pry him away from you on a normal day – and they'll be plenty of people that you know, and plenty who will be nothing but nice. I just want to make you look as fantastic as possible because I want you to walk into that Ministry party looking amazing, and stuff their bigotry straight back down their throats. I want them to choke on it. I want them to be stunned at the sight of you, walking in on James' arm, more beautiful and more powerful than any of their precious purebloods.'

She sighed and squeezed Lily' hands a little tighter in hers. 'Just, let me do that, okay? For you and for James.'

Lily looked at her best friend, staring back at her so sincerely, and she slid off the chair onto the floor and put her arms around her. They stayed that way for a moment, kneeling together with their arms wrapped round each other, before Lily pulled away and climbed back into the chair.

'Okay Marls. Do your worst.'

Marlene smiled and picked up her wand, returning to the task of styling Lily' hair. 'Have I mentioned that it's really cute that you quite often slip and call me Marls now?'

She flicked her eyes up to the mirror and met Lily's reflected gaze again; the redhead quirked a questioning eyebrow and Marlene grinned as she carried on teasing and styling. 'Marly. That's what you – and all the girls really – have always called me. But every now and again you call me Marls, which has always been James' nickname for me; and sometimes you use the Marauder nicknames for them too. It's sweet. You're picking up his habits.'

'Shut up.' Lily blushed and looked down at her hands, studiously ignoring Marlene's giggles behind her.

Half an hour later, Lily was so bored she almost cried with relief when Marlene announced she was done with her hair. She admired the elegant twist that Marlene had created, lavished her with slightly insincere praise, and was just about to scrabble out of her chair when she was firmly shoved back down as Marlene produced a make-up case the size of a small hippogriff.

'Really?' She groaned. 'I'll just use a charm. A glamour charm. They work really well.' She looked up at Marlene, hope tingeing her voice.

'And they wear off.' Said Marlene firmly. 'Ten more minutes Lily, that's all it will take. It's not like I'm going to cake you in it.'

She let out a grumpy sigh, but gave up and allowed Marlene to attack her with a combination of brushes, sponges and powders.

True to her word, Marlene took less than ten minutes to make-up Lily's face to her satisfaction.

'Right. Done. Dress.' She ordered imperiously, pointing towards the dress bag hanging on Lily's bedroom door. She got up and grabbed the bag, holding it up and biting her lip nervously.

'You're sure about this? You don't think it's a bit…'

'No. No. No. I think it's perfect, and if you don't put it on right now I'm going to full body bind you and dress you like a doll so help me.'

Lily wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes to express her displeasure but grabbed the dress bag and headed for the bathroom opposite. She'd no sooner shut the door and dropped her dressing gown off her shoulders than the door swung open again to admit Marlene, who was waving a small bag at her. Lily squeaked and grabbed at her dressing gown, but Marlene simply rolled her eyes and held out the bag.

'These too.'

Lily reached out for the bag and peeked inside, eyes taking in the ivory coloured lingerie before closing the bag again immediately and looking up at Marlene, eyes wide and cheeks flaming.

'Marly…'

Marlene held up her hand to forestall any discussion. 'No arguments Lily. A dress is only as good as its foundation; good underwear is essential. Put. Them. On.'

The door shut behind her and Lily was left alone to dress herself. She emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and dashed across the corridor back into her room, feeling quite self-conscious about her dress. Once again chosen by Marlene against her better judgement, her dress was midnight blue silk, short and strapless. It was beautiful - and Marlene had been right about the underwear – but she couldn't help but feel that it was a little modern and daring for a ministry party, especially when she didn't particularly want to attract attention. Of course, Marlene had specifically said that she _did _want Lily to attract attention, so that probably explained that.

Her room was now empty; Lily wandered over to her bed and picked up her blue clutch before gathering her courage and heading to find Marlene. She'd only gone a few steps along the hallway when she heard her name called; she turned and saw Marly heading towards her, her scarlet red dress clinging to her slim frame. Her friend smiled as she caught up to her and linked an arm through hers.

'Knew I was right about that underwear.' She grinned at Lily. 'Don't forget to tell James that I said he was welcome.'

'Marly!' She tried her very best to sound shocked, but there was a definite grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Marlene's lips curved up into a smile. 'Oh, don't even try to pretend that he's not going to be seeing it later. At least make sure everyone sees how amazing you look _before_ you let Potter drag you into a closet to do incredibly depraved things to you.'

Lily huffed out an exasperated sigh. 'There will be no _closets_ Marlene, we will be at a Ministry function. James is hardly going to try and rip my clothes off in a building full of dignitaries is he?'

Marlene snorted as they rounded the curve of the hallway and stepped onto the staircase. 'Please. You probably can't even _begin_ to imagine the number of dirty little fantasies he's had about you, and he's going to take one look at you and mentally replay them all.'

'Thank you. I think.' Lily looked a little uncertain and Marlene laughed at her.

'It was a compliment. His jaw is going to drop when he sees you. He gets all gushy over what you look like when you've rolled out of bed in old pyjamas, so Agrippa only knows what he'll do when he sees you in that dress.'

They'd reached the bottom of the staircase and James came out of the family sitting room doors just as they stepped off the final stair onto the marble of the hallway floor. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared.

'Holy fucking hell.'

Marlene gave Lily a triumphant smile and sailed past James towards the room he'd just left. James stepped slightly closer to Lily, his movements hesitant, as if he thought she was a mirage that would disappear if he got too close.

'Lily.' He breathed her name and took one step closer. 'You look…I don't have words.'

She smiled uncertainly. 'Marly picked it out; I think it's a little daring.'

He reached out for her hand and she entwined their fingers without hesitation; he pulled her a little closer again, enjoying the scent of vanilla and heat that rose from her skin. 'I think it's amazing, incredible, gorgeous. I know I told you to wear something nice, but I'm not sure I meant something _phenomenal._ You look beautiful; I'm going to be hexing blokes away from you all night.'

Lily giggled and felt herself relax as he took the final step towards her.

James thought she was beautiful.

He liked her dress.

He looked at her like she mattered.

And, she thought, as his lips ghosted across hers, he kissed her like they were the last two people on Earth.

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James' arms tightened around Lily as they turned another slow circle on the dance floor, both of them oblivious to the looks they were getting, whether they were disgusted, indulgent or amused. Neither of them could bring themselves to care right at that moment.

Marlene had been more or less accurate in her guesses about the evening; they'd been watched non-stop since they arrived, and Lily's appearance had indeed caused a few whispers, but she had stuck close to James, and by and large the people who had stopped by to talk to them had been completely pleasant. There'd been a number of hostile looks though, and a fair few barbed comments; enough to make James' fingers twitch towards his wand a few times. Still, they'd finally hit upon a solution that suited them both; they'd headed for the dance floor, firmly enveloped themselves in each other's arms and ignored absolutely everybody and everything around them.

James finally stirred and lifted his head from where it rested on top of hers. 'Bored yet?'

Lily snuggled her head tighter against his chest. 'Of this? Not really.' She felt James' laughter reverberate through his chest and his lips swept briefly across her hair.

'It's late.' He murmured. 'A lot of people have left. We can get away with sneaking off now, proprieties observed and all that. If you want.'

Lily tilted her head back to make eye contact. 'Do you want to go?'

He lifted a hand away from the small of her back and gently placed it on her cheek. 'I think I'd like to be alone with you.'

Her lips curved. 'I think I like the sound of that.'

He chuckled at that, stepped away from her and took her hand, leading her back over to their table which was currently only occupied by Sirius and Marlene; James left her at the table and headed off to let his parents know they were leaving.

She grabbed her clutch and tried her best to ignore the knowing smiles that she was getting from Sirius and Marlene; rather predictably, Sirius was the first to give up on subtlety. 'You and Prongs leaving already?' He smirked at her and she tried to look irritated, but couldn't really hide the little smile that was playing on her lips.

'It's actually quite late you know. And yes, we're going now. We'll see you at home.'

Sirius' lips quirked when she referred to Potter Manor as home, and he would have said something further if James hadn't re-appeared at her side and taken her hand. 'Ready?'

She smiled up at him. 'Absolutely.'

They wondered out of the room, and although Lily was confused when they walked straight past the apparition points and the floo connections, she assumed that James had arranged an alternative. It wasn't until they stepped outside into the cool air that he stopped and turned to her, his face arranging itself into a brief frown as he saw a shiver run through her. He pulled his wand out and whispered a warming charm, his expression relaxing as he saw the slight tension leave her shoulders. He held a hand out towards her.

'I thought…it's a nice night, I thought maybe you'd want to take a walk?' He sounded oddly nervous for some reason she couldn't fathom, but Lily ignored it and slipped her hand back into his, smiling at him as she did so.

'That'd be nice.'

They strolled in silence for a while, enjoying the summer air and the quiet feeling of connection that came from having their hands joined as they walked together. For security purposes the party had been held in a manor house in the middle of nowhere with extremely secure wards, and access had been by invitation only. Only once a guest had produced their invite would they be allowed to apparate or floo in, and the grounds of the house were completely cut off from the rest of the world. No-one else in attendance at the party seemed to feel the need to walk in the night air, so James and Lily were totally, blissfully alone as they walked quietly, neither saying a word for quite some time.

They'd just reached the edge of a formal rose garden, it's flowers filling the air with their heavy scent, when James stopped suddenly, pulling on her hand to stop her with him.

'If I don't do this right now, I'm going to lose my nerve entirely.'

Lily looked at him, her eyes enquiring as they took in the signs of his increased nervousness. 'James?' she asked tentatively. He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small velvet box before he dropped to one knee in front of her.

She clapped a hand over her mouth as she suddenly realised what was happening, and her heart sped up so much she thought it might break right out from behind her ribs and leap through her chest. She looked down at him, at his bright eyes - still sparkling hazel, even in the dim light of the moon - at his messy hair and glasses, and his ridiculously tempting lips.

And she waited.

He ignored his pounding heart and racing pulse, and tried to focus on keeping his hands from shaking. He took in her face looking down at him; the pale skin, the green eyes that all but glowed in the starlight, the pink lips that she bit when she was nervous. She wasn't biting them now. And she was beautiful, and brave and brilliant.

So he asked.

'I thought a lot about how to do this. I weighed up all the grand gestures in my head you know? Should I do it in a restaurant, hide the ring in a glass, take you for a walk on the beach, spell out the words in fireworks in the sky?' He gave a shaky laugh at that and ran a hand through his hair in that old, familiar gesture before taking a deep breath and continuing. 'And then I realised I already _knew_ how to do it. Like this. Just the two of us here, because it's only the two of us who matter. Simply, because this _is_ simple, Lily. It's the simplest thing in the world. I love you, Lily Evans, and I want you to stay with me always. And I want you to do it as Lily Potter.'

He opened the box, and Lily felt her eyes fill when she saw that he was offering her her grandmother's ring, nestled snugly in white silk.

'Will you marry me?'

She looked from the ring, to his face, and back again. She blinked, trying to force back the tears that wanted so desperately to pour out. She gave one little sob before she choked out her answer.

'Oh God, James, of course I will.'

He was on his feet in a second, pulling her into his arms and kissing her furiously, fiercely.

'I love you.' He whispered the words against her lips, and they sounded reverential, almost like a prayer.

'I love you.' She murmured them back as she pressed up against him, pushing herself up on her tiptoes for better access to his mouth. She kissed him senseless, and he kissed her right back until they were both breathless and punch-drunk. When they eventually broke apart and stood with their foreheads touching, James stooping slightly and Lily still on her tiptoes, he whispered to her again, his words tickling the delicate skin of her ear.

'Give me your left hand.'

She removed it from his neck and brought it down slowly until it was held between them. He reluctantly released his grip on her and took her left hand gently in his right; he used his other to slide the ring into place, then raised her hand to his mouth and placed a lingering kiss over it.

'Too late to back out now.' He lifted his lips to her temple. 'There's no escaping me anymore.'

Her smile grew even wider as they stood there, joined by their hands and bound by a simple twist of gold and diamond. 'I'd never want to.'

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**A/N: Well, Lily had to have the last word really didn't she? Honestly, how many of you thought James was going to propose under the beech tree? I almost changed the plan as I was writing it, it just seemed like such a good moment, but I resisted the temptation. **

**So that's it. Turning Tables is officially finished, BUT there will be a sequel. It's possible it may become a trilogy looking at the amount of notes I've already made for it. (Brief spoiler: I've already plotted 16 character deaths. Yeah. I think it's going to have to be M rated.) It's not titled yet, but I will be starting work on it in the next few weeks, and I will probably start publishing it in early June (sooner if I can). I will try and remember to add an author's note to TT so you'll know when it's up. **

**In the meantime, I'm also turning my Jily one-shot (New Year) into a multi-chap, so I'll be working on that if you're interested, I've got a few more plot-bunnies to turn into one-shots and I've kind of plotted a Harry/Ginny AU that I can't decide whether to write or not. I also have quite a lot of fics to catch up on myself ;D**

**Thank you again for every review, follow or favourite and I really hope that most of you will be joining me for the sequel.** **I'm on Tumblr as ****_scared-of-clouds_**** if you want to chat, ask a question or follow for updates or whatever; there's a link on my profile. And I will ALWAYS respond to asks over there, or PMs if you want to message me on here. **

**Lots of love to all of you wonderful, amazing people. **

**Nikki**

**XX**


	37. Just an Author's Note

Hi guys,

First chapter of the sequel is up! I actually remembered to post an author's note to tell you, which is impressive by my standards.

The sequel is called 'My Kind Of Love'.

Thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing this story, even though it's completed. Even if you find this story _months_ after the last update, please leave me your thoughts in a review, because your views as my reader's **will never stop being important to me.**

Love always

Nikki

X


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